The decision issues some limits on the power of federal judges to universally block President Trump's executive order on birthright citizenship, asking lower courts to reconsider their rulings.

The ruling is the first time that the court has imposed requirements on adult consumers in order to protect minors from having access to sexually explicit material.

When a spaceship and a space station love each other very, very much…

Smiling Tom!

"If it weren't for ebikes, I'd be driving a car" says American Fietser.

American Fietser:

BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/americanfietser.bsky.social

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AmericanFietser

Not Just Bikes: https://nebula.tv/notjustbikes

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The 35-time Grammy Award winner from the Third Ward will perform at NRG Stadium this weekend, with concerts scheduled for 7 p.m. Saturday and 7 p.m. Sunday.

The judges opting to hear the cases together marks a significant development in a saga that many believe will reach the U.S. Supreme Court.

The newly annexed 250-mile stretch at the border spans two counties and runs alongside cities including Brownsville and McAllen.

Although Patrick and hemp industry leaders have quarreled over the risks and benefits of THC, cannabis researchers say it can be addictive but doesn’t usually cause widespread psychosis or brain damage.

Proposals in the federal budget bill would cut the maximum Pell Grant award amount by $1,500 and take away eligibility for students enrolled less than half-time.

In brief: Another round of localized heavy rain, street flooding, and lightning will be possible this afternoon somewhere near or just northwest of Highway 59/I-69 in Houston. Slightly less coverage for Saturday, then more numerous showers and storms come at us Sunday and Monday before we dry out and heat up.

If you live inside the Beltway on the north and west side of Houston, you probably got walloped yesterday. Over 4 inches of rain was recorded at Ella and White Oak Bayou.

Rain totals north of 3 inches fell in a pretty broad area between The Villages and Garden Oaks. Many other locations saw 1 to 3 inches of rain. Outside the Beltway, it went quiet until you got up to about Kingwood (always, Kingwood) and down into Fort Bend County. Yesterday was just one of those days where boundary collisions ruled the day. A few storms popped up, steering winds were weak, and basically atmospheric bumper cars ensued until we exhausted the instability in the area.

Today

We don’t expect a carbon copy today, however I would not be shocked to see a generally similar setup play out across the area. We’re already seeing some downpours in Liberty and Chambers Counties this morning. As the morning goes on and the sea breeze starts entering the mix, migrating inland with peak instability, we’ll likely see storms fire up near Highway 59/I-69.

A few places could again see multi-inch per hour rain rates that could cause street flooding. We’re holding off on a Stage 1 flood alert today, but I will admit it’s a close call. Just use caution in any storms today, as you should in summer.

Weekend

I think things will ease up a bit on Saturday. There will be showers and isolated thunderstorms around. There may be locally heavy downpours for a short time in any given spot. But overall the intensity and coverage of storms may be lower tomorrow than it has been to close the week out.

Unfortunately, the same does not hold true for Sunday, which should see more numerous, if not widespread showers and thunderstorms across the region. Storms could begin firing up as early as mid-morning and continue through the day, migrating generally north and west as the day progresses. Have an umbrella handy both days, but have a good indoor backup plan available on Sunday.

Temperatures should top out in the lower to mid-90s on Saturday and low-90s or even upper-80s on Sunday.

Monday

Monday looks like another active day with showers and storms popping with daytime heating. Look for low-90s and scattered PM storms.

Rest of next week

Tuesday begins a trend of diminishing rain chances. Expect more of isolated coverage of storms on Tuesday, a handful on Wednesday, and perhaps none at all by the end of the week. In response, temperatures are going to begin to pick up. We’ll have mid-90s Tuesday and Wednesday, followed by a chance at upper-90s to close the week.

Recent rains and saturated soils may act to keep daytime highs from getting much past 97 or 98 degrees or so officially, but there may be a few parts of the area that threaten upper 90s to near 100 by next weekend. Stay tuned.

Tropics

A discerning eye will notice a new tropical area to watch on the National Hurricane Center site down in the Bay of Campeche. This has a very, very slight opportunity to develop over the next couple days.

The good news is that it will almost certainly scoot right into Mexico by Monday. This limits any significant development risk, and this is not a concern for the Texas coast. The next tropical area of interest may be something in the northeastern Gulf or off the Florida coast by next weekend. That too is expected to stay away from Texas and is mainly worth watching for Florida or the Southeast coast.

