After coming under fire for some earlier comments about Latinos, Crockett is working to narrow Democratic rival James Talarico’s lead among the key voting bloc.
1. I cried at work and my coworkers won’t stop asking if I’m okay
I work in a small office where there are some strong personalities and, though our manager is very nice and reasonable, there’s only so much you can do about people like that.
Yesterday, two of my coworkers (Mary and John) and I ended up having to do mediation with our manager over the pettiest shit imaginable. It’s so petty I can summarize the whole thing in one sentence: John walked in while Mary and I were prepping for a workshop, put a form whose processing is not my job on my desk, and when I asked him why he was giving it to me, snatched it back and walked out while ignoring Mary’s attempts to make small talk.
Later, John informed me that Mary and I had been bullying and harassing him and he had called our manager, Lisa, who would be having one-to-one talks with us about it.
I was so, so mad. Mary and John both use me as a screaming pillow when they want to vent or are angry about some new stupid policy and, since my workspace is by the front desk, I can’t just walk away since they block the exits. I end up smiling and nodding until they’re done. If I snapped a bit, then okay, but I deeply resent the fact that it became a huge issue worthy of calling the manager the one time I happened to sound anything less than perfectly pleasant and demure, when he’s allowed to be loud and shouty all the time.
The problem is that when I get really angry, I cry. Not just tearing up, but full-on sobbing to the point where I can’t speak. Despite my best efforts, during the talk with my manager (who wasn’t even grilling me or anything, just chatting with me to get my perspective), years of pent-up frustration with my coworkers broke the dam and I burst into tears. Lisa was very nice about it, but it was humiliating.
Since then, Mary and Lisa keep asking me if I’m alright despite me repeatedly saying that yes, I am. I just want them to forget they saw or heard anything and move on. I know they’re only asking because they care, and it feels really mean to just be like, “Stop asking me that.” Is this just something I have to wait out, or can I do something to convince them I really am okay and they don’t need to keep asking?
“I know it was a big reaction and you’re asking out of concern, but honestly, I’m embarrassed and would be really grateful if we could just move past it.” If you want, you could add, “I promise you I’m fine and, the faster it’s behind me, the better I will feel.”
That said … is there maybe an opening here to talk to Lisa about your frustrations with John shouting and trapping you at your desk to rant and so forth? I get it if you just don’t want to have to talk about it anymore, but it sounds like you have some legitimate frustrations that an effective manager could act on if she knew about them. (Of course, maybe she does. Maybe you’ve tried this enough in the past to no avail and that’s why you just want to be done talking about it, in which case ignore this paragraph.)
2. How should I call out for a general strike?
What is the correct way to call out on Friday if one wants to participate in the general strike? I’m still trying to decide if it’s something I can/should do (I support the cause 100%, just unsure if it makes an impact for me to participate from another state while working for an unrelated local government agency), but I don’t know if using a sick day is the right way to do it or if I should use a vacation day. I’m unlikely to be questioned about using a sick day, for what it’s worth, though I could maaaybe be straight with my boss about the reason and use a vacation day.
First, for people who don’t know, a general strike is when people from multiple industries (ideally all or most) unite to withhold their labor. One is called for today (Friday) to protest violence by ICE, including the murders of Renee Good and Alex Pretti; organizers are asking people to abstain from work, school, and shopping.
If your workplace isn’t unionized, then you probably don’t have the legal right to strike on your own without the risk of losing your job. A safer option if you want to participate is to call out sick. (Caveat: if a bunch of your coworkers call out sick without actually being sick, you do risk disciplinary action. That might not happen, but be aware that it could. In general, striking or participating in any form of collective action always carries possible risk.) Also, be safe and don’t use your company’s email or messaging systems to talk about this or to organize.
But if you don’t feel you can safely participate in a general strike, there are still lots of other ways you can help, such as contacting your legislators (if you’ve already contacted them, contact them again), donating to organizations doing work you support, volunteering, and getting involving in mutual aid work in your community.
3. I got stuck paying my own tab at a company party where they footed the bill
I work for a small company. Every year we vote on having our Christmas party catered or we going to a restaurant for a pre-fixed, set price menu, which is paid before. The company will not pay for any alcohol.
Every year, I vote for an in-office, catered party, as I previously worked in restaurants and saw too many fiascos at company parties. However, this year the vote was for at a nearby restaurant. The party went fine and my coworkers and I all had one or two drinks apiece. At the end of the meal, our branch manager (not the owner who had made the no-alcohol rule) generously went to the bar and paid the whole party’s bar tab.
