Dinadirections

The Parks Department throws one hell of a holiday party. The Daily News reported today that seasonal female employees have allegedly been pressured to bare their...limbs...in order to secure full-time employment with the salacious city agency. The story is rife with choice quotes and mesmerizing illustrations, including a stock photo of a woman using a sapling tree as a pole upon which to dance. I don't think copyright laws permit us to use that brilliant piece of imagery, but Fair Use Blog Act of 1872 does allow us to extract some of the best written tidbits from the story: [ more › ]

The Cronut was only born a few weeks ago, but it's growing up so fast. Dominique Ansel created the half doughnut-half croissant in his pastry laboratory, and sells them for $5 each at his SoHo bakery (not a bad deal considering how labor intensive it is to make these). The city has gone so mental for the treat, that Ansel has put a limit on how many one person can buy (6), and has even trademarked the name.... you can't even say "Cronut-inspired." It's smart, but a bit ridiculous... especially considering there have been croissant-doughnut hybrids out there for decades. [ more › ]

If it comes as a surprise to you that posing nude for a national publication might follow someone around for an eternity, well, you probably haven't been paying much attention to the Internet. But one former Playgirl model says that even though his birthday-suit shoot days are behind him, he still suffered from harassing taunts from co-workers at his decidedly non-steamy desk job; now, he's suing the company for damages. [ more › ]

J.C. Penney is at the center of a new controversy.

Not because it hired Ellen DeGeneres as a spokesperson. But because a billboard alongside Interstate 405 near Culver City, California depicts a tea kettle… that looks eerily like Adolf Hitler!

Really, it sort of/kind of/totally does. See for yourself:

The item (from the Michael Graves Design Bells and Whistles Stainless Steel Tea Kettle) also appears on the company's website and J.C. Penney is yet to speak on the scandal.

We somehow doubt the department store was going for this subtle nod to the leader of the Nazi Party - but once you have that idea in your head, it's impossible to look at the sign and NOT think it resembles Hitler.

Hilarious.

Beyonce's belly has been in the news a lot lately, as fans wonder whether she's pregnant with baby number-two.

But the singer's rear end is now the body part making headlines, thanks to some idiot at her concert in Copenhagen last night.

The artist was slapping five with attendees while belting out a verse from "Irreplaceable" when a guy just couldn't resist: he reached out and slapped her butt.

Mrs. Carter responded quickly and cooly ("I will have you escorted out right now, alright?") and then continued on with the show like a pro. Watch now:

A sad and miraculous story out of China this week:

A newborn baby that was flushed down a toilet and discovered by a woman who heard crying inside a sewage pipe is now resting at the hospital and is expected to make a full recovery.

The unnamed child fractured his skull in the horrific incident, but has been upgraded from critical to stable as doctors continue to treat him back to health.

Said a nurse at Pujiang County People’s Hospital in the city of Jinhua, Zhejiang:

"The mother has been found. She is right now in the hospital. I heard she is a 22 year-old single woman. I don't know the reason she abandoned the baby."

The nurse added that many strangers have responded to this story by arriving at the hospital with diapers, formula and other items. Some have even expressed an interest in adoption.

The baby weighs 6.2 pounds and his placenta was still attached when firefighters broke off a piece of the pipe and transported it to the hospital so physicians could safely remove the newborn inside.

Local police are treating this as an attempted homicide.

The Hangover 3 reviews have been anything but positive around the Internet, while the film itself finished in a distant second this weekend to Fast & Furious 6.

But Zach Galifianakis has come up with a way to reverse the movie's fortune: he's shaved off most of his famous bushy beard!

That's right, the actor walked the red carpet of last night's Paris premiere with just a goatee covering his chin. It's a dramatic change for the star... but is it a positive one?

Decide now: How do you prefer your Zach Galifianakis?

James Lipton, best known for hosting Inside the Actor's Studio on Bravo and for recurring on Arrested Development Season 4 as a prison warden, formerly worked as a pimp.

No, really. An actual pimp. He reveals as much in the latest issue of Parade.

After talking about how he's always loved acting and how he grew up poor in Detroit, Lipton tells the magazine that he took on this unusual occupation in the 1950s in Paris.

"It was only a few years after the war. Paris was different then, still poor. Men couldn’t get jobs and, in the male chauvinist Paris of that time, the women couldn’t get work at all. It was perfectly respectable for them to go into le milieu.”