WASHINGTON—Citing extensive research he had conducted on the matter, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. issued a statement Friday claiming that vaccines were no more effective than drinking horseshoe crab blood straight. “Despite the lofty promises of pharmaceutical companies, there’s simply no evidence to suggest that vaccines provide more immunological benefit than punching a few holes in a horseshoe crab’s carapace and slurping its blood directly,” said Kennedy, adding that his own lips were still stained blue from the horseshoe crab blood he had drunk that morning with breakfast. “The data is clear. If you’re looking to gain immunity to disease, there’s no reason to take vaccines adulterated with all manner of dangerous chemicals when their sole effective component—horseshoe crab blood—is freely available at your local estuary. Horseshoe crabs are safe, natural, and slow enough to be caught by both children and the elderly. And unlike profit-driven vaccine manufacturers, a horseshoe crab will never lie to you about what you’re putting into your body.” At press time, Kennedy had reportedly been hospitalized after he experienced a bad reaction to swallowing a horseshoe crab whole.

The post RFK Jr.: Vaccines No More Effective Than Drinking Horseshoe Crab Blood Straight appeared first on The Onion.

This is a funny gag from Claude Zeins, but if you think about it, it shows just how destructive Apple’s decision was to send a push notification from the Wallet app promoting F1 The Movie.

It’s a fact that no company can inject an ad into your physical wallet. It just can’t happen. So if Apple’s message to users is that they should trust Apple Wallet, and move more of their “shit that goes in your wallet” life from their traditional analog wallet into their digital Apple Wallet, that’s the bar. No ads, ever. They’re competing against the privacy and intimacy of one of the most personal things people carry with them.

It’s not just that many people find ads annoying, no matter where they appear. It’s that Apple Wallet ought to be sacrosanct — like the Passwords and Journal apps. Apple is asking us to trust this app with our finances, our identity cards, and our keys. I’m 99.9 percent certain this F1 ad was just blasted out to zillions of Wallet users indiscriminately, but some number of users who got it — especially people who know they’re in the demographic for the movie — surely think they got the ad because Wallet is tracking their interests and activities. Like, what if you recently bought tickets to see another summer blockbuster movie? Using Apple Wallet? And then you got this ad? It’d be completely sensible to be spooked by that, and conclude that Apple Wallet is tracking you.

Sending this ad is completely destructive to all the hard work other teams at Apple have done to make Apple Wallet actually private. I try very seldom to call for anyone to be fired, but I think whoever authorized this movie ad through Wallet push notifications ought to be canned.

The smith is an important figure in any generic ersatz medieval community. The job involves hitting bits of metal until they form useful shapes, or so I hear. Sometimes he attaches the letter ‘c’ to the bottoms of horses’ feet. Mad.

The post Which I have not appeared first on Bad Machinery.

Sarah Perez, writing at TechCrunch Tuesday:

Apple customers aren’t thrilled they’re getting an ad from the Apple Wallet app promoting the tech giant’s original film “F1 the Movie.” Across social media, iPhone owners are complaining that their Wallet app sent out a push notification offering a $10 discount at Fandango for anyone buying two or more tickets to the film.

Joe Rossignol, MacRumors:

Apple today sent out an ad to some iPhone users in the form of a Wallet app push notification, and not everyone is happy about it.

That’s an understatement, to say the very least. See if you can find a single comment from anyone who was happy about receiving this push notification ad. Seriously, let me know if you find one statement in support of this.

Casey Liss, succinct as ever:

🤮

The ad itself, from Apple, read:

Apple Pay
$10 off at Fandango

Save on 2+ tickets to F1® The Movie with APPLEPAYTEN. Ends 6/29. While supplies last. Terms apply.

In addition to the justified outrage over receiving any ad from a system-level component like Wallet in the first place, this particular ad sucks in multiple ways. Why did Apple put a “®” after “F1” in the movie title? Why not put a “®” next to “Apple Pay” and “Fandango” too? What supplies are running out on this promotion? Why add that “terms apply”? This is just a shit notification from top to bottom, putting aside whether any such notification should have been sent in the first place.

iOS 26 adds new settings inside the Wallet app to allow fine-grained control over notifications, including the ability to turn off notifications for “Offers & Promotions” (Wallet app → (···) → Notifications — notably, this is not in the Settings app). That’s good. But (a) iOS 26 is months away from being released to the general public — there exists no way to opt out of such notifications now; and (b) at least for me, I was by default opted in to this setting on my iOS 26 devices. (It is also, when you think about it, perhaps a worrying sign regarding Apple’s future plans that this setting has been added to Wallet for iOS 26.)