But as we were leaving, the waiter chased me down and said I needed to pay my bar tab. I was confused, but I know mistakes happen and since my boss was not nearby me, I paid the $84, plus tip, and figured I would just mention it to my boss the next day. Hindsight being 20/20, I understand now that I should have questioned it at the time. But we were literally heading out and I thought it might embarrass my boss to put her on the spot.
The next morning, I mentioned it to my boss and she said that she had paid the whole bill and had the receipt listing every item ordered. She called the restaurant and they had no explanation, so I was still confused as to what I was charged for.
However, in her retelling to me of the conversation, she said something I didn’t fully register at the time. Which is that she didn’t tip on the bar tab, which might mean the waiter approached me to get payment for the gratuity. I’m still not sure, to be honest I don’t feel like the numbers add up, but if it my boss really didn’t tip then I’d rather just leave it, as I would hate for that to be true. But I’m also pretty frustrated because I feel I got put in a situation I wanted to avoid from the start and am now paying $100 more than my colleagues who voted for this option.
My boss is now furious about how I was treated (why did the waiter single me out, when she was the host?) and wants to go to the restaurant in person for an explanation. If the explanation is that it’s the missing gratuity, I’d rather just leave it, but I’m pretty sure it would offend my boss to say that. But it’s also possible that’s not even true. What do I do?
Let your boss go to the restaurant and sort it out. As the host of the event, it’s reasonable that she’s upset about an employee being charged for something they weren’t supposed to be charged for, and it’s reasonable for her to take responsibility for sorting it out. If that leads to the restaurant explaining that no tip was left, then so be it — if she’s offended by that, you won’t be the one explaining it. And there’s some value in her hearing that it’s not okay not to tip (and this gets it done without you having to be the one to tell her).
That said, I’m not sure this is about the tip — at least in my area, unless the restaurant has a policy of adding it to the bill for large parties, they couldn’t just hand you a bill for it. (And if they did have that policy, presumably it would have been on the original bill … although maybe it was and she ignored it, and that’s what happened?) Anyway, let her sort it out.
4. Office renovation disaster has led to more disasters
I work for a large company on-site at a manufacturing plant, with 2,700 employees at my location. I am an assistant manager in purchasing, so not directly tied to production. A few offices in the plant were recently renovated, but someone miscounted the number of desks needed. We wound up being about 50 desks short for our office of about 150 (oops). Because fewer desks were purchased, they ordered bigger desks, and some conference rooms were built to take up the extra space. We were making do with only 100 desks until work-from-home policies changed, which means we now need all 150 of those desks and do not have space for them in our office (double oops).
To account for this, multiple departments have been shuffled around the plant, majority being flip flopped between two offices. Office A has prime real estate: right next to the cafeteria and restrooms, elevators nearby, etc. Office B is halfway across the plant and walking through the plant on a “catwalk,” or pathway above the manufacturing floor. Office staff usually get the worst parking spots, so it’s almost a half mile walk to Office B. In addition, to get to Office B, associates must walk up two flights of stairs (an elevator is available), down a flight of stairs (no elevator), then back up a flight of stairs (no elevator). There are no restrooms or water fountains on that floor, so they have to go up and down 1-2 flights of stairs (no elevator) every time they need to use the bathroom. On top of this, each bathroom is closed for cleaning at different times every day, so some unlucky associates may be stuck doing a second 1-2 flights of stairs (no elevator) if the first is closed. Of course, our department was one of the departments that moved from Office A to Office B.
All 150 of us who moved offices had to pack up everything from our desks and carry it across the plant/catwalk (including monitors and standing desks), as we did not have movers in the budget. We did have temporary access to a freight elevator for the standing desks/monitors, but everything else had to be carried up/down stairs by our office staff.
Since we moved, a few associates had medical conditions pop up and can’t get to Office B with the stairs/walking through the plant. That means people either have to work in Office A away from their team, or work from home until they are able to resume stairs/walking through the plant.
This is weird, right? I imagine a day will come where an associate cannot walk to our office due to illness/age/medical situation, then what? I feel like I’m in the middle of a TV show and would love some validation that this isn’t normal?!
