Snob

Qué vado ni qué vado

por Pablo García

Aggiornamento: parrebbe che la notizia sia una bufala inventata da un sito satirico francese... ebbrava l'Ansa!

Mi sono imbattuto in quest'ansa demenziale: parrebbe che la stragrande maggioranza dei mangiarane pensi che "clitoride" (clitoris in francese) sia il nome di un modello di Toyota. Ovviamente è solo una paraculata inventata da un giornalaccio per farsi un po' di pubblicità aggratise.

Ora, son certo che voialtri sapete tutti benissimo di cosa stiamo parlando, ma un ripassino, fantasioso e ricco di spunti ispiratori, non può certo far male.

Indi per cui, sucatevelo [(anche il clitoride) dopo esservi accertati che la pratica piaccia (intendo sucarlo...)]

dino girls originally appeared on My[confined]Space NSFW on October 2, 2013.

Colleen Farrington miss October 1957 originally appeared on My[confined]Space NSFW on October 3, 2013.

DOSSIER DE PRENSA_ASTERIX_PICTOS.pdf by El Tio Berni

October means Halloween is near, and that means costumes are perfectly acceptable to wear out in public (kind of) both for you and your dog.  Chances are, you’re really tired of your dog being, well, just a dog.  But now you’re in luck!  Finally you can upgrade your pooch to the pet you’ve always wanted by dressing it as another member of the animal kingdom.

1. Elephant

I think the superiority of the elephant goes without saying.  I mean, do dogs mourn the dead?  No?  Then they can afford to step up their game.

via AccessAtlanta.com

2. Panda

They’re endangered, they’re super cute, and they’re given as gifts by the Chinese government.

via Ebay

Just a suggestion, though… don’t do this to your dog.  Ever.

via dogswearingcostumes.blogspot.com

3. Walrus

Why settle for an average Boston Terrier when you could have an amphibious wrinkly mammal with tusks?  Sure, the dog might be a little startled by the transformation, but just assure them it’ll be a change for the better.

via imgur

4. Two dogs carrying a present

I think this one’s superiority goes without saying.  Two > one.  Dog with present > Dog without present.  Easy math.

via rebloggy.com

5. Giraffe

If your dog is embarrassingly short, you probably wish you had a giraffe.  Well, here’s your chance.

via buzznet.com

6. Lobster

They’re biologically immortal and they taste great.  That’s more than your dog can say for itself.

via buzznet.com

7. Three-headed dog

You’ve probably always felt a little sad about the fact that your dog only has one head.  Well, now’s the time to upgrade.

via dogswearingcostumes.blogspot.com

Bonus points if you’ve got a dog that would do well protecting the Sorcerer’s Stone.

via buzznet.com

8. Shark

Finally some excitement in your life.  Who hasn’t secretly cherished the dream of one day living with a pet shark? Boring, imaginative fools, that’s who.

via dogswearingcostumes.blogspot.com

9. Turkey

This one will also come in handy for Thanksgiving.

via kshumane.org

10. Lion

It isn’t difficult to argue that lions are far superior to dogs.  Sometimes a fierce mane is all that’s needed to take your dog’s look to the next level.

