Nine football players at the University of Oklahoma have tested positive for the coronavirus, as the Big 12, its conference, continues to gear up for fall football.
NB – since publishing this article, I’ve received confirmation that all of the latest prints have now sold.
Exciting news if you love both fine art and the dear Lieutenant – the last ever limited edition print run of the Columbo painting from Murder, A Self Portrait is available now!
Three previous runs of 20 prints sold like hot cakes, but global demand has been so high that the estate of Jaroslav Gebr – the Czech artist responsible for the original portrait – have agreed to provide fans with one more chance to get their hands on a copy.
Twenty prints, complete with certificates of authenticity, have been made available and I’ve been assured by Jaroslav’s son, Thomas Gebr, that this will be the last ever run! So if you want to be amongst just 80 people in the world to own this magnificent piece, I recommend acting fast!
Now remember, folks, this is a high-quality print of an iconic work of art and is priced accordingly. Buyers can expect to pay in the region of $250 for an unframed print. However, being a proud owner of one of these prints myself, I can assure you that it’s great value and is certain to warm the cockles of the heart every time you look at it.
Columbo superfans may also be interested to hear that two of the original paintings Gebr created for Murder, A Self Portrait are also acquirable at a reduced price for a limited period. The two acrylic-on-canvas paintings of actress Isabel Lorca were featured in the episode as part of murderous artist Max Barsini’s series of portraits of young muse, Julie.
The last item of interest for lovers of the Lieutenant is the series of 7 original 16″ x 20″ glossy colour photos of Isabel Lorca, which were used by Gebr to create the nude portraits of Julie for Murder, A Self Portrait. These are the original and only such photos in existence and come at a cost of $350 each.
The availability of these photos is so HOT OFF THE PRESS that they’re not even on the Gebr Art website yet, so if you have any queries about them (or any of the other items in this article), get in touch with Renee at Gebr Art.
Let me know if you decide to take the plunge! It would be heartening to know that such treasured items are finding their way to the right places. Salut!
Kentucky’s interest comes in the wake of longtime assistant Kenny Payne, who was earning $900,000 per year, recently leaving the program to become an associate head coach for the New York Knicks. Kentucky filled that void with Indiana assistant Bruiser Flint, so it’s quite possible that Kentucky will utilize the Payne’s previous salary to hire Flint and provide a raise to Lucas, who has a reported salary of $217,500.
Per Brian Davis of the Austin American-Statesman, Lucas is still with the Longhorns as of late Tuesday afternoon. That said, the Kentucky Sports Radio report indicates that Texas is bracing for Lucas’ departure from the program.
“Sources tell KSR that Texas is already searching for a replacement for Lucas, with Baylor’s Alvin Brooks being seen as an early favorite.”
For obvious reasons, if the move comes to fruition, it would serve as a substantial loss for the Longhorns. Lucas, a former Longhorns point guard, served as a special assistant to former Texas coach Rick Barnes in 2013 and remained in Austin as the served as director of basketball operations when Shaka Smart was hired.
Lucas was soon thereafter promoted to his current role as an assistant coach in 2016, where his impact has been most notably felt on the recruiting trail, as he’s a prominent name in the Houston hoops recruiting scene and helped land elite talents such as Jarrett Allen, Mohamed Bamba, and Greg Brown.
If Smart loses Lucas to Kentucky, he’ll be tasked with filling two assistant roles ahead of the 2020-21 campaign, as Luke Yaklich departed from the program following the end of the shortened 2019-20 season to become the head coach at Illinois-Chicago.
pretty annoyed that this is excluded by apple on iphones.
i find myself being less and less loyal to apple lately.
It’s not exactly new technology, but winning a round of Halo 3 on my mobile phone feels wrong – in the best possible way.
While Microsoft is undergoing some nasty twists in their next generation plans like the sudden delay of Halo Infinite, in other areas the tech giant’s unique master plan is expanding as planned. This week, a beta of the Xbox ‘xCloud’ game streaming service became available to all Xbox Game Pass Ultimate subscribers on Android – and playing it for a few hours has really reinforced what Microsoft’s vision of the future is all about.
The next generation isn’t all about hardware, Microsoft says. It isn’t even all about games. Instead, Xbox is delivering services – the new hardware almost feels like it exists to support the services, rather than the other way around. Playing the near-final xCloud beta on mobile, the experience is now so polished that it in itself feels like a next-generation offering.
You can see that vision outlined in the blog posts around Halo Infinite’s delay. It’s not about that one big next-generation launch game – it’s about thousands of backwards-compatible games, enhanced games and subscription services. It’s also not even necessarily about buying the new box, as this beta underscores: a vast amount of the Game Pass Ultimate library can be booted on your phone.
Game Pass Ultimate is $15 per month – for that price you get access to the Game Pass libraries on both PC and Xbox, an Xbox Live Gold subscription and now xCloud, the streaming service that’ll mean you can play a solid number of those included free games on your phone, tablet or other compatible device as well as on your Xbox or PC hardware. It’s good value.
Anyway, settling in to play Halo 3, Forza Horizon 4 and then Streets of Rage 4 on this thing for a few hours is a bit of a revelation. It’s not like this technology is new – I remember being dazzled during the early media access to the long-dead OnLive, and then again convinced that Google Stadia had the right idea if not the right execution – but something about the Xbox implementation is just right.
Perhaps it’s that these are proper games that we all know. Perhaps it’s that my saves sync across so my PC or console progress is right there on my phone. Perhaps it’s using a comfortable, proper controller. In all likelihood it’s a combination of these factors alongside some others beyond. Unlike many cloud gaming services so far, this feels like a complete, real, fully-functional service – and one that’s actually useful in the context of more traditional gaming.
Don’t get me wrong; playing Halo 3 on a 6-inch screen isn’t the designed experience. The user interface is tiny. I didn’t have a controller clip either, so my phone was propped up – again, not ideal. But the fact this works in spite of factors like this is the ultimate proof that it’s just a great idea.
