via

Get your maps! Get 'em hot! If you stick around for the reveal at 1:14, you'll be glad you did.

Follow Hank Green on Twitter.

ORIGINAL: By Hank and John Green.

Tessa Taylor

The only films from the BFI's list that you must watch are Some Like It Hot, The Godfather and Singin' in the Rain. Of 100 Greatest Novels, you can happily ignore all of them except Scoop and The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie. I am assuming you've already read To Kill a Mockingbird for O-level. You must never swim with dolphins. If they ever want to swim with you, I'm sure they'll let you know.

LA HORA LOCA 3

sexy css girls originally appeared on My[confined]Space NSFW on October 7, 2013.

These listicles are fairly common, but I came across two striking ones recently. First, at BuzzFeed (via Glenn Reynolds), Justin Abarca writes 40 Things Every Self-Respecting Man Over 30 Should Own. Some items on it are sensible:

Well, you need to dress nicely to that job interview. I teach job interviewing at my school and I've found that a lot of my students don't know this. Yes, you need a decent suit and shoes to interview for any professional job or any non-professional job in a professional workplace (e.g. gopher in an office building).

If something breaks--man or woman--you may need to fix it yourself. And even if you don't need to, you can save yourself money by doing repair jobs on your own. You also gain a greater sense of control over your own life because you're not dependent upon other people to solve every problem.

Other items on Mr. Abarca's list seem outright silly:

A bar set could be handy. But if you regard it as essential for every man, then alcohol has too high a priority in your life.

And what they are saying is, "I am pretending to be someone who I am not." Own books to fill yourself, not to deceptively impress other people.

This Facebook comment summarizes my general impression of Mr. Abarca's list:

Amen to that! You are not stuff that you own. It is important to be able to do things (secure a good job, fix what is broken), it is not important not own particular things.

I agree more with Thirty Basics for the American Man by Cobb (via American Digest). Here's a novel addition to the common meme:

2. The Truth 
If it's the Bible or the Koran or the Constitution, somewhere in your possession you have to have a representation of the highest truths you believe. Not having that is almost as bad as not knowing what time it is. 

Interesting! I don't have a totem like this, although I think that a couple books that are meaningful to me could serve the role.

18. Family Portrait
Every man should have a family portrait, one photograph or painting that represents family. It might be just your sweetheart or your dad and mom. Maybe it's you and you little brother or your just your spooky great grandfather.  This is the first thing you take out of a burning building. 

Now this I do possess. In fact, I've made a point of gathering around me photos of my family for this purpose. While I write My Little Pony posts, my grandfather in his World War II US Army uniform looks at me.

I will, however, part with Mr. Cobb on this item:

8. Black Leather Jacket
I shouldn't have to say anything else. Save up, spend the money.

A leather jacket? I want to look like my father and grandfathers, not Fonzie.

What do you think, Neatoramanauts? What would you add or delete from these lists?

(Photos: Steffy-Beff, ABC)

The New York Times calls Twitter bios "a postmodern art form." What? I never paid much attention to the little blurbs on anyone's Twitter profile, because I rarely go to a profile, and I sorta know the folks there already. I did not know there was a Twitter bio style that has evolved.

The standard bio is a staccato string of statuses and interests separated by commas or periods. Frequently, one’s parental status is tossed in, particularly by men who seem to want public credit for fatherhood (“Proud papa to three adorable kids who destroy everything in sight”).

Then there are the addenda, the hobbies and passions and random facts. As Alex Blagg, a writer, noted in a blog post, these are often punctuated by self-aggrandizing words like “addict” or “junkie” (as in “coffee addict” or “CrossFit junkie”); “enthusiast,” “aficionado” or “geek” (“Breaking Bad aficionado”); the glamorous suffix “-ista” (“accountantista”); or the “super-heroic” tag of “guy” or “girl” (“war reporter guy,” “hedge fund girl”).

The article goes on to describe quite a few celebrities' bios and how well they fit in with the trends. Maybe I should start paying attention to those. Mine could probably be more trendy. What was I thinking, using a complete sentence? That's totally against the Twitter culture.