via dogswearingcostumes.blogspot.com

• AHTILA, Eija-Liisa: In If 6 Was 9 (1995-1996), Finnish artist Eija-Liisa Ahtila presents a "complex fiction" about the desires and sexuality of a group of adolescents.
• AHWESH, Peggy: Peggy Ahwesh's She Puppet (2001) appropriates video captured from the game Tomb Raider and adds voiceovers and other soundtrack elements to make Lara Croft an avatar of the uncanny: an alien, orphan, and clone. The Star Eaters (2003) is "[a]n inconclusive treatise on women and gambling. The allure of risk taking and excessive behavior, play acting and a penchant for failure combine in this fairy-tale set in the abject landscape of decay and abandonment that was once glamorous Atlantic City. A sentimental education at the seashore off-season."
• AKERMAN, Chantal: The short film Saute ma ville (1968) prefigures several visual and structural elements of Belgian filmmaker Chantal Akerman's much more well-known Jeanne Dielman, 23 Quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles (1975)--kitchen scenes, quiet moments, and a dramatic twist ending [trigger warning: summary with spoiler].
• ANTIN, Eleanor: From the Archives of Modern Art (1987) by Eleanor Antin is a fictional collection of silent films that assembles "the 'lost years' of Eleanor Antinova, the once-celebrated black ballerina of Diaghilev's Ballets Russes, when she returned to her native America to eke out a meager living in vaudeville and early cinema."
• BARTANA, Yael: In Kings of the Hill (2003), Israeli artist Yael Bartana documents a gathering of 4-wheel drive owners engaging in a simple, understated public performance of their passions and identities.
• BENGLIS, Lynda: In Lynda Benglis's Female Sensibility (1973), "[a]s two heavily made-up women take turns directing each other and submitting to each other's kisses and caresses, it becomes increasingly obvious that the camera is their main point of focus. Read against feminist film theory of the 'male gaze,' the action becomes a highly charged statement of the sexual politics of viewing and role-playing; and, as such, is a crucial text in the development of early feminist video."
• BERNADETTE CORPORATION: Get Rid of Yourself (2001) is Bernadette Corporation's "video-film-tract addressed to those who anonymously embody the return of political activism within Empire. While its initial sounds and images were filmed during the riots in Genoa, 2001, these materials are pulled apart and recomposed in order to locate the intensity of a shared experience, rather than producing one more documentary version of the programmed and hyper-mediatized confrontation of the G8 counter-summit."
• BRADERMAN, Joan: Joan Braderman creatively examines the tropes and the pathos of a popular TV soap opera in Joan Does Dynasty (excerpt; 1986).
• CALLE, Sophie and Gregory Shephard: In Double Blind (excerpt; 1992), "French conceptual artist Sophie Calle joins with Gregory Shephard ... Armed with camcorders, Calle and her collaborator/partner Shephard head West in his Cadillac convertible to produce and document a real-life narrative of their journey and their relationship. With America as the backdrop for this unconventional coast-to-coast road movie, Calle and Shephard each narrates and records a personal diary, presenting strikingly different versions of the narrative/relationship."
• CAMPBELL, Colin: In an excerpt from The Woman From Malibu (1976), Colleena (Canadian artist Colin Campbell) narrates a brief, tragic story.
• DASH, Julie: Julie Dash wrote and directed the independent feature film Daughters of the Dust (1991), which "tells the story of a large African-American family as it prepares to move North at the dawn of the the 20th Century" and "explores the unique culture of the Gullah people, descendants of slaves who lived in relative isolation on the Sea Islands off the Georgia coast." Trailer, director's clips, and 'the making of' videos.
• DUFRESNE, Angela: not (2007) is Angela Dufresne's short, ironic video about a woman visiting and appreciating the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
• EMIN, Tracey: In Why I Never Became a Dancer (1995), English artist Tracey Emin tells a story about her "early teenage years spent kicking against the boredom of the seaside town, Margate, where she grew up, and experimenting with sex from an early age until she became disillusioned with men and turned instead to dancing ... Humiliated by a group of local boys, most of whom she'd slept with, Emin discovered the hypocrisy of small-town attitudes towards liberated female sexuality."
• GILLIGAN, Melanie: Popular Unrest (2010) is Canadian artist Melanie Gilligan's online "multi-episode drama set in a future much like the present. Here, however, all exchange transactions and social interactions are overseen by a system called 'the Spirit'. A rash of unexplained killings have broken out across the globe. They often take place in public but witnesses never see an assailant. Just as mysteriously, groups of unrelated people are suddenly coming together everywhere, amassing new members rapidly. Unaccountably, they feel a deep and persistent sense of connection to one another."
• HAMILTON METCALFE, Rohesia: Rohesia Hamilton Metcalfe's La Blanchisseuse (1995) evokes paintings of laundresses by Edgar Degas, Honoré Daumier, Edouard Manet, Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, Edward Stott, and others in a meditative examination of domestic work, the emotional pull toward nurturing others, and the "sense of betrayal and rejection that can be the reward for providing such care."
• HARNEY, Tanja: In Talo (The House) (2012), Irish/Finnish artist Tanja Harney creates a sublime portrait of a home, carefully maintained but mysteriously unoccupied. In Repair, Rewind, Restore (2009), she peels apples and stitches the peels back together to hang them on a tree.
• HAYES, Sharon: In Symbionese Liberation Army (excerpt; 2003), Sharon Hayes enlists the audience's help with her lines as she re-enacts Patty Hearst's taped messages to her family.
• HEISE, Henriette, and Jakob Jakobsen: Trauma 1 - 11: Stories about the Copenhagen Free University and the surrounding society in the last ten years reflexively and hypnotically evokes an abstraction--the invention of an institution--by Danish artists Henriette Heise, Jakob Jakobsen, and others.
• HERE'S LUCK: here's luck is a "fangirl (spoiler-free), occasional vidder, all-purpose geek" who appropriates video from popular TV shows and edits them into music videos: Come On (2002); New Frontier (2006); Strength in You (2008); All We Have (2010); Love at First Sight (2011); and more.
• JONAS, Joan: In the pioneering work Vertical Roll (1972), we see Joan Jonas's "alter-ego Organic Honey performing a series of actions in a series of costumes, mediated by the intentional use of a common televisual malfunction for which the piece is titled, the vertical roll."
• JULY, Miranda: Getting Stronger Every Day (2001) is a short video by Miranda July, which she explains: "There are two movies I saw on TV about boys who were taken from their families and then returned to them years later. One boy was on a fun spaceship for years and the other boy was kidnapped and molested. These boys were never the same again and they just couldn't re-integrate into the family. I saw these movies when I was little. I've often described them to people, always paired together. They are sort of the comedy and tragedy version of the same story and it is a mundanely spiritual story. Getting Stronger Every Day includes these boys' tales, but they are like mystical objects placed on the living reality of the man storyteller. In other parts of the movie actual mystical objects hover in peoples lives without a myth or story attached. I like to think about how these dimensions interact simply and can be enacted: real life / story / worldly / spirit / video / flat drawing." [As an aside, Miranda July's email project We Think Alone has around six weeks remaining.]
• KUSAMA, Yayoi: The experimental film Kusama's Self-Obliteration (1967)--parts one, two, and three--showcases the early work of Japanese artist Yayoi Kusama, which builds productively on the atypical neurology she has chosen to embrace.
• LINDEN, Liz: Liz Linden's Inside Out (2009) collects clips from popular TV shows in which pregnant actresses portray characters who aren't pregnant. The Truth About Advertising (2011) is "a dual-screen video juxtaposing and inflecting the near-identical opening scenes of 'Boomerang,' (1992) starring Eddie Murphy, and 'Nothing in Common,' (1986) starring Tom Hanks, both movies about greedy, womanizing advertising executives whose priorities are changed by the love of a good woman."
• MINTER, Marilyn: In Marilyn Minter's Green Pink Caviar (2009), a woman's nose, lips, and tongue press in slow motion against a clear glass surface coated in brilliant viscous fluids to create a strange but aesthetically compelling effect.
• MIR, Aleksandra: Organized Movement (2004) is Aleksandra Mir's video diary of a one-month-long project in which 20 artists gathered in Mexico City to produce a series of works which had, as their one creative constraint, to be made with materials and labor available in the city's historic center.
• MOGUL, Susan: In Dressing Up (excerpt; 1973), Susan Mogul puts on clothes while talking about her and her mother's shopping habits. In Take Off (1974), she sits behind a table and demonstrates the use of a vibrator.
• NASAWIYA: The Adventures of Salwa (2011) is a series of brief animated shorts by Nasawiya, a collective of feminist activists, intended to raise awareness about sexual harassment in Lebanon.
• NEGUS, Christine: Canadian artist Christine Negus makes short videos (often animated) that are witty, vulgar, morbid, strange, and sometimes moving: secret galaxy (2009) [trigger warning: molestation]; we can't see their shape from this far away, but we can hear them (2009); wild horses couldn't drag me away (2009); forget. (2010); hope/alone (2010); stillborns (2010); the only light (2010); bloodbath (2012); frozen giants (2013); host or ghost (2013); our home (2013); slit me a river (2013).
• ONO, Yoko: In Yoko Ono's Fly (1970), "[t]he camera follows a fly as it walks about the body of a nude woman. Shot in extreme closeup (and accompanied by Ono's eponymous song), the film sets out to celebrate the human body."
• ORR, Elizabeth and Emma Hedditch: Elizabeth Orr (US) and Emma Hedditch (UK) collaborated on the music video "Lost Triangle" (2012) as well as Sitting Up (2012), a meditation on production, consumption, and the web. Orr's work also includes the music video "Little Bone of Pain" (2012) and short pieces such as $$$ (2011) and Steak (2013)
• PLUMB, Shannon: In short films such as Commercials (2001), Paper Collection (2007), and Matinee (2009), video artist Shannon Plumb playfully evokes the history of TV, film, and fashion from a feminist point of view.
• RIST, Pipilotti: (Entlastungen) Pipilottis Fehler (excerpt; 1988), a.k.a. (Absolutions) Pipilotti's Mistakes by Pipilotti Rist, richly exemplifies 80s-era video styles: "[p]recisely edited to the start-stop rhythm of a martial beat and post-punk rock music, Absolutions glories in organized disjunction, juxtaposing images of the artist collapsing to the ground with bursts of wildly scrambled electronic distortion."
• SHERMAN, Cindy: Doll Clothes (1975) is Cindy Sherman's stop motion animation of a realistic paper doll trying to get dressed and admire herself in the mirror. A concluding image calls to mind the ghost images of a moving figure, akin to Nude Descending a Staircase, No. 2.
• STEELE, Lisa: The Gloria Tapes (excerpt; 1980) and Talking Tongues (excerpt; 1982) portray mundane but difficult scenarios faced by imaginary women, illustrating typical strategies of representation in Lisa Steele's conceptual anthropology.
• STEINER, A. L. and Nicole Eisenman: A. L. Steiner joins with Nicole Eisenman to form Ridykeulous and create Times Square SCUM MANifesto (2011), a video that features ordinary people in Times Square reading aloud sections of the S.C.U.M. Manifesto (Society for Cutting Up Men) by Valerie Solanas.
• WELBON, Yvonne: Living With Pride: Ruth Ellis @ 100 (trailer; 2013) is a documentary by Yvonne Welbon. "Born July 23, 1899, in Springfield, Illinois, Ruth Ellis was the oldest 'out' African American lesbian known. The film offers a rare opportunity to experience a century of our American history as lived by one inspiring woman. By example, Ruth Ellis shows us what is possible and what can be realized, if one not only lives long and ages well but also lives with pride. Ruth Ellis died at home peacefully in her sleep on October 5, 2000. She was 101."
• WIELAND, Joyce: Rat Life and Diet in North America (1968) is an aggressively challenging political allegory by Canadian experimental filmmaker Joyce Wieland. It uses manipulated footage of rodents overlaid with text and accompanied by an ear-splitting soundtrack to send a message "against the corporate military industrial structure of global village." However, peace obtains as the rodents escape to a happy life of cherry festivals and flower ceremonies in Canada.
• WILKE, Hannah: With Gestures (excerpt; 1974), Hannah Wilke drew attention to movements, poses, expressions, and meanings of the human body.
• WILLIAMSON, Margaux: In Teenager Hamlet (2010/2012), Margaux Williamson "explores how young people make art and make their morality in the city," generally through direct interviews, but occasionally through music, brief animations, appropriated TV footage, monologues and dialogues that keep returning to the topic of Hamlet, and a very loose sort of play in the woods.
• ZIEGLER, Kortney Ryan: Still Black: A Portrait of Black Transmen (trailer/excerpt; 2008) by Kortney Ryan Ziegler presents "the stories of six thoughtful, eloquent and diverse transmen. Preachers, teachers, students and activists educate us simply by making their presence known. Each man brings a colorful and complex richness as he describes his relationship to himself, as well as others in his life--the cadence of his voice keeping in rhythm with how the speaker displays himself to the camera" (additional clip).