I played on a 4G mobile connection and found it to be stable and good-looking. Occasionally I got some artifacting during Halo in particular, but the xCloud tech seemed to prioritize a smooth experience over visual fidelity – which is smart. I’d rather have a minor visual hiccup or drop in quality that doesn’t interrupt gameplay than hitching that could ruin a perfectly lined-up shot.
The best thing about the offering currently in beta is arguably the Game Pass app itself. This is the thing that ties everything together, and what ultimately makes this feel like a new, exciting, next-generation experience. It’s a breeze and a joy to use. It slots into a wider vision of the next generation: obviously I’m going to primarily be playing games locally on a high-end machine – but this is just pure convenience.
This beta version – which is listed separately to the current app in the Google Play store – is just slick. You can flick between Cloud, Console and PC game pass titles, and remotely order installation on your registered machines. This means you can try out a game on the go through the Cloud, then if you enjoy it cue up a download at home to continue locally. Your progress will automatically carry over. Games launch quickly and smoothly, and it handles things like syncing up new controllers well.
This is smart, as it gives cloud players a reason to buy an Xbox but also because it better complements where cloud technology is: it’s a great complement to having a console, but not necessarily a replacement. The strength of the xCloud is an enormous string to the Xbox bow going into the next generation.
Right now only the Xbox games will be playable via the Cloud, but that’s still well over 100 titles – and hopefully in time the Xbox library will expand and the PC library will also become playable through the Cloud.
Anyway, it all just works. I’ve played with xCloud a couple of times before, but I was still surprised by how well put together the entire experience now feels. If you have an Android phone, you should definitely give it a try: this beta runs until September 11th, then service will be paused briefly before the final release on September 15th.
solid list, but the classic stylings of dr. ray flemming have to take the cake, amiright?
Guess who DIDN’T make the list?
The pleasure of viewing a Columbo is very often enhanced by the vibrant fashions sported by the series’ guest stars.
This is particularly true of the 1968-78 era, but also occasionally true of the ‘new’ Columbo age from 1989-2003 (although definitely not in the case of Columbo Cries Wolf). While I’ve gained a great deal of pleasure from considering the merits of particular outfits, and even lampooning them on occasion, I’ve never critically compared the wardrobes of Columbo killers. That’s a wrong that is being put right here as I consider who can put in the strongest claims to be considered Columbo’s best-dressed baddies.
To be eligible, contenders had to rock at least three different looks during a single episode. This, sadly, eliminated the likes of Nelson Brenner (who arguably wears the single-coolest blokes outfit of all), Paul ‘Mauve Suit’ Hanlon, Dale ‘velvet tux’ Kingston, ‘Corduroy’ Ken Franklin and Milo ‘tight trousers’ Janus. Fancy dress doesn’t count (Santini) and I also didn’t include sixties siren Joan Hudson because I don’t really believe she’s a villain, more an unwitting pawn in a criminal mastermind’s game.
Who says that red and green should never be seen? Not I…
I wanted to squeeze Lauren Staton from It’s All in the Game in this, but when critically comparing her admittedly fine threads with those in the final list, she pulled up just short. Plus, Mrs Columbo was threatening to use her power of veto on the inclusion, so dear Lauren – otherwise regarded as the acceptable face of 90s’ Columbo – is conspicuous by her absence. Got that? Good…
NB – these crims are listed in no particular order – except for the top three! Now read on!
Dr Ray Flemming – Prescription: Murder
Prescription: Murder is an episode apart in many ways – notably, of course, in its late 60s’ stylings, which are totally evident in Dr Flemming’s wardrobe.
Impeccably cut suits, skinny ties and narrow lapels were the psychiatrist’s fashion weapons of choice, while he also turned heads in his made-to-measure tuxedo (which simply must have suffered watermarks when lover Joan Hudson gave him a straight-from-the-pool cuddle).
Although a fiendish fellow, a man who dresses so dandily and who sports a pocket square the way he does can’t be all bad, can they…?
Grace Wheeler – Forgotten Lady
You could be forgiven for not realising Grace Wheeler is something of a fading icon because her elegant apparel is absolutely befitting of Hollywood royalty of the day.
She’s the undisputed QUEEN of Columbo headscarves, but really everything she wears oozes class – up to and including the final, heart-wrenching scene.
Dr Mark Collier – A Deadly State of Mind
If you like a bit of smooth, few Columbo killers can compare to Dr Mark Collier. Boasting a fresh-from-the-salon complexion and magnificently coiffed hair, a man this beautiful simply has to have a wardrobe to match – and Collier doesn’t let us down.
When suited and booted, we can all enjoy the cut of his jib (bonus points for those collar pins), and I think it’s fair to say that no killer rocked the leather jacket / turtle neck look quite like he did. Society may have gained from Collier’s incarceration, but the fashion world lost.
Leslie Williams – Ransom for a Dead Man
Oooooh Leslie! For a bad woman she’s such a good dresser that her greed and penchant for murder can almost be overlooked.
As well as an array of single-colour dresses she wears around the house, Leslie also makes a dazzling figure in her colour-blocked lady lawyer suits, and she even pulls off the near impossible by dazzling in a headscarf / aviator shades combo. I am absolutely on board with her interpretation of 70s’ chic.
Hayden Danziger – Troubled Waters
It’s just as well Hayden Danziger – the founder of the short-lived ‘pimp chic’ fashion craze – didn’t nick his jugular vein with one of his razor-sharp collars or there’d have been two deaths to investigate aboard ye goode shippe Sea Palace!
Danziger’s unapologetically awesome outfits (including a pure white lounge suit and a devil-may-care cravat) ensure that he was at least sent down the river in fine style after being thoroughly outfoxed by the wily Lieutenant.
