Big things are made of smaller things, and those smaller things are made of smaller things still. That’s reductionism in a nutshell, and digging our way to the smallest layer has been one of the primary goals of physics for ever. But what if, just before we reach the bottom, we find out that reductionism fails?
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The city and county are applying for $4.6 million in state funding for a pedestrian bridge over the Union Pacific Railroad track near the Houston ISD campus in the Denver Harbor neighborhood.
I didn’t get fired and I didn’t quit! About a week after I wrote in to Ask a Manager, I took Alison and commenters’ tough-love suggestions and initiated a conversation with my boss in which I acknowledged that I hadn’t been handling my pet and travel situation well (including the exchange with my coworker) and outlined how I’d be making changes. He was understanding, pleasantly surprised by my directness, and proposed things he could do that could help my experience as a remote worker aside from travel.
Some commenters suggested my problems could stem from performance, so without getting into details, I made it a challenge to up my game! Come December, I had my annual performance review and I got a healthy raise without asking for one.
We’ve settled into a less frequent but longer-duration travel schedule that my boss seems happy with — more like one 3 to 5-day trip per quarter to the home office rather than once a month. I also have other business travel that isn’t to the home office, so I’m going to be traveling about once a month this summer anyway.
Unfortunately, my cat’s quality of life continued to decline despite treatment (indicating perhaps undetected colon cancer on top of the pancreatitis) and we made the difficult decision to euthanize in January. Treatment became less stressful over time, and I’m glad we gave my cat a few more good months. He even would purr and bump my hands in anticipation of the fluid injections, which really lifted his spirits. Some commenters urged me to let my fiance help me, and I’m so grateful to him for how willing he was to help: he did every single injection for the remainder of my cat’s life because I struggled with it emotionally. I miss my cat all the time but haven’t adopted another because I don’t think I could handle it right now if another pet had health troubles. (I have had a few therapy sessions that were helpful in this regard.)
The timing meant that, although I was willing to make changes and knew how I’d do it, I actually didn’t have to travel again for work until after my cat had passed. I did immediately take the advice to be less vocal about my personal life in the workplace, however. I think almost all of my coworkers don’t know that my cat died because I haven’t broadcasted it, though I’ve confided in one or two pet-lovers who have been interested in talking about “life stuff.” It’s in general been freeing to be treated as a professional that can be trusted to get my work done.
Thank you for your thoughtful response to my question, and also to everyone in the comments who responded.
I wrote my original letter at the end of a particularly frustrating day, and left out a few details which may provide more clarity. There were a few people in the comments who assumed that Sally, as an employee of the company, was also the client. The business is mostly staffed by freelancers, the majority of whom are remote and have their own areas of specialty. Sally is also freelance, but in a different area of the business from me. I had been working for my client for several years when Sally came on board.
Sally was taken on to gain experience in a certain part of the business. She has a related background to her own area, but no experience whatsoever in mine. However, as soon as she came on board it became clear that she was also keen to learn how to do what I do making comments on my work and “offering solutions,” as well as pointing out what she thought were “mistakes.” I was patient with her and even spent some time explaining the work I do, but she continued with the same behavior.
Sally then set up a new system where we could all access our to-do lists whether we were at home or in the office, so everyone knew what everyone else was working on. However, I could never access this system. I said so repeatedly, and Sally expressed concern, yet never did anything to allow me access. I do wonder whether this was possibly deliberate.
My client, in the meantime, was going through a lot in her personal life as well as trying to manage the expansion of her business, and she was frequently overwhelmed. Sally kept putting more and more “systems” in place that were supposed to streamline things, but actually ended up making more work for everyone. (For example, she came up with a system for naming documents with lengthy dates, status, etc., and every time anyone made a change to that document a new version would have to be saved with more initials, etc., so the drive ended up being cluttered with multiple versions of the same document. She then changed her mind after a few weeks of this and decided to use another naming system, which meant I couldn’t actually access any work for a couple of days because she asked us all “not to touch” anything while she renamed the entire drive full of documents in her new system. Looking back now, this seems like madness.)