• Syllabus for Kunst with Kameras: The History of Feminist Video, a 24 Hour Masterclass.
• Review of Reflections on the Electric Mirror: New Feminist Video.
• Black Feminist Film School's List of Recommended Films & Filmmakers.
• Feminist Frequency's Feminism in Focus: Interviews with Feminist Video Creators.

Hustler's porn parody of Lena Dunham's HBO show Girls now has a trailer and…well, here it is. (Don't worry, this is the SFW version.) This Ain't Girls XXX will see Hannah "forsake men, and boyfriend Adam, to experiment with lesbianism." When the parody was announced in May, Dunham was justifiably upset that her feminist series, which goes out of its way to portray realistic sex, was being used as the inspiration for porn. She also admitted that it just grossed her out, and I'm guessing this trailer won't change her mind. Below are all her tweets about the porn:

Okay, I wracked my brain to articulate why I can't just laugh off a porn parody of Girls and here are 3 reasons:
— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) May 24, 2013

1. Because Girls is, at its core, a feminist action while Hustler is a company that markets and monetizes a male's idea of female sexuality
— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) May 24, 2013

2. Because a big reason I engage in (simulated) onscreen sex is to counteract a skewed idea of that act created by the proliferation of porn
— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) May 24, 2013

3. Because it grosses me out.
— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) May 24, 2013

It's important to me to be honest about the complexities of having that out in the world. Love, Lena (porn name: Murray Broadway)
— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) May 24, 2013

It looks like John Mulaney's sitcom has found a home. THR reports that the Fox network has ordered the comedy, titled Mulaney, to series after NBC developed the show but passed on it in May. The Lorne Michaels-produced multi-cam show's original pilot (review here) starred Mulaney (who also created it), along with Martin Short, Elliott Gould, Nasim Pedrad, Griffin Newman, and Seaton Smith, but only Short and Mulaney are confirmed to return for the Fox version of the series. Pedrad, who would have left SNL to do the show at NBC but probably won't move be able to get out of her SNL contract to go to Fox, looks like she may have her role recast along with Elliott Gould.

Check out our review of the original pilot taping here.

After NBC passed on the show, Fox ordered a new version of the pilot script in July, with the expectation being that they'd pick up six episodes if they liked the new draft, and the series order looks like it's still for six episodes. The original pilot followed Mulaney, a popular standup and SNL writer, playing a fictionalized version of himself, struggling to be a good person while dealing with his roommates (Pedrad, Newman), game show host boss (Short), and wise gay neighbor (Gould). John Mulaney had SNL writer Marika Sawyer, Tina Fey's 30 Rock co-showrunner Robert Carlock, and 30 Rock and Parks and Rec producer David Miner working on the pilot, but there's no word if any of them are returning either.

This is just the latest example of Fox making the kind of smart, critically-acclaimed show NBC used to make, and one that's filled with NBC veterans a la Brooklyn Nine-Nine and The Mindy Project. It took a while, but Mulaney has finally found a home.

UPDATE: Splitsider has learned that Elliott Gould won't be returning for the Fox version of Mulaney.

*** Fanch The System !!! ***

First things first – this won’t be a fanboy or a butthurt description of PUA & The Game. I’ll try to give a balanced description of why I think that learning The Game (which I will use here as a term that is intended to cover all the various ‘schools’ of picking up women) can be either the best or the worst thing to ever happen to you. I won’t mindlessly glorify it, I won’t mindlessly hate it.

So, why do I think I’m qualified to pass judgment on The Game? Because I went from the most stereotypical Nice Guy possible to a quite bad version of The Asshole and then I grew up. And The Game both helped and hindered me all at once all the time.

This will be somewhat autobiographical, but bear with me. I would like you to know what The Game did for me. If you don’t understand that, you can’t understand where my opinion comes from.

So, history first. If you’re reading this, I expect you know what a Nice Guy (a.k.a. AFC -Average Frustrated Chump) is. In case you don’t, think sci-fi, videogames, too much time on the internet…

That used to be me in High School. Looking back, I can only laugh at my social ineptitude. But back then, not even getting a second date, much less kissing a girl was highly traumatic. So I did what many Nice Guys with a bazillion female ‘just-friends’ do. I turned to the internet in search for a solution. And voila, I stumbled across my first ‘PUA Guru’. The names aren’t important here though.

What is important is that, before I found The Game, I didn’t have the slightest idea about how to behave around women. I took ideas from romantic comedies and advice I got from my female friends and my mother (my father wasn’t in the picture). That stuff didn’t work.

So when I found The Game, there were these men, who were telling me it’s not my fault that I can’t get laid (I would’ve settled for 1st base back then). They were telling me that there are many other guys like me around, and that the problem is not us as men but rather in how society brought us up. They were telling me that I was the victim of a broken system that didn’t give me the right skill- and mindset.

