Karenadell

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Conversation between me and Victor:

me:  Look!  I designed a shirt for us:

Victor:  “Procrastinate no“?

me:  It was meant to say “PROCRASTINATE NOW” but then I got distracted and never finished it.

Victor:  Well, that’s ridiculous.

Me:  No, it’s fitting.  Because I’m all, “PROCRASTINATE NOW!” because I’m cool with procrastination.  So cool with it, in fact, that I didn’t even finish the shirt.  But then it also works for you because you hate procrastination, so if you wear it it’s more like: “PROCRASTINATE?  NO!”  Either way, everyone agrees.  And now we can both wear the same shirt so we’re saving money on clothes.

Victor:  Except that we don’t wear the same size.   And the shirt isn’t here.

me:  I haven’t ordered it yet.  I figured I’d do it later.

Victor:  So you haven’t ordered the shirt that you haven’t finished…which celebrates the fact that you procrastinate?

me:  Yes.  I’m proving my own point without even wearing the shirt.  That’s how good of a shirt it is.

PS.  I read that The Nepalese postal service sometimes gets so behind they throw away sacks of undelivered mail. Based on that, I think I might be Nepalesian. Or Nepaleatic.  Or Neopolitan. I’m not sure which, but I just spent an hour looking up why I don’t have time to answer all my mail in the time it could have taken me to answer all my mail.  I can’t tell if that’s impressive or incredibly sad.  Also, I just remembered that I haven’t taken my ADD drugs in awhile.

Things are starting to make sense now.

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And now, the weekly wrap-up of awesomeness:

(Paper collage courtesy of Bethany Goosen.)

Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

• Giant eyeball plate.  Perfect for pretending to be a cyclops after dinner.  This one looks like a big googley eye and will help you stay on your diet because it’s looking at you accusingly.
• THAT’S NO MOON.  It’s a plate.  Why?  Because science, that’s why.  Also available in full, half, and quarter.  Collect the whole set!  Freak out werewolves!
• I made this poster for my daughter’s classroom but I suspect they won’t use it.
• This is the cover of the children’s book I plan to write when I’m finished with my current book.   Also available on shirts and iPad Air covers for some reason.
• Extra Gravy For All.
• Rock out with your…um…mug out.

Shit that I’m vaguely involved with on the internets:

Hit songwriter Kara DioGuardi revealed that she recently had surgery to remove her uterus, ovaries and fallopian tubes, after learning she carries the BRCA2 gene that put her at high risk of ovarian cancer. “I took a calculated risk,” she … Continue reading →