(I enjoy watching sappy movies on a certain TV network, even if they are reruns. My boyfriend, however, hates them, so we have a deal: if it’s a rerun, and he guesses who did it, he gets to pick what we watch. We are about five minutes into a movie.)
Boyfriend: “He did it.”
(He points at someone who is, in fact, the bad guy. I’m shocked.)
Me: “But he hasn’t even said anything yet; how did you know?”
Boyfriend: “This is a Lifetime movie, and he has a penis.”
Imagine growing up and getting married in a time when sex education was nonexistent, birth control information was illegal, and ignorance about sex was considered a virtue. But even in the repressed era around the turn of the century, there were books of advice for brides-to-be. These manuals, by vaguely-qualified experts, tried to gently get newlyweds off on the right foot, while maintaining the taboo against explicit language. They had to walk a fine line between preparing a virgin for her wedding night and telling so much that she couldn't feign ignorance -which was important.
Also, knowing too much is unbecoming in a bride. Men adore the fact you're ashamed of yourself, as Karl Heinzen explains in 1891's The Rights of Women and Their Sexual Relations:
There is, indeed, another kind of shame. It is that delicate shyness which the virgin feels when she is to step beyond the boundary of virginity, as well as that feminine reserve which strives to hide or to guard her charms. This "shame" is…a natural consequence of an emotional affection upon entering a new life…it has nothing to do with the consciousness or the fear of seeing something improper disclosed, is an ornament to every woman, and its absence is a proof of dullness and coarseness. [The Rights of Women and Their Sexual Relations]
Salt-in-sweets is one trend I'm not sick of—probably because for me, it's not a trend at all. Whether it's sneaking in an extra 1/4 tablespoon salt into a batch of cookies or putting a pinch in some frosting, the truth is that salt puts sweets over the top, and your favorite pastry chefs use this trick all the time.
Now there are some sweets that go a bit farther, are a little more aggressive for the chocolate-covered pretzel fans. This is one of them. The interior of the pie is essentially regular pecan pie plus chopped bittersweet chocolate, resulting in a slice that's full of rich caramel custard and pecans, with a chocolatey edge.
Because the interior is quite rich, like a giant Turtle candy, the salt helps balance things out. It also makes the pie crazy addictive, so be warned that you'll be asked to repeat it far beyond Thanksgiving.
On Thanksgiving, I don't think any dish inspires quite as much love and jealousy as stuffing. Or, for that matter, technical debate over stuffing vs. dressing. Sure, if it's baked inside the turkey it's stuffing, and if it's not, it's dressing. But to me, it will always be stuffing — it sounds so much more satisfying than dressing, which brings to mind vinaigrette.
And on my table, the stuffing is always some version of this classic sage and onion mix. No cornbread, oysters, or dried fruit for me. This is Pepperidge-esque, Stovetop-style stuffing — but all homemade and full of toasty flavor from good bread, and savor from turkey stock. This recipe is surprisingly simple; in fact, why not make some tonight? It never hurts to practice your stuffing, whatever you call it.
Peanut butter and chocolate dressed for fall. [Photograph: Yvonne Ruperti]
When I was thinking of a festive, fall-themed cookie to make, Reese's Pieces came to mind. Enrobed in bright orange, yellow, and brown, the leaf-like colors are perfect. And the hot heat of an oven? These little candies say bring it on. The crisp candy shell is every bit as colorful and crunchy after the bake. Plus, a chance to make another peanut butter recipe? Well that made it a no-brainer.
Rather than just pile the candies onto a basic blondie, I took my favorite blondie recipe and incorporated peanut butter. Shooting for a texture similar to a buttery, moist peanut butter cookie, I adjusted the sugar, butter, and flour amounts hoping to balance the sweet, fatty, and sticky properties of the peanut butter. After a few trial and error batches, and adding some chopped peanuts for extra crunch, I landed on a great recipe that was totally peanut butter-y, tender, moist, and best of all, easily mixed together in just one bowl.
The key to achieving a fudgy texture is to slightly under-bake the brownies, which I've accounted for in the recipe baking time. Smothered with heaps of Reese's Pieces candies on top, these bar cookies are a winner any time of the year.
(I am trying to give an inspiring speech to my five and seven-year-old boys.)
Me: “You guys, don’t let anybody tell you otherwise: you can be anything you want to be. You can be a police officer, a fireman, a sanitation worker, a doctor, a nurse, a lawyer, a carpenter, a scientist, an auto guy, a pilot, a dentist. You can do it if you put your heart into it. Work hard, and study hard. Always try to do your very best. You’re going to be the kind of ‘somebody’ you want to be.”
Five-Year-Old: “Anything I want to be?”
Me: “Yes. The sky’s the limit!”
Five-Year-Old: “Cool! Then I want to be a MOM when I grow up!”
Me: “Aww…”
(I melt at my son’s flattery.)
Me: “Sure you can! You want to give birth, love your kids, teach them to be good, have fun with them?”
Five-Year-Old: “No! I want to play Wii all day, sleep all day, eat whatever food I want—”
Seven-Year-Old: “—not cook, not clean the bathroom, let dad do the dishes—”
Five-Year-Old: “—use bathroom words but never get grounded—”
At Quartz, economist Allison Schrager argues that it’s time for the United States to ditch daylight saving time. For all of the reasons that CGP Grey provides in the video below, I agree: it’s pointless and needlessly complex.
But Ms. Schrager goes beyond this (I would hope) obvious point. She argues that the United States, which has 4 time zones in the contiguous 48 states, should cut back to just 2.