Kay Freestone – Make Me a Perfect Murder
Whether determinedly striding towards an appointment with murder, bossing some TV underlings or picking up the pieces when a trashed friend drops her in it the sh*t, Kay Freestone effortlessly power dresses for every occasion.
Buoyed by her fabulous, voluminous 70s’ hair, the look hasn’t been invented yet that Kay can’t absolutely ace.
Adrian Carsini – Any Old Port in a Storm
Mr Carsini claims that his life starts and ends with wine. I think he’s being too modest, because he’s obviously put a great deal of effort into maintaining his spiffing wardrobe.
Despite a diminutive frame and bald pate, Carsini’s outstanding suit/shirt/tie/cufflinks/pocket square combinations absolutely epitomise his dedication to excellence. The man also has the class to sport a real flower on his lapel, and did you see the ruffled shirt cuffs that accompanied his velvety tuxedo at the fine wine auction? Even Dale Kingston turned green with envy…
May his enemies never be as well dressed as Carsini is in this episode.
Beth Chadwick – Lady in Waiting
There are two schools of thought on Beth’s outrageous pink-and-purple boardroom coup costume: those who LOVE it, and those who are WRONG. And even though she’s perennially associated with that outfit, this sultry minx could never be considered a one-outfit wonder.
Once freed from the tyrannical grip of hated brother Bryce, Beth is reborn and revitalised, dressing like a confident young beauty rather than an ageing librarian. Her transformation represents one of the most enthralling character arcs of the series.
Luis Montoya – A Matter of Honor
A man who is virtually a deity in his homeland has no excuse for dressing shabbily – and luckily Don Luis Montoya never lets the thronging masses down in the sartorial stakes.
Even his knee-trembling terror when caught in the steely gaze of monster bull Marinaro was pleasingly off-set by a splendid lemon yellow and beige ensemble (a red neckerchief helping the outfit really pop), while his slim-fit apparel also did a fine job in displaying his enviable physique.
And the top 3…
3. Dr Bart Kepple – Double Exposure
There was no way an article on Columbo fashions was going to overlook Kepple’s yellow jacket, but the dastardly motivational research expert is blessed with a sense of style that enables him to look sensational in everything he wears.
From that killer pin-stripe suit to a casual golf outfit that would still look fresh today, the man is simply SEX ON LEGS in this episode – even when just sitting amongst pumpkins at a supermarket. Phwoooooar!
2. Viveca Scott – Lovely but Lethal
Two words for you: FASHION TURBAN. Four more: everything else she wears.
Yes folks, cosmetics Empress Viveca Scott has a killer look for every occasion – including killing x 2. On any other TV show, the fashion turban would have spring-boarded Viveca to top spot in the standings. However, that honour goes to…
1. Nora Chandler – Requiem for a Falling Star
Fittingly for a woman regularly dressed by cinema costume goddess Edith Head, Nora Chandler illuminates every scene she’s in – even when trying to keep a low profile at a clandestine meeting with frenemy Jerry Parks sporting octagonal gold-rimmed shades.
According to my reckoning, Nora stuns with at least seven magnificent looks in little over 70 minutes of screen time – an impressive average that makes her simply unreachable at the summit of the Columbo fashion mountain. Her navy blue and fuchsia pink split-leg pant suit is worth the price of the DVD box set alone.
“Nora stuns with at least seven magnificent looks in little over 70 minutes of screen time.”
That’s the conclusion of today’s catwalk show, ladies and gents. As always, I invite you to wade into the debate and share your own opinions on Columbo’s best-dressed villains. Have I missed out any fashionista/o deserving of a place? Or have I included someone whose wardrobe selections makes you see spots in front of your eyes?
just got off a nearly 2 hour skype call with @tommchenry and @yellowcardigan where we talked about the potential of 'jurassic park but chill.' highlight: sara's idea for a reality show about weddings that take place at Jurassic Park called 'Say Yes to the T-Rex'
this seems like an excellent way to reuse settings and props to save money like hey, it's your usual lawyer show, but set at jurassic park, watch as we walk past really chill dino exhibits and discuss important lawyery things like torts.
This might not be the most chill idea, but what if the corporation who owns the park wants to shut it down and sell off the dinosaurs but all the people who love the dinosaurs come together to save the park?
How about a show about dinosaur caretakers where each dino storyline dramatically parallels their own mundane personal issues? (like, taking care of stegosauruses helps someone realize they're ready for a committed relationship)
I was going to ask if you’re ever going to use your Welsh accent on television, but then I realized you did—playing the villain in the last-ever episode of Columbo. Did you know it was going to be the last going in?
No, no, we didn't at all. And that was a crushing moment for me because I always pride myself on working hard at dialect and accents. And Peter Falk, said “I want [your character] to be a Cockney from London.” So I worked on my Cockney accent. And he picked me up at LAX—Peter Falk picked me up when I landed at LAX. Unbelievable. In his Range Rover. Walked into arrivals. It still blows me away.
Nice.
Then he goes, "I want to rehearse right now." I was like, "Oh! Okay." So we drove to Universal, we drove to his office, and we're rehearsing for a few minutes and I'm giving my best London Cockney that I've worked on. And he went [Peter Falk accent] "Where are you from?" And I said, "Oh, I'm from a place called Cardiff in Wales." He said, [Peter Falk accent] "Why don't you play him as a guy from Cardiff in Wales." And I was like, “Oh my God, Peter Falk just destroyed my Cockney accent.” So it was kind of a crushing moment for me, but yes, I did get to use my own native accent in the last-ever Columbo.
Drummer Jean-Paul Gaster of Maryland rockers CLUTCH has told Meltdown of Detroit's WRIF radio station that the band commenced the songwriting process for the follow-up to 2018's "Book Of Bad Decisions" album.
"We've been writing some material," he said. "I would expect we'll get into the studio probably sometime this winter."
