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16 Aug 10:13

The Coen Brothers' First TV Show Is Coming to Netflix

by Lauren Messman

After announcing back in January that they would be making their first foray into television, the Coen brothers' upcoming western anthology The Ballad of Buster Scruggs has found a home on Netflix, Variety reports.

The filmmaking siblings confirmed the news Wednesday by releasing the following joint statement: "We are streaming motherfuckers!"

While details are relatively sparse for the upcoming project, we do know that the Coen brothers will write, direct, and produce Buster Scruggs as an anthology, told in six separate stories about the American West. Tim Blake Nelson (O Brother, Where Art Thou?) will star in the title role, and James Franco, Zoe Kazan, and Ralph Ineson are all rumored to make appearances, according to IndieWire.

"The Coens are visionary directors, masterful storytellers, and colorful linguists," Cindy Holland, Netflix's vice president of original content, said in a statement. "We are thrilled for Netflix to become home to the full range of their talents."

In recent years, the Oscar-winning filmmakers have spent their directing efforts on movies about 1960s New York with Inside Llewyn Davis, and 1950s Hollywood with Hail, Caesar! With a new Western project, we'll likely get to see the duo return to the gothic Americana charm that made True Grit, No Country for Old Men, and O Brother, Where Art Thou? cinematic successes.

The Ballad of Buster Scruggs is set to hit Netflix sometime in 2018.

16 Aug 09:20

Retro Reviews: The Vikings – Go Berserk

by noreply@blogger.com (Lord Rutledge)
Review by Rob Sheley

For my opinion, there is a big five of '90s garage rock & roll. Everything these five bands did and what they morphed into is necessary in every collection. They are The Devil Dogs, New Bomb Turks, The Humpers, Lazy Cowgirls, and The Dirtbombs. No five more perfect bands from that era have existed in similar friendly competition, each release more essential than the last. I will eventually focus on them. But as you know, all good things must come to an end. So I'm interested in focusing on their next big things.

Enter The Vikings, originally conceived as a two single side project that morphed into a more complete (albeit short) project with some of Norway's finest. When the Devil Dogs toured Norway in 1991, bass player Steve Baise met Morten Henriksen of the Yum Yums. Morten convinced Steve to come over and do some shows as a pickup band called the Devil Frogs. The band would do Devil Dogs songs and some choice covers. By 1993 Steve made a return trip, and Morten recruited two new members to the band to do five shows and record four songs. Those members were Happy Tom (Thomas Seltzer) on drums and an 18-year-old second guitar player named Euroboy (Knute Schreiner) - who of course went on to join Turbonegro a few years later. They cut the singles (one original & three covers) for two separate releases on Sympathy and Screaming Apple and changed their name to The Vikings. Released in 1994 to great reviews, the Vikings' "Rock All" & "Savage" singles were perhaps the warning signs that may have ended the Devil Dogs. By early 1995, the Devil Dogs had called it a day. Steve had eight songs (that would have been the next Devil Dogs record) and a budding relationship with a girl and new band in Norway. He took his songs and a bag full of covers to record what would become The Vikings' lone album Go Berserk.

Go Berserk is a flawless album. It is everything that is great about garage rock in general. A great formula to make a killer record is a balance of strong originals and a few covers (famous or obscure) peppered in. The trick is to interpret the covers in your style so that no matter how iconic the song, it becomes yours. Look at the early Stones, Beatles, Little Richard, Jerry Lee, Elvis (both of them), The Sonics, and Otis Redding. All were great writers and great interpreters. The Vikings followed that similar path of blending influences with originals; it gives you as a listener a spyglass look into the band's record collection and how they craft their songs and their sound. I'm a big fan of covers and how bands choose those covers, how they change or play them straight and how well they fit. As a side note, The Dirtbombs' Ultraglide In Black exemplifies this point. But that is another entry altogether.

Released in 1995, Go Berserk was a monster of record. The power of the band jumps off the record with the first track, "My Friend’s Little Sister". Clocking in at two minutes, it is the best song that the Devil Dogs never recorded. Big drums, crisp cutting distortion, and immediate vocals propel the record forward at a very live aggressive pace. Similar to the way the Devil Dogs made records, but this is different and not a copy of what they did. In hindsight, you can hear the power pop leanings of the Yum Yums and the best parts of what made Turbonegro great coming through in the performances - making this a unique entity unto itself. "Bad To Be Good", "Hard Knox High", "Strikeout King", "Summer of Hate", "Stop It", "(5-4-3-2) Baby You're The 1", and the debut single "Rock All" are everything that one would expect from Steve Baise as a songwriter. Catchy, fast, and big hooks that get stuck in your head. It takes great skill to write songs this good and this consistent.

The other story on this record is what is brought to the table by way of covers. None of the covers are big hits (with the exception of "Surrender" by Cheap Trick). I would say that they are more unique rather than completely obscure. An astute collector would know most if not all of the bands but not necessarily the song choices by those bands. "It's Cool To Rock" by the Accelerators is the one cover that could be mistaken for an original because they stay rather faithful to the original. There was no need to improve upon the original; it is just that good. "Let's Go" by Bay City Rollers is a WTF moment, but it works perfectly, played at triple speed of the original. It takes on a very Slade-like feel and removes all of the schmaltz you may be thinking it would contain. The back to back of "The Fly" by Chubby Checker and "Push & Stomp" by Joan Jett are rollicking versions of the originals, a double paring of songs about dancing that is a very nice touch. The record closes with a triple threat of goodness: "Surrender" followed by the Nervous Eaters' "Just Head" and closing with "Savage", one of the four lone songs by Australia's Fun Things. The opening verse says everything you need to know. "I am the rock & roll kamikaze, and you know that I'd die for you. When you're paying your bills to see me, I gotta do what you want me to." Pure rock & roll poetry and a perfect ending!

Go Berserk was released in 1995 on Sympathy on CD. The CD includes both the "Rock All" (also on Sympathy) and "Savage" (originally on Screaming Apple) singles. The record was released a year later on vinyl by Roto records out of Spain. In 2005, Just Add Water Records re-released Go Berserk as a double CD called Best Head Ever. It includes everything from the Sympathy release and four more songs from a 7" called High Time on Hit Me! out of Norway. It includes a very early version of "Good Head" - later made famous by Turbonegro. The two-CD set also includes a 12-song live record from Oslo. To the best of my knowledge, that is everything they recorded.

Though short lived, The Vikings are a crucial sign post of '90s garage rock. Even if the members never recorded another note, this still would rank as a masterpiece. It is surprising that more bands from both the states and Scandinavia didn't pick this up as a copycat project and do something similar in terms of sound and the blend of covers and originals. I implore you to track this down and make it one of your favorites; I assure you that you will not be disappointed in the least. You will only wish you could have discovered it to sooner to have the pleasure of enjoying it longer.



-Rob Sheley
15 Aug 18:45

We Asked Tattoo Artists About the Weirdest Pop Culture Ink They’ve Done

by Ebony-Renee Baker

If you've ever been so moved by a final episode of The Bachelor that you decided to tattoo the proposal scene on your ass cheek, keep reading because this one's for you.

OK, so while there may or may not be someone currently bearing a Bachelor tattoo on their ass (holler @ me if that you), tattoos related to pop culture have skyrocketed amid the 21st century's warm embrace of both tattoo and nerd culture.

