pileofcrapola

No one expects a gourmet experience from a frozen lasagna, but reader Rodney did expect his Michelina Lean Gourmet five-cheese lasagna entree to at least sort of resemble lasagna. It did not.

“Does this look like lasagna?” he wrote. “As you can see, the sauce doesn’t even
cover the top, and there’s barely any cheese on it.”

That is a sad, dry little pasta meal. The good news is that while Rodney decries the entrée as “false advertising,” he says that it tasted “all right.” Not a ringing endorsement, but it could be worse.

Take it away, Jesse Pinkman:

Either Coca-Cola is crazy like a fox or just the kind of crazy that means showing people exactly how long they’ll have to exercise in order to work off the calories in a 16-ounce can of Coke. Speficically, its new campaign points out that it takes the average person 23 minutes of cycling to “pay” for those 140 calories, at which point a Rube Goldeberg-esque device will deliver the goods.

“What if there were a new, fun way to pay for a Coke? And what if you could do it with your energy?” Coke asks in the description for its new promotional campaign.

The video explains how a Coke used to cost 5 cents — “but what if a 12-oz Coke cost 10 calories?”A Coke used to cost 5 cents.

Cut to scenes of rapid cycling, excited onlookers pointing at things and a dog barking, with a countdown clock running on each cyclist to see exactly how long it takes them to earn that drink.

Yes, because people who want to drink a soda want to work up a sweat first, and wash down all that hard work with a nice, sweet soda…?

The message is a little bit confusing — biking for 23 minutes is no picnic, and could dissuade some customers from drinking a Coke now that they’ve seen the workout evidence, says one expert.

“They’re showing exactly why you wouldn’t want to drink a Coke. Twenty-three minutes on a bike is not fun for most people,” the president of one brand consulting firm tells the Associated Press.

A Coca-Cola spokeswoman explains that this video — which will be promoted on social media but not on TV — is meant to show “moments of delight and surprise” with Coke, and to address the theme of energy balance in a lighthearted way.

Similar ads were banned in the UK last summer, but it seems Coke was willing to take another stab at it.

Coke ad: It takes 23 minutes to burn off a soda [Associated Press]

The Olive Garden has its Tuscan culinary school that really exists, but do other companies have special training resorts for their employees? If you’re an aspiring UPS driver, you can attend the company’s training boot camp in Maryland, where they learn everything from the “friendly honk” to why they should never turn left.

This boot camp is totally real, and the Wall Street Journal visited it recently. The training really is like a boot camp, where recruits must be flawlessly uniformed and run constant drills. Sure, there are normal things that drivers need to learn, like how to operate the handheld computers how to drive a big brown truck, but tiny details are important too. Like the most efficient ways to handle deliveries, and even the best and safest way to get in and out of the truck.

Yes, safest. Safety is extremely important for UPS, and they encourage staff to drive as conservatively as their own great-grandmothers. Drivers with perfect no-accident records get special status within UPS, even receiving special jackets and arm patches after achieving 25 accident-free years.

Insider ‘Quaker Boot Camp,’ Where UPS Drivers Learn Their Craft [Wall Street Journal]

FURTHER READING, UM, LISTENING:
The Future Of Work Looks Like A UPS Truck [Planet Money]

The crackle, the smell, the promise of bacon — it sends you into a tizzy, an unforgiving droolfest of epic proportions. But mushrooms? Get that out of here, it might as well be poison. Why do we love and hate the foods we do? It could be partly genetic, a group of researchers says in a new series of studies on the topic of nutrigenetics.

Scientists took a look at the genetic basis of food cravings to see which preferences could possibly be part of our genetic code, reports Discover Magazine’s blog.

Specifically, researchers came up with 17 genes they say are related to liking specific foods incuding bacon, coffee, broccoli, mushrooms, dark chocolate and more. Other studies also showed genes that could be linked to salt perception and metabolizing various kinds of food.

Nutrigenetic scientists are focused on understanding what role our genes play in what food we choose to eat, and how our bodies process those foods. The idea being that the better we understand how all those factors come together, the better individuals could possibly tailor their diets to their personal preferences.

Studying more than 4,000 subjects from around the world — with about 2,300 of those participants coming from Italy and the rest from other European countries and Central Asia — researchers asked how much those people liked 42 different foods.