They were telling me that they can help me.

So I did what almost everybody does when offered the chance to be a victim. I dived right in.

I started to read about how to talk to women with NLP (Neuro-Linguistic programming) patterns. I started learning how to be cocky and funny. I started to read about stages of attraction, openers, psychology, body language…

And I also started to apply all of this to my interactions.

At first, I would take the stuff as it was presented to me and simply try to use it. There was the added difficulty that I had to properly translate everything, if I wanted to apply it in my language where I live. But I finally had a system that I believed was actually going to help me.

And it did. A year after I found The Game, I moved to another city, met a nice girl and spent the next 2.5 years with her, all the while learning more about The Game and applying it in the relationship.

My confidence grew, as my interactions with other women also started improving. At the end of those 2.5 years, my ego was sky-high. I was convinced I could get any girl I wanted, so I ended the relationship and set out in search of something new. A month later, I was in a new relationship.

Take a minute and picture a peasant that had to obey his whole life suddenly given absolute power over the whole world. That’s how drunk it made me. While my girlfriend was the personification of the concept of a good girl, I became more and more the personification of The Asshole. Eventually I broke up with her too. I wanted more.

Fortunately, deep down, my inner nice guy (or perhaps good guy) wasn’t dead yet. I started feeling remorse. I swore to myself I wouldn’t just blindly follow what I was taught any more. I knew for fact that the stuff worked, for me at least. But I also knew it turned me into a complete ass.

So about 5 years after the first time I found The Game, I went back and reread EVERYthing I had collected over the years.

And in light of the experiences I got, the picture suddenly started changing.

And this is the part, where my Game Philosophy started to branch off from the literal interpretation to (what I believe is) adhering to the spirit of The Game.

Most haters will say that The Game is about dedicating your life to supplicating to a woman’s every wish.

Most fanboys will say that The Game is about doing what you alone want.

I believe that the truth is a mix of both.

If you take the gurus literally, you have to constantly try and spot what she (subconsciously or not) wants in any given moment, so you can give it to her and thereby move to the next stage of the seduction. However that means that you treat every interaction as a project, and, while you might enjoy completing a project, your focus won’t be on her but on the completion itself, which will mess you up for relationships. At least it messed me up.

And in my next relationship, that messed-up-ness was still heavily showing. I managed to contain my inner asshole somewhat, but now I was taking everything for granted. Not because the relationship was so routine, but because my ‘goal’ was achieved the moment the relationship started. The project was over so I didn’t really know what to do next. I was so focused on getting it so I didn’t know what to do with it.

This time, she broke up with me and it hit me hard. It was the first time in 5 years that I was the one getting dumped and it brought me back down to earth.

So what did I take from that?

The confirmation that taking the gurus literally will only bring trouble. Yes, you should try to make her feel good while she’s around you. But not because that’ll get you laid. If you genuinely enjoy her company and if you really like her, you’ll want to make her feel good because that alone will make you feel good. This way, you’ll start enjoying the interaction itself, and the potential sex/relationship will just be icing on the cake. And guess what? One of the top axioms of The Game is that the less you care about the outcome, the better you’ll do.

That fully applies. It does. However most literal followers of The Game and most haters take that to mean you’re not supposed to care about the woman you’re with, which couldn’t be farther from the truth, in my opinion. You definitely should care about her. You’re there with her, communicating with her. You decided to spend time with her and she decided to spend time with you. It’s just common courtesy and sense that you would care about her. But there’s a difference between expecting wedding bells/sex or just a fun date. And in case it’s not clear, I believe that a fun date should be your priority. And I have yet to meet a woman (or anyone for that matter) that wouldn’t want to repeat a fun evening.

And here’s another gem of Game wisdom. Literal followers/haters would claim that The Game is all about treating a woman like a biological machine, where just hitting the right combo of emotional buttons will get you what you want. Some might even hear the claim that one should try to completely shut off a woman’s rational brain and only play on her emotions.

Again, this is an example of a common sense psychological concept – people like feeling good and if they feel good around you, they’ll like you better for it – taken way too far.

The same goes with Cocky and Funny – literally understood as being an arrogant smartass – which, I believe, is all about having a sense of humor that goes beyond fart ‘jokes’, and about having the confidence, to friendly tease a woman, like you might your little sister.

If you’re not sure what the difference between ‘arrogant smartass’ and ‘confident tease’ is, the former will get you slapped in the face or bathed in wine, and the latter will get you a playful slap on the hand or a gentle punch in the shoulder.
I could go on and on and on, as there are many more examples.

The idea that you should have stock conversation starters – are they lame pickup lines or a crutch for guys who are not confident enough yet to simply start talking to a stranger?

The idea that you should have stock stories – are they lies, lies, and more lies, or are stories a way to tell someone about yourself in a way that’s actually interesting?

The idea that you should actively use the knowledge of body language and psychology – is it cheap manipulation or a way for the socially handicapped to lead a normal life?

I’ll focus some more on the last one, since body language is the one thing I spend most time on. I grew up as a geek, and even though now nobody could tell, if I didn’t start talking about Star Wars/Trek for example, I used to be completely socially inept. I could work semi-well with males, but with females, especially those I liked, I was a nervous wreck.

It’s common knowledge that if women live together long enough, even their periods will sync up. That’s the ultimate level of what’s called mirroring, when people have good rapport. A more everyday example is when two people are getting along really well; they will start to mirror each other’s body posture, speed and pitch of speech, even speech patterns. When one drinks, the other will very soon follow etc. That happens naturally for people that are feeling relaxed.

Guys that seek out The Game do not feel relaxed when dealing with women. That’s their whole problem. So they use the stuff they get from Gurus as a crutch. It gives them at least the illusion of a small amount of control and for many that’s enough so they can finally relax at least a bit. And relaxed men are way more attractive to women.

Why do people dislike, even hate men who try to learn and apply The Game? Because they’re perceived as creeps who are only trying to manipulate women into sex.

And that is really not a fair assessment for most of them.

Agreed, there is a certain percentage that only wants to use this to get laid as much as possible. But they’re about as common as the radical feminists, MRAs or any other radical wing of any ideology or movement – not that common. Most guys are only trying to improve their chances of meeting a good woman they could form a real relationship with. I am quite sure that most of them feel resentment towards women to some degree, because of past rejections, and most, if not all, will likely go through an asshole phase, just like I did. I won’t say that’s a good thing or fair to the women they hurt because of it. It is a logical consequence though, and sooner or later most will work through it.

One of the most important concepts, and I think the only one that is really shared among all different ‘schools’ of The Game is the concept of ‘Inner Game’. They have different expressions for it, but the meaning is the same.

They all believe that a man must first and foremost improve himself, if he is to be successful with women or anywhere else. A man must have confidence. He must stand up for himself and his convictions. He must take care of his physical appearance. He must learn how to behave and manners in general. He has to be able to enjoy life by himself. He has to find and strive for a higher goal. Once he does all this, he will be naturally attractive to women.