Just a decade ago, getting a simple tattoo on your neck or hand was something many scoffed at. Today, you'll see a tattoo of a psychedelic cat caressing Drake's decapitated head and barely bat an eye.

Even Drake himself has taken to ink to pay tribute to one of his famous idols, evident in his new tattoo of Lil Wayne's face, which he revealed last week.

Compare that to other famous tats like Ed Sheeran's Fresh Prince of Bel Air tattoo, Ryan Gosling's bicep tribute to the children's book The Giving Tree, or Janet Jackson's rendition of Minnie Mouse giving Mickey Mouse a blow job, and it kind of makes you wonder what other crazy pop culture shit people have tattooed on their bodies.

Luckily, a bunch of tattoo artists across Canada were willing to fill us in on some of their most unique requests.

Jenn Willits, Winnipeg

Tattoo art by Jenn Willits

I have a client whose entire back is Disney princesses as zombies. The Mad Hatter is being ripped apart by Alice, Belle has the Beast's head severed, Snow White's eating a dwarf and all that kind of stuff. So, super dark, but definitely a spin on Disney.

Regarding celebrity faces I've actually done three Gord Downie portraits since he was diagnosed with terminal cancer, which was actually quite crazy. I did a full portrait of Gord on a friend's whole forearm and then I did another portrait of him singing from one of his final shows. I also had a father and daughter come up from Syracuse, New York, who are ridiculously big Hip fans, to get Hip tattoos. Her father got [Downie's] face on his arm and she got "Bobcaygeon" lyrics down her spine.

Oh, and I also did a full sleeve regarding the show Lost. On that sleeve, we had the hieroglyphics around his wrist, a close up of Locke's scarred eyes, Hurley and Locke looking over the hatch, the Dharma symbol, the numbers, the plane crashing, the Anubis statue ... it's a huge compilation sleeve. He was a huge fan and had given me lists upon lists and I just worked with him to make sure everything was authentic. I love doing themed tattoos.m

Neil Tavares, Toronto

I would say the weirdest, but still kind of cool, tattoos would probably be when a girl wanted a picture of a Jedi in her likeness and her cat depicted as Han Solo. I was kind of like, "OK, alright, let's do this, yeah, fine, cool!" It worked out really well and the end result was definitely something I hadn't seen before.

I've done a few Dragon Ball characters, and sometimes with Dragon Ball fans, I feel like they're never happy with how anyone draws the characters. A lot of the time those are some of the pickiest designs I've ever encountered. And it's a shame because I love Dragon Ball.

Poppy Del, Edmonton

Tattoo art by Poppy Del

When I first started dating my boyfriend last year, we were watching a lot of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. So in the third season, they're flying first class and there's this quick little joke where the stewardess asks if she can get them anything and Charles is like, "Yeah I'll take some tissues, a blanket, and oh, y'all got sundaes?" My boyfriend and I thought that was kind of silly so one day when I had a cancellation, I ended up tattooing a little sundae on him that says, "Y'all got sundaes?"

Inshaan Ali, Toronto

Tattoo art by Inshaan Ali

I've done at least three [ass] cheek tattoos of sports logos, and I've said no to a lot of them. One of the cheek tattoos I did was the Fighting Irish logo for Notre Dame on an 80 year old guy who was just like, "Yeah I was on the team in the '60s and I want to remember it." I said, "How old are you?" He said 80 so I was like, OK.

Also the Drake [6 God] hands have been popping up a lot since last summer. I did a big one on the arm and some on the ribs but it's mostly [smaller ones] on the arm. I know it's based off the actual designs of another artist, Albrecht Dürer, so it's not a horrible tattoo. The only thing that makes it weird is when someone puts a tiny six next to it.

Chad Jacob, Hamilton, Ontario

I've done Jesus Christ inverted upside down on a crucifix, engulfed in flames while being disemboweled by zombies. I had Michaelangelo from the Ninja Turtles eating a brain instead of a pizza, and then there was Moe Szyslak from The Simpsons as a zombie. I've done a client's childhood cartoon characters all zombified in a half sleeve. And then there was the Ghostbusters and R2-D2 from Star Wars, all zombified, whether they were deteriorating or missing an eyeball or limb here or there. I've done zombie mashups with some of the pop icons too, like Marilyn Monroe, Elvis Presley and Johnny Cash all as zombies. I don't know how much you actually want to write down as to how many zombies I've tattooed in my life. No clue [why people get them]...I don't see the appeal really.

Cinthia Melfi, Montreal

I wouldn't say I've done many crazy ones but every so often we do Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter tattoos. Those are the most popular pop culture requests we get in the shop. It's just kind of a cult following in a way ... people are really into it. I've done a lot of the Elvish language, the Tree of Gondor, or the Deathly Hallows logo. One time a Quidditch team in their early twenties came in and all got the paddle tattooed on their ribs.

And one time, we got an email from a guy wanting the Caesar crown tattooed around his bumhole. None of us were interested in doing that.

Danny Dowling, Vancouver

Tattoo art by Danny Dowling

I've done a hot dog and a vegemite jar having sex on a girl's butt cheek. I do a lot of Simpsons characters. I actually just did two the other day at the Kelowna convention. With my work, it's inspired by a lot of craziness like LSD and things like that. So I did a Homer that looked like he was tripping pretty hard. A lot of Beavis and Butthead. Fuck, what else? I've done a weird-as-fuck Drake [portrait].

I love it. We live in an extreme world. Five years ago, it was a hand tattoo that was extreme. It's all about shock value.

Maddalena Ruggiero, Toronto

Tattoo art by Maddalena Ruggiero

There was this one woman who was obsessed with Enrique Iglesias. She said she went to his concert and tore off her underwear and her shirt and threw it at him on stage. So she came and got his signature tattooed across her arm. It was probably palm sized—not massive but big enough that it's noticeable. It wasn't subtle.

In terms of pop culture fads, a lot of people get infinity symbols. Oh God. I'm so tired of tattooing those. I've probably tattooed hundreds of them and honestly I don't know what the fascination is. Like, I get it, there's a hundred and ten meanings you could put with it. But the infinity symbol is like the tribal arm band of our day and age.

James Greenaway, Edmonton

One time a guy came to me with a cell from a comic by this artist Justin Hall; it's Freddie Mercury wearing a king's crown and holding a king's robe, beside a big speech bubble saying "Do I see a little silhouetto of a man?" And he has his foot up on a guy, like he just conquered him, who's wearing a ball gag and a butt plug. That one was a little weird but the comic is based towards the gay and lesbian community.

Another really cool one that I did was last year around the Fort McMurray fire. Somebody wanted a Fort Mac Strong [tattoo] to show their pride and I ended up doing Officer Big Mac from McDonalds lifting weights. No text, no nothing, just him lifting weights.

Personally, I have [a tattoo of] Super Mario on a pogo stick with a mushroom cap hat. I also have, you know in Nightmare Before Christmas there was a little toy duck on wheels? I have that tattooed on me. And I actually have a huge thigh piece that's of Hannibal Lecter, the Billy doll from Saw and Alex DeLarge from A Clockwork Orange, and they're all posing together. Honestly, the thing I like about pop culture tattoos is they're already ideas and characters built by someone else and I get to throw my own spin on them.

