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Hola, que me han robau, mejor dicho, que me han sisau, 5€, en billete y tras follar, tracatrá. Os cuento:

Resulta que me tiro a un tío, nada como para contar por aquí un polvo mondo y lirondo, SALVO que al día siguiente cuando me levanto para ir a currar, veo que había desaparecido un billete de 5€, que ya hay que ser cutre, que tenía preparado en el aparador del recibidor para pagar a la chica que me saca al perro, un beso E, total que tras buscarlo en plan Cenicienta encocada pues no dejé un rincón, cojín, ranurita, mueble por abajo, sin mirar, remirar y volver a mirar PORQUE NO PODÍAQUERÍA CREER QUE ME HUBIESE SISAU solté un “qué hijo puta” y acepté que sí, que existe gente tan falta de estilo como para robar cinco míseros euros.

Me puso tan de mala hostia, joder es que es muy fuerte, que tuve que quedar con estas tras currar (oh, vaya qué disgusto ;) ) y TACHÁN!! MAGIA!! fue oírme contarlo y empezarme a parecer graciosísisimo, no hay mal que tres birras dure.

En esas estábamos riéndonos aka “tía si me río más se me sale el tampax” cuando BOOM!! EL CUTRE!!! estaba ahí, de pie, hablando. Voy a ser más cutre yo que él y pedirle mis 5€ o ignorarle con elegancia y charme exquisito???????? cutre, cutre, jaleó mi cabeza al tiempo que me levantaba y me dirigía hacia él siendo una mezcla de flamenca del whats y aragonesa Peter Pan (Diosito sabes que nunca te pido nada pero haz que exista ese icono a la de ya) me puse enfrente suya y le solté: “maldigo el día en que te conocí” y me fui. Te cagas, maldita seriepeli, la odio.

Moraleja: Titis, más feo que pedir está robar o ir a echar cuentas yendo medio tupi, tierra, trágatelo!! ay. ^^

 Hay veces que la gente toma decisiones porque no le queda más remedio. De modo que frente al resto de decisiones inadvertidas que crean los multiversos -como sabe todo el mundo-  se crean pequeños nudos de realidad que parecen centrar decisiones que crearán graves alteraciones. Decisiones meditadas y que uno puede compartir más o menos pero conviene que respete siempre. 

No es fácil la decisión de seguir con algo que no quieres, no sabes lo que va a durar, no sabes en qué condiciones será, sólo sabes que tendrás muchas discusiones por delante y que incluso las que ya tenías seguirán.

No es fácil irse y dejar tirados no solo al resto de al comunidad sino a tus propios compañeros, sobre todo cuando no sabes a dónde ir y todo lo que tienes en la cabeza es la música de la gente cantando la canción de los hombres furiosos.

Por eso cuando alguien nos dice que quieres irse de ADLO! le atamos a una silla y seguimos posteando en su nombre hasta que su familia o amigos se preocupan por él. -Lo que explica la larga estancia posteadora de Emilio, jijijiji-, algo que se aplica a todos, Javi Riva nunca nos ha abanadonado, es que no tiene muy claro cuál es el siguiente día temporalmente que le toca postear. 

Pero no me refería a nosotros. No solo porque estemos con un décimo aniversario vamos a tratar de que todo tenga que ver sobre nosotros mientras pasan cosas fueras que tratan de quitarnos de enmedio de nosotros que nosotros  no nosotreamos porque nososotros nosotrimos nosotridades nosotridosas.

Os perdonamos.

Pero precisamente por eso tenemos que hablar de esa gente que nos parte el corazón cuando se marcha y nos lo detroza cuando se queda. Sí, ya sé que lo habéis entendido pero aquí estamos. Sabéis de qué voy a hablar porque, al fin y al cabo, la semana pasada no se habló de otra cosa. Pero aún así vamos con ello:


Efectivamente. Bill Watterson volvió -brevemente- para hacer unos chistes con un favorito de lo que esto escribe, Stephen Pastis. El motivo fue que le apetecía colaborar con él y que de paso se quedaba con los originales para subastarlo para la fundación Team Cul de Sac, una asociación a favor de la investigación de la investigación de Parkinson sufrida por el autor Richard Thompson del que es amigo y fan. Claro que todo eso se puede leer en piezas como esta en el Washington Post. 