The final straw came when my client gave me a project to work on with Sally. I had been setting up templates for a lot of the regular work in the business, based upon the guidelines I had created over the past few years in conjunction with my client. Sally was working with me to learn more about the templates, and also how to work with them. However, Sally seemed to decide that her actual role was to manage this process so, whenever I would send something through, she would tell me what she didn’t like about it and what I needed to do differently, even if this was in direct contravention of the guidelines I had in place. This ended up making the project longer and far more complicated than it needed to be, so it took twice as much time as necessary. One of the commenters asked if I was going to charge for the extra hours Sally added to my workload and yes, I did charge for the extra time.
This was when I wrote to Alison. I did end up speaking with my client, asking her why Sally had been put in a position of oversight of my work, especially when she has no experience in my field, and detailing some of my frustrations, including the fact everything was taking longer. My client responded that she heard my concerns, and would get back to me. However, she instead stopped giving me projects to work on, while at the same time asking me to look over a proposal from a company who offered similar services as me but at a much lower rate (so low that it actually wasn’t feasible they would be able to deliver what they promised). The ending was so abrupt that I didn’t even get to go back to the office to collect a coffee cup I’d left there on a previous visit! I was hurt and a little shocked by this, but I wrote her a polite note with my feedback about the other company and wished her well.
I then started to see work in my old area from the company that was full of errors, and assumed that Sally had taken over my old role. There was nothing I could do about that, so I removed myself from the situation entirely and chalked it up to the unstable world of freelancing.
However! A couple of months later, I ended up running into my old client at a mutual friend’s event. She was thrilled to see me, hugged me, and told me that she was sad she could no longer afford to use me and that she’d been doing my old work herself (which explained the errors). Sally was still working for her, but had been essentially demoted to doing basic tasks. I’d heard there was some instability in her industry, so was sad to hear she’d been affected. We ended up having a lovely conversation; we so often don’t get closure on situations like this, so it felt like a real gift. I genuinely wish my client well, and would be happy to work for her again in the future.
I am a female, middle-aged supervisor at a small company, and one of my best employees is a woman in her early 20’s. Just over a week ago, we ran into each other at the beach, and she happened to be topless and wearing only a thong bikini bottom. We awkwardly said hi and quickly moved on, but since returning to work she’s been avoiding me like the plague. I need to keep her focused and on task as she always been one of my top performers, and I feel that this week she’s feeling quite embarrassed at the fact that I saw her topless.
Should I let her know I don’t think it’s a big deal and that she doesn’t need to be embarrassed, or should I just wait until things go back to normal and if so for how long?
I’d try just being aggressively normal for a week and see if that gets things back to normal between the two of you. By aggressively normal, I mean going out of your way to find opportunities to have normal interactions, so you can demonstrate that this isn’t A Thing to you in any way and hasn’t changed the way you see her or treat her.
If she’s still avoiding you after a week of that, then I’d consider saying, “I realize I might be misinterpreting, but you’ve seemed to feel uncomfortable around me since we bumped into each other at the beach. I hope you’re not embarrassed; it’s an absolute non-issue to me, and I’d like us to get back to what I’ve always felt was a very good working relationship.”
2. Offering parents extra days off to deal with school events
Recently, a proposed New Jersey Senate bill (No. 172) has been a hot topic of conversation in both my personal and professional life. The bill would provide tax credits to employers that offer two additional days off (on top of existing leave) for employees to attend school-related events for their children (such as parent-teacher conferences, etc.).
As the parent of an elementary-school-aged small human, this time of year is absolutely full of conferences and programs and events. Having a couple PTO days set aside specifically for “school stuff” without the internal debate and fear of needing those days for actual sick time would be incredibly beneficial for myself and other working parents. But on the flip side, it may not be fair to non-parents who don’t have access to those extra two days. What are your thoughts on this?
Well, on one hand, we do a terrible job in this country of supporting working parents, and so it’s hard not to welcome anything that would make child-rearing a little easier. But there are plenty of non-parents who also would benefit from extra days to deal with their own life commitments (like helping an aging parent, for example), so I’d rather see employers offer more flexibility overall, and/or some number of “life happens” days that could be used for a wider range of needs.