Correct, this is weird and not normal. From the original desk-counting mistake not being corrected once it was discovered, to expecting people to take such a circuitous journey multiple times a day, to being responsible for hauling your own monitors and standing desks across a catwalk (!), this is all absurd.
To your question about what will happen if someone physically can’t get to your office because of their physical condition, I imagine they’ll handle it like they’re handling temporary medical conditions now: people will be given an accommodation in the form of working from home or from Office A. So they’re complying with the law. But it is indeed bananapants.
Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) was rushed by a man during a town hall and sprayed with what was revealed to be apple cider vinegar from a syringe, the attack coming amid a broad surge in violence against lawmakers. What do you think?
“I hope this doesn’t make her afraid of all men running towards her with syringes.”
Will Tagle, Wiring Inspector
“You can’t arrest someone just because you disagree with their criminal actions.”
WINNIPEG, MB—Language experts are struggling to explain a sharp decline in Winnipeggers describing themselves with the whimsical short form, ‘Peggers. A recent study finds that the once-common term has seen a steep decline since the late-2000’s, in what researchers describe as “an unexpected kink in the data.” The study asked Winnipeg residents, “Would you describe […]
If you’re not acquainted, Claire’s father is the fire chief of Tackleford. We’ve never seen any of the other members of her family. That is not to say that we never will.
Senate Democrats and the White House came to an agreement late Thursday to fund the vast majority of federal agencies through the end of the fiscal year, and a two-week stopgap measure to fund the Homeland Security Department while continued negotiations take place over reforms at DHS.
Senate leaders worked into the evening to schedule a vote. It is unclear when the House, which is in recess until Monday, will vote on the measure.
“Hopefully, both Republicans and Democrats will give a very much needed Bipartisan “YES” Vote,” President Trump wrote on Truth Social.
The deal came hours after eight Republicans joined all Democrats in defeating a previous measure, which the House had approved with broad bipartisan support. It was set to coast to President Trump’s desk until Border Patrol agents fatally shot Alex Pretti on Jan. 24, leading to demands from Senate Democrats that more restrictions be placed on the Homeland Security Department’s immigration enforcement efforts as part of the agency’s funding bill.
Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, D-N.Y., subsequently laid out his caucus’ demands for DHS reforms, including the removal of masks by DHS law enforcement personnel, mandated use of body cameras, a requirement for third-party warrants to enter homes, the end of roving patrols in metropolitan areas by Immigration and Customs Enforcement and more uniform restrictions on use of force by federal agents. Democrats engaged the White House on those requests and ultimately negotiated a bipartisan path forward.
Lawmakers in both parties had expressed an openness to carving out DHS appropriations and passing the other five spending bills still outstanding. The package funds the departments of Defense, Labor, Health and Human Services, Education, Transportation, Housing and Urban Development, State and Treasury, as well as other related agencies. Under the plan, Congress would approve a stopgap continuing resolution for DHS to allow for negotiations to continue for two weeks.
The failed bill would have almost certainly led to at least a short shutdown, however, as funding those agencies was set to expire first thing Saturday.
With a deal getting signed into law imminent, the Office of Management and Budget could instruct agencies to delay shutdown procedures. OMB pursued such an approach in 2018 when funding briefly expired for agencies but it declared the impasse was merely a “short, technical lapse.” It advised employees to show up to work due to the imminence of a resolution, though the situation created widespread confusion across federal agencies.
I’m a (decently) new manager, and I’m struggling with one of my employees.
They come from a freelance background but wanted stability so they applied for this job, which is a salaried role.
Let’s say the hours are 9-5. We can be flexible with start times as long as it’s reasonable and we’re communicated with, but employees must work their full hours.
For some reason, this employee seems to think that when their immediate work is done, it is done and they can go home. That’s not the case, and especially not so because in this line of work, work is really never done. They have many colleagues who could use a hand, and there are other things they could proactively be working on.
They also seem to think it’s okay to just up and leave mid-workday without saying anything, as well as lying on timesheets. Somehow, they think it’s the done thing across the team (it is not).
I brought this up with them, but they were very defensive and basically said, “Well, my output is good, so I don’t know why you have a problem.”
I reiterated the importance of communication and fairness, but I really wasn’t convinced they understood and I will be having a follow-up meeting with them.
I think a big problem is that they are still very much in a freelance mindset when this job is very much far from that.
What do you think I should do?
It sounds like you’re falling into a common new manager trap where you feel like you have to convince this employee to see things your way, but you actually don’t. You just need to be very clear about what the requirements of the job are.