Alex doesn't tweet much outside of the Neatorama account, so I had to search. Did you know there are hundreds of Alex Santosos on Twitter? I don't recognize any of them. But I ran across my daughters, who are well aware of the modern conventions of Twitter bios.  -via Boing Boing

Photo: Anna Gorbunova - via Sib.fm

A lot of what we know about genetics come from studies using lab mice, so scientists at the Institute of Cytology and Genetics in Novosibirsk, Russia, came up with this tribute: a monument featuring a cute bespectacled mouse knitting a strand of DNA.

Prof. Nikolai Kolchanov of the institute said to Sib.fm, that the monument "symbolizes gratitude for the animal that humanity has used to study genetics, molecular and physical mechanisms of diseases, as well as for the development of new drugs."

The mouse was sculpted by local artist Andrew Kharkevich, who said, "It combines the image of the laboratory mouse and a scientists ... [The] mouse is captured in the moment of scientific discovery. If you look into her eyes, you can see that this little mouse has come up with something. But the whole symphony of scientific discovery, joy, "Eureka" have not yet been voiced"

A comparison between 7 original fairy tales and their altered Disney versions.


Would You Bloom | via

No, THIS is Detroit is an Imgur photo album by a Detroit resident fed off with seeing their city objectified as "exploitative ruin porn".

Desta volta falamos dunha palabra en perigo de extinción que ten dous significados e orixes distintas.

Ao falarmos de canivete, podemos estar a referirnos ben ao tubo onde se coloca o saco que contén a pólvora dun foguete. Ou ben pode definir unha pequena navalla, segundo o dicionario da RAG.

Aínda que no dicionario aparece canivete cunha única orixe etimolóxica, o certo é que deberiamos falar de dúas palabras homónimas, con historias diferentes e un resultado gráfico idéntico.

O canivete co que lle tiramos punta ao lapis é un anglicismo. De knife, que significa coitelo en inglés, o galego tirou esta forma (compartida co portugués). Posiblemente, foron os mariñeiros os que introduciron o termo xa que o contacto marítimo coas illas británicas deu outras formas hoxe propias coma brus (cepillo, de brush) ou piche (asfalto, de pitch). En portugués, a palabra alcanzou maior campo semántico xa que un canivete define un bisturí cirúrxico.

Cando nos referimos ao canivete que terma dos fogos artificiais, temos que reparar na forma cana. Canivete é unha forma diminutiva que se constrúe ao xeito doutros derivados de cana, caso de canaval. Aínda hoxe, o material que se utiliza xeralmente para fabricar as pezas do foguete é a cana galega ou valenciana.

Da forma canivete, por analoxía, xurdiron outros significados. Na Maraña, un canivete é alguén moi fraco, que apenas se pon en pé. Este significado emparenta co significado que ten no Brasil de cabalo moi fraco.

Ademais, canivete define o acto sexual, igual ca foguete. En Vigo moitas veces sentín dicir canigüei, forma evoluída e un tanto de xiria. Coma con moitas outras palabras galegas urbanas, castelanfalantes, especialmente os máis novos, usan canigüei pensando que é un termo castelán.

steampunk fuck originally appeared on My[confined]Space NSFW on October 6, 2013.

J.P. Hunter, the lead singer of Get Shot!

A week ago, Get Shot! was a relatively unknown punk band in Sacramento, but two days ago they released “Westboro Fingerbang,” a video of their bassist, Laura, masturbating on the front lawn of Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas. Since then, they've received over a thousand new facebook likes and literally become famous over night. I got in touch with the band's lead singer, J.P. Hunter, to talk about why he made the movie and what's next for Get Shot!

Why did you decide to shoot porn on the Westboro Baptist Church’s lawn?
J.P. Hunter: Everything in the book has been done to Westboro, but no one has actually filmed porn in front of their church. They're used to going to other people's sacred territory: gay soldiers funerals, other churches, Bon Jovi concerts, you name it. We're trying to put a stance out that says, “Don't be scared, you can fuck with these people.” 

