what thought tarot would be like: I can see the past, present,and future so clearly!!
what it's actually like: damn I just got called the fuck out by a deck of cards
OK, so conceivably the Enterprise could outshoot the Millennium Falcon. No problem admitting that one. But that assumes the Enterprise has left enough of its own crew alive to order it to attack something other than them.
The Millennium Falcon: Battered, outdated, patched-up, seventh-hand piece of junk used by a small-time criminal.
The Enterprise: State of the art government funded and developed scientific research vessel designed to carry a large crew of elite scientists and diplomats on incredibly sensitive and important missions.
The Millennium Falcon: Never fails, reliable, decades after it's been theoretically rendered obsolete it still works better than modern ships, can be easily maintained and repaired by two guys of questionable competence.
The Enterprise: Some catastrophic failure happens in every episode. An alien sneezes and the warp core almost melts down and kills everyone. The entertainment system can kill you. Oh shit the transporters are jammed again.
pro tip for bad body image days: look at yourself the way you’d look at a cat. average-sized cat? awww. itty bitty cat? so cute. big fat cat? mcfreakin’ adorable. cat with chubby cheeks? AMAZING. cat with a big soft belly? LOVE IT. cat with scars? MY CHILD. so go out there and strut your stuff like the cool cat you are !!
“the millenium falcon would wipe out the enterprise in seconds” lmao the enterprise is just an innocent science class floating thru space…. all they wanna do is look at some rocks… kiss an alien…. find some space plants….. why would you fight that its not a battleship theyre just nerds…… leave them olone
Police need to be forced to record every single death that results from their existence to a non law enforcement entity. This would enable Public Health Departments to provide real time information about police killings. It’s absolutely appalling that the police can opt out of keeping track of how many people they kill.
whatever you do don’t think about the fact that rey has been wearing the same hairstyle and similar clothing since she was 5 years old bc she was probably worried her family wouldn’t recognize her when they came back for her
aliens: because theres people who think that english is the only language they need to speak
me: thats fair i understand
For some reason I find this all the more amusing because it’s written in English
moi: pourquoi vous détruisez le monde!!! l'extraterrestre: parce que il y a des gens qui pensent que l'anglais est le seule langue pour parler moi: ah ça c'est bien
ich: warum zerstört ihr die erde!!!
aliens: weil es leute gibt die glauben dass englisch die einzige sprache ist die sie sprechen müssen
ich: das ist fair ich verstehe
yo: por qué están destruyendo el mundo? :( los extraterrestres: por que hay personas que creen que el inglés es el solo idioma que hay que hablar yo: ok está justo, yo entiendo
ég: af hverju eyðileggið þið jörðina!!! aliens: af því að það er fólk sem finnst að enska sé sú eina tungumál sem þau þurfa að tala ég: oh, það er vit í þessu. ég skil.
io: perché distruggete la terra?!
gli alieni: perché ci sono persone che pensano che l'inglese è l'unica lingua per parlare
io: ahh capisco
ik: waarom vernietig je de aarde!!!
aliens: omdat er mensen zijn die denken dat engels de enige taal is die ze hoeven te spreken
ik: oh zo, ik snap het
minä: miks te tuhootte maapalloo?
alienit: koska tääl on ihmisiä joitten mielestä englanti on ainoo kieli jota niitten täytyy puhua
minä: toi on reilua, ymmärrän
私: どうして地球を滅ぼしているんですか？
宇宙人: 英語しか喋る必要がないと思う人がいるからです
私: なるほど、わかりました
me: Wosück maakt ji de Welt twei!!!
aliens: wieldat dat Lüüd gifft, de dinkt dat Engelsch de allenige Spraak weer, de een snacken mütt
me: jo, daar seggst wat. Nu versta ik’t
aniga: dhulka maxaad u burburinaya !!!
shisheeyaha: dadka intiisa badani u malaynayaan in Ingiriisidu tahay afka oo kaliya ay u baahan yihiin inay la hadlaan
aniga: waxaan fahamsanahay. waa wax cadaalad
我：你们为什么在毁灭地球?！！
外星人：因为有人以为他们只会英语就可以了
我：懂了，说得有道理
ako: bakit niyo sinisira ang mundo!!!
taga-ibang planeta: kasi merong mga taong akala nila Ingles lang ang kailangan nilang matutunang lenggwahe
ako: ah, sige naiintindihan ko
Aku : kenapa kau hancurkan bumi!!! Alien : karena masih banyak orang berpikir hanya bahasa inggris satu-satunya bahasa yang terpenting Aku : oh, oke lah..
tôi: tại sao các người hủy diệt trái đất!!!
người ngoài hành tinh: bởi vì có người nghĩ rằng tiếng Anh là thứ tiếng duy nhất mà họ cần biết
tôi: ồ thế thì tôi hiểu
Eu: De ce distrugeți pământul!!! Extratereştrii: Pentru că există oameni care cred că engleza e singura limbă pe care trebuie să o vorbească Eu: E corect atunci, înțeleg
Eu: Por que vocês estão destruindo o mundo?
