My friend asked a question about my blog yesterday -- what about God's favor, she wondered, what do we do with those scriptures?

Her question has been rattling around in my head for almost 24 hours. And as such, I think I need a follow-up: I wonder, did that bowl game QB think he was victorious because he had found favor in the eyes of the Lord?

What exactly is favor? What does it mean to find favor with the Lord?

My dictionary defines favor as "an attitude of approval or liking."

My Biblical concordance in the English Standard Version only listed six instances of the word (NIV had many more.) so I looked them up:

In the New Testament, the verses were referring to Jesus. Ah, I can wrap my mind around those -- of course, God liked Jesus, a lot. And allowed his death on a cross.

In the Old Testament, the first listed in Genesis 6:8: "Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord..."

I got tickled because I know what that favor looked like: back-breaking work building a giant boat for 100 years while being ridiculed from all around him. And that was followed by life on said boat with a whole lot of stinky, smelly animals and his family who may or may not have grumbled a bit.

Perhaps, our idea of favor is a bit skewed then. Perhaps Godly favor does not look like we imagine or hope.

Once upon a time a very young me believed that by being good I would avoid life's hard stuff. I assumed that the way I lived my life meant favor with God. And favor meant happy life, easy life, life going the way I wanted really. I bet young QB sees life the same -- live well, win ballgames. Sigh.

When my Daddy was diagnosed with cancer, I was certain my goodness would equate with his healing. It did not.

And while my faith was shaken, I assumed God wanted to use that in my life for some form of ministry and went right back to believing that my faith, my commitment to things good, pure and holy would save me from further bad stuff. Surely God favored me and my desire to serve Him. And surely that favor equaled charmed life, right?

So, when I got pregnant with triplets and was in labor far too early -- I was confident that I could pray my three babies to healthy delivery. I could pray them there. I delivered at 28 1/2 weeks, ya'll.

My babies spent weeks in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, and I am embarrassed to tell you that I was still so hard-headed. So stubborn in my belief that FAVOR meant no bad things. Favor meant healing and miracles and....happy endings. Always happy endings.

When the boys were behind in their milestones, when specialists were starting to banter the cerebral palsy terms, we were in the process of moving from Chicago -- where our church far out in the suburbs had made regular attendance with three babies a challenge -- to a smaller town in Minnesota. I believed -- oh ya'll, I truly believed -- that God was waiting for us to get involved in church more regularly, to start teaching Sunday School again and to get our toddlers involved -- and then, then he would catch them up and his glory be revealed.

In hindsight, and certainly on my computer screen, this all seems so silly. But I was so entrenched in my idea of a reward system that I could not let go of that. I fear those of us raised in church have a problem with our faith mirroring the reward system that we so often see in young Sunday school classes. Oh you know what I am talking about: you memorize a verse and get a star; you attend a month of Sundays without absence and get a certificate; you bring a friend to Bible School every day and get a new Bible at the end of the week.

And as a result you end of believing that favor means good things happen. You believe that finding favor means being rewarded...

Oh I am not opposed to stars. I am a homeschooling mama with a little one who loves to get stickers on her papers when she does good work. My point is this: When we look at scripture, God's favor does not exactly look like what we in our first world churches dress it up to look.


Let's just think about Noah's reality on that ark with all those animals. I mean, yes, his life was spared. But it was not an easy life, my friends. Not easy at all.

When our loved ones get cancer and die, it does not mean we have lost favor with God.

When our children face hardships, pain and sickness, it does not mean we have lost favor with God.

When our businesses fail, and our beloveds disappoint us, it does not mean we have lost favor with God.

1 Peter 4: 12-13 says, "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed."

James 1:2-3 says, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trails of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."

The bottom line is that I am certain we can not wrap our minds around Godly favor. His ways are not our ways. But this I know: God walks with us in our victories (Yes, young QB, God always has your back. But also the back of your opponents. Never forget that.); he holds us in our trials; and he grieves with us in our losses.

In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus invites us to come to Him and take his yoke. A yoke is a wooden crosspiece that attaches to two animals and allows them to work together, keep that in mind:

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Favor does not mean we will have easy, prosperous, pain-free lives, my friends. But take heart, Jesus says when we are yoked with him, he will help us carry our load.

And there is joy in the blessing of shared struggles -- and shared victories!

When you have boys…

every pair of jeans they own will look like this. Can’t we keep one pair intact for church? Nope.

When you have boys…

you house will be covered in Legos, at all times.  There is no solution.  All those neato storage solutions on Pinterest will not work.  They won’t.  They just won’t.  Don’t be fooled.

We wouldn’t trade any of this for all the hole-free jeans and Lego free houses in the world.

9/365

And how about a few random facts for your Friday?

1. I’m 1/4 way into knitting my very first scarf.  I’m hoping I don’t run out of yarn, because I do not know what to do about that yet.

2. Over the last few months I have had a serious aversion to grocery shopping.  Like avoiding it at all costs, if possible.  I’m down to the can’t wait any longer moment, so I am willing myself to go.

3. Our Christmas tree is still up, sans decorations.  We are on the slow plan this year, and we haven’t even cared.  My husband promised it would come down tonight.

4. I can’t wait for Sherlock to start back in a few days.  I’m really into this show, and I haven’t been into many shows in recent years.

5. I’m working on a website for my photography business which has been such a time suck.  I’m hoping to launch it next week, but I have had a few obstacles.  Two things I have learned in the process are 1: paying for design is worth it, and 2: I much prefer WordPress to Blogger.  My biz site is on Blogger, and I have had so much issue with basic things.

Ok…the grocery store awaits!

Linking with Photo Friday and Random 5 Friday.

The post When you Have Boys (9) And Other Random Things appeared first on Little By Little blog.

Steven: May I please eat a handful of nuts?

Mommy: Yes.

Olivia: Cannibal!!

Steven (singing to the tune of the Star Wars theme): “Cannibalistic, cannibalistic, cannibalistic, ca-an-nibal! 

And yes, this IS daily life.

Bean’s creativity! The level of detail he puts into his Lego creations and the stories that go along with them. He amazes me everyday.

So on Monday, I started the year with a proverb about circuses and monkeys.

Well this is why.

I held my tongue (so to speak) during the whole debacle. The year ended with every other story in my timeline being a comment about the ‘Duck Dynasty’ controversy.   And if I’m being completely honest, I stepped off of social media for a few days, because I just couldn’t stand the sight of it all.

But it’s been a few weeks, and in the world of the internet, a few weeks is a lifetime…

…At least it’s enough time to gain a bit of perspective. I held out on commenting on the story, because I wanted to see how the story would end.  I wanted to see if my quiet suspicions were proven right…

…They were.

Because it doesn’t matter if you were on Phil Robertson’s side or A&E or whomever.

We.

All.

Got.

Played.

And we lost.  This is why we are no better off after falling for another manufactured American Uproar.

The New Template For An American Controversy

How, you ask, could I say that the Phil Robertson controversy was so completely predictable?

Because, I predicted it.  

The whole scenario played out like a bad horror movie.  Somehow, the audience knows all the horror movie tropes, but the characters have never seen a horror film, so they die very predictably.

So I watched…in horror. It was completely predictable that Phil Robertson would make the comments he made to GQ.  The mag knew if they got him on that subject, he would make comments like that.  They predicted they could make a story out of this and sell magazines.

A&E knew the Robertson’s opinions too.  So of course, it was completely predictable that they would come up with a canned, manufactured statement with a bunch of placating buzzwords (as if they were surprised by Robertson’s comments).  If I were in the gay community, I would be just as offended by A&E’s canned, phony remarks as I would be over Phil Robertson’s.

Everyone, Over Here!  It’s a Controversy!

And then the dam broke and there came a flood of completely predictable statements from every possible angle.

Did anyone else notice that every news outlet simply summarized Phil’s remarks as “anti-gay?”  I’m not saying his comments weren’t anti-gay.  I’m just saying that any time a controversy surfaces, the lazy, copy-and-paste reporting that passes for “journalism” is rampant.  How could every media organization come up with the same adjectives by coincidence?