It’s preferable if they end up understanding your perspective and you can reach a shared understanding, but ultimately it doesn’t matter if they agree with you that these policies are reasonable because they still need to follow them.
So, for example, your next conversation with them about this should sound similar to this:
You: This job requires you to work a full eight hours per day. Even when your most pressing tasks for the day are done, you’re expected to stay and continue working on other projects. If you’re finished with your most urgent items, you should work on things like X, Y, or Z, or check with me for additional things you can help with.
Employee: My output is good so I don’t see why this is a problem.
You: This is the expectation for everyone on our team and company-wide. It’s a requirement of the job that isn’t going to change, and I do need you to adhere to it.
Employee: I just don’t see why this matters.
You: The role requires working full-time hours. If that’s not something you want to do, this job won’t be a good match. Do you want to think about it and let me know if the job still makes sense for you, knowing this is a requirement that isn’t going to change?
That framing — think about whether it makes sense for you to stay — can make this less adversarial and push the situation toward whatever the resolution is going to end up being. You’re saying, essentially, “Here’s what the job requires, it’s absolutely fine if you decide that’s not for you, but let’s figure out if our needs are compatible or not because they may not be.”
And then, after that conversation, the person person continues not to work full days, you reiterate that it’s a job requirement, explain that you won’t be able to keep them on if they don’t follow it, and tell them this is their final warning. (Before this point, you should be coordinating with your own boss or HR so that they’re looped in and you’re following whatever policies your company has about firing people.)
But also, they’re lying on timesheets? That’s a fireable offense on its own, and you need to make it very clear that there’s zero tolerance for that. As in, “It’s a non-negotiable requirement of your job that your timesheets truthfully reflect the actual hours you worked each day; you cannot misrepresent them. If this happens again, I would need to let you go. Are we in agreement that you will accurately report your hours going forward?”
There are many, many times — most times, really — where as a manager where it makes sense to be collaborative with people, rather than taking a top-down “this is the way it will be” approach … but this is not one of those times. This is a black and white situation that calls for you clearly stating the requirements of the job and the consequences for not meeting them, and then sticking to that.
Since returning to the White House, President Trump has significantly escalated his incendiary rhetoric, legally dubious policy decisions, and challenges to democratic norms. The Onion looks back at the first year of his second term in office.
After a decade on dating apps, I’ve decided to enter a different market. This is why I’m listing myself on Zillow until I find a good match—which, to my understanding, will be about forty-eight hours.
I realize that my late-’80s construction might not land me in the “trending” section right away, but I asked my friend Shelly—who hosts occasional RE/MAX open houses now that she’s accepted that her remaining doTerra stock will never sell—to vouch for me as “having a lot of character.” And let’s be real, even if I did have the personality of a McMansion, in this economy, lots of people would still put on brave smiles and call me “aspirational.”
Shelly was concerned for me at first: “Aren’t you worried about getting messages with intrusive questions?” But she met her husband at a Mumford & Sons concert in 2012, so she wasn’t around when we were fighting for our lives on the browser version of OkCupid. I had to explain to her that I’d already gotten every “Are those original?” and carpet-versus-drapes question via DM back when I was still on Match.com. Whatever people want to know, I can handle it.
More than anything, I’m looking forward to finally getting recognition for having good bones. I’ve maintained a steady intake of Vitamin D since the “Got Milk” days, and in my thirties, I’ve even learned how to use weight machines correctly. But do any of the gym-selfie finance bros think to swipe right to ask about that? Of course not. They’re all looking for a twenty-four-year-old with a super-low square footage and the same smooth beige walls. I’ve got texture, baby.
This new-platform move has brought with it relational questions I wasn’t asking myself in my twenties, like “Am I open to couples?” And my answer is yes, if I feel like they’ve got what it takes to take good care of me. Hell, I could even see myself being occupied by groups. I’ll be upfront about what I’m not zoned for, but otherwise? Tell me what you want to do inside of me, I’m listening.
Most of me is just thrilled at the thought of being fought over. For once in my life, I can let people come to me with pitches about why they think they’d be perfect for me, rather than messaging with matches who didn’t even bother to read my profile. I’m too old for “How was your weekend?” over and over again. I want a “How soon can I come check it out?” type of proactivity.
My only problems now will be keeping my showing schedule straight and deciding who gets to see my secret rooms.