Parents aren’t the only ones who need support and there’s no reason to limit it to them.
3. Can HR share what they know about people’s salaries?
I know (from regularly reading your site!) that employees are allowed to discuss their salaries with one another and it is illegal to attempt to prohibit them from doing so. How does this work with HR?
I lead a small nonprofit (less than 15 employees) and one employee (director level role, doesn’t manage anyone directly yet, let’s call him Jim) performs HR and finance functions that give him a line of sight into people’s specific salaries (vs the general bands that we share team-wide). I’ve told Jim that he should refrain from discussing with colleagues any information he is privy to only due to his HR responsibilities (while feeling completely free to discuss his own salary or whatever coworkers share with him organically). Was that off-base? To clarify, I’m not saying that Jim can’t discuss salary with someone within the scope of the role (i.e., negotiate an offer with a new hire), but that it would feel inappropriate to me for Jim to tell Angela (apropos of nothing) that he thinks she should make more or share with Dwight what Toby makes.
Nope, you’re correct on the law. Employers generally can’t prohibit employees from discussing their salaries with each other, but they can prohibit sharing info that an employee obtains only because their job gives them access to it (or if they obtain that info through files known to be off-limits to them). So it would be fine for Jim to share his own salary with a coworker, or if Angela tells Jim what she earns, you couldn’t prevent him from sharing that info with Dwight. But he can’t use the job-specific access he has to share information that isn’t otherwise available.
4. Should you have to interview in order to go from full-time to part-time?
My company requires staff to go through the entire interview process if they wish to transfer to a different location if there is an increase or reduction in hours involved. For example, if Bob wants to work at Y location and it is a perfect lateral move with no reduction or increase of hours, he can transfer with no interview as long as he is the only person asking for the position. But if Bob wants to work at Y location and it is a reduction of his hours, full-time to part-time, and is the same job, he must apply and interview against all other applicants.
Here’s the part where I am stuck. Bob is a long-time employee, but he keeps not acing the required interview and is not being chosen as the candidate for the position at Y location. Somewhere in the process, Bob’s answers to routine interview questions take a turn towards “I have worked here for a long time and I am owed this.” It’s not a great attitude to take in an interview, but in the bigger picture, it’s true that Bob brings a lot of value with him. As far as I know, he’s always been a good member of the team and he has 15+ years of experience in his position. I feel Bob’s frustration that he can’t get the reduction of hours that he needs and I suspect that he’s going to leave the company over this.
Is the company hurting themselves over not allowing lateral transfers if the transfers involve a reduction or increase in hours? I suspect that this rule is in place to prevent stagnation, as this company’s profession tends to make for long-term employment with very little turnover. I could see where it would be very hard for external candidates to get a foot in the door if internal candidates could just slide into lateral transfers with no limits.
I suspect that Bob might explore his legal options as he and his supervisor are convinced there is a conspiracy in the company to explain why Bob keeps getting passed over. As far as I know, it’s the “I’m owed this” attitude, something Bob’s supervisor has also displayed in interviews that’s holding them both back from being successful candidates. I can only speculate on this being the cause as I have only heard secondhand reports, but never sat in on any of their interviews.
What is my obligation to Bob as a manager a few rungs up the ladder? I feel bad here as I empathize with his needs, but our location is one of the most difficult locations and we need a full-time role, not a part-time one. I am not inclined to advocate to split Bob’s position in to two part-time positions as that would not be best overall for the rest of the team.
I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask people to interview for a transfer. If I were the manager of the new position, I’d sure as hell want the opportunity to make sure I wasn’t bringing on someone who I didn’t think was well-suited for my team.
But where your company is messing up is in not giving Bob any feedback about why he’s not being selected (and his manager too, it sounds like). They should tell him clearly what’s holding him back so that he doesn’t need to speculate on whether there might be a different reason, and whether that reason might be legally actionable (such as discrimination). As a manager in his chain of command, you should explain to your management that they’re inadvertently setting themselves up for a lawsuit and push them to either give Bob some real feedback or deputize you to.