Into prostitution, Lipton means?

“Young women desperately needed money for various reasons. They were beautiful and young and extraordinary. There was no opprobrium because it was completely regulated. Every week they had to be inspected medically. The great bordellos were still flourishing in those days before the sheriff of Paris, a woman, closed them down. It was a different time.”

Lipton adds that he got into the business via a friend and that he doesn't believe folks should pay for sex nowadays.

"I think if you can’t earn it on your own, then you don’t deserve it.”

So there you have it. A reasonable explanation and a... WAIT A MINUTE! JAMES LIPTON WORKED AS A PIMP?!?!?!?

It's official: Jimmy Kimmel makes way too much money.

The comedian has apparently answered the question of Who the Heck Would Pay $1.9 million for a Painting of Bea Arthur Nude with the following:

I would! As a joke at the expense of friend Jeffrey Ross!

"Biggest surprise of my life. Thank you @jimmykimmel - the most generous guy in the world! #BeaArthur," Ross Tweeted yesterday, along with the above photo.

There's been no official word from anyone in Kimmel's camp yet, but the host apparently wrote back: "@realjeffreyross Bea is watching over all of us, but especially you."

Amen, Ross replied, while the rest of the world sighed, slapped our foreheads... and laughed hysterically.

Very sad news today out of South Korea:

A 39-year old man jumped to his death on Wednesday from the 11th floor of a building in the city of Busan.

He landed on a five-year old girl who was walking with by with her parents on the street below and ended up killing her, as authorities confirm she died hours later from brain damage.

The identity of both the man and the toddler are being withheld, while no one knows the reason he committed suicide. There was no note left at the scene or anywhere else.

South Korea, however, has highest per capita rate of suicide in the world.

Yup, it's actually a thing.

At least week's Hangover 3 premiere, the Hanson Brothers gave fans their first look at MMMHops, the boy band's amazingly-named signature beer.

Why debut the brew at that event? Because the song on which drink is based (the addictive "MMMBop" is actually featured in the film).

So Isaac, Taylor and Zac strolled around the after-party and handed out samples, but a rep for Mustang Brewing says in a statement:

"The final recipe is yet to be determined. In fact, Hanson was in our brewery this week working with us on a pilot brew. They're great guys and serious craft beer fans. We look forward to working with them."

NOTE: We apologize for getting "MMMBop" stuck in your head. It should go away in 6-8 months.)

On Friday morning, Amy Beth Cavaretta gave birth to her second child in Boca Raton. What makes this a newsworthy event?

The delivery took place on the sidewalk OUTSIDE the hospital... and it was caught on camera in every shocking, miraculous detail!

Photographer Emily Robinson was on the scene to snap numerous pictures of the birth, as the midwife came out to meet Amy and ended up in the right place at the very right time.

"It was the first time I ever saw a mother be wheeled INTO the hospital holding her new baby," Robinson wrote on her blog. "It was the fastest, most incredible, beautiful, wild birth I’ve ever had the pleasure to document."

Cavaretta was especially calm and collected while her husband ran for a wheelchair, Robinson reports, as less than a minute elapsed between mother leaning against a wall in preparation and daughter being delivered.

The baby is named Sienna Grace.

Visit Robinson's blog for more photos of the incredible event - and let's all send our very best wishes to the newly expanded family!

Years from now, a group of children will learn that the only reason why they're around is because their parents were bored and decided to have sex during a terrible storm. [ more › ]

[Photograph: Grant Cornett]

Cigar aficionados, take note: this recipe makes serious use of your favorite indulgence. Smoke & Pickles flavors soft sugar cookie dough with chopped leaves, and the topping is a boiled down mix of molasses, coconut, and tobacco water. If you're a nicotine neophyte, consult the main recipe post for a breakdown of the best cigars to use here.

Reprinted with permission by Edward Lee. Copyright © 2013. Published by Artisan Books. Available wherever books are sold. All rights reserved.