How did you make the video?
We tour. We went to Kansas City, Topeka, and Denver, and we planned the little Westboro stunt. We were supposed to have a porn star and some other chick do it, but the porn star's agent called and said it violated her contract with her company, so she couldn't do it, and the other girl didn't want to get arrested. We didn't want to leave Topeka empty handed, and our bass player Laura wanted to leave sticky fingered. 

Considering you’re a small D.I.Y. punk band, how did this become a huge story?
We put out a press release. We're a small punk band, but we have some good [press and] marketing skills. Everything about us is D.I.Y. We've been a punk band for seven years, and we've increased in popularity, but nothing like the past day and a half. 

Do you consider this a porn project or a music project? 
Actually, it's [both]. In a way they're two separate entities—the website's only been around since July to get publicity for the band, because sex sells and music is boring now. I want to bring the party and fun back to rock and roll, because everyone is going to electronica and dupstep, because that's where all the naked bitches and cocaine is. 

Do you want Get Shot! to be associated with naked bitches and cocaine?
We ultimately want to bring the party back into rock and roll and make music fun again. Every since Kurt Cobain and the anti-idol thing, I think music has gotten pretty boring, and now one of your wildest acts out there is Miley Cyrus. 

What other contemporary musicians do you think are fun?
I haven't been to a fun show in 10 or 15 years except for my own shows. We're about having fun. We want to bring rock and roll back. 

What are the band members’ sex lives like?
The guys in the band [are] all heterosexual, [and] Laura is very bisexual, but we're very gay friendly. We played the Hookers Ball in San Francisco last year, and we raised a bunch of money for prostitutes to get off drugs. I consider ourselves pro-sex feminists. 

Does it piss you off that she gets all the pussy?
[She doesn’t get] all of it, but she definitely gets her fair share. 

Do you feel famous now?
We'll see, but I don't believe in being famous unless people remember your name ten years down the line. Porn, pussy, the girls—that [has] always [gotten] attention, ever since the caveman days. It's impossible to get famous from the music. You have to know someone or suck someone's dick. It's hard, if you're just simply a musician. 

Will you make money off of your porn project?
Since we put it out, we've been approved by a few talent agencies and some distributors, and I believe we're going to be on TMZ on Monday. When I get off the phone with you, I have to look over some contracts with my attorney. 

Do you have any other stunts planned?
We're definitely releasing more videos and movies on the porn site. We're actually doing a whole series of masturbation videos with our bass player in places you shouldn't masturbate. 

Sounds like people are more into the porn than the music. Would you abandon the music for the porn?
Never. I think I can keep them hand in hand. 

Fred Phelps responded to you via Twitter. Do you think it was actually him?
They have many accounts. At first I thought it was him, because it seemed pretty official, but I was told it might be a parody account. Some of the language he used was questionable, but we got official responses from Margie Phelps, and she's pissed. She and Shirley Phelps are really mad at us. 

What is she going to do about it?
Realistically, nothing. Legally speaking, if the City of Topeka wanted to press charges against us they could for indecent exposure, because we have video of it, but the City of Topeka hates Westboro, so I don't see them giving a shit.

Is Topeka on your side?
Yeah, I would say so. We've played there twice now and both our shows were packed, and we've made a name for ourselves, and I think people are pretty proud of us for what we did.

A tie-in to the exhaustive 2013 box set Sound System, the 2013 compilation The Clash Hits Back is a novel approach to a career retrospective: it mirrors the 24-song set list for the band’s July 19, 1982 concert at Brixton Fairdeal, then adds eight bonus hits at the end.
The Clash Hits Back slightly tweaks the running order of the original set — “Bankrobber” arrived five songs into the concert but appears eighth here — but that doesn’t matter much, as this swap doesn’t alter the impact of the original set. The Clash were plugging Combat Rock so songs from that LP — the singles “Rock the Casbah,” “Should I Stay or Should I Go?” and “Straight to Hell,” plus “Ghetto Defendant” and “Know Your Rights,” adding up…

320 kbps | 272MB | UL | TB | MC1+MC2 * FLAC

…to just under half the album — sit alongside a heavy chunk of London Calling and early hits, plus a few stabs at Sandinista!. What’s added at the end is a mix of their high-octane early material (“White Riot,” “Complete Control,” “Clash City Rockers,” Tommy Gun,” “English Civil War”) and their more adventurous studio recordings (“The Call Up,” “Hitsville UK,” “This Is Radio Clash”), adding up to a strong overview of all the band could do.

