Shared posts

05 Sep 13:23

#PresidentTrump #SimpsonsDidIt http://ift.tt/2bPQuN5



#PresidentTrump #SimpsonsDidIt http://ift.tt/2bPQuN5

05 Sep 13:23

@someecards http://ift.tt/2bPRQaR



@someecards http://ift.tt/2bPRQaR

04 Sep 12:22

Flower Power.

I fear not death. Death fears me.
04 Sep 12:22

Photo



03 Sep 13:54

David Brin

"It is said that power corrupts, but actually it's more true that power attracts the corruptible. The sane are usually attracted by other things than power."

03 Sep 12:17

Carl Sagan

"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe."

03 Sep 12:17

What if Pokemon Grew Rather Than Evolved?

What if Pokemon Grew Rather Than Evolved?

 

In-Progress Pokemon explores how Pokemon might look if they physically transitioned from one evolutionary stage to another and the results are really neat! Here are some of our favs, be sure to check out their page for tons more!

What if Pokemon Grew Rather Than Evolved?

What if Pokemon Grew Rather Than Evolved?

What if Pokemon Grew Rather Than Evolved?

What if Pokemon Grew Rather Than Evolved?

What if Pokemon Grew Rather Than Evolved?

What if Pokemon Grew Rather Than Evolved?

What if Pokemon Grew Rather Than Evolved?

What if Pokemon Grew Rather Than Evolved?

What if Pokemon Grew Rather Than Evolved?

What if Pokemon Grew Rather Than Evolved?

What if Pokemon Grew Rather Than Evolved?

What if Pokemon Grew Rather Than Evolved?

What if Pokemon Grew Rather Than Evolved?

What if Pokemon Grew Rather Than Evolved?

By: In-Progress Pokemon

(via: Nerdist)

Follow us on:
 

September 02 2016
02 Sep 17:44

Snorlax Hoodie

by elssah12
Dan Jones

I'd really like this, if it weren't so expensive.

snorlax-hoodie-suatmm

Pokemon Snorlax Hoodie – Perfect for throwing on and taking a 3 day nap. snorlax-hoodie-2-etsy

02 Sep 17:44

Happy 8th Birthday, Google Chrome!

by Joey-Elijah Sneddon
small cake, big browser

small cake, big browser

Eight years ago today, on September 2, 2008, Google Chrome was officially¹ introduced to the world.

The aim was simple: improve the web browsing experience and ‘help drive innovation on the web’ forward.

Eight years on and I reckon that it’s more than lived up to its mission statement.

Google Chrome is now the world’s most popular web browser, with a smidgen under 54% of the desktop browser market¹ — almost double the marketshare of its nearest rival, Internet Explorer on 28%.

‘Chrome is much more than ‘just’ another web browser.’

On mobile the browser has a similar market share.

On an occasion like this it’s important to remember that Chrome is much more than ‘just’ another web browser.

Through Chromium, the open-source framework underpinning the browser, Google has used Chrome to incubate and promote new and emerging web technologies, web features and web standards.

Today the browser is doubling down on efforts to go back to basics and to move the burden of many of the web technologies it’s championed out of its codebase and onto the wider web.

Google Chrome 8 years ago:

first version of google chrome on windows

Google Chrome 8 years on:

Screen Shot 2016-09-02 at 10.59.59

¹Although news of Google Chrome leaked on September 1, 2008.
Google made its announcement, and released a version for testing, on September 2, 2008.

The article Happy 8th Birthday, Google Chrome! was first published on OMG! Chrome!

02 Sep 17:43

Pearls Before Swine: Friday, September 02, 2016

Pearls Before Swine
02 Sep 14:01

TBT



TBT

02 Sep 13:54

Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey (1991) PG [Movie]

by instantwatcher.com
Dan Jones

Now on Netflix!

This comic sequel finds Bill and Ted entering the Battle of the Bands to save the future -- and heavy metal -- while fending off a dastardly tyrant.

02 Sep 13:49

Playing Online

Playing Online There's a bonus panel, for this comic, right over here.



See more: Playing Online
02 Sep 13:47

Apple Is Going to Remove Abandoned Apps From the App Store

by John Gruber

Romain Dillet, reporting for TechCrunch:

In addition to search ads and extensions in many different apps in iOS 10, Apple plans to remove all these useless apps that clutter the App Store search pages.