Sure, I’ll do some basic manicuring to increase my curb appeal—maybe spray a nice scent—but that’s about it. I’m open to a bit of remodeling, but that needs to be on someone else’s budget. I’m putting myself up as-is to see whose interest it piques, and frankly, I’m not worried. Do you see how many of these listings get snatched up in a day with only one or two subpar photos?
All I know is, I’m never again going to accept an offer below asking.
Recalling being seen as struggling to keep his eyes open during that gathering, President Donald Trump insisted, "I didn't sleep. I just closed them because I wanted to get the hell out of there."
WASHINGTON—Pulling her aside at a Treasury Department event Wednesday, President Donald Trump reportedly asked hip-hop artist Nicki Minaj to explain eating ass. “Explain it to me, in the simplest terms,” said the bewildered 79-year-old president of the United States, who clasped Minaj’s hand and looked her in the eye as he urged her to enlighten him on the mystifying sexual act. “I know it’s what they’re doing right now. It’s the very hot thing. But what constitutes the ass? Does it feel good to the person who’s doing it, or the person who’s having it done? What do I do with my penis?” At press time, sources confirmed Trump was calling over Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and shouting, “Bobby, they’re eating the shit!”
“Ecstasy, as curator Glenn Adamson observes, is a peculiar and provocative word — referring at once to a drug, transcendent religious experience, and, etymologically, to being ‘out of oneself.’ It’s an unexpected but fitting lens for Wolston’s work, which expands design beyond the physical into the imaginative, expressive, and ecstatic. Installed at Dallas Contemporary across four catwalks reminiscent of a fashion show or drag ball, Wolston’s pieces are accompanied by his husband and filmmaker David Sierra’s video works, which pulse with movement and light. At the center stands a radiant portrait of pop icon Grace Jones, envisioned as an illuminated fountain rippling with water.
Wolston makes design perform in unique ways, transforming function into fantasy, utility into expression. His practice spans woven rattan furniture that reimagines figural sculpture; monumental terracotta forms carved and fired to permanence; lightweight aluminum cast from foam and anodized in reflective hues; bronze furniture treated with rainbow patinas; and handwoven carpets made in Marrakech, each alive with improvisation and energy. In Profile in Ecstasy, these elements coalesce into a richly layered environment where design becomes a vehicle for imagination, queer desire, and transformation. The exhibition revels in the wild, seductive force of nature and the body, drawing on Art Nouveau, pre-Columbian symbolism, and architectural excess.”
A work by Jaden McCreary included in “Growing Pains” at Pencil on Paper Gallery
“My recent work moves through the quiet terrain of subconscious thought; those impressions that linger, persistent and unspoken. Growing Pains becomes a map of these inner landscapes. Figures emerge fragmented, present yet dissolving, suspended in a liminal state: both self and symbol, grounded and vanishing. Against raw, natural environments, they mirror the architecture of my inner world, a world negotiating belief, autonomy, and the weight of taking up space.”
“Scrappy: By Any Means Necessary is curated by Jennifer Moore, featuring artists Hollie Brown, Ellen Crofts, Lisa Guevara, Julia Hungerford, John Le, Elisa Lendvay, Niloofar Mofrad, Hilary Nelson, Gyan Shrosbree, Jim Shrosbree, and Narong Tintamusik.
A scrappy individual will accomplish their objective by any means necessary with the resources at hand. This exhibition is a celebration of the many ways this quality of scrappiness might manifest in the artist’s studio. The word can be used pejoratively to describe an end product lacking polish and finesse — where the preferred final form would rebuke evidence of its process and the hand that shaped it, but risks sacrificing meaning and warmth. Artists embrace scrappiness for a multitude of reasons: imbued meaning, to hasten or simplify their process, to access the improvisational spirit of readymade and autoconstrucción, or as an indexical shorthand for the body. They tip their paper hats to Duchamp, Braque, Stockholder, Cruz, Villegas and Lucas, but also to the history of craft (quilting, scrapbooking and papier-mâché).”
June Woest, “Underwater,” archival pigment print, 24 x 20 inches, framed
“Weather Inside Out captures the interplay between photography, sculpture, and AI, exploring Woest’s experiences with the unpredictable nature of the weather by challenging the notion that we are helpless against it. Her works are an invitation to embrace change and find comfort in the unpredictable. The artist begins each work with a clay sculpture, created from a plaster mold, which she describes as an ‘act of intentional repetition that offers a sense of control and predictability.’ Then she documents these objects using photography, focusing on their form and the nuances of light and shadow, before handing over the work to AI with a single evocative command: ‘Fix the weather.’