And every public reaction was someone “speaking out,” another term I wish would be banished, or at least rested.  And everyone’s version of “speaking out” was completely predictable.  Did we really need Sarah Palin to “speak out” on the issue?  Could anyone not guess Sarah Palin beliefs?

The feeding frenzy of public reaction told me that, like a plague of locusts, so many people were just using this short-lived controversy as a platform to grab some attention for themselves. There is nothing wrong with bloggers blogging and posting on Facebook and whatnot.  I don’t think any of us have reached that saturation point where people can guess our beliefs (or even know who we are.)  But the public figures and celebrities who feel the constant need to tell us what they think makes me unplug and shut down all my lines of communication.

Turns Out, It Was Just About Money

Things continued to unfold completely predictably.  I was not surprised when Facebook pages supporting Robertson got hundreds of thousands of Likes.  I was not surprised when people started watching the show to “stand with Phil.”  I was not surprised because Christians showed the same kind of mass-motivation to show up to Chik-Fil-A (as if that accomplished anything of value.)

But what was sadly the most predictable is the utter and complete lack of true principle that so many corporations revealed over the issue.

Take Cracker Barrel for instance.  They immediately tweeted that they were pulling all their ‘Duck Dynasty’ crap off their shelves.  Okay, fine.  Oh, but wait, because just a couple of days later, they reversed their decision, saying they “made a mistake.”

No, they didn’t “make a mistake.”  They just didn’t have the guts to follow through on their decision when a bunch of customers yelled at them.  They revealed that as a corporation, they don’t believe anything, except whatever will make the most money and produce the least amount of public scrutiny.

Meanwhile, A&E publicly “distanced” themselves from the Robertsons, but ran a veritable ‘Duck Dynasty’ marathon.  Why?  Because suddenly the hottest show on cable is ten times hotter.  The only thing I got wrong was how quickly it would end.  I didn’t think Phil Robertson’s public whipping would end so quickly.  But he’s back on the show (as if he ever left) and now more people are watching than ever.

And in my gut, I think it was part of the plan all along.  The controversy fed on Americans’ prejudices and fears, whipped us into a frenzy, and the best part for A&E is that no matter what happened, they would win.  Because in the end, it’s not about principles.  It’s just about money.  And we are not better, but worse for letting ourselves get played again.

What do you think?  Was the whole controversy contrived and manufactured?  What was the most shocking part of the story to you?

Sharing is what friends do:

I don’t think any commentary on the book of Psalms will actually have a section entitled Revenge Psalms, but they exist. I decided to memorize one last year. Mind you, I didn’t realize at the time that it was a revenge Psalm. It starts out so innocently, so sweetly: “I love you, O Lord, my strength.”

Yes, I thought, that’s a Psalm for me. I had underlined a few other verses further down such as “He makes my feet like hinds feet/And sets me upon my high places.” Well, who wouldn’t want to memorize that verse? Or how about “The LORD lives and blessed be my rock/And exalted be the God of my salvation.”

Great! So I settled down to memorize Psalm 18. Except, the strength David was talking about and the salvation he was referring to were quite literal. He wanted physical strength to overcome his enemies and he wanted God’s intervention to save him from people who wanted to kill him. If I’d read the intro, I would have realized this.

For the choir director. A Psalm of David, the servant of the Lord, who spoke to the Lord the words of this song in the day that the Lord delivered him from the hand of all his enemies and from the hand of Saul. And he said…

I think verse 3 encapsulates the Psalm: “I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised,/And I am saved from my enemies.”

No doubt about it. David had enemies and he needed to be saved from them. But the Psalm gets pretty graphic later on:

I pursued my enemies and overtook them,
And I did not turn back until they were consumed.
I shattered them, so that they were not able to rise;
They fell under my feet.
For You have girded me with strength for battle;
You have subdued under me those who rose up against me.
You have also made my enemies turn their backs to me,
And I destroyed those who hated me.
They cried for help, but there was none to save,
Even to the LORD, but He did not answer them.
Then I beat them fine as the dust before the wind;
I emptied them out as the mire of the streets.

I don’t know about you, but I confess to having problems with the not turning-back-until-they-were-consumed part, the shattering-so-they-were-not-able-to-rise, the destroying-those-who-hated-me, the beating-them-fine-as-the-dust-before-the-wind, and the emptying-them-out-as-the-mire-of-the-streets. It’s all so vengeful.

It reminds me of the modern Middle East with the ongoing battles between Jews and Palestinians, Sunnis and Shiites, insurgents and government forces. People are hating and fighting and praying for rescue, only to turn around and destroy those who were trying to destroy them.

I get that, when we’re talking about peoples who haven’t heard of the love of God, I ought not expect them to act according to the grace and mercy God gives. But when the same kind of attitude crops up in the Bible, it throws me. It’s one thing for God to exercise His just judgment against sinners, but when David talks in such unforgiving tones, I feel a little shocked.

But then I remember the short verse tucked in the midst of all the shattering and destroying: “They cried for help, but there was none to save,/Even to the LORD but He did not answer them.”

I find that verse shocking on a different level. People cried to God for help, but He turned away from them! The Psalm starts out with David being the one who called for help. God didn’t turn a deaf ear to David:

In my distress I called upon the LORD,
And cried to my God for help;
He heard my voice out of His temple,
And my cry for help before Him came into His ears.

The next verses describe God acting, as a result, on behalf of David to rescue him. But those enemies who later cried for help, God didn’t answer.

I’ve got this impression of God that He’s always there for us, that He’ll always answer the cry of the needy, but apparently there are needy wicked who He will ignore. I mean, how could he hear and answer David and at the same time hear and answer those who were trying to kill him? Apparently God takes sides.

David, in this same Psalm, credits his righteousness with bringing God on his side:

The LORD has rewarded me according to my righteousness;
According to the cleanness of my hands He has recompensed me.
For I have kept the ways of the LORD,
And have not wickedly departed from my God.
For all His ordinances were before me,
And I did not put away His statutes from me.
I was also blameless with Him,
And I kept myself from my iniquity.
Therefore the LORD has recompensed me according to my righteousness,
According to the cleanness of my hands in His eyes.

I emphasized the phrase “in His eyes” because that’s what I think is significant for today. In God’s eyes, those of us covered by the blood of Jesus Christ are righteous. It seems then, that we can call upon the Lord to save us from our enemies.

Except, Paul says our enemies are not flesh and blood:

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. (Eph. 6:12)

So I’m thinking, maybe a revenge Psalm for the Christian wouldn’t be so shocking if we had a clear idea of who the enemy is. What if we prayed for God to rescue us, our families, churches, communities, states, countries, from Satan and his schemes, in the same way that David prayed for physical rescue? I think that would necessitate us viewing God in the same way David did:

The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer.
My God, my rock in whom I take refuge;
My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

Filed under: Psalms, Revenge, Satan Tagged: enemies, King David, Psalms, Satan

I love reading our local public school’s yearly updates.  It has awesome information that can be affirming and encouraging to homeschoolers. Let’s do a quick […]

Need more help homeschooling high school? Check out www.TheHomeScholar.com to learn more.

I tend to be hard on Job’s wife. I mean, who takes a vow “for better or worse,” then when the worst happens, says, “Just give up. Deny God and end your life.” It’s a brutal response to someone who has lost everything. But I tend to forget: Mrs. Job had lost everything, too.

Scripture gives us the impression that she was Job’s only wife, though many of the Jewish patriarchs practiced polygamy. Hence, the seven sons and three daughters who died where her seven sons and three daughters, too. We can postulate as well that when Job was stripped of his wealth, Mrs. Job was also plunged into poverty along with him.

It really ought not to be surprising, then, that Mrs. Job looked at the sudden destruction of all that had given her security and happiness, and fell into despair. What was she to do? Her husband was so sick he could do nothing but sit in the ashes and scrape his skin with a bit of a ceramic pot.

What did that mean for her future? Her children were gone, so there was no one she could count on to provide for her day after day or care for her into her old age. She was bereft of all that had given her stability.