According to Gaster, CLUTCH has spent the last couple of months "trying to figure out how to do these streaming gigs, because that was something that we had never even entertained before this [coronavirus pandemic] happened. And the first one was a great success," he said. "We pulled it off using Neil's [Fallon, vocals] laptop, believe it or not — that was the camera. And we purchased a couple of consoles that we travel with to mix the band, and so we were able to use those in this situation; that ended up being a really good investment. So, for not much, we were able to put something together that I think people enjoyed, and we certainly enjoyed doing it.
"Tomorrow night, we're gonna do the next installment of that. And it's gonna be a lot of fun. We're rehearsing for that right now."
Tickets are on sale now at ClutchMerch.com for what CLUTCH has dubbed "Live From The Doom Saloon - Volume II". Fans are encouraged to construct their dream 14-song setlist via ClutchSetList.com. Neil Fallon, Tim Sult, Dan Maines and Jean-Paul Gaster will choose their favorite of the submissions and perform that set on August 7 at 5 p.m. PST / 8 p.m. EST. ClutchMerch.com also offers ticket bundles with exclusive merchandise and a limited-edition vinyl pressing of the entire performance.
Says CLUTCH: "The thing that makes this stream unique is that CLUTCH fans will have the opportunity to create their dream setlist from our entire catalog. This means fans can pick from every release starting from our 1991 'Pitchfork' 7" all the way thru 'Book Of Bad Decisions' and the songs from our 'Vault Series'."
The fan whose setlist is chosen will receive a massive prize pack, which includes TremLord 30 combo amplifier from Orange amps, a stompbox from Creepy Fingers (designed by FU MANCHU's Brad Davis), a Jim Dunlop Crybaby wah-pedal, a case of Liquid Death mountain water, and CLUTCH merchandise.
Anyone who misses "Live From The Doom Saloon - Volume II" concert will be able to stream it on demand through the weekend, right up till 11:59 p.m. EST on Sunday, August 9. The setlist contest winner will be announced during the live stream itself. Show donations will benefit the Innocent Lives Foundation, a charitable organization that combats the trafficking and exploitation of children, of which Fallon is a board member.
"Live From The Doom Saloon – Volume I" took place in May 2020, with support from CROWBAR, BLACKTOP MOJO and SAUL, with proceeds benefitting MusiCares and Angel Flight West.
CLUTCH released its twelfth studio album, "Book Of Bad Decisions", through its own Weathermaker Music in 2018. Rolling Stone described the album as "bathed in the grit and liberal fuzz tone that has made their live shows legendary." The band embarked on a successful co-headlining tour with DROPKICK MURPHYS in 2019, with support from HATEBREED, AMIGO THE DEVIL and Russ Rankin of GOOD RIDDANCE.
Two of the band's most recent albums, "Earth Rocker" (2013) and "Psychic Warfare" (2015), were included in Classic Rock magazine's 50 Best Rock Albums of the 2010s.
The SEC officially canceled non-conference games on Thursday and moved back the start of the season.
So much for the grudge match in Baton Rouge.
The SEC’s Thursday decision to cancel non-conference games and move back the season’s start to late September means that the Texas Longhorns won’t have a chance to get revenge against the LSU Tigers in Baton Rouge for last season’s thrilling 45-38 win by the Tigers in Austin.
“This new plan for a football schedule is consistent with the educational goals of our universities to allow for the safe and orderly return to campus of their student populations and to provide a healthy learning environment during these unique circumstances presented by the COVID-19 virus,” SEC commissioner Greg Sankey said. ”This new schedule supports the safety measures that are being taken by each of our institutions to ensure the health of our campus communities.”
The Big 12 is now the only Power Five conference that hasn’t announced plans for its non-conference schedule, but it seems like only a matter of time until commissioner Bob Bowlsby and his member institutions follow other conferences in moving to a conference-only schedule or a 10-game schedule with one non-conference. Until the SEC’s decision, the ACC had planned to play a plus-one model for its non-conference schedule, but that’s now in question, too.
One remaining hope for a non-conference game is that the ACC and Big 12 could agree to a scheduling alliance for this season to maintain that plus-one model for each conference and allow Big 12 teams to play 10 games to match the SEC.
Or Texas could simply keep USF or UTEP on the schedule in an echo of the ACC’s plan to allow non-conference play only in the member institution’s home state.
Another possibility is the Big 12 making a move with BYU similar to the agreement between the ACC and Notre Dame that allows the Fighting Irish to join the conference in football. The Cougars have already lost six games to cancelation this season
Another year and another amazing preseason preview from Mr. Wadlington. This preview goes in depth on the Horns and the Big 12 better than any other preseason publication. It also is written in a smart and humorous way. I cannot recommend this preview enough for hard core Longhorn fans and for any Big 12 football fans looking to get some non-biased intel on their own football team.
This incredible resource is for Longhorn/Big12 team fans who enjoy learning the finer points of a) football tactics/strategy and b) how players’ physical tools and skills apply to these things through c) humorous, conversational writing that d) thoroughly informs the reader about the good/bad/ugly of the Texas team/conference ... then this preview is for you.
So if you prefer “preview” magazines that focus on simplistic things like stat-scouting and returning starters to guess at next season’s record, not come away with any real knowledge, pump sunshine without mentioning any warts, and talk to the reader in a bland tone that’s better used to read the nutrition facts and ingredients of a cereal box ... well, then this product is also for you because you deserve better.
Do yourself (and the people you consume football with) a favor and mash that buy now button.
This is an excellent publication. The author is knowledgeable, and provides well considered and very well researched facts and opinions in a manner that is easy to understand and enjoyable to read.
I gave up previews years ago as they were seemingly all the same. A blurb regurgitating commonly known information as breaking news and in depth analysis. Maybe a list of key players, almost inevitably including a player or two who had already graduated or retired due to injury. Lazy work. This is anything but the case here. This is a different kind of publication and is well worth the price.