LOS ANGELES—Triumphantly planting the pole firmly into the ground, U.S. Marines reportedly raised the American flag outside a cell phone store Thursday after defeating a group of skateboarding teenagers. “Victory!” cried out 1st Lt. Eric Mullaney, who wiped the sweat and grime from his brow and gazed up at the poignant sight of the billowing Stars and Stripes as it flew outside the small but strategic city strip mall. “It was a daunting five-minute battle, but we held our ground. May freedom ring over this Cricket Wireless! Semper fi!” At press time, sources reported that one of the Marines had tragically fallen in the line of duty after tripping over an electric scooter.
The U.K. banned the possession of ninja swords in a bid to curb what it has called a “national knife crime crisis,” carrying a penalty of up to six months in jail for the possession of one. What do you think?
“Leaving them defenseless against the return of the Tokugawa shogunate?”
Joy Tenberg, Wildlife Promoter
“Throwing stars it is then.”
Dan Jaronik, Snack Columnist
“It’s only a matter of time until they ban stabbing people altogether.”
Gentlemen, I want answers. Our quarterly earnings are in the garbage, and I expect one of you overpaid three-martini-lunch layabouts to have a good explanation why my family’s home-decor company is bleeding money like a physician of high standing using proper, modern medical techniques against female mental illness?
So, what’s to be? Can anyone in this boardroom tell me why sales of our signature terrifying yellow wallpaper are down?
Edwards, I’m looking at you. I didn’t put you in charge of the Smouldering, Sulphuric Interior Design department for you to try to pass the buck on this one.
For 133 years, our iconically sprawling, flamboyant yellow wallpaper design has defined an entire company. My great-grandfather started this business with nothing more than a dream, unquestioned male decision-making, and an inheritance that he took the burden of handling for my great-grandmother, who was… unwell.
And now, for some unknown reason, people don’t want to buy our wallpaper? Are you all claiming that the public no longer has an interest in unclean yellows? Have dull yet lurid oranges fallen out of fashion?
Yes, yes, Edwards. I read the consumer feedback surveys. I’ve never seen such overuse of “repellent” and “revolting” and “strangely faded by the slow-turning sunlight” in my life. Clearly, none of the surveys can be trusted, and frankly, I find it unconscionably rude that you would even bring them up.
Don’t snivel, Edwards. Histrionics like that would get you locked up for your own good, in a better society.
Give me data, gentlemen. What could be causing this drop in sales? For over a century, housewives have enjoyed our wallpaper so much that they never even want to leave the house, and suddenly, we can’t move a pallet of double rolls to save your golden parachutes.
That’s a warning, Edwards. Take it.
Brainstorm with me, gentlemen. Women are pretty much people, in the most general sense. Sure, they may dress like fools and buy hats and shoes, but frankly, that’s all part of the corporate song and dance. So why does no one want to dance with us?
What do they want? Buttercups?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. No one is leaving this boardroom until I get a decent explanation about this wallpaper slump. The C-suite door is locked and, as you may have noticed, I took the liberty of having bars installed on the windows. We’re in for a long night, and I hope you’re ready to bring some ideas to the table.
Gentlemen, there are things in these paper P and L reports that nobody knows but me, or ever will. Behind these abruptly descending arrows, the dim shapes of Chapter 7 filings get clearer every day. It is always the same bankruptcy court paperwork, creeping around this room, around this company. I don’t like it a bit. I wonder—I begin to think—I wish you would take me away from here, Edwards!
But you’ve heard about all of that, I’m sure, so we’re not going
to rehash it. Instead, let’s get personal: I’m picking out, in
my opinion, the best and worst new features of each of Apple’s
platforms. To be clear, these are my completely scientific and
totally well-reasoned expert opinions on the features that
were announced, not just some off-the-cuff reactions less than a
day later.
Look, I get it. I’ve been in this game a long time, okay? I managed political campaigns on both sides of the aisle, and very nearly won some of them. I get paid more than the combined salaries of an entire elementary school’s faculty to write a weekly diary entry for a nationally syndicated newspaper with minimal AI input. I’ve been on all the major nightly roundtable shows. One time I even found myself smoking cigars with Thomas Friedman, Tom Nichols, and the Krassenstein brothers—but that’s beside the point.