In her mind, apparently, God had done this to her husband. Interesting, I think, that she didn’t curse Job, as if he was at fault. She had to have known that he was a man of integrity who revered God and turned away from evil. So the fault was God’s, she figured.

But what does all this have to do with worry? At its heart, worry is nothing more than fear of the future. What if X happens or Z doesn’t materialize? How will we make it if A turns into B? Mrs. Job was faced with the biggest questions of her life: how was she going to survive now that she was poor; how was she going to care for a sick husband; how was she going to live another day with a God who had turned against her?

But that was the critical issue. Had God turned against her? Some might argue that no, she just got caught up in the backwash of God’s dealing with Job and Satan. But that idea minimizes God’s omniscience, sovereignty, and lovingkindness for each person He created. Did He forget that what happened to Job would have repercussions on Mrs. Job? Unlikely.

So did God turn a blind eye to her? Not in the least. She and Job, I suspect, were much more of a package deal than we realize. Not until after Mrs. Job counseled her husband to curse God and die did he begin to rue the day of his birth (Job 3:1). True, his initial response to her was one of the great testimonies of faith:

But he said to her, “You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips. (Job 2:10)

But a week later he was questioning why he’d ever been born:

“Why did I not die at birth,
Come forth from the womb and expire?
Why did the knees receive me,
And why the breasts, that I should suck?” (Job 3:11-12)

Would he have reached that dark place of doubt without his wife’s suggestion? Impossible to know. But it seems clear they both came to a point where they were not looking at God and saying, in spite of their horrific circumstances, Blessed be the name of the Lord.

But that’s precisely where we all need to be, no matter what we have or what we’ve lost. God’s kingdom and righteousness are to be our focus, according to Matt. 6:33.

We aren’t to be seeking how to replace the 500 donkeys or to scrape up an army to go after the Chaldeans who stole the camels or campaign for storm-proof housing to spare our children–at least we aren’t to be seeking these things first. In reality, seeking God’s kingdom and righteousness might ultimately lead to a restoration of what we’ve lost. It did for Job. But first, he needed to see God as He is.

“I know that You can do all things,
And that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.
‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’
Therefore I have declared that which I did not understand,
Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.
‘Hear, now, and I will speak;
I will ask You, and You instruct me.’
I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear;
But now my eye sees You;
Therefore I retract,
And I repent in dust and ashes.” (Job 42:2-6, emphasis mine)

I submit, the only worry-free zone is the space in which we are clinging to God rather than to our thousands of sheep, oxen, camels, and donkeys . . . or even to our children or our husband or our health. God calls us to make Him our focus, and one way or another, He’ll see us through, as He did Mrs. Job, to the other side of the dark valley in which we’re walking.

Filed under: Job, Suffering, Worry Tagged: Job, Suffering, worry

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.”

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.”

I am regularly struck by the power of these verses. God always has been. He always was, is, and will be. And He created everything in existence out of nothing.

Not only that, but Jesus was right there. He was with God. In fact, He was and is God. It's all quite mind-boggling for this simple-minded gal. It is something I cannot wrap my head around, so I simply must accept in faith.

But this morning I read something that added to the profound nature of those verses.

So Jesus said, “When you lift up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am He, and I do nothing on My own initiative, but I speak these things as the Father taught Me.” John 8:28

Jesus is in the middle of a discussion with the religious leaders who are challenging Him and claiming that He is a liar. The whole discussion is worth reading in context, but I want to pull out a couple of things from this one verse.

First, notice how Jesus refers to Himself. “...you will know that I am...” Interestingly, the Greek does not include the “He” that we see in the English translation. It simply says, “I AM.” Sound familiar? It should. Jesus is identifying Himself with the God who told Moses that His Name was I AM. Yes, He is making that claim. Phrases like these are scattered throughout the Gospels. Our English translations add a “He” or change up the phraseology to make it flow. But Jesus is saying, “I AM.” Oh how I love that!

But there is another thing to see here. At the end of this verse, Jesus says, “I speak these things as the Father taught Me.” Taught? Jesus had to learn? The One who was in the beginning had to learn? He was not only the omnipotent Creator, He was also the omniscient God. Why would He have to learn anything?

In Philippians we read this:

Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Phil 2:5-7

I often think of the reality that He emptied Himself of His power and His glory. But He also emptied Himself of His knowledge. The knowledge that came naturally to Him. The knowledge He'd always had. He gave that up to be like us.

By His own admission, He had to learn. All the marvelous things He said in the temple at age twelve had to be learned as He grew up. He surrendered it all for us. For me. For the accomplishment of His purposes on this earth. Wow.

Oh how that encourages me! Oh how it motivates me! And oh how it overwhelms me. I cannot imagine emptying myself of all knowledge just to identify with someone else. Yet that is what Jesus did. The One who created all existence...the One who was in the beginning...emptied Himself and had to start from scratch, relearning what the Father taught Him.

Culturally, we get a “fresh start” every January 1. It is just another day on a calendar, but it is still a beginning mentally and emotionally. This year I want it to mark the beginning of a new drive to learn. I want to grow in knowledge and understanding as my amazing Savior did. I want to learn from the Father – and I can because of Jesus' willingness to empty Himself and open an avenue for mankind to learn directly from God Himself.

That is my heart for this new beginning.

Day 863 of 1000
Betty Blonde #29 – 08/26/2008

Click here or on the image to see full size strip.

There are only 137 days left in our 1000 day count.  The idea of the count was to track the last days leading up to Kelly and Christian’s graduation from NCSU as the culmination of our second start at homeschooling in the Fall of 2004.  We are still on track.  The start of this blog coincided with that restart of our homeschool after a three year hiatus during which Kelly and Christian attend government schools in Oregon.  The restart was for Kelly’s fifth grade and Christian’s third grade years.  I thought I would take a few minutes on this New Year’s Day 2014 to reflect a little about our goals when we started homeschool and where we think we are relative to those very earliest ideas about what we thought we might accomplish.

What we thought we might be able to do when we started

I had a year of homeschool experience behind me when we started up again in 2004.  I tried to put together my own homeschool schedule and curricula from scratch during that first pass.  It was a great year and we accomplished a lot, but it was WAY to much work for a dad with a day job to accomplish well.  I found that curriculum development, materials searches, and all those other things required to do a “from scratch” program was a bridge too far.  So, for the second pass, I knew that my focus needed to be on teaching, correcting, planning, and the day to day operation rather than all the effort required to develop and deploy a curriculum for each kid on my own, too.

How did we set our goals?

We set some long term goals very early in the process.  I would like to say that it was on purpose, but it really was not.  It was an outgrowth of how we did our homeschool planning.  We based our homeschool program around the yearly plans provided by Sonlight with the normal customizations most homeschool families make to meet the unique needs of their children.  I worked from the Sonlight materials to plan one or two weeks at a time.  It usually took me an hour or two on a weekend to figure out what I wanted the kids to do for each week.  It was a thoroughly enjoyable experience and I involved the kids in the process.

From the very beginning, I liked to look ahead at the programs for future years.  It dawned on me pretty early in the first year that, if we followed the plan, the kids would not have to be rocket scientists to start college a couple of years early.  That became our goal.  We wanted the kids to start a hard degree at a community college after their sophomore year in high school. The degree had to be a hard degree in something like math, statistics, engineering, or physics because that would give them a better chance at getting a good job.  We wanted them to start at a community college so they could stay at home and pay low tuition.  We wanted them to go to a Big State University after the finished community college for the same reasons.

How did we stay on track?

The amazing thing is that we did almost nothing to stay on track other than follow those Sonlight based curriculum guides.  We added ideas of our own, and then we just arrived.  The few things we added, like the use of CLEP preparation and testing I have written about so much in this blog pushed us even further ahead.  We signed Kelly up to start at our local community college after her sophomore year and through a fun and interesting, but hectic set of events, signed Christian up at the same time so he ended up completely skipping high school rather than just skipping the last two years.  I guess the best advice I have on this is to make a reasonable plan and stick to it.