This is the core principle behind all of The Game. Men have to improve themselves. While it may sound objectifying, I believe that being attractive to women is, in this case, simply a motivation that works for most men.

All the talk about openers and strategies that supposedly get you laid taught me that you should not only fake listening, but rather strive to hear what a woman is telling you. I believe that makes me a better partner now.

All the talk about how you should tell stories that show how dependable, respected, exciting etc. you are taught me that you should strive to develop these and other positive character traits and to engage in life so I wouldn’t need to make up stories – I would have interesting ones of my own. And I believe I do now.

All the talk about noticing details about women and their body language taught me that being perceptive is important, and so is knowing at least the basics of body language. This helped me through many important human interactions and got me through job interviews. Not to mention that now I notice when my partner is troubled. Men complain that they are expected to be mind-readers. They don’t have to be. Becoming body-readers is enough.

All in all, I believe that after you stop taking The Game literally, all it teaches and encourages is how to become a better man in the 21st century, when a giant biceps just isn’t enough anymore. Today, I wouldn’t classify myself as a nice guy anymore. Neither would I say I’m an asshole or a player. I’m just me. I like spending time with women and I enjoy their company and they seem to enjoy my company as well. I still have my ups and downs, nice guy and jackass moments. It happens. But now, I know how to recognize them. These years of studying and living The Game taught me to appreciate the value of a real relationship. They taught me that women do not deserve any less respect for being different than men. They taught me that once we’re actually equal, only then can we actually enjoy spending time together.

And most importantly, they taught me that self-improvement is more important than anything else.

After I got into the world of The Game, I, like many others, despised the most common piece of advice men get from women on this topic: ‘Just be yourself.’ Now I wholeheartedly agree with it. Be yourself. But be the best yourself you can be and you’ll have no problems in life.

So if there’s a final piece of advice I can give to a guy that’s just starting out on the path I walked, it’s this. Once you get a girlfriend, listen to what she’s trying to tell you. Not what she’s literally saying, mind you, but what she’s trying to tell you. And then do it, because it’s likely a good idea. Always remember that the woman that really loves you just wants to help you become the best you can be. And usually, in my experience anyway, she knows the way there better than you, even though she might not know how to best explain it. So don’t just listen to her. Hear her.

1. itsjill

Do shower math when you wake up to see how long you have to sleep and if it’s even worth showering or go back to bed and put your hair in a bun for work.

2. klcna

When hairs fall out in the shower I don’t want to clog the drain so I put them on the shower wall and do a little swirl so they are neat and ready to be put in the garbage when I’m done.

3. bekahrama

Laughed or coughed so hard when you’re on your period and more blood or a blood clot comes out. Then you have to do a quick waddle walk to the bathroom cause you feel like you just turned on the faucet.

4. cupcakegiraffe

When you think nobody is looking, you readjust your bra, stick your hand in, pull ‘em up one at a time, straighten the band and straps, and add an extra squeeze to make sure everything is in its place.

5. circus_snatch

Sit in a strange position when farting, so the fart bubble does not go up the cooter.

6. MoreNutella

Tried on a shirt that was too small, then started to panic in the dressing room after realizing how restrictive it is when you can’t get it back off over the boobs.

Start thinking that you either have to 1. buy the shirt and live in it now, or 2. they’re going to have to use the jaws of life to remove it.

7. flying_pekinese

After shaving, wear silky or satin-y PJs.

8. femmenon

I roll around in my bed going, “SMOOOOOOTH!”

9. JMango

Open my mouth really wide while putting mascara on. Also, redoing updos 30 times even though I’m pretty sure it looks the same every time.

10. wadyflamers

Kegels. Kegels in meetings at work. Kegels in the movie theatre. Kegels at dinner with friends. Kegels everywhere. If you’re talking to me, and I’m sitting, I am definitely kegeling.

11. Drenken

Instantly every girl who reads this does a Kegel.

12. amandalauren

Got on all fours in front of a mirror to see what doggystyle looks like from the dude’s perspective.

Not bad.

13. antichrist_superstar

When you wear a tight pair of pants and there is the seam that creates a little bulge right in the crotch, when you sit it presses against your vagina nicely, so you wiggle back and forth a bit to enjoy it. I can’t be the only women that has felt it or enjoyed it.

14. febreeze358

Don’t have a tampon when you start your period… fold up toilet paper, place in the middle of underwear, struggle to pull up pants without dislodging the padding, walk unnaturally in an attempt to not mess up the paper… failure. Just… failure. Bloody, shredded paper in your underwear when you get home.

15. fandabidozichu

Cup shower water in my boobies then unleash the water torrent on my walls/toes.

16. KlaireBop

Spending 30 mins in front of the mirror trying to get the “cat eye” liquid eyeliner just right. So far I’ve never succeeded.

17. Waitwhatnow

Place hands in crotch for warmth.

18. thenewchornogrophers

That amazing back/stomach scratch when you take your bra off after a long day. Best feels ever.

19. reighbooker

I stick my hand down my pants all the time- watching tv, playing on the computer. It’s not sexual, I just hold my lady while I watch Netflix.

20. rcmeadows

Measure to see if our hair can cover our boobs/nipples in a playboy manner when just down. We all do it, I am sure of it.

21. sociallyawkwardjess

We masturbate to fall asleep quicker. But once you have one orgasm you’re like, oh wait, I can have another. So begins a vicious cycle.

22. KMKSouthie2001

Enjoy the rush of freedom and lack of constriction that comes from taking one’s bra off at the end of the day. Be free, my titties!

23. RosieJo

Sometimes I look down at my nipples and think they’re too soft and big so I flick them to make them small and pointy.

24. scoopl

Double checked to make sure I didn’t accidentally put in two tampons. Let me die of embarrassment now.

25. _dreamline

When trying to poop in public we try to pretend we’re not in the stall and act dead silent if someone comes in. We won’t poop until they’ve left the bathroom. If they came to poop there is usually a poop stalemate. Nobody wins in a poop stalemate.

In other situations in a public wash room: keeping the flusher held down while taking a tremendous dump to avoid smell and noise. Don’t deny you haven’t done this!

26. goatcheese

Purposely don’t shave vag when going out to avoid a hook-up.

27. iamseriously

The period check. When you’re sitting down, you “accidentally” drop something and while you’re bending over to pick it up, you sneak a peek between your legs to make sure you’re not leaking.

Also, indiscriminately doing the “check” for ANY fellow female who asks, regardless of who they are — even your worst enemy or someone you’ve never met before.

I know, I know, it’s all complicated and whatnot but I only read the media about it when it’s right in front of my face. Favorite part? ”It’s okay, you are only 15.” Classic.

The thing is that when I hear Tina Fey uttering her lines I believe that she means every word…minus some things, of course.

Last week my friend called to see if wanted to drink some scotch.

“Sorry. I can’t. Big first date tonight.”

“Nice. Where’d you meet her?”

“Umm…” I said, my hesitant response belying the truth.

“If you say Twitter again, I’m not going to speak to you for a week.”

“I, umm, we uhhh… I met her on, uhhh. LinkedIn?”

[Click]

…

A few months ago, I got invited to a happy hour hosted by fellow dating bloggers. I wasn’t interested in going, but I felt obligated since one of them personally invited me. Toward the end of the evening, she pulled me aside.

“Hey. I’ve seen how you flirt with some of your followers. Please, whatever you do, don’t become one of those guys that sleeps around on Twitter.”

My first reaction was “Wait, people can get laid using Twitter?”

My second thought was “Why wouldn’t I want to be known as one of those guys?”

My third move was to post immediately about the size of my penis.

“Reasonable, given my Jewish heritage.”

A follower asked if I was referring to my matzoh consumption.

Driving home, I was dumbfounded by this concept. Sure, Twitter is an interactive playground, but would girls really sleep with guys just because of how they tweet?

I had to find out.

My first few attempts were failures, hitting on girls with couple pictures as their avatars or ones that apologetically DM’ed later to say they were lesbian. But after eight months of blogging, incessant tweeting and meeting women, I have figured out the formula. And I am ready to present to all of you my seven-step, foolproof guide to get laid using Twitter.

Please note: Although this guide is tailored toward picking up women, it is not applicable to men alone. I believe it would work for girls as well, but I have never tried, as a female, to pick up a guy.

Step One: Create

“Welcome to Twitter!” your inbox reads. So now what? The first step is to cultivate your appearance. I have it easy because as an anonymous blogger, I don’t have post a photo of myself. But even if you have flaws, the World Wide Web is wonderful at hiding them. Got a lazy eye? Just hold your head askance, raise a martini glass to the left side of your face and congratulations. You are now sexy, mysterious and suave. It’s that easy.

As for the bio, the more esoteric the better. People are attracted to the unique and different. Go with something no one’s ever written before, like “I’m a sucker for the perfect mango salsa, but only if it’s served with Hint of Lime Tostitos” or “I’m watching four baby lemurs, but only until their mother comes back from her trip Marseille.” It doesn’t need to make sense. Just be intriguing. In doing so, you’ve already separated yourself from the morass of “20-somethings in our Nation’s capital just living the dream.”

Seriously, fucking two-thirds of my followers have that exact bio.

Step Two: Engage

What’s that? Attractive, spry women aren’t tweeting flirty messages at you right away? Well, opening an online door doesn’t just score you an internet blowjob. Think of Twitter as one gigantic bar. And every girl is four vodka sodas deep. If you stand in the corner and converse with your friends, shyly sipping Miller Lites, you aren’t going to meet anyone. You have to interact. It’s the same as hitting on women, but on Twitter, all the troublesome worries are removed. You don’t have to avoid staring at their boobs. You don’t need to instantly come up with a witty response. And you don’t need to be intimidated by looks. Flirt the fuck away.

Step Three: Tailor

This is critical. While it may work on a few women, the majority of them aren’t interested in knowing that you are about to slug a protein shake then max out on squats. “325 Brah. 325!”

You have to make yourself interesting to the person you’re interested in. And on Twitter, that’s unreasonably easy. You don’t actually have to score a behind-the-scenes tour of the Holocaust Museum to impress the girl who just tweeted about her Elie Wiesel Book Club. No. But you can tweet that while on your couch taking bong rips of opium. It’ll still make her heart flutter. The idea is not to be the perfect man, just to seem like the perfect man. Does she want a “guy who knows his way around a kitchen?” Well holy fuck, isn’t that a huckleberry pie you’ve got baking in the oven?

Step Four: Patience

This is the most important step of all. And the hardest.  If you engage a girl in a flirty little back-and-forth, think of it as calling her for the first time. The absolute last thing you would do is call her 45 minutes later to tell her that you were just thinking about how much you both love hamburgers. No. You would wait a few god damn days. Just because Twitter makes it easy to interact doesn’t mean you should.

A girl won’t notice if you don’t tweet at her for six days, but she sure as shit will remember if you hit her up four times in one hour.

Alongside patience, it’s important to pick your spots. Only tweet someone when you’re certain they’ll love the comment and respond. You want to make your charges swoon every time you tweet at them. So while you may absolutely want to write her when she asks if anyone “can recommend a good cocktail to forget a stressful day” it’s not going to help things if you suggest “Beer.”

Step Five: Direct Message

So you’ve got a healthy, interactive Twitter relationship going, one where she’ll respond when you tweet derogatory jokes about Moroccans. Excellent. So what’s your next step? Go back to Step Four. Be even more patient. There is nothing worse than someone who sends out a direct message after three or four good interactions.

“So, you seem fun. How’s about we grab a drink this week.”

No. No. And fucking no. It makes you sound like you have as much sex as Steven Hawking. Be patient. Seem like you don’t care. The odds are that if you two are already somewhat flirting publicly on the internet, she has some type of interest in you. It may be as mild as “he’s kinda funny” or “he looks cute in his avatar.” But it’s an interest. And you want to cultivate that.

What you do is send a DM out of nowhere, not in the middle of a conversation, but days after one has happened.

And no matter what, do not ask them out in your first message. Bring up some past conversation, make it seem like you are still dwelling on something they said. For example, if on Thursday you and your girl were talking about Pandora stations, DM her on Sunday.

“You were right, that Summer Hits of 2000 station is fantastic. Ever other song is Nelly. And I love Nelly.”

Now whatever you say in this step, do not ask a question. Your natural desire will be to do that, to force a response. Don’t. It makes you look weak. Like a wounded ocelot.

Step Six: Steer and Suggest

She’ll write back. Of course she will. You’ve spent days, weeks or even months creating a relationship to ensure this. And now, you’re privately messaging a girl you want to sleep with. So again, resist the urge to ask her out. Instead, steer the conversation toward things people can do together. Casually bring up activities or alcohol. Since you’ve been paying attention (stalking), you’ll know which cues tug at her emotional strings.

For example, Midway through direct messaging, drop an “oh by the way.”

“I’m going to Lucky Strike tonight. They have three dollar margaritas.”

If you’ve done everything correctly, she’ll respond, “No way! Bowling and tequila are my absolute two favorite things. But not necessarily in that order. LOL.”

To which you respond, “Are you kidding? That’s awesome. We should go bowling some time. And then maybe grab some margaritas afterward.”

And that’s it. You are all set.

Oh, wait. Step Seven. I forgot to mention that.

Step Seven is fucking. Hardcore, on-the-floor, rug-burn-inducing, Twitter-cultivated fucking.

This post originally appeared at BROBIBLE.

1. Real-job. (n). Something you do not have. Not to be confused with “job,” “real-job” is a conjunction that implies someone who works in a cubicle, at a company that started at least 10-15 years ago, with health benefits and an affinity for pantsuits.
Used in a sentence: “Oh, that writing thing, is that your real job?”

2. 401k. (n). A mystical and unknown fortress for the financially sound. An emblem of true adult responsibility.
Used in a sentence: “Where do you sign up for a 401k?”

3. Engaged. (adv). When someone loves another person so much they decide to get the government involved so they cannot leave them. For eternity.
Used in a sentence:  “She got engaged?! Sad. She had so much potential.”

4. Insurance. (n). A blessing bestowed upon a chosen few.
Used in a sentence: ”Who cares I’m on my parents until I’m 26 anyway.”

5. Settle. (v). A thing one does when they have no other options, particularly in the department of romance.
Used in a sentence: “I’m not going to just SETTLE for someone so I can get married by 25.”

6. Retirement. (n). As in, are you planning for yours?
Used in a sentence: “The biggest mistake 20-somethings make is waiting until their 30-somethings to start planning for retirement.”

7. Debt. (n). An insurmountable chokehold brought on by burgeoning bills that were traded in collateral for an education that society taught us was a necessity.
Used in a sentence: “Yes, I’m moving back in with my parents, I mean, it just doesn’t make sense to pay so much in rent when I have 75K in loans.”

8. Budget. (n). A theoretically crucial thing that serves to restrict monetary means to what’s necessary. A synonym for responsibility. Largely ignored.
Used in a sentence: “My budget is half my paycheck for things I couldn’t buy while I wasn’t working and the other half to bills because I basically owe Sallie Mae an organ at this point.”

9. Privileged. (adj). Those born with the resources to have everything on this list without working too hard, if at all. Kate Menendez.
Used in a sentence: “I don’t hate you because you’re privileged. I hate you because you’re an asshole.”

10. Graduate. (v). A ritual signifying passage into the “real world.”
Used in a sentence: “I cannot WAIT until I graduate.” Alternatively: “I am getting a Master’s to put off having to graduate for a little bit longer.”

11. Parents. (n). As in, you’re moving back in with yours.
Used in a sentence: “It’s just what everybody does these days… everybody moves back home with their parents.”

12. 20-Something. (n). An overused term to classify a group of people just trying to get their lives together one step at a time.
Used in a sentence: “No, yeah, I read it on a really awesome Thought Catalog article called ’20 Ways 20-Somethings Are Successful In Their 20′s’” 

Richard Lewis, a British linguist, is a consultant who helps businesses communicate and promote their services in foreign environments. To help understand the differences between cultures, he created this model. National cultures tend to be either linear-active, multi-active or reactive. What does this mean? Lewis explains:

Linear-actives — those who plan, schedule, organize, pursue action chains, do one thing at a time. Germans and Swiss are in this group.

Multi-actives — those lively, loquacious peoples who do many things at once, planning their priorities not according to a time schedule, but according to the relative thrill or importance that each appointment brings with it. Italians, Latin Americans and Arabs are members of this group.

Reactives — those cultures that prioritize courtesy and respect, listening quietly and calmly to their interlocutors and reacting carefully to the other side's proposals. Chinese, Japanese and Finns are in this group.

I'm inclined to agree with his placement of the dominant culture within the United States. It's linear, but tends toward a bit of multi-activity. We're essentially a commercial republic. Or maybe that's just how I'd like to see my own culture.

-via Ace of Spades HQ

POLL: Does Lewis's model fit with your impressions of different cultures?

• Yes, his descriptions are reasonably accurate.
• No, they're just stereotypes.
• Just show me the answers!

Reflexiones de Repronto alcanza su capítulo 50 con esta entrega dedicada a los videos de animalitos, que tiene el giro más inesperado que hemos podido encontrar y que además viene rematada con un making of:

Capítulo 50: “Gatitos”

Bola extra: Este es el capítulo 50, pero no el vídeo número 50, porque sin numeración están todos los especiales y también las promos. Contando ese material, el vídeo número 50 fue el dedicado a Bob Esponja: “Economía sumergida”.

Tiene nombre de tortuga ninja y unas tetas que son un jodido delirio de la anatomía. Firmes, redondeada, y con una areola prominente de esas que los angloparlantes llaman "puffy nipples" y que solo unas cuantas privilegiadas disfrutan. Michelle Angelo estaba buena a rabiar y además fue una pionera cuando al poco de empezar a posar para revistas masculinas (y lo hizo en más de un centenar) allá por 1966 se convirtió en una de las primeras modelos de perfil alto (salió con Omar Shariff, poca broma) en enseñar el matojo.

  

Librarian Shaming is an online confessional for librarians who have fallen from grace. Oh, for shame! And some of them are so racy that I thought it best not to republish them here.

Since my library director reads Neatorama (hi boss!)* I want to make it clear that I have committed none of these disgraceful misdeeds.

Except for getting shushed by a patron. Yeah, that once happened to me, too. But to be librarian shamed, I would have to have a sense of shame. As an uncloseted brony, I think that you can rule out that possibility.

-via Amanda Brennan

*Also: my mother-in-law.

Just because you’ve outgrown awkward car handies and your sexual repertoire has progressed passed the Thrust and Grunt, it doesn’t mean you’ve got nothing to learn when it comes to sex. In fact, there are some startling sex myths still percolating around the grown-up water cooler. Read on for 10 Things Most Adults Still Don’t Know About Sex:

1. Lots of sex/multiple partners will not loosen vaginal muscles. Vaginas are built to oust babies – you really think a couple dozen dicks are going to mess that up?

2. Most women don’t orgasm from penetration alone (and the rest are liars). Say it with me: clitoral stimulation.

3. Oral sex is still sex. Therefore, you can still get an STD from a quick front-seat-of-the-car blowey. Why do you think sex workers insist on using condoms for blow jobs?

4. Condoms are the ONLY contraceptive that protects against pregnancy and STDS. If you’re not in a monogamous relationship and you don’t get tested on the reg, wrap your shit up – no excuses.

5. Anal sex won’t make you incontinent. You’ll still be able to hold your shit together– but you may still want to start off in the shower for good form.

6. “Good” and “bad” are not definitive. “Good” sex is all about communication, and it varies from person to person, and couple to couple. You can have great sex with one person and terrible sex with another. Something that earned major Os with your last partner may not do anything for your current partner. Something that worked last week may not work this week. Our bodies are fickle, so learn to read body language and non-verbal cues.

7. Sex is not like pizza. Bad sex is not better than no sex at all. Especially for women, where bad sex usually means we don’t get off. Strive to have good sex, every time. This means focusing on getting your partner off as well as yourself. Sharing is caring!

8. There is nothing wrong with a man who doesn’t want sex. Oh, and men don’t necessarily think about sex more than women. Your sexual appetite is based on a variety of things—health, diet, self-confidence, body image, contentment with relationship—that have nothing to do with gender.

9. Pulling out/having sex standing up/having sex in a shower/having sex on your period does not prevent pregnancy. Pulling out doesn’t mean no sperm were released in pre-ejaculate. Like salmon, sperm can swim upstream, AND they can live in a vagina for up to seven days–so even if you’re on your period now, they may still be swimming around when you’re not.

10. Size only kinda sorta matters. The greatest debate of all. Most preference for a larger size is mental, not physical. So while your partner may care if you’re a grower or a shower, a great display of enthusiasm can outweigh any shortcoming with length or width.

