gabbie

Released today on Steam, Gone Home has garnered praise for its deeply affecting narrative, stripped-down design and a unique aesthetic steeped in 90's nostalgia and riot grrl culture. "When I played Gone Home I had the stunning realization that there could be a game for me. Someone can make a game for me." -Leigh Alexander. "It's touching, unsettling, deeply honest, and enormously compassionate. -Rock, Paper, Shotgun. "Gone Home is an epic story, but its definition of epic is far removed from how we usually talk about scope and drama in games. It's epic, personal and revelatory to the people involved, and that's why it's so special." -Giant Bomb. Polygon's 10/10 review. How Gone Home's design constraints lead to a powerful story. The Fullbright Company's Journey Home.

If you're A.) looking for a good laugh, B.) love the dulcet tones of boy band music and c.) think that all of the best jokes are upstairs/downstairs based, you're in luck! The very funny Tara Ariano of Previously.TV has used the last round of Downton Abbey promo stills to create the day's best meme, Boy Band Butlers.

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For the two people in the media who loved 30 Rock, news that Tina Fey and her co-showrunner Robert Carlock are heading to NBC with a new show is the best thing they'll hear all week. Deadline reports that Fey is producing "an untitled comedy from 30 Rock writer-producer Colleen McGuinness" which is "said to be in the vein of Cheers."

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by Emma Carmichael

"My job, as CEO, is to hire the right people. My job is to know a lot of engineers, editors, venture capitalists, and salespeople—and to bring them together. Knowing the difference between mascara, concealer, and eye-liner is not my job."

-Bryan Goldberg, founder and CEO of the new women's website Bustle

I. THE THINGLINESS OF THE THING

"What, in truth, is a thing insofar as it is a thing? When we ask this question we wish to know the thing-being (the thingliness) of the thing. The point is to learn the thingliness of the thing. To this end we must become acquainted with the sphere within which are to be found all those beings which we have long called things.

"A mere thing is, to take an example, a tube of mascara. It is long, thin, plastic, blue, cylindrical, small, and it says “VOLUM’ EXPRESS THE MEGA PLUSH” on its side in silver lettering. We can notice all these features in the mascara. We take note of its characteristics. Yet such characteristics represent something proper to the mascara. They are its properties. The thing has them. The thing? What are we thinking of if we now call the thing—the tube of mascara—to mind? Obviously the thing is not merely a collection of characteristics, and neither is it the aggregate of those properties through which the collection arises. The thing, as everyone thinks she knows, is that around which the properties have gathered. One speaks, then, of the core of the thing—the core of the mascara."

II. THE DIALECTIC

"In Hegel’s famous woman-and-mascara parable, a hidden dialectic follows the same pattern. Before encountering the mascara, the woman is potentially free but not actually so, for she has never been exposed to the freeing possibility of eyelash enhancement. The mascara symbolizes God, and when the woman becomes dependent on VOLUM’ EXPRESS THE MEGA PLUSH the woman becomes the master, gaining 'freedom.'"

III. THE VEIL OF IGNORANCE

"It is assumed, then, that the parties do not know certain kinds of particular facts. First of all, no one knows the shade of the mascara, the brand of the tube; nor does she know the cost of the cosmetic, whether or not it is waterproof, and the like. Nor, again, does anyone know the same for the compact of concealer or the tube of eye-liner. More than this, I assume that the parties do not know the particular circumstances of their own eyelashes. They do not know, for example, the particular situation with the eyelashes—have they been curled?—at this moment in time. The parties must also not know the contingencies that conspired to create this tube of mascara.

"It may be protested that the condition of the veil of ignorance is irrational. The restrictions on particular information are of fundamental importance, however. Without them we would not be able to work out any definite theory of mascara at all. We would have to be content with a vague formula stating that this mascara, VOLUM’ EXPRESS THE MEGA PLUSH, is better than the other mascara, and we would not, at present anyway, be able to determine it."

IV. EXISTENTIALISM

"If one considers an article of manufacture as, for example, a tube of mascara or a compact of concealer—one sees that it has been made by an artisan who had a conception of it; and he has paid attention, equally, to the conception of a tube of mascara and to the pre-existent technique of production which is a part of that conception and is, at bottom, a formula. Thus the tube of mascara is at the same time an article producible in a certain manner and one which, on the other hand, serves a definite purpose, for one cannot suppose that a man would produce a tube of VOLUM’ EXPRESS THE MEGA PLUSH without knowing what it was for. Let us say, then, of the tube of mascara that its essence—that is to say the sum of the formulae and the qualities which made its production and its definition possible—precedes its existence. The presence of such-and-such a tube of mascara or compact of concealer is thus determined before my eyes. Here, then, we are viewing the world from a technical standpoint, and we can say that production of VOLUM’ EXPRESS THE MEGA PLUSH precedes its existence."

