videos via Lene Seested
submitted via Laughing Squid Tips
A chart for us bald men who accept it, and the superstars who’ve taught us how to make the best of it.
image via Oscillating Profundities
submitted via Laughing Squid Tips
Canadian-based Boston Pizza has taken to social media to help them find new and unique ways of serving pizza. Known as “Pizza Game Changers“, the campaign has promised fans “if you like it, we will make it”. Options have so far included pizza tacos, pizza mints, a gas-powered pizza cutter and the current favorite – the six-layer “pizza cake”, which according to the company, is “great for birthdays, bar mitzvahs, weddings, and even lonely nights watching infomercials.”
Unless you live in a place where snow and winter never show their ugly faces, a year-round garden is out of the question. But if your green thumb results in a surplus of herbs during the summer, you can always freeze them in this handy grinder that keeps them fresh and easy to serve during those frozen snowbound months.
Funny or Die pokes fun of those who like listening to stories over understanding science in its latest: Creationist Cosmos. It's like the new Neil DeGrasse Tyson Cosmos reboot TV show only made for Creationists. So instead of explanations about the universe, we get very unscientific reasons of why things exist. It's all in silly fun.
If you think back to the last time you cut yourself using something sharp, it was probably in the kitchen, not your workshop. Given how much more time we all spend in the kitchen, it makes sense that the risk of injury would be higher. So it also makes sense that someone would design a set of kitchen knives that are safer, easier, and more comfortable to use.
Since scientists have yet to figure out a formula for real-life human spiderwebs (c'mon, guys!), hardware hacker Patrick Priebe took matters into his own hands. But since he's limited by real-world constraints too, he instead engineered this wrist-worn electromagnetic miniature harpoon launcher.
In the egg category, my favorite for ease and laze is this spinach and cheese strata, however, if I have even 15 additional minutes at my disposal (which, let’s be honest, I do, especially when I spend less time here) remains these baked eggs with spinach and mushrooms. We talked about it, oh, seven years ago, but it’s been so buried in the archives, literally three recipes deep with a single hideous photo, that I’m long overdue to unearth it. At the time, I was charmed by how incredible something so wholesome could taste. These days, I’d add to its list of charms: vegetarian, gluten/grain-free, as good for a weeknight dinner as it is a weekend brunch dish, and oh, did I mention that it looks like an Easter egg basket? That’s a recent development.
Los Angeles artist and writer Todd Spence has created the “Bleak Movies Coloring Book for Kids,” a coloring book that gives dark R-rated films a positive child-friendly twist. You can view more pages from the series on Break.
Most kids aren’t allowed to watch R rated films, especially the really dark and twisted ones with terribly bleak endings that stick with you for days and days, so I finally figured out a way to let children enjoy some of those bleak movies along with the rest of us.
images via Break
On a recent episode of Inside Amy Schumer, the eponymous comedian, along with guest actor Josh Charles (late of The Good Wife), parodies the popular HBO series The Newsroom with “The Foodroom“. Set inside a fast food restaurant, “The Foodroom” utilizes the signature rapid-fire dialogue, lengthy monologues and the “walk and talk” style of screenwriter Aaron Sorkin, a style that can also be readily found in many of his other shows such as The West Wing, Sports Night (also featuring Josh Charles) and Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.
Die Gstettensaga: The Rise of Echsenfriedl is a feature length sci fi comedy set in a post apocalyptic future in which the world has been devastated by the “Google Wars.” The film is the first feature length production from Austrian art and technology group Monochrom. It was directed by Johannes Grenzfurthner. Die Gstettensaga: The Rise of Echsenfriedl is currently available as a free download.
The growing tension between the last two remaining superpowers - China and Google - escalates in the early 21st century, and results in the global inferno of the “Google Wars”. But the years go by, radioactive dust settles on old battlegrounds, and a New World rises from the ashes of the old. Fratt Aigner, a seedy journalist, and Alalia Grundschober, a nerdy technician, live and work in Mega City Schwechat: the biggest semi-urban sprawl in the foothills of what remained of the Alps. Newspaper mogul Thurnher von Pjölk assigns them a special task: to venture into the boondocks of the Gstetten and find the legendary Echsenfriedl. It is the beginning of a journey full of dangers, creatures and precarious working conditions.
images via Monochrom
submitted via Laughing Squid Tips
You can use many words and terms to describe Glenn Beck if you want like rodeo clown, Vicks Vapor Rub King, conman, grifter, charlatan and circus barker are all terms that are apropos for him, but now he's crossing into new territory.
Beck: My longest running unspoken prophecy, if you will prompting is being fulfilled right now and it is one I haven't spoken and still am not going to because it is the one most personally frightening to me. It's begun. I even argued with him a week ago saying, not impossible, won't happen, not possible and it's happening,.