Ingredients

serves makes about 24 cookies, active time 40 minutes, total time 1 hour

• Tobacco Coconut Flakes
• 1 cup firmly packed sweetened coconut flakes
• 1 1/2 cups brewed coffee
• 3/4 cup cola
• 2 teaspoons molasses
• 2 tablespoons sugar
• 2 tablespoons Tobacco Water (recipe follows)
•  
• Cookies
• 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
• Pinch of salt
• 14 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped
• 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 2 large eggs
• 1/3 cup sugar
• 1 tablespoon buttermilk
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 2 teaspoons chopped tobacco leaves (reserved from cigar used to make Tobacco Water)
•  
• Tobacco Water
• 1 good cigar
• 3 cups warm water

Procedures

1. Preheat the oven to 355°F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

2. To make the tobacco water: Peel half of the layers off the cigar and discard. Separate the inner tobacco leaves. Reserve 2 tablespoons' worth of chopped leaves to use in cookies; set aside. Rinse remaining leaves under warm water for 3 minutes. Fill a small bowl with the 3 cups warm water and steep the tobacco leaves in the water for 10 minutes. Strain the water and discard the tobacco leaves. The tobacco water will be quite strong, with a nicotine sting.

3. To make the coconut flakes: In a medium saucepan, combine the coconut, coffee, cola, molasses, sugar, and tobacco water. Bring to a boil over high heat and boil for about 20 minutes, until all the liquid has been cooked off. Transfer the coconut flakes to a baking sheet and allow to cool to room temperature.

4. To make the cookies: In a small bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, and salt and stir together with a fork. Melt the chocolate and butter over a double boiler. Allow to cool slightly.

5. In a separate bowl, whisk together the eggs, sugar, buttermilk, vanilla, and tobacco. Stir into the chocolate mixture, then stir the flour mixture into this batter.

6. Spoon the dough 1 tablespoon at a time onto the prepared baking sheet. Leave room in between for the cookies to spread while baking.

7. Top each cookie with a little of the tobacco coconut flakes. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes, until the cookie tops crack but the cookies are still soft in the center. Let cool for 3 minutes before handling. Lift with a spatula and transfer the cookies to a wire rack. Or let cool completely and store in an airtight container for up to a week.

A (not so) long time ago in a Parks and Recreation episode far away, Patton Oswalt visited the show and pulled off an incredible 8+ minute improvised filibuster centering around his ideal plot for Star Wars: Episode VII (which involves a melding of the Marvel and Star Wars universes, and, um, Spider-Chewbacca). Now, Isaac Moores has lovingly animated the whole rant into the nerdgasm video below. [ more › ]

If you get slapped with a $7 bar tab for a Budweiser, feel free to blame that bearded dude sitting next to you drinking a PBR: according to a recent study, cheap beer prices have been climbing, and it's all because of those cool kids drinking Pabst. [ more › ]

This week, micro penis owners all over Brooklyn were given a jolt when Kings County Bar announced their first annual Smallest Penis in Brooklyn pageant—the ultimate wet t-shirt contest for infinitesimal penises. We asked bar manager Aimee Arciuolo about what inspired them to start such a tradition, and it turned out to be based in some very personal experiences: "The discussion came about after I had an exceptionally fun and amazing romp with a man who was less than endowed—it was actually shockingly tiny, like the size of an acorn," she told us. [ more › ]

The Daily News is trying to get aboard the Exaggerated Trend Piece train (owned and operated by the New York Times) with a scoffing story on tepees, apparently the latest eye-rolling fixture in "hipster" households. [ more › ]

Thanks to the efforts of topless activists such as Holly Van Voast and Moira Johnston, New Yorkers (and the NYPD) are now well aware that all people are legally allowed to go topless on the streets of NYC (so long as their flesh doesn't incite a riot). It seems Johnston is expanding her awareness campaign to other cities as well, as you can see in the video below. [ more › ]

Although bed bug complaints and violations were said to be in decline last year, exterminator Bill Swan isn't buying it. According to Swan, NYC's bed bug epidemic is still raging, and he attributes the drop in complaints to an increasing number of New Yorkers essentially giving up, sticking an apple in their mouths and tying themselves to spits for the bed bugs armies to feast upon. [ more › ]

A female FDNY employee is suing the city claiming that she was the victim of rampant gender discrimination from her coworkers. Staten Island resident Eileen Dechbery, 33, told PIX11 that the harassment started when someone changed the name on her locker at Station 23 in SI from Dechbery to “Duchbery.” Then she claims coworkers started calling her that to her face, sometimes asking, “Who wants to work with douchebag today?” [ more › ]