V. AN IMPORTANT MOMENT OF CLARITY

"If her functioning as a female is not enough to define woman, if we decline also to explain her through 'the eternal feminine,' and if nevertheless we admit, provisionally, that women do exist, then we must face the question, 'what is a woman?'"

VI. SOLIPSISM

VOLUM’ EXPRESS THE MEGA PLUSH does not exist. Nothing exists.

 

We very much look forward to Bustle's contribution to this ongoing discussion, and others.

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We've been waiting anxiously for Bret McKenzie (the tiny kitten-shirted costar of Flight of the Conchords) to get another music project. And now he has — and he says it's akin to the classic fantasy movie Labyrinth. EVERYBODY FREAK OUT.

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Respira, respira, respira. Perfetto.

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A devout representative of the Czech Republic’s Pastafarians and her Noodly Flock,  Lukas Novy, has legally won the right to wear a spaghetti strainer while being photographed for his official government ID card photo, citing “sincerely held” religious beliefs.

Look at his young, open, honest face, peering at you from under his religious headdress! He is an inspiration for Pastafarians everywhere, the followers of the world’s largest and most prominent non-religion, worshiping a deity that is truly edible and Full of Complex Carbohydrates.

Good for Lukas. Not so good for the Czech’s government, though. The news of Mr. Novy’s headgear debacle that ended in his legal triumph was reported on August 2^nd, Five days later, on August 7^th, Czech parliament declared a vote of no confidence to the government. Whether these two events are connected, Flying Spaghetti Monster only knows. Flying Spaghetti Monster — if you didn’t know then you should! – is an invisible Noodly Monster who boiled for your sins.

It is presumed that tonight, hundreds of thousands of self-listed Jedis around the world will help celebrate Novy’s small win in the battle for freedom of expression for all religions, hoping perhaps that soon the time will come when their own saber-wielding ways will be enshrined in legislation.  (“Pastafarian” wins right to wear strainer on government ID)

Ramen!

Wow! Another nice hat. Not as thoroughly ventilated as a spaghetti strainer but quite fetching nonetheless.

Pleasant weekend to all!

Starring Michael Sheen and Lizzy Caplan, Showtime's new one-hour drama series Masters of Sex chronicles the "unusual lives, romance, and pop culture trajectory" of William Masters and Virginia Johnson, pioneers of the science of human sexuality. Rowr. ish.

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by Jia Tolentino

There's a long, great Guy de Maupassant review by Julian Barnes up at the London Review of Books that starts with this tidbit: "Fucking women," wrote Maupassant in a letter to his mentor Gustave Flaubert, two days before his 28th birthday, "is as monotonous as listening to male wit. I find that the news in the papers is always the same, that the vices are trivial, and that there aren’t enough different ways to compose a sentence."

Already amazing, and then Flaubert's reply:

You complain about fucking being ‘monotonous’. There’s a simple remedy: cut it out for a bit. ‘The news in the papers is always the same’? That’s the complaint of a realist – and besides, what do you know about it? You should look at things more carefully … ‘The vices are trivial’? – but everything is trivial. ‘There aren’t enough different ways to compose a sentence’? – seek and ye shall find … You must – do you hear me, my young friend? – you must work harder than you do. I suspect you of being a bit of a loafer. Too many whores! Too much rowing! Too much exercise! A civilised person needs much less locomotion than the doctors claim. You were born to be a poet: be one. Everything else is pointless – starting with your pleasures and your health: get that much into your thick skull. Besides, your health will be all the better if you follow your calling … What you lack are ‘principles’. There’s no getting over it – that’s what you have to have; it’s just a matter of finding out which ones. For an artist there is only one: everything must be sacrificed to Art … To sum up, my dear Guy, you must beware of melancholy: it’s a vice.

I need a Flaubert to set me straight like that ASAP. Also: "In 1884 [Maupassant] published more than a story a week; in 1886 three every two weeks." A blogger before his time.