And Apple is not going to stop at abandoned apps. The company will also fight spammy app names. For instance, if you search for “Instagram” on the App Store, one of the first results is an app that is called “[app name] Photo Collage, Picture Editor, Pic Grid, F…” and then it gets cut off.

Better late than never, but this is how I expected Apple to manage the App Store all along.

01 Sep 17:03

Text Replacement prank backfires

by Dan Jones
01 Sep 12:30

Robot: WHY WOULD YOU MAKE SUCH A FLAWED CREATION?BTW, didja know...



Robot: WHY WOULD YOU MAKE SUCH A FLAWED CREATION?

BTW, didja know you can follow along on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Tapastic? It’s all true.

31 Aug 19:16

Food Planning

by Justin Boyd

Food Planning

I don’t know about you, but the moment I start eating a pizza, I remove it from the box and place it onto my torso. Cheese out, of course.



bonus panel
31 Aug 16:44

Number of Computers

They try to pad their numbers in the annual reports by counting Galileo's redundant systems as multiple computers, but they're falling behind badly either way.
31 Aug 16:44

Pokémonstrosity

Pokémonstrosity This comic is actually the second is a series of comics, from Haters, entitled Oak and Gary. It's Pokémon meets Rick and Morty with an original Game Boy color palette. Definitely worth checking out.



See more: Pokémonstrosity
31 Aug 16:44

Junk Food Clothing Has Been Taken Over By ’90s Nickelodeon

by Sean Fallon

nick top

Nostalgia is IN right now. If you were a ’90s kid, a new capsule collection from Junk Food Clothing will definitely bring back some fond memories. From the press release:

The original vintage t-shirt company, Junk Food Clothing will host The ’90s Nickelodeon Takeover at its flagship store on Abbot Kinney beginning Tuesday, Aug. 30, with a themed capsule collection and special activations to celebrate some of the most-loved Nick characters and series from the decade. the collection, which retails from $28 – 48, includes fan favorite shows like Rugrats, All That, Clarissa Explains It All, Rocko’s Modern Life, Double Dare, Salute Your Shorts and Good Burger. The t-shirt line will be available both online at www.junkfoodclothing.com and at the Junk Food Clothing flagship.

The ’90s Nickelodeon experience will extend beyond the t-shirts to include two iconic symbols of the network. Both the interior and exterior of the Junk Food Clothing flagship store will get the “SLIME” treatment with Nickelodeon’s signature green goo dripping from the ceilings and splattered on the floors.

Check out some of the pieces from the collection below.

jf-NI099-5772-0

jf-NI225-5528-0

jf-NI338-5758-0

jf-NI372-5758-0

jf-NI480-5440-0

jf-NI483-5440-0

jf-NI054-7730-0

jf-NI082-7730-0

jf-NI394-7730-0

jf-NI445-7730-0

jf-NI478-7730-0

jf-NI490-7730-0

jf-NI495-7730-0

jf-NI240-7780K-0

jf-NI325-7730K-0

jf-NI420-7730K-0

jf-NI473-9936K-0

jf-NI486-9988T-0

jf-NI493-7730T-0

The ’90s Nickelodeon Takeover will culminate on Sept. 25, during the annual Abbot Kinney Festival. The festival now in its 32nd year celebrates the exciting culture of Venice with a mile-long stretch of entertainment, food, and shopping from some of the neighborhoods most influential players. There will be a branded Nickelodeon tent outside Junk Food Clothing store that will sell key pieces from the capsule collection. Guests will have the opportunity to fulfill their childhood wishes and recreate their favorite SNICK moments with a photo opportunity on the Big Orange Couch. In addition, in the afternoon, professional illustrators from the Nickelodeon Animation Studio will on hand to create custom artwork featuring ’90s characters for guests in the flagship store.

31 Aug 16:42

While discussing STAR WARS with her friend...

by MRTIM

31 Aug 16:26

popquotery

A Simpsons classic that I just couldn’t resist when I saw this painting. Julius LeBlanc Stewart "A Toast” 1896. Dialogue: The #Simpsons, "Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment” Season 8 / Episode 18

31 Aug 14:06

Autocorrect Tragedy

by Reza

autocorrect-tragedy

31 Aug 14:06

Keep In Touch

31 Aug 12:29

Facebook Keeps Suggesting A Psychiatrist’s Patients Friend One Another

Dan Jones

Yikes!