From that they were able to winnow it down to a list of 17 genes that showed significant associations with food preferences. Some foods had more than one gene connected to that preference, like artichokes, which have three genes linked to liking them, and broccoli with two.

But because none of those genes are associated with taste or smell receptors, scientists still aren’t sure exactly why those genes affect our choices the way they do.

So the next time someone tries to tell you your love of bacon can be changed, just let them know it’s an unalterable result of your genetic makeup and that’s that. Nothing can separate you now. Nothing.

Our Tastes For Certain Foods May Be Written in Our Genes [Discover]

Playskool makes a wide variety of fun and adorable products, but they don’t make a 9mm Lugar pistol. Yet a Target employee found a loaded gun sitting out in the toy department last Friday, and want the public’s help to find a man who was in the toy department acting in a suspicious manner around the time that the gun was left behind.

“I don’t think someone would accidentally drop off a gun. I think he purposely left it there for a child to pick up,” one shopper told TV station WMBF.

A local firearms instructor pointed out that this incident shows why children should be instructed in the basics of gun safety early on: namely, that if they see a gun sitting out, they should not touch it, leave the area, and tell an adult.

At the Myrtle Beach Target store, a loss prevention officer spotted the gun, not a child. He reportedly thought it was a toy until he noticed that it was loaded.

In a statement to the TV station, a Target spokesperson said:

The safety and security of our team members and guests is a top priority for Target. We take these matters very seriously and we are partnering with local law enforcement on this incident. Because this matter is under active investigation, we are unable to share additional information.

The subject of Target and guns has been in the news this week in another part of the country, as the retailer has been part of a conflict between groups that are for and that are against the normalization of adults openly carrying firearms, including rifles, in public. Tens of thousands of people have signed online petitions asking Target to ban guns from their stores, following similar controversies at Chipotle and Starbucks. It’s worth noting that the incident in Myrtle Beach happened last week, before these petitions made national news.

The leadership of Open Carry Texas, one of the groups behind the demonstrations, says that it asked members to stop carrying long firearms into retail establishments like Target and Walmart. The sight of a person with a large rifle in the baby section of Target is “distracting from [their] mission,” the group’s president said yesterday.

Police ask public’s help to identify man related to gun found in Target toy aisle [WBMF]

When you need to relieve pain after a surgery and can’t walk around tethered to a heating pad all day, a small portable handwarmer is a suitable substitute…isn’t it? One woman thought so. According to court documents, she nestled them between her shirt and skin after reconstructive breast surgery. From the mention of “court documents,” you can probably guess how this ended.

Heatmax hand warmers advertise “safe, natural heat” on the box. What the woman’s complaint claims the box doesn’t contain is a warning that it can cause chemical burns if placed close to the skin for long periods.

Not next to the skin: close to the skin. She placed the packs between her shirt and bra for pain relief. Hours later, she noticed that the pain was getting worse instead of better. That was because the who heat packs had caused two large burns in the skin on her breasts.

She had four contact burns in the spots where she had placed the heat packs: two in each breast. Her surgeon certified that the wounds were burns, not an after-effect of her surgery or any kind of infection.

Now she’s suing Walmart and the heat pack’s manufacturer, claiming that the packs can be more harmful than the packaging makes them appear. If a consumer wants to learn that Heatmax packs shouldn’t make direct contact with the skin, the plaintiff’s initial complaint claims, they have to visit an internal page on the product’s website. There is allegedly no such warning on the package.

Said product’s harmful characteristics and consequences outweigh the benefits of its design, specifically its regularly heating to temperatures sufficient to cause second and third degree burns, when it is only sold as a product providing comforting warmth.

The suit accuses both companies of negligent design, negligent instruction, and makes strict liability claims.

Complaint [PDF Download] (via Breaking News USA – thanks, Mindy!)

Bring PBS your piles of old buttons, your post-colonial mid-modern anti-establishment furniture (which could totally be a thing) and all the faded baseball cards you want. But Antiques Roadshow wants nothing to do with any ivory tusks, and will not perform any more appraisals of those items, the show announced this week.

Ivory has long been a contentious item, especially when it’s still in elephant tusk form, and as such, PBS says the show won’t show any tusks in new episodes or in segments it uses from older shows, reports the Associated Press.

The Wildlife Conservation Society sees this as a big win for elephants, saying the decision to ensure ivory tusks and their “assumed monetary value” aren’t glorified on TV.

lauded the decision as an important step in ensuring elephant ivory tusks and their “assumed monetary value” are not glorified on TV.