It is unique to have excellent football insights and a talent for prose. Paul has both with a sharp wit too. One of my favorite Longhorn sports posters and writer. Paul contributes on my favorite Longhorn football sight and I always click his posts first. For the past 6 years I’ve anxiously awaited Thinking Texas Football as it always gives an unvarnished discussion of the team and upcoming season. Scipio Tex is a Longhorn treasure and I encourage any Longhorn fan interested in The University of Texas football team to purchase this book.
Paul is an exceptionally gifted writer who happens to have a passion for Longhorn football. The “Preview” understates the value add of this publication because he totally unpacks how the got where it is today and why past performance may or not be a key to future performance. Paul’s wit and humor alone are worth the price and the time. When you read the book, you can feel the X’s and O’s moving even if you are a novice like me. Lastly, buy this just for his heart felt feelings about the “Eyes of Texas” and you are better for the read.
If you like generic analysis based on high school recruit rankings, all conference lists, and a cursory look at the depth chart, then this isn’t the preview for you. Paul has actually watched the team play and/or their high school hudl to arrive at projections. He seemlessly moves between high level and detailed analysis. His breakdown of coaching tactics is particularly insightful. Excellent preview and worth every penny!
Paul’s insights are keen and his rapier-like wit is always on point. This is a must read for all Longhorn fans from young tenderfoots to salty battle worn ex-coaches.
(reviewed the day of purchase)
**
Sincere thanks to all who bought it and reviewed it.
i remember trying to play ms flight simulator once or twice in the mid-to-late 90s and being so dumbfounded, not only in terms of HOW to play, but WHY would you play this?
now? in the the middle of a pandemic? a nice trans-atlantic flight sounds calming, soothing and theraputic.
Microsoft Flight Simulator has an important role to fulfill as a serious tool for the real-life aviation industry – but that doesn’t mean it can’t find time to dazzle gamers, too.
The technology that makes Microsoft Flight Simulator tick is something truly special. A mash up of Microsoft’s map data from its Bing search engine, artificial intelligence and cloud computing, the result is simple: this game’s ‘map’ is the whole world.
That makes sense for a piece of software that is more than just a video game. This is a tool that’ll likely become a new industry standard used to rack up flight hours in the process of learning real-life flying. Previous flight sims also offered the ability to explore the whole globe – but for the first time, this is a largely recognizable version of the world, all thanks to impressive new technology.
We all remember Microsoft’s crowing about the power of the cloud at the start of the current console generation, but it ultimately didn’t come to much. Crackdown 3, the big Xbox showcase of the technology, fell flat in public compared to mind-blowing private demos. Flight Simulator, however, is the other side of the coin: the real, tangible product enormously boosted by the fabled power of the cloud. While there are bugs and mistakes created by the AI that fills in the details, its hyper-accurate version of the world is stunning.
While air traffic control and a desire to fly comfortably will encourage you to take the altitude higher, you’ll almost always be tempted to dive low over cities and interesting topographical features in order to take in the detail. I flew over parts the UK counting off landmarks: there’s the white cliffs of Dover, the Houses of Parliament, and the O2, formerly the Millennium Dome. These are massive landmarks, but skimming over London revealed the recognizable digital facade of various buildings that I regularly visit, like the offices that are home to some video game publishers. Fly further north into the UK and I can find whatever I like: my home neighborhood, the nature reserve where I walk the dog, my local train station or mall.
The same is true around the world, and you can thus do a great bit of digital tourism: flying over the Las Vegas strip then off into the sunset over the Grand Canyon, taking in the sprawl of Tokyo at night when the artificial light of buildings and street lamps radiate into the sky, or circling low over the Los Angeles Convention Center while feeling a pang of longing for the structured chaos of E3.
In these moments, Microsoft Flight Simulator is magical, and it’s here that this very useful tool can become a wonderful game. It’s pure escapism – to head to the skies and relax, to fly over beautiful natural vistas or a man-made metropolis.
The world, if you haven’t guessed, is sort of the star. Or rather, it’s the glue that holds this whole experience together. Bing Maps data and photogrammetric scans are passed to Microsoft’s Azure cloud servers, which then use artificial intelligence to fill in the details not present on the satellite imagery.
This means that while your house might not have the exact right shape, it will be there – represented by an AI-generated approximation. This means up-close and personal things might not be exactly accurate – but bigger buildings are more likely to be closer to reality. The AI will also fill in details like trees and determine what is liquid, adding foliage and telling the game where to place its realistic water to create rivers, ponds and the ocean.
Once you’re in the skies and gain a proper altitude, the less-accurate elements of the AI’s work disappear from view and what you get is a highly accurate representation of the real world. Some cities are enhanced further with the touch of developers, and there’s promise here in Flight Simulator as a platform, with the developers promising updates but also supporting a marketplace where third parties can sell new content. Additional world detail or more hand-modeled landmark buildings could easily be a successful marketplace category alongside new aircraft and other additions.
Speaking of support, there’s plenty already in and lots more to come. The game will be TrackIR compatible, for instance. It’ll launch on Steam as well as the Windows Store and Xbox Game Pass PC. There are plans for VR support, obviously. Then there’s the general expansion: more premium, hand-designed airports, more aircraft and so on, from both third and first party developers. If you can think of it, chances are the developers have considered and placed it on a long-list also; they describe this as a decade-long project.
In the cockpit, this is as good a flight simulator that there has ever been. Every vehicle is accurately represented in extreme detail. Modern hardware means things like the texture of each button, light or control element pop and are more easily recognizable. Meanwhile, the accurate world is supplemented with gorgeous lighting effects that mean the view from behind your instruments is pretty much always a lovely one – even if it’s open sky. The sensation of the glow of a city drawing nearer on the horizon as you fly on a dark night is quite something.
The cloud is used in other ways, too – to calculate things like the way air flows around natural structures like mountains to cause pockets of turbulence, or streaming in air traffic, time of day and weather from the real-world.