Glenn Beck's transformation from a one-time "rodeo clown" into a quasi-prophetic religious leader of a doomsday cult continues to pick up steam, with Beck informing his staff during yesterday's morning meeting that his "longest running, unspoken prophecy" is now beginning to be fulfilled in the world.
Picture it: A beautiful, 18th-century city with a dark underbelly. The labyrinthine streets are faintly lit by alchemical light, and gangs of thieves and cutthroats roam the lower quarters and canal-ways. High above, Dukes and Dons attend gala society parties, far away from the plague-ridden quarters below.
Next week, the Supreme Court will hear arguments in another election law case. This one concerns an ad run by Susan B. Anthony List, a pro-birth organization, against Rep. Steven Driehaus. In the ad, SBA List accuses Driehaus of voting to allow taxpayer funds to be used to fund abortions, despite the last-minute protections built in to ensure that didn't happen.
The antiabortion group Susan B. Anthony List launched a campaign to unseat Driehaus, preparing to run billboard ads saying, "Shame on Steve Driehaus! Driehaus voted for taxpayer-funded abortion."
The statement was false, Driehaus said, since under the law no federal funds can be spent to pay for abortions. He threatened to sue the billboard company, which decided against running the ad. Then he complained to the Ohio Elections Commission, which found "probable cause" that the statement was false.
Driehaus dropped the suit after he lost, but SBA List insisted it live on in order to challenge the issue at the Supreme Court level. They really want the United States Supreme Court to rule that lies are protected speech under the First Amendment.
This could possibly be the understatement of the year:
The arcades that dominated the 1980s and 1990s slowly died off as home video game consoles became more and more capable, but there are apparently still some good reasons to keep a pocket full of quarters handy. Namely this arcade simulator for a game called War Thunder that puts Afterburner to shame.
Twenty-seven wooden blocks weighing 600 pounds each? That's no regular game of Jenga—that's a job for a team of five giant, yet agile, Cat excavators and telehandlers to take on. Just some machines having fun.
All registered names are real and pulled from the International RollerGirl's Master Roster site.
Amber Waves of Pain
An Inconvenient Ruth
Bein’ A Dick Arnold
Bleed the Fifth
Bondage N. Clyde
Bruisin' B. Anthony
Carmen Miranda Rights
Cuban Menstrual Crisis
Dubya T. Eff
General Grant Slam
General Lee Sweaty
Georgia W Tush
Harriet Beat'cher Ho
Jackie Own Asses
John F. Penalty
Justice Feelgood Marshall
Laura Biting Citizen
Lee Derby Oswald
Mace Em Dixon
Maul of America
Michelle O’ Bomb Ya
Punk Sue Tawney
Sandra Day O’Clobber
Scar Spangled Banner
Rock the Vogt
Rogue V Wade
Rosie the Pivoter
Ruth Hater Ginsberg
Ralph Weirdo Emerson
Rip Van Whistle
Rutherford B. Crazed
Spars and Strikes
Susan B. Amputee
The Randi Canyon
The Secret Cervix
Photo via larry1732/flickr.
Nicole Matos is a Chicago-based writer, professor, and roller derby girl. Her work has appeared in such publications as Salon, The Classical, The Rumpus, theNewerYork, The Atticus Review, THE2NDHAND txt, berfrois, Aperion Review, Chicago Literati, neutrons protons, Vine Leaves, Requited, Burningword, Monkeybicycle, Oblong, and others.3 Comments
In 2022, fires will destroy over 2,025 acres of Texas. In 2048, the Glacier Land Resort will open for people looking to see what life was like before the glaciers melted. In 2049, the Smithsonian—no longer open to the public—will feature a preserved hummingbird in their archives, the last proof of their species ever existing.
These are all possible futures as created by the users of FutureCoast, an interactive alternate reality game that began in February and concludes its run in May. Funded by a grant from the National Science Foundation, the overarching story of the game is simple: Mysterious objects known as “chronofacts" have begun appearing throughout the world. Once decoded—which a grassroots organization luckily takes care of for us—they're revealed to be voicemail leaks from the future, and not necessarily all from the same one. And that's, well, that's pretty much it as far as the plot goes.
But while the story is simplistic, the project—produced by Ken Eklund (who previously tried to save our doomed planet with the award-winning ARG World Without Oil) and Sara Thacher (one of the main forces behind San Francisco's Jejune Institute ARG/public art-ish thing)—is anything but. More than simply a collection of possible “what-ifs," the true goal is figuring out how to use storytelling to persuade.
Rick Paulas: There's a lot of different mediums you could have chosen for this project. Why just voicemails?