Woest’s final prints capture the intersection between solid, tangible objects and ethereal, digitally altered environments, ‘a space,’ she says, ‘where we can hope to manipulate our circumstances for the better — not to gain power but to simply move with more freedom and purpose.’ For Woest, clay and AI are metaphors for human resilience and adaptability, a playful nod to a deeply human desire for control over our surroundings and lives — and the internal, emotional ‘weather’ we navigate.”
“Cleveland, Ohio native Chris Ireland will share his current research based on representations of family and personal experience through the vernacular of photography. As Ireland says, “The work probes my relationship to home, marked by the loss of its certainties and an overall sense of placelessness. Fragmented images, full of overlaps and distortion, like a corrupted hard drive dreaming of a place to return to.”
FotoFest has announced the artist commissions for its biennial exhibition opening in March. Global Visions – FotoFest at 40 will feature new work by London photographer Lola Flash, and Houston-based photographic artists Shavon Aja Morris and André Ramos-Woodard.
The commissions will be presented at Project Row Houses as part of its Round 60 exhibition, which will showcase photographic artwork and be on view from Saturday, March 7, through Sunday, May 10. Other artists featured in the exhibition include Tokie Rome Taylor, Danielle Mason, Jay Clark, and Stephen Clark. PRH is one of more than 80 Houston venues participating in the citywide biennial.
Lola Flash, “Let My People Go,” 2026; and “The Weight of Silence,” 2026, from the series “syzygy, the vision,” 2019–ongoing. Courtesy of the artist
Mx. Flash was a member of ACT UP, an influential New York City art and activism collective during the AIDS epidemic of the 1980s, and has recently received notoriety for a series of portraits of prominent septuagenarian women. For FotoFest, Mx. Flash will present recent work from their ongoing Afrofuturist self-portraiture series syzygy, the vision, begun in 2019. Their work has been collected by notable institutions, including the Museum of Modern Art, the Whitney Museum of American Art, and the Brooklyn Museum in New York City; the National Museum of African American History and Culture in Washington, D.C.; and the Victoria and Albert Museum in London, England.
A work by Shavon Aja Morris
Ms. Morris will present new work employing collage elements and found photography from The Result of Things Left Unsaid, a series of works started in 2024 that explores universal emotional experiences, “absorbed by women, softened into timidity, then self-silenced,” as described in a press release. Her work has been included in exhibitions at the Houston Museum of African American Culture, the Contemporary Arts Museum Houston, and the San Francisco Museum of Craft and Design.
André Ramos-Woodard, “GAINS,” 2025, from the series “How To Be A Man,” 2025. Courtesy of the artist
Mx. Ramos-Woodard’s 2025 series How to Be a Man explores masculinity, gender, and race in portraits, still lifes, and staged images. In a press release, the artist’s work is described as “deconstruct[ing] the symbols, gestures, and scripts that Western cultures enforce to suppress new horizons of gendered expression.” Mx. Ramos-Woodard received a 2022 fellowship from the Houston Center for Photography for their BLACK SNAFU project, and has participated in solo and group exhibitions throughout the U.S. Their work was included in the 2022 Interventions exhibition at the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston, and the 18th Annual Joyce Elaine Grant Exhibition at Texas Woman’s University in Denton.
To learn more about the FotoFest Biennial, celebrating its 40th anniversary, visit the FotoFest website.
I’m the person who was angry about an Instagram post from the nonprofit that I was volunteering at. Duncan and Isadora did leave the board, although they still volunteered on a lower level. You mentioned that the nonprofit might not have great results towards its mission, and the truth is that the results are mixed. The organization’s goals are met, for the most part, but not without the great over-efforts of five or six people, myself included (which had earned me the nickname “Superstar” within the org).
Things came to a head when I was laid off from my job. The good news was that when I told a previous manager about the layoff, he immediately put a good word in for me at his company, which landed me a job with better pay and projects that I love. The bad news was that it was still stressful for me, especially since I was also in the middle of moving to a new apartment. My sleep schedule and appetite were negatively affected, so I had to pause volunteering to take care of myself. I was only required to tell the board members about my hiatus so they could reassign my responsibilities. In this time that I was away from the organization, none of the members or other volunteers reached out to me. When I had settled down into the new job and apartment, I texted a fellow volunteer to wish her a happy birthday. She said, “Thank you! I haven’t heard from you in a few weeks, how are things?” I explained everything that had been happening in my life, and she replied, “Oh, that makes sense. Nobody told us that you had to take a break. You just suddenly turned invisible, and we all wondered why you weren’t showing up.”