But if you’ve got other items that happen to include bits of ivory, like a piano or decorative objects, those will still be appraised on the show in an attempt to inform viewers about ivory and “the larger issues at hand.”

PBS: Ivory Tusks Are off ‘Antiques Roadshow’ [Associated Press]

NBC4 Washington

Manassas Man Arrested, Charged with Distribution of Child Pornography NBC4 Washington "Operation Broken Heart," the coordinated effort of thousands of federal, state and local law enforcement officers against child predators, has led to the arrest of another person on child porn charges. Shea B. Britman, 35, of Manassas, was arrested ... and more »

Teens Shot with BB Gun, Manassas Man Faces Charges PotomacLocal.com MANASSAS, Va. – A 14-year-old student on his way to Metz Middle School in Manassas was shot in the stomach. Police say it happened Wednesday as the child was on his way to school. Here's the police press release: On June 4, 2014 Manassas City ... and more »

Arrest made after stranger approaches, shoots Manassas students with BB gun Leesburg Today Police say an arrest has been made after a man followed a Metz Middle School student in Manassas on his way to school Wednesday morning and shot him with a BB gun. It is the second such incident in recent weeks. The Manassas City Police Department ... and more »

Fairfax County Animal Watch Washington Post FAIRFAX COUNTY. No incidents were reported by the Animal Control Division of the Fairfax County Police Department. For information, call 703-246-2253. A colorful deep space image captured by the Hubble Space Telescope is seen in a NASA ... and more »

The bridge carrying the Interstate 495 bypass over the Christina River in Wilmington has been closed since Monday because four huge support columns are tilting, leading to ongoing traffic problems on I-95, the critical north-south artery that goes through the city's downtown. Here's what we know and don't know about the bridge closure.

Police in suburban Phoenix have arrested a married couple on suspicion of child abuse, accusing them of severely malnourishing two adopted daughters and forcing them to sleep in a backyard tent either nude or only in a diaper.

That feel-good moment in the Rose Garden seems like a long time ago. Just a week after the president announced that Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl had been freed in Afghanistan, details emerging about the soldier, the deal and how the rescue came together are only adding to the list of questions.

U.S. railroads forced to turn over details of their volatile crude oil shipments are asking states to sign agreements not to disclose the information. But some states are refusing, saying Thursday that the information shouldn't be kept from the public.

A federal board investigation into the 2010 BP oil spill concludes that a last-ditch safety device on the underwater well had multiple failures, wasn't tested properly and still poses a risk for many rigs drilling today.

A man believed to have stabbed a 6-year-old boy to death and critically injured a 7-year-old girl in a knife attack in a public housing building elevator that didn't have security cameras was arrested Wednesday just minutes after the mayor and the police commissioner publicly identified him and appealed for help catching him, police said.

The Navy says a sailor stabbed in an attack on a Virginia base is now listed in good condition.

License-free fishing is allowed this weekend in Virginia.

If your kid has a summer job, how can you, as a parent, give them the tools to save some of what they make?

Rob Miller, who owns the ciderworks with his wife, Patty Power, welcomes students to their 95-acre farm by saying, "We're basically going to take you through the A's to Z's of cider making."

Two animal welfare organizations in the Richmond area are offering a reward for information leading to the arrest of a cat burglar.

When it comes to cute-cat videos, this pair of two-month-old kittens takes the crown -- and you can take them home.

Tobacco sales on Navy ships and in stores on Navy and Marine Corps bases would be a thing of the past under a plan being considered by Navy Secretary Ray Mabus, but some congressional members are pushing back.

A Fairfax County Public Schools teacher was arrested Thursday for soliciting a minor.

Two police officers from Herndon, Virginia drove to Connecticut Wednesday to return signs stolen from playgrounds built to honor two victims of the massacre at the Sandy Hook Elementary school.

Howard Bailey joined the U.S. Navy straight out of high school in Brooklyn figuring he would see the world. He didn't expect to end up back in his native Jamaica, raising pigs and barely getting by in the poor village of his childhood.

The hole that appeared on Eastbound Route 50 in Anne Arundel County late this afternoon was caused by the collapse of a pipe under the road.

A state official says a CSX inspection found a defect in a railroad track the day before an oil train derailed in Lynchburg.