Es mucho más entretenido leer la versión de Pastis y como todo sale de haber hecho esta tira:



a partir de lo cuál vemos cómo funcionan estas cosas. Gente que se va, gente que se queda, mentir para tener sexo... Lo clásico del mundillo. Ah, y si le dais a los enlaces también veréis los comments. Cualquiera diría que escriben para que la gente haga lo contrario de lo que han decidido y no para que se reafirmen en que están haciendo lo correcto, ¿verdad?

Pero qué puedo deciros... Bill está en su derecho. Si decide seguir fuera para evitarse los problemas, censuras y luchas con los periódicos su decisión no puede ser más que respetada, si cree que puede regresar y quedarse -aunque sea una semana- para tratar de cambiar las cosas... ¿quién podría decir algo en contra? Lo único que os puedo decir es...

Yo me enfrío o lo sufro. 

The other big movie that opened on June 8, 1984, was Gremlins. It was a big weekend. The weird horror/comedy for kids is 30 years old. Doesn't that make you feel ancient? In honor of the occasion, let's have some Gremlins trivia to spark your memory! A sampling:

3. CHRIS COLUMBUS DIDN’T WRITE GREMLINS WITH THE IDEA THAT IT WOULD ACTUALLY BE MADE.

He wrote it as a spec script and writing sample. It found its way into the hands of Spielberg, who explained that, “It's one of the most original things I've come across in many years, which is why I bought it.”

9. TIM BURTON WAS IN CONTENTION TO DIRECT IT.

There was a lot of buzz surrounding Burton after the success of his short film, Frankenweenie—so much so that Spielberg considered him to direct Gremlins. But the fact that Burton had yet to direct a feature film worked against him, and the gig was given to Joe Dante. A year later, Burton released his first theatrical feature, Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure.

You can say hindsight is 20/20 about many of the 21 Things You Might Not Know About Gremlins at mental_floss.

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Centenares de personas hicieron frente a la lluvia y participaron en la primera edición de un festejo que, durante dos días, transportó al barrio al medioevo

Photos by Matthew Leifheit. Sugar Cum, 2014

One time after I came on a guy’s face, he told me my jizz “tasted like Earl Grey tea.” I wasn’t sure what to make of his comment. I love Earl Grey tea, and my cum could taste way worse―some dicks taste like microwaved burritos―but I didn’t want to splooge bergamot orange-infused semen on my one-night stand’s face. I hate when gross precum lands on my lips, and as a Catholic, I’m a firm believer in do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

HiPleasures claims to sell the solution to my problem. The self-proclaimed “adult sexual wellness and health company” has released a pill called Sugar Cum that makes males’ “funky tasting junk” taste sweet. The pill’s ingredients include tropical fruit similar to those in Jamba Juice smoothies: proprietary blend, pineapple extract, acai extract, papaya extract, wheat grass extract, and cinnamon.

As ridiculous as a “smoothie for your peen” sounds, the product has tons of potential customers. I’m not alone in my concerns about the taste of my jizz. All across America, men worry about their seed’s flavor. “My sperm tastes bad, help?” one man asked on Yahoo! Answers. “It tastes kind of like sour apple mixed with soap.” Guys’ lady friends are concerned too. “[The worst cum I ever tasted was] probably the first guy I gave a blowjob to, at age 16, in Poland on the class trip visiting death camps,” a 24-year-old female college graduate told me. “It was the worst only because I wasn't expecting him to come in my mouth, and I wasn't used to the taste yet, so it made me feel icky.”

Many people have turned to the internet to solve this issue. “Eat pineapple” is the blogosphere’s typical response, but according to Dr. Lawrence Ross, pineapple does jackshit. He told Psychology Today, “In healthy men, the composition of seminal fluid is constant because it includes a precise mixture of components necessary to support sperm.” In other words, to change cum’s taste, guys have to alter their entire diet, which is unlikely to happen considering most dudes love A1 sauce and steak.

Could Sugar Cum solve this problem and let guys continue to eat at the Outback Steakhouse before they jizz all over their significant others’ faces? I decided to try the sexual supplement to find out.

Skadoo, 2014

To test the pill’s effectiveness and to write this as scientifically as possible, I decided to taste my sperm three days in a row. On the first day of my experiment, I would swallow my cum without the pill; on the second day, I would eat my jizz after I drank a Jamba Juice; and on the third day, I would eat my semen after I digested Sugar Cum. I remembered my sixth grade science class and that every experiment needed a control, so I tried to eat similar foods during my three-day stint: a variation of blueberry-flavored greek yogurt, oranges, grits, bacon, bourgey fruit juices, rice and beans with either lime or guacamole, and chicken tikka masala with rice. (I obviously kept drinking Earl Grey tea.)

Day One, Regular Diet:

I cranked off to a Broke Straight Boys episode on my iPad. After I orgasmed (thanks, frat bros!), I scooped my load into my hands and tossed it down my throat like a shot of vodka. At first, my sperm tasted like a lemon-flavored greek yogurt, then an overwhelming taste took over my mouth—Oprah’s new Starbucks chai tea with a splash of lemon. I hadn’t drank Oprah’s overpriced liquid gold in over 24 hours, but the beverage’s bizarre flavor―which is best described as Lohan tears dipped in warm unicorn blood―overpowered the chicken tikka masala that should have dictated my jizz’s taste. Thanks to Oprah, my cum tasted like magic.

Day Two, Jamba Juice:

Unfortunately, Jamba Juice didn’t work Oprah’s wonders. At first taste, my Orange C-Booster smoothie rendered my sperm flavorless, but a strange aftertaste reminiscent of Flintstone's vitamins and precum followed my first dose of semen.

To confirm Jamba Juice’s nasty side effects, I licked the red briefs I had came in as I listened to the Cranberries’ “Linger.” Once again, my sperm tasted like a Wilma Flinstone-shaped vitamin dipped in precum. 

Sugar Cum Yin-Yang (Circle of Life), 2014

Day Three, the Sugar Cum Pill:

The Sugar Cum directions say to take the pill an hour before sex. With sucking and rimming, I usually last 30 to 45 minutes in the bedroom; I took that into account and swallowed Sugar Cum an hour and a half before I would orgasm.

My roommate was in the kitchen directly outside my bedroom, so I masturbated lying down on the hardwood floor as far away from the door as possible. I busted a nut and licked my cum off my fingers. A flavor reminiscent of a blueberry Jamba Juice hit my tongue. I barely tasted any jizz, rice and beans, or chicken tikka masala. I was experiencing a miracle: Sugar Cum had made my jizz taste like Jamba Juice―until I realized I was choking.

You see, after I swallowed, an intense burning filled my throat. My throat felt itchy—like acid was trapped in my trachea—and then I coughed. The pill made me gag several more times and then thick saliva—or partially more cum—shot up my throat.

I lied on the floor, worrying I was having an allergic reaction to sperm like that chick from XoJane. The idea of an ER visit made me more nauseous, because I’d have to explain that I had eaten my own cum. Instead, I took a shower to calm down. Several minutes later, my sore throat started to die down.

The pill forced me to spit when I wanted to swallow. That’s fucked up, but I’m not sure what’s worse: gagging on cum that tastes like a bloomin’ onion or gagging on cum that tastes like blueberries? Oprah chai tea made my jizz both delicious and easy to digest, but I’m way too broke to drink a Starbucks tea every time I bust a nut. It seems like no matter what, cum is going to leave a bad taste in my mouth.

Mitchell Sunderland is VICE’s Associate Editor. Follow him on Twitter. 

Arquivo Municipal de Irún. Gravado da Relación da viaxe de Felipe IV á Illa dos Faisáns (1667).

Onte achegámonos ata a Rocha Branca, a fortificación principal do complexo episcopal de Iria Flavia. Hai moitas cousas fermosas nesa antiga fortaleza, hoxe case desaparecida, e a aldea de Arretén, que conserva nas súas casiñas de pedra se cadra moito do que un día se ergueu na Rocha Branca. Sempre sinto nostalxia cando visito este lugar, porque evoco as impresións que del nos contaron os vellos labregos, soldados e burgueses que evocaron o conflito irmandiño décadas despois da súa finalización. Eles falaban deste lugar como un paraíso: un acueduto que traía a auga, as hortas vizosas cheas de froitas e froitos, e o castelo, que definían como “a mellor casa do reino de Galicia”, cos seus azulexos, laranxos e xardíns.

Restos da gloria episcopal en Arretén

Pero onte tamén puiden recoller unha fermosa lenda de parte dunha muller da familia propietaria da metade da Rocha blanca. Quen visite o sitio arqueolóxico, sorprenderase en primeiro lugar do foxo que se conserva por unha das bandas, e que o irmán da señora que me contou esta historia empregou para prantar, hai varias décadas, vides de catalán. Debe ser un dos poucos foxos medievais do mundo reconvertidos en viñedo, e hoxe pódense andar polo seu fondo baixo a sombra dos emparrados. A ese foxo a familia chamáballe cunha vella e fermosa palabra petrucial: A Barronca. E a lenda familiar contaba que aló, no castro -en Arretén á Rocha Branca non se lle coñece por ese nome, marabillosamente aínda mantén a denominación previa á construción da fortaleza episcopal- vivían un Rei e unha Raíña. Na “casa vella” da familia os avós sinalaban un gravado que tiñan aló e dicíanlles aos nenos que as figuras alí representadas eran o Rei e a Raíña da Barronca.

A Barronca: o antigo foxo hoxe cuberto polo emparrado. Foto: Elixio Vieites

Pero a estampa fermosa, pouco usual no imaxinario galego, é a que vén de seguido. Considerando aquel ancho foxo coma un río, a tradición de Arretén contada pola señora imaxinaba unha barca, e nela ao Rei e a Raíña daquel lugar, paseando lenemente ao seu redor, cal un rei barroco europeo coa súa falúa, seguido da barca na que tocaban os músicos.

...y los jugadores japoneses de Japón se preparan ensayando los disparos del manga Captain Tsubasa de Yoichi Takahasi. O, en cristiano, de Oliver y Benji

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Photo courtesy of Vivid

Last week, I wrote an article about #payforyourporn, porn stars and piracy experts’ online campaign to convince people to buy porn instead of using tube sites. As I researched the story, I came across a cornerstone of the adult entertainment industry who disagrees with the porn stars—Steven Hirsch. Thirty years ago, Hirsch founded Vivid Entertainment, the porn empire that gave us the instant classics Kim K Superstar and Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom. Unlike porn star Jessica Drake—who told me, “[Tube sites are] taking money away from all different areas”—Hirsch believes production companies benefit from tube sites and need them to survive. Interested in learning more about his unconventional business strategy, I called Hirsch to talk about his partnerships with tube sites, the history of Vivid, and how porn stars can use tube sites to their advantage.

VICE: How has Vivid changed as the porn industry has changed?
Steven Hirsch: When we started our business [30 years ago], we had some different ideas of things that hadn't been used before, such as signing girls to exclusive contracts. It was right when VHS tapes were going into video stores, so video stores were starting to open up as opposed to adult bookstores. We were one of the first adult entertainment companies that really used the internet to its advantage, so we're used to always pushing the boundaries of technology.

How has Vivid’s business evolved with the evolution of technology?
Several ways. You take, for example, our celebrity sex tapes. No one else has them, and people can't knock them off, meaning they can't do another celebrity sex tape unless they have another celebrity—and they are very unique. People are willing to pay for them. We do superhero parodies that are parodies of Batman, Superman, all of them. And again, that's unique content. We have authentic swinger movies, which nobody else has. For us it's been important to find niches and content that people are willing to pay for and then use the tube sites as a way to help promote those movies.

How do they help you promote content?
It's sort of like launching a trailer for a Hollywood movie. We'll take a three-to-five minutes clip of, say, a celebrity sex tape, and we will put it on the tube sites, and in return the tube sites will help to promote the movie, and they'll send traffic back to us for people who want to see the entire movie.

Should the industry be working with the tube sites rather than fighting against them?
The industry continues to evolve, and there are two ways you can look at it: You can either complain and whine about why things aren't the way they were two years ago, or you can continue to evolve and produce content that people want to see. Most companies don't make it 30 years—certainly not in the adult industry. You have to be flexible, and you have to be willing to take chances and not be set in your ways if you want to survive for a long period of time. The tube sites are only the most recent incarnation of what is the big threat to the business. At one point it was piracy, and we saw VHS tapes being pirated and DVDs being pirated. You've got to work through that stuff.

Performers have told me that tube sites have decreased their amount of work.
I think it's interesting because I understand that as a result of the tube sites, there are fewer movies being produced, because if you're going to produce just run-of-the-mill porn that's not really different, there's no real reason for anyone to pay for it because they could get something similar for free. So there are fewer companies producing, and therefore fewer jobs for the performers.

But what I see, talking to some of the performers, is that they really use this as a way to take control of their career. The tube sites may in some ways be bad for the industry, but it's also spawned a whole new market, which is camming. The girls out there who are camming—and do it right and make it a priority—are making a bunch of money. Also, what I've found is that a lot of the girls are shooting their own content. They're shooting their own unique content, and they do content trade from other girls. They have their own website, and they make money being entrepreneurs in their own businesses.

What are some of the biggest misconceptions about the tube sites?
I think one of the [misconceptions] that people have about the tube sites is that they just steal all of this content and put it up on the sites. That is not the case. People work with the tube sites, and you can take down whatever you want. What I've certainly seen with these celebrity sex tapes is that we've been able to [take] movies down from the tube sites, and that's because we're working closely with them, and when we see [piracy], we let them know that there's something on there illegally, and they remove it immediately. The point is they’re not going anywhere. 

Follow Sophie Saint Thomas on Twitter. 

Karl Lagerfeld has a unique vision of the world, to say the least, and he has often proven himself to be a visionary and trend setter in the world of fashion since he started desiging in the 1950s.

These days he has a lot more similarly “inspired” fashion designers to contend with, and you may think he has softened a bit in his age, but this statue proves that he hasn’t lost one bit of his unique vision.

Lagerfeld commissioned chocolate artist Anya Gallaccio to create a life sized chocolate statue that looks just like his favorite model/muse Baptise Giabiconi, who is wearing nothing but his underwear and a pouty face.

This deliciously tasteless work of chocolate art was created in 2011 and shown in Paris to promote the ice cream brand Magnum, but did this statue scare people away from the brand or make them hungry for more?

-Via Beautiful/Decay

Idas e Vidas é um experimento de criaçom colectiva. Assistiremos a um espaço onde persoas doentes remexem-se com desesperança num ambiente claustrofóbico. Procuram-se e conversam, nem sempre compreendendo o que dim. Tocam-se, por vezes com desejo, por vezes com aversom. Também dançam e fugem dos seus próprios medos. Mesmo beijam e atrevem-se a falar-nos de amor e sofrimento. Podem conhecer esses sentimentos fora das suas patologias?

A ritmo de diagnoses alheias, iram revelando histórias, das idas e vidas de cada quem. Algumhas seram desacougantes, causaram-nos compaixom. Outras seram comúns, diriamos que poderiam ter-lhe acontecido a qualquer. Por vezes, incluso pensaremos que este ou aquela nem tam doente está, que semelha ir melhor, ter curado já. Lembraremos entom que nunca pode sanar quem nom enfermou.

Pincha aqui para ver o trailer de  Idas e Vidas

Ilustración extraída de Galicia Ártabra Digital

Praza do Matadoiro.

O edificio rosa do lado esquerdo é o “Centro Coordinador de Información e Documentación Xuvenil”. É un predio da Xunta que se xa era feo, logrou ter un nome acorde a el. En cousa de meses será eliminado e deixará paso ao parque de Belvís. Librarémonos dun edificio tan feo e gañaremos un acceso a un dos parques máis fermosos e descoñecidos da cidade.

Empezamos por la noticia de la semana: colaboradores históricos de El Jueves dejan la revista por ver vulnerada su independencia, entre ellos su mítico director Albert Monteys. Con él hemos hablado y nos explica su circunstancia y la del resto de compañeros que no comparten la decisión de la empresa editora de retirar la portada elegida por ellos dedicada a la abdicación del rey Juan Carlos I. Además hablamos con Octavio Botana, responsable de la iniciativa Primavera Graphic, con Roberto Bartual sobre su crowfunding para "Narraciones gráficas" y repasamos novedades con Jesús Marugán y portadas ilustradas con Jota Lynnot.

 

 

Carreira de burros pola festa de San Paio na Estrada (1962)

Concurso de cortar cepos nas festas de San Paio na Estrada (1962)

Stephan Pastis, the author of the comic strip Pearls Before Swine, is a big fan of Bill Watterson, of Calvin and Hobbes fame. Pastis put a joke about Watterson in his strip and emailed it to him, and the response he got was a surprise -the very retired and reclusive Watterson, who hadn’t published a comic in 19 years, had an idea for a collaboration between the two comic strip artists! Pastis writes about the creative process:

At every point in the process, I feared I would say something wrong. And that Bill would disappear back into the ether. And that the whole thing would seem like a wisp of my imagination.

But it wasn’t that way.

Throughout the process, Bill was funny and flexible and easy to work with.

Like at one point when I wanted to change a line of dialogue he wrote, I prefaced it by saying, “I feel like a street urchin telling Michelangelo that David’s hands are too big.” But he liked the change. And that alone was probably the greatest compliment I’ve ever received.

Watterson was the “guest artist” in three strips this past week, in the role of a second-grader who bragged she could draw better than Pastis. The change in style did not go unnoticed, but Pastis was sworn to secrecy until after all three strips ran. Now you can read the whole story at Pastis’ blog.

It also turns out that Watterson was already a fan of Pastis’ work when he was contacted. He told the Washington Post:

“Several years ago, when Stephan did one of his strips that mocked his own drawing ability and mentioned my strip in comparison, I thought it might be funny for me to ghost ‘Pearls’ sometime, just to flip it all on its head,” the goateed Watterson tells me, offering a clear indication that he still follows the funnies. “It was just a silly idea, and I didn’t know Stephan, so I never pursued it, and years went by.”

Did you happen to keep the funny pages from Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday? If not, you can see the week’s story arc beginning here.

-via Digg

Sweetness is code for feminine. It's code for not being able to handle "reality" and having to cover it up.

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El portavoz del BNG ha criticado que PP y PSOE resuelvan la situación «de tapadillo»

Feijóo tenta desligarse o máis posible do goberno do seu partido na capital de Galicia, cuxo alcalde reitera que non dimitirá e prevé presentar o luns un gabinete inzado de persoas que non se presentaron ás eleccións. "Pregúntenlle ao alcalde", di o presidente.