I was furious. First of all, if the other volunteers didn’t know why I was gone, it was because they weren’t told by anyone on the board about the hiatus, which was yet another example of a lack of communication within the org. Which confused me because, uh, who’s doing all the tasks that I was doing if I’m not there?
Second of all, it was just so hurtful. I joked off her “invisible” comment, but in reality, I wanted to cuss her out and throw my phone. I had assumed that everyone was just busy with their own lives, but I was angry because people apparently did notice that I wasn’t showing up but never bothered to think, “This is unusual. Is she okay? Maybe I should check on her.” A lot of the commenters mentioned that I’m a person who cares a lot about things, which is true. It hurts because one would believe that the reason nobody cares about you is because you never cared in turn, except when you know that’s not true at all, so you’re left hurt and confused as to why these otherwise lovely people never thought about you.
It was the straw that broke the camel’s back to get me to stop volunteering with them. I just ghosted the organization and decided to move on with my life (which, based on my experience, is really all you have to do!). I was sad because the nonprofit was the only one addressing a need in the area, which was why I had stuck with it for so long. It wasn’t worth the dysfunction and stress in the end, though, especially if I’ll only ever be either “superstar” or “invisible” and nothing else. I felt like a weight has come off my shoulders, and my schedule has been freed up to find something better to put my heart into.
WASHINGTON—According to a report released this week by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, a record number of Americans are finding themselves forced to make ends meet by retreating into their underground laboratories and practicing alchemy. “Even though I work long hours at my warehouse job, I still won’t be able to pay the bills if I don’t succeed in transmuting this hunk of lead into gold,” part-time alchemist Arthur Shandro said as he opened his wooden chest of arcana and used a copper retort to distill a corrosive elixir of mercury, wormwood essence, and vitriolated tartar. “I used to think alchemy was just for people like Paracelsus, Mary the Jewess, or the ancient Qin Dynasty wizard Anqi Sheng, but when I got kicked off my health insurance plan, I realized that my best chance of keeping my family healthy would be to alchemize a panacean elixir of life in my basement. It’s tough work, for sure, but alchemy isn’t so bad if you have a good Hermetic treatise to go off of, or the Kitab al-Asrar, which is this 10th-century Persian book of secrets that a friend lent me. Though I’ve learned a lot as I further my quest to understand the fundamental nature of matter and its transformations, I still regret having to melt down my grandmother’s heirloom earrings in order to evoke this month’s rent money from the prima materia.” At press time, Shandro erupted in a triumphant cackle after confecting what he claimed was the long-sought philosopher’s stone, which would allow him to afford groceries.
It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes:
Would you consider an Ask the Readers on what people wish they’d known when they first became managers? I’ve just stepped into my first leadership role, moving from being a highly regarded individual contributor (who task managed teams for different projects) to actually managing a small department and wow, it’s a much bigger shift than I expected.
I’d love to hear what helped others get over that hump, what made things easier, what surprised them, and what they wish they’d known earlier.
Bonus points for advice on:
• Managing people who’ve been on the team for years but weren’t hired for this role despite applying
• Handling the weird loneliness of the “finding your feet” stage in a new leadership job
I’m obviously acting the same as I’ve always acted, and nothing about me has changed.
I FEEL FINE WEARING A HENLEY, SO THERE IS NO NEED TO LOOK AT ME.
I’m confident enough to wear it. I just have to feel confident, and I’ll be confident. Does my right shoulder seem lower than my left shoulder, like medically?
I’m in the vegetable aisle, and everyone can tell I’m taking way too long to make up my mind about what salad stuff to get. All of the terrible things going on in the world today, and all these people can do is undermine me? Wow.
Oh, fucking WORLD NEWS ALERT, EVERYONE: The guy in the oatmeal Henley is taking way longer than usual to make up his mind! And he looks like the kind of guy who usually just wears a black T-shirt. He looks like he’s been wearing black T-shirts for the last twenty-one years, everybody! Oh, everybody look! Everyone, look at him! Don’t pay attention to anything else happening in the world, just this guy!
