Submitted by: (via CoolAsACucumber)
Wonderalla: Technically a superhero!
Today, I had the cops called on me for acting suspiciously. I was using a payphone. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I made love. She stared at her One Direction poster the whole time. FML
Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML
Today, I would like to thank the program designer that put "Set as home page" directly under "Remove from history". FML
Today, my boss found out that my girlfriend dumped me. He asked if that meant she would no longer bring her delicious homemade cookies to the office. When I said yes, he fired me on the spot. FML