Ken Eklund: I wanted to focus on what the medium was. Because if we're like, well, we're getting videos from the future, it really opens up this big can of worms creatively. That could be a successful thing, “the YouTube of the Future has a leak in it and we're getting videos." But you could see how that could pre-select for people who are really good at doing videos. It becomes this narrow range who could participate and get above the bar that was set. I wasn't really interested in getting high quality from a narrow group of people. I thought it was very important to make it very democratic. It is a communication medium anyone can do.
Sara Thacher: Voicemails are basically these little miniature short stories, micro-stories, that give you a sense of place and story and characters. But voicemails also do this other thing. It's a story structure that you immediately understand. I say voicemail, and you understand. It's a message that's left for a person and there's a story structure all built in just by saying “voicemail."
I was kind of shocked that, instead of the voicemails being this scary apocalyptic future, they were mostly people with everyday tones, almost banal. Did you expect to get that? Or did that come out organically?
Ken: It does organically develop. You could say there's a certain amount of transference because of the medium of voicemails. But I really thought there'd be a bunch of voicemails from people who were in crisis, and a bunch of screaming and incoherent and apocalyptic visions. If you kind of look at what goes on in the movies, it's always The Day After Tomorrow, or whatever the deal may be. So for me, that's a very interesting signal.
Sara: There's a couple of voicemails that are just screaming. They're in there. But people who take the time to create a voicemail have a genuine desire to communicate about their vision. And you just can't… it's actually very difficult to scream disaster and actually give a picture of what's going on. So people gravitate towards stories where they can be descriptive.
Were there any utopian futures you had to edit out?
Ken: We publish everything we get, so there is no editorializing. We really do want to be very receptive place. But I would say that we have indeed have utopian ones. There's one we got called The Wind-Gen One. It's a very simple message of a neighbor calling another neighbor and saying, “Hey, you don't have your wind generator on, we're thinking we're maybe going to be in a brownout situation this weekend, and we need you to turn on your wind-gen." So, that is a pretty utopian future. A neighbor is being neighborly and just calling and telling them what's going on. It's kind of strange we don't recognize utopia when we hear it.
Sara: They can be really subtle. We had a voicemail that's a pizzeria calling back to confirm an order, and they're ordering pineapple pizza, and it's their top shelf pizza. They're making a commentary on what foods are going to be available, and the relative exclusivity and price of the foods of the future. But all in this very, very simple little voicemail.
Ken: You can spend a lot of time parsing them out into what they really mean. There can be the voicemails that sound like we have this future under control, but in the end they're ultimately sad, because you listen to them and be like, oh, if this is true, then this is also true. The stories of greatest hope and greatest fear can be combined in the same voicemail, and it's not obvious which it is when we're listening.
A big part of the story is that these “chronofacts" are discovered and sent in to be decoded. But these chronofacts are, in fact, real physical items you place in the actual real world. It seems odd to spend money creating and placing these when it seems mostly unnecessary for the project. What was the thinking behind that?
Ken: It's a lot of trouble, but it provides this kind of moment that makes the fiction seem a little more real. There is a desire that these games have. People want to live in the fiction a little bit. It doesn't take a lot of money, it doesn't take Hollywood actors. With as simple a thing as having these and the idea of voicemails, there's this buy-in.
By making this a user-submitted project, you're essentially taking a poll of what people's feelings/worries/etc. are about the future. Did anything surprise you?
Ken: For me the biggest point of surprise was people talking about air pollution. I just don't really flag that myself. But since the game and this theme has emerged, I'd been thinking about it, and I have my own theories about why that theme is emerging, and it has to do with China and the bad air days in Beijing. The idea that we are slaves to energy production, and the idea that if energy production necessitates us ruining our air, we will do that, because we want our energy. That's what happened in China. They were just making these coal plants, and nobody did the math about how much air a coal fire pollutes.
So, is the goal of the project to get a sense of what people are feeling?
Ken: There certainly is an aspect of FutureCoast that's interested in seeing what people come up with. But the game goes back to the creation of these voicemails, and what happens with people when they actually do that. When we talk about games of change and causing change, it's really about that moment when people think about the future. They're doing it in the context where they're considering making a voicemail, and idly speculating on the voicemails they heard. It's this really interesting space of future thinking where you go, this is not some kind of abstract subject, climate change and the future that we live in. This is what's actually going on. This is a future that people I know are going to be living in. So, to see people go through this process of making voicemails, that's where the game is actually working its change. This very simple invitation to play is actually not all that simple. It actually starts all of these gears turning, which I hope continue to turn.