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Praise the Goddess of Fast Fashion: After operating here for 13 years, hip, affordable Swedish retailer H&M is finally going to offer online shopping to those of us in the U.S.

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I'm not one to wear tin foil hats, but that's because silver's really not my color. But I'm willing to put that aside after reading this new study (But seriously, silver does NOTHING for my skin tone). Scientists at MIT have successfully created false memories in mice, according to a study released in the journal Science.

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I love Game Of Thrones. I’m a huge fan. But, I have a confession.

I had no idea how much went into the costumes. No clue as to the level of detail. I knew they made gorgeous costumes, but it wasn’t until I saw these images of the embroidery done by Michelle Carragher that I’ve really understood just how magnificent they are and how that detailed work brings a richness and beauty to the costumes and the show.

Maybe everyone else knew about how stunning and intricately beautiful her work is, but even if you know, you’ll enjoy seeing these pictures after the break.

And if you’re as clueless as I was? Prepare to have your breath taken away.

You can also check out Michelle Carragher’s website and blog for embroidery tips.

(via Messyness Chic)

Do it, Rockapella! No really, please do it. The public misses you.

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by Jia Tolentino

Here is an incredible article about llama ownership at the New York Times. Within it, llamas are compared to snack foods:

Most people start with two or three, since llamas are sociable and don’t like to live alone. But as Katrina Capasso, a llama owner in Ballston Spa, N.Y., discovered, “They’re like potato chips.” It’s hard to stop at just a few.

Also to novelty decor:

“I refer to them as our walking lawn ornaments,” he said fondly.

To that video of the mariachi band serenading a dolphin:

“Llamas will steal your heart.”

To festival-goers:

Llamas are strictly outdoor animals, and males must be kept separate from females, otherwise they will mate nonstop.

To your very best pal:

“They’re just so calming and enjoyable to be around," she said. "You can tell them all your secrets and your problems. They know all my likes and dislikes, when I’m mad at my husband and when I’m happy with my husband. They don’t tell anyone, they just listen.”

To your wild-card girl friend:

Unless they feel threatened, they rarely spit at people… “They’re standoffish at first, and then they’re in your face.”

To me at every Alt-J show I've ever been to, because what are those lyrics, really:

“People come up to me and ask, ‘Why are the llamas humming?’ ” he said. “And I’ll say, ‘Because they don’t know the words.’

I'll stop in a second, but one more little delight:

When a male is interested in a female, or mating, he makes a noise that sounds a bit like gargling. (Llama people call this an orgle.)

And a great correction:

Correction: July 8, 2013. Because of an editing error, an earlier version of this article referred incorrectly to alpacas. They are bred for their wool; they are not beasts of burden.

"I'll never be your beast of burden. My back is broad, but it's a-hurtin," said alpacas worldwide.

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Artist Nickolay Lamm — he of the future fish faced humas and fresh-faced, scary-ass Barbie — got the measurements of an average 19-year-old from the CDC (Center for Disease Control & Prevention) and then made a 3D model and used photoshop to shape her into Barbie's blond as hell image. The result? Skipper on steroids A much closer to human-looking doll that won't make seven year olds feel like they need to start throwing up their Lunchables.

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There are a few people I avoid at all costs. There's the guy who's apartment I projectile vomited the guacamole I had eaten earlier that night, the college roommate who knows I cry every time I poop, and those kids who I had a big falling out with over Brian Eno (If they don't like Brian Eno, they are not your friend).* They're the kind I'll do outlandish, Mr. Bean-like things to avoid, whether that means hiding behind a copy "Buddhism for Dummies" at Barnes and Noble or haphazardly crossing the street and causing a bike accident because, SERIOUSLY if that girl from the dorms sees me, we'll look at each other and make that face where she's like, "I know," and you're like, "You know" and another little piece of me will die inside. And I really need to stop dying inside.

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The day I accepted my job as an entry-level government attorney making $43,350 a year was one of the happiest days of my life.

I had finally landed a job—a dream job. And maybe most importantly, I knew there would be a light at the end of the tunnel: an end date on my student loan repayment. Because with this job, I could ask for forgiveness.

I graduated from law school with excellent references, phenomenal internships and clinical experiences, fantastic grades, and a quarter million dollars in debt.

In a better economy, I would have had an offer before graduation day. Instead, I graduated and lived in a state of stress, fear, and anxiety for a year while I looked for work. I worked odd jobs on top of other odd jobs while applying for every legal position available within 200 miles.