So where are we now?

Kelly and Christian are both on track to graduate from NCSU this Spring with degrees in Statistics and Applied Mathematics (respectively).  We do not have any illusion that any of us are geniuses, but they have both been on the Dean’s list every semester for which they have been eligible. Both have applied to graduate schools on the West Coast.  We are not sure they will get in, but they will certainly be prepared to enter the workforce. It was the plan and sticking to it that got them where they are.

Reading time: About 3 minutes

This might sound like heresy on the momentous occasion of the last day of the year, but I’m encouraging you to ditch the resolutions and opt for rituals instead….

The lure of making resolutions for January 1 is practically irresistible. Lose 10 lbs. Go to the gym three times per week. Stop smoking. Start meditating. Save more money. Do a better job of managing stress.

But I’ve been thinking about resolutions this year and I’ve realized that I’ve been misguided. Despite my earlier entreaties to make resolutions I’m now inclined to think we should abandon them altogether. Instead, we should replace them with rituals.  Here’s why:

1) Ritual is a nicer word than resolution. It sounds friendlier and more relaxing. If I play the word association game “resolution” makes me think willpower, deprivation, pain and hard work.  On the other hand, “ritual” brings up: incense, bowing, fine ornaments and calm. Rituals are particularly important for writers who, after all, do something quite magical. Did you ever see the Murphy Brown  show, starring Candice Bergen?  I didn’t watch it regularly but one funny line has remained with me. Murphy had just given birth to her baby and was reflecting on the wonder of breastfeeding. “The next thing you know is someone will tell me I can slice off pieces of my arm and serve them up as ham,” she said. I feel just as incredulous about writing. Isn’t it remarkable that we can create entire sentences when nothing existed before?

2) A ritual is something we’re more likely to do willingly rather than resentfully. Because we can chose the rituals we follow — and we chose what feels right to us — we’re more likely to do them. When my husband and I married almost 25 years ago, we chose to meet all our guests at the door to the church. To us, this felt friendly and welcoming and, besides, I didn’t want the pressure of being the bride who is expected to surprise everyone with her fabulous dress. The ritual didn’t suit all of our guests but it pleased us.

3) Rituals create safety and security. We know what’s going to happen next so we feel calm and relaxed. If you’re a student and you have a ritual of using a particular pen to write exams, taking that pen out of your pocket or purse lets you know it’s time to write an exam. I once took a writing course from a New York based author who worked from his dining-room table. Every morning he’d clear off the table and place a half dozen tchotchkes on it — his symbols that the table where he ate his meals had suddenly been transformed into his writing desk.

4) Rituals allow us to take advantage of automaticity.  Once we learn how to ride a bike, we don’t have to think about how to maintain balance. Our bodies know exactly what to do. The same principle is true of reading. Once we get past grade 3, we don’t “sound out” words any more, because we recognize most of them immediately. This automaticity allows us to sidestep the need for willpower and instead, relax into our work. (Isn’t that delightfully ironic? The idea of relaxing into work?)

5) Rituals don’t require our belief — or even any logic — to work. Tennis player Serena Williams wears the same pair of socks, without washing them, through a single tournament. Check out this list of seemingly crazy sports rituals that nevertheless work.

Here is my writing ritual. Upon waking, I pull on my housecoat and quietly grab the clothes I’ve carefully laid out on my dresser the evening before. (See photo, above.)  I tiptoe out of my bedroom so as not to wake my husband and I go into our kids’ bathroom to dress. (I don’t have a shower or breakfast until I’ve done at least an hour of work.) I climb the stairs to my office, which is in a loft in our house, and put on the kettle for tea, a cup of cream of Earl Grey.

While waiting for the water to boil, I set my Action Enforcer  —a Mac-based digital timer— for 30 minutes. (Whenever my husband hears it he says the ticking sound reminds him of a crazy Tinkerbell. I never thought I’d be able to write with that blasted noise in the background; turns out, it helps me focus!) Then, as soon as the tea is steeping, I open the file for my book and I write at least 500 words.

I do this five consecutive days every week. Paradoxically, while the ritual is rigid and highly structured, it gives me a delicious sense of freedom and possibility.

In the same way a frame helps define a photo or a piece of art, my writing ritual helps define my writing.

What rituals do you use? We can all learn from each other so please share your thoughts with my readers and me by commenting below. (If you don’t see the comments box, click here and then scroll to the end.)

If you enjoyed this post you might also like:

What the Japanese can teach you about writing

The 7 habits of highly effective writers

More lessons from my piano

One of the first questions (rightly so) we get from folks who hear about our family’s move to Nepal centers around our children. Do your kids want to go? The follow up is almost guaranteed: Aren’t they going to miss being here?

And while the answer to the second question is pretty easily summed up (“Of course! We’re all going to miss certain things about home.”) that first question is usually a bit harder to explain. See, even before we were called to full-time ministry, our family culture reached far beyond the confines of the United States. We were purposeful in cultivating an appreciation for the entire menu of world cultures in our children. The next post in this series will delve into the how, but today, let’s look at the why.

1. Because God created the entire world, not just the United States. We live in a great country. There’s much here to admire, and even more to be thankful for. But we don’t have the market cornered on God’s blessing, or even on The Right Way to Do Things. Exposure to the larger world opens windows of rich discovery for our children. God made all sorts of people. He made amazing animals and landscapes. The US is a postage stamp sized sampling of a great work of art. Teach your kids to step back and drink in the full picture!

2. Because it’s hard to “make disciples of all nations” when you’re not even sure who those nations are. Every believer bears the burden of spreading the Gospel. For some, that command requires leaving home soil and traveling to those who need to hear the name of Jesus. For those families, clearly, a deeper understanding of God’s earth isn’t a luxury– it’s vital. But what if your mission field looks more like the corner playground, or the soccer field? A quick survey of nearly every community in the US, regardless of size, reveals a beautiful array of surnames from around the globe. Millers play with Nguyens. The Rosales family lives next door to the Dmitriyevs. The Al-Ahdals just joined your book club. God has brought the nations to our doorstep. How can your outreach to these folks be effective if you can’t appreciate them?

3. Because comparison can be a good thing. Our older kids are eternally grateful that they do not live in North Korea. They know enough about the oppression and sheer insanity of that country to know that God blessed them by selecting another location for their country of origin: one with freedom from a totalitarian regime that polices your every thought. This knowledge has helped them appreciate what they do have here in the US, as well as having made them a bit skeptical of “big government” in general– in a good way. The comparison things runs both ways, too. Each of the older kids can name specific things about specific countries that they “wish we had here.”

4. Because there’s plenty to learn from other cultures. Be it different forms of worship, incredible food, cautionary tales, the value of family, a respect for tradition … The list of take aways from studying the cultures of the globe are endless.

5. Because the world has never been smaller. While you or your child may never physically cross a border, your chances of interacting with someone far different from yourself are pretty much 100% in the current global climate. That neighborhood of nations I mentioned earlier? It’s real. Online forums, Facebook, gaming– these activities ignore man-made boundaries and create global communities.

6. Because you can’t fully appreciate someone’s story until you know where they come from. The world is full of brokenness mingled with joy. The old adage of walking a mile in someone’s shoes should be our goal when relating to those we have the privilege of sharing life with– even if that connection is brief.

7. Because it connects the dots. Learning about the history and events in other places weaves together the ends of the overarching story of God’s plan. Knowing who built the Taj Mahal and why isn’t just fodder for Jeopardy points. Putting the pieces of history in correct order points to Christ and the universal need for him– no matter what language you speak.

What other benefits do you see from giving children a global perspective?

This is not a free speech issue.

Last night I couldn’t help but notice the flood of outrage on my Facebook page against cable giant A&E’s suspension of Phil Robertson from the show, Duck Dynasty. Phil said some utterly unremarkable things about homosexuality and sin, and the next thing you know, his employers are refusing to air his face to millions of people until he recants. You all know the story, so I won’t get into details. I’m more interested in the reactions of the Christians than that of A&E.

