firehose

For all of you other film nerds who, like me, want to light yourselves on fire whenever it has to be explained to people why they shouldn't text during movies, here's something slightly less annoying: "The Dwayne Johnson Effect: Why the Rock Should Be In Every Movie Ever," an impressively scientific and, I would suggest, 100 percent unfuckwithable theory "based off the monetary history of the twelve-year-old Fast and Furious franchise." Who wrote it? I do not know. Whoever it is, they're a genius. Taking a simple fact we all know about the Rock's M.O. ("He leaped fifty thousand feet into the air, performed the people's elbow on an unsuspecting cloud, and dollar bills rained down on the Fast and Furious franchise from this cloud"), this anonymous report then goes on to provide a whole lot of charts and numbers, then make some bold conclusions.

I've assembled one definite and one variable (with three options) in my Dwyane Johnson Effect theory. We'll need more data to determine which variable option is correct, but for now we'll leave things open.

Definite One: Dwyane Johnson can increase the budget of the next entry in your franchise by 47%.

Variable One: Dwyane Johnson can increase the box office take of the next entry in your franchise by 72%.

Variable Two: Dwyane Johnson can increase the box office profit of the next entry in your franchise by 80%.

Variable Three: Dwyane Johnson can increase the % made back of the next entry in your franchise by 17%.

I urge you all to read this important work of financial analysis. Thanks to Mike Russell for the heads up.

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omgthatdress:

Ring

1900

Tadema Gallery

Summer Reading Recap with Nick Offerman [x]

WASHINGTON—According to a nationwide poll published Thursday by the Pew Research Center, an overwhelming majority of Americans said they were surprised that technology had not yet advanced to the point at which everyone lives inside of computers. As...

Following Daft Punk’s Tuesday night no-show on The Colbert Report, a number of sites (Pitchfork, Billboard, Consequence Of Sound) cast skeptical glares at the show, suggesting that perhaps the band was never actually booked on the show, and rather the whole thing was just an orchestrated stunt to promote MTV’s Video Music Awards. Of course, regular Colbert viewers who know that Viacom promotion isn't a cause close to their favorite host's heart came to his defense. And Wednesday night, Colbert himself got into the fray, ripping Pitchfork in particular for suggesting the whole thing was “an elaborate fake out.”

In a segment titled “Disco Deceptions,” Colbert sarcastically admitted to being totally busted, saying that the staff of the show “thought we'd tricked you by flying in the disco Decepticons from Paris in a sophisticated pantomime to fool everyone, even myself, so committed was I that ...

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chronicallycreative:

thefrankiieffect:

viciousjolras:

anysortofcertainty:

ohitsandreea:

The Purity Myth.

If you’re a female this should concern and frighten you in a big way.

jesus christ.

If you’re a human being in general this should concern and frighten you in a big way.

Before the first-ever night game at Wrigley Field on Aug. 8, 1988 — 25 years ago Thursday — legendary comedian Bill Murray joined legendary broadcaster Harry Caray in the broadcast booth. If you need a better pitch than that to convince you to watch the video, we have nothing in common.

Original Source

At long last, we'll finally get to read some of Girl With the Dragon Tattoo author Stieg Larsson's early science fiction. One story he wrote at age 17 will be in an anthology of Swedish crime stories called A Darker Shade of Sweden.

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Huddle is a clever 3D-printed LED light bulb with a cityscape sprouting out of the top. It is available as a floor lamp and hanging lamp. Huddle was created by Netherlands-based designer David Graas.

via DesignTAXI

You know how some people are conditioned to believe that any statement directed at them must be a complaint, so they don’t know how to react when someone says something nice? That’s apparently the mindset of whatever robot responds to customers on the Domino’s Pizza Facebook page.

It sounded like a fun project, so I wrote a program that takes video captures of our Mario Kart 64 sessions and picks out when each race starts, which character is in each box on the screen, the rank of each player as the race progresses, and finally when the race finishes. Then I built a web client that lets us upload videos, record who played which character in each race, and browse the aggregated stats. The result is called Kartlytics, and now contains videos of over 230 races from over the last year and change.

They are charged with removing a backpack containing fireworks and a laptop from Tsarnaev's dorm room after the FBI released pictures of Dzhokhar and his older brother Tamerlan in an effort to learn the names of the bombers. The pair were first charged on May 1 with conspiracy and remain in federal custody. They could face up to 20 years in prison on obstruction of justice charges, in addition to five years if convicted on conspiracy charges.

“Not to get too personal, but our home back in Chicago – not the White House, which as I said, that’s a rental – our home back in Chicago, you know, my mortgage interest rate, I would probably benefit from refinancing right now,” Obama said. “I would save some money,” he said, but “when you’re president, you have to be a little careful about these transactions, so we haven’t refinanced.”

Her is an upcoming comedy romance film about a “lonely writer” who “develops an unlikely relationship with his newly-purchased operating system that’s designed to meet his every need.” The film stars Joaquin Phoenix and Scarlett Johansson, is directed by Spike Jonze, and is due out in theaters on November 20th, 2013 (trailer).

sincerely-harry:

my baby brother was really upset so

he was crying

until he realized he was taking selfies on my laptop

laughingsquid:

Pokemayans, Pokémon Illustrated in the Style of Mayan Art

laughingsquid:

NHL Logos Redesigned Using Pokémon

dampsandwich:

mom i dont wanna go to school i dont feel good

animerwj:

mikerickson:

I watched this last night for the first time and it had me in fucking stitches.

thisisnoise4:

thanks obama

icavein:

This makes me so happy.

sillylittlecaucasiangirl:

The twist is im angry at everything

laughingsquid:

Bebo Shuts Down & Announces Redesign With Humorous Video

Omni is coming back — and with it, questions about how our vision of science and science fiction has changed since its launch. Omni’s resurrection comes courtesy of Jeremy Frommer, a collector and businessman who acquired Guccione’s archives earlier this year. Inside a warehouse full of production assets lie thousands of Omni photos, illustrations, and original editions, which Frommer plans to release as prints, books, or collector’s items. But he wasn’t content with mining the past. Instead, he hired longtime science writer Claire Evans as editor of a new online project, described as an “Omni reboot.”

Whenever my beloved protagonists get on a boat, I groan, put the book on the table, and pace around the room muttering angrily to myself, alarming friends and loved ones. I can’t help it! I know exactly how the whole thing’s going to play out. In the first chapter of the voyage, one of my land-lubbing heroes will experience terrible seasickness while another marvels at the oh-so-different-and-interesting culture of the sailors. The seasick character will be furious at how easily her companions are adjusting (I’m looking at you, Nynaeve al’Meara), but won’t be able to express that anger through the force of her vomiting. In the next chapter, there will be poetic descriptions of the ocean, which I will skip. In the chapter after that, there will be one of four events: a storm, a pirate attack, a mutiny, or a becalming. In the aftermath, if I am very, very lucky, the heroes will be washed up on shore, either near their destination or in some other, equally important place. If I’m unlucky, the storm will be followed by a becalming, which will lead to a mutiny. This will invariably take at least 100 pages. I would like those hundreds of pages of my life back, but they aren’t coming back. They are lost to humankind, sunk to the depths of the ocean.