These interviews have been edited for length and clarity purposes.

Follow Ebony-Renee on Twitter .

15 Aug 10:28

Jared Diamond: Colapso. Por qué unas sociedades perduran y otras desaparecen

by Montuenga
Resultado de imagen de colapso diamond amazonIdioma original: inglés
Título original: Collapse
Año de publicación: 2005
Valoración: Muy recomendable por lo menos



En lo que concierne al futuro del planeta, la disponibilidad de recursos, el cambio climático, la inevitable globalidad de los problemas medioambientales y cuestiones similares parece que la opinión esta polarizada. El sector concienciado manifiesta su preocupación constantemente e intenta sensibilizar al resto.
Necesitamos saber a qué atenernos. En absoluto considero una exageración esas alarmas, pues están bien documentadas y proceden de fuentes fiables, pero incluso los que piensan que apenas tienen fundamento deberían salir de dudas de una vez. Colapso no es un texto de ficción ni un ensayo literario, se trata de una obra científica, extensa, y exhaustivamente documentada, imprescindible –junto a otras– para todo administrador público o para cualquiera que desee opinar con conocimiento de causa.
Su propósito es investigar las causas del colapso de algunas sociedades antiguas –la mayor parte de las cuales desapareció sin dejar rastro– comparándolas con las pautas que impulsaban la gestión medioambiental de las diversas regiones del planeta a mediados de la década anterior.
Diamond es doctor en fisiología y biofísica, ornitólogo, geógrafo, gran viajero, profesor universitario, promotor y colaborador en un sinfín de proyectos sobre el terreno relacionados con biología y geología, tiene en su haber obras divulgativas tan relevantes como Armas, gérmenes y acero (reseñado en este blog) que obtuvo el Pulitzer en 1998, y otras, como El mundo hasta ayer y Sociedades comparadas, a las que merece la pena acercarse antes de que queden obsoletas. Desde luego, no se le puede reprochar falta de rigor, desconocimiento de los asuntos que trata, carecer de una formación científica sólida, capacidad comunicativa o falta de entusiasmo. Al contrario, estamos ante un estudio profundo que contiene una ingente cantidad de apoyaturas científicas y datos de toda índole. Esto, que en absoluto es un defecto, puede pillar desprevenido al lector que esté buscando algo más ligero, pero yo aconsejaría que no se desanimen, no es preciso asumir una lectura exhaustiva de sus casi ochocientas páginas, al menos antes de saber hasta qué punto van a interesarnos. Un análisis de estas características, tan bien estructurado y con clasificaciones tan claras, se puede leer de muchas formas, desde la simple consulta hasta la habitual de principio a fin, pasando por saltarse párrafos o capítulos enteros eligiendo aquellos que más nos interesen.
Variedad hay de sobra. Tras una introducción en la que se analiza la situación actual de una zona muy concreta del estado de Montana (región que el autor tiene en gran estima y cuyos vertiginosos cambios, el enfrentamiento de pareceres entre vecinos que estos provocan y el delicado equilibrio ecológico a que todo ello ha dado lugar se utiliza como término de comparación con datos observados en otros territorios), emprendemos un viaje en el tiempo en una primera parte que repasa algunas sociedades tradicionales desaparecidas por causas diversas, dejando, eso sí, rastros inconfundibles –unas más y otras menos– de los que podemos aprender mucho si somos capaces de descifrarlos. Y si alguien sabe leer las señales que dejaron los antiguos es precisamente el autor.
Esta primera sección consta de cuatro capítulos y, para variar, en lo que respecta a la antigua civilización de la isla de Pascua recurre a indicadores y llega a conclusiones que no tienen nada que ver con los extraterrestres. Otros pueblos cuyos indicios se rastrean son: los mayas, los extinguidos vikingos de Groenlandia –en oposición a los inuits, que subsistieron gracias a la sostenibilidad de sus prácticas– o el Japón de la dinastía Tokugawa (s. XV a XVII) y su triunfo frente a la adversidad.
La tercera parte se enfrenta a la complejidad de algunas sociedades actuales: Ruanda y las causas (evidentes y ocultas) de sus conocidas tragedias, el radicalmente distinto abordaje de los problemas medioambientales dentro una misma isla (ejemplificado por los estados de República Dominicana y Haití), los errores cometidos por China y la celeridad con que se resuelven a veces, sin olvidar las dificultades endémicas de Australia y sus tentativas de un cambio de óptica que anuncian una etapa con bastantes probabilidades de éxito. Comparadas con el grupo anterior, se caracterizan por aportar muchos más datos sobre el presente pero más incertidumbre en relación al futuro. Por fortuna, no todas las amenazas de desastre llegan a consumarse, las sociedades remontan a veces, y al contrario: territorios que, se diría, cuentan con todos los requisitos para llevar una vida próspera van decayendo y acaban por desaparecer por no haber previsto que los recursos se consumen con el tiempo a no ser que se adopten medidas drásticas.
En los capítulos finales, el autor repasa la causas, tanto del colapso final como de los desastres ecológicos parciales –unas son atemporales (como la destrucción de recursos naturales, la superpoblación y la producción o traslado de agentes perjudiciales para un hábitat), otras recientes (la energía, el techo fotosintético, los cambios atmosféricos y la toxicidad de los productos)–, explica su estrecha interrelación, se pregunta si proceden de las dificultades inherentes a una zona concreta o más bien radican en conductas erróneas, extrae conclusiones para afrontar el futuro que le espera al conjunto de los seres humanos y, significativamente, acaba con el epígrafe Razones para la esperanza.
Un trabajo impecable, reconocido por profanos y especialistas, aunque se le ha reprochado cierto sesgo ideológico. Y, efectivamente, no se puede negar que, en lo relativo al presente, Diamond es de alguna forma juez y parte. Siempre que vuelve la vista atrás se muestra objetivo y desapasionado, interesándose solo por las prácticas que resultan beneficiosas o nefastas para el medio, en cambio, cuando se refiere a la actualidad encontramos afirmaciones como mínimo discutibles. Por ejemplo, teniendo en cuenta que la sostenibilidad del planeta tiene unos límites muy precisos, considera el afán de progreso de los países tercermundistas –tanto en su propio terreno como en la tendencia a la inmigración– una amenaza para el bienestar de los más prósperos; ni siquiera plantea una solución justa en forma de decrecimiento de unas zonas a favor del avance de otras. A destacar también su énfasis en la inevitabilidad de que las empresas extractivas prioricen el ánimo de lucro, justificándolo tanto por la necesidad de obtener beneficios como por sus legislaciones auto-protectoras, pero no encontramos la misma indulgencia respecto al conservadurismo medioambiental de los noruegos que se instalaron en Groenlandia hace siglos o hacia las costumbres religiosas que extinguieron en Pascua las reservas de piedra y madera.
Este tipo de estudios se desfasa a gran velocidad, como es lógico. Quiero pensar que Colapso, en su mayor parte, todavía está vigente; aún así, el lector no podrá dejar de preguntarse qué cambios se han producido en los once años transcurridos, en qué sentido, cuál habrá sido la causa y quienes los responsables.


Más obras de Diamond: Armas, gérmenes y acero
15 Aug 10:27

Canciones para fumar (o dejar de hacerlo)

by Grace Morales

Gene Vincent. Imagen: Capitol Records.