This is a fraught moment, one in which our very notions of objective reality hang by a rapidly fraying thread. I know you and your friends tried warning us the first time around about Nyarlathotep’s ascendency… then all through the Dread Lord President’s first Reign of Terror. And then you pleaded that we band together as a traumatized nation to collectively ensure His unholy alliance of cosmic nihilists, Nazis, and tech manbabies could never again return to power. Fool us once, and all that.
Maybe we could have heeded your anguished cries at least once over the past decade or so of Psychic Darkness. Who’s to say? But now it appears that we’ve entered the Elder God’s Endgame. His Death Cultist Vanguard is being dispatched across the desiccated country. Bone Battalions are marshaling under the direction of the Hobgoblin Rat King, Stephen Miller. Foundational institutions are kowtowing to some frat-bro imp named Big Balls, who apparently has top-secret clearance.
We stand corralled before the gates of a terrifying new world, a barren land that no one with a shred of compassion or sanity would dare venture. But there is still time to push back against the Dread Lord and His minions. We still possess the energy and tools to lock them behind those very same gates they seek to force wide open.
I agree that this, this is time to make our voices heard. But first, I beg you to hear me out here: Could you please try being a little more polite when fighting for the future of all that you love?
It might be seen as a bad look, is all I’m saying. Dread Lord Nyarlathotep is counting on us to defend ourselves against His deputized lich horde during this Orgy of Nullification. That possessed scrotum Tom Homan is practically giddy at the thought of someone doing everything they can to avoid being trampled, maimed, or arrested without cause. They’ve made mockeries out of the concepts of justice and freedom, but trying to hold them accountable for their actions will only prove them right. It would just confirm to our neighbors, loved ones, and those who need our help the most that you refuse these Death Cultists’ desperate attempt to warp our lives into grotesque facsimiles of human existence. It would only affirm you are willing to cloak yourselves in the only things that Nyarlathotep’s minions actually fear: righteous anger and abject ridicule.
Also, any form of protest that appears the slightest bit emphatic, aggressive, valiant, or physical will completely erase any support from the dozens of Americans still on the fence about the whole “Elder God Apocalypse” thing.
I may have never truly listened to you, and maybe I’ve never been on the frontlines of an antifascist insurgency. But I’m telling you to heed my warnings, or pay the ultimate price: further inconveniencing me and my colleagues trying to enjoy a nice post-brunch stogie over here.
“Our trade partnership Amity Island is simply too important.” Luke and the Panel (Nile Seguin, Ian MacIntyre and Clare Blackwood) talk about the ICE protests and Donald Trump turning to page 1 in the dictator playbook, Mark Carney’s popularity with Conservatives and international human rights abusers, and the weak sanctions imposed on two Israeli far-right […]
Dakota Johnson stars in Materialists, a new romance from director Celine Song. The Onion sat down with the actress to discuss love, ambition, and what’s next.
The Onion: What drew you to Materialists?
Johnson: I wanted a free trip to New York City. I’d never been before. It’s cute.
The Onion: What was it like working with Pedro Pascal and Chris Evans?
Johnson: Tough. They kept getting into the trash. You can clap your hands really loudly or try a spray, but face it: If they want to get in, they’ll get in.
The Onion: Last year, you launched an online book club. What book are you reading now?
Johnson: We finished them all! We have moved on to songs.
The Onion: How do you prepare for a typical role?
Johnson: I practice looking directly at people while simultaneously looking past them.
The Onion: What’s in your purse?
Johnson: More bangs.
The Onion: How do you deal with the accusations that you wouldn’t be where you are today if it wasn’t for your famous family?
Johnson: Whenever someone says something like that, I kill one of my parents.
The Onion: It’s been 10 years since Fifty Shades Of Grey came out. What message do you hope people took from that film?
Johnson: That sex is immoral and disgusting.
The Onion: What’s next for you?
Johnson: I’m trying to learn “walk the dog” on my yo-yo.
Reitz, formerly a key cog in Texas’ conservative legal pipeline, once said the AG’s office is at war with “the forces that want to destroy the American order.”
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