After a few highly emotive posts from Christians who were just stunned to see a liberal cable channel respond pretty much the only way one could expect them to respond to the wishes of other liberal groups such as GLADD–they disassociated themselves with Phil–I couldn’t help myself anymore. I started arguing. With the Christians. (Yes, my non-Christian friends, you should laugh at this. My Christian friends don’t like me very much, either, sometimes. Seems I can’t please anybody.)

I don’t know why I even need to say it, but this is not a free speech problem. Nobody dragged Phil Robertson into court or otherwise infringed on his rights at all. He merely exercised his rights, and now they are exercising theirs. I understand the feeling that our people are being persecuted, my brothers. I really do. But they are being reviled for Christ’s name sake.

But Jesus said not to be surprised when  the world hates you. He said, in fact, that you are blessed for it.

We should be proud of Phil, yes! But we should also be completely unsurprised and not even remotely outraged that the World is doing what the World always does. And, in fact, until Christ returns to sort this all out, what we should do is to humbly accept such treatment as our lot in life. You’re not counting it all joy. You’re acting like a bunch of carnal people, pushing and shoving for your “rightful” place in the social and political sphere. We’re not being meek, or allowing A&E their right to do business with whomever they please, or praying for them. No, we’re going to be angry, and outraged, and demand our “right” to have them serve us. This is no different than the way the gay rights movement has demanded their “right” for Christian photographers and bakers to serve gays against their will.

Y’all, this isn’t how people are saved. This is how people are alienated.

In fact, Christians, some of you are the ones being the tyrants. Put the shoe on the other foot for a moment. Let’s say you have a blog, and it’s fairly successful. So successful, in fact, that you can get all sorts of interesting people to blog for you. Martha Stewart even has a weekly make-a-home-so-perfect-your-children-will-be-psychologically-damaged-for-life feature on your blog. You have editorial discretion to cut out the weird, unChristian things she says, and you do. You both make millions, and you’re both happy with the arrangement. Then one day she gets on Oprah and really cuts loose on those tasteless evangelical Christians, and how wrong they are for using crackers for communion when they should obviously be doing it the tasteful home-baked Martha Stewart way. She gets really offensive and blasphemes Christ while making her statements, and so you suspend her weekly feature. You simply can’t associate with this.

Now all of a sudden, liberals and atheists and tasteful bread-bakers alike are all jumping down your throat to give Martha back her column because FREEDOM OF SPEECH, DUDE! But this is your blog. It is your right to hire and fire whomever you please.

Friends, the Robertsons are going to be OK. I suspect they will not be among those clamoring for their “rights” in this case. They seem to be a little bit more level-headed than most people on Facebook, at least. If they lose everything because of their faith (which seems unlikely at this point), they are still going to be OK. They have Jesus. Pray for the suits at A&E. Pray for those who don’t understand the depths of sin they are in. Pray for those who persecute you. Jesus said “Pray.” Jesus said “Rejoice.”

Don’t hold your desire to watch a television show to be more important than the rights of those who would have to produce it against their will, no matter how wrong their reason for exercising that right.

Don’t petition.

Don’t chatter.

Don’t despise.

Just pray.

Just rejoice.

Disclaimer: The only things I know about Duck Dynasty, I’ve learned on Facebook and through an Operation Christmas Child video that was kinda cute. I like these folks, as far as I can tell, but I don’t know anything about their doctrine, off-screen life, or business. Please don’t educate me further on their not-so-celebrity lifestyle, though, because I really don’t care all that much.

 

Phil Robertson, A&E, and Free Speech is a post from: Get Along Home

It's always sad when a kid dies, but Ohio State Senator Capri Cafaro (D) wasted no time putting that to good political use.  She's sponsored legislation that ensures that every potential homeschooling family will be subject to intense and likely unconstitutional state scrutiny.

Lest you think I'm exaggerating, I'm posting a link to the actual text of the proposed legislation.  Within five days of a parent expressing a wish to withdraw a public school child to homeschool, social services is to arrive to interview every family member.  Separately.

 Homeschool Legal Defense Association calls this the "worst-ever homeschool law"and guess what?  It gets worse.

Social services may "recommend" that you be allowed to homeschool your own child, but if they don't, you'll be required to submit to the state's intervention services.  These can include classes on how to budget your money (!?), behavioural counselling sessions, and lessons on homeschooling.

And if you're recommended for the special "intervention" classes, they get to decide when you're finished. Furthermore, the superintendent has wide latitude to impose additional criteria on any homeschool family in his jurisdiction.  Just because.  Go read the proposed bill's text if you don't believe me.

In any event, the state will retain all your information in a handy-dandy little database. 

I don't think this bill is even about protecting children from abuse, do you? 


Edited to add this update from the "Teddy's Law" facebook page:  I will be posting a statement from senator Capri Cafaro on our withdrawing senate bill 248. I am sorry everything has become this way. We will continue our fight against child abuse. At this time Teddy's Law is done responding to questions and comments. And anyone who supports Teddy's Law I would urge the same.

I would like to apologize to Teddy for all of this. Our vision was to protect children from abuse and carry on his memory. This was about him and was never intended to be political.

Thanks for your understanding.

Shawn Tedesco and the Teddy Law Team

I’ve had something on my heart for a while now. I see so much debate among Christians about whether or not xyz is a sin, or if it’s allowed, and if so, how much…

• Is it really a sin to watch an unwholesome TV show? Is it a sin to read unsavory books (such as 50 shades of gray)
• In dating relationships, how far is “too far”?
• If you’re drinking, how much is “okay”?

And on and on the list goes until we are so divided that we can’t agree on anything. And the problem remains. The argument is usually “the Bible doesn’t really say that’s a sin, so under grace we should be able to do it.”

A Cheap Imitation

Too often, we seem to be chasing after a cheap imitation of the world. In nearly every instance where the subject of sin comes up, the goal seems to be to get AsCloseAsPossible to sin, without actually sinning. The problem here is that our focus, our desire is still on the sin. We feel deprived without it. We’re bothered by the fact that we can’t have it. We want to get as close to it as possible.

I heard the theme song from the Grinch movie recently, and this line struck me, “I wouldn’t touch you with a 39 1/2 ft. pole.” The Grinch was a mean, bad character and the author/singer didn’t want anything to do with him.

Sin is bad, people. It’s so bad that Jesus Christ came to DIE so that we could be freed from it’s clutches!

Why do we want to flirt with it?!  We should be saying “I wouldn’t touch you with a 39 1/2 ft. pole,” but instead we are courting it. We are holding 1/4 inch sticks in our hands and hoping we can manage to not get burned by the sin we are so attracted to.

Cheap Grace

We say things like “We don’t want to be legalistic. We are under grace, not the law, so we can do what we want.” We cheapen God’s grace to serve our own pleasures and desires. James says we are drawn away by our own desires. And we justify them in any way we can. We believe God’s grace is powerful enough to forgive us, but not enough to change us.

But in reality, that’s what Jesus says He will do. We’ve all heard the often-quoted verse, “the truth will set you free.” But what truth? What are you free from?

The Jews said they’d never been in bondage, so how could they be made free?  Some of us might be thinking the same thing. As Americans, we live in a “free” country. What do we need set free from?  Jesus goes on to explain:

Jesus answered them, “Most assuredly, I say to you, whoever commits sin is a slave of sin. And a slave does not abide in the house forever, but a son abides forever. Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed. (John 8:34-36)

Jesus died to give us freedom from the bondage of sin! We cannot earn our salvation, and I am so thankful for God’s grace and mercy. But, we are called to holiness, and to be imitators of Him, not the world.

Cheap Faith

In the end, we are left with a cheap faith. One that doesn’t change us. One that doesn’t fulfill us. One that makes it nearly impossible to witness, because all we have to offer is a cheap imitation of the world and why would anyone want that when they can have the real thing.

Christianity offers far more than a cheap imitation of the world. But we have to let go. We have to let go of trying so hard to be just like the world that we’re just left unfulfilled because we have nothing.