Para acompañar la lectura del artículo, nuestra lista en Spotify:

El humo del tabaco se cuela por la música, a pesar de las campañas por la salud y las prohibiciones. Ya no está de moda darle al niño su primer cigarrito tras la primera comunión, y quedaron muy atrás, incluso en los países emergentes, los conciertos patrocinados por una marca de tabaco. Ahora lo de fumar sin remordimientos solo se debe observar en China y quizá en algún estado confederado. Los maxifestivales orientados al turismo únicamente toleran publicidad de marcas de alcohol, ropa y entidades bancarias, con lo que sin duda hemos ganado todos con el cambio. Cuando llega la lenta, el público enarbola el móvil como si fuese el antiguo mechero y el resto del show lo enfoca a través de su pantalla, no del humo. El telefonito ha sustituido el concepto de aventura, vida deportiva (¿?) y sofisticación que antes simbolizaba el cigarro, incluso ese punto de rebeldía egoísta que antes se demostraba con el piti entre los dedos. Pero por mucha tecnología y sostenibilidad, el consumo de tabaco tampoco ha decrecido tanto y no se puede separar de algunos géneros musicales. Hasta la transformación definitiva del artista y su público en un ejército de cíborgs que fume de manera nostálgica y sin riesgo para su sistema operativo, la cantidad de grupos, solistas, vídeos promocionales y canciones que aluden al tabaco siguen ahí, aunque hoy la mayoría de artistas posen en plan pasmarote, con las manos en los bolsillos para la foto promocional. Hay ciertos ejemplos que perderían no solo la gracia, sino la comprensión del personaje y su música. Por ejemplo, si le quitas el cigarrillo a Keith Richards, ¿qué te queda? ¿Un simpático abuelete disfrazado de pirata? Peor: Mick Jagger vestido con ropa deportiva.

Esta es una lista de canciones donde se hace referencia al tabaco, tanto para celebrar el uso, como para condenarlo como hábito pernicioso. Por la intensidad y la brevedad del fumar, que ha acompañado la vida y la cultura modernas hasta que decidieron sancionar su consumo, este acto se compara con las relaciones sentimentales, como metáfora del sexo, así como acompañamiento de la ansiedad, la soledad o la frustración. Por supuesto, también es personaje invitado en las reuniones sociales y fue el símbolo gráfico del individualismo. Hablamos solo de tabaco de fumar (tabaco), no del verde o el que se fuma en plata, que esos tienen su propia y también muy amplia discografía. Tampoco he incluido ejemplos sobre el tabaco en pipa, de mascar, los cigarrillos electrónicos o los vapeadores (sobre estos últimos, esta articulista creía que nadie se habría atrevido a componer una canción, pero sí, la hay, y también sobre los parches de nicotina). Con estas veinte canciones se puede rellenar una cajetilla variada de estilos y épocas, aunque separada en dos tipos. Primero están las que expresan una opinión negativa del tabaco, que he titulado «con filtro». Después, aquellas en las que se usa de forma igualmente irresponsable, pero con intenciones más placenteras, o «sin filtro».

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PAQUETE CON FILTRO

«Smoke, Smoke, Smoke!» – Tex Williams (1947)

Actor y músico del western swing (tardío), Williams compuso junto a Merle Travis esta ironía country, en la línea de otras canciones burlonas que ridiculizaban tanto el hábito de fumar como la persecución de los fumadores. Está interpretada a la velocidad de los clásicos de la edad oro del género, con el acompañamiento de otros músicos que como él, habían sido despedidos de la orquesta de Spade Cooley. Ejemplo del novelty (estilo humorístico y alocado), Williams utiliza el modo talking blues para contar de forma socarrona las cuitas de un sencillo y pacífico joven que odia el tabaco con todas sus fuerzas, harto de que todos interrumpan lo que están haciendo para ponerse a fumar. La canción fue un gran éxito y ha sido versionada en numerosas ocasiones, destacando la de Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen.

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«No puedo fumar» – Ciudad Jardín (1986)

El grupo más injustamente valorado de los ochenta firmó canciones inteligentes y adelantadas a su tiempo, tanto en estilo como contenido. De su segundo elepé, Auténtico, esta espectacular mezcla de soul, funk y pop (una gran producción de José Luis Garrido), en la que Rodrigo de Lorenzo se queja con letra ácida y divertida de las consecuencias físicas de ser fumador, y la condena social del tabaco (y el alcohol). Sobre todo, la emprende contra la moda de la vida sana y el turismo rural, mucho antes de la invasión de las excursiones globales.

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«Cigarettes and Whisky (and Wild Wild Women)» – The Sons Of The Pioneers (1947)

Afligido lamento de barra de bar por las vidas masculinas que siempre son echadas a perder por agentes externos a los hombres virtuosos: el tabaco, el alcohol y, claro, las malas mujeres. La balada fue grabada por el grupo de padres del country Los Hijos de los Pioneros (de Roy Rogers). Luego la han interpretado, con intenciones un poco menos hipócritas y más festivas, cantantes de la talla de Jim Croce, Ramblin´ Jack Elliot o el mismísimo Peter Sellers, imitando lo que ya hizo Groucho Marx, en esta aparición memorable y muy difícil de creer hoy en día, nada menos que en el show de los Teleñecos, con las marionetas echando humo y como achispadas.

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«Es prohibido fumar» – Roberto Carlos (1965)

La carrera conocida en todo el mundo por las baladas románticas del cantautor brasileño comenzó sin embargo en los años sesenta con unos discos formidables de sonido beat y garaje, versiones de éxitos anglosajones y composiciones propias. Entre ellas, esta canción sobre el fuego amoroso disfrazada de aviso contra incendios y malos hábitos. Tiene su versión española, dentro de la recopilación Roberto Carlos canta a la juventud, título coyuntural que suena delicioso, siempre dentro de la peculiar ideología de aquella época, cuando las parejas modernas podían fumar en público, pero no besarse.

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«Don´t smoke in bed» – Peggy Lee (1948)

La mujer abandona al marido mientras este duerme. Junto al anillo deja una nota en la que le recuerda su último cuidado de esposa: «No fumes en la cama». En esos pocos versos se resume una delicada historia de despedida, que sorprendió en su momento al público. La interpretó la compositora Peggy Lee, en un reflejo de su matrimonio fracasado con el guitarrista Dave Barbour, y años después reclamó su autoría, hasta entonces atribuida al escritor Willard Robinson. La han versionado distintas intérpretes, como Nina Simone en su disco de debut. Fumar en la cama entraña muchos peligros, que se lo digan al pobre Steve Marriot.

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«Castle On The Hill» – Ed Sheeran (2017)

La estrella del pop británico ha reconocido ser fumador hasta hace pocos meses, cuando anunció en público que lo dejaba, como quien emite un parte médico. En su corta carrera se ha referido al tabaco en varias canciones, como en «Wake Me Up», de su disco de debut, donde ya luchaba contra el hábito. En esta en particular hace un emotivo resumen de la vida durante la infancia y reciente adolescencia en su pueblo, con los amigos, las primeras novias, las latas de cerveza y los cigarros de liar. Old school del siglo XXI.