Facebook’s ability to figure out the “people we might know” is sometimes eerie. Many a Facebook user has been creeped out when a one-time Tinder date or an ex-boss from 10 years ago suddenly pops up as a friend recommendation. How does the big blue giant know?

While some of these incredibly accurate friend suggestions are amusing, others are alarming, such as this story from Lisa*, a psychiatrist who is an infrequent Facebook user, mostly signing in to RSVP for events. Last summer, she noticed that the social network had started recommending her patients as friends—and she had no idea why.

“I haven’t shared my email or phone contacts with Facebook,” she told me over the phone.

The next week, things got weirder.

Most of her patients are senior citizens or people with serious health or developmental issues, but she has one outlier: a 30-something snowboarder. Usually, Facebook would recommend he friend people his own age, who snowboard and jump out of planes. But Lisa told me that he had started seeing older and infirm people, such as a 70-year-old gentleman with a walker and someone with cerebral palsy.

“He laughed and said, ‘I don’t know any of these people who showed up on my list— I’m guessing they see you,'” recounted Lisa. “He showed me the list of friend recommendations, and I recognized some of my patients.”

She sat there awkwardly and silently. To let him know that his suspicion was correct would violate her duty to protect her patients’ privacy.

Another one of her female patients had a friend recommendation pop up for a fellow patient she recognized from the office’s elevator. Suddenly, she knew the other patient’s full name along with all their Facebook profile information.

“It’s a massive privacy fail,” said Lisa. “I have patients with HIV, people that have attempted suicide and women in coercive and violent relationships.”

Lisa lives in a relatively small town and was alarmed that Facebook was inadvertently outing people with health and psychiatric issues to her network. She’s a tech-savvy person, familiar with VPNs, Tor and computer security practices recommended by the Electronic Frontier Foundation–but she had no idea what was causing it.

She hadn’t friended any of her patients on Facebook, nor looked up their profiles. She didn’t have a guest wifi network at the office that they were all using. After seeing my report that Facebook was using location from people’s smartphones to make friend recommendations, she was convinced this happened because she had logged into Facebook at the office on her personal computer. She thought that Facebook had figured out that she and her patients were all in the same place repeatedly. However, Facebook says it only briefly used location for friend recommendations in a test and that it was just “at the city-level.

I tried to help Lisa figure out what could be causing this and reached out to Facebook about the case. Unfortunately, due to health privacy reasons, Lisa was not able to put me in touch with her patients directly.

When Lisa looked at her Facebook profile, she was surprised to see that she had, at some point, given Facebook her cell phone number. It’s a number that her patients could also have in their phones. Many people don’t realize that if they give Facebook access to their phone contacts, it uses that information to make friend recommendations; so if your ex-boss or your one-time Tinder date or your psychiatrist is a contact in your phone, you might start seeing them pop up in the “People You May Know” list.

That’s my guess as to how this happened. All these patients likely have Lisa’s number in their phones, so an algorithm analyzing this network of phone contacts might reasonably assume all these people are connected. A phone number alone can be quite a revealing bit of information, which is why it’s so significant that WhatsApp is about to share its one billion users’ phone numbers with Facebook, where they too could be used to make friend recommendations (unless you opt out).

A Facebook spokesperson could not confirm this theory. He said the company didn’t have enough information to figure out why patients were recommended to one another as friends.

“People You May Know is based on a variety of factors, including mutual friends, work and education information, networks you’re part of, contacts you’ve imported and many other factors,” said the spokesperson by email. “Without additional information from the people involved, we’re not able to explain why one person was recommended as a friend to another.”

This is totally reasonable, but also frustrating in that it leaves this mystery unsolved.

Lisa’s medical community has started recommending that patients concerned about privacy not log into Facebook or other social media accounts at medical offices, or even leave their phones in their cars during appointments. That’s likely good advice, but it doesn’t stop Facebook from mining their phone numbers.

* To protect her patients’ privacy, Lisa asked we not use her real name.

31 Aug 12:29

Pokemon Eevee & Poke Ball Backpacks

Pokemon Eevee & Poke Ball Backpacks

 

D'aww these Poke backpacks are super cute! There's the Pok?mon Eevee 3D Molded Backpack which evolves into Backpackeon! And the Pok?mon Pok? Ball Backpack that is highly effective!