I should’ve worn the black Henley, but when I put it on, I looked like a magician in 1993.
Do people think I’m trying to be fancy in this thing? The site I bought it from said it’s casual. The site basically said, “A fucking casual classic with a bunch of updated shit like four-button placket and confident raw edges, wear it instead of the bullshit you’ve been wearing for twenty-one years.”
Do I look like an oatmeal-colored Henley guy, man, or whatever? Just fucking tell me.
I know what everyone in here is thinking: “Get a load of fucking Henley over here, trying to figure out if he wants to put two ridiculously expensive sodas in his cart because he knows every good thing he has can disappear in a flash in this life…”
Am I supposed to wear a necklace with it? Oh, man, I don’t think I can. I can’t.
Jesus. Get some nuts. Like mixed nuts to go with these two expensive sodas, but also, like, get some nuts. You’re this person now. You’ve earned it.
Just BE HIM, and nobody will ask if you ARE HIM.
I’m going home, I’m going home, I’m going home.
I’m ditching my cart. Ditch it, leave it, You can’t do this.
Fine, fuck, I’m going back to my cart. It just looks like I went to look for something and left my cart here, and now I’m back.
Why did my girlfriend say to get two Henleys?
CHRIST. BE A MAN. AT LEAST FOR HER, IF NOT YOURSELF.
I will die one day. I’ve accepted that. I HAVE! ACCEPTED IT!
I’m fine, I’m calm.
How many buttons do you undo? Like one? Fuck it, I’m undoing one. Two?
I think I’ll always just call it a shirt. Be casual about it, that’s key.
SANTA BARBARA, CA—Groaning as yet another stranger shoved a ballpoint pen in his face, actor Noah Wyle stated Thursday that he was fed up with pushy fan tracheotomy requests. “Listen, I love that you love my work, but I’m just trying to grab breakfast with my family right now, not cut through any windpipes, okay?” said Wyle, the 54-year-old star of HBO Max’s The Pitt, who waved off the group of screaming fans frantically attempting to get his attention. “The first time it happened, 30 years ago, I was very flattered that someone wanted me to save their life. But it gets old pretty fast when you have people begging you to perform tracheotomies everywhere you go. Everyone wants to brag to their friends that they got a tracheotomy from Noah Wyle, but I just want my personal space.” Wyle went on to add that even if he did give a fan a tracheotomy, there was a 90% chance they would just sell it online.
NEW YORK—Perking up with excitement after spotting a customer in the process of completely humiliating himself, the entire staff of a midtown H&M store reportedly gathered Thursday to watch a man struggle to refold a shirt. “Oh my God, everyone get out of the break room—you seriously have got to see this,” said sales associate Brenda Ruiz, rushing to summon every single one of her coworkers in the multistory retailer, including fitting room attendants, back-of-house staff, supervisors, maintenance, and security, to witness the bumbling man attempt to fold a T-shirt smoothly into quarters. “No, no, no, you have to tuck in the sleeves, man! God, this is incredible. Wait, is he actually trying to roll it up? No way! Louis is going to be so pissed this happened on his day off, so thank God you’re getting this all on video, Maria.” At press time, sources confirmed that every customer in the store, and even several passersby on the sidewalk, had joined the crowd of giddy onlookers as the man approached a stack of jeans.
NEW YORK—Stating that they were “so proud, so, so proud,” the parents of filmmakers Josh and Benny Safdie reportedly told their sons Thursday that regardless of what the Academy says, they liked both films equally. “One nomination, nine nominations—The Smashing Machine and Marty Supreme are both movie of the year in our book,” said the filmmakers’ mother, Amy Safdie, who grabbed her sons’ faces and boasted that they were both nominees for the “Most Handsome Boys” award. “The new neighbor even saw them, and she said they were both fabulous. Oscars, schmoscars. No matter what happens Mar. 15, you both made five-star films. Forget the critics—well, not you, Joshy. They loved yours.” At press time, sources confirmed the Safdie parents had taken Josh aside and reminded him that any Oscars he won would need to be shared with his brother.
DPS, ICE and county officers stopped the two. They say the experience left them particularly unsettled after learning of the killing of Alex Pretti by Border Patrol officers in Minneapolis.
Texas Department of Public Safety troopers in riot gear confronted protesters outside the South Texas Family Residential Center in Dilley. A chemical irritant used for crowd control was deployed, prompting protesters to disperse.