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«The Cigarette Duet» – Princess Chelsea (2011)

Un tema que llegó a hacerse popular por el vídeo, que podría pasar por un anuncio de una aplicación para el móvil. La cantante indie Princess Chelsea debutaba en solitario con esta canción, donde discute por su consumo de cigarrillos con Jonathan Bree, líder de su antiguo grupo, The Brunettes. Es un vals elegante y gélido, estilo Nancy Sinatra-Lee Hazelwood, que esconde dobles significados, otras adicciones y amenazas de violencia física. La chica promete que no volverá a fumar, pero ya ha recaído y él no se lo cree. Tabaco y hipsters

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«My Last Cigarette» – k. d. lang (1997)

Este es un ejemplo lleno de imaginación, el que se utilizan los símbolos que sugiere el uso del tabaco (las adicciones sentimentales, el amor, las rupturas, el sexo, etc.) para un elepé completo de versiones clásicas, pero sin ser la intérprete fumadora. La voz única de k.d. lang grababa en 1997 el disco Drag. Aparecía en la portada simulando que fumaba, pero sin llevar un cigarro entre los dedos. De entre todas, he escogido esta gran versión que hace de un tema de Boo Hewerdine.

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«Guns and cigarettes» – Atmosphere (2001)

No se trata de otra canción más sobre las bondades/maldades del tabaco, sino una de las declaraciones más divertidas e inteligentes que ha escrito un artista de hip hop. Subrayando un sample irresistible, el rapero Slug caricaturiza los tópicos del género y pone en evidencia la triste realidad: sí, te crees que te vas convertir en una megaestrella, más importante que las dos empresas punteras de Estados Unidos, la de las armas y el tabaco (y de paso, Jesucristo, los Beatles, ¡y los implantes de pecho!), pero seguirás siendo un pringado.

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«Nicotine Stain» – Siouxsie and The Banshees (1978)

Al igual que Bette Davis, de Siouxsie sabemos que no solo es fumadora, sino que ha llegado a reconocer que en las ocasiones que lo intentó dejar ha sentido que su salud empeoraba. Incluso afirma que su voz es más potente gracias a los cigarrillos. En el primer elepé del grupo, The Scream, cantaba sobre este primer intento, o mejor dicho, la simple constatación del hecho de fumar y sus consecuencias. La letra es lo suficientemente descriptiva de los estragos físicos del tabaco y que te da lo mismo, cuando eres una criatura portentosa del arte y la naturaleza.

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PAQUETE SIN FILTRO

«Smokin In The Boy´s Room» – Brownswille Station (1973)

Esconderse de los profesores a echar un cigarro en el baño del colegio es (o era) un tema universal, que reflejó el trío de Detroit en uno de sus escasos éxitos, tras ser incluido en la banda sonora de Rock´n´Roll High School (1979), la película protagonizada por los Ramones. En plenos años setenta, la era de los sonidos adultos, compartían con ellos temas adolescentes, incluso se adelantaron a los de Nueva York en su elepé del 74 con la portada de School Punks (bueno, solo en la imagen). Más tarde, Mötley Crüe la hicieron todavía más popular.

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«Fumando espero» – Sara Montiel (1957)

Un tango de 1922, compuesto por los músicos catalanes Juan Viladomat y Félix Garzo, fue originalmente interpretado por orquestas argentinas con solista masculino. Después lo grabarían artistas del cuplé, la Bella Dorita y Ramoncita Rovira en Barcelona, y estrellas de la canción, Libertad Lamarque en México. Pero la canción se haría una tema universal, gracias a la voz y la presencia incomparable de Sara Montiel, en su película homenaje a este género El último cuplé, aunque con un corte de la censura en la letra que quería ocultar el por otra parte evidente homenaje al cigarrillo que se fuma (o se fumaba) tras el acto sexual.

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«Gracias, tabaco» – Javier Krahe (1993)

Abundando en este tema, esta apología del tabaco del fumador que fue su gran intérprete y compositor. «Y otro cigarro, que aún no es el de después, por eso mismo lo destaco». El genio de Krahe resume de manera brillante, en el corte de su disco Sacrificio de Dama, una relación amorosa entendida como campo de batalla en torno al teléfono, el encendedor y un cenicero, con los cigarrillos de antes y de después, sugiriendo un divertido, pero crudo paralelismo, con la dependencia de una sustancia tóxica.

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«Dieu fumeur de Havanes» – Serge Gainsbourg y Catherine Deneuve (1980)

Gainsbourg, otro fumador empedernido, lleva al límite la relación entre amor y tabaco en esta balada grandiosa, pues afirma que el mismísimo Dios es aficionado a los puros habanos. Al acompañarse de Catherine Deneuve para recitar la letra, la canción es una sublimación de la belleza a través de las espirales del humo. No es el único tema que el músico dedicó al placer de fumar. Jane Birkin cantaba en su disco de 1978 Ex Fan De Sixties una versión del éxito de Captain & Tenille, «Love Will Keep Us Together», rebautizado por Gainsbourg como «Nicotine». Las dos grabaciones en vídeo resultan hoy alucinantes.

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«Pasé la noche fumando» – Willie Colón y Héctor Lavoe (1983)

Beber y fumar como antídoto contra el desamor, un recurso que se practica con frecuencia, aunque se sabe que no funciona muy bien. La última colaboración de los dos colosos de Fania para la banda sonora de Vigilante incluía este doloroso reconocimiento, dentro de una espléndida colección de canciones que sirvió para recuperar a Lavoe del abismo de las drogas y otros fantasmas. Contiene frases para la posteridad en el muro de la incorrección, como «Sé que tengo fama de mujeriego, que no dejo escapar ninguna mujer, pero contigo es distinto, porque te quiero».

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«Cigarettes and Coffee» – Otis Redding (1966)

La combinación tabaco y café ha dado resultados memorables en la cultura popular, como el corto de Jim Jarmusch de los años ochenta, una escena entre Iggy Pop y Tom Waits que es el resumen de una generación (ya perdida), y canciones como esta, que se incluía en el cuarto disco del maestro, The Soul Album. Redding rinde una confesión en cuerpo y alma al amor en horas intempestivas, sobre un estilo que también ha quedado como objeto de admiración de otra época.

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«Cigarette Blues» – Bo Carter (1936)

Más que como enaltecimiento del acto de fumar, el blues utilizó el tabaco para cantar a lo sicalíptico. Los cigarrillos eran demasiado finos y sobre todo, caros, habiendo wacky tobacco y otras sustancias estupefacientes (el country sí se ocupó de relacionar tabaco y pobreza, como en «Twenty Cigarettes», de Little Jimmy Dickens, en la que el joven protagonista va a la cárcel por robar un paquete de cigarrillos, o ese famoso «King of The Road», de Roger Miller, la historia del vagabundo que no tiene nada, ni para tabaco). Pero Bo Carter, el rey del dirty blues y legendario guitarrista del Delta, utilizaba el cigarrillo como obvia metáfora del sexo (masculino), en una de las muchas canciones de contenido explícito que grabó. Carter invita a la chica a que fume su cigarrillo y lo haga cenizas, advirtiendo que este no es muy grande ni muy largo…

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«Que corra la nicotina» – Siniestro Total (1984)

«Fuma negro, sucio blanco». El repertorio del grupo vigués, que las más jóvenes escuchábamos en su momento de forma despreocupada y con un punto inconsciente, se ha convertido hoy en material altamente subversivo sin pretenderlo ellos ni nosotras. Esta aguda canción, de su tercer elepé, Menos mal que nos queda Portugal, sobre los «bondades» del tabaco nacional frente al americano, no pasaría el corte de ninguna cadena de televisión. Aunque, por otra parte, ¿qué televisión emite música?