Amanda Bynes has allegedly been on a bong-smashing tear over the last 72 hours ever since she was arrested for throwing a bong out the window of her apartment. This morning, Bynes took to Twitter to defend herself, claiming "I only smoke tobacco I don't drink or do drugs. I've never had a bong in my life!" But she has now made some very serious accusations against the NYPD, claiming that an officer sexually harassed her: "He slapped my vagina. Sexual harassment. Big deal." [ more › ]

[Photograph: Niko Triantafillou]

It's been a year and a half since Dominique Ansel unleashed his version of the Breton kouign amann on New York, calling it DKA (Dominique's Kouign Amann). New Yorkers have been clamoring for them ever since.

On Friday, perhaps capitalizing on the current doughnut craze, the bakery debuted a new creation that has all the hallmarks of another smash hit: the half-croissant, half-doughnut "cronut" ($5).

The cronut is made from thin layers of flaky croissant dough that are deep fried and then carefully injected with a light Tahitian vanilla cream. A thin layer of rose-flavored glaze coats the top layer. Purple colored candied rose petals add some crunch but also make for a beautiful garnish.

The experience of eating a cronut is very different from eating a traditional doughnut. For one thing, the cream is evenly distributed among the dozens of pasty layers, so you never get hit with a giant burst of filing as with say, a creme brulee doughnut from the Doughnut Plant. The extra layers also mean more oil-dough contact, so it's a more oily pastry similar to a fritter—a deep-fried dessert lover's dream.

Ansel says he will change the flavors regularly, with lemon maple coming in June and dulce de leche in July. These have sold out before noon every day since their debut on Friday, so go early if you must have one this week.

Dominique Ansel Bakery

189 Spring Street, New York, NY 10012 (map)
212-219-2773
dominiqueansel.com

About the author: Native New Yorker Niko Triantafillou is the founder of DessertBuzz.com. You can follow him on Twitter at @DessertBuzz.

What's more, when it comes to some nutrients, like vitamin C, canned peaches pack an even bigger punch than fresh, researchers say. The reasons have to do with how the canning process alters the fruit's cell walls. So eat 'em up!

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Amanda Bynes appeared in court Friday, offered a classic excuse for the antics that got her arrested last night, and was released on her own recognizance.

She will be back in court in July.

What began with a disturbance call ended with Amanda Bynes arrested for marijuana possession, evidence tampering and reckless endangerment late Thursday.

The latter two offenses were allegedly committed when she tossed a bong out of her 36th-floor window ... though she claims it was "just a vase."

Seriously, she said that. As for the pot charge, that stems from her allegedly blazing up in the lobby of her building, which led a doorman to call the cops.

Shortly after 11 a.m. this morning, the former child star showed up in court in a blonde wig, gray sweats and a baggy black sweater, looking blase.

That wig was also evident in the viral arrest video taken on the street as she was hauled out of her building, and in Amanda Bynes' mug shot.

Her lawyer, Andrew Friedman, said his client denies throwing a bong out of a window and claims that police illegally followed her into her apartment.

Prosecutors pushed to hold her in lieu of bail, but the judge cut her loose. Bynes told the judge to "have a nice day" and jumped into a waiting cab.

As for the insanity last night, the criminal complaint from the incident says officers responding to the lobby incident found a bong on her kitchen counter.

According to the report, the law enforcement official, wearing a "full police uniform," asked Amanda about the bong and the actress flipped out.

It's not clear whether her door was open or she invited the police in.

The officer said, "I observed [Amanda] grab said bong, run to the westbound-facing window, and throw it out the window where numerous pedestrians were walking."

Thirty-six floors down, on 8th Ave. and West 47th Street. Bynes was then arrested for reckless endangerment, drug possession and evidence tampering.

Bynes has a history of DUI and other automobile-related cases, not to mention provocative Tweets and almost daily media accounts of unusual behavior.

Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of the products, share your thoughts in the comments.

Pop-Tarts have gone Wild! and now they’ve Gone Nutty! I look forward to Pop-Tarts Going To Therapy! (Spotted by Jesse at Shoppers.)

Yay! With these Seattle’s Best Coffee Frozen Coffee Blends, my blender will be able to taste something other than kale-infused smoothies. Also, the Seattle’s Best Coffee logo freaks me out. It looks like an eyeless Muppet trying to eat me. (Spotted by Charmi at Target.)