What if we changed our question around? What if we changed our focus around and instead of asking, “Is this a sin?”…what if we started asking “Is this glorifying to God?” I think a lot of our questions would be easier to answer that way.

What if we truly sought to let go of this world, and instead grasp on to the Lord and His holiness and hunger for that instead of some kind of “fun” that we think we’re missing out on.

Reading Every Book

At what point in human history were there too many (English) books to be able to read them all in one lifetime?

Gregory Willmot

This is a complicated question. Getting accurate counts of the number of extant books at different times in history is very hard bordering on impossible. For example, when the Library of Alexandria burned, a lot of writing was lost,[1]On the other hand, a lot of Egyptian readers were probably excited to get out of overdue book fines. but how much writing was lost is hard to pin down. Some estimates range from 40,000 books to 532,800 scrolls,[2]The Great Library of Alexandria and other writers say that all those numbers are implausible.

Researchers Eltjo Buringh and Jan Luiten van Zanden used historical book catalogs to put together statistics on the number of books (or manuscripts) published annually per region.[3]Charting the “Rise of the West”: Manuscripts and Printed Books in Europe, A Long-Term Perspective from the Sixth through Eighteenth Centuries By their figures, the rate of publication in the British Isles probably passed one manuscript per day in around the year 1075 CE.

Most of the manuscripts published in 1075 weren't in English, or even the variants of English common at the time. In 1075, literature was typically written in some form of Latin or French, even in areas where Old English was commonly spoken on the street.

The Canterbury Tales (written in the late 1300s) were part of a move toward vernacular English as a literary language, although they're not exactly readable to a modern eye:

Wepyng and waylyng, care and oother sorwe
I knowe ynogh, on even and a-morwe,'
Quod the Marchant, 'and so doon oother mo
That wedded been.

Even if we know how many manuscripts were published per year, in order to answer Gregory's question, we still need to know how long it takes to read a manuscript.

Rather than trying to figure out how long all the lost books and codices are, we can step back and take a longer view of things.

Writing speed

Tolkien wrote Lord of the Rings in 11 years, which means that he wrote at an average pace of 125 words per day, or less than 0.085 word per minute. Harper Lee wrote the 100,000-word To Kill a Mockingbird in two and a half years, for an average of 100 words per day, or 0.075 words per minute. Since To Kill a Mockingbird is her only published book, her lifetime average is 0.002 words per minute, or about three words per day.

Some writers are substantially faster. In the preface to Opus 200, the prolific writer Isaac Asimov estimated that he had published about 15,000,000 words between age 30 and 50. His average over his writing career might have been around 1 word per minute, and at times he was averaging writing several thousand words per day. (Over his entire life, his average dips as low as 0.5 words per minute.) Some pulp writers have even higher averages.

It's reasonable to assume historical writers had a similar range of speeds. You might point out that typing on a keyboard is more than twice as fast as writing a manuscript in longhand. But typing speed isn't a writer's bottleneck. After all, at a typing speed of 70 words per minute, it should only take 24 hours to type out To Kill a Mockingbird.

Typing and writing speeds are so different because the limit on writing speed is how quickly our brains can organize, produce, and edit stories. This "storytelling speed" has probably changed much less over time than our physical writing speed has.

This gives us a much better way to estimate when the number of books became too large to read.

The average person can read at 200-300 words per minute. If the average living writer, over their entire lifetime, falls somewhere between Isaac Asimov and Harper Lee, they might produce 0.05 words per minute over their entire lifetime.

If you were to read for 16 hours a day at 300 words per minute,[4]For an average of 200 words per minute. you could keep up with a world containing an average population of 100,000 living Harper Lees or 400 living Isaac Asimovs.

If we estimate that during their active periods, writers are producing somewhere between 0.1 and 1 word per minute, then one dedicated reader might be able to keep up with a population of about 500 or 1,000 active writers. The answer to Gregory's question—the date at which there were too many English books to read in a lifetime—happened sometime before the population of active English writers reached a few hundred. At that point, catching up became impossible.

The magazine Seed estimates that the total number of authors reached this point around the year 1500 and has continued rising rapidly ever since.[5]Seed: A Writing Revolution The number of active English writers crossed this threshold shortly thereafter, around the time of Shakespeare, and the total number of books in English probably passed the lifetime reading limit sometime in the late 1500s.

On the other hand, how many of them would you want to read? If you go to goodreads.com/book/random, you can see a semi-random sample of what you'd be reading. Here's what came up for me:

• • School Decentralization in the Context of Globalizing Governance: International Comparison of Grassroots Responses, by Holger Daun
• • Powołanie (Dragon Age #2), by David Gaider
• • An Introduction to Vegetation Analysis: Principles, Practice and Interpretation, by David R. Causton
• • AACN Essentials of Critical-Care Nursing Pocket Handbook, by Marianne Chulay
• • National righteousness and national sin: the substance of a discourse delivered in the Presbyterian church of South Salem, Westchester co., N.Y., November 20, 1856, by Aaron Ladner Lindsley
• • Phantom of the Auditorium (Goosebumps #24), by R. L. Stine
• • High Court #153; Case Summaries on Debtors and Creditors-Keyed to Warren, by Dana L. Blatt
• • Suddenly No More Time, by Emil Gaverluk

So far, I've read ... the Goosebumps book.

To make it through the rest, I might need to recruit some help.

Pin It! One of my best friends from college days is a superb cook and always makes the yummiest treats. People are thrilled to receive her Christmas tins! One of our family favorite treats is peppermint patties. I've seen a few different recipes, usually with butter or sweetened condensed milk (and even with mashed potatoes!) but this recipe uses cream cheese as the binding agent. It lends a

Community Question is a category inspired by you. Here and there readers write in with questions that are better served by the varied, experiential knowledge of those who read and contribute in the comments. Please respond to this post in the comments, but if you have a question for the community email it to Heather.

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The following question is from Ryan K.

“I am a stay at home momma to a 3 year old and 1 year old girl.

Home school moms: Being insanely social and a COMPLETE worrier, I am afraid homeschooling is not in MY best interests even though homeschooling would be great for my kids. I am overwhelmed by the idea though I know it is our best option.

Has anyone had similar concerns about THEMSELVES, not the quality of the education you provide? I don’t want to go crazy!! Does anyone regret homeschooling?”

Does anyone regret homeschooling or have any similar concerns as Ryan when you first began homeschooling? Any suggestions for this Momma?

We are done with the official 36 weeks of Core A! We have a few weeks of science left and 6 weeks of LA. I have another post coming in January to discuss my plan until we start 1st grade (Core B) in the fall. I suppose we’ll call it another ‘tweener’ period.

Bible – We are not done with the bible for this core yet. We finally got to New Testament, it will go fast from here, then she can listen in on Ben’s readings again. Since Ben started P4/5, we also have a fresh set of bible verses to work on.

In history/social studies, we finished up our missionary book. We also read a book about Jungles, Mountains, and Deserts and how people and animals live in them.

For Read Alouds, we read House at Pooh Corner, A Grain of Rice, Five True Dog Stories, and finished up our Mother Goose book (which we really liked).

Reading / LA – Hannah made her goal for November Book It, we need to go get her free pizza. December might be difficult, we’ll have to make her read to the grandparents on our trip. We’re still chugging along, even though we are behind. She is really good at reading, but takes a lot of coaxing to do her writing and spelling. So I try not to overload her on a daily basis with those tasks.

Science – For some reason we really slacked on science recently. With our PE taking up two afternoons, its the topic that gets dropped more often. We finished up with transportation, ships and boats and submarines. Them moved into a space section. We’ve been learning about space craft, satellites, and started an overview on the solar system. When we did the sun this week, I pulled out our “They Might Be Giants” CD and played her the sun song. I need to incorporate more of their stuff into our school times! We just have the rest of the planets and other solar system things and then we have a little section on Isaac Newton to finish up Science K.

In math, we finally slowed down to one lesson a day on the days we do it. We’re into 100s place value, subtracting double digits, measuring, identifying fractions, and more clocks. It hasn’t been a big struggle lately, so maybe she is happier with a little bit more challenging material. Even at our slower pace, we’re going to be done with 1st grade math before we start Core B unless we hit some really difficult material.