An internet connection is required, but the level of detail borrowed from the cloud scales based on your connection speed – meaning less detail but no less playable for those on slower connections. With that said, I tested at a variety of network speeds and found the level of detail to pretty much always be acceptable, though it did vary. Given the nature of the game, asking for a half-decent connection doesn’t seem too cheeky. You’ll want to play this at a desk, not on a laptop on the train.
I’ve been playing Flight Simulator with a range of accessories including a Thrustmaster TPR Rudder and the Honeycomb Alpha Yoke & Switch Panel. The game is obviously most at home with accessories like these, which companies like Logitech, Thrustmaster and Honeycomb are all over – but you can also play with a mouse and keyboard. There’s a range of assists, with the idea being that regardless of your competency, you can enjoy flying.
Part of this, the developers explained in an introduction to our hands-on, is because a lot of the development team began to learn to fly as part of creating this title. They recreated the real-world experience in-game. When you first begin to fly, your teacher takes control of pretty much everything but the yoke away from you – so the flight simulator assists go that far.
The more assistance is turned off the more it’s on you, until you’re at full seat-of-pants, mistakes-are-deadly level. Either way, it’s good, approachable stuff – and the tutorials are solid too.
There’s much else to talk about and look at in flight simulator as I get access to more of the game and for longer nearer to release. But in a time that few of us can hop on a flight and cross the world, Microsoft Flight Simulator feels pretty perfectly timed – and its canny use of new technologies work to easily make it a worthy and brilliant successor to its genre-defining predecessors.
Microsoft Flight Simulator releases for Windows Store, Xbox Game Pass for PC and Steam on August 18. As we get closer to release, we’ll have more thoughts and video for you.
As reported by The Hollywood Reporter, former MythBusters host Grant Imahara has died. The news was confirmed by a statement from a Discovery representative, referring to Imahara as an “important part of our Discovery family and a really wonderful man.” A cause of death was not given, but THR’s sources say he died…
just rewatched the original piranha the other day, now i need to revisit the remake, i guess.
Welcome to Revenge of the Remakes, where columnist Matt Donato takes us on a journey through the world of horror remakes. We all complain about Hollywood’s lack of originality whenever studios announce new remakes, reboots, and reimaginings, but the reality? Far more positive examples of refurbished classics and updated legacies exist than you’re willing to remember (or admit). The good, the bad, the unnecessary – Matt’s recounting them all.
In last month’s “Revenge” column, I detailed how viewing Maniac (2012) before Maniac (1980) might have lessened my opinion on William Lustig’s original. This month, I encounter the same reverse-sequential situation. I’d seen Alexandre Aja’s Piranha 3D twenty-something times before ever indulging in Joe Dante’s Piranha, says a self-proclaimed fool. Aja’s grotesque feeding frenzy on Lake Victoria’s beaches suggests something that the original is not: an outright rabid creature feature. Working backward, I was shocked to find Dante’s aquatic nightmare somewhat more wholesome yet still devoted to underwater terror. So very Dante, at the top of his game, which I should never have doubted.
It’s safe to say I’m a fan of both, but for substantially different reasons. Aja enlists the special effects mastery of Greg Nicotero and focuses on gratification through gore. Sloppy, limb-gnawing, torso-slicing gore. Meanwhile, Dante favors B-movie thrills and camp – summer camp, performative camp, any way you interpret “camp” – for a markedly contrasting type of “GET OUT OF THE WATER” experience. Some might say he’s toying with ideas that he’d eventually hone in later films like Gremlins, like how James Wan used Dead Silence to test stylistic choices that’d later define such titles as Insidious.
Let’s rip into the meat of my analysis to explain why Piranha 3D is the kind of remake we herald around these parts, while simultaneously acknowledging how Piranha has rightfully become one of my favorite aquatic horror movies of all time.
The Approach
I’ve long called Piranha 3D a “remake,” but now I’d change that classifier to “remix.” Writers Peter Goldfinger and Josh Stolberg honor John Sayles’ original screenplay’s fundamental structure, but with a modernized spin. A school of hungry piranhas surges into public waters where smiley-splashy swimmers get chewed to pieces. That’s the bare-bones model of both narratives, but Goldfinger and Stolberg ditch the sleepy mountain-town vibe for DJ Chocolate Thunder’s party-rocking anthems. New fresh smell (Axe body spray and vomit), and yet still respectful in terms of championing Dante’s original. You’ll notice reused shots in shuffled order, with altered outcomes, yet still wholly recognizable when acknowledging 1978’s fin-flick spectacle.
Aja’s 2010 update takes us to spring break at Lake Victoria, the real-life Lake Havasu, where sheriff Julie Forester (Elisabeth Shue) races against time to save intoxicated partiers from a very real piranha threat. Her son, Jake (Steven R. McQueen), finds himself playing host to an adult entertainment mogul (Derrick Jones, none other than Jerry O’Connell) and in harm’s way on the coked-out filmmaker’s yacht. It all starts with an unexpected earthquake that releases the evolutionary-enhanced piranhas from an undiscovered cave system and could end with countless deaths if Julie can’t clear the lake. All she has to do is kill the most epic at-sea festival of the year, and convince beer-bonging brochachos to dock their boats. How hard can that be?
It’s inconspicuously simple, and that’s what allows Aja to focus his talents on kills galore. You’ll notice how Aja’s take doesn’t include any mutated lab experiments like in Dante’s, and only focuses on one primary disaster populated by characters who don’t require investment. Most anyone introduced will become chum, thrown into the water for a gruesome death. Dante injects environmental horror and government conspiracy subplots to make an “animals attack” entry with more to chew. Aja’s take could be considered torture porn at sea, but impressively so since the third-act finale is as harrowing as Saving Private Ryan’s D-Day invasion. Both shorelines inescapably soaked in blood.