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«Three Cigarettes in an Ashtray» – Patsy Cline (1957)

Como la canción de Peggy Lee, en pocos versos asistimos a una escena de corazones rotos, típica de las grandes vocalistas del mundo country pop. En sus grabaciones para Decca, la malograda Cline dejó esta conmovedora historia de romance, infidelidad y abandono, simbolizada en los cigarrillos del cenicero: primero hay dos, los de una pareja fumando. Luego se suma el tercer cigarrillo de la extraña que viene a reclamar a su pareja «oficial». Por último, solo queda uno. El de la protagonista, que se consume, solo.

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«Cigarrito» – Platero y Tú (2000)

El tabaco sirve aquí para hablar también de una ruptura, pero no de pareja, sino profesional. Fito despide a su primer grupo con este rocanrol enérgico y pegadizo, en su estilo inconfundible, aunque suena a canción muy famosa de un grupo irlandés de los años sesenta. Un cigarrito para hacer balance del pasado y empezar una nueva carrera, igualmente aclamada. «Es mejor, que si no, no me entero».

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La entrada Canciones para fumar (o dejar de hacerlo) aparece primero en Jot Down Cultural Magazine.

11 Aug 11:48

‘Love in Hell 1’, descerebrado divertimento

by Sergio Benítez

Dediquemos estas primeras líneas a aplaudir la valentía de los muchachos de Fandogamia, que después de casi una década dando bandazos y publicando a salto de mata, han decidido agarrar el toro por los cuernos y hacer que este 2017 sea el año en que se den a conocer con argumentos de peso a los compradores de cómics que siempre estamos ojo avizor ante cualquier blasón nuevo que nos traiga títulos de allende nuestras fronteras de esos que las otras muchas propuestas editoriales de esta piel de toro se dejan, por la imposibilidad obvia de abarcarlo todo.

Y si bien podríamos haber comenzado por sus dos novedades más atractivas —‘Giant Days’ y ‘Los Cazafantasmas’— hemos decidido que la primera reseña que les vamos a dedicar a los chicos de Valencia sea este alocado y por momentos hilarante manga que es ‘Love in Hell’: con una portada que ya anuncia de forma nada disimulada por dónde van a ir parte de los tiros del discurrir de la acción —a fin de cuentas, chica medio en cuero y cómic nipón sólo pueden resultar en una cosa— la serie de Reiji Suzumaru comienza con uno de sus dos personajes centrales muriendo y yendo a parar al infierno. Con tan enérgico comenzar —que, por cierto, sólo lleva un par de páginas al artista japonés—, lo que viene después es, como da a entender el titular de la entrada, un festival de diversión descerebrada.

Quizás me equivoque y con el tiempo ‘Love in Hell’ discurra por senderos más sesudos, pero apostaría a que la única pretensión de esta suerte de versión infernal de ‘Video Girl Ai’ —no son pocos los momentos que recuerdan al titulo de Masakazu Katsura— es hacernos reír, si es posible a mandíbula batiente y cuanto más tiempo, mejor. Y lo consigue. Puede que no en todos los instantes que lo intenta. Pero lo consigue. Y lo hace por una sabia combinación entre chistes descontextualizados, sinergias entre personajes, el típico humor físico que tanto gusta a los japoneses, altas dosis de erotismo que llevan directas a situaciones humorísticas y, en términos generales, por ofrecer una historia de chico encuentra chica en un marco que, al menos hasta donde la memoria alcanza, nunca había sido explorado de esta forma. Si a ello unimos un dibujo resultón —y algo más cuando así lo quiere Suzumaru— tenemos en ‘Love in Hell’ un manga a descubrir.

Love in Hell 1

  • Autores: Reiji Suzumaru
  • Editorial: Fandogamia
  • Encuadernación: Rústica
  • Páginas: 152 páginas
  • Precio: 33,25 euros
10 Aug 00:24

En français, mais quel français ?

by andrewesque
Français de nos régions. A website (100% in French) that looks at variations in French as spoken in France (and within France), Belgium, Switzerland, Quebec and Canada, and in the French-speaking Caribbean. It discusses and maps issues such as whether that chocolate-filled pastry is called a pain au chocolat or chocolatine, the word used for "mobile phone", how "80" is actually spoken in Belgium and Switzerland , Germanisms found in Swiss French such as stempf or poutzer, which regions of France pronounce the final letters in persil, encens, moins and vingt, and so on.

Data comes from university research studies and is accompanied by some commentary. The authors are university professors or professional linguists.
09 Aug 22:34

What the fuck did Guy Fieri ever do to anyone?

by DirtyOldTown
08 Aug 08:37

BABY SHAKES - Turn it Up

by noreply@blogger.com (ratboy69)

BABY SHAKES are an amazing Power pop/Glam/Rock'n'roll quartet hailing from New York city. The band is featuring Mary: lead vocals/guitar, Judy: lead guitar/backing vocals, Claudia: bass/backing vocals, Ryan: drums.

A few weeks ago the band released their third full length, the aptly titled "TURN IT UP". Without any doubt, this is their best work so far and on this new record the group delivers infectious harmonies and high energy rock'n'roll songs that stick in your head for days!

So it was time for this blog to have a little chat with this nice bunch of people. 

Girls, we would like you to tell the viewers of this blog the full story of BABY SHAKES. The origins of the band, who is playing what, how did you meet, what happened for you since your first release "The First One"; We want to hear it all from you!


Judy and Claudia met at a punk show at CBGB’s when they were teenagers. They both had studded jackets, pink/blue hair and collected UK ‘82 and ‘77 punk singles so it made sense that they’d become good friends. They used to jam out to Johnny Thunders and the Heartbreakers songs together in their living rooms. A friend of ours (the artist Avi Spivak) knew that we were looking for band mates so when Mary moved to NY from Seattle he introduced us at his DJ night. She liked the same kind of music and we used to make mix CDs for each other when we first met. We all got along so well and when we heard Mary sing we knew it was the perfect style for the kind of music we wanted to play and she played guitar too. As for Ryan… well we’ve had many drummers in the past but he was definitely the missing puzzle piece. We met him through friends when we needed a drummer for our show with Protex.

About your latest full length "Turn It Up", I can hear a tougher/more powerful and more glam orientated sound (I love that!) do you agree and is this a direction you are definitely aiming for?

It wasn’t the goal when we were writing the songs but it just kind of happened that way so we went with it. We realized the mood was tougher after we heard the full album. During the recording and mixing process we tried to go for a more raw sound closer to our first two 45's.


To what kind of music did you listen to as teenager girls and does it still influence your today work? What was your favorite band as a teenagers? Name 3 bands that you consider still have a influence on your own work today.


Mary: Slade, The Ronettes, MC5


Judy: The Boys, Cocksparrer, The Beatles


Ryan: The Adverts, Motörhead, The Damned 


Claudia: Ramones, Bowie, The Cars







Is there a main composer in the band or is everybody involved in one way or another?