Extras – Our PE co-op finished up before Thanksgiving and we’re on break until January. It’s been a good group for us and we hope to form some good friendships out of it. We’re still meeting with our other group for field trips and park days. I try to limit those to once a week.

Here is the link to photos of her lapbook. This is our way of documenting what we’ve done all year. We’ll still have more to add to it, since we’re going to have another 7 months of material!

All the photos for Core A work can be found here. It’s fun to look back over all stuff we’ve been doing.

Religion is the coordination of beliefs about the nature of existence and practices that are line with those beliefs. That one would judge a religion, for good or for ill, based on one-seventh of those practices is second in foolishness only to those who would judge a man’s devotion to religion, for good or for ill, based on how he performs in one-seventh of his life.

It is akin to ending a hockey match halfway through the first period, a football game on the second possession, or a baseball game before the lineup has batted through. One would not deem The Lord of the Rings to have been read adequately at the Council of Elrond.

Yet we will determine that a religion is good or bad because of weekly worship. We will determine that a person properly represents a religion because they perform well for an hour, or that they fail for not performing in that hour.

This does not make us wise in the evaluation and consideration of belief. Rather, it makes us fools, as the child who answers a question that is not even fully asked yet.

Right in the middle of a math lesson, the neighbors coming knocking at the door with their sleds.
Schools out till tonight  - loving homeschool!

I just finished listening to the 2nd Sunday of Advent message from Pastor Brian Zahnd in St. Joseph Missouri. He was not speaking about the shortage of men in church. But what he spoke on got me thinking about the question of this post, and the hand wringing it inspires in some church leaders. He spoke on Daniel's vision of the goat who would dominate the world, Alexander the Great, and the son of man who would prevail, Jesus, the lamb who was slain but lives, as seen in John's revelation. The contrasts which Zahnd highlighted between Alexander and Jesus were striking, but on in particular stood out to me. During one of Alexander's conquests he crucified 2000 enemies. Jesus, however, announced his kingdom, proclaimed its victory, by letting his enemies crucify him. Alexander's backdrop as a Greek was Homer's Iliad and it's violent hero Achilles. Jesus's backdrop as a Jew was Isaiah's vision of a king who suffered and died and was rejected to save his people. They both died in their early thirties and Alexander's kingdom long ago faded away, but Jesus's kingdom continues to expand.

Alexander's example inspired subsequent despots, men who were successful at warfare, destruction, and victories on the battlefield. Some churches preach a Jesus who looks like Alexander rather than stands in sharp contrast to him. Those churches attract men. Those men become what they worship.

A beat up, outcast, weak Jesus attracts outcasts, the weak, and the broken, men and women. Defeated men and women. Minority men and women. Unsuccessful men and women. Jesus tells a story about this in Luke 14.

12-14 Then he turned to the host. “The next time you put on a dinner, don’t just invite your friends and family and rich neighbors, the kind of people who will return the favor. Invite some people who never get invited out, the misfits from the wrong side of the tracks. You’ll be—and experience—a blessing. They won’t be able to return the favor, but the favor will be returned—oh, how it will be returned!—at the resurrection of God’s people.”
15 That triggered a response from one of the guests: “How fortunate the one who gets to eat dinner in God’s kingdom!” 16-17 Jesus followed up. “Yes. For there was once a man who threw a great dinner party and invited many. When it was time for dinner, he sent out his servant to the invited guests, saying, ‘Come on in; the food’s on the table.’
 18 “Then they all began to beg off, one after another making excuses. The first said, ‘I bought a piece of property and need to look it over. Send my regrets.’ 19 “Another said, ‘I just bought five teams of oxen, and I really need to check them out. Send my regrets.’ 20 “And yet another said, ‘I just got married and need to get home to my wife.’
 21 “The servant went back and told the master what had happened. He was outraged and told the servant, ‘Quickly, get out into the city streets and alleys. Collect all who look like they need a square meal, all the misfits and homeless and wretched you can lay your hands on, and bring them here.’ 22 “The servant reported back, ‘Master, I did what you commanded—and there’s still room.’ 23-24 “The master said, ‘Then go to the country roads. Whoever you find, drag them in. I want my house full! Let me tell you, not one of those originally invited is going to get so much as a bite at my dinner party.’” The Message

Jesus is for losers. It's not a message that can bring the crowd of winners, men who think highly of themselves. But it's a great song by Steve Taylor. I'd love to hear this every Sunday morning coming into church to set the right frame of mind for all who enter.

We had just taken the last load into Kristin’s room. I started the vehicle to move it into the parking lot so the parents of another freshman could park closer to the front of the dorm.

The radio was playing a Kenny Chesney hit, and it couldn’t have come at a more inopportune time. “There goes my life, there goes my future, my everything, might as well kiss it all good-bye, there goes my life ...” The video played in my mind, with a father standing in the window watching his daughter drive away. In my situation, I was the one pulling away, but the emotions were the same. The third one gone. Life would be different now.

As it should be.

An elder friend used to teach parenting classes. Years later, as her children began leaving home, a woman from the class told him, “You told us how to raise our children, but you didn’t tell us how to let them go.” He responded, “Yes I did. I told you to raise your children to leave.”

Raise them to leave. Raise them to be ready to face life. Raise them to be excited about taking those first steps on their own. It can be difficult for parents to see their children excited about leaving home. We want to see some resignation on their part, some sense that it is hard to go. This has been their home for 18 years; isn’t there some thread of sadness in them that this phase of life is passing?

But, it is actually a healthy sign that they are facing their future with positive expectation and enthusiasm. It means they are emotionally mature and are growing in their readiness and ability to be responsible, productive adults. Yes, it may take some years for our emotions to catch up with the changing circumstances, but they will.

Three thoughts helped sustain me during the years of the kids transitioning from our home to worlds of their own. First, this is how God designed it. “A man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). Marriage may not be the first thing they leave home for. More likely, they will first leave home for college or a job, with marriage to follow later. But, until they marry, there is still some sense of dependence on mom and dad, either for helping with college costs or storing twenty years of personal belongings in the basement. Whichever comes first, Genesis is still true: a man or woman will leave their father and mother to start their own life.


Secondly, my kids leaving pushed me back in time to my own departure from home. I was seventeen years old and traveled twenty-four hours away. I never once thought of how difficult that may have been from mom and dad. And, granted, that may be just an assumption, right? I know it was far less tragic on my brothers, as one of them got my room. But, my parents survived the transition, and I knew I would as well.

Finally, this line by Lewis Presnall in his book, The Search for Serenity, was encouraging to me: “The job of a parent is to become unnecessary to his children” (p.72). He didn’t say unloved by his children, or unappreciated. Rather, he said the job of a parent is to become unnecessary to his children. That means, our job is to prepare our kids to be emotionally, physically, and financially independent of us. To be adults.  Sure, we still want them to come home for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and any other time they are able. But we want them to stand on the two legs God gave them.

The job of a parent is to become unnecessary to his children. And when that happens, something unexpected and rewarding fills the emptiness in our hearts: we are now free to relate to our children as adults and friends, and our relationship with them takes on a whole new richness.

Warren Baldwin

I saw this on Pinterest the other day and I just couldn’t resist posting it here…

No matter where we go, we are always met with looks, stares, and questions. I generally don’t give it much thought – I smile, nod, and answer the questions. But, sometimes… well, I can’t help but sigh and roll my eyes.

Day seven on this stretch of breathing treatments, wracking coughs, swollen sinuses… bronchitis is not what anyone wants in the middle of Christmas. I can be thankful, though – even as I suck on my Ricola cough drops and keep my rag handy in case the coughing begins again. Last year, on Christmas eve, we all got the flu – me and my four babies – one after the other within a 12 hour span. I spent Christmas on fire with 104 fever and used a Luby’s half chicken to make broth and feed my poor, miserable, aching children.