This was such a boneheaded marketing decision on Apple’s part. They cost themselves way more in goodwill and trust than they possibly could have earned in additional F1 The Movie — wait, sorry, my bad, F1® The Movie — box office ticket sales. It’s like Apple got paid to exemplify Cory Doctorow’s “enshittification” theory. Apple Wallet doesn’t present itself as a marketing vehicle. It presents itself as a privacy-protecting system service.

Ruben Gutierrez is challenging the constitutionality of a state law that restricts death row inmates from seeking tests that he says will prove he’s not a murderer.

After a standoff that lasted several hours Thursday, Harris County Precinct 4 Constable Mark Herman said the incident "ended peacefully" and the freeway was reopening. The woman involved was detained, according to Harris County Sheriff Ed Gonzalez.

Representatives of Pride Houston 365, which is hosting its annual downtown parade and festival Saturday, say they lost about 20 sponsors this year. Some of the continuing sponsors requested they no longer be publicized as supporters.

Karate Kid actor and Cobra Kai star Martin Kove was asked to leave a fan convention after biting co-star Alicia Hannah-Kim so hard during a VIP meet-and-greet that he nearly drew blood, claiming that he “was being playful in the moment but went too far.” What do you think?

The post Cobra Kai Actor Accused Of Biting Co-Star appeared first on The Onion.

welcome to Metacity 6 (fin)

...

Deb: "The favor?"

Puffy checks that Girl is busy going through the store. He pulls out a usb disk drive.

Puffy: "This thumb drive. I need you to keep it safe... and when the time is right - give it to her."

The old penguin accepted without a word. She understood perfectly what the mage was saying.

Children listening to OpenBlade's story: "And what was that, Mister Blade?"

Girl and Puffy are leaving the store.

Girl: "Bye, Miss Deb! It was nice to meet you!"

Deb waves back reluctantly.

OpenBlade: "That no one fish lives forever."

https://analognowhere.com/_/memino

• archive
• support/store

A planet where apes evolved from man?!

The parser for the Microsoft MIDL compiler has long suffered from the problem of the double greater-than sign. This problem plagued C++ until C++11 added a special rule:¹

[temp.names] (4): When parsing a template-argument-list, the first non-nested > is taken as the ending delimiter rather than a greater-than operator. Similarly, the first non-nested >> is treated as two consecutive but distinct > tokens, the first of which is taken as the end of the template-argument-list and completes the template-id.

Microsoft’s MIDL compiler predates C++11, and its parser treats two consecutive greater-than signs as a bitwise shift operator. This means that you cannot write

Windows.Foundation.IAsyncOperation<
    Windows.Foundation.Collections.IVector<Int32>>

when you want an asynchronous operation that produces a vector of 32-bit integers. The double-greater-than is interpreted as a shift operator, and you get a weird MIDL error message because a shift operator is not allowed there.

You must explicitly insert a space to force it to be parsed as two greater-than signs.

Windows.Foundation.IAsyncOperation<
    Windows.Foundation.Collections.IVector<Int32> >

Larry Osterman tells me that multiple people have attempted to fix this and allow the compiler to break up a shift operator into two greater-than signs “when appropriate”.

All such attempts have failed.

I wonder if there is a comment in the source code similar to this legendary one:

// 
// Dear maintainer:
// 
// Once you are done trying to 'optimize' this routine,
// and have realized what a terrible mistake that was,
// please increment the following counter as a warning
// to the next guy:
// 
// total_hours_wasted_here = 42
// 

¹ The controversy is still not over, though, because the standard does not define what “non-nested” means. Issue 579 gives as an example the sequence

X<a ? b > c : d>

Is the first > a “nested” greater-than sign? This issue, opened in 2006, is still outstanding!

The post The MIDL compiler still has trouble with double greater-than signs, sadly appeared first on The Old New Thing.

As part of a periodic purge of unused online accounts, I deleted my account from a company ten months ago. Let’s call that company Contoso. I received a confirmation that said, “Your personal information and items associated with your account have now been deleted. This action is permanent and cannot be reversed.”

Yesterday, I got an email from Contoso informing me that they have updated their Privacy Policy.