Everyone is involved in the song writing process.


What is your favorite topic/topic that comes easily when you write a new song?

Having fun!!


Is there any video made to promote one of the songs of the albums? 

We shot a music video for Do What You Want this past March during our Japanese tour. It was filmed in Tokyo at Shelter by Mike Rogers and his awesome crew. You can see the video here: 


We also have a really great idea for the next music video that we’re currently working on. Stay tuned!!


What can concert goers expect at a BABY SHAKES gig? Are you playing any famous cover songs? 


We try to really have fun onstage and get people dancing with us. Tequila is the 5th Baby Shakes so we love it when people bring us shots while we play!!!

We mostly play our own material but we’ve got a good amount of covers that we work into our sets for different shows. The Scientists, The Boys, The Undertones, The Starjets and Zero Boys are some of our favorites.


Is there a new rock'n' roll scene in New York these days and are there any other bands you are feeling close to?

There’s a bunch of bands always popping up in the NY scene and some that have been playing around for a while. Some of our favorites are Daddy long Legs, Dirty Fences, and Wyldlife.


What are the plans for 2017? Are BABY SHAKES coming over to Europe soon?

Yes!! We’ve got shows coming up with Flamin’ Groovies and we’re playing with the BOMP band ‘B’ Girls and two amazing Japanese bands in September (The Fadeaways and The Mellvins). We’re also playing a killer show in Puerto Rico with Los Tom Toms, Ardillas and Los Vigilantes plus the Growlers Festival 6 in L.A. this October. We’re working on a Euro tour for the end of the year and we plan to play in Europe, Scandinavia and the UK in 2018. Hopefully we get to play some more awesome festivals next year. We always have fun at festivals. Especially in the summer!


Anything you want to add?
Burger Records just released the cassette version of our new album, Turn It Up. We can’t wait to get back to Europe! If anyone out there has any info on festivals or wants to book us please contact jonk@alleycat.se or us directly at babyshakes@babyshakes.com.




You can purchase all the goodies here
07 Aug 23:53

Being Lonely Is Really, Really Bad For You

by Jesse Hicks

Researchers have long known that loneliness can have negative health effects, from disrupted sleep to increased risk of heart disease; it also seems to be on the rise, reaching what some experts call "epidemic levels." New research, presented at the 125th Annual Convention of the American Psychological Association, suggests that loneliness and social isolation in the United States may be a greater public health threat than obesity—its effects are likely to grow as the population ages.

"Being connected to others socially is widely considered a fundamental human need—crucial to both well-being and survival. Extreme examples show infants in custodial care who lack human contact fail to thrive and often die, and indeed, social isolation or solitary confinement has been used as a form of punishment," Julianne Holt-Lunstad, professor of psychology at Brigham Young University, said in a statement. Researchers consider loneliness akin to hunger and thirst: It's an aversive cue that something is wrong. "Yet an increasing portion of the US population now experiences isolation regularly," she said.

Just how much that portion has increased remains a tricky question to answer. The most recent US census data show that more than a quarter of the population lives alone, more than half is unmarried, and the number of children per household is on the decline. John Cacioppo, who studies loneliness at the University of Chicago, cites various studies from the 1970s and 1980s suggesting that the percentage of Americans who regularly or frequently felt lonely was between 11 and 20 percent. He also points to the AARP's 2010 Loneliness Study, which found that 35 percent of Americans aged 45 or older were categorized as lonely, while his own longitudinal studies put the number at around 26 percent.

To help understand what's happening to all those lonely people, Holt-Lunstad presented data from a pair of meta-analyses; her research has not been published in a peer-reviewed journal. The first review encompassed 148 studies, including more than 300,000 participants. Greater social connection, it found, was associated with a 50 percent reduction in the risk of early death. The second study collated data from 70 studies involving more than 3.4 million participants, mostly from North America, but with some from Europe, Asia, and Australia. It found that social isolation, loneliness, and living alone (which more Americans are doing) all have significant and equal effects on the risk of premature death. In fact, the effect is on par with or greater than other risk factors such as obesity.

"There is robust evidence that social isolation and loneliness significantly increase risk for premature mortality, and the magnitude of the risk exceeds that of many leading health indicators," Holt-Lunstad said.

The challenge now is what to do about it. She suggested devoting more resources to understanding the problem, as well as emphasizing the importance of social connectedness among everyone from schoolchildren to soon-to-be retirees. (And, no, Facebook and Instagram aren't enough.) In other words, it's a society-wide concern that'll require large-scale solutions. No one's going to fix loneliness alone.

Read This Next: Loneliness Is Making Our Political Situation Worse

07 Aug 23:52

The Illustrated Truth About Dating Someone Younger

by Zeon Santos

Age difference shouldn't, and often doesn't, make much of a difference in a relationship, and aside from generational differences such as how we were raised and our interests we're all more alike than we care to admit.

But the older you get the harder it is to date younger people without feeling like you're with someone who just got their learner's permit while you're about to qualify for an AARP discount.

These cute and totally relatable comic strips by Cassandra Calin reveal the truth about dating someone younger- age is nothing but a number when your partner makes life feel fun again!

-Via CollegeHumor

07 Aug 23:44

Conmoción en Argentina por el suicidio de una adolescente en medio de clase

"Chau, mierdas. Dejo un juego en la mochila, el que lo encuentre se lo queda", escribió la adolescente en una nota de despedida.

07 Aug 23:01

NSFW Photos of Berlin's Hedonistic Nightlife

by Thomas Vorreyer

This article originally appeared on VICE Germany.

From ravers sucking spaghetti off one another, to live alpacas strutting around the club—there's hardly a part of Berlin nightlife that Jesús Pastor hasn't caught on camera. Over the past seven years, the photographer has roamed Berlin's most hedonistic parties to document its "animals of the night," as he likes to call them. "In Berlin, people are really awake at night," he tells me.

Pastor started in 2010, by capturing the hazy after parties of the Berlin International Film Festival. Soon, his reputation got him and his camera access to the kind of events that traditionally ban photography—like parties in the King Size Bar (famously tiny and hard to get in) or the House of Red Doors at the Wilde Renate nightclub, which its organizers describe using the key words "sex, hedonism, escapism, and exuberance."

Jesús Pastor's latest series, Wild Wolves, brings together his best photos showcasing the hedonistic glory of Berlin after dark. He tells me that what he likes about Berlin nights is that people there have almost no taboos. "You can smell the freedom from every corner," he says.

Scroll down to see photos from Jesús Pastor's Wild Wolves.

07 Aug 22:55

This Is Why You Should Stay Single, Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type

by Jennifer Meade
Happy Single Girl
rawpixel

Hi friends, to play this game we all need to take the Myers Briggs personality test I promise it will be worth it, or at least entertaining. There are 4 types of personality groups : Diplomats, Analysts, Sentinels, finally but definitely not least the Explorers. The Diplomats are the dreamers, the Analysts are the thinkers, the Sentinels please everyone, and the Explorers live to “seize the day”. We are also divided by the personality code. The personality code reads like so, I for introversion or E for extroversion, N for intuition or S for sensing, T for thinking or F for feeling, J for judging or P for perceiving.

