While it might seem like Jason Voorhees — the silent, masked killer from the Friday the 13th movies — has a knack for being everywhere at once, you can’t have a mass-produced Jason in every home in America at a reasonable price. Yet.
Since Hollywood can constantly “re-imagine” horror franchises for new audiences, Illustrator Ed Harrington has reworked a number of horror film icons, including the beloved Jason, into IKEA product… complete with faux-Swede names.
For example, to make your own Vörhees, you’ll need one drowned person, a machete, a hockey mask, and an allan wrench.
For the Cenöbite (Pinhead variety) from the Hellraiser films, you’ll need one human, a puzzle box, one hammer, one scalpel, 50 nails, and an allan wrench.
Then there’s the Brundlefly, which apparently already sounds vaguely IKEA-ish enough. For this, you’ll require one human, one fly, two teleportation pods, and — what else? — an allan wrench.
Both the Vörhees and the Brundlefly advise against involving any sexual activities with these terrifying IKEA products. With the Vörhees, it could be fatal; with the Brundlefly, it could lead to horrifying dreams and an unwatchably bad sequel.
Speaking of unwatchably bad, we have — we think wisely — omitted Harrington’s IKEA diagram for a Hümån Centipedë (hint: it also involves an allan wrench), but you can see it and others on Harrington’s Tumblr or Instagram pages.