So I guess their “confirmation” of “permanent” and “irreversible” deletion of my personal information was premature, seeing as they still have my email address.

The post Your information has been permanently deleted, for small values of permanently appeared first on The Old New Thing.

WOODBINE, NJ—Saying the man’s behavior and temperament had helped him excel in a difficult environment, sources confirmed Thursday that every trait disqualifying ICE agent Jake Clements from previous jobs had made him ideal for his current role. Several reports indicated the 29-year-old high school graduate, who had been dismissed from numerous past positions in food service and substitute teaching due to his short fuse and penchant for cruelty, had been rapidly promoted up the ranks at ICE for those very same characteristics. According to sources, the anger management issues and casual application of slurs that once resulted in Clements being escorted out of a data entry job now earned him effusive praise from supervisors who saw a bright future for him at U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement. Colleagues within ICE noted that Clements’ history of posting lengthy social media screeds denouncing immigrants for destroying a Christian nation—which had caused him to be automatically turned down for dozens of other jobs—would likely earn him a management position at the agency within five years. At press time, those familiar with Clements added that he was making fast friends with his fellow ICE agents for the same reason that he was estranged from his wife and had been abandoned by virtually all other acquaintances.

The post Every Trait Disqualifying ICE Agent From Previous Jobs Ideal For Current One appeared first on The Onion.

Love Island USA is in the midst of its seventh season. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the reality dating series.

Q: What are the couples competing for?

A: The forever-out-of-reach approval of a distant or absent authority figure.

Q: What happens to contestants who get eliminated?

A: They are chemically castrated.

Q: What do fans enjoy most?

A: The opportunity to cyberbully hot people without social backlash.

Q: What’s been the most successful pairing to come out of the show?

A: Bathing suits and jewelry. 

Q: Can I visit Love Island?

A: Those who attempt to make contact have been met with hostility, with spears hurled at intruders as a ritual act of territorial defense.

Q: How can I tell which contestants really love each other?

A: Reddit.

Q: How many episodes are in a season?

A: When the pyramids have turned to dust and the skyscrapers lie in ruin, still you shall hear the call of the Casa. 

Q: Why is my girlfriend so obsessed with the show?

A: She’s trying to convince herself that there are people with even more toxic relationships than her own. 

The post What To Know About ‘Love Island USA’ appeared first on The Onion.

NEW YORK—Shaking a logo-emblazoned cap enticingly over his head, a defense attorney for Sean “Diddy” Combs’ reportedly tossed jurors Cîroc-branded swag during closing statements Thursday in the 55-year-old music mogul’s racketeering and sex-trafficking trial. “All right, who wants a free towel?” lawyer Marc Agnifilo said as the men and women of the jury immediately clamored to their feet and began shouting “Me! Me!” and “I want a towel! I do!” “I’ve got shirts. Who wants a shirt? Small, medium, large? Bandanas? Sunglasses? Socks? Flasks? Oh, man, and you got to check out these shot glasses—they light up! No need to shove each other, ladies and gentlemen—I have plenty of merch for everyone.” At press time, U.S. District Judge Arun Subramanian, wearing a Cîroc-branded flat-bill cap, was calling for order in the court.

The post Diddy Lawyer Tosses Jury Cîroc Swag During Closing Statement   appeared first on The Onion.

EAU CLAIRE, WI—Massaging their stiff shoulders and necks while remarking that they wish they’d known how good they had it when they were your age, slightly older sources reported Thursday that if you think your body feels bad now, just you wait. “Hoo boy, you might think things hurt already, but buckle up, because this is just the beginning,” said one source, who despite being just four years older than you repeatedly warned that in terms of walking, bending, and even sleeping, it was all downhill from the age you are now. “Maybe you feel a little sore first thing in the morning, but take it from me, one day you’ll wake up and—bam! Your fingers will be swollen like grapefruits. I’ve got joints with bone-on-bone contact, I’ve got a slipped disk, and every time I stand up, I audibly moan. Talk to me in a few years, buddy. Because soon, you too will be in a world of pain.” At press time, wheezing sources whispered that if you thought doctors were fast and loose with painkillers now, hold on to your fucking horses.

The post Slightly Older Sources Report If You Think Body Feels Bad Now, Just Wait appeared first on The Onion.