Pokemon Eevee & Poke Ball Backpacks

Pokemon Eevee & Poke Ball Backpacks

Pokemon Eevee & Poke Ball Backpacks

Pokemon Eevee & Poke Ball Backpacks

Pokemon Eevee & Poke Ball Backpacks

Pokemon Eevee & Poke Ball Backpacks

Pokemon Eevee & Poke Ball Backpacks

Pok?mon Eevee 3D Molded Backpack available here!

Pok?mon Pok? Ball Backpack available here!


Follow us on:
 

August 30 2016
31 Aug 03:30

Faulty arguments

by Dan Jones

The most perfidious way of harming a cause consists of defending it deliberately with faulty arguments.

Friedrich Nietzsche

30 Aug 19:03

The Things You Might Be Doing That Will Force Your IT Department To Spy On You

Ad will collapse in seconds…

August 26, 2016 9:59 a.m.

By Jake Swearingen

Share

Share Share Share Email Print

Photo: Caroline Purser/Getty Images

You know your IT person at work? Next time you see them, say hi. Maybe ask how their day is going. Because that person, should they so choose, could easily read every pretty much everything you’ve ever looked at or your typed into your computer at work. From every catty Slack DM (“lol, please steven tell us again about yr trip to france”) to emails sent from your own personal email account, if you’re doing it on your company’s network, it’s an open book.

“Anything done on company equipment can be seen,” emails Paul, a systems administrator from the Minnesota area. “There is effectively no exception to this. Things that are encrypted can be decrypted and/or intercepted in transit, and there are also keyloggers and screen-capture software.”

That doesn’t just mean your work email account can be sifted through. It means your Google Hangouts, your Slack or HipChat DMs, even your emails sent from your phone (if you’re logged into your company’s Wi-Fi) are all fair game. If you’re on a work machine, keyloggers can be installed and automated screenshot software can be set up to track everything you’re looking at. The main thing protecting you? Network admins and your company probably don’t care what you’re up to.

“While the capability is there and every company threatens their employees with it, there is really very little ‘active’ monitoring,” emails Don, a network administrator in New York State. “They simply do not want to know about it unless they are forced to, because it just costs time and effort to deal with it.”

So, for the most part, you can continue to chat a co-worker about how awful that PowerPoint presentation yesterday really was. But there are several key things that can bring you under the microscope — and once you’re under, there’s not much you can hide.

You can get so lazy that your bosses start to wonder just what the hell you do all day. “I had to set up logging on a developer who was being watched because his productivity and output were very low,” says Paul. “Through captured third-party IM and email traffic, as well as application activity on the person’s computer, it was discovered that he was spending 80 percent of his time doing another job for another company while at his desk in the office of our company. He lost at least one of his jobs that day.”

You can fuck up a system admin’s network. “If a file server I administer suddenly starts filling up, I will find out why,” says Paul. “Often it’s a person saving personal videos or music to the system. Usually this is a video of Junior’s soccer match, but it’s not always that bland. In these cases I’m not trying to call anyone out or get them in any trouble, but my systems have to perform to a standard, and when I find out why they are not a person’s activity might come to light.”

You can be really bad at looking at pornography. “Someone was caught with porn on their computer,” says Don. “They went to IT for another problem, and the IT person was not snooping but the porn was really obvious, like right on the desktop. The co-worker was obligated to report it, and the person was warned. They asked IT again for something, and it was seen again, and the person was fired.”

Or you can be committing actual crimes. “In one case fraud was suspected and employees of a call center were found to be working together to lift one-time-use codes that could be used to get cash from customers’ accounts at locations that accepted our payment method,” says Paul. “They were fairly sneaky about it and the real proof came only through screenshots of both computers while coded messages were sent back and forth and each performed a different task in the scheme. Investigations started after several clients noticed small amounts of money missing and the transactions all happened near our office at about lunchtime.”

Still, the real giveaway is often just your behavior on the job — and not necessarily what you’re doing online. “The main reason I get involved is when there is already a suspicion that something is happening,” says Paul. “This most often comes from non-technical sources such as attitude or personality.”

And sometimes even the watchers end up getting watched. “I was once monitored myself and was brought into my boss’s office because I was the No. 1 user of IM for a few months in a row,” says Paul. “This was ten years ago, when IM wasn’t as widely used. I had to sit with the boss while he read nearly every IM conversation and answer questions about why they were sent. Ninety percent of them were work-related and the other 10 percent were things like my wife asking me to pick up milk on the way home. It was really only an annoyance, but it’s an illustration of how to get noticed.”

But say you really, really need to vent to a co-worker about how your boss is the fucking worst. How can you make sure that information is never seen? “If you are truly concerned about being monitored,” says Don, “the solution is to use your personal equipment. Use your personal phone (not on the corporate Wi-Fi) to message the person you want to tell on their personal phone (again, not on the corporate Wi-Fi).”

Paul agrees. “If using your own device off the company network there isn’t an easy, legal way to track your usage without subpoenas.” So if you’re the paranoid sort and feel the need to really let loose without the eyes of your corporate overlords watching over you, keep your phone nearby, load up on a hefty data plan, and stay away from the company Wi-Fi. (Also? Maybe start looking for a new job, because the one you have sounds like it kinda bites.)

Still, there are some odd ducks out there, right? What if the IT person just wants to get their jollies by seeing what you’re up to at work? “I have never done this for fun,” says Paul. “I know people who have and some of those people were themselves monitored because of the activity, which became a bit of a comedic circle of surveillance.”

In the end, if you work at any company large enough to hire a systems administrator, everything you do can be spied on. The best protection you have? You’re pretty dull. “I don’t [monitor random people] because it’s against policy and immoral, but mainly because it’s just not interesting to me,” says Paul. “People tend to be pretty boring most of the time.”

Tags:

SecurityPrivacyDon't Leave Porn on Your Desktop Idiot Share on Facebook

Top Stories

Some Depraved Genius Turned the Eggplant Emoji Into a Sex ToyEditors Will No Longer Write Facebook’s Trending TopicsTurns Out Excel Is Such a Goat Rodeo It’s Screwing With Genetic Research

Most Viewed Stories

The Things You Might Be Doing That Will Force Your IT Guy to Start Spying on You

The Dramatic Saga of a YouTube Couple’s Escape From Chicago Has Turned the Entire City Against Them

Did I Kill Gawker?

This High-Schooler Flawlessly Re-created Her Kindergarten School Picture for Senior Year

The Snapchat 101: The Best, Coolest, Smartest, Weirdest Accounts on the Hottest Social Network on Your Phone

Latest News from Select All

8/26/2016 at 5:54 p.m. Some Depraved Genius Turned the Eggplant Emoji Into a Sex Toy

It’s called the Emojibator. In case you didn’t already get the joke.

8/26/2016 at 5:46 p.m. Editors Will No Longer Write Facebook’s Trending Topics

But they’re still involved in curating stories.

8/26/2016 at 4:52 p.m. Turns Out Excel Is Such a Goat Rodeo It’s Screwing With Genetic Research

Autocorrect strikes again.

8/26/2016 at 3:55 p.m. Nothing to See Here But a Kid Getting Trapped Between Two Cows

Moooooove.

8/26/2016 at 3:35 p.m. Twitter Is Working on a Keyword Filter

A useful harassment-prevention tool is reportedly in the works.

8/26/2016 at 3:02 p.m. Blank Windows Is the Platonic Ideal of Office Work

Windows all the way down.

8/26/2016 at 11:36 a.m. Picasso Baby Is the Greatest Internet Artist You’ve Never Heard Of

“I think if Picasso was alive today, I would still have more Twitter followers.”

8/26/2016 at 10:30 a.m. Man Tries to Destroy the Internet to Prevent People From Seeing Him Square-Dance

He did not succeed.

8/26/2016 at 9:59 a.m. The Things You Might Be Doing That Will Force Your IT Guy to Start Spying on You

Almost everything you do at work can be monitored — but unless you’re doing something really idiotic, your IT department doesn’t want to spy on you.

8/26/2016 at 9:27 a.m. This Terrifying Robot-Snake Surgeon Could Save Your Life Some Day

Say ah!

8/25/2016 at 4:40 p.m. Take a Walking Tour of the Escape Route That YouTube Couple Took Out of Chicago

Relive the drama and also grab some Chipotle.

8/25/2016 at 4:12 p.m. This Robot Is Ready to Give You the Tattoo of the Future Wherever You Want It

It also won’t judge you.

8/25/2016 at 3:33 p.m. Despite Having Just One Friend, Kevin Is Pumped About 4th Grade

This kid is going places. Namely, the fourth grade. And then the fifth grade. And then college.

8/25/2016 at 3:15 p.m. There’s Now an App That Summons a Professional Cuddler to Cure Your Loneliness

But wait until you hear what it costs.

8/25/2016 at 3:03 p.m. The Dumb Bus Is Possibly a Huge Scam?

Another strike against the dumb bus, which is a train.

8/25/2016 at 2:50 p.m. The Rise of Video Is Making 2016 a Weird Year to Be a Digital Publisher

It’s video all the way down.

8/25/2016 at 2:02 p.m. These High School Seniors Immortalized Harambe With Their ID Pictures

Harambe lives on with the class of 2017.

8/25/2016 at 9:56 a.m. Get Ready for Snapplechat: Apple Is Building Its Own Snapchat

The company is reportedly building a stand-alone video-sharing app.

8/25/2016 at 9:43 a.m. WhatsApp Will Start Sharing Your Data With Facebook

When it was purchased three years ago, WhatsApp assured users that “nothing” would change.

8/25/2016 at 9:05 a.m. The Best Photo-Editing Apps to Document the End of Summer

There’s one last good trip to the beach left. Make the most of it with these photo-editing apps.

Newsletters Facebook Instagram Feedly Privacy Terms Sitemap Media Kit Ad Choices About Us Contacts Feedback We’re Hiring! © 2016, New York Media LLC. View all trademarks

Social Account

or

Sign up with a social account:

Don’t worry. We will never post to your social media account without your permission.

or create an account

We’ve sent a registration confirmation email to .

Please follow the instructions in the email within 48 hours to complete your registration.

Forgot Your Password?

Enter your email address or username and we’ll email instructions on how to reset your password.

This username or email is associated with a Facebook account.

Log in with your social account:

Check Your Inbox

We’ve sent you an email with instructions on how to reset your password.

Choose a Username

Your username will appear next to your comments.

You already have an account registered under . You can link your Facebook account to your existing account.

No, Sign In

Welcome! You are now a registered user of NYMag.com, TheCut.com, Vulture.com, ScienceOfUs.com and GrubStreet.com.

Want more? Subscribe to our daily newsletters.

No Thanks

We're sorry. You must confirm your registration within 48 hours of submitting your registration request. Please register again.

You are already registered. Please log in.

Reset Your Password

Enter a new password

Your password has been successfully changed.

Please log in.

Ad will collapse in seconds…

August 26, 2016 9:59 a.m.

By Jake Swearingen

Share

Share Share Share Email Print

Photo: Caroline Purser/Getty Images

You know your IT person at work? Next time you see them, say hi. Maybe ask how their day is going. Because that person, should they so choose, could easily read every pretty much everything you’ve ever looked at or your typed into your computer at work. From every catty Slack DM (“lol, please steven tell us again about yr trip to france”) to emails sent from your own personal email account, if you’re doing it on your company’s network, it’s an open book.

“Anything done on company equipment can be seen,” emails Paul, a systems administrator from the Minnesota area. “There is effectively no exception to this. Things that are encrypted can be decrypted and/or intercepted in transit, and there are also keyloggers and screen-capture software.”

That doesn’t just mean your work email account can be sifted through. It means your Google Hangouts, your Slack or HipChat DMs, even your emails sent from your phone (if you’re logged into your company’s Wi-Fi) are all fair game. If you’re on a work machine, keyloggers can be installed and automated screenshot software can be set up to track everything you’re looking at. The main thing protecting you? Network admins and your company probably don’t care what you’re up to.

“While the capability is there and every company threatens their employees with it, there is really very little ‘active’ monitoring,” emails Don, a network administrator in New York State. “They simply do not want to know about it unless they are forced to, because it just costs time and effort to deal with it.”

So, for the most part, you can continue to chat a co-worker about how awful that PowerPoint presentation yesterday really was. But there are several key things that can bring you under the microscope — and once you’re under, there’s not much you can hide.

You can get so lazy that your bosses start to wonder just what the hell you do all day. “I had to set up logging on a developer who was being watched because his productivity and output were very low,” says Paul. “Through captured third-party IM and email traffic, as well as application activity on the person’s computer, it was discovered that he was spending 80 percent of his time doing another job for another company while at his desk in the office of our company. He lost at least one of his jobs that day.”

You can fuck up a system admin’s network. “If a file server I administer suddenly starts filling up, I will find out why,” says Paul. “Often it’s a person saving personal videos or music to the system. Usually this is a video of Junior’s soccer match, but it’s not always that bland. In these cases I’m not trying to call anyone out or get them in any trouble, but my systems have to perform to a standard, and when I find out why they are not a person’s activity might come to light.”

You can be really bad at looking at pornography. “Someone was caught with porn on their computer,” says Don. “They went to IT for another problem, and the IT person was not snooping but the porn was really obvious, like right on the desktop. The co-worker was obligated to report it, and the person was warned. They asked IT again for something, and it was seen again, and the person was fired.”

Or you can be committing actual crimes. “In one case fraud was suspected and employees of a call center were found to be working together to lift one-time-use codes that could be used to get cash from customers’ accounts at locations that accepted our payment method,” says Paul. “They were fairly sneaky about it and the real proof came only through screenshots of both computers while coded messages were sent back and forth and each performed a different task in the scheme. Investigations started after several clients noticed small amounts of money missing and the transactions all happened near our office at about lunchtime.”

Still, the real giveaway is often just your behavior on the job — and not necessarily what you’re doing online. “The main reason I get involved is when there is already a suspicion that something is happening,” says Paul. “This most often comes from non-technical sources such as attitude or personality.”

And sometimes even the watchers end up getting watched. “I was once monitored myself and was brought into my boss’s office because I was the No. 1 user of IM for a few months in a row,” says Paul. “This was ten years ago, when IM wasn’t as widely used. I had to sit with the boss while he read nearly every IM conversation and answer questions about why they were sent. Ninety percent of them were work-related and the other 10 percent were things like my wife asking me to pick up milk on the way home. It was really only an annoyance, but it’s an illustration of how to get noticed.”

But say you really, really need to vent to a co-worker about how your boss is the fucking worst. How can you make sure that information is never seen? “If you are truly concerned about being monitored,” says Don, “the solution is to use your personal equipment. Use your personal phone (not on the corporate Wi-Fi) to message the person you want to tell on their personal phone (again, not on the corporate Wi-Fi).”

Paul agrees. “If using your own device off the company network there isn’t an easy, legal way to track your usage without subpoenas.” So if you’re the paranoid sort and feel the need to really let loose without the eyes of your corporate overlords watching over you, keep your phone nearby, load up on a hefty data plan, and stay away from the company Wi-Fi. (Also? Maybe start looking for a new job, because the one you have sounds like it kinda bites.)

Still, there are some odd ducks out there, right? What if the IT person just wants to get their jollies by seeing what you’re up to at work? “I have never done this for fun,” says Paul. “I know people who have and some of those people were themselves monitored because of the activity, which became a bit of a comedic circle of surveillance.”

In the end, if you work at any company large enough to hire a systems administrator, everything you do can be spied on. The best protection you have? You’re pretty dull. “I don’t [monitor random people] because it’s against policy and immoral, but mainly because it’s just not interesting to me,” says Paul. “People tend to be pretty boring most of the time.”

Tags:

SecurityPrivacyDon't Leave Porn on Your Desktop Idiot Share on Facebook

Top Stories

Some Depraved Genius Turned the Eggplant Emoji Into a Sex ToyEditors Will No Longer Write Facebook’s Trending TopicsTurns Out Excel Is Such a Goat Rodeo It’s Screwing With Genetic Research

Most Viewed Stories

The Things You Might Be Doing That Will Force Your IT Guy to Start Spying on You

The Dramatic Saga of a YouTube Couple’s Escape From Chicago Has Turned the Entire City Against Them

Did I Kill Gawker?

This High-Schooler Flawlessly Re-created Her Kindergarten School Picture for Senior Year

The Snapchat 101: The Best, Coolest, Smartest, Weirdest Accounts on the Hottest Social Network on Your Phone

Latest News from Select All

8/26/2016 at 5:54 p.m. Some Depraved Genius Turned the Eggplant Emoji Into a Sex Toy

It’s called the Emojibator. In case you didn’t already get the joke.

8/26/2016 at 5:46 p.m. Editors Will No Longer Write Facebook’s Trending Topics

But they’re still involved in curating stories.

8/26/2016 at 4:52 p.m. Turns Out Excel Is Such a Goat Rodeo It’s Screwing With Genetic Research

Autocorrect strikes again.

8/26/2016 at 3:55 p.m. Nothing to See Here But a Kid Getting Trapped Between Two Cows

Moooooove.

8/26/2016 at 3:35 p.m. Twitter Is Working on a Keyword Filter

A useful harassment-prevention tool is reportedly in the works.

8/26/2016 at 3:02 p.m. Blank Windows Is the Platonic Ideal of Office Work

Windows all the way down.

8/26/2016 at 11:36 a.m. Picasso Baby Is the Greatest Internet Artist You’ve Never Heard Of

“I think if Picasso was alive today, I would still have more Twitter followers.”

8/26/2016 at 10:30 a.m. Man Tries to Destroy the Internet to Prevent People From Seeing Him Square-Dance

He did not succeed.

8/26/2016 at 9:59 a.m. The Things You Might Be Doing That Will Force Your IT Guy to Start Spying on You

Almost everything you do at work can be monitored — but unless you’re doing something really idiotic, your IT department doesn’t want to spy on you.

8/26/2016 at 9:27 a.m. This Terrifying Robot-Snake Surgeon Could Save Your Life Some Day

Say ah!

8/25/2016 at 4:40 p.m. Take a Walking Tour of the Escape Route That YouTube Couple Took Out of Chicago

Relive the drama and also grab some Chipotle.

8/25/2016 at 4:12 p.m. This Robot Is Ready to Give You the Tattoo of the Future Wherever You Want It

It also won’t judge you.

8/25/2016 at 3:33 p.m. Despite Having Just One Friend, Kevin Is Pumped About 4th Grade

This kid is going places. Namely, the fourth grade. And then the fifth grade. And then college.

8/25/2016 at 3:15 p.m. There’s Now an App That Summons a Professional Cuddler to Cure Your Loneliness

But wait until you hear what it costs.

8/25/2016 at 3:03 p.m. The Dumb Bus Is Possibly a Huge Scam?

Another strike against the dumb bus, which is a train.

8/25/2016 at 2:50 p.m. The Rise of Video Is Making 2016 a Weird Year to Be a Digital Publisher

It’s video all the way down.

8/25/2016 at 2:02 p.m. These High School Seniors Immortalized Harambe With Their ID Pictures

Harambe lives on with the class of 2017.

8/25/2016 at 9:56 a.m. Get Ready for Snapplechat: Apple Is Building Its Own Snapchat

The company is reportedly building a stand-alone video-sharing app.

8/25/2016 at 9:43 a.m. WhatsApp Will Start Sharing Your Data With Facebook

When it was purchased three years ago, WhatsApp assured users that “nothing” would change.

8/25/2016 at 9:05 a.m. The Best Photo-Editing Apps to Document the End of Summer

There’s one last good trip to the beach left. Make the most of it with these photo-editing apps.

Newsletters Facebook Instagram Feedly Privacy Terms Sitemap Media Kit Ad Choices About Us Contacts Feedback We’re Hiring! © 2016, New York Media LLC. View all trademarks

Social Account

or

Sign up with a social account:

Don’t worry. We will never post to your social media account without your permission.

or create an account

We’ve sent a registration confirmation email to .

Please follow the instructions in the email within 48 hours to complete your registration.

Forgot Your Password?

Enter your email address or username and we’ll email instructions on how to reset your password.

This username or email is associated with a Facebook account.

Log in with your social account:

Check Your Inbox

We’ve sent you an email with instructions on how to reset your password.

Choose a Username

Your username will appear next to your comments.

You already have an account registered under . You can link your Facebook account to your existing account.

No, Sign In

Welcome! You are now a registered user of NYMag.com, TheCut.com, Vulture.com, ScienceOfUs.com and GrubStreet.com.

Want more? Subscribe to our daily newsletters.

No Thanks

We're sorry. You must confirm your registration within 48 hours of submitting your registration request. Please register again.

You are already registered. Please log in.

Reset Your Password

Enter a new password

Your password has been successfully changed.

Please log in.

30 Aug 12:25

#1393 – Better (No Comments)

by Chris

#1393 – Better

30 Aug 01:47

Foolish

by Dan Jones

You must not think me necessarily foolish because I am facetious, nor will I consider you necessarily wise because you are grave.

Sydney Smith