1. krumpcake

WD40 is not a lubricant. The WD stands for water displacement. It will get rid of your squeak temporarily but evaporates quickly. Use a spray liquid silicone and give that WD40 to your grandma. Source: I’m an elevator mechanic

2. manateebacon

When changing a tire, loosen the lug nuts before you jack the car up. That way you won’t knock the car off the jack.

3. Dear_Occupant

If you put Gold Bond powder on your ballsack you will spend the rest of the day feeling like you have made love to wind itself. It’s wonderful. It’s like a breath mint for your balls.

4. Foxjitter

Tips for new fathers:

Invest in a nice set of precision screwdrivers and keep them on top of the fridge (or somewhere where you can easily access them). So many baby/toddler toys require a screwdriver to replace the batteries. Having a set devoted to this use where both you and wife can get to quickly is very handy.

Anytime there’s a party with kids (birthday, Christmas, etc.), make sure to take a knife, screwdrivers, and lighter. These can be helpful for helping to open gifts and lighting candles.

An ideal gift for your wife or a new mother is a spa day, or at least a massage. This gives them some much needed time away from the kids and stresses of home and gives them some time to relax and get some special treatment for their bodies.

Create a Google Doc shared between you and your wife with instructions for babysitters, including special instructions for the kids, emergency phone numbers, where the spare house key is kept (in case they get locked outside somehow), instructions for operating the TV, wireless router PW, and the full address to the home in case they need to use it for an emergency. Keep this document updated and just print out a new copy when needed.

Remember to date your wife.

Learn to be comfortable keeping your kids and taking them places on your own. This is good for giving mom a break and some quiet time at home without the kids, or watching them while she goes out for awhile.

Pull your own weight with washing bottles, washing and folding clothes, and keeping the house clean (vacuuming, clean bathrooms, etc.). This goes a long way helping your wife.

6. Brosalevski

No matter how far along she looks, no matter how obvious you think it is, don’t EVER ask a woman if she’s pregnant. Wait until someone else says something. It not worth the risk.

7. radiobrat78

She isn’t always right. She will appreciate you sticking up for yourself. Just don’t be a dick about it.

8. murthis

Keeping your fingernails neat and trimmed is a sign of sexual intelligence. No girl wants you venturing around her nether regions with jagged talons.

9. [deleted]

Applicable to both sexes, but every man should know anyways:

Invest in what goes between you and the ground. Mattresses, tires, and shoes.

10. adamzp

When shaving your Adam’s apple (hi I’m Adam by the way), in order to not cut yourself swallow and hold to make it ”flatter”

11. Gentleman_Anarchist

Don’t get caught up in the macho bullshit game. I spent a good portion of my 20s in the Army (and went to Iraq and Afghanistan) and was an angry tough guy before and after.

When I got to around 28 years old I realized the extent to which that sort of behavior had fucked me up and hurt folks around me, and started making an effort to do better.

Fuck all that noise, find things about life that are meaningful to you and don’t worry about how manly they make you. You’ll live a better, braver life if you do.

12. BraksOnBraks

Compliment anything you know a woman puts effort in to. It shows you’ve noticed and appreciate it. Whether they did it for themselves or an interest, they can still take that compliment to the bank.

Compliments work well in everyday social interaction, but I’ve also found that if you’re out at the bars downtown a legitimate compliment goes a long way to pique their interest in you. Part of it is because girls get hit on with some shitty line or a guy buys her a drink expecting he’s owed something. A compliment in passing is a good way to show you’ve noticed the effort, but keep walking with your friends to another part of the bar. Just do it. This is a good non-threatening way to see if she’s interested.

It only takes seconds for someone to determine visually if they’re interested. If you catch her looking more than a few times when she’s with her friends, it’s probably safe to say you can approach and talk a little. She’s watching you interact, what you’ve ordered, how you dress, your status with the group, status of the group, if you’re laughing, and the off chance you might be gay. It’s not a bad thing. It creates a dip in expectations if she’s attracted to you so when you do go to talk to her and her friends (ALWAYS INCLUDE THE FRIENDS. DON’T BE A HORN-DOG ASS-CLOWN) and you show interest in women. The compliment from earlier with compounded interest in her friends bring those expectations and her interest in you way higher than if you were to approach as a douche-bro.

13. Travesura

Ya gotta wash yer butthole.

Edit: and don’t be afraid to dig in a little. You have an inner and an outer sphincter, and there is usually a bit of shit residue left between the two, which with a bit of sweating will work its way out.

14. UnholyDemigod

Pressing on your gooch will squeeze out an extra few drops of piss, so you don’t end up with extra coming out when you sit back down.

15. Kijafa

A nicely trimmed and maintained beard looks good. A wild and unkempt neck beard looks trashy. Also, a little light cologne worn properly everyday will make people like you without even truly understanding why.

Edit: For reference I use 1-2 sprays on my wrist, then rub it against the other wrist and behind my ears. It creates a faint cologne aura by putting it on your wrists instead of your chest. Less actual smell, but a larger scent radius. Behind the ears is for huggin’ folks.

16. Kitsunami

Politeness and empathy is the key to all human interactions.

Don’t use “being honest” as an excuse to act like an ass. Being polite and honest are not mutually exclusive. If you say things like “at least I’m not bullshitting you” or “I just say what I feel” to excuse bad behavior, you are doing it wrong.

Being “nice” to people and having manners isn’t being fake. It’s being an adult.

Also, women are people too. This seems obvious, but I think a lot of young men don’t seem to realize the way they are behaving reflects that this isn’t something they are aware of. They aren’t a mysterious race of creatures that are all conspiring. They are individuals, shaped by predisposition and life experiences just like you. Treat them like they are just like you. Not like an obstacle to be overcome.

17. Brett53

Give a firm handshake when you meet someone. Look people in the eye. Smile. First impressions are everything.

18. islendengin

Don’t confuse growing up with not making mistakes, or never being wrong or being diplomatic all the time. Don’t confuse maturity with not showing emotions. Be enthusiastic about shit. Be pissed about shit. Allow yourself some one dimensionality and stupid arguments. It’s fun and it keeps life interesting.

19. ForeverNormandy

A steak needs to rest after it comes off the heat for a few minutes before you cut into it for maximum flavor.

You can use a rubber band to pull out a stripped screw by placing it in-between the screw and your screwdriver/drill.

Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed to ask questions when you don’t know something, more often then not the other person will be willing to show you.

20. Benda

Your late teens and 20s are the perfect time to start great habits. Your brains are not as ‘set’ (more elastic, etc.). Want to learn a foreign language? How to play music?

Stop procrastinating. It’s is very hard to develop these things past your late 20s or so I’ve been told. Remember that to become really good at something (as in ‘master’ something) most people need at least a good 10 years doing it over and over again.

Don’t wait until your 30s or later to start doing shit like I did. For example exercise habits…really hard to get into a routine if you’ve never done it. Laziness begets laziness begets laziness.

The time is now to stop fucking around. Don’t end up like me.

21. jackhackery

Beards don’t make you hot in the summer.
They make you cool.