Once in a blue moon, a ceasefire in the Middle East involving Israel actually holds. Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Megan MacKay and Nile Seguin) talk about Trump starting WWIII and then getting a ceasefire 48 hours later, debate whether this is the one in a million ceasefire that Israel won’t break, and break […]

The post Report: as long as this is the one ceasefire in a thousand that Israel doesn’t break, everything will be fine appeared first on The Beaverton.

Your biggest mistake wasn’t forgetting that we have feelings (and social media accounts) of our own.

Your biggest mistake, in posting “All Disney’s good for these days is a live action slog and a CGI clusterfuck,” was thinking that we’re too cute and wholesome to retaliate.

Keep in mind, Bambi was cute, too. Then we killed Bambi’s mom.

Cold open. Drone footage pushing in on a shiny red racecar. Back from the depths of 2006, in live-action form, is everyone’s favorite rookie, Lightning McQueen, in a teaser trailer for the Cars remake.

But what’s that—something on the bumper?

Nope. That’s real teeth superimposed onto the front of an actual vehicle. You won’t be smiling once you’ve seen the full sets of teeth we’re giving those things. I’m not just talking about molars and canines—I’m talking about cavities, gingivitis, and the whole sensitive toothpaste industry. Yeah, we’ll schedule the cars for some financially ruinous appointments. We’ll make your favorite movie a constant reminder of last year’s crown and next year’s car trouble.

Why is the trailer oddly quiet? That’s the sweet absence of Rascal Flatts’ cover of “Life is a Highway,” the living, breathing soul of this ninety-minute family flick, because the Rascals attended a certain inauguration and are thus canceled. And if you’re fine with that, guess what? All you “Highway” apologists hoping for a loophole can go fuck yourselves, because we’re not even calling Shaboozey or country-era Chappell to cover it. If you have any political integrity, you’ll never hear it again.

Instead, how about we reinvigorate the “car-accident country-song” subgenre, and we kill off Lightning McQueen? Yeah, we could do that. We could canonically murder Lightning McQueen, and do so in such a horrific way that it leaves your children mortally disturbed. Then we’ll answer every last one of their questions about where cars go when they die.

When Lightning McQueen’s Mack truck companion says “Thank the Manufacturer!” in the original film, that was cute. That was funny. Well, we could always expand the hell out of that. Seriously, take a second to imagine just how freaky we could make the Creation myth in the world of Cars, and do it in a way that makes you feel spiritually guilty and existential. Then your associates in religion will force you to boycott the movie and force you to retroactively slander Cars, in perpetuity. You’ll even have to swap out your child’s immersive Lightning McQueen twin bed for a far less flattering silhouette, ordered with same-day shipping from Amazon.

Want more? Okay, check it: Because all of your favorite characters were priced out of their idyllic Route 66 town by Airbnbs and boutique hotels, they’ve all been shipped off to some desert Amazon warehouse, shackled in a permanent underclass lining Jeff Bugatti-Bezos’s pockets, and now you’re feeling ethically irresponsible.

Don’t tempt us, we could totally do that.

To everyone’s great discomfort, we could also slap a family of automatic rifle bumper stickers on “Sarge,” and an extremely gay Kingdom Hearts reference on “Luigi.” Then we can toss a freaky Tesla in there and see where it lands on the political spectrum dart board once the picture finally hits the market. Good luck virtue-signal bumper-stickering your way out of Tesla ownership now (without tearing up the paint job).

Maybe we’ll give the working-class cars of Radiator Springs, who haven’t worked in years at the time of Lightning’s arrival, a government bailout or an unrelated xenophobic scapegoat. Or worse, secure them some livable wages, after we hit the ultra-wealthy individuals of McQueen’s dream sponsor, Dinaco Corporation, with some society-healing taxation. Or how about we just depict the cars’ liquid dependency on fossil fuels as a metaphor for extractive military interests in conveniently war-torn regions?

We’re sure that will go over well.

Still not enough? How about we give the cars erectile dysfunction? Screw it, let’s make it a common cultural practice in the Cars universe for them to eat their vehicle-placentas after a forty-month gestation period. Maybe we’ll give everyone in Radiator Springs a Facebook account, and discover what kind of toll the last twenty years of media have taken on their minds. Or maybe we’ll make a special point of indicating that every character in the movie is biologically sexless and is actually just a fucking car with gender-affirming exteriors.

Is that what you want? Because we will FUCKING do it, you mean, trolling motherfuckers.