I hope the “special” in Keebler’s Special Edition cookies means dark elf magic was used. (Spotted by Sara at Walmart.)

Special Edition? More like Mother’s Edition. Amiright! High-five with those of you who know cookie companies really well! (Spotted by Sara at Walmart.)

Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments.

Damn skippy! Oh, no…I’m not amazed Skippy has a peanut spread with dark chocolate, I just like to write the same way your great grandpa talks. (Spotted by Deanna at Walmart.)

If Betty Crocker’s first Target exclusive cookie mix and frosting flavor is cotton candy, I hope another fair food ends up as the second. Preferably, a deep fried fair food. (Spotted by Richard at Target.)

I guarantee, as you’re reading this, there’s a baking blog owner somewhere who’s putting these Jet-Puffed MallowBites Chocolate Brownie Marshmallows into a brownie mix, taking photos of every step, and plans to post the photos and recipe on their blog tomorrow. (Spotted by Sara at Walmart.)

According to Chobani, I’m supposed to flip for these new yogurts. Well, to be honest, it’s just yogurt with toppings, so it’s not that special to me. The only way I’d flip for Chobani Flip is if there was a liquid spill in front of the Chobani section of the dairy case. Oh wait. That wouldn’t be a flip; it would be a slip. (Spotted by Charmi at Target.)

Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

We’re the Millers stars Jennifer Aniston as a stripper. Fortunately (or sadly, depending on your point of view), this is not the entire basis for the movie.

A family vacation movie and stoner comedy all rolled into one, Millers stars Jason Sudeikis as a small-time drug dealer who gets in over his head.

His character must smuggle 1,500 kilos of marijuana across the Mexican border, and thus, hires a fake family to travel via RV with him and the weed.

To avoid detection from cops and look totally normal, obviously.

A stripper (Aniston) stands in as his wife, a homeless teen (Emma Roberts) and his neighbor (Will Poulter) play his kids in his mission for the kingpin (Ed Helms).

Think We're the Millers looks worthwhile? Comment below!

Katherine Webb is no longer a contestant on Splash.

But the model is still making waves.

In an interview with People, Webb - who sky-rocketed to fame in January after ABC cameras caught her in the stands of the BCS Title Game - said she subsists on 1,120 calories per day. Total.

Katherine Webb bikini photos are very attractive. But they come at a dietary cost.

How does she possibly accomplish such a scant goal?

Webb lists her typical menu as including a smoothie for breakfast; an apple for a snack; some kind of salad for lunch; a yogurt bar; and grilled chicken for dinner.

And if she's preparing for a shoot of some kind?

"I cut out any type of bread product, and cake, cookies, bagels," she says, though she allows for the occasional indulgence of Buffalo wings of French fries... but then is sure to burn those off during one of her three weekly workouts.

"I try my hardest not to stress myself out," she says. "If I find myself thinking too much about what I eat, then I go crazy."

Sounds like it's way too late for that, Kat. We have four words for you: Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie Recipe. Trust us. You'll still look good in a two-piece.

Amanda Bynes was arrested Thursday night in New York City, to the shock of no one.

Police were called to her Manhattan apartment on suspicion of disorderly conduct. It's unclear who called them, but Bynes was behaving strangely (big surprise)

When officers arrived, they witnessed her throw a bong out of her 36th floor window.

Amanda Bynes, 27, was taken to New York's Roosevelt Hospital for a psychiatric evaluation, before getting taken to a Midtown police station.

The star, whose antics have become legendarily odd, was charged with reckless endangerment, marijuana possession, and felony tampering with evidence.

The endangerment and tampering occurred when she allegedly threw the bong out of her apartment window, law enforcement officials say.

Amanda, who slammed a recent report alleging she is off the rails, went BALLISTIC during the arrest, yelling, "Don't you know who I am?"

Police sources confirm that she was briefly evaluated at the hospital but was then arrested and jailed. She will go before a judge Friday morning.

The troubled star has been exhibiting bizarre behavior for the past few months, as anyone who follows her on Twitter and Instagram well knows.

She is already on three years probation for driving with a suspended license, and was recently denied entry on a private jet because she has no ID.

Bynes is also still facing a DUI charge from April 2012. 

Story developing ...