Before the United States created 4 standard time zones for the 48 states in 1883, there were about 300 time zones as individual localities set their own standards. This made train scheduling impossible. 4 time zones, however, was manageable. Ms. Schrager writes:
I spent the last three years commuting between New York and Austin, living on both Eastern and Central time. I found that in Austin, everyone did things at the same times they do them in New York, despite the difference in time zone. People got to work at 8am instead of 9am, restaurants were packed at 6pm instead of 7pm, and even the TV schedule was an hour earlier. But for the last three years I lived in a state of constant confusion, I rarely knew the time and was perpetually an hour late or early. And for what purpose? If everyone functions an hour earlier anyway, in part to coordinate with other parts of the country, the different time zones lose meaning and are reduced to an arbitrary inconvenience. Research based on time use surveys found Americans’ schedules are determined by television more than daylight. That suggests in effect, Americans already live on two time zones.
Green onions are used in so many recipes, but unfortunately, they always come in big packs and you can’t use them all before they go bad. The One Pot Chef has an easy trick to help you store them for months.
Remember when your mom got mad at you for letting the water overflow
in the bathtub? Not with these tubs! These are overflow bathtubs by German
manufacturer Kasch, which as their names suggests, are designed to
overflow their rims. They have a surrounding outer ring that captures
the water as it overflows and recirculates it back to the tub.
View more of these gorgeous bathtubs over at our new home design blog
Homes & Hues: Overflow
Bathtubs by Kasch
Pike Place Market in Seattle is best known for its salmon-tossing fish mongers, but there are also some great hole-in-the-wall spots for tasty eats on the cheap. Among these, Piroshky Piroshky is a staple. The purveyor of Russian piroshki—individually-sized pies with sweet or savory fillings, wrapped in dough and baked—always has a line out the door.
Employees bustle behind the piroshki-packed counter, rolling out different doughs, stuffing pies, and folding each into a distinctive shape, depending on the filling. The smoked mozzarella, mushroom, and broccoli is a buttery oblong pastry; the cheese and garlic roll is a spiral of yeast dough; and beef and onion is a rectangle of puff pastry.
As you may have noticed, I'm focused on the savory pies. There are 14 in all, an embarrassment of riches, and I decided to try them all. Even in the pouring rain, the line snaked out the door, around a corner, and under a protective roof on the day I visited. Seating in the shoebox-sized shop is cramped—a tiny counter—so I opted for take-out.
I learned a lot that day. The first thing I learned is that getting friends together for a piroshki tasting is an uphill battle if it's raining and there's a Seahawks football game on. With one stalwart friend, though, I soldiered on. Here are our takeaways: meat fillings seem to have a more complex and dimensional flavor than vegetable-only fillings. Mozzarella is more a filler than a flavor. And cheddar cheese is always a good idea.
Check out the slideshow for a full account of our journey and stay tuned: our report on the sweet piroshki will be up tomorrow!
About the author: Cameron Kane prefers fingers to forks, if given the choice.
According to Amazon.com reviewer George Takei (yes, that George Takei), it’s the one book that you’ve got to read immediately:
For years I have searched for the perfect audio book project. "Shogun," some friends suggested. "War and Peace," I've considered. Or perhaps "Green Eggs and Ham."
But it wasn't until I stumbled, quite by chance, across "The 2009-2014 Outlook for Wood Toilet Seats in Greater China" that I knew. I KNEW.
Sure, the title and the first few hundred pages may seem off-putting. "What the f*@k is this?" Brad demanded, just 20 pages in. "It's like some kind of terrible grad school thesis."
But right around page 375, the OFWTSIGC (2009-14) becomes a white-knuckled, roller coaster of emotions--the sort we expect from world class thrillers. Indeed, just when you think the author has exhausted his dear readers, after what seems an unimaginably methodical survey of mainland China's wood toilet seat projections, he reminds us, ever so artfully, about GREATER China.
Taiwan. Macao. Hong Frigging Kong.
Now, admittedly, the near $500 price may be a bit daunting, but on a per word basis, it's quite a bargain. And imagine its uses! Senate Filibusters will never be the same. OFWTSIGC (2009-14) It also makes a terrific father's day gift for that dad who "thinks" he has everything. This will show him, huh.
Stephen Wilson agrees:
I picked this up off Amazon with little or no knowledge of the Chinese situation. It was all just a black hole to me. But, I must say that after a constipated start, I was riveted. Seeing the transformation of Xiao Ling through adolescence and the turmoil accompanying his parent's gastrointestinal issues until his later redemption at the ministry of lavoratory accessories was really moving to me. In fact, I don't see how anyone can read this and not be moved deeply and viscerally. I will admit there were parts that I strained to get through. There were other times that I wanted to gush over what was going on; flush with the excitement. […]
I must say that I was not equally enchanted with the movie version of this. While I normally like Samuel L. Jackson, I just did not think he was able to pull off Mei-Zhen, Xiao's older sister. Also, some of the funnier moments in the written version just did not come through on screen. I will add that the sequel to this "The Chinese Wood Toilet Seat that Kicked the Hornet's Nest" was not anywhere near the caliber and of the seminal first work.
Overall, I would highly recommend this. Don't listen to the "haters" of wood toilet seats out there. This one is a keeper!
Revolverlbc, however, gave the book this one-star review:
I'm not sure what all these rave reviews are about. I was just as excited as the next man to order this highly anticipated follow-up to "The 2002-2009 Outlook for Wood Toilet Seats in Greater China" but it left me flat.
It felt forced and unneeded. I think the author just wanted another pay day without having to come up with something original.
I can't believe they got Nicholas Cage for the movie... or I guess I can.
According to Amazon.com reviewer George Takei (yes, that George Takei), it’s the one book that you’ve got to read immediately: