firehose

	Courtney shared this story from The ToastThe Toast:
	I was going to dispute Dave Foley's rank, but Mark McKinney is, in fact, #1.

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Every woman fondly remembers the moment she first realized that, like it or not, “the way Kids in the Hall cast members look in drag” was going to be a deep and integral component of her sexual identity. For me it was the summer I turned eleven, and also every day since then, with the occasional Thursday off. Let us now rank the relative attractiveness of several prominent British and Canadian sketch comedians in drag, for we are young and the world is ours.

Please note that this list is entirely complete, and also correct. There is no margin of error. Everything is as it should be.

Unranked. Graham Chapman and John Cleese, Mrs. Premise and Mrs. Conclusion

Awarded no points. They are not trying. These tired, waspish pepperpots are an insult to drag, and they are not even wearing hose.

10. Terry Jones in Finishing Sentences

She’s plain, there are no two ways around it, but there is an animation and a luminous quality to her expression that makes her quietly attractive.

9. Kevin McDonald in Secretaries

The hair and the limp ascot are very of-their-era, but the eyes are lovely.

8. Stephen Fry in Tahitian Kitchen

Alternately soothing and terrifying, compelling yet menacing. You look away, then wish you had not. The kind of face that drifts unbidden across the transom of your lightly buzzing mind in the moments before sleep.

7. Scott Thompson as Francesca Fiore

More vampy than is strictly necessary, but knows what to do with red lipstick and a few simple, stark accessories.

6. Eric Idle in Reenacting Pearl Harbor

A surprisingly seductive wryness. Very nearly enchanting.

5. Hugh Laurie as Blonde Woman

It’s the wig. Hugh Laurie rarely looks this good as a woman, but this particular wig suits him enormously. Her face is wistful and vulnerable in turn, with none of the sharp edges that plagued so many of his other female characters.

4. Bruce McCulloch as Tammy

Like a peach, this one.

3. Dave Foley, anytime

Nothing more needs to be said on this point. Consistent excellence in the field of looking like Isabella Rossellini.

2. Noel Fielding as Vince’s brain receptionist

“They call me the great confuser. Is he a man? Is he a woman? Ooh, I’m not sure I mind.” The hair a bit Far Side-ish, but that’s a minor quibble. Gleefully, unrepentantly tacky, and not a little bit suggestive, either.

1. Mark McKinney in Hotel La Rut

Undeniable.

The post Male Comedians’ Relative Attractiveness in Drag, Ranked appeared first on The Toast.

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Facebook has announced embedded posts, giving users the ability to embed public statuses, photos, videos, hashtags, and other content from Facebook on their website. Users can share, like, or comment on the post in real time, as well as follow or subscribe to a page directly from the embed. The feature is currently available to CNN, Huffington Post, Bleacher Report, PEOPLE, and Mashable, and Facebook promises that embedded posts will be rolling out to more users soon.

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Every tech company, large or small, seems to be playing for world domination. That's okay I guess, if they have any hope of achieving it. But even the biggest most monster-like companies fall down when that's their goal, so what hope do you have? And what kind of adolescent dream is it that you would be the last man standing? What's wrong with playing nice with others?

I mention it because it's one month after RSS was set free by the entity that did actually achieve world domination (only to realize they didn't want it), and I don't see any evidence that any of the vendors are doing anything but thinking about what they can do to better hold on to their users, and perhaps capture the other guys' users. Maybe this is the right thing to do in a stagnant market with no growth possible, but a much better approach, imho, for RSS in 2013, would be to put our heads together and figure out how, quickly, we could make RSS more competitive with its competition -- Twitter and Facebook. Grow the market, as quickly as possible. Strike while the iron is hot. Make hay while the sun shines. Etc.

When you've chosen to be independent, not part of a big world-domination-bound entity, the Amazons, Apples, Googles, Intels, etc. then you have, it seems to me, bet your company on interop. You can't do it all. Your users will want to use your product with other peoples' products. They will appreciate it, if it's well-communicated, that you acted in the interest of their power and freedom, rather than in the interest of owning them.

People have minds. They read the news, they're aware of how tech is letting them down, aligning with the government, using their love of technology to undermine their freedom. Maybe not everyone believes this, but I think if you're seriously paying attention, you do.

So I choose to invest in user freedom. This leads me to interop and independence, not world domination. I want to have fun building hugely powerful communication systems, by working with others.

felipanda:

me

...Houdini.

Or at least, that's the codename the BBC is using. Or at least, that's what I think is what's going on, but I can't confirm it from official sources yet, because fucking bullshit, that's why:

1) An announcement is planned sometime today.
2) That announcement will explain that there is an event happening on Sunday that will unveil the next Doctor.
3) There is an embargo for the announcement of the announcement regarding the event.
4) The embargo is up at midnight tonight, U.K. time

What the fuck is going on here? Why are there embargoes being placed on press releases about announcements for events to announce an actor in a role? Not to actually announce the actor. Just to announce there is an actor. BBC realizes that press releases are for releasing, yes? Is this another example of misplaced focus on the part of production companies, who treat the advertisements for their product with more care, importance, and passion than they do the product itself? "Don't you dare share our trailer! Don't you take pictures of our theater standees! Don't tell people we're going to tell people what person we've cast to play a person!"

If only you gave 1/3rd of a turd about the product itself as opposed to whether people on the internet are sharing your commercials without permission.

Thanks to the internet being the internet, someone at Metro.co.uk accidentally posted the announcement of the announcement before the embargo to announce the announcement of the announcement was up. Fearing vicious British retribution, they yanked the page, and proceeded to the nearest corner, teeth chattering, breath hitching, as their chilled soul curled into the fetal and waited for a right proper flogging.

Thanks to the internet being the internet, Metro's fuckup was screencapped, and the text was copy+pasted. After the jump if you still care.

The wait is almost over for Doctor Who fans, as the identity of the next actor to play the Doctor is to be revealed in a special one-off Doctor Who Live broadcast on BBC One this Sunday August 4 at 7pm.

In front of a live studio audience, host Zoe Ball will unveil and interview the 12th person to play the Time Lord, one of the most coveted roles in British television.

The half hour programme will feature Doctors old and new, companions, special guests and celebrity fans, all taking place against the backdrop of a swirling vortex with Daleks and the TARDIS stationed in the studio.

Earlier in the week the BBC disguised the show in the TV listings, scheduling a fake ‘Celebrity Mastermind’ in the 7.30pm-8pm slot.

Doctor Who Live: The Next Doctor will end months of speculation over who will be taking over from Matt Smith, with Peter Capaldi, Ben Daniels, Ben Whishaw and David Harewood having all been linked with the role, though an unknown actor is perhaps far more likely.

Executive producer Steven Moffat said : ‘The decision is made and the time has come to reveal who’s taking over the TARDIS. For the last of the Time Lords, the clock is striking twelve.’

Moffat and Smith will both give interviews during the show, commenting on the role and what they believe it takes to play the Doctor.

Fans in America will be able to watch the unveiling live via simulcast on BBC America.

Charlotte Moore, Controller BBC One said : ‘BBC One is the home of big live events and this special live show is the perfect way to reveal the identity of the next Doctor and share it with the nation. The Doctor is a truly iconic role and I’m more than excited about the booking.’

Ben Stephenson, Controller of BBC Drama Commissioning meanwhile, revealed how they have been using the codename Houdini for the actor.

He said: ‘We can’t wait to unveil the next Doctor with everyone live on BBC1 on Sunday night. Amongst all the speculation and betting, there has been lots of fun and intrigue at work as we’ve been using the codename Houdini as a decoy! It’s the biggest secret in showbiz, even those working with the new Doctor on other projects at the moment have no idea they are in the presence of the 12th incarnation.’

Rory Kinnear had also been tipped as a possible Doctor, but after insisting that he won’t be joining the show his denial was compounded by his signing up to ITV drama Lucan, which films at the same time.

Currently, bettors in the U.K. (and yes, there is money changing hands over who will be announced) have placed 2:1 odds on actor Peter Capaldi, who is best known as Malcolm Tucker from In the Loop, but played a Roman in a previous episode of Doctor Who, and a government flunky in the Doctor Who spinoff Torchwood: Children of Earth.

I'm still pulling for one of the choices from my previous article, for the only reason anyone wants to be right on the internet: To rub it in everyone else's face.

Plus, I still think Richard Ayoade is the best bet. But I'm obviously not suited for the business of making television, because I'm the kind of idiot who thinks commercials are for watching, not hiding from people.

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Knock loud, I’m home.

Never enough time: What Happens When You Stick Your Head Into a Particle Accelerator:

astrodidact:

Today I found out what happens when you stick your head into a particle accelerator.

Exhibit A: Anatoli Petrovich Bugorski, a Russian scientist who has the distinction of being the only person to ever stick his head in a running particle accelerator….

There is no single word in the English language more objectively radical than "cyberpunk." One could even describe the word as "awesome" or "gnarly" or any number of other terms that really should have died off around the time MTV stopped playing music videos. Cyberpunk may not have been invented in the 1990s, but it's the perfect symbol for the goofy excesses of the decade. At one point, the sort of techno-fetishist fantasy seen in the Shadowrun pen and paper game was the height of geek cool, and the newly released Shadowrun Returns either stands as proof that it is still is, or that we collectively spend far too much time pining for the Clinton administration.

The world of Shadowrun Returns is best described as a hybrid of cyberpunk noir and Tolkien-esque fantasy. Almost every important event takes place in or around the particularly-cool-circa-1994 city of Seattle, and you can expect to see orcs casting spells just as often as you'll spot elves who've traded half of their flesh for cybernetic implants. You play the role of a hardened "shadowrunner" (think: cyberpunk mercenary) who has been hired by a recently deceased friend to track down the people who killed him. For the most part the story follows traditional noir plot points from there on out. You investigate the scene of the crime, track down the victim's sister and uncover a massive conspiracy that wouldn't seem out of place in a Mickey Spillane novel (were it not for the horse-sized, immortal space bugs you periodically encounter).

Continue reading Shadowrun Returns review: Hack the planet

Shadowrun Returns review: Hack the planet originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 01 Aug 2013 15:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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What began Saturday night in Boca Raton, Florida, as a seemingly harmless photo shoot for an upcoming comics convention, quickly turned into a tense confrontation with police. ROBOT 6 has the details.

Two bits of good news today from the Netflix corner of the Internet. One: The long-awaited multiple user function, which lets up to five people on the same account create their own profiles, has started to roll out. And two: Netflix takes their translation really, really seriously, even when the languages in question are Klingon and Vulcan and not, say, Spanish and German.

After a leak that she wrote The Cuckoo's Calling under the pseudonym Robert Galbraith, J.K. Rowling has received damages from the law firm that let the information slip. How did it all go down? Where did the money go? Answers under the cut.

Ice cream, books, and puns? Thank you, Philadelphia-based publisher Quirk Books. Thank you for enriching my life this way. You can head to their website to see what would be in each of these literature-inspired Ben & Jerry's flavors, but I'd like to share the description of War and Peach with you here, because it's my favorite:

"An ambitious, sweeping, and impeccably detailed frozen treat of truly epic proportions, with so many ingredients that you'll forget most of them existed by the time you're halfway through your cone. Not easy to get through without a headache, but if you make it, you can brag about finishing it for the rest of your life."

Check behind the cut for flavors based on Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Oliver Twist, World War Z, and more. (via: Laughing Squid)

First time accepted submitter rjmarvin writes "Digital marketing company FLLU, hired by Samsung to promote SSAC, offered $500 to StackOverflow users to pose 'casual and organic' questions over the next month about the 2013 Challenge. Android developer Delyan Kratunov turned them down, then posted the whole exchange on his blog. Outrage, of course, ensued." Sorry, no bounty on the comments below.

Read more of this story at Slashdot.

This announcement is part of our 2013 Burger Week (Aug 5-11), where we (and generous sponsors Nicky USA and Widmer Brewing) team with local restaurants and vendors to bring you $5 gourmet hamburgers!

Kevin Sandri, who made his name in Portland with the beloved and lamented Garden State cart, and then went on to help start Lardo’s brick-and-mortar, finally has his own restaurant in the Alberta Street Pub. His signature sense of heft and attention to detail has resulted in an elk burger dressed to the nines with earthy chanterelle mayonnaise, pickled cherries (flavorful game and tart cherries, a timeless pairing), a powerful Rogue Smokey Blue cheese sauce, caramelized onions, and arugula on a Fleur de Lis brioche bun. Never tried elk? It makes me think of what beef might have tasted like before factory farming: robust, but nowhere near as strong as, say, lamb, and not the least bit gamy. Paired with these assertive flavors, it gets your pleasure center firing on all cylinders.

The fully-gutted and restored Alberta Street Pub rings true as a cozy, sturdy drinking room that will outlast us all, and the tremendous patio (both covered and open, paved and gravel) can seat dozens more. Live music is regularly featured in the brand-new concert hall that makes up (an acoustically separate) half of the restaurant.

Alberta Street Pub
1036 NE Alberta
3pm-2am daily

Portland Mercury Burger Week on Facebook

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Once in a great while, the world's citizens are privileged to experience a television event so extraordinary, it becomes part of our shared heritage. In 1969, man walked on the moon. In 1971, man walked on the moon again. Then, for a long time, nothing happened. Until this Sunday.

At 7pm UK time (2pm EDT, 11am PDT), the BBC plans to trigger a worldwide nerdgasm of catastrophic proportions when it announces the identity of the twelfth actor to play Doctor Who.

Outgoing Doctor Matt Smith and showrunner Steven Moffat will join host Zoe Ball to announce the long-awaited identity of Smith's replacement, rumored to be Russell Tovey, Ben Whishaw, Rupert Grint, Rory Kinnear, Idris Elba, Alexander Siddig, John Oliver, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Dame Maggie Smith, a computer-generated hologram of a young Tom Baker, Roger Daltrey (get it?), a reanimated Benny Hill zombie, the Royal Baby, and basically every single ...

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The Russian government today granted temporary asylum to Edward Snowden, allowing him to leave Moscow’s Sheremetyevo Airport, where he has been staying for more than five weeks, and live freely within Russia for one year.

The new animated superhero series The Awesomes, created and produced by Saturday Night Live’s Seth Meyers and Michael Shoemaker (producer, Late Night With Jimmy Fallon), has jumped on the online trend by being exclusively available on Hulu. Problem is, other than online streaming, The Awesomes adds very little innovation to the superhero canon. A misfit bunch of superheroes with a few odd powers? I liked it better when it was called Mystery Men.

The Awesomes does offer a shade of familial conflict into the mix, as Prock, voiced by Meyers (his name is a combination of Professor and Doctor, a nice nod to frequent uses of those titles by superheroes and villains) takes over the Awesomes team from his dad. The 90-year-old Mr. Awesome (Steve Higgins, sounding just like John Mahoney) would prefer to relinquish the team to the Superman-inspired Perfectman (voiced by Seth’s brother Josh Meyers), who ...

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Dev Imangi Studios announced it's signed up Jamaican sprint star Usain bolt to be a playable character in Temple Run 2, probably the biggest proof yet beyond hard figures that Temple Run is a completely massive thing. The world's fastest man and Olympic gold factory is available now as an in-app purchase of 99 cents, but only for a limited time.

Of course, being Usain Bolt, he has a unique power-up that combines the speed boost with the coin magnet; we're not sure there's a better analogy for his lucrative life. Meanwhile, Temple Run 2 has been a similarly lucrative record breaker for Imangi, taking just 13 days to become the fastest-ever mobile game to reach 50 million downloads.

Continue reading Temple Run 2 adds Usain Bolt, because it can and why not

Temple Run 2 adds Usain Bolt, because it can and why not originally appeared on Joystiq on Thu, 01 Aug 2013 16:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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“But I am very poorly today and very stupid and hate everybody and everything.”

- Charles Darwin, in a letter dated October 1, 1861 [x]

Starting later this month, authors will be able to start selling their Kurt Vonnegut-related fan fiction via Amazon’s Kindle Worlds format, so get that erotic mustache-tickling short story ready. The move comes as Amazon has announced a licensing partnership with RosettaBooks, the company that owns the likeness rights to most of Vonnegut’s work. Amazon already has a fan fiction agreement with the company that licenses Gossip Girl, Pretty Little Liars, and Vampire Diaries, as well as comic book publisher Valiant entertainment.

While Amazon doesn’t really allow mature or sexual fan fiction to be distributed via its Kindle Worlds platform, the company says it’s already published 120 stories based on the characters and worlds found in its previously licensed properties. Philip Patrick, director of business development for Kindle Worlds, says that Amazon is thrilled “to include the work of an American literary icon” like Vonnegut in its ...

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