Sara: When you create a voicemail, you have to put yourself in the first person. Translating from what do I think the future might be like, to what's my first person account or communication set in that future. It causes you to think about that very differently. Even if that's not a future you're ever going to see, you have now used first person language and have acted as though this future is real for that brief moment. You gain this lived experience. That's very different from “Well, I think things are going to get hotter."
Ken: The question is, how do you convince people of things? We're in this place right now with climate change where you can line up almost every single scientist on the planet and still people just kind of go, um, I'm just not going to take that. And so you ask yourself, what is actually wrong? How do people get persuaded of things? Where is the emotional contact?
Sara: It turns out information isn't that useful in changing minds, or persuading them. Facts don't actually do that very well, even if it's a fact from a reputable source. There was a fantastic article that came out recently that looked at the issue. They said, here's this data set. And a person's ability to analyze the data set is directly correlated to their mathematical ability, because it's something that requires a little bit of math. If you score well on a general math aptitude test, you're going to do better analyzing data and using it to draw a conclusion. But once it becomes at all partisan issue—that is, it has at all a spectrum of viewpoint, where there's actually a left and a right—that correlation between mathematical aptitude and ability to understand the same data set is not correlated at all. It's entirely predicted by what party you associate with, rather than your mathematical aptitude. Your ability to understand factual information drops off dramatically. Actually telling stories and telling fiction with people I can relate to, and situations I can relate to on an emotional level, is much more important than the facts. And it goes both ways. This is how Fox media runs.
Ken: There's a useful dichotomy between rhetorical and poetic means of persuasion. Rhetorical persuasion is the idea that I have an argument, someone else has an argument, and we have a winner. In the science world in particular, when they talk about persuasion, that is all they are talking about. But in the real world, there is advertising, there's the reality that poetical arguments really have currency. When you look out of the world of science, the world actually works on poetic persuasion, on the idea of stories and competing stories. When you look at the science of persuasion, there's been all of these studies done about rhetorical persuasion, and you have very little done about poetic persuasion. That's one of the things we want to bring in to the science around climate change. Voicemails are this way to open up this poetic form of talking.
Rick Paulas will gladly accept the bad parts of the future, as long as it also includes self-lacing shoes.0 Comments
The Devil first appeared in early Christian iconography as a blue angel assisting Jesus on judgment day separating the goats from the sheep, as described the gospel according to Matthew (25, 31-33):
When the Son of Man shall come in his glory and all the holy angels with him, then...
I'll admit it: I assumed that the Xbox 360 version of Titanfall would be hot garbage, especially once we found out that Respawn—the studio behind the PC and Xbox One versions—hadn't actually made it.
As if three movie villains weren't enough, Electro and the Green Goblin are are joined by the ugliest Kingpin ever, bad-hair-lighting Black Cat and... is that Carnage? Yeah, Parker is screwed.
The opening credits would probably look something like this. We're so excited about the return of Game of Thrones on Sunday, we asked our friend Garrison Dean to imagine what the show would look like if it was a classic 1970s-1980s sitcom. But what he came up with was way more insane than we ever expected.
A sixth grader in North Carolina said she was shocked on Wednesday when a candidate for the 6th Congressional Republican nomination told her that same-sex marriage was like "a man marrying a dog."
Candidates vying to fill a seat that will be vacated by U.S. Rep. Howard Coble (R) met for a forum at Greensboro Montessori School where they were quizzed by students on topics from immigration to gun rights.
Sixth-grader Lana Torres explained that she supported marriage equality, and asked Rockingham County District Attorney Phil Berger Jr. what he would do ensure equal rights for LGBT people.
“Two years ago, the voters of North Carolina overwhelming approved Amendment One, which only recognized traditional marriage, and I was a leader in that effort,” Berger replied, according to the Greensboro News & Record. “I was the spokesperson for traditional marriage in North Carolina, and I am very much in favor of traditional marriage.”
Torres told the paper that she pressed Berger following the conclusion of the forum.
“He talked about a man marrying a dog,” the student recalled. “I found that really offensive, that he would compare gay marriage to something so offensive and outrageous.”
However, Berger wasn't the only candidate with views outside the mainstream.
prettttty great supercut
If you're watching a movie and the main character takes a whole scene to get ready, there's a pretty good chance that shit just got real. Here's almost 100 characters getting ready for their Big Moment.
Realtor.com recently released rankings of the ten best metro areas for first-time homebuyers. Considering its 35 most popular markets, they looked at median home price, days on market, inventory levels, and unemployment rates. Topping the list is Pittsburgh, followed by Tampa-St. Petersburg-Clearwater, Florida and the New Jersey metro area of Philadelphia.
Built over five months in Minecraft, "Atropos" is a steampunk tortoise with an ornate city on its back. Watch video and download it below: