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26 Jul 02:50

15 Men On What Their Girlfriend Does That Turns Them On The Most

by Ari Eastman
lookcatalog
lookcatalog

1. “Whenever she laughs. She has kind of a low, Scarlett Johansson type voice and I think it’s so incredibly sexy. And when I’m the one making her laugh? Oh, biggest turn on, EVER.” — Dwayne, 27


2. “My girl usually sleeps naked, so when she gets up out of bed in the morning, it’s the hottest sight. Puts me in a great mood for the rest of the day.” — Matt, 23


3. “Her ass. I don’t know if you were looking for a deeper answer to that question, but damn. That ass.” — Sam, 25


4. “My girlfriend is a dancer and very passionate about it. I get really turned on watching her perform. She’s just so sexy and powerful. And like, not just because her body is beautiful and she clearly knows how to move it, but seeing her do what she loves is very attractive.” — Kevin, 29


5. “She makes this intense face when she’s focusing on something. I don’t even think she realizes she does it, but she just looks so serious and cute. She kind of wrinkles her forehead a bit and I don’t know, it just drives me crazy.” — Dustin, 24


6. “Don’t know what this says about me, but when my girlfriend gets pissed off about something and calls me out on it, I end up wanting her so badly. She’s super feisty and doesn’t take shit from anyone. And if you haven’t ever experienced angry sex, you are seriously missing out.” — Michael, 21


7. “My girlfriend will spontaneously sext me while I’m at work. I never expect it and each time it’s like receiving the best surprise ever. Not ashamed to say I’ve taken extra long bathroom breaks.” — Raj, 33


8. “When we go to bed, my girlfriend always puts her hand on my stomach and says, ‘Sweet dreams, honey’ and it’s so endearing. I just want to kiss her all over.” — Luke, 23


9. “The shower in our bathroom is very see through, so you can very clearly see whoever is in it. I like to watch my girlfriend shower. And jump in when I can’t take it anymore.” — Nick, 26


10. “Sometimes when we go out in public, my girlfriend will whisper to me, ‘I guess I forgot to wear underwear.’ And then I get to walk around with her feeling like we’ve got this dirty secret between us.” — Bradley, 26


11. “She constantly turns me on. How could I pick just one thing that she does?” — Marc, 24


12. “We do this thing together called Naked Wednesday. And I think the idea is pretty self-explanatory.” — Jesse, 27


13. “I have a really stressful job and work a lot of late hours. My girlfriend goes to bed pretty early, so sometimes she ends up turning in before I’m home. But she leaves notes for me around the house, things like: ‘I love you’ or ‘I hope work wasn’t too stressful. There’s pie in the fridge.’ It’s so sweet and encouraging, and it just makes me so happy to have her. It makes me want her for life.” — Tim, 28


14. “Morning head.” — Zackary, 24


15. “She does this thing where when she’s relaxed and at home, she massages her boobs. She definitely isn’t aware she does it, but I find it so hot.” — Will, 27 TC mark

21 Jul 14:19

Preacher: A Comic Fan’s Perspective

by Wendy

(Warnings for Spoilers for Preacher and descriptions of graphic violence and references to racism)

I first started reading Preacher, the epic horror-western series by Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon a few years ago. And all I could think at the time was, “Damn, my fifteen-year-old self would have thought this was the most brilliant, perfect thing ever.”

Twenty-two-year-old Wendy wasn’t quite the same as fifteen-year-old Wendy. And I think once fifteen-year-old Wendy reached Book Three, she would have felt a bit embarrassed after what happens in New Orleans (Fifteen-year-old Wendy was all about Anne Rice). But ultimately, as the angsty, gothic, less-discerning, reluctant Catholic Schoolgirl, High School me would have loved every bit of this series.

Preacher has everything: graphic sex, tons of violence, dark humor, and all the sacrilege a fallen-Catholic/future Jew could ask for. It would have been perfection. Utter perfection to my High School self. Now, twenty-two-year-old Wendy was a bit more discerning than her adolescent counterpart. Current, twenty-five-year old Wendy is even more so.

So I saw several narrative problems. When I decided to re-read the series for the express purpose of writing this article, I saw yet more. The story of the comic is meandering to a distracting, disorienting degree. Huge, major chunks of the books are taken up by story arcs that ultimately contribute little to nothing to the story or the characters. The thing delves into the realm of cliche sometimes. It’s not exactly the most diverse thing on the planet. Even the one main character who isn’t a white dude (she’s a white woman), is probably the least interesting and deep of the main three characters.

That being said, Preacher, as a comic series, is a delightful slice of Hell on Wheels (sometimes literally). You won’t find darker humor anywhere, for one. But it still knows its limits and it’s genuinely funny as Hell. The storyline for the most part plays with far more tropes than it adheres to. It is a delightfully macabre, sacrilegious, fun, and sometimes touching story of a man seeking God and vengeance (they’re the same goal).

The story follows Jesse Custer, his BFF the Irish Vampire Cassidy, and Jesse’s gun-toting girlfriend, Tulip. Jesse, the Preacher of the title, is a disillusioned and reluctant clergyman who is randomly (or so it seems) imbued with the unbelievable power of Genesis, the mysterious illegitimate progeny of an angel and demon, who grants Jesse with the power to make people obey his word. Jesse discovers not only the nature of the supernatural world, but also that God Almighty essentially jumped ship and abandoned his throne and responsibilities years ago. And Jesse wants revenge on the dead-beat deity for the suffering of his creation.

PREACHER_VERT.0.0

When I heard that the series was finally getting a screen adaptation, I was excited. I was thrilled when our own Frankie asked to cover it. The fact that well-known nerd Seth Rogen was producing it, and that it was going to be aired on AMC, the series responsible for Breaking Bad? Even better.

Now, nine episodes into this series, I feel it’s now the time to offer my reader’s opinion on this show.

It’s pretty damn good. It’s got the same style of humor, passion for violence, and tone as Preacher.

But it isn’t Preacher.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there are things about this show I love. Believe it or not, I don’t judge quality entirely on faithfulness to the source material.

Despite the fact that this show isn’t really the same story Garth Ennis wrote, there are some things they got deliciously right.

cass cass2

Cassidy so far? Holy Hell, that is Cassidy. That is the Irish vampire I know and love. From his introduction to his bad habits to his look to his approach to vampirism? It’s all A+ so far. Sure, he’s not operating in the same story, but he acts exactly as I expect Cassidy would act in this situation.

The approach to violence and the style of humor is definitely intact. From the bickering angels to send ups of “redneck” culture to the way the main characters make quips as they blow the heads off people to the music stings as Cassidy struggles to kill a cow and scoop his intestines back into his body? Yes. All of it is A+.

As for changes… TULIP!

tulip-preacher

I’ll admit, I was never wild about the Tulip of the books. She was fine. But she also dipped into the cliche action-girl-love-interest stereotype way too much. She was not nearly as fleshed out as Jesse or Cassidy, and her entire role in the story was always defined by her relationship with Jesse. Do I have a problem with female characters who hold a torch for the men they’re in love with, necessarily? No. But when half their character is that and the other half is almost purely “not like other girls”, and both sides are framed as positive? Yeah, not my favorite thing.

Tulip couldn’t bring herself to kill in cold blood until she reunites with Jesse. Tulip response to Jesse abandoning her in France out of protective paternalism despite her fierce protests is to punish him in a sexy way— handcuffing him naked to a bed for a few hours only to come back and ask him to hold her. Her interactions with her female friend serves only for her friend to say stuff along the lines of “I’d pay good money to jump your boyfriend’s bones, but you should give him another chance.” Half of her dialogue is about her devotion to Jesse, and the other half consist of her very legitimate grievances with him that she’ll instantly forgive him for.

…But it’s okay, because Jesse read a bunch of books on feminism. She often retires from the story entirely for no other reason than that she’s “tired” so that Cassidy and Jesse can drink, fight, have adventures, and express their opinions with one another. Her solo scenes with Jesse are almost always sex or date scenes in which she talks almost exclusively about Jesse, Jesse’s problems, and how much she loves him. Her solo scenes with Cassidy about her being protective of and devoted to Jesse. Her interactions with other characters are about Jesse. She’s a feminist man-hater, because so many men have done her wrongs (except for Jesse and her daddy). It’s all good, because she’s an amazing shot and kicks straw-man sexists in the balls.

Pictured: Faux-Empowerment

Pictured: Faux-Empowerment

Even her relationship with Jesse is a little melodramatic. Especially given how it turns out that until about Book Two, she doesn’t actually know much at all about him. Also, she slut-shames other women out of jealousy. Jesse and Tulip meet because she decides to “steal” him from “that skinny slut.” She was so in love with him that her entire life fell apart when Jesse disappeared. But she didn’t even know where he grew up.

Maybe this wouldn’t be such a big deal if Cassidy, the other end of the trio who is not Jesse, gets so much narrative independence in contrast. His life story is far more fleshed out and interesting, he gets to espouse far more of his own personal philosophy and opinions, he gets his own storylines that don’t involve Jesse very frequently, and his skill set and experiences often serve the narrative in ways beyond being good at killing.

With Tulip, it’s decidedly less so.

Tulip in this, though? This Tulip has her own identity. Her moments of awesome don’t just come from shooting or being sexy or kicking straw-man sexists in the balls. One of the first things we see her do is teach a ten-year-old girl how to make a bazooka. That’s not just bad ass in a violent way, but it shows she’s inventive as well.

She’s also independent of Jesse as a character. She has her own life, which has continued, since he left her. Her backstory, while not yet explored in-depth, is hinted at and already paints a far more interesting and complex picture than the Tulip of the comics. She’s unapologetic and non-judgmental about the fact that she often crashes at a “whore house”. She gets along with other women. She has genuine goals of her own. Plotlines of her own.

Pictured: True Empowerment

Pictured: True Empowerment

Even her relationship with Jesse is better. Her devotion to him makes a hell of a lot more sense. For one thing, she actually knows about his life, upbringing, and family from the beginning. And just knows a lot about his life and who he is in general. She doesn’t just want him romantically, she wants/needs his help in finishing a job. Their history together is comprised of more than jealousy over “skinny sluts” and Jesse doing awesome stuff and her admiring him and gleefully making out with him.

She’s not just along for the ride, she spends equal amounts of time in the driver’s seat.

Even when she acts idiotic and jealous towards one woman, she immediately regrets it, tries to make up for her mistake, and even strikes up a genuine friendship with the woman she yelled at. She has discussions and arguments with Jesse that don’t involve sex and dinner-dates. She displays sexual agency in a genuine way not tailored to the male gaze.

Both her individual character and her love for Jesse just seems far more better constructed and real in the show, is what I’m saying. She is more than equal parts Jesse’s girlfriend and gunslinger.

I also like the fact that she’s a WoC, too. Though the show itself is still pretty damn white, it’s already a step above the comics in that regard. THERE IS A NON-WHITE MEMBER OF THE MAIN THREE! YAY!

And even the whiteness of the show (so far) actually kind of has a reason for it that the whiteness of the comics did not. Which brings me to one of the biggest changes between the show and the books: the setting.

Preacher the show has started out as a sort-of prequel-esque-type-thing to the books. And by that I mean so far, everything has taken place in Annville, the town in which Jesse Custer is the local man of god. In the beginning of the comic, he’s already left Annville and spends the first issue recounting why he’s left to Cassidy and Tulip in a diner.

Setting aside, it’s not really a true prequel for a variety of reasons. For one thing, a lot of the plot points from the books start taking place from the very beginning of the series. The pilot episode has Genesis escaping and entering Jesse (though not blowing up the church). We already have the two angels showing up and bungling their attempts to reclaim Genesis. We already have the reunion of Jesse and Tulip and have Cassidy and Jesse meeting and becoming friends.

"W.

Now, as to the lack of diversity, like I said, Annville’s the setting. And Annville is supposed to be a backwater, redneck town where they have riots over their offensive Native American mascot being done away with. There is glorification of the Confederacy. There is some not-too-subtle racism towards their few non-white residents. As a native Virginian who has spent a fair amount of her life in the deep south, I can tell you that Annville is pretty realistic. There are parts of the Deep South  where segregation might not be on the books, but is definitely in practice. Annville is the sort of place you only stay in if a) you have to and/or b) It’s all you know.

Let me make some things clear: I’m not saying that’s the Deep South incarnate. There are DEFINITELY drastic defiance of the stereotypes present and not all that rare there. I’m close with a large Louisiana Clan that, despite being diehard Republicans for the most part, know how progress works. They are not only welcoming and accepting of things like interracial relationships, women being career oriented (my sister’s mother-in-law has been a computer engineer since the seventies, the family gatherings are rife with female lawyers, medical professionals, and soldiers), and LGBTQIA folk.

Not only are they openly accepting of these things, they and the people they associated with don’t even consider these things a big deal. It’s just the nature of “not being an asshole”. No one cares (or congratulates themselves for not caring) about what color, religion, orientation, or gender you are. (If you’re on an opposing side of the SEC conference, on the other hand…. They’re VERY southern about that).

So there are plenty of people/places in the Deep South that defy the stereotypes.

But Annville and places like that are not those communities. I certainly understand how it is in the tone of the series (comics and show) to highlight that sort of place.

Given how the show has expanded and spent time on a main character they’ve made a PoC, I’m actually willing to give this show the benefit of the doubt… as long as this improves once the plot actually leaves Annville.

“But Wendy,” you might ask at this point, “Then why are you saying this show isn’t Preacher?”

Well, I mean that in the truest sense. In more ways than one. Despite the tone, the character names, some of the plot points being the same, this simply isn’t Preacher. Not just in terms of the comic itself, but also of the character that the title refers to.

I have no idea who it is that Dominic Cooper is supposed to be playing, but it’s sure as Hell not Jesse Custer.

A lot of the drastic deviations that make this show so… not Preacher… Actually have to do with the setting and the “Prequel” (ish) nature of the show thus far. They’ve changed so much to justify Annville as a long-term setting that they’ve gone and erased the chance for all sorts of things from the comics to exist in this universe.

In the show, Jesse Custer was born and raised in Annville, the church he preaches in belonged to his Father, also a Preacher. His father was killed by some crooked real estate folks after child-age Jesse, in a fit of rage, prayed to God to kill his father. His father, before being shot, told his son to “be one of the good guys, because there are too many of the bad”.

He and Tulip, another Annville native, were best friends as kids. She comes from a notorious and troublesome family and briefly moved in with the Custers before being shipped off into the foster system (the impetus for young Jesse’s impulsive, violent prayer). As adults they spent time as career criminals before Jesse decided to return to Annville and follow in his father’s footsteps. He’s having a crisis of faith until Genesis comes along. But once it does, he becomes fanatical about converting the whole town and following “God’s plan” for him.

There are a few things that this story has in common with the comics:

  1. There is a preacher named Jesse Custer
  2. He serves in a Texas town called Annville
  3. His father died of a gunshot and told him to “be one of the good ones, because there are too many of the bad”
  4. He is disillusioned and resents many of the town’s residents
  5. He is indeed invaded by a seemingly all-powerful spirit called Genesis that makes all who hear his commands obey them
  6. He does indeed have a romantic history with a woman named Tulip that involved less-than-lawful exploits.

That sounds pretty faithful, right? Too bad every other thing is wrong.

jesse

Seriously, who the fuck is this?

Jesse of the comics has nothing but disdain for Annville, God, and God’s plan. As I said, upon recieving Genesis, his reaction is fury towards God. And determination to make God pay for everyone’s suffering. That is his goal from beginning to end. He only becomes a reverend because he’s forced to. He is not an Annville native. He was raised in Louisiana by his horrifying, fanatical, abusive grandmother. She later sends her goons after Jesse to force him to “preach the word of God” at gunpoint.

One of the first things Jesse does is tell Annville to go fuck itself. He desperately wants to be with Tulip again, has no guilt about his father’s death, has no shame about his antics during his years with Tulip, wasn’t a killer (he actually mostly supported them during those years doing a variety of odd jobs), and certainly does not feel all that committed to “saving” anyone. Ever (except for Cassidy and Tulip).

He’s all about revenge. He barely bats an eye when the entire population of Annville burns to death. As long as you’re not hurting the helpless, he doesn’t give a rat’s ass about how you live your life. His conscience visits him in the form of John Wayne’s ghost. He does NOT like confessionals or talking about feelings unless he’s telling Tulip how he can’t endanger her. He’s no Satanist, but he’s about as anti-mainstream-Christian as they come.

Who the Hell is this Schmuck?

Who the Hell is this Schmuck?

This Jesse Custer, the one from the show, is the type who, upon receiving Genesis, becomes convinced that this is God’s plan and he will defy angels to prove it. He plans on using the power of Genesis to force the town to become good Christians. When a poor soul challenges him on this, he sends that person to Hell and even tries to defend this action. He wants Tulip and her sinfulness to leave so he can be the ultimate servant of God Almighty.

In the comics, Jesse feels nothing but sympathy and affection for the character of “Arseface” (the only name he has in the comics). Arseface is the disfigured suicide survivor whom Jesse takes under his wing after Arseface puts a gun to his face.  TV!Jesse Custer mostly has disdain for “Eugene” (in this Arseface has a name and a different backstory), and sends the kids to Hell for challenging him on violating the right of Free Will.

This isn’t Preacher. Not Preacher the Comic. Not Preacher Jesse Custer.

There’s a reason Jesse is the eponymous character of the series. And I’m sorry, but there’s no way the Jesse Custer Garth Ennis wrote would EVER act the way Dominic Cooper’s character does.

The new series also simply wipes out important established backstories. One of the most important parts of the comic’s story deals with Jesse’s family, the L’Angelles. The established backstory for Jesse (and Tulip) in this show makes their inclusion impossible. This alters everything: Jesse’s motivations, connections between plotlines, set ups for the plot, establishing pieces of the story, major character traits, everything.

Preacher1

And considering how the L’Angelles are one of my favorite parts of the comics… Yeah. This is not a good change in my book.

Which is why I say, this series isn’t Preacher.

I know some might claim that the events of this season could end up setting up Jesse’s mission later on (especially as of last night). And while I can see that happening, it still wouldn’t be Preacher. Too much about Jesse as a character has been changed for it to properly follow the story and characters from the books. Jesse’s decisions, his character as it is established, guides so much of the comics in plot, theme, and tone, that turning him into someone who would ever act the way this character on the show acts kind of invalidates too much already.

It’s not that I hate the show. Actually, the show is pretty fantastic, and certainly holds up on its own.

It’s just not at all a faithful adaptation.

To any comic readers who haven’t seen it yet, my advice is: leave your feelings about the comics at the door and just absorb the awesomeness of Tulip and Cassidy instead. If you aren’t familiar with the comics and haven’t watched yet: watch it, read the comics, and try not to associate the two too much. If you’re familiar with the show and not the comics: don’t worry about it. This is an excellent program. But if you ever do decide to pick up the books (and you should), just… don’t be surprised at how different it is.

It’s a fantastic show. It’s just not Preacher.


Images courtesy of AMC and Vertigo comics

The post Preacher: A Comic Fan’s Perspective appeared first on Fandom Following.

21 Jul 14:04

The 20 Best Sterling Archer Quotes (besides "LANA!")

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21 Jul 13:59

Why You Should Be Watching Bojack Horseman

by Matthew

Next Friday, the third season of Netflix’s animated comedy Bojack Horseman will be available everywhere. Thus, I decided to write this sort of “review of the first two seasons/commentary/encouragement to start watching.” Mild spoilers ahead (a couple of general plot points & jokes).

Bojack Horseman premiered in 2014. Its universe is grounded on a reality in which humans cohabit the world along with anthropomorphic animals (kind of like Zootopia, but not really, because most animals in adult form are all the same size-ish). Characters from different species interact in casual instances and they can actually date — this was only brought up as an “issue” on the pilot episode, most likely for the audience to get accustomed to the concept given that the character who brings it up was fully aware that this is possible and happens all the time. A good part of the comedy of the show circles animal puns and things that they normally would do, like the way cats jump vertically or how birds sit atop electric wires, but with the differences it would carry given the universe they are in. For instance, the cat, who was standing up in one moment, jumps as quadruped in the other, and then goes back to standing up.

This could be your average cartoon to watch and forget about your issues in a similar fashion to most tv animations, but it’s not. It is not as innocent and light-hearted as Bob’s Burgers or as unapologetically offensive like Family Guy (although, in the instances that it is a bit offensive, it is also of aware of it). Bojack Horseman, with its 12 episodes released at the same time, has the opportunity to have season long arcs that allow some sort of development for their main characters – some more than others.

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Bojack Horseman, the character (from here on now referred to as BJ), is a fifty-ish year old horse who had a career in his adulthood as the leading man/horse of the family sitcom “Horsin’ Around”. The premise of said sitcom revolves around a horse who took in three children to raise as his own; it is very happy-ending-the-power-of-love-and-family oriented and it is also the complete reverse of the reality BJ lived/ lives in. The show was created by BJ’s friend Herb Kazzaz, who is featured in a couple of episodes as his relationship with BJ is broken and a huge part of his arc.

The main point is that BJ is a severely depressed and unhappy person/horse. He lives his life in a Charlie Sheen-esque manner, in a mansion in Hollywood (later on “Hollywoo”), drinks to the point of blackouts often, uses drugs, and sleeps around. However, his heart’s desire is really to be loved by the people in a similar way to when he was in Horsin’ Around and to be both professionally & personally fulfilled. The most prominent people/animals in his life are his manager, the pink cat Princess Carolyn, and his “friend” Todd Chavez, a virtual hobo with no job or special meaning in life, who BJ has allowed to sleep on his couch for the past five years.

One of the season one arcs is BJ’s memoir. Unable to do it himself, he finally says yes to hiring a ghostwriter: Diane Ngyuen.

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Things start slow in that front because BJ wants the book to paint a perfect, heroic, and completely untrue picture of him. However, as his relationship with Diane progresses, she is able to capture the gritty and sad reality that BJ tried to hide – the man with both Daddy and Mommy Issues given his terrible, mistreated, and abused childhood, his relationship with Herb, his years on Horsin’ Around, the deep hatred of himself, desire to not be alone, and etc. Eventually, BJ develops feelings for Diane which is complicated by the fact that she is dating Mr. Peanutbutter (PB). a perky, glass half full kind of dog who starred in a sitcom about a dog that adopted some kids and raised them. It was an unabashed copy of Horsin’ Around. BJ has a frenemy relationship with PB because, unlike BJ, he truly is secure with himself, confident and most of all, happy. BJ is deeply envious of those qualities. He yearns to be a good person “deep down”. He is eager for confidence and self-acceptance, but he never reaches that point because he always ends up fucking things up in colossal ways.

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Naomi Watts as herself, ladies and gentleman.

His path on season one ends with (SPOILERS) him trying to be forgiven by Herb, who is dying from cancer. However, BJ is never given forgiveness. As Herb says, “you have to live with the shitty thing you did for the rest of your life”. This really shows the soul of the cartoon: despite the funny puns, running gags, and very unusual world building, it doesn’t shy away from true heartbreak. Herb and BJ were true friends in the 80s when Herb helped BJ with stand-up comedy and then, when he developed Horsin’Around, he helped BJ get the role that would jump-start his career. However, down the road, when the network was threatening to fire Herb because of his sexual orientation, BJ didn’t stand with him (not out of homophobia, I feel I need to add) and that still haunts both of them.

hollywoo-ottoman

The book is published and BJ sees this picture that Diane painted of him: depressed, a screw up, but still as relatable ™ as one can get. He gets pissed, because he wanted people to love the image he wanted to have of him, but not the one he had. “One Trick Pony” ended up being a success, but BJ is still unhappy. He always is. He always thinks he knows what would make him happy, but when that thing happens, he still is very much unchanged. He is cast as his hero role, but that still doesn’t make him happy. What would? Is he destined to be depressed his whole life? Is BJ going to die alone?

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On Season 2 of the show, we get to see BJ as he is shooting his new film in an outstanding sequence of episodes. I say this again: this is an animated show that doesn’t shy away from their characters’ weaknesses even when they try to hide them. On an episode where they need to break in a museum to shoot a scene, we get to see BJ cry and it’s impossible to not feel for the guy. That does raise the question, why am I feeling so sorry for a horse crying? Good TV, that’s why. It wasn’t meant for shock value, but to aid to the representation of how fucked BJ is.

Perhaps the best word to describe a tv show like Bojack Horseman is “bittersweet”. It’s definitely not like “Horsin’ Around” (or even our world’s usual sitcoms) where, like mentioned on the series, you get closure and a good feeling in your heart by the end of thirty minutes, especially because of whole season being released at once resulting in multi-episode arcs.

Despite all the sadness around the characters, it also revels in puns so stupid you can fall off your chair laughing. The show uses every opportunity it gets to throw in some cheap animal humor (“we need to talk about the elephant in the room”, “Quentin Tarantulino”, a whole monologue involving Beyoncé with a shoehorning of several of her song titles, Naomi Watts being so tired of being pigeonholed in these complex three dimensional female characters that she accepts to be a “2D romcom woman”, purposeful & non-subtle ways to establish the time period…) in order to soften its tone, and it works wonders. Bojack Horseman is a show with a incredible amount of heart and that benefits incredibly from multiple viewings as it really holds under scrutiny.

The technicals: the animation of Bojack Horseman is solid and very detail oriented. There are a number of inside jokes/gags/puns in written format – pay attention to brand names, t-shirts, banners, documents, tv screens (especially the journalistic ones). They really go full out and try to make everything look good in the universe they’re in (you can image a human size maggot who owns a funeral house wearing a suit).

The tone: while this is an animated show, it also is developed by Netflix, which means there is liberty to go dark and edgy. You can expect cuss words, allusions of sex, adult language, and all that stuff. Think Archer, but a little more liberated on some restraints. Also worth mentioning again that this show makes you feel things – occasional sadness is unavoidable. There is drug and alcohol abuse and a little bit of violence (nothing too gory in my opinion). I’m not going to say that this is a non-offensive tv show, but I definitely feel like they aren’t TOO offensive, or merely reveling in their ability to “go there” (though I remember the word “fat” being used in a negative manner, the c-word being thrown around once or twice, and probably “bitch” too).

The Cast and Characters: there are a LOT of big names in the main, supporting and guest cast. Will Arnett lends his voice to BJ, Amy Sedaris voices Princess Carolyn (she is amazing!), Alison Brie voices Diane Ngyuen (and several other minors), Paul F. Thompkins is Mr Peanutbutter, and Aaron Paul is Todd Chavez. Among the guests, we can name drop so many: Tatiana Maslany, Judy Greer, Margo Martindale (where she plays herself as “Character Actress Margo Martindale” – inside joke!), Naomi Watts, John Krasinski, Joel McHale, Ken Jeong, Stanley Tucci, Patton Oswalt, Kristen Schaal, Lisa Kudrow, J.K. Simmons, Olivia Wilde, Aisha Tyler, Yvette Nicole Brown, Chris Parnell, Paul McCartney, and Daniel Radcliffe just to name a few/several.

In all seriousness, give this show a chance. It may confuse you at first (I for one pretty much only understood season one after rewatching it immediately after I watched season two), but it is completely worth it for the dark & silly plots, character development, and sincere depiction of depression as something that hangs on to you even after some good things happen. Season 3 is just a few days away and it looks amazing.


All images courtesy of Netflix. 

The post Why You Should Be Watching Bojack Horseman appeared first on Fandom Following.

21 Jul 13:45

The Carol Awards — GoT Season 6

by Kylie

Welcome, Lords and Ladies, to the Second Annual Carol Awards!

This prestigious ceremony is to honor the joy and entertainment that Game of Thrones Season 6 brought us. Each Golden Carol is a symbol of peer recognition for pure, unabashed book snobbery, from 1884 voters.

We don’t like to think that there are “winners” and “losers” at the Carols. Just being nominated is an honor in and of itself. And the stiff competition in most categories is a testament to how nuanced adaptational butchery can be.

This year, the Carol Awards are being held to honor the life, and the works, of Good Queen Carol. Though she was tragically taken from us when the Evil Cheryl stole her skin, will we always remember her relatable desire to protect her children from clear danger, and we will never forget how wisely she ruled and took on the patriarchy. Also how she always had the orange slices prepared.

soccer mom Carol

However, we most also take a moment to thank Game of Thrones showrunners David Benioff and Dan Weiss. Without them, there would be no dramatic satisfaction worth celebrating (also thank you, Bryan Cogman, for that phrase). As such, we would like to award them with an honorary Golden Carol:

d&d&carol

May she nobly brighten up your mantelpiece.

But now, it’s time to get this ceremony started. Who are the winners of the most prestigious awards ceremony television has to offer? Joining us on stage to help answer that, we have some of Fandom Following’s finest contributors and experts on Benioff & Weiss’s Bold™ storytelling, who will serve as our presenters for the event.

First and foremost is Wendy, our Managing Editor and fearless leader. Throughout the season she worked tirelessly to bring us the wonderful “Game of Nonsense” posts. She also, of course, co-hosts the Fanwankers podcast, and was so thrilled to get to talk about the dramatic satisfaction she experienced during the 6th season for 10 weeks in a row.

Next is Eurydice, whose voice you may recognize when she filled in for Wendy on our “Blood of my Blood” Fanwankers episode, offering fabulous commentary on Larry’s ability to lead the Kingsguard, Arya’s spy skills, and “Benjen Coldhands.”

We’re joined also by Kate, who kept everyone in the loop all season long with her “For the (Not)Watch” recaps. We can’t tell — she keeps her cards very close to the vest — but we think she loves Benioff & Weiss’s interpretation of Sandor Clegane.

Then we’ve got Gretchen. Now you may know her as the person who lovingly dedicated her time to analyzing another show that tried to scratch at the surface of Benioff & Weiss’s greatness. What hubris…can you even imagine anything else ever coming close? However, Gretchen is no noob to Game of Thrones, having written not one, but two articles that perfectly dissect the Bold™ tone this show achieves. She also joined us on the Fanwankers episode where we couldn’t contain our hype about the Season 6 trailer.

And finally, please welcome Zach to the stage! He stayed up with us on Sunday nights for some tireless live-blogging sessions, and also made sure to discuss the wonderful empowerdness of the Greyjoy plotline, both with its fabulously executed kingsmoot and sensitive handling of trauma.

In addition to the presentations, Julia and Kylie will be offering their own sparkling commentary about each category winner. They’re quite happy the cream of the crop will be on display tonight, as it will surely move them to begin the process of writing the upcoming Season 6 retrospectives.

Don’t forget that after the show, there will be a Carol Award t-shirt, along with other Fandom Following merchandise, available for purchase. This shirt features one special winner of a Golden Carol tonight, and boy is it earned! So be sure to check out the link at the bottom of this page.

But for now, we’re going to turn the microphone over to Zach, to kick things off for us.

 

Most Emmy-Worthy Line

Category Presentation (a link to the audio introduction, available for all categories)

Nominees:

  • “Where are my niece and nephew? Let’s go murder them.” – Euron Greyjoy
  • “You really are a greedy bitch, you know that?” – Nymeria Sand
  • “Smells like pussy” – Random dude in the riverlands
  • “Happy shitting” – Tormund
  • “I choose violence.” – Carol Lannister
  • “I know you’ve had some bad years.” – Yara Greyjoy
  • “Come on. You’re the one with the magic cock.” – Bronn
  • “I think our father could learn a thing or two from your father.” – Talla Tarly to Gilly
  • “We fight with the army we have.” – Jon Snow
  • “That’s my father!” – Bran Stark, various scenes
  • “He’s my lord, my lord.” – Random Tully man-at-arms
  • “He’s really…”/“He is.” – Tommen and Margaery about the High Sparrow

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

01 - i8eHUhu

Category commentary

 

Most Meta Line

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • “I apologize for what you’re about to see” – Davos
  • “That’s what I do: I drink and I know things” – Tyrion
  • “I just want it to stop” – Loras
  • “I do what I can with what I’m given.” – Lady Crane
  • “It would all just be farting, belching, and slapping without you.” – Arya to Lady Crane
  • “That crowd was shit” – Izembaro, “The writing is no good” – Lady Crane

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

02 - SCMrf9G

Category commentary

 

Most Empowered Smirk

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • When Sansa kills Ramsay by feeding him to dogs
  • When “the Waif” thinks she killed Arya after stabbing her repeatedly
  • Talla Tarly gettin’ sassy at the table
  • Arya when she sasses that ship’s captain about her bags of gold
  • Arya murdering Walder Frey
  • Cheryl when she blows up the entire government

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

03 - os67svJ

Category commentary

 

Most Empowering Act of Violence

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Ellaria & the Snakes murder their family
  • Dany lights an entire culture on fire
  • Sansa murders Ramsay in a dark basement
  • The Asshole murders Lady Crane
  • Arya murders the Asshole
  • Arya murders Walder Frey
  • Carol chooses violence/Cheryl burns KL down
  • Lady Crane mutilates her rival

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

04 - Aj9LVNJ

Category commentary

 

Most Empowering Non-Violent Moment

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Margaery doodles a rose
  • Dany gives a rousing speech to the people already following her
  • Sansa tells off Littlefinger for bringing her an army
  • Olenna sasses and belittles the Sand Fakes (“Barbara” looks like a boy!)
  • The Lady Crane school of medicine (with really bad soup)
  • Theon arguing Yara’s case for her at the Salt Moot.
  • Lyanna Mormont declaring Jon King in the North.
  • Assertive Gilly sassing Randyll Tarly
  • Mama Tarly sassing Randyll Tarly and him being fine with it

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

05 - IuBpfJw

Category commentary

 

Best Sansa Personality

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Fansa (would sometimes find the strength to keep on keepin’ on, but not across rivers)
  • Brittany (boss ass bitch)
  • Sandra (boss ass bitch who stands in the background and can’t convince anyone of anything)
  • Asnas Krats (hardened woman who likens herself to Ramsay—popped back in at the end)

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

06 - 4U08QII

Category commentary

 

Best Nod of Male Approval

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Theon to Sansa to accept Brienne’s help
  • Theon to Yara to accept Dany’s help
  • Tyrion to Dany to accept Yara’s help

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

08 - EntmbOf

Category commentary

 

The “D&D Are the Best Allies” Award for Most Progressive Narrative

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Ellaria doesn’t approve of Doran’s bi-erasure
  • Lesbian!Yara
  • Yara and Dany agree to team up to kill those awful menz
  • “Weak men will never rule Dorne again”
  • Sansa screaming at Littlefinger for his plan being stupid
  • The women of Horn Hill banding together to put Randyll in his place
  • Lyanna Mormont’s entire existence
  • Carol being sent to the gallery because Kevan is such an unreasonable misogynist
  • Dany burning down the Dothraki with their rape-threats
  • Grey Worm and Missandei screaming at Tyrion for his views on the slavers (only to agree with his plans)
  • The Faith Militant still being really, really, really homophobic and that’s bad

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

1QhOlGY

Category commentary

 

The “Where am I?” Award

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • “Vaes Dothrak” where menfolk decides over the Dosh Khaleen, white dudes are attacked on sight and bludgeoning to death doesn’t count as shedding blood
  • “Horn Hill” where the womenfolk can sass-talk Randyll Tarly and get away with it
  • “Dorne” where bastard-born kinslayers can take over in no time
  • “The North” where everyone seems kinda forgetful
  • “Braavos” where Faceless Men dueling in broad daylight is nothing unusual
  • “Meereen” where the Sons of the Harpy only exist when Dany is around

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

10 - RVnKbvy

Category commentary

 

Best Northern Lord Memory

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Lord Cerwyn
  • Lord Umber
  • Lord Karstark
  • Lord Manderly
  • Lord Glover

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

11 - IrlPzXq

Category commentary

 

Finest Fanservice

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • “Benjen Coldhands”
  • The Hound’s triumphant return
  • Lyanna shaming the Northern Lords
  • Frey Pies
  • Euron’s introduction and becoming King of the Iron Islands with dick jokes
  • “Salt Throne”
  • Brienne and Jaime reunion at Riverrun
  • Tower of Joy Flashback coming five seasons too late
  • Dawn (…and Dusk?)
  • Olenna sassing the Sand Snakes

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

12 - 7qrnxGD

Category commentary

 

Most Anachronistic Outfit

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • The Ren Fair comes to Horn Hill
  • Marg’s polygamist sex commune dress (plus crown!)
  • Cheryl’s Outfit of Supreme Evil

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

13 - CGRZ9CT

Category commentary

 

Most Anachronistic Moment

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • High Sparrow’s politics, sometimes.
  • Brother Ray, neither understanding, nor caring to understand the religion he preached.
  • Gilly’s appreciation of homophones & homographs.
  • Lady Tarly’s consequence free resistance to Randyl Tarly.
  • A feudal society that no longer cares about the legitimacy of its rulers.
  • A feudal society that no longer cares about the murder of family members
  • Jon’s existential angst.
  • “I wonder what Khaleesi tastes like,” says the Khal

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

14 - UC1rHoR

Category commentary

 

Most Decorative Lampshade

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • “I should have told you about [Littlefinger], about the Knights of the Vale. I’m sorry.” -Sansa to Jon
  • “I don’t care if he’s a bastard.” -Lyanna Mormont about Jon becoming king
  • “I did not fight beside you on the field and I will regret that until my dying day” -Northern Lord to Jon
  • “Fuck kneeling and fuck oaths.”
  • “It’s time for new blood in the North” -Karstark backing Ramsay over Roose
  • “I never broke an order” -Thorne about killing Jon
  • Lyanna Mormont pointing out that Sansa is a Bolton
  • Meli-sans-bra’s morose expression as she pops out her boobs again
  • Schroedinger’s Balon pointing out he won the War of the Five Kings
  • “I don’t want to be forgiven. I can never make amends to your family for the things I’ve done.” -Theon on why he’s going to the Iron Islands

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

15 - 5TbscwZ

Category commentary

 

Best off-screen fight

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • The Tully army taking Riverrun
  • The Vale army taking Moat Cailin
  • Brynden Tully’s heroic last stand
  • The Asshole’s death

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

16 - DqxjIyp

Category commentary

 

Most Creative Use of Teleportation

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • The Vale Army
  • The Night’s King
  • The Sand Fakes onto the boat
  • Brienne going around the Twins
  • Arya to the Riverlands
  • The Ironborn’s 100 ships to Volantis and Meereen
  • Theon from Winterfell to the Iron Islands
  • Varys from Meereen to Dorne, and Back Again
  • Littlefinger from the Vale to Mole’s Town
  • Sansa, Cardboard, and Davos’s Northern Walking Tour

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

17 - 9MQzCNr

Category commentary

 

Most Creative Use of Telepathy

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Olenna knows her family is dead in KL when she shows up in Dorne
  • Littlefinger knowing Sansa would be at Castle Black (and alive for that matter)
  • Davos intuiting that Mel could raise the dead.
  • Davos knowing who the Night’s King is
  • Brienne knowing not to mention Sandor by name to Sansa.
  • Brienne knowing that Sansa escaped Winterfell
  • Smalljon and Ramsay anticipating that Jon might lead an army of Wildlings to attack Winterfell and writing the pink letter to make sure he really does
  • Marg’s spidey-sense in that the Sept is going to blow up

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

19 - l1Zh04f

Category commentary

 

Best “I have amnesia” Moment

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Davos never asking Mel about Shireen and Stannis.
  • Roose forgetting everything he knows about Ramsay.
  • Faullaria and the Sand Fakes forgetting who they’re meant to be getting revenge on.
  • Brienne strutting around with Oathkeeper.
  • Cheryl totally forgetting to deal with Ellaria
  • Dany forgetting that Varys wanted to poison her in the past
  • Everyone forgetting about Rickon the episode after he was killed

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

19 - l1Zh04f

Category commentary

 

Most EvHUL Ramsay Moment

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Ramsay feeds his girlfriend’s corpse to dogs
  • Ramsay kills his dad
  • Ramsay kills his step-mom and lil’ bro
  • Ramsay writes Jon a rude letter
  • Ramsay makes rape jokes with Lord Karstark when Lord Umber mentions a gift
  • Ramsay shanks Osha
  • Ramsay makes rape jokes at the parlay and calls Jon a “bastard” a lot
  • Ramsay turns Rickon into a pin cushion
  • Ramsay kills Wun Wun
  • Ramsay says unkind things to Sansa while she kills him

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

20 - IAFqDDt

Category commentary

 

Best Larrol Moment

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • When Larry tells Carol to “fuck prophecies and fate” because they’re the only two people who matter
  • When Larry defends Carol to the High Sparrow without knowing her crimes
  • When Larrol crash the Small Council and everyone leaves
  • When Larrol crash the Small Council again and jointly persuade the Tyrells to go to war
  • When Carol comforts Larry about getting sent off to Riverrun and they have sloppy kisses
  • When Larry tells Edmure he will murder his baby…out of his love for Carol

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

21 - larrol

Category commentary

 

Most Relatable Carol Moment

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Carol isn’t allowed to go to her daughter’s funeral 🙁
  • Carol isn’t allowed to participate at the small council 🙁
  • Olenna calls Carol the most vile person she’s ever met 🙁
  • Carol’s long-term boyfriend gets sent away 🙁
  • Carol gets sent to the gallery by Kevan because she’s a woman 🙁
  • Carol’s threatened to be dragged out of her house by bullies 🙁

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

22 - CNj9cXE

Category commentary

 

Most Moving High Sparrow Speech

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • The one where he fishes for *something* for Marg to confess
  • The one where tells Larry about the eyeball stones
  • The ‘Happy Mother’s Day’ monologue for Tommen
  • “I had fun once – it was terrible”
  • The one where he teases a walk of shame for Marg that he knew wasn’t going to happen

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

23 - GSb9K7x

Category commentary

 

Most Deadpanny Dany Moment

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • When she rattles off her titles to the Dothraki
  • When she burns the Khals
  • When she returns to find Meereen under siege
  • When she engages in aggressive negotiations with the slavers
  • When she dumps Daario

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

24 - kHknB0d

Category commentary

 

The Saint Tyrion Ultimate Fan Award

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Varys
  • Kinvera the Red Priestess
  • Missandei
  • Dany
  • Viserion & Rhaegal

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

25 - BrKY4E5

Category commentary

 

Tyrion’s Most Saintly Act

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Brokering peace with unfeasible demands and sex workers
  • Giving to the poor
  • Being the “Abraham Lincoln” of his time
  • Teaching MissWorm how to drink and make merry
  • Taming the dragons
  • Teaching Deadpan about the intersection between the personal and the political
  • Convincing the red priestess to get all the priests to preach about Dany when they already were

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

26 - YkNItm2

Category commentary

 

Best Tyrion/Grey Worm/Missandei conversation

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • When Tyrion teaches them about dragons
  • When Tyrion teaches them about drinking games
  • When Tyrion teaches them about slavery
  • When Tyrion teaches them joke-telling

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

27 - lWmSZU5

Category commentary

 

The Horrific Implications Award

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Tyrion’s comedic alcoholism
  • Theon’s PTSD getting screamed away by Yara
  • Sansa’s PTSD getting aced by murdering Ramsay
  • Larry not being too fussed about his golden hand
  • Yara being a rapist for purchasing a sex slave
  • Tommen’s suicide being the result of his statutory rape by Marg and not being able to handle his abuser’s death
  • Male sexual assault is comedic (fingers up the ass scene)
  • “Weak men will never rule Dorne again” perpetuation of toxic masculinity

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

28 - PuAYElP

Category commentary

 

The “Backtrack Award” for Most Creative Retcon

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Davos not caring too much about Stannis because he’s a Jon-stan
  • Hizdahr’s deals with Yunkai and Astapor vanishing
  • Daario’s magically acquired fleet of ships burning
  • Blackfish taking over Riverrun
  • Kingsmoots always being “the law” despite Theon being referred to as “heir” before
  • Dany and Hizdahr were married

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

19 - l1Zh04f

Category commentary

 

Most Praise-worthy Kinslaying

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Faullaria killing Doran
  • Obara killing Trystane
  • Euron killing Balon
  • Ramsay killing Roose
  • Ramsay killing Walda and his lil’ bro
  • Cheryl killing Kevan
  • Middlejon Umber wanting to have killed his father himself because why the hell not
  • Larry boasting with Kinslaying to the High Septon’s face

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

04 - Aj9LVNJ

Category commentary

 

Best personality flip

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Sansa going from petrified to boss-ass after putting on lipgloss
  • Theon heading back ‘home’ to the Iron Islands after his Stark-centric redemption arc
  • Arya going from sleeping with Needle drawn to smirking her way around Braavos
  • Carol becoming Cheryl and burning the mothafucka to the ground
  • Davos being Mel’s cheerleader and then remembering to ask about Shireen

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

18 - PnjBUBu

Category commentary

 

The Serendipity Award

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Rhaegal and Viseron breaking out just as Drogon flies overhead
  • Ramsay changing his mind and staying put all season.
  • The Synchronized Murder™ of the Martell men
  • Nobody noticing Jon’s corpse in the middle of the yard when Thorne called for his midnight
  • assembly
  • Bran waiting to go back to the ToJ until the final episode so we can reveal the SHOCKING MYSTERY OF JON’S TRUE PARENTAGE (or at least the fact his mother is Lyanna) in the last episode
  • Drogon lurking around the corner of the cliffs so Dany could give a speech to close the episode

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

32 - ZiFg9EU

Category commentary

 

The “Well That Earned My Loyalty” Award

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Qyburn giving Varys’s little birds candy
  • The High Sparrow talking about mothers to Tommen
  • Dany burning down the Dothraki leaders & holy place
  • Euron talking about his dick and admitting to killing Balon
  • Lord Umber siding with Ramsay for murdering Roose
  • Jon marching into a trap to become King in the North
  • Cheryl burning down the entire government

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

33 - Pfcrj9P

Category commentary

 

The “What Was the Point of That?” Award

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Brienne’s mission to Riverrun
  • Larry’s mission to Riverrun
  • Septon Ray’s peaceful utopia mini-episode
  • Arya being blind
  • Jon being dead
  • Mel revealed as old
  • Benjen showing up

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

34 - 6FhUPb1

Category commentary

 

The “They Earned Their Paycheck” Award

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Natalia Tena (Osha)
  • Max von Sydow (The Three Eyed Raven)
  • Ian McShane (Septon Ray)
  • Art Parkinson (Rickon Stark)
  • Alexander Siddig (Prince Doran)
  • Clive Russell (Blackfish)
  • Indira Varma (Ellaria Sand)
  • Pilou Asbæk (Euron Greyjoy)
  • Tom Wlaschiha (Jaqen H’ghar)
  • James Faulkner (Randyll Tarly)
  • Isaac Hempstead Wright (Bran Stark)
  • Toby Sebastian (Trystane Martell)

(note 7/20, 9:00pm: it was brought to our attention a slightly different list was used for Kate to read than the nominees that appeared on the ballot. The list above represents the latter.)

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

35 - aCS1FdF

Category commentary

 

Best Use of a Minor Character

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Brynden Blackfish Tully getting killed offscreen.
  • The off-screen Passion of the Loras.
  • Rickon the Mute.
  • Ghost, as visible as his name.
  • Osha, Ramsay-sue offering/sacrifice #26703
  • Summer does not appear except for being thrown into wights
  • Ramsay mourning his Harley Quinn
  • Podrick being an awesome killer who can correct Sansa Stark on courtesy
  • The Waif being Arya’s antagonist
  • Jorah being sent off to find a cure for greyscale

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

36 - AHJxa5K

Category commentary

 

Best Use of a Major Character

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Wyman Manderly popping in for one scene
  • Bran the Exposition Machine
  • Sam stealing a sword and visiting a library over the course of a season
  • Doran reading a letter and getting stabbed

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

37 - 7PvTy4R

Category commentary

 

Best Prop

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Shireen’s inflammable wooden stag
  • Shaggy Dog’s tiny, but very well preserved, head
  • Ramsay’s very poorly peeled apple
  • Melisandre’s Magic Necklace
  • Cheryl’s shoulder pads
  • “Dawn” with the sun emoji on its pommel
  • Frey pies with fingers sticking out

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

38 - 3WpyAsP

Category commentary

 

Best Book Detail Misappropriation

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • “Vengeance. Justice. Fire and blood.”
  • Frey Pies
  • Tower of Joy
  • Episode 10 being titled “The Winds of Winter” (without even having The Wall or the White Walkers appear)
  • Arya using “Mercy” as her name
  • The Pink Letter

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

39 - PakJeHE

Category commentary

 

Best Character Misappropriation

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Jonny playing Arthur Dayne (the legendary swordsman)
  • Young Ned playing Jaime Lannister
  • Sansa playing Theon and Jonny Playing Stannis to re-enact Theon I (TWOW)
  • Tyrion playing Dany
  • Tyrion playing Quentyn
  • Tyrion playing Barristan Selmy
  • Sansa playing Ramsay
  • Larry playing season 1 episode 1 Jaime.
  • Qyburn playing Varys.
  • Davos playing Melisandre.
  • Yara’s sex slave playing Qarl the Maid.
  • Yara playing Victarion

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

40 - NRR0elx

Category commentary

 

Identity Theft Award

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • “The Waif”
  • “Ellaria Sand”
  • “Jaime Lannister”
  • “Sansa Stark”
  • “Yara [Asha] Greyjoy”
  • “Arya Stark”
  • “Tyrion”
  • “Brienne”

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

41 - AulwqDY

Category commentary

 

Best Scene Featuring an Original Character

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Septon Ray and the Shire
  • The “Fingers up the ass” scene
  • Lady Crane’s revengeful monologue
  • Olly’s swinging corpse
  • Random cock guy from last season getting GPS tracked by FrankenGregor
  • “Khal, what is best in life” / Dothraki inquisition skit

And the Golden Carol goes to…

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42 - n0bIS81

Category commentary

 

Most Sensitive Child-Death

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Olly
  • Rickon
  • Tommen
  • Baby Bolton

And the Golden Carol goes to…

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43 - 8uslxhU

Category commentary

 

Most Stylish Plot Armor

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Jon in “Battle of the Bastards”
  • Brienne popping into an active siege and leaving without being spotted.
  • Arya’s gutsy parkour.
  • Dany’s asbestos skin.
  • Sansa riding off alone through the North to meet the Vale troops.
  • Saint Tyrion releasing the dragons.
  • Penniless Theon getting from the middle of hostile territory all the way back to the Iron Islands alone.
  • Dothraki suddenly needing the permission of their Khal to rape a captured Dany
  • The Khal totally buying that Dany is a Khaleesi despite having no proof whatsoever

And the Golden Carol goes to…

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44 - Ld2fwuW

Category commentary

 

Most Justified Plot Kryptonite

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Hotah dropping like a sack of potatoes to a single stab wound.
  • Lancel incapacitated by a small child.
  • The Khals inability to think or act as soon as a fire starts.
  • Summer committing suicide by jumping at the wights instead of going with Bran to defend him.
  • The Sons of the Harpy suddenly being an army that can be defeated

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

45 - 7tEjPlx

Category commentary

 

The “Devil is in the Details” Award

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • The Sword of the Morning’s TWO swords
  • “Wyllis” as Hodor’s real name
  • No winter roses for Lyanna
  • The indefensible Moat Cailin
  • Jon’s selective memory for traitors.
  • Jon executing the traitors as Lord Commander before deciding that death ended his Watch
  • Wildlings and Vale Lords shouting “The King in the North!”
  • Stannis’s former camp being a short walk away from Winterhell
  • The flexible sword of Jon
  • Everyone knows that that tall Kingsguard is a zombie Gregor Clegane, and no one cares

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

46 - kQtIEha

Category commentary

 

Best Use of Resources

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Horn Hill
  • Riverrun
  • Volantis (or wherever Theon and Yara were between Iron Islands and Meereen)
  • Oldtown
  • Dany giving the completely useless speech from Drogon’s back
  • Spider Wights

And the Golden Carol goes to…

Click for the winner

47 - MY0XgAJ

Category commentary

 

Biggest Shock™

Category Presentation

Nominees:

  • Mel’s tits are OLD
  • Rickon’s death...
21 Jul 02:41

Nos deja el compositor y cantante, Gary S. Paxton de los Skip & Flip

by Magic Pop
Gary S. Paxton
Larry Wayne Stevens, más conocido como Gary S. Paxton, nació en Coffeyville, Kansas el 18 de mayo de 1939 y falleció el 16 de julio de 2016. Cantante, compositor, productor y propietario del sello discográfico Garpax, entre otros proyectos, tuvo una carrera en solitario en la que cantó country, pop, y góspel. Formó parte del dúo Skip & Flip,  creado en la Universidad de Arizona a finales de los cincuenta, en el que Skip era Clyde Battin, conocido también por su trayectoria en solitario o por haber formado parte de los Byrds y los Flying Burrito Brothers.  


Cuando tenía 14 años, Gary ya había montado un grupo de rock and roll. Se hicieron llamar  the Rockabillies, después grabaron para Rev Records como the Pledges y acto seguido pasaron a denominarse Gary & Clyde ya como dúo.  Time Records recuperó el master del single de Rev Records "Why Not Confess"/"Johnny Risk", y trasladó el dúo a Brent Records con el nombre de Skip and Flip.  Su grabación del tema de  Paxton "It Was I" llegó al Top 20 de 1959. Le siguieron otros éxitos considerables con canciones como "Fancy Nancy" y la versión del tema de Marvin And Johnny, “Cherry Pie".


Paxton grabó para varios sellos utilizando bandas como The Hollywood Argyles, y llegó a lo alto de las listas de los sesenta con canciones como "Alley-Oop". También tuvo éxitos como productor con canciones como "Monster Mash", de Bobby "Boris" Pickett, editada por su sello Garpax records, creado en 1962 en Hollywood y establecido en Nashville.


Creó  el sello Bakersfield International a mediados de los sesenta grabando en su Flexible Flyer bus, donde instaló un estudio. Pasaron bandas como los Gosdin Brothers, Dennis Payne, y The Reasons (también conocidos como Nashville West). Paxton vendió las sesiones a otras etiquetas para poder costearse proyectos que le apetecían más.  Formó pareja artística con Thomas Wayne y al suicidarse éste, entró en un espiral de destrucción.


Gary S. Paxton 
Se trasladó Nashville a principios de los setenta donde grabó varios discos de country a su nombre y después se interesó por el gospel. Pasó por una clínica de desintoxicación y siguió su carrera escribiendo temas para Don Gibson “Woman (Sensuous Woman)”, entre otros.  Sacó varios discos de góspel entre 1975 y 1979, y en 1980 fue agredido por dos pistoleros que intentaros matarle al parecer enviados por un cantante quien quería zanjar un contrato con Paxton. Mientras estuvo hospitalizado su socio malversó 500 mil dólares, y la arruinó con lo que vivió gran parte del resto de su vida en la pobreza. En 1990 desarrolló una Hepatitis C que casi acaba con su vida. Ya en 1999 se instaló en Branson (Misuri), donde siguió grabando góspel y entró a formar parte del Gospel Music Hall of Fame.



Por su parte, Battin grabó para los sellos Indigo, May, Groove,  Audicon y Signpost.  Formó parte de los Evergreen Blueshoes, los Byrds, New Riders of the Purple Sage, y los Flying Burrito Brothers. 


Documentos sonoros: 

Skip & Flip y su éxito con "It was I". 


Hollywood Argyles y su "Alley Oop" 


Gary S. Paxton y a su "He was there all the time". 


21 Jul 02:13

Miley Cyrus topless with a heavy sunburn

by tiki god

Miley Cyrus topless with a heavy sunburn 720x540 Miley Cyrus topless with a heavy sunburn

Miley Cyrus topless with a heavy sunburn originally appeared on MyConfinedSpace NSFW on July 19, 2016.

21 Jul 02:11

thin girl: all i do is eat pizza and smoke weed and play video games

thin girl: all i do is eat pizza and smoke weed and play video games
everyone: god... she is The Dream Girl... so cute and Unique... shes not like the other girls who only eat salads, shes Real
fat girl: i like pizza too
everyone: wow... consider being healthy maybe? disgusting
21 Jul 01:52

Male Feminists Who Are Hot, Thank God

by Courtney Paige Barnett

When you’re looking for the best male feminists, you’re not just looking for good minds, you’re also on the hunt for sexy bodies. These sweet celebrities opened their sexy face holes to drop some wokeness on the rights of women and didn’t sacrifice any of their babe-ness in the pro-cess. Here are male feminists who believe in your rights to your body, but also look like they’ll do your body right. Damn!

 

Ryan Gosling

We need all men to be feminists, but it’s particularly dope when the hot ones decide to join the cause. I’ll grip your manhood like my life depends on it, RyRy. Thank God you’re on this list.

 

Matt McGorry

Matt McGorry is on the front lines of feminism—and the front lines of my “Celebs I’d Like to Fuck” list. It’d kind of be a bummer if he wasn’t cute, but just look at him! Call me whenever you need a lady to help create society with, Mattycakes!

 

Joseph Gordon Levitt

This is a greation definition, and speaking of definitions, I’m defining Joseph Gordon Levitt as a MFILTF: male feminist I’d like to fuck, Yeah, baby! It’s much easier to listen to people’s opinions when they have a gorgeous face, so it’s good that this one’s a real looker.

 

 

John Legend

Talk about a legend. At first when I read this quote, I was like, uh-oh, was the person who said this ugly? But then I saw it was John Legend, who is literally a dynamite dreamboat. Teach me your ways, Johnny boy!

 

Alan Alda

This hot-ass bae has been woke since the 70s. And he’s still cute enough that I’m willing to lis-ten to what he has to say.Vintage!

 

There you have it! The hottest male feminists in Hollywood! Thanksfor making dudes feel slight-ly less uncomfortable with the word feminism, ya hunks! It’s much more exciting to listen to you guys since you’re such dreamboats. Yay equality!

21 Jul 00:49

[Todos a una] El ritmo del celuloide

by Canino

Y no, no nos referimos al ritmo del montaje o, ya que estamos, al ritmo del garaje (del productor). Nos referimos a películas que llevan música dentro. Lo que no implica necesariamente que sean musicales, sino que pueden tener detalles líricos, temáticas sinfónicas, inspiración musical. Hemos seleccionado lo mejor del cine con armonías entre planos y contraplanos.

La música -incluso antes de la llegada del cine sonoro- es indisociable al cine. No solo por sus bandas sonoras, a veces tan icónicas como sus grandes éxitos, sino también como inspiración temática: películas sobre compositores, sobre estrellas del pop, sobre músicos frustrados y sobre hitos del rocanrol ha habido siempre, y no necesariamente en formato musical. Subimos al escenario, en una selección tan heterodoxa como de costumbre, a aquellas películas que han hablado (y sonado) de música.

El novio (Ken Russell, 1971)

Se ha reivindicado poco a realizadores provenientes de la televisión británica como Richard Lester o Ken Russell. Fueron ellos los primeros en utilizar novedades como el zoom o los cambios de óptica para crear ardides visuales de gran calado. Estos fueron fundamentales en el cine de los setenta y los ochenta, en películas de todo tipo, desde los thriller efectistas de Brian de Palma a esa oda hortera a Las Vegas que es la infravalorada Corazonada (1981).

Russell, tan excesivo como polémico, dirigió este tierno y tonto musical a inicios de los setenta que resultó relativamente inadvertido en el mercado americano ¿Demasiado británico? ¿Convencional? ¿Convencional Russell? De ningún modo: El novio es un prodigio técnico donde los juegos visuales, de óptica, enlazan escenas imposibles con total naturalidad. El imaginario pop, tan difícil de integrar en el musical, aquí resulta totalmente natural, y más acompañado de un casting de secundarios británicos excelente (Murray Melvin, Bryan Pringle, etc.). Pone la guinda un notable score musical de Peter Maxwell Davies, que acompaña la historieta original sobre una corista inexperta con las colosales escenas oníricas, donde llegan a bailar encima de discos de vinilo o un biplano (¡!). Cabe preguntarse cómo esta joya, absolutamente espectacular en pantalla grande, pasó desapercibida. Sobre todo porque su profesionalidad, su tono camp, merecieron mayor éxito. Pero, ¿quién quería soñar en una época como los setenta? Julio Tovar

A propósito de Llewyn Davis (Joel y Ethan Coen, 2013)

La última obra maestra de los Coen cerraba una trilogía perfecta de humor, vaqueros y mala hostia con este retrato de la escena folk de Greenwich a principios de los sesenta. Oscar Isaac se convertía en una estrella de la interpretación y, sobre todo, de la canción en una odisea circular al borde del abismo personal con gatito de por medio. ¿Cómo no va a ser una obra maestra?

El mérito de la película, además de contar con una banda sonora monumental donde T Bone Burnett hila fino con las colaboraciones y los temas originales, es la empatía del espectador hacia un personaje tan detestable, miserable y chungo como el que da título a la peli, un soñador con talento que no encuentra su lugar en la escena tras la trágica desaparición de su compañero de aventuras. Como todo buen tratamiento en los Coen, habrá un viaje físico y emocional hacia Chicago y hacia el infierno, para terminar dejándolo todo en su posición original.

Conmovedora, maligna y con una ambientación de lujo, A propósito de Llewyn Davis es una de las pelis más importantes de la filmografía de una pareja esencial. A ver si los Coen se centran otra vez y olvidan las comedias huecas en las que a veces se sienten tan cómodos, ya que ¡Ave, César! ha roto una racha inmaculada que podría volver a coger velocidad con la prometedora Suburbicon que empiezan a rodar ahora mismo. Kiko Vega

Control (Anton Corbijn, 2007)

La opresiva historia que encierra el triste relato del difunto líder de Joy Division no da para un taquillazo. No se caracteriza por lo alegre del escenario, el lado más sombrío y obrero de Manchester. O por lo divertido de los protagonistas, unos Bernard Sumner, Peter Hook, Stephen Morris y Deborah Curtis que no pasaban por ser precisamente el alma de fiesta alguna. Todo eso era algo que Anton Corbijn, director del film y otrora fotógrafo de la banda, sabía perfectamente. Y en el hecho de saber jugar bien con esas pautas reside el acierto de este biopic. Corbijn, holandés de nacimiento, inglés de adopción, no buscó una adaptación del drama en pos de una salida más comercial, sino que se centró en reconstruir, milimétricamente, una imaginería, localizaciones, escenarios y atrezzo de los que él fue testigo directo.

Control se sustenta en un casting perfecto donde se hallaron unos fantásticos actores (Sam Riley borda su interpretación de Ian Curtis), capaces de aprender a reproducir con pasmosa similitud lo particular de cada instrumentista original del cuarteto mancuniano. Súmese a ello un riguroso, fúnebre blanco y negro, con el que Corbijn fotocopia el breve pero intenso recorrido de una banda cuyo legado musicaliza el dolor existencial del ser humano como pocas.

El guión es el que es, y en eso se centra Corbijn, en trasladarnos de forma fidedigna cuanto aconteció durante aquellos años en la vida de Curtis. El paso de éste por el mundo de la música fue breve e intenso, siempre acuciado por su incapacidad para gestionar sus frentes amorosos. O para lidiar con sus crecientes problemas de salud física y mental. Demasiado para un gran músico, mejor intérprete y soberbio letrista, bajo la piel del cual se escondía un frágil ser humano. Daniel González

24 Hour Party People (Michael Winterbottom, 2002)

Tony Wilson, Sex Pistols, Joy Division. Manchester, The Hacienda, New Order. Drogas, música, Boecio. Todo ello contagiado por un ritmo endiablado, post-punk -irónico, pero mortalmente serio: una broma hasta que alguien se cuelga o los demás caen en la cuenta de que no se droga masivamente porque considere divertido hacerlo-, cortesía de un Michael Winterbottom en estado de gracia y un Steve Coogan que nunca ha dejado de estarlo. En suma, 24 Hour Party People es la película definitiva sobre la industria de la música: no deja nada por contar, mete el dedo en la llaga y acaba perdiendo el brazo más allá de las entrañas de una escena musical que hoy se recuerda jovial cuando nunca dejó de ser un puñado de artistas -ergo protosuicidas- más cerca de la crisis existencial que de ser conscientes de cuanto les rodeaba, llegando hasta el Olimpo con el cual después soñarían todos los niños bien: ser una estrella del pop. Y que con su pan se lo coman. Álvaro Arbonés

Granujas a todo ritmo (John Landis, 1980)

Tras el paso arrollador del punk, la fiebre disco, la locura fílmica de los setenta o el nacimiento del nuevo Hollywood, en 1980 todo era posible. TODO. Más si estaba vinculado al show televisivo Saturday Night Live, entonces en su más gloriosa época. Fue allí donde John Belushi y Dan Aykroyd crearon a los Blues Brothers, protagonistas de un sketch cómico musical cuyo éxito derivó en actuaciones en directo y un LP de ventas millonarias. Y de ahí, al cine, aupando de paso a un John Landis recién salido de Desmadre a la Americana (1978). Desaforada comedia de destrucción slapstick (a ratos envuelta de un extraño realismo suburbano) salpicada de números musicales esplendorosos, The Blues Brothers es la gran celebración del soul y la música negra, la única capaz de rivalizar con el punk en cuestión de vitalidad, energía e inmediatez. Más allá de la presencia de algunos de los grandes (Aretha Franklin, James Brown, Ray Charles, John Lee Hooker o Cab Calloway), el mayor mérito de la película es el protagonismo y relevancia que otorga a los componentes de esa banda que hay que reunir por mandato divino. Es decir, a músicos como Duck” Dunn o Willie Hall que habían formado parte de The Mar-keys o de Booker T & The MG’s, o lo que es lo mismo, la portentosa base instrumental del mítico sello Stax, junto al gran Steve Cropper, el guitarrista blanco que compuso temazos tan tremendos como el Soul Man de Sam & Dave,  Knock on Wood de Eddie Floyd, In the Midnight Hour de Wilson Pickett o (Sittin' On) The Dock of the Bay de Otis Redding (por citar unas pocas). Es ahí donde las aventuras de los hermanos Jake y Elwood se erigen en el mayor homenaje fílmico al soul y el rhythm & blues jamás hecho, y eso son palabras mayores. Daniel Ausente

Alta fidelidad (Stephen Frears, 2000)

"¿Escucho música pop porque estoy deprimido o estoy deprimido porque escucho música pop?" La película empieza con el protagonista realizándose esta pregunta (mirando directamente a la cámara) mientras Laura, su última novia, lo abandona. Estas primeras imágenes te dicen que Rob Gordon (John Cusack) es un treintañero inmaduro además de un fanático de la música pop. De hecho, la música es su vida. Lo sabemos, tanto por ese primer monólogo como por lo que vislumbramos de su casa, repleta de vinilos y posters.

Él, aficionado a hacer listas con los top five de cualquier cosa que le agrada o desagrada, utiliza este nuevo fracaso amoroso para repasar sus cinco rupturas sentimentales más dolorosas. Con ello pretende reencontrarse con sus ex para que le cuenten el motivo por el que lo dejaron e intentar recuperar a Laura. Este es el principio de una comedia romántica, para nada cursi o ñoña sino todo lo contrario, llena de diálogos ingeniosos, divertidos e irónicos, situaciones inverosímiles, un reparto espléndido (con un Tim Robbins hippie inolvidable) y una banda sonora impresionante que está siempre presente: Barry White, Goldie, The Chemical Brothers, The Velvet Underground, Elvis Costello, Bob Dylan, Belle & Sebastian, The Kinks...

Alta fidelidad es una adaptación cinematográfica (realizada a propuesta de John Cusack) de la novela del británico Nick Hornby, publicada en el año 1995. Una adaptación muy fiel, por cierto, donde casi lo único que cambia es el lugar donde transcurre la acción. Mientras la novela sucede en Londres, la película es en Chicago. Allí, Rob regenta una tienda de discos de vinilo donde solo vende aquello que realmente le gusta. Tiene poco afán comercial y quizá por eso la clientela escasea. Además, sus dos únicos empleados tampoco son de gran ayuda, pero mantienen diálogos fantásticos. Para ellos, cualquier cosa es un top five. Pueden ser las caras B de singles, sus trabajos más deseados (siempre relacionados con la música), sus grupos más odiados (Génesis, Bryan Adams, U2…) o la música que quieren que suene en su entierro: Bob Marley, Aretha FranklinRoser Messa

Casi famosos (Cameron Crowe, 2000)

Estamos en el verano del 73 y el joven William (que puede tener entre 15 y 18 años dependiendo de a quién le preguntes) ha sido contratado por la revista Rolling Stone para cubrir el concierto de Black Sabbath en su ciudad. Va a dar la noche por perdida, incapaz de acceder al backstage, cuando los miembros de The Allman Brothers Band (aquí Stillwater), que actúan como teloneros, se apiadan de él consiguiendole un pase. Ese es el momento en el que termina su niñez. Satisfechos con su trabajo, la revista le meterá en el bus de la banda buscando un reportaje en profundidad de la gira Casi Famosos. Separado de su sobreprotectora madre, en un ambiente donde parece que está prohibido tomarse nada en serio, el chico deberá madurar, no sólo como persona sino como periodista.

La cinta de Cameron Crowe, que él mismo tilda de semiautobiográfica, consigue hacer que nos preocupemos por un conjunto de personajes imperfectos, aunque encantadores y realistas, mientras que nos sentimos nostalgia por una época que muchos no llegamos a conocer: los años en los que las revistas pagaban las colaboraciones. Marta Trivi

Goshu, el violoncelista (Isao Takahata, 1982)

Algo que pensamos unos pocos de los que tuvimos la espinita de la música clavada demasiado temprano, era que la naturaleza sonaba bien. Es decir, había musicalidad en ella. Sonaban bien los ríos, los pájaros, el viento agitando la cebada y todas esas movidas. En su sonoridad residía una esencia particular y extraña que ningún instrumento podía copiar fidedignamente. Pero los instrumentos en sí, tocados de cierta forma, podían conseguir transmitir lo mismo que los ríos, los pájaros y las movidas.

Isao Takahata debió entender aquello cuando, antes de crear Studio Ghibli con su colega Hayao Miyazaki, hizo Goshu, el violoncelista. Su protagonista es un joven que toca el violín porque debe. Tiene profesores que le exigen hacer que el instrumento suene así o asá y que le dictan qué es la música y cómo debe ser entendida. Así que no es de extrañar que el joven violoncelista termine por aburrirse prematuramente del arte de tocar un instrumento. A pesar de todo, él se atrevió a aprender a tocar escuchando a la naturaleza, aprendiendo el significado de la música de un tejón, de un ave e incluso, de una rata. Y por eso, él fue siempre el músico que muchos no nos atrevimos a ser. Al menos, cuando nos entre la nostalgia, siempre podremos recurrir a ese dibujo primigenio y esa candidez sin artificio que residen en la película que protagoniza. Francesc Miró.

Tú la letra y yo la música (Marc Lawrence, 2007)

Hugh Grant, como cierto tipo de actor radiante de carisma, es casi un género en sí mismo, sin importar mucho la película en la que participe. Haya funerales, bodas, estrellas de cine o experimentos médicos con mendigos, una película de Hugh Grant no deja de ser otro vehículo para el lucimiento de esas formas de pijo como avergonzado de sí mismo, capaz de llevar sobre sus hombros una comedia ligera sin que denote el esfuerzo que eso conlleva en, por ejemplo, el timing de las gracias. Pero, al contrario que Matthew McConaughey, no hay un Dallas Buyer Club (2013) ni un viraje brusco en su carrera que le revele como el actor criminalmente infravalorado que es.

Aquí Hugh Grant interpreta a Hugh Grant (alias Alex Fletcher), un músico de éxito en los ochenta que se ha visto relegado al taller del que salen las canciones comerciales, en una carrera inversa a la de Bruno Mars y tan parecida a la de tantos artistas comerciales hoy olvidados. Por suerte, una chica común con un pasado infeliz, Drew Barrymore, le ayudará a recapturar el mojo que perdiera con el tiempo y los desengaños.

La película en sí parece no ser muy importante si no fuera porque dramatiza lo que sólo suponemos al leer sobre las estrellas de música y su supuesto proceso creativo; porque señala que el pop, como la ciencia, es un continuo subir a hombros de los gigantes que precedieron; porque revela la gran química de Grant con Drew Barrymore; porque tiene el inicio más glorioso de una película de Hugh Grant y lo mejor que ha hecho en su vida. Una vez descubierto todo eso, la película se revela por encima de la media. Se revela como una película de Hugh Grant al cien por cien. Adrián Álvarez.

Last Days (Gus Van Sant, 2005)

Conseguir el “seal of approval” de los talifanes de Cobain no era fácil: salvo excepciones contadísimas, los biopic siempre se enfrentan a esa gran lacra que supone que el actor no se parece ni de lejos ni de cerca al mito, por mucho que imite sus tics. Así que Van Sant optó por el homenaje poético en vez de por la fidedigna reconstrucción de los hechos. En vez de optar por la narración pegada a la realidad, se lanza a una interpretación subjetiva de lo que debió pasar por la cabeza del músico días antes de suicidarse. Habria sido fácil tirar de clichés y lugares comunes, pero Van Sant opta por trazar la cinta con una pincelada impresionista en la que el personaje apenas habla, apenas mira a cámara, pero pese a todo, o precisamente por ello, sirve para meterse en su cabeza, entender su aturdimiento, su hastío, su dolor. Guiños como la aparición de Kim Gordon o ese Venus in furs a todo volumen hablan y explican más que la cronología milimétrica. Carolina Velasco

Let’s get lost (Bruce Weber, 1988)

El fotógrafo Bruce Weber pactó una sesión de fotos con el legendario trompetista y cantante de jazz Chet Baker y la cosa terminó por convertirse en una película de más de dos horas. Es difícil explicar el extraño milagro que realiza Weber al convertir las típicas situaciones artificiales de revista de moda -un descapotable lleno de mujeres hermosas por los bulevares de Santa Mónica, cabriolas de jóvenes modelos en la playa- en unas imágenes llenas de verdad, belleza y tristeza (blues) que revelan al personaje, al mito, al hombre y a la sociedad del espectáculo en un juego infinito de reflejos.

La película se mueve ininterrumpidamente entre los fastos del ayer con un Chet Baker de rostro angelical y trompeta dorada, y el edificio en demolición en el que se ha convertido el músico, cuyo rostro desdentado exhibe permanentemente una mueca de dolor por lo que una vez fue y ya no es. El sobrenatural grano de las imágenes en B/N y la presencia de personajes como Flea de los Red Hot Chili Peppers o Chris Isaak acentúan el abismo temporal por el que se mueve este hombre de paso cansado y voz frágil que conquistó a mujeres fuertes y poderosas que aún hoy siguen compitiendo por su memoria sentimental. El colofón de la película es un Festival de Cannes donde Chet Baker actúa pero ya nadie mira ni escucha. Los coches, las palmeras y las chicas pertenecen a un sueño, al pasado de una figura mítica que desaparece ante nuestros ojos mientras suena Almost blueJavier Trigales

Gran bola de fuego (Jim McBride, 1989)

Suele ser buena señal que el retratado en un biopic reniegue de lo que en la película se dice de él. En materia de artisteo, no obedece a la falta de rigor del retrato ficcionado, sino posiblemente a todo lo contrario: la película no está todo lo maquillada como al artista le habría gustado. El caso de Gran bola de fuego es particular: Jerry Lee Lewis, el incendiario (ja, ja) mito del rock'n roll, odia la película, pero esta es casi una hagiografía de puro respetuosa y mitificadora con su figura. Posiblemente sus reticencias se deban a que en su tercio final retrata una caída en desgracia del artista por la mala prensa acumulada y que el guión está basado en la biografía de Myra Gale Brown, la prima de trece años que interpreta Winona Ryder en la película, y de la que cuando se estrenó el film llevaba divorciado veinte años. Pero para los fans del rock clásico, la película tiene no pocas virtudes: retrata la época entre la nostalgia y la desmitificación, como la comedia ligera que es, y sobre todo lanza un mensaje entre líneas que allá por 1989, con la fiebre nostálgica por los cincuenta aún coleando en Estados Unidos, no estaba muy en boga: el primer rock'n roll de éxito fue una versión descafeinada y masticadita del auténtico y genuino swing que bailaban los negros en tugurios de mala muerte. Por lo demás, la película es una fiesta: Dennis Quaid y Winona Ryder están absolutamente gloriosos pese a la perspectiva acrítica con la que la película contempla su relación y las regrabaciones de los temas de Lewis para la banda sonora suenan igual de potentes e inmediatos que los clásicos originales. Y que por otra parte, ver a un tío tocando un piano en llamas siempre es un gozo, nos pongamos como nos pongamos y por mucha grima que dé el talentoso pirómano.

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La entrada [Todos a una] El ritmo del celuloide aparece primero en Canino.

21 Jul 00:38

Humanity has always embraced household gods

by doctornemo
"Pray for Kumamoto & Kumamon" What is cute? Specifically, what is kawaii? A long read exploration, ranging from earthquakes to mayonnaise and Satan.

Previously.
20 Jul 15:38

Take This Quiz to Find Out If You Eat Like a Democrat or a Republican — Weird Food

by Ariel Knutson

Does your stomach lean more conservative or more liberal? Time looked at customer order data from Grubhub, a food delivery service, to help determine if you eat like a Democrat or a Republican. According to Time,"out of 175 popular items ordered on Grubhub, 75% had significant correlations to the partisanship of those districts."

READ MORE »

20 Jul 15:09

Any monster looks several times cooler if it's oozing something

by showbiz_liz
Bogleech (previously) is currently providing in-depth reviews of every. single. Pokémon. Not every Pokémon game - every individual Pokémon. He's up to #374 now. He can also tell you all about the real-world biological organisms behind such Pokémon as Parasect, Weepinbell, and his beloved Gloom, and explain why they are both grosser and more charming than you ever suspected.
20 Jul 14:35

"I have to go now. My planet needs me."

by Theta States
After Ghostbusters star Leslie Jones experienced racist harassment on Twitter, blogger Milo Yiannopoulous has been permanently banned from the site.
20 Jul 02:25

Ghostbusters Reboot Introduces Men To What Feminist Critics Have Been Saying All Along

by Tim Colwill

After decades of dismissing gender-based literature analysis, men everywhere have begun embracing the concept in order to be offended by the rebooted Ghostbusters movie.

Male film critic Matt Bailey, who just last year recorded a 75-minute YouTube video discussing how it was “pathetic” of women to obsess over their depiction in films, is one of the first to leap into this exciting and newly-valid field.

“I’d heard about the idea of looking more deeply into things before,” said Bailey, “but it all seemed really irrelevant to me. I guess I never really paid too much attention for some reason.”

“But it was when I noticed that the entire cast of Ghostbusters was women that I thought — what does this mean? What are they saying about men?”

Bailey says he now believes that analysing media from the perspective of gender politics can be a useful tool in the hands of someone who “isn’t too emotional”, but women are yet to be convinced.

“I don’t understand why men feel the need to bring politics into everything,” said hardcore movie-goer Julieanne Owens.

“It’s only a movie. Can’t they just sit back and enjoy it?”

20 Jul 02:23

Boyfriend Blows Rom-Com Plot Wide Open

by Emily Horn

An otherwise routine viewing of 27 Dresses by Sarah Kessler and her boyfriend, Andrew Sorenson was disrupted after Sorenson blew the entire plot wide open, citing “numerous holes” throughout the popular film.

 

Sorenson, who was operating under the assumption that a person willingly watching a Katherine Heigl movie would care about plausibility, was quick to point out logical and emotional flaws inherent in the light romantic comedy.

 

“It’s not like I think it deserves an Oscar or anything,” Kessler explains. “But Andrew was determined to point out every flaw of the movie, like how ridiculous it is that anyone could possibly know 27 people well enough to be their bridesmaid in the first place.”

 

Kessler alleges that she tried explaining suspension of disbelief to Sorenson, only to have him retort he wasn’t interested in movies that stifled critique, saying, “No one should have to blindly accept a dumb premise,” and “It’s completely illogical.”

 

“If Katherine Heigl and her sister are so close, why doesn’t she tell him she’s in love with her boss?” he asked, shedding light on a previously undiscovered problem in the Teen Choice Award-winning movie. “And if her best friend is so great, why doesn’t she discourage her from pursuing the boss since he treats her like crap? I don’t think James Marsden was driving fast enough to hydroplane the car.”

 

Kessler’s roommate overheard Kessler gently trying to explain that 27 Dresses was just a fun movie with no further aspirations and doesn’t deserve close scrutiny.

 

 

“It just feels like there’s an interesting movie about feminism and the industrial wedding complex waiting to get out,” Sorenson sighs, adding that if they were going to watch a complex film about marriage the least they could do was rewatch Gone Girl. “I haven’t stopped thinking about that movie since we first saw it.”

 

Sorenson did concede that he did enjoy the performance of Judy Greer as the best friend, who up to that point he had only known from Arrested Development, a show he describes as “a classic”.

20 Jul 01:58

Every article of clothing, has an irremovable tag.

by Johnny Wallflower
A reddit user posed the question, "Satan opens up Heck, a lighter version of Hell. What kinds of tortures are in it?" Here are a few of the responses.

Reddit thread
19 Jul 13:26

Daily VICE: Cockfighting in the Canary Islands

by VICE Staff

On this episode of Daily VICE, Pedro Garcia travels to the Canary Islands, where cockfighting is legal, to meet with men who believe the practice is an important cultural tradition and the activists who see it as "cruel amusement."

Watch Daily VICE in the VICE channel on go90. Head to go90.com to learn more and download the app.

19 Jul 13:26

Nurses Tell Us About the Craziest Stuff They've Ever Seen on the Job

by Sean McManus

Nurses are essential to the profession of healthcare and the infrastructure of hospitals in general. In addition to caring for patients during their hospital stay, they often get a closer look at what's ailing patients better than doctors do. While this means they're often on the front line of giving medical care, it also means they're subject to seeing some truly gnarly shit being wheeled in from the emergency room, after surgery, and during recovery.

So we asked a group of nurses to offer up the grossest, craziest, and most all-out bizarre things they've witnessed while on call. At the very least, you'll walk away from these anecdotes with an even greater respect for their struggle—and who knows, maybe you'll learn to take care of yourself a little better, too.

DOT

I had a guy whose penis was hacked off with a machete—ugly cut, terribly jagged. The penis looked so small and lost laying there on the gurney next to him. For sure, it couldn't be reattached—but that's what you get when you try to outrun the Zeta cartel.

SHAWN

We've been getting a lot of men who overdose on erectile-dysfunction meds, with erections that last hours as a result. It's very painful and psychologically upsetting, and a lot of the guys we see are crying and in panic. The only remedy is to put needles in each side of the dick and siphon the blood out. It's a lot of blood—like, fountains—and when the doctor describes the procedure to the patients, some protest and ask to wait it out instead. If they do that, though, the blood will clot and kill tissue, which means they could lose their penis. The whole thing is a bad scene, and every part of it is excruciatingly painful.

MARTY

The hospital I used to work for was well known for its microvascular surgery—they did things like reattaching amputated limbs and digits, etc. We had this one guy who had a truck fall on him while he was working on it and both his ears were severed. He had them reattached, but developed venous congestion, which can quickly lead to loss of blood supply to the reattached area. We would treat this with leech therapy. Leeches release an enzyme that acts as a local anticoagulant. So this guy walked around the unit several times a day with a leech on each ear, like a nice pair of earrings. It worked. He went home with both ears.

BOB

I had a female patient in her mid 40s who would masturbate constantly. None of my co-workers caught her doing it, so they all assumed she liked me, which didn't help. They would say shit like, "Sarah and Bob kissin' in a tree..." I couldn't wait for her to be well again. It was ridiculous.

DOUG

The usual shit—blood, bones, vomit, weird genitalia—doesn't phase me; it's the stuff I don't expect that does. I work in the emergency room of a large hospital, and we see a lot of poor and/or homeless people addicted to drugs and trying to score by making a bogus health claim. There was a girl that would come in regularly with a different story about how she fell every time. It's a front-row seat to a daily parade of despair, and it can be truly heartbreaking.

JEN

An adult male patient didn't want to use the bedpan, so he hung his ass over the bed and took a shit on the floor like a dog and then called me to "come pick it up."

SAMMANTHA

We had a teenage girl come in with her mom, and the girl looked mortified. She looked fine physically, but it turned out that she threw out her back while twerking for some boys at the community pool. We couldn't do much for her, but I just wanted to hold the girl and tell her it was OK. The mom was really going in on her with the slut shaming, though—I really wanted to say to her, "I did much worse in junior high, and I turned out fine. I like to twerk, too—and I'm head nurse."

KIMBERLYN

I work at a hospital in a remote desert town, so we don't see too much weirdness. But there's this one guy who tries to bring his cat into the ER. The vet is a half mile away, but he never gets the message. It never seems like there's anything seriously wrong with the cat, either—it's usually something like, "My cat has a slight cough."

JENNA

Something happens to hospitalized old people at night. They're like gremlins ... you would never believe how strong a confused older person is. I've been kicked, hit, bit, and spit on by someone's sweet nana after midnight. In the morning, they revert to their tender, caring little Mogwai selves.

ANNA

I've seen so much stuff crammed into people's anal cavities that I'm rarely surprised by it anymore. We once had a guy who had a bad infection on his butt, as well as a brutal perirectal abscess caused by having his pets lick the open wounds. I typically have an iron stomach, but seeing that almost made me throw up. The thought of a dog licking its own butthole, and then licking these sores on this guy's butthole, made me feel disgusted and distraught.

MATTHEW

A drunk, high, and barely conscious homeless man once whispered the lyrics of Iron Maiden's "Run to the Hills" to me. I couldn't stop smiling, and if it wasn't for ethics, moral decency, and HIPAA laws, I would've snapchatted it to all my friends.

LINDSEY

We had a patient come in for an emergency C-section last week, and she pulled a joint out of her weave and tried to light up on the operating table.

LUCY

A guy once used a call light as a lasso, swinging it around his head. He hit my co-worker in the face and fractured her cheek bone with it. That was a bummer.

Follow Sean McManus on Twitter.


19 Jul 13:17

If Magic: The Gathering Cares About Women, Why Can't They Hire Any?

by A D Jameson And Justin Roman For Broadly

Since the GamerGate controversy, geek culture has grown increasingly concerned about the relative lack of women in gaming. Many game companies have responded by declaring their commitment to creating a welcoming environment for a diverse range of players. Wizards of the Coast, the makers behind the fantasy trading card game Magic: The Gathering, are among them. Traditionally, Magic tournaments play host to a sea of male players, and women gamers are a rarity.

In recent years, however, there have been a proliferation of articles about how more women than ever are getting involved in the game. Broadly previously reported on the female Magic enthusiasts who are struggling to make it in the game's competitive tournament scene despite negative comments from territorial men. Last year, Mark Rosewater, the game's head designer and the public face of Magic, even took to Tumblr to solicit advice on how everyone in the Magic community could help female players become more visible. Viewed from a distance, all of this activity around inclusion might look like a gaming company behaving progressively. But in our extensive research on the economic history of Magic, born out of our love for the game, we found that there's good reason to doubt the depth and sincerity of Wizards of the Coast's commitment.

Read more: Women Are Better at Coding Than Men

Even as the company is taking steps to diversify who plays with their cards, the people behind the scenes are still mostly men. According to our count, in the game's 23-year run, only nine women have worked on Magic's design and development teams, in contrast with over 100 men. Some of those women don't even work at the company anymore; four of them worked on sets released between 1994 and 2004. (Wizards of the Coast publishes the names of the designers and developers for each set of cards. This article by Mark Rosewater about the most recent set's design notes, without any apparent concern, that its designers were all men.) And while Wizards of the Coast refuses to answer questions about the gender breakdown of its employees, Magic's current creative team is also dominated by men, as is the team of freelance writers responsible for Magic's ongoing story.

Everywhere we looked, we continued to see men making Magic. Take the game's card art. When we conducted art analysis using Gatherer, Wizards of the Coast's database of every Magic card ever produced, including a record of the card's artist, we discovered that Magic has been almost exclusively illustrated by men. Our research found that since 2000, women artists have not illustrated more than ten percent of the cards in any given set. The game's last four sets—Battle for Zendikar, Oath of the Gatewatch, Shadows Over Innistrad, and Eldritch Moon—all had eight percent or less of their cards illustrated by women. All told, female artists illustrated 78 cards total in those sets, while male artists accounted for 984. That doesn't seem like the work of a company that prizes gender equality.

Photo by Hannah Scharlin-Pettee

If anything, it was Magic's first three years of existence, 1993–96, that saw women most involved in the making of the game. Beth "Bethmo" Moursund was one of the first rules managers, and author of the first editions of the game's official encyclopedia. Early Magic also had female art directors and several prominent women artists. We calculated that by 1996, 27 female artists had illustrated 22 percent of the game's cards. That's hardly ideal, of course, but it was the closest to gender parity that Magic would ever get.

Back in the mid-1990s, the game also featured a wider variety of artistic styles—ranging from the realistic to the cartoonish to the abstract—and depicted a less narrow range of women characters.

Magic cards from the 1990s

During that time, Magic was cerebral and whimsical; it sought to "feed the head" via card sets based on Lord of the Rings, the Arabian Nights, and Dungeons & Dragons campaigns. But after that there was a clear shift. As ex-Wizards of the Coast employee John Tynes laid out in a 2001 Salon article titled "Death to the Minotaur," Wizards of the Coast gradually went from being freaky and alternative to conservative and corporate as its founder and CEO abandoned his utopian plans for the company in favor of branding and other business philosophies.

Indeed, in late 1990s and early 2000s, Magic became increasingly focused on its tournament scene—the Pro Tour—which started in February 1996. This also changed the game's style, eschewing its original weirdness in favor of an "edgy" aesthetic designed to appeal to the young men who still dominate the matches. In 2005, Matt Cavotta, Magic's creative lead, wrote an article that featured an excerpt from the game's guide, which describes "Magic's attitude." In it, he stresses to the card illustrators: "Remember, your audience is BOYS 14 and up," emphasis his. ("I hope this is not offensive to the female Magic fans out there," he notes in an aside.) Whereas early Magic had ostensibly been intended for a broad fantasy audience, by the mid-2000s, it was a fantasy exclusively for young boys.

Women artists started to fade from the game. Between 1998–2008, only five women regularly illustrated Magic cards, their work accounting for less than six percent of the cards published during that time. Even fan favorite artist Rebecca Guay was not always given assignments. Wizards wasn't exactly coy about why this was: In a February 2003 article, the game's art director, Jeremy Cranford, explained that he hadn't assigned any cards from the current sets to Guay because her artistic simply wasn't suitable for his team's rough-and-tumble vision. These tendencies peaked with Conflux (February 2009), a set of cards with no women credited on either its design or development, and featuring no art by any women artists.

Remember, your audience is BOYS 14 and up.

At the same time, the game's tournament scene was growing toxic toward female players. The few women competitors who braved it were openly harassed. Fall 2011 saw a player receive a lifetime ban from the game after threatening to rape Wizards of the Coast's director of organized play, Helene Bergeot. There was also a particularly ugly episode in which male Magic players took to the internet to trash Gizmodo columnist Alyssa Bereznak, who had written a less than flattering account of an OK Cupid date she went on with one of Magic's top pros, Jon Finkel. The situation got so vile that one prominent Magic writer, Geordie Tait, published a rant decrying the misogyny of his fellow players before walking away from the game.

Women players started facing severe challenges from all directions. In 2011, Tifa Robles founded the Lady Planeswalker Society (LPS), a support group for female players. Soon afterward, she landed a job with Magic's brand team. And you might think that Wizards of the Coast would have been interested in having her do outreach to women gamers. But according to Robles, Wizards forbade her from speaking with the press about LPS, and finally made her choose between her job and running the group. She quit.

It's hard to find any commitment to player diversity from Wizards of the Coast during that time—instead, one finds excuses for why the game lacked it. In 2012, some players began asking why more of the game's most prominent characters ("Planeswalkers") weren't women. Head Designer Mark Rosewater's first inclination was to deny that there was much of an imbalance. When a reader corrected him, Rosewater defended the relative lack of female characters, explaining that the Planeswalkers were "player analogues" created "for our players to want to emulate."

Since most Magic players were men, Rosewater reasoned, most of the Planeswalkers had to be male: "The skew comes out of the current natural gender skew in the game," he said. When a reader then asked if that wasn't overly simplistic, Rosewater stubbornly replied, "There is a lot of scientific evidence that people associate better with people more like them. This isn't just gender but every attribute across the board. Humans relate better to what they know." The fact that actual scientific evidence about gamers' preferences contradicts this doesn't seem to have bothered him.

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But it's been the company's policy for a while now that the people who buy the cards get to see themselves reflected in them. In 2005, the game featured an Eastern European-themed setting just as Wizards started publishing Magic in Russian. A more recent block drew inspiration from Eastern Asia, no doubt in order to appeal to growing markets in China, Thailand, and Indonesia. As it happens, Russia and China are "priority markets" for Hasbro, the owner of Wizards of the Coast. Meanwhile, the forthcoming fall 2016 Magic set, Kaladesh, will feature an India-inspired setting, presumably because Hasbro has identified India as an "emerging market" in "2016 & beyond."

As for women, it seems the primary lesson that the company has learned from GamerGate is that there's a lot of money to be made in proclaiming that diversity is a priority, and that it doesn't make good financial sense to alienate half the geek population. But this is not a true commitment to diversity; it's diversity as a marketing strategy. Presumably it will last only so long as women keep buying the cards made by the boys 14 and up who work at Wizards of the Coast.

19 Jul 13:16

Everything I Learned Researching the Female Orgasm

by Sarah Barmak

Image via 'Closer: Notes From the Orgasmic Frontier of Female Sexuality'

A few years ago, I became so intrigued by female sexuality that I decided to write a book about it. Everywhere it was mentioned, it was framed as a mystery that needed to be solved: by pharmaceutical companies racing to develop a "pink Viagra" to restore wives' flagging desire for their husbands; by feminists lamenting that only 57 percent of straight American women have orgasms compared with 95 percent of their male partners; by newspapers musing if women are turned on by apes.

When I set out to write the book, however, I found women weren't really that problematic. Rather, society's lingering bias against women's sexuality, even female anatomy, was making sex complicated for women.

The good news is a growing number of women are taking their sexual well-being into their own hands (literally). Here are seven non-pharmaceutical ways women today are exploring and igniting their sexuality, taken from my book, Closer: Notes From the Orgasmic Frontier of Female Sexuality.

Orgasm Meetups

Women are seeking out alternatives to the dick-pic minefield that is modern dating. Ladies (and men) are sampling spiritual sex practices that slow sex down and focus on female pleasure, like wildly popular orgasmic meditation meetups, a practice where a women's partners stroke their clits for 15 minutes—and don't expect sex in return. There are tantric breathing classes that build ecstasy, techniques to lengthen orgasms until they're several minutes or even an hour long, and many more.

Gamifying Sex

Of course, there's achievements to be earned. Female-centric sex tech is a growing field. You've probably heard of Bumble, the dating app where women make the first move. But how about OMGYES, where you can use a touchscreen to practice bringing a real woman's vulva to orgasm? Or HappyPlayTime, which gamifies female masturbation and gives out points every time you indulge? Or La Petite Mort, a female orgasm tablet game? Well, you have now.

Related: Watch a clip from our VICELAND show, 'BALLS DEEP,' where host Thomas Morton learns about Orgasmic Meditation

Come Mindfully

Meditation might seem like the least sexy activity on the planet. But University of British Columbia psychologist Lori Brotto is pioneering a way of using mindfulness to help women with sexual complaints, including lack of arousal and low desire. Her clinical studies show that quieting the mind, focusing attention on the body, and learning to manage that crappy, judgmental voice in their heads ("Am I taking too long to come?" "Do I look OK?" "Is he enjoying this?") all help women enjoy the sex they're already having.

Female-Friendly Porn

It's pretty well understood that mainstream porn doesn't come close to representing real female pleasure. Women are making more lady-friendly porn than ever before, featuring the kind of movies that really get us off. Many creators, such as Tobi Hill-Meyer, are trans, queer, and/or non-white and make porn specifically for marginalized communities, and prioritize paying actors ethically. Her series, Doing it Online, uses documentary methods to bring real trans women's sexuality to the screen, including the vulnerability and emotional conversations that come up before, during, and after the act. The best (including Hill-Meyer's work) are honored every year by the Feminist Porn Awards.

Twerking and Fertility

While some (predominantly white) folks may dismiss twerking as the latest way for women to get men's attention, others honor its roots in the cultures of colonized women. Activist Fannie Sosa does video work that reminds us that low-body dances have been done for their pleasurable, fertility-boosting, and even abortive powers for centuries. British Columbia's female-run music festival Bass Coast has been taking back the dance with its much-loved Twerkshops, where hundreds of women dance en masse.

Massage Release

We all know men love rub n' tugs. But here's the thing; women's versions are better. Enterprising therapists are redesigning erotic massage for women's pleasure, offering both "yoni massages," which aim to release tension and increase sensation in the vulva, and more explicitly sexual treatments where orgasms act as a therapeutic release.

A More Varied Sex Life

While we don't have data on how many women book sexy massages, we do know the kinds of sex women are having are changing fast. According to Britain's prestigious National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles, women in general are seeking out more varied—and less strictly heterosexual—encounters. The total number of sexual partners reported by women over their lifetime has gone up since 2000, although men's numbers have stayed the same. And whether they identify as gay, bi, or straight, ladies are having more woman-on-woman sex than they used to—more than 18 percent of women 35 and younger say they've had same-sex experiences.

This just scratches the surface (did I mention that I wrote a book's worth on this topic?). One of the main things I took away is that women are wilder, weirder, and more individual in their tastes and desires than we acknowledge in our culture—and that is something to celebrate.

Follow Sarah Barmak on Twitter.

19 Jul 13:08

La Catedral de Santiago permite encender una vela online al Apóstol

by E.P. SANTIAGO


19 Jul 12:56

Danza nudista en las Fiestas del Apóstol

by darío casal Santiago
19 Jul 12:43

El PSOE se queja en el Parlamento andaluz del «desvío deliberado» de trabajo a Navantia Ferrol

by Salgado
Panorámica de la ría, la villa de Mugardos y los astilleros de Navantia en Ferrol y Fene (foto: Mero Barral / 13fotos para Ferrol360)

Panorámica de la ría y los astilleros de Navantia en Ferrol y Fene (foto: Mero Barral / 13fotos para Ferrol360)

FERROL360 | Lunes 18 julio 2016 | 22:54

El grupo del PSOE en el Parlamento de Andalucía defenderá en el pleno de este próximo jueves una iniciativa en la que pide un plan industrial para Navantia al Gobierno central. La diputada autonómica Rocío Arrabal ha reivindicado este lunes que el sector naval «tiene un carácter estratégico» en la provincia de Cádiz.

Exige «un compromiso por la estabilidad del empleo en Cádiz para despejar incertidumbres en torno al futuro de muchas familias gaditanas» en relación con Navantia en la bahía andaluza. Arrabal reclama «un reparto justo de la carga de trabajo para Navantia» y «evitar un desvío deliberado de contratos hacia otras plantas, fundamentalmente a Ferrol».

«El Gobierno debe tratar a Cádiz como un territorio singular», ha dicho, demandando cuando menos que se les proporcionen «las mismas oportunidades que a los astilleros gallegos». Aspira a que logre el respaldo de todos los partidos por ser «un sector que nos necesita y pide nuestro apoyo», apelando al «consenso que merece el naval».

19 Jul 12:42

Novos relatos do 36 fronte ao discurso da “reconciliación” e a “equidistancia”

by Montse Dopico

O congreso 1936. Un novo relato? 80 anos entre historia e memoria deconstrúe o paradigma da "reconciliación" herdado da Transición e procura alternativas desde enfoques como a historia "da xente corrente"

19 Jul 12:35

Cómo Conseguir El Tipo De Sexo Duro Que Deseas

by Natasha Vargas-Cooper For Broadly

Ya habrás visto suficientes películas sobre vampiros para saber que hay algo realmente excitante en la conjunción de placer y dolor. El auge del erotismo de consentimiento dudoso online y el fenómeno de Cincuenta sombras de Grey han inspirado a universitarias y amas de casa de todo el mundo a comprar correas para los tobillos y mordazas de bola. Está bastante claro que el sexo duro es algo que muchas de nosotras disfrutamos y que suscita la curiosidad de muchas más, pero el sexo duro no solo requiere una cantidad bastante importante de buena forma física, sino que también precisa negociación. "Lo que piensa mucha gente sobre el sexo duro son cosas como escupir, tirar del pelo, abofetear, estrangular... Todas esas cosas son lo que yo denomino el cilantro del sexo", explica Danarama, el decano de la Universidad de la Perversión, la rama educativa del famoso sitio web de porno Kink.com. "O te encanta o lo odias. Y a nadie le gusta que solo le escupan un poquito en la cara".

Nos sentamos a charlar con Danarama —un experto en BDSM, perversiones, ataduras y sexo duro— sobre la mejor forma de conseguir que tu pareja te deje el tipo de moratones de los que puedas presumir, sobre usos imaginativos de las fundas de almohada y sobre cómo la cosificación puede ser muy excitante.

BROADLY: Cuando la gente dice que le gusta el "sexo duro", ¿qué crees que quiere decir?
Danarama: Cuando miras las estadísticas, un tercio de la gente indica que el sexo duro es su tipo favorito. ¿Significa eso que todas esas personas desean ser violadas? No. El sexo duro no tiene nada que ver con la violación. El sexo duro es sexo consentido con una sensación de abandono, la sensación de que tu pareja está tan cegada por la pasión que lo que le sale es abalanzarse sobre ti. A veces la gente solo quiere que la follen en posturas de alta exposición.

¿Qué son las posturas de alta exposición?
Tomar las posturas estándar del misionero y el perrito y cargarlas de modo que la otra persona se sienta mucho más abierta, vulnerable y accesible. Es la diferencia entre simplemente tumbarte de espaldas y que te sujeten en esa posición por las piernas, por los tobillos, totalmente abierta. Coger la postura del misionero y hacerla más amplia y abierta consigue que las personas se sientan más vulnerables. Eleva mucho el tono, resulta mucho más excitante y da una sensación más salvaje incluso aunque físicamente no lo sea.

¿Existe una postura de más alta exposición que la del perrito?
Algo que puedes hacer para incrementar la vulnerabilidad y el poder de la postura del perrito es que la persona arrodillada cruce las manos detrás de la espalda y la persona que está detrás le agarre las muñecas mientras follan. De ese modo, la persona arrodillada está en una postura de sumisión casi total mientras que la otra dispone de más impulso físico usando las muñecas para tirar y empujar.

¿Y qué pasa con los accesorios? ¿Qué pasa si el cuero y los látigos no son lo tuyo?
Una forma sencilla de atar a otra persona es usar una funda de almohada para empezar. Ni siquiera tienes que salir de la cama ni separarte de tu pareja para sacarla de un cajón. Puedes usarla para atarle las muñecas o un uso más imaginativo es que ponga los brazos detrás de la espalda y los cubras con la funda de modo que las manos salgan por el otro extremo y hagas que se tumbe de espaldas. De ese modo, el peso de su cuerpo y la funda de almohada sirven de atadura.

Ser un objeto sexual es divertido porque no tienes que currártelo. No tienes que preocuparte de qué aspecto tienes. No tienes que tomar ninguna decisión

¿Cómo puedes tener sexo duro con una pareja si tú estás interesado pero no sabes cómo abordar el tema?
Bueno, lo primero de todo es conocer tus límites y aprender acerca de la seguridad. Tienes que saber —y acordar con la otra persona— qué es lo que te gusta y qué puede hacer tu pareja. En segundo lugar, tienes que tener muy presente la seguridad. Si eres joven y piensas, 'Eh, tengo la fantasía de que me estrangulen', no se lo digas sin más a un desconocido. Literalmente, así es como muere la gente. Ten muy presente la seguridad y trata de orientar al otro.

Imagen por Mosuno vía Stocksy

Vale, juguemos a un juego: imagina que tú eres yo y yo seré un amante de las correas.
De acuerdo, entonces tienes que sugerir las cosas de forma positiva. Por ejemplo, "¿Sabes lo que creo que sería genial? Creo que me encantaría cogerte la mano y colocarla sobre mi boca mientras me follas y si nos pasamos de la raya, sacudiré la cabeza diciendo que no".

O algo como, "Oh, me encantaría que me cogieras del pelo y me empujaras sobre la cama. Escúpeme, cariño, escupe sobre mi cara. Me encanta".

Además, cuando las cosas empiecen a ponerse fuertes y a ti te esté encantando, puedes decir cosas como "Me encanta lo que me haces". Facilitas la labor de la otra persona si le dices lo que te gusta y le dices que estás cachonda. Refuerza positivamente lo que te gusta con cumplidos, en vez de decir lo que no te gusta, que es un mata-erecciones perfecto, independientemente de tu género.

Yo diría que uno de los aspectos más atractivos del sexo duro es la cosificación. Sentirte como un objeto sexual listo para ser usado. ¿Por qué crees que es tan excitante?
Bueno, para algunas personas es la libertad de darte cuenta de que, si eres un objeto, no tienes que currártelo. No tienes que preocuparte de qué aspecto tienes. No tienes que tomar ninguna decisión. La cosificación elimina todo el trabajo que supone adivinar qué hacer a continuación. Y otra cosa muy buena de la cosificación es el hecho de que es una especie de adoración que otra persona te vista y te coloque en posturas. Esto solo se hacía en los círculos más elitistas, es algo propio de diosas, iconos y líderes políticos. El motivo por el que los botones de la ropa femenina están en el lado contrario a los botones masculinos es porque en la sociedad victoriana, la élite más acaudalada tenía una persona que les abotonaba. Resulta mucho más sexy que alguien te vista y haga cosas por ti y cosas contigo que hacerlas tú mismo.

La naturaleza de la humanidad es cosificarlo todo. Somos criaturas bastante simplistas, nos gusta organizar las cosas por categorías y eso es muy despersonalizador —deshumanizador—, pero es una de las cosas que te permiten hacer el BDSM y el sexo duro. Te dejan experimentar cosas que podrían haberte interesado —o que te podrían haber avergonzado, o con las que quizá hayas tenido una experiencia traumática y horrible— y revivirlas en un entorno de consentimiento y con una pareja que te ama. Pueden derivar en una experiencia más positiva, porque puedes emplear una palabra de seguridad, incluso si quieres decir no. Es un tema sobre el que puedes trabajar y la otra persona no parará hasta que digas la palabra de seguridad que hayáis acordado.

19 Jul 11:43

How to Hide Anything, a free booklet

by David Pescovitz

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"How To Hide Anything" is Michael Connor's 1984 book about rigging secret hiding places for your contraband and even yourself. Download the book for free here at Archive.org or purchase a hardcopy from Amazon. Connor is also the author of other well-intentioned self-help books like "Sneak It Through: Smuggling Made Easier" and "The Power of Positive Revenge: A Winner's Guide to Exacting Vengeance."

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19 Jul 10:32

Viñetas en liza: historia del humor gráfico en la Guerra Civil

by Julio Tovar

A lo largo de los tres años en los que España se enfrentó en dos bandos, las publicaciones periódicas con enfoque cómico escasearon, dejando paso a los tartarinescos textos ideologizados de la propaganda de las distintas secciones. Los años que cambiaron la historia de nuestro país para siempre tuvieron un reflejo particular en la viñeta de su tiempo.

“La actitud más cierta ante la efimeridad de la vida es el humor”
Ramón Gómez de la Serna, Gravedad e importancia del humorismo en La Revista de Occidente, n. 28, 1930

 

Es el año 1938; estío en el río Ebro. En un lado de la trinchera, en Pinell, un soldado sublevado lee una revista de humor, se llama La Ametralladora; en el otro lado, un poco al norte, en La Figuera, un lugarteniente de la CNT se ríe a carcajadas con una viñeta del pasquín No veas. Las dos nacieron de la nada el año anterior. Las viejas revistas, centradas en la caricatura de usos y costumbres y en la parodia de los políticos en Cortes, desaparecieron. Los mandos, los combatientes, buscan un humor de batalla que alivie sus sufrimientos y penurias en un conflicto donde el hambre, la miseria y la mezquindad son la única realidad.

Como recuerda Francisco Segado Boj en su reciente libro sobre el humor gráfico en los setenta “los humoristas gráficos desempeñan, en cierto modo, la función de portavoz de diversos sectores de la opinión pública”. Si esa opinión pública, entonces, es destruida después de un golpe de estado, ¿cuáles serán los objetos crítica o sátira entonces?

Militares al inicio de la guerra. Keytone/Getty Images

Militares al inicio de la guerra. Keytone/Getty Images

En efecto: el otro bando. El experto en el periodo Jorge L. Catalá-Carrasco, cita en Vanguardia y humorismo cómo “el proceso de polarización” llevó a un “rechazo del arte puro”. Como consecuencia el humor será todo menos imaginativo; atrás quedarán los juegos surreales de las revistas vanguardistas, el estilete de Clarín o las buñueladas modernistas. Los cómicos serán soldados al servicio de una causa, justa o injusta.

Marco histórico

Ernest Hemmingway, centro, junto a Ilya Ehrenburg y Gustav Regler, a izquierda y derecha. Hemingway Photograph Collection

Ernest Hemmingway, centro, junto a Ilya Ehrenburg y Gustav Regler, a izquierda y derecha. Hemingway Photograph Collection

Los años previos a la guerra del año 36 estaban dominados por la revista Gracia y Justicia en el ámbito conservador, los magazines El Be Negre y Papitu en el contexto catalán, los epígonos surrealistas de Gutiérrez o Buen-humor y en el bando republicano e izquierdista La Traca.

Estas revistas defendían distintas cosmovisiones, todavía bajo la perspectiva de la libertad de prensa bajo la constitución del año 31 (que aunque amplia, perseguía fuertemente las publicaciones antirrepublicanas, como ha estudiado recientemente Justino Sinova en su libro sobre la prensa del periodo). Así, Gracia y Justicia, semanario en la órbita de la CEDA y esa derecha provincial castellana, suele centrar sus chistes en los enemigos políticos habituales como los republicanos, ateos y rojos. Un humorista, Sanchidrían, realiza esta comparación sesgada entre votar a la izquierda y la derecha en un marco explosivo como enero del año 1936:

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El humor, todavía sutil, deja entrever el chiste de clase, esencial en el mundo conservador de los años treinta. En sus páginas, donde el dibujante estrella es Kin (Joaquín de Alba), muestra siempre a diputados como Manuel Azaña o Indalecio Prieto travestidos de ladrones de gran volumen físico. La revista, que llamará abiertamente al golpe luego de las elecciones que gana el Frente Popular, fue suspendida por el gobierno republicano de izquierdas.

En el ámbito nacionalista, un hervidero de publicaciones ilustradas desde el siglo XIX tuvo sus referentes en las citadas Papitu y El Be Negre. Eran herederas de la sátira de ¡Cu-Cut!, en la cual el propio fundador de Papitu, Feliu Elías, fue dibujante. Papitu fue pionera del humor erótico en catalán, ya que estaba dominada por chistes como éste para enero de 1936. Si bien en origen pretendía ser una publicación comprometida, las mujeres semi-desnudas, sugerentes -siguiendo modelos franceses-, dominarán sus últimos números.

“¡Y qué borrachera ha cogido mi marido! ¡Cualquiera diría que esta es mi noche de bodas!”

“¡Y qué borrachera ha cogido mi marido! ¡Cualquiera diría que esta es mi noche de bodas!”

Más deudora del espíritu de clase de la burguesía intelectual catalana, aún crítica, El Be Negre (El Cordero Negro) de Josep María Planes no abandonará la sátira, dirigiéndose a todos los estamentos. Moderna y europeísta, con nombres como Josep M. de Segarra o Eugeni Xammar, se pretendía una versión catalana del célebre Le Canard Enchainé (fundado para 1915 en Francia, y que todavía sobrevive).

Los tres enemigos del diario serán la vieja burguesía catalana, el pistolerismo anarquista y el “Madrit” burocrático e ineficiente. En mayo de 1936, apenas dos meses antes de la Guerra Civil, se reirán de la campaña de El Imparcial contra el estatuto de Cataluña con esta portada:

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Se clama con mucha sorna contra el “separatismo” de Castilla y León, lo que históricamente es certero: a inicios del año 36 la II República empezó a debatir el estatuto de esta región, como ha estudiado recientemente Rubén Domínguez Méndez. Este semanario no sobrevivirá a la muerte de su dueño, Planes, por pistoleros de las FAI en agosto del año 36.

Un poco antes, el estatuto catalán, en el año 31, ya supuso algunas portadas de Gutiérrez, semanario señero del absurdo capitolino y clave en la posterior La Ametralladora. Llegaron, en una portada, a poner "España" de nombre a una salchicha de la que se cortaba un trozo llamado "Cataluña". Pero lo interesante de esta revista, en cierto sentido, no era tanto su sesgo derechista como la incorporación de las semillas del absurdo que eclosionarían en los años cuarenta. Es decir, este semanario, nacido en 1927, verá a todos los nombres de una nueva generación cómica: Jardiel Poncela, Edgar Neville, Miguel Mihura y, especialmente, Ramón Gómez de la Serna.

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Francisco Umbral siempre afirmó de manera clarividente que el 27 era una “prolongación” del autor de las Greguerías y su humor absurdo, nunca malicioso, domina la publicación. Así, esa visión “infantil”, entre surreal y dadaísta, da una perspectiva distinta a la aburrida realidad de los primeros años de la República. Desaparecerá en el año 35, con la radicalización del discurso político.

La última revista anterior a la guerra civil, la valenciana La Traca, es un pasquín que ya venía del XIX, del año 1887, y se inspiró en origen con los ideales republicanos y anticlericales del escritor Vicente Blasco-Ibáñez. Esta publicación levantina, que supuso un éxito de tirada especialmente al inicio de la II República con su versión en castellano (más de 500.000 ejemplares, según Catalá-Carrasco), estará centrada en la mofa y befa de los enemigos del nuevo régimen: aristócratas y curas. Aquí una viñeta del año 31 que resume bien las obsesiones de esta publicación:

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La revista sobrevivirá a la Guerra Civil, todavía más radical, pero desaparecerá después del derrumbe del bando republicano en el año 38. Su fundador, Vicent Miquel Carceller, morirá fusilado por ser “autor de un delito de adhesión a la rebelión militar” el 28 de junio de 1940. En una paradoja tremenda había escrito una carta de clemencia con bastante ironía a Franco en la propia revista el 28 de julio de 1937: “serénate un poco y perdona a este canalla, que, si siempre te atacó, hoy se arrepiente y te alaba”.

No hubo clemencia: a partir del año 36, el humor de costumbres dejó pasó al que salía de la punta de los lápices; improvisadas bayonetas de las nuevas trincheras de papel de los dos bandos.

En lucha contra “el paraíso fascista”

Cartel del Partido Comunista para el año 38

Cartel del Partido Comunista para el año 38

La guerra va a favorecer una prensa de partido en los dos bandos, pero también a dar pie a muchas nuevas publicaciones asociadas a las secciones, milicias y facciones de la República. De julio a noviembre van a florecer pasquines, casi mensualmente, a medida que el ejército franquista se aproxime a Madrid. El escritor Modesto Sánchez de las Casas, en un libro sobre la prensa en guerra para 1987 de la Asociación de Prensa de Madrid, cree que la movilización de la capital fue “cívica” y se enfrentó al ataque de los sublevados. Eusebio Cimorra, periodista en Mundo obrero, en otro capítulo de esa publicación llega a dar el sorprendente número de 150 publicaciones para 1937 en la capital.

Estas revistas y periódicos tienen o bien cierto carácter obrero (en oposición a la vieja prensa burguesa), o son más bien diarios de tipo intelectual. Este último será, por ejemplo, el camino del ABC de Madrid, incautado ya el 20 de julio de 1936 y domeñado por la izquierda republicana. Tuñón de Lara consideró que los medios republicanos daban más importancia a la “cultura”, pero en todo caso sería siempre aquellos afiliados a cierta intelligentsia socialista, de tirada minoritaria. La más satírica de estas últimas revistas literarias es El Mono Azul, que agrupaba a la intelectualidad de izquierda de la República bajo el amparo de Rafael Alberti y su Alianza de Intelectuales Antifascistas.

Portada del primero número de la revista, en agosto del 36

Portada del primero número de la revista, en agosto del 36

Se vale de la lírica satírica como muestra esta chanza contra el general Emilio Mola, al que comparan con un toro de lidia en noviembre del año 1936.

¿Sus enemigos? Todo intelectual que apoye al bando nacional: Gregorio Marañón, Miguel de Unamuno, etc. La filósofa María Zambrano recuerda que esta publicación, a pesar del tono literario, estaba dirigida a las masas y buscaba “este traje sencillo de la guerra, este uniforme espontáneo del ejército popular”. De vez en cuando, también, muestran viñetas con sesgo político, donde se denuncia casi siempre el aislacionismo al que se ha condenado a la República. Una viñeta ocurrente, en este final del año 36, son varios maniquíes que se muestran como ejemplo del pasado. Está firmada por Ramón Gaya, pintor y escritor vinculado a este grupo de Alberti que hubo de sufrir el exilio.

Esta “hoja semanal”, un volante insertado en el periódico La Voz, duró hasta el año 1939.

Esta “hoja semanal”, un volante insertado en el periódico La Voz, duró hasta el año 1939.

En el resto de publicaciones, podemos destacar diarios de tipo obrerista como La Joven Guardia (boletín de las Juventudes Socialistas Unificadas) que se edita a lo largo del año 36 y que tenía colaboraciones cómicas en viñetas de dibujantes como Darío o Oses. Este último hizo esta aguda viñeta para octubre del año de inicio de la guerra:

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Otra publicación, Trincheras, emanada de las juventudes obreras también, mostraba viñetas de este modo en julio de 1937.

La Hora: Diario de la Juventud, nacida también en 1937, fue el pasquín de mayor éxito y durará hasta mayo de 1938. Según Catalá-Carrasco este diario “fue probablemente el que mayor presencia de historietas” tuvo de todos los periódicos izquierdistas; especialmente gracias a las tiras cómicas del dibujante Ley (José Soriano Izquierdo). Casi siempre suele abrir con un recuadro, arriba a la derecha, en la que se muestra una crítica a los sublevados como títeres de los poderes fascistas.

Avanzada la guerra, llegará a tener una sección infantil llamada “Historias para niños” donde se pretendía aligerar el conflicto a los niños mostrándosela a través de dibujos, como una fábula. Llegado el 38, siguiendo la ofensiva triunfalista del Ebro, esta revista tendrá más textos cómicos con secciones como Humor, donde empieza a vislumbrase el chiste costumbrista, y una sección de chanza llamada Rincón del Cinismo donde se ríen del bando contrario a través de lo más carpetovetónico de sus publicaciones.

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Lo curioso de esta página, por otra parte, es que el carácter rijoso de estos textos, tan propios de la educación nacional católica, también está en los chistes propios de la publicación: ahí está este tremendo aforismo -que habría aplaudido Luis Carandell- al lado de esta sección paródica de los fascistas. Estos citados ejemplos, alejados del intelectualismo del Mono Azul, mezclan la propaganda, las acusaciones contra el enemigo y las recomendaciones en el campo de batalla. No se pueden considerar publicaciones cómicas, pero sí se apoyan en viñetas a la hora de apuntalar un discurso muy marcado. Las únicas revistas cómicas puras, entonces, que dominarán el bando republicano serán la citada La Traca y los semanarios L'Esquella de la Torratxa y el efímero pero fundamental No veas.

Torratxa… era una publicación de humorismo gráfico catalán proveniente del siglo XIX y se inspiraba en origen en las viejas ideas del federalismo republicano de Pi y Margall. Incautada al inicio de la guerra por la UGT, vio aparecer a dibujantes célebres como Calders o Tisner. Sorprende, en cualquier caso, el acento reposado y blanco de los textos, poco combativos, y que es casi opuesta a las publicaciones anteriormente citadas. De hecho, llegan a publicarse reportajes celebratorios, casi publirreportajes, de las fábricas catalanas en plena guerra civil. Su estilo puede verse en esta viñeta del valenciano Ernesto Guasp de abril de 1937, muy alejada del frentismo de las publicaciones que se distribuían en la capital.

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Es la guerra reducida a una simple chanza sobre una anciana que no sabe cómo se va a misa. Los últimos números, con la guerra acercándose a Cataluña, acabaron con este humor suave. Su última publicación, en enero de 1939, mostraba una viñeta de Franco a lomos de un toro acometiendo a un miliciano. En la caricatura, este último paraba el toro; en la realidad, el ejército franquista no pudo ser detenido.

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Para terminar entre los republicanos, lo más cercano a una publicación cómica pura en Madrid fue la radical No veas. Este folletín, sin duda, es el más vehemente de todos y estaba inspirado por el pintor y cartelista José Bardasano Baos y mostraba con crueldad e ímpetu los defectos y carácter de los alzados en armas. De vida efímera, de mayo a septiembre de 1937, encapsula bien el espíritu del Madrid sitiado en sus múltiples viñetas.

Aquí todo aquello que representa el conservadurismo es atacado sin piedad: los sombreros de copa, las señoras bien, el clasismo o el militarismo atroz. Este último, representado para los capitolinos en los incesantes bombardeos, se resume bien en esta viñeta:

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Pero son muy ocurrentes, también, sus chistes contra la sociedad “guapa”, a la que cambia sus atuendos acicalados por el mono obrero en esta página de agosto de 1937.

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Una buena respuesta, sagaz, al humor de clase que domina la prensa de derechas. Otras viñetas, más desafortunadas, hacen sangre con los protegidos de las embajadas en Madrid: la llamada “quinta columna” que vivía bajo el terror de las secciones de la capital sitiada, tal como cita en sus obras el historiador estadounidense Stanley G. Payne. Un caso de revista radical de humor, sin cortapisas, que buscaba responder a ese hito del humor que sería la semilla de La Codorniz en el otro bando.

Se vende hoz y martillo, fin de temporada

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En la entrevista de Iván Tubau con el dibujante Tono (Antonio Lara de Gavilán) -en su brillante historia del humor gráfico De Tono a Perich (1973)- este último responde que el humor gráfico es “el punto en la i de la actualidad”. Esta contestación, casi un aforismo, demuestra el talento que debido a la Guerra Civil acabó germinando en La Ametralladora, el referente clásico del humorismo de derechas en la guerra civil.

La zona sublevada, la zona franquista, instituyó una delegación de Prensa y Propaganda a través de Nicolás Franco, hermano del dictador. Sinova interpreta que el objeto de esta fundación era “dar a conocer el carácter del Movimiento Nacional”, puesto que existía una “calumniosa campaña” por parte de los “rojos” entre los gobiernos internacionales. Uno de los extraños frutos afortunados de esta política reaccionaria, que imitaba los modelos fascistas continentales, es la fundación el 25 de enero de 1937 de La Ametralladora.

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Un verdadero esfuerzo técnico, con portadas y contraportadas a color, que resultó en un semanario gráfico dedicado al combatiente basado en inicio en el chascarrillo contra los rojos y la mofa de los políticos republicanos. Lo fascinante es cómo una publicación en origen político, que pretendía reírse de todos los tópicos izquierdistas, acabe siendo poco a poco una revista de humor vanguardista, con no pocos toques de costumbres.

¿La razón? Se suele citar la dirección de Miguel Mihura, a partir de noviembre de 1937, pero es que ya en los primeros números el absurdo comparte viñetas con la sátira, algo casi imposible de ver en una revista republicana. Un ejemplo es esta viñeta sobre el secuestro de un queso, que parodia las persecuciones y hambrunas de Madrid, y que mezcla humor político, costumbrista y surreal con éxito. Incluso se permite una punchline sobre el parecido de la cara de los políticos republicanos y el queso gruyere (se refieren, claramente, a Manuel Azaña):

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La Ametralladora fue un producto extraño que unió a casi toda la generación del 27 proveniente de Gutiérrez como el citado Mihura, Edgar Neville, o nuevas incorporaciones como Tono. Segado Boj cita a Mihura y que recuerda que se sintió en inicio “incapacitado” por su tipo de humor para dirigir una revista política. Incluso entró en la zona nacional ocho meses tarde, alejado de cualquier lealtad de primera hora.

El humor político, por otra parte, aunque domina los primeros números, todavía pretende ser amable y está lejano de la dureza del No veas de Madrid. Por ejemplo, esta viñeta de Tono sobre el saludo marxista, el puño en alto, tiene más de humor visual que se interroga por los signos antes que discurso político.

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Segado Boj también recuerda que Tono, que vivió en el París de los surrealistas y en el Hollywood de sus años dorados, es el humorista “más profundo” de todos sus compañeros del 27. Esto no es óbice para que haya también muestras de humor político más comunes, en el estilo de la citada Gracia y Justicia, como esta curiosa historia de Manuel Azaña (bautizado como “Araña”) dibujada por Maño.

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Otras historietas son más crueles, como la de Stalin robando obras de arte y el célebre Oro de Moscú, pero no son las que más se recuerdan en perspectiva de esta publicación. Un número muy divertido, el de agosto de 1937, llega a escribir en un catalán macarrónico el editorial como parodia de la prensa catalana.

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Estos juegos del formato, de mensaje -tan caros a Mihura o Tono- se repiten una y otra vez en nada menos que una revista de propaganda “para los soldados”. Y como muestra de su carácter juguetón, en fin, este encarte tan auto celebratorio, más fantasioso que real gracias a sus tres puntos suspensivos.

Ha estallado la paz

El franquismo no tuvo piedad con los cómicos adversos y tampoco con los suyos más heterodoxos. Hemos visto cómo fusiló a Carceller o exilió a Ramón Gaya, pero también constriñó a sus propios humoristas que se quedaron imposibilitados por la censura a hacer cualquier tipo de humor gráfico. Así, una de las últimas viñetas de La Ametralladora, donde se muestra un burgués adinerado intentando que su dinero valiera algo, resultaría imposible con el marco cultural de posguerra y la restrictiva ley de prensa de 1938. Toda viñeta, todo dibujante debía ver su trabajo aprobado por un censor y contar con un permiso para circular.

Según Iván Tubau, esto allanó el triunfo para el humor vanguardista y evasivo de Mihura y sus compañeros, ya que “el humor crítico se vio prácticamente condenado a desaparecer”. Será el tiempo de la celebrada La Codorniz, triunfo gráfico, en principio surreal con Mihura y luego costumbrista con De la Iglesia, especialmente en los años cincuenta, y el advenimiento de la generación de Rafael Azcona. La teoría de Tubau, en fin, queda refrendada ante la desaparición de la propia La Codorniz en el 77… ¿quién quería comprar humor opaco y de costumbres cuando Por favor (1974) o Hermano Lobo (1972) se burlaban ya de todo el tardofranquismo? Y es que, en la guerra, al menos, hubo más libertad gráfica a costa del otro bando: aunque fuera en una cárcel de papel.

Viñeta de No Veas. Junio de 1937

Viñeta de No veas. Junio de 1937

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La entrada Viñetas en liza: historia del humor gráfico en la Guerra Civil aparece primero en Canino.

19 Jul 10:16

Gatos victorianos: De despreciables seres peludos a símbolos de estatus

by Virginia Mendoza

Se encontraron después de mucho tiempo. Harrison Weir explicó a su amigo que estaba organizando un show de gatos. El primero de la historia. Él estaba orgulloso. Era 1871 y hasta hacía menos de una década no sólo habría sido impensable exhibir un gato, sino que nadie se habría planteado tenerlo como mascota. Al menos, […]

Este post Gatos victorianos: De despreciables seres peludos a símbolos de estatus, escrito por Virginia Mendoza, se publicó originalmente en Yorokobu.

19 Jul 10:07

Te decimos qué libro te deberías leer según tu Pokémon de inicio

by Beatriz Serrano

¡Porque nadie puede hacer dos cosas a la vez!

Desde que Pokémon Go ha llegado a España, un grupo de personas ha sugerido a los jugadores "leer un libro" en lugar de jugar.

Desde que Pokémon Go ha llegado a España, un grupo de personas ha sugerido a los jugadores "leer un libro" en lugar de jugar.

Twitter: @jordirico

Como todo el mundo sabe, es incompatible la idea de disfrutar de Pokémon Go y al mismo tiempo de una buena lectura.

Como todo el mundo sabe, es incompatible la idea de disfrutar de Pokémon Go y al mismo tiempo de una buena lectura.

Twitter: @LaVozDeLarra

Twitter: @CarlosG_Miranda

Twitter: @oscarronda


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