One film an almost family-friendly (sans some nudity and child endangerment) glimpse of aquatic horror, the other a borderline mean-spirited prop warehouse showcase with a nastier bite.
Does It Work?
Speaking for myself, yes. It does what a good horror remake should. I know I’ve reused this phrase throughout “Revenge Of The Remakes” and will continue to when promoting good behavior. Goldfinger and Stolberg lay the groundwork for an original take on what’s otherwise an unoriginal story (not a burn!), and Aja’s delivery is rooted in differentiation. There’s an immediate recognition that Piranha 3D is a more savage beast than Piranha through Richard Dreyfuss’ early death, repurposing a direct callback to Bradford Dillman’s hero character when he raises his hand out the water. In Piranha, this is a sign of hope to reassure viewers that Dillman still lives. In Piranha 3D, we see Dreyfuss’ boney remains stripped of flesh to signify certain doom. One hell of a way to sell your film’s tone (bonus Jaws reference).
As we’re introduced to characters from Eli Roth’s wet t-shirt contest emcee to douchebro Todd (Cody Longo), it becomes very evident that most Lake Victoria regulars are horrid humans. The only souls worth saving are the Foresters (even Jake, the world’s worst babysitter), sweetheart Kelly (Jessica Szohr), Deputy Fallon (Ving Rhames), and maybe nude model Danni (Kelly Brook). Everyone else ranges on a scale from “That Dude Who Runs Girls Gone Wild” to those who support “That Dude Who Runs Girls Gone Wild” (although, for lawsuit reasons, Derrick Jones totally isn’t based on that dude who runs Girls Gone Wild [wink wink, nudge nudge]). Most of the time, this wouldn’t work for myself or larger audiences because empathy helps elevate on-screen deaths. We’ve seen too many horror films populated by gutter trash whose sole purpose is to inflate the body count. That’s what sets Piranha 3D apart – it’s efficiently good at karmic justice against otherwise cringeworthy archetypes.
Nicotero’s practical effects work is next-level outstanding when it comes to carnage, and is the secret weapon of Aja’s reimagining. Under the shadow of night, you can hide jankier effects and find more forgiveness. Under the blistering sunlight of “sunny scary” horror, your craft is on full display. There’s no hiding your imperfections, which doesn’t bother Nicotero in the slightest. Where you’re watching Piranha to see what surprises are in store, you’re watching Piranha 3D to see how Nicotero mixes physical effects with digitized smoothing for epic finishers that continue to push gore-forward boundaries. What would be a career-defining turn for other behind-the-scenes crafters is just another day in the office for Nicotero.
The Result
Piranha 3D might be a “remake” by specific definitions. Still, it’s a standalone experience that unites kegger-carelessness and sun-soaked thrills with a raw intensity that’s rarely allowed to shine in mainstream aquatic horror. Aja balances his viewers on a razor’s edge, executing these chaotic underwater attack sequences without losing focus in a flurry of gnashing mouths, air bubbles, and bloody leakage. There’s a cheekiness promised with the “3D” add-on that assures viewers there’s going to be some midnight movie vibe. “Piranha” is a movie about piranhas, but “Piranha 3D” sounds like a slice of aquatic horror that’s never going to take itself too seriously. Aja delivers just that.
I love all the nods to Dante’s fan-favorite. It could be something simple, like Jake’s escape from Derrick’s flooded vessel when he’s pulled from the near-wreckage by a speedboat with a water sports rope attached to the back. Maybe it’s how Jerry O’Connell’s skeletal remains from the waist down are an homage to Keenan Wynn’s chewed legs. Same for Ving Rhames’ last stand in relation to Paul Bartel’s saving of his campers. Even Gianna Michaels’ death as “Parasailing Girl” is a reference, when she screams for her boat to pull her out of the water just like the waterskiing man in Piranha (sans explosion, sadly). All these moments mirror something that happens in Dante’s release, but in their unique ways. Goldfinger and Stolberg manage to capitalize on the 2010s in terms of horror trends at the time (when movies like multiple Saw sequels were popular).
The thing is, Piranha 3D still boasts its own identity. Some might call it “fratty” or obscene, but I view it more as a reflective product of the times. It’s sure as hell gaze-heavy when showing off hot bods in swimsuits (or without them), but there’s a genuine sense of retribution once chaos erupts and all these terrible jabronis shouting lines like “Show me your tits!” become piranha chow. Not only that, but Aja never shies away from his subterranean creatures when weaponizing them against Lake Victoria’s unsavory invaders. Think of how many shark flicks hide their titular beast until the very last moment. Piranha 3D lunges forward in the very first minutes as a showing of dominance and never backs down. From the first red-saturated cyclone as Dreyfuss’ body is nibbled to pieces, to O’Connell’s severed weiner, to the girl who spills her entrails when carried out of the water – it’s all adrenaline, all the time.
The Lesson
Let your movie speak for itself. Sure, remakes aim to capitalize on marketability value. You want that nostalgic draw and tag-along audience where applicable. That said, your movie should stand on its own in comparison. Piranha 3D and Piranha make an exemplary double-feature that proves two entities with the same concept can exist in totally separate universes. Alexandre Aja is not Joe Dante, or vice versa, and that’s a good thing. That’s why two piranha-centric films can exist as sibling watches with singular voices and messages. One the more “playful” and satirical commentary that weighs hubris against nature (Dick Miller’s attraction owner drives this home in a “Mayor Larry Vaughn” way), the other where Adam Scott can hop on a Waverunner and blast leaping piranhas out of mid-air with a shotgun.
So what did we learn?
Directors should be allowed to realize their vision without restraint in staying familiar with a remake’s original.
Updated technology allows for benefits when it comes to something that could be described as “outdated,” although Piranha holds up swimmingly.
Adam Scott needs more roles where he shoots things with a shotgun.
When you identify how your remake will stand out, drive that point home like the third-act of Piranha 3D with gore upon more gore upon endless gore.