To pretend that there aren’t any difficult times just because you believe in Jesus is just plain silly. We are all terminal. If you haven’t dealt with a blow close to home yet, you will. It’s just a matter of time. One day even those you love the most are going to fall asleep (hopefully in the Lord). There will be grieving.

I have close friends who are saying goodbyes right now to loved ones… or have recently said goodbye to more than one loved one. People that can’t be replaced. People that were God’s arms, wrapped around their lives.

It is hard to know what to write in a Christmas card to someone who is suffering. Maybe we would do well to remember that Christmas itself is a story of tragedy.

A girl’s reputation ruined.
A terrifying and collosal task given to two young teenagers.
New parents forced to flee for their lives and live in exile.
A self-centered and wicked king sending out a decree of death through Bethlehem…
…every boy two and under to be slain…

Matthew 2:18
“A voice is heard in Ramah,
weeping and great mourning,
Rachel weeping for her children
and refusing to be comforted,
because they are no more.”

I’d call that a Christmas tragedy. No peppermint or gingerbread there.

Scripture does that often – brings you to this climactic moment, and then moves on to the rest of the story… before your heart is ready to let go.

But wait! They killed the babies! It’s like that moment in Pharoah’s palace on the movie, Joseph King of Dreams where Moses is standing at Pharoah’s feet asking for him to explain WHY the Isrealite baby boys were drowned in the Nile… his face contorted in anger and disbelief.

But as life does, so suffering goes on. It is nothing new, this tragedy. The entire gospel is a story woven of tragedy… mixed with a great love that overcame death to bring us hope.

Ahhh… there’s the Christmas story we like to focus on. The gift of Jesus. Joy to the World.

But first there was a spoiled bed of fresh hay; labor pains. There was a bloody cross and a lashing that left the most perfectly innocent man disfigured beyond anything we could imagine. I’m not sure even Mel Gibson got it bloody enough in the Passion of the Christ.

The Christmas child, cradled by a brave young girl, grown in beauty and honor for this bruising… this cruel death.

Gill’s Exposition of the Entire Bible explains Isaiah 52:14 this way:

As many were astonished at thee,…. Not so much at the miracles he wrought, the doctrines he taught, and the work he did; or at his greatness and glory, at his exaltation and dignity, though very wonderful; as at his humiliation, the mean appearance he made, the low estate he was brought into; the sufferings and death which he underwent. These words are placed between the account of his exaltation and humiliation, and may be thought to have respect to both; and indeed it is astonishing that one so great as he was, and is, should become so low as he did; and also that one that was brought so low should be raised so high:

his visage was so marred more than any man, and his form more than the sons of men; though fairer than the children of men, as he was the immediate workmanship of the divine Spirit, and without sin; yet, what with his griefs and sorrows he bore, and troubles he met with; what with watchings and fastings, with laborious preaching, and constant travelling about to do good; what with sweat and blood, with buffetings and scourgings, never was any man’s face more marred, or his form more altered, than his was.

Yet without this disfiguring, deadly tragedy, we would all have been lost. Those tears we shed would have never been wiped away. All goodbyes would have been forever.

The message of Christmas is that God is with us in the midst of tragedy. He calls His Son ‘Immanuel’: “God with us”. God is FOR US, not against us – Jesus’ is also called “Counselor”, “Prince of Peace”, and the Lord states in Jeremiah 29:11…

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

The miracle of Christmas is that the God of the universe finds us (even in our sin, which is compared to filth) too beautiful to give up on. The tenderness of our Father in Heaven, the generosity and grace… that He could know the capacity of evil we as a human race are capable of, the pain we inflict upon each other… and still want to be WITH US and FOR US… that never ceases to blow me away.

By the shedding of blood – the affliction of Jesus, the hope of eternal life opened up to us. Tragedy gave way to an eternity without pains or tears. The worst loss of all opens the door to forgiveness, comfort, and healing. Nothing wasted. Not one tear.

And so we rejoice in the tragedy of Christmas and the triumph of Easter. We don’t mourn like those who have no hope. God is with us.

If your heart is heavy with the burden of grief or sadness this December, won’t you listen to the God who gave His Son to you for Christmas:

Isaiah 49:13-16…

“Shout for joy, you heavens;
rejoice, you earth;
burst into song, you mountains!
For the Lord comforts his people
and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.”

…

“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast
and have no compassion on the child she has borne?
Though she may forget,
I will not forget you!
See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands…”

The gift of Christmas has you engraved on his palms. The whole purpose of His birth, life, and death were wrapped up in redeeming you as His own. He paid the most anyone has ever paid for a Christmas gift.

May we know His love deeply, feel His comfort tangibly, hear and see Him move in our lives clearly as we wait on His return. This is my prayer at Christmas and always.

In His Grip,

Heather

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P.S. Because I’m sick I had to snag an older image from my archive (you might recognize it from a past Christmas post I linked up in the article). I’ll eventually get back in here and change it when I’m feeling 100% and have had time to actually decorate this year. Right now I’m just thankful that I might be able to put away the breathing machine tomorrow.

P.S.S. This post was brought to you because my friend Kirsten Oliphant asked me to contribute to her Voices in the Desert Advent series. If you would like to read the rest of the series, click over and join her on her blog.

And here's the Christmas classic from 2011... it's the third year I've posted it and it's still (sigh) necessary to do it again.

We all get "those emails" - you know, the ones where you are instructed to either pass the message on or forward it to five friends or whatever. (I've sounded off on this before here on the blog - go back & read my post, Forward Christian Soldiers.)  

And I got another one today.

I will be making a conscious effort to wish everyone a Merry Christmas this year ... My way of saying that I am celebrating the birth Of Jesus Christ. So I am asking my email buddies, if you agree with me, to please do the same. And if you'll pass this on to your email buddies, and so on... maybe we can prevent one more American tradition from being lost in the sea of "Political Correctness".

You may sit now, as I did, for a moment of stunned silence at this bit of ridiculousness. OK, silent time is over. Elton Trueblood once said:

“There are those places in ministry and theology that you must draw the line and fight and die; just don’t draw the lines in stupid places!”

Here are three reasons that the above email (and the philosophy behind it) are clearly one of those stupid places:

1. Please, please, please... any time you are tempted to use the phrases "celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ" and "American tradition" in the same sentence, you should use some of that cutesy holiday-themed scotch tape to shut your mouth. The celebration of Christ's birth is NOT an American tradition - it's a Christian tradition... and being an American doesn't make you a Christian, any more than walking into McDonald's makes you a hamburger. (Credit to Keith Green for that analogy.)
2. "Happy Holidays" is not a frontal attack on Christianity... it's an attempt by people (and businesses) to be inoffensive in a season in which there are two major religious holidays (one Christian & one Jewish), one cultural holiday (Kwanzaa), and New Years Day as well.
3. A methodological problem: email forwards and Facebook status updates tend to go to people who already agree with you - meaning you've created feedback loop of people who become belligerent about the way they wish people "Merry Christmas" because they're sure that everyone who doesn't do the same is opposed to all that is good & right in the world.

1. Stop correcting salespeople who are obligated - in order to keep their job! - to say "Happy Holidays". It's not their fault. And arguing with them or chiding them is not going to bring anyone closer to embracing the true meaning of Christmas.
2. When you say "Merry Christmas", make sure you sound like Bob Crachit rather than Ebenezer Scrooge. Seriously, there are some folks out there who spit the traditional greeting at people like it's a bullet aimed straight at their pitiful heathen hearts. If you can't wish someone "Merry Christmas" with a heart filled with Christlike love, then don't say anything at all.
3. Remember that the (gosh, I hate this cliche) "reason for the season" is Jesus Christ... not the preservation of tradition or winning the "War on Christmas". The Incarnation is about God clearly & completely expressing His love for us - Immanuel means "God with us". When we are just working to accomplish a cultural agenda, we are communicating the exact opposite message... what we're saying is "if you don't accept my particular way of celebration & the theological beliefs that go along with it, I'll simply stuff it down your throat."

Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. (Colossian 4:5-6, NIV)