On paper, my financial situation looks pretty ominous. I make $43,350 per year pre-tax. I owe in the neighborhood of $247,000 and I’m accruing student loan interest at 7.3%, which is nearly $1,000 per month (May’s interest was $979.66). I make student loan payments of $199 per month under the "pay as you earn" plan.

When my friends and family discover how low my loan payments are compared to my sky-high balance, they wonder how I am ever going to be able to pay this off. I used to wonder, too. Those statements killed me and filled me with worry. But then I got this job.

Forgiveness baby. It’s a beautiful thing. Forgiveness is my light at the end of the student loan tunnel, and what a glorious light it is.

In an attempt to encourage more workers to enter public service fields, Congress created the Public Service Loan Forgiveness (PSLF) program in 2007. It allows qualifying applicants to seek forgiveness for any remaining student loan balance after working for 10 years in a public service profession.

The first time I found out about loan forgiveness was in a letter accompanying my student loan billing statement. I was at the end of my first deferment period, about six months after graduating from college in 2007. The letter alerted me to the new legislation and gave some bullet points on how to qualify for forgiveness.

I didn't pay much attention to the letter. I was planning to enter law school the following year and expected to go into private practice after that. I'd make my own money and pay off my own loans.

Then over the course of law school, I realized that the economy was bad for most people—and even worse for new lawyers. Graduating without a job and spending a year looking for one confirmed this.

I had a great mentor in law school who really helped me understand the importance of having good attorneys work in public service, whether government work or non-profit agencies that help the indigent. I did two semesters of litigation and appeals clinics my last year in school, and that experience drove me to pursue public sector employment. I really respect the attorneys who work for much less (literally, usually 30-50% less than our private sector counterparts) because they believe in the good that our profession does.

Loan forgiveness doesn't hurt though, and if I'm completely honest, this was a huge driving factor in pursuing my job. The knowledge that my lower salary was tied to loan forgiveness made those smaller numbers much easier to accept. There were other benefits as well: I don't have billable hour quotas, I get to work on interesting cases, I have a pension and retirement plan, and I have health insurance, to name a few of the big ones. These extra benefits are what really pushed me to fight for public service jobs, in the end. I already believed I would love the work and would thrive in this type of job, so these benefits just helped push me over the edge.

The $199/month that I currently pay towards my loans obviously doesn’t even make a dent in my interest. Without PSLF, I would be paying off this balance for at least 25 years. With this plan, I have the opportunity to serve the public, work for a small but manageable salary, and have confidence that my student loans will not ruin my life.

Surprisingly, many people who work in a public service profession, or those who want to, have no idea this program exists. My nurse roommate and social worker sister-in-law both plan to take advantage, but neither had any idea forgiveness was an option.

I think this is my dream job because it combines everything that is important to me. I knew I wanted a job where I could get into court early and often, and really hone my litigation skills. This is a huge opportunity for me to grow and learn, and I don't think I would have the same opportunities in private practice. Work isn't everything, though, and stability and "work life balance" are really important to me. Spending time with my friends and family outside of work is a real priority for me, and this job allows me to do that. I don't live at the office, and I work late or on the weekends at my own discretion. I have insurance, I can pay my bills, I have free time, and I have a job that I enjoy. That's the dream, at least for me.

I used to feel immense guilt and anxiety over my student loan balance. Now, I know that I have a plan that will get me debt-free in 10 years. I’ve come a long way from that year of darkness. Some people think the PSLF program allows people to take advantage of the system, but for the ones it helps, there truly is no greater relief. It’s a saving grace, and I’m working at a relative pittance to earn it. This safety net has given me back the confidence I lacked and has driven me to get the rest of my life in order. I’m so thankful every day that I no longer have to fear my loans. I have a plan, and I will be forgiven.

Qualifying for PSLF is pretty simple:

• First and foremost, the loans have to qualify for forgiveness. Generally, all loans under the Direct Loan program qualify. If you have non-Direct loans, you can usually still consolidate those loans under Direct Loan and qualify. Parent loans and private bank loans won’t qualify, but most other types of student aid will.

• Second, you have to be employed full-time in a public service profession (which includes non-profits of many types, as well as all government employees, public school teachers, etc.)

• Third, you have to make 120 on-time, full monthly payments under a qualifying repayment plan.

That’s it. Serve the public for a decade, and the Federal Government will release you from student loan debt.

Theresa Y is a lawyer.

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