Alien: Porque tem gente que pensa que inglês é a unica língua que dever ser falada.
The only people I need to police is myself. And, honestly, that's such a full-time job, I can't even imagine needing to take on the whole rest of the world like some people do.
disabled people: please stop harassing us when you think we aren't disabled enough. we end up hurting ourselves in a bid to Function enough so we don't have to deal with you.
able people: no..... i have.. . you don't understand..... i have to ..... defeat the FAKERS
during this massive resurgence in star wars hype, i’d like to remind you all that one of the people you’re idolizing - Carrie Fisher - has bipolar disorder. don’t you ever forget that. we are everywhere, we can do great things even while we struggle, we are important, and we deserve to be recognized as such.
For real. I also love that she’s talking about it during interviews and panels, and when people bring up her dog like he’s a fun quirky pet on set, she’s very quick to remind them no, he’s a service dog, he helps her to function.
Also her book Wishful Drinking is hilarious and heartbreaking as she talks about her life and her problems with addiction (which arose as an attempt to self medicate), and Shockaholic continues on in a very frank manner as she talks about how her problems almost lost her custody of her daughter Billie, as well as her life, and how she’s finally found a treatment (electric shock therapy) which is helping her, but also eradicating chunks of her memory. To paraphrase her “she’s losing her mind to stop herself from losing her mind”.
She’s abrasively sharp, witty and frankly hilarious, even when she’s talking about heartbreaking subjects. And yet there’s still fuckers out there talking about how much she’s let herself go over the years and how she should make more effort if she’s gonna be Princess Leia again, and they have no idea, no idea how much effort she puts in to staying alive every day, let alone staying functional and appearing in a movie franchise as big and overwhelming as Star Wars.
Everyone characterizes Leia as this profoundly strong and enduring character. But the character of Leia has got nothing on Carrie Fisher.
It really, REALLY bothers me when I hear people frame climate change and other environmental crises as something that everyday, average-ass people are responsible for, and not corporations and entire governments.
Like literally, how can a regular-ass person ~opt out~ of all damaging behaviors while still being able to function in society?
You literally can’t.
The future of our planet is not down to whether or not someone recycles their water bottle.
It’s down to whether or not governments and corporations decide to quit sucking up all our resources and poisoning the earth with reckless abandon.
I mean obviously people should still live as cleanly and as sustainably as they can manage where they are and with what they have, but like. THAT isn’t the major issue.
govts and corporations have deliberately put the onus on yr individual choices so the system can continue being as destructive/profitable
I'm pretty sure I'm not actually ADHD. That said, the memory problems that are either a symptom, or the root cause of my dyslexia make this list disturbingly accurate.
You have instructions written down. You don’t need them, but you check them anyway. Somehow they’re different from what you remember. Have they changed since you tucked the paper in your pocket?
You realize that you’ve lost your train of thought. You can’t remember what you were thinking before. There is only your present thought, now a loop of panic at your lost memory.
You stop in the middle of a room. Why are you here? Which room did you come from? You leave the room and remember what you were going to do. You walk back into the room. Why are you here?
You bring up an inside joke with a friend. They look at you blankly. They do not remember this joke. But you were there when I made it, you argue. They were not. They are not the friend you are thinking of. You realize it was your other friend, from work instead of high school, with blond hair instead of brown, tall instead of short. You do not know how these two friends are so similar in your mind.
You refer to every experience as happening “the other day.” Was it three years ago or yesterday? You try to remember context clues. Time is not real.
Someone asks you for an important piece of information. You have not thought about it since you saved it on your computer, labelled very clearly. You search through your files. It is not there. You find it days later by accident, labelled with a cryptic set of codes. You don’t know why you would label it this way. No one else uses this computer but you.
You are running late. You are always running late.
You have lost something. You check everywhere. You check everywhere again. Someone tells you to think of when you last had it. You don’t tell them that is the problem.
You reach the end of the page. You can’t remember what you just read.
Sky King’s Falconry was at the ren fair. This white-collared raven named Lenore takes tips from the audience to help support the organization and the work they do! www.skykingsfalconry.com
this would bankrupt me. i just wouldnt be able to stop myself from giving this birb all my money
Kylo has a cracked crystal in his lightsaber which is why it looks so ragged and unstable. And the crossguard blades are vents for the saber because the crystal is so stressed it can barely contain the power of the weapon. So basically it’s a crudely assembled saber with modern components that mirrors an ancient design.
can’t choose my favorite thing about the new star war but the millennium falcon being an actual piece of shit that looks on the verge of falling apart was one of the best things. best things. old lady who smokes too much but still gots it where it counts that’s my girl
Honestly, I'm both of these, depending on the day.
Aaron Burr: I'm sorry, you must be level 6 friend to unlock my tragic backstory.
Alexander Hamilton: WHO WANTS TO HEAR MY TRAGIC BACKSTORY??? YOU OVER THERE?? I WILL TELL ANYONE WHO WILL LISTEN