The Clash Hits Back (Columbia/Epic/Legacy/Sony Music (U.K.), 2013)

Disc 1

1. London Calling
2. Safe European Home
3. Know Your Rights
4. (White Man) in Hammersmith Palais
5. Janie Jones
6. The Guns of Brixton
7. Train in Vain
8. Bankrobber
9. Wrong ‘Em Boyo
10. The Magnificent Seven
11. Police on My Back
12. Rock the Casbah
13. Career Opportunities
14. Police & Thieves
15. Somebody Got Murdered
16. Brand New Cadillac
17. Clampdown

Disc 2

1. Ghetto Defendant
2. Armagideon Time
3. Stay Free
4. I Fought the Law
5. Straight to Hell
6. Should I Stay or Should I Go
7. Garageland
8. White Riot
9. Complete Control
10. Clash City Rockers
11. Tommy Gun
12. English Civil War
13. The Call Up
14. Hitsville UK
15. This is Radio Clash

"In New York City, if you yell "where do I get the F train?" at someone they will tell you, they might even STOP to tell you. If you ask them "Excuse me, I was wondering if you have a moment, I'm from out of town and my trying to find the F train, so if you could possibly..." If you set up your question with all that, they will have walked away from you after the fifth word.
In Seattle, if you are pushing your car for some reason, men will appear without a word and help you push. You'll be pushing, and the next thing you know, there are men on either side of you." -- Cultural Secrets that I Know

Switzerland to vote on $2,800 monthly 'basic income' for adults (reddit, mr; previously-er)

• Old utopian ideal revived on Swiss streets: "The campaigners say it is time for a broad public debate about the value of work in society and the widening gap between rich and poor – and more specifically to grant every legal resident in Switzerland contributions of CHF2,500 ($2,597) a month outright. The aim is to give everyone the right to self-determination and to live a life with less pressure, according to a promotional leaflet."
• Basic income – better off without working?: "The 'emancipation of Switzerland' or an 'attack on the welfare state'? The debate over a basic income"
• Streets of Basel paved with gold: "Switzerland does not have a minimum wage written into law. It does have bargaining arrangements between its workers and management and covers the majority of the working population. The founder and Daniel Häni both made The Basic income, a cultural impulse that praises the idea of a Basic income. The movie, directed by [sic] and Enno Schmidt, was released in 2008 and has been translated into more than ten languages including English, French, Slovak and Finnish."
• Swiss To Vote On Giving Everyone A Basic Income: "Will a basic work? It is hard to say. There have been studies proving that giving people a guaranteed basic income, regardless of their situation, can help them escape poverty. However, the monthly pay of 2,500 Swiss suggested by Generation Basic Income exceeds the federal budget of Switzerland by more than 300%, if we are to assume the number of adults is around 80% of the Swiss population. How it would be funded remains to be seen."
• Basic Income for Europe in 2014? "Switzerland is just one of several countries with a growing public interest in political activism, thought to be because of a developing network politics of political activists. This has caused many to wonder if Internet activism can develop into a true political movement and make any serious economic changes on a global basis."

1. miffy303

When he makes noise. I have no problem with being vocal myself, but oh my god, when he starts moaning I know it’s really good… excuse me I think I need to go be alone for a moment.

2. InkedNurse

Being caressed gently — touching my face, my hair… Running his hands across my skin — feels amazing and makes me feel delicate.

3. lafillelabas

when they make some comment like “woah, I’ll cum if you keep doing that.” Then it’s like “Challenge accepted!”

4. Not_impressed123

After we have sex and I want to go to sleep, my boyfriend tucks me in and kisses my forehead. He then goes on Reddit while I remain in a sex coma.

5. [deleted]

I know some guys may feel weird about being vocal, heavy breathing/moaning/groaning/saying how incredible something feels, but there is nothing that makes me feel more like a goddess than when I can hear his pleasure like that. Makes me feel like I’m doing everything right, and it makes me feel like I never want to stop driving him crazy.

6. [deleted]

The guy with whom I had the best sex I’ve had thus far would hold me in his arms and run his nose up my stomach to my neck, kiss all the way down my arms, and compliment me on my body. Every so often, he would look at me for a second and then just kiss me, like he couldn’t help it. When we actually had sex, he always made me feel like he wanted me so badly he couldn’t help it. It was one of the sexiest, most flattering things anyone has ever done to me.

7. veracosa

When he is fucking me without just doing the ole “in-out-in-out.”

It’s kind of a vertically rotational movement. When he enters, it is angled kind of like he’s trying to touch my belly with the end of his dick, then when he’s all the way in, he holds it for a second or two, and I can grind against him before letting go and sliding back out. Leads to more of a slow humping motion than “bouncing.”

8. jonesie1988

When he’ll do any and everything to make me orgasm. Also when he tells me how good is feel, smell and/or taste.

9. Amondapls

When I look away, or close my eyes, and I’m in my own world, then I look up at him and his eyes are glued to me, watching my face and body go crazy while he fucks me. He is 100% there with me, interested in what I’m doing, loving my body, makes me feel great.

10. SlightlyAmbiguous

Eye contact when he puts it in oh my god.

11. ruberta

Getting hard whenever we kiss, no matter what kind of kiss it is.

12. MissMuffin18

I’ve got to say, the best is when he tells you how much he enjoys pleasing you. For example, when he tells me how he loves going down on me, it makes me feel like I can do anything, and then it generally leads into more elation for the both of us.

13. oaksleia

When he touches and plays with my boobs.

14. sodomize_intolerance

Being aggressive. Dominating me like he can’t wait to fuck my brains out. Push me against the wall and just manhandle me. Throw me onto the bed and tear off my clothes. And talk dirty to me while you’re doing it.

Seriously. I can be as bossy and stubborn and dominant in the relationship, but when we’re having sex, I just want to be controlled.

15. danmach

[In response to the point above]:

This, I’ve found, is very common. It seems like a decent percentage of women I’ve had sex with have been very hard headed, stubborn, and vying for control a lot in a relationship. However when they get into bed they really get off on being dominated. It makes sense though because in a relationship the gender lines seem to be fading away a fair bit. There is an entire generation of women being raised with the iron clad ideal that relationships are even and both people should be on the same level.

Which is why I tend to only work with girls who are constantly keeping me on my toes and calling me on bullshit. We discuss most things and argue all the time about whats right or wrong. It keeps us both on the same page and it feels more open to me.

However when I get the lady in bed, or really just in the mood, they like being controlled. I think its because we ‘debate’ everything and in bed when I take control its because I want them so bad things aren’t open to debate anymore. Also I’m not a jack ass controlling dude in bed. A lot of it is me throwing them down and going down on them after a 10 minute session of aggressive sex. It comes off as an obession of mine to make them feel good and that I can’t contain myself from doing those things.

I feel certain thats how it seems because thats how I feel. In life I argue with my lady all the time about what we should do, what something means, anything and everything is open to discourse and debate. However in bed I know what I want and I go for it. We usually do have tender moments at the start and such but once things get naked, or shortly after, I run the show and its a show she enjoys.

Then again I’m over thinking this like a crazy person because I had a big energy drink and my lady hasn’t been over in 2 weeks.

16. [deleted]

He says things like, “Yes, baby, fuck me with that gorgeous pussy,” when I am riding him. I’d never been one for being on top before (I didn’t think I was very good at it, so I was always kind of reluctant), but when he says things like that it honestly makes me want to be on top all the time.

He also squeezes me so tightly and calls my name when he reaches climax; it turns me on, it’s so intense — and I’ve never experienced that level of, well, enthusiasm before. He often can barely move when he’s done, and has to lie on top of me for a while panting, usually still inside me. He confessed that nobody has ever made him cum as hard as I do, and that when he cums with me he feels like his head is going to explode (another thing that makes me feel like an absolute goddess – helloooo ego trip). Damn he makes me feel good about myself in bed… haha.

17. sunflower24

Keep on worshiping and telling me how my ass is fucking amazing. It will never get old. No matter how you keep on telling me this I will ALWAYS enjoy hearing it.

18. cuzshesmyruca

When I’m not really in the mood…and he tells me I’m in the mood. “Yes you are.”….and panties dropped.

19. GracieAngel

Being man handled, damn it I’m not going to break just because I’m skinny, really go for it.

20. deracinated

Cunnilingus, In the morning. Cunnilingus In the evening. Cunnilingus at supper time. I’m his little sugar, and he eats it all the time.

No seriously, cunnilingus, and surprise romance. Plus listening is key.

21. Kai-xale7

He gets visibly hard when he sees me… everytime… without fail. Makes me feel like a Sex goddess.

22. neptuneschild

My ex was unexperienced. But he always listened, he was always willing to try new things. He always did as I said. Absolutely made me feelike a Goddess.

23. GNSecret

My boyfriend has always been good in bed, but last week he told me to lay on my tummy, and then licked my ass for the first time ever. It was fucking HOT and felt amazing. The best part was the adoration in his voice when he’d pull away to tell me how hot it was and how beautiful my ass was before diving back in. A man who thinks your butthole is a thing to be worshipped is a keeper who gets a lot of blowjobs.

1. Laugh More.

There’s a reason they say laughter is the best medicine. Studies from the University of Maryland show that while relieving stress, laughter promotes a smooth blood flow and healthy blood vessels.

2. Don’t Worry So Much About Calories.

Calories aren’t the enemy. Calories are energy. If you boil down everything you eat to meaningless math, it takes all the fun out of food. Nutrition isn’t just simple numbers, but a commitment to knowing what’s in what you eat and taking ownership of it.

3. Get a Dog.

According to research, people who have dogs are twice as likely as those without to engage in regular exercise, probably because that adorable little mutt takes a half hour of schlepping before he shits.

4. Eat Actual Food.

If you can point to the food in Cheetos, I’ll give you a dollar. That doesn’t mean you can’t eat Cheetos, just remember that it’s empty calories, so you need to balance it out with something that has actual nutrients in it.

5. Switch to Water.

Americans are chronic snackers, but routinely filling up with water instead not only helps you meet your daily needs (of up to a gallon a day) but cuts back on that constant craving for nosh.

6. Eat More Fish.

Nutritionists have long argued for the merits of the Mediterranean diet (high in white meat and fish), because fish is high in Omega-3s. There’s a reason that Italians live longer. Having a healthy amount of fish can lower your risk of heart disease by up to 33%.

7. Drink Your Wine, Shelby.

Although moderate alcohol consumption in general helps prevent blood clots and artery build up while lowering cholesterol, the antioxidants in wine are argued to have a particularly positive effect — so long as your don’t drink too much. The same goes for the antioxidants in coffee. Moderation is key.

8. Be Active in Your Downtime.

You don’t have to go on a 30-mile run, but switching that cafe date to a coffee walk-and-talk allows you to get outside and burn calories while you have your gossip session.

9. Snack with Fruit.

But of course, we all love to snack anyway (because hummus) so just nosh healthier, and there’s no better snack than nature’s dessert. Grapes, bananas and strawberries are perfect replacements for those tasty-looking Doritos.

10. Or Grab Your Nuts Instead.

Masturbation is great (and a wonderful form of cardio), but I’m talking about the food kind. Nuts are a great form of protein and a great substitute for snacks that are high in fat. It helps get rid of that bad cholesterol your doctor is always warning you about.

11. Stop Smoking.

You won’t gain weight. I quit six months ago, and I’ve never been healthier in my life. It helped me stay active, when I wasn’t constantly gasping for breath, and promote a healthier mentality. When you’re smoking, it’s not just the cigarettes that are killing you. It’s you.

12. Take Work Breaks.

In addition to being mind-numbing, sitting at a desk for hours on end has been shown to have a negative effect on overall health, while decreasing your life span and your will to live. Thus, get up and move around. Take a piss break. Refill your water. Go talk to the co-worker you have a crush on. Just get up and do something.

13. Take Your Partner Dancing.

Guys, you know how she always wants to go out? Take her. While satisfying her needs, dancing also burns an estimated 150 to 300 calories an hour, depending on if its slow dancing or a full-on twerk. Twerk for your heart, y’all.

14. Floss.

Statistics from the Mayo Clinic show that regular flossing can add up to three years onto your life, and data from past experience shows it makes you much better to make out with.

15. Eat More Earlier.

There’s a reason you should never skip breakfast: Starting out with your heavier meals early gives your body time to burn those calories off throughout the day. Get a big breakfast, a smaller lunch and a light dinner. In Spain, dinner is really just a glorified snack, so you don’t take those calories to bed with you.

16. Go for a Walk After You Eat.

While helping burn calories, it’s a great way to promote blood flow and healthy digestion. It also staves off that nasty food coma you get after eating way too much, which I almost always do.

17. Exercise Portion Control.

Americans are chronic buffeters, eating until you feel miserable. Try the French way instead. The French stop eating when you feel “80% full,” satiated but not so full you want to puke. It also saves room for dessert, which we all love.

18. Clean When You’re Angry.

You know how your Mom always washes dishes when she’s mad? There’s a reason. While promoting a clean living space (which is good for mental health), it’s a low form of cardio and a nice stress-relief, lowering blood pressure by taking your mind off nagging problems. Don’t dwell. Scrub.

19. Throw Some Cardio Into That Lifting Routine.

Building muscle mass is great for your rate of heart disease, but a workout routine with variety helps promote overall fitness and cardio vascular health. Besides, working out is more enjoyable when you get to mix it up a bit. Sign up for a Spin Class or Rumba. I don’t know what Rumba is, but it sounds fun, right?

20. Knit.

Research indicates that relaxing activities like knitting, sewing, crocheting or doing crossword puzzles, cryptograms and Sudoku is good for your heart and overall wellness by lowering your heart rate and your stress level.

21. Do It With Friends.

Having regular workout buddies isn’t just good for spotting. You’re more likely to stick to your fitness goals when you have other people holding you accountable. It’s harder to skip a day if there’s someone waiting to work out with you.

22. Incentivize Your Goals.

Last year when I started marathon training, I put ten cents into savings for every mile I ran, which I would use on a splurge. It’s not much money, but it helps you be more intentional about your goals and makes the experience of training feel more real. Also, who doesn’t love treating yourself?

23. Make the Switch from Soda.

This doesn’t mean you can’t have a Coca-Cola as a treat, but as a staple in your diet, switch to other healthier drinks that tickle your sweet tooth instead. I’m a Gatorade or Nake Juice person — all the flavor, but with some pretense to being healthy.

24. Eat Chocolate.

In addition to being delicious, dark chocolate has been shown to lower risks of heart disease, help stop blood clotting and prevent cancer. It also makes you a nicer person to be around.

25. Get Cardio in the Bedroom.

That’s right: Nookie isn’t just good for your blue balls. It’s also good for your heart, a form of both exercise and endorphins. (For why this is good: See Legally Blonde.) Studies also show it lowers your risk of heart disease and helps you keep a healthies blood pressure.

26. Go for a Protein Smoothie Instead of Ice Cream.

Everyone loves desserts and you’ll never hear me shame Ben and Jerry’s, but a great alternative is to sneak something healthy into that sweet treat. Just because it’s tasty doesn’t mean it can’t also be secretly good for you.

27. Love Your Body, Because It’s Yours.

Working out doesn’t have to be body negative. Real exercise is also fitness of the mind — about choosing to be happier and healthier. It’s easier to do than when you look at exercise as self-care instead of self-flagellating. Don’t treat it like punishment. Just make the intention to start finally treating yourself right. There’s no better love than the kind we give ourselves.