Go big or get out. Aja approaches Piranha 3D with the motto, “Anything you can do, I can do better.” While some will argue if “better” fits, there’s no denying his commitment to razor-toothed ambitions.
I still remember seeing Piranha 3D in theaters, and consequently, haven’t had as much fun in a theater with aquatic horror until Crawl. Aja knows his way around liquified horror and scaly dangers, but that’s not to discredit Dante’s work in the least bit. Honestly? Piranha and Piranha 3D might be my favorite one-two punch of fishy genre exploitation, which is high praise considering my love of others such as Deep Blue Sea or Lake Placid. I’m sorry it took so long to pay my respects, Mr. Dante and Mr. Aja. Your films will forever be tethered in my mind, darting ahead of the pack when it comes to wet, wacky, waterlogged horror entertainment.
(My favorite scene is Columbo getting a massage from the murderer in Make Me a Perfect Murder. And my favorite moment is in Fade in to Murder, when an officer describes the suspect as being the same height as Columbo, and Columbo responds, "average height.")
already started rewatching this series. blows me away that this show aired on broadcast television. largely because of the gore, but also because the amazing production value and very dark and heady concepts and subject matter. so fucking good though.
Creator Bryan Fuller has been keeping the hope alive for the return of “Hannibal” ever since NBC pulled the plug back in 2015, but at this moment in time, there seems to be no actual movement in regards to any sort of revival. All three seasons of the brilliant NBC series, however, did recently begin streaming on Netflix, which has sparked much speculation.
Could Netflix be the new home for brand new seasons of “Hannibal,” in addition to the existing three seasons that originally aired on NBC? Anything is possible, especially in 2020.
The cast and crew of the show, including Fuller as well as stars Mads Mikkelsen and Hugh Dancy, came together for a special Nerdist House reunion over the weekend, and the conversation naturally turned to talks of a potential revival. Speaking on that particular subject, Fuller stated that at this point in time he’s “very hopeful” that “Hannibal” will return.
“I am very hopeful,” Fuller said during the reunion, talking about a fourth season of the show. “The great thing about the idea that if we are going to be meeting [back up with Hannibal and Will] and it takes five, six, seven years or what have you, that’s just how long they’ve been on the lam. Then the story picks up from that point. And we’ll adapt.”
Fuller is of course referring to the literal cliff-hanger that was season three’s finale, with a potential fourth season picking up several years after that particular incident on the cliff.
When asked about his dream fourth season, Fuller commented: “It’s very sort of sunny and sweaty, as compared to the cold, harsh realities of Toronto. I think it would be fun to go sunny and sweaty and beachy. A whole new temperature to the cinema.”
And what about the characters from this iteration of “Hannibal” being woven into the iconic Silence of the Lambs story? We already know that CBS is working on their own sequel series titled “Clarice,” but it sounds like Fuller is still keeping that possibility on the table.
“It’ll be interesting to see what happens with the show moving forward, and whether…if there ever is to be a Silence of the Lambs miniseries with this cast,” Fuller mused.
You can watch the full hour-long Nerdist House reunion below.
riiiight. this place has been rumored to be going under for over a year now. surely the pandemic didn't help, but the brewer's table was unlikely to survive regardless.
Announced earlier this year, Audible and DC have adapted Neil Gaiman‘s epic comic series The Sandman, the first-ever audio production of the New York Times best-selling series.
This first installment of a multi-part original audio series will transport you to a world that re-writes the rules of audio entertainment, and it’ll be available on July 15th, 2020.
Adapted and directed by Dirk Maggs and featuring narration from Gaiman himself, Audible’s take on Sandman has locked down a cast that includes Riz Ahmed, Kat Dennings, Taron Egerton, James McAvoy, Samantha Morton, Bebe Neuwirth, Andy Serkis and Michael Sheen.
“When The Sandman, also known as Lord Morpheus – the immortal king of dreams, stories and the imagination – is pulled from his realm and imprisoned on Earth by a nefarious cult, he languishes for decades before finally escaping. Once free, he must retrieve the three “tools” that will restore his power and help him to rebuild his dominion, which has deteriorated in his absence. As the multi-threaded story unspools, The Sandman descends into Hell to confront Lucifer (Michael Sheen), chases rogue nightmares who have escaped his realm, and crosses paths with an array of characters from DC comic books, ancient myths, and real-world history, including: Inmates of Gotham City’s Arkham Asylum, Doctor Destiny, the muse Calliope, the three Fates, William Shakespeare (Arthur Darvill), and many more.
“A powerhouse supporting cast helps translate this masterwork into a sonic experience worthy of its legacy, including Riz Ahmed, Kat Dennings, Taron Egerton, Samantha Morton, Bebe Neuwirth, Andy Serkis, and more. Setting the stage for their performance is an unprecedented cinematic soundscape featuring an original musical score by British Academy Award winner James Hannigan. Fans will especially revel in a new twist for the audio adaptation: Neil Gaiman himself serves as the narrator. Follow him as he leads listeners along a twisting path of myths, imagination and, often, terror. Even in your wildest dreams, you’ve never heard anything like this.”
Check out the official trailer below for a little taste of what’s coming next week.
American Girl dolls are meant to represent every kind of “American girl” from across the country, past and present. In order to help the company achieve this goal, a guy who goes by Adam The Creator has shared a fake ad for a custom-made version of the doll, created to mark an unavoidably prominent demographic in 2020…
A little over three years after its launch, the cost of a base YouTube TV subscription has almost doubled. Starting today, new members will pay $65/month. The change will affect current users as of their next billing cycle (on or after July 30th). Yo...
Photo by John Rivera/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images
Photo by Tim Warner/Getty Images
Photo by Tim Warner/Getty Images
A little over three years after its launch, the cost of a base YouTube TV subscription has almost doubled. Starting today, new members will pay $65/month. The change will affect current users as of their next billing cycle (on or after July 30th). Yo...