ENFP – Don’t Go Back To Your Ex – Diplomat

ENFPs those hopeless dreamers gotta love em. ENFPs have a tendency to let their past haunt them. They are very nostalgic and live for their memories. The tighter they hold onto the past, the harder it is to let go. Their memories can make it difficult for ENFPs to move on, thus they can struggle with letting someone new in. ENFPs are known to romanticize everything. Their rose-coloured glasses can often confuse fact from fiction.

ENFPs are deep thinkers and immensely understanding. Although those are two great qualities, they can easily get manipulated.

ENFPs are always trying to rationalize everything. They are always giving their partner the benefit of the doubt, when they should be just giving them the boot. ENFPs are undyingly hopeful, which is why their ex is always allowed back in. ENFPs I know you want it to be” different this time”, but trust me it won’t be. Give up on the past fantasy of “us” and chase a new dream boy.

ESFP- Stop Being A Yes Man – Explorer

ESFPs we love that you are “down for whatever”, but are you actually going to come through? ESFPs are the Explorer type which also makes them the escapist type. You are always on the search for your next adventure. You say “yes” to everything before actually checking your schedule. You tend to overbook yourself. For lack of a better word, you can sometimes be a “flop”.

You have this amazing/annoying way of making everyone feel special. You get us all excited about something, then you cancel and let us down. I get it.. you didn’t mean it. You really wanted to go to Vegas with us this weekend, but you forgot you already had concert tickets. Stay single until you can stop making excuses.

INTP- Stop Hinting, And Just Say “I Like You” – Analyst

We get it you are an “introvert”. You are very selective with your company. You prefer to keep your nose stuck in a book, rather than being the life of the party. You are a wallflower by choice… but you seriously could be a catch! Instead of spending countless hours researching, start living!

Spend the proper time on a potential partner and not a potential project for once. INTPs are the most logical personality type, but love is anything but logical. Stay single until you start reading more feelings and less facts.

INTPs hate making the first move. They have many ideas about how to approach you, but they usually chicken out. Stop analyzing and start doing.

INTPs tend to hint or give their partner clues, that they are into them. INTPs are not known to be risk-takers. They would rather you figure it out that they like you, rather than just telling you. The heavy hinting is their way to protect themselves from rejection. Stay single until you are ready to admit your feelings and stop hiding!

ESFJ – Not Everyone Is Your “Picture Perfect Girl” – Sentinel

ESFJ you make great partners you really do…. but not everyone can be as perfect as you. ESFJs highly value their social circle more than any other personality type. It is great if you want to support us, by coming to every single soccer game, and picking up our little sister after school. We love that you can so easily fit into our lives…. but do not be upset if we can not do exactly the same.

We get it your friends are important, your family is important, your social circle is important, however not everyone can fit in as perfectly as you can. Of course we will make an effort with the people in your lives, but that doesn’t mean we will become besties with all of them. We will always try….but our social validation is not our worth.

ESFJs pride on being accepted and they want their partner to be loved not just by them, but by everyone else in their life. ESFJs are looking for the girl next door and the white picket fence that comes with her. ESFJ stay single until you can put someone above your social validation!

ENFJ- Do Not Lose Yourself For Someone Else – Diplomat

ENFJ the best thing about you is your authenticity. Do not lose that! You are a people pleaser which is cute. You want peace over conflict, which is normal for a Diplomat. Yet you tend to let your partner get away with bloody murder. You can not just sweep your problems under the rug and hope they will go away. I know you hate this….but you need confrontation. I know it is a scary word, but truth of the matter is it is the only way.

Those problems you hide only get bigger, the longer you keep them hidden. You have to remember everyone is just human. We are not mind readers. We can not know if we are hurting you, if you do not tell us.

It sounds simple, but it is the little things that matter. Do not let small things snowball. A lot of “it’s fine” will eventually turn into “good bye”. If you confront the problem head on you can minimize it sooner rather than later. Little problems turn into deal breakers when they are not resolved in a timely fashion.

ENFJs stay single until you can face your fear of confrontation. You deserve more than to be a doormat. You are worth more than that, know that.

ESTP- Stop Right Now, I Need Somebody With A Human Touch – Explorer

ESTPs we can never keep up with you! While you are the fools rush in type, not everyone can be as daring as you. ESTPs are confident and can dive right in emotionally and physically pretty quickly.

ESTPs can be a tad confusing. They are known to send mixed signals. Ironically ESTPs are the most straight up, out of any other personality types.

Although people tend to factor out that ESTPs can emotional disconnect, but can still physically connect.While most personality types struggle with this ESTPs know what’s what and what’s good, however their partner may not always know….

ESTPs are that bad boy you want to to turn good, but no one can change an ESTP’s mind once it is made up. ESTPs are unconventional and can dive into a physical relationship with no strings attached, and function completely normally….lucky them. Not everyone is as secure and confident as you ESTP.

ESTP stay single until you can find someone that is cool with your situation. Don’t look for someone that wants different things than you do, they will only get hurt trying to change your current situation. We both know you won’t change for anyone ESTP!

ENTJ- People Are Not Projects – Analyst

ENTJ you are enthusiastic, ambitious, and hardworking which is great! You are so motivated, naturally you want your partner to be motivated too. ENTJs tend to make anything into a project. They love to train people. You find personal satisfaction in helping someone else succeed. At the same time you are also disappointed….if they fail. ENTJs like to mould someone into their perfect partner.

This is a dominant personality type and they like to take control. You set goals, plans, and rewards, but a girlfriend is not a pet you can train. Your partner can become afraid of you, if they are scared to disappoint you. Contrary to Machiavelli’s belief “it is NOT better to be feared than loved”. ENTJs we know you demand respect, but earn love do not force it.

ENTJs are known for their brutal honesty. Their harsh cold truth can help you in the long run, but in the meantime it can be a hard pill to swallow. ENTJs stay single until you know the difference between constructive criticism and plain old mean.

ISFJ – Break Down Your Walls – Sentinel

ISFJs are natural caregivers. They believe the home is where the heart is….but it can take a long time to build that home. ISFJs are not one to trust easily. They proceed with caution and slowly. ISFJs take dating seriously, which is great. Yet sometimes you have to try a couple of flavours before you pick out your favourite ice cream.

Life is about experiences. There is no questioning that. Everything is trial and error. You have to fall, to fall in love. Sometimes you need to break down, so someone can make you whole. ISFJs are always the ones keeping it together for everyone else. They need to learn to let someone else pick up the pieces for once.

ISFJs can become committed quickly…sometimes they settle too quickly. ISFJs stay single, because there is more out there than you know! Give more people a chance, before settling down so soon! There are many fish in the sea, get to know a few of them before mating for life.

INFP – Step Down From Your Pedestal Stool – Diplomat

The Diplomats are known to be the dreamers of the personality types. INFPs are fixated on this “idea” of who they want their partner to be, rather than who they really are. INFPs need to stop comparing their partners to a fantasy. No one can live up to someone who is not real.

INFPs can be perfectionists. They are extremely picky not just with a partner, but with everything. They see quality over quantity. INFPs live their life for value. INFPs don’t settle and they should not…but they could learn how to compromise.

INFPs should stay single, until they learn to make a little wiggle room. Not everyone will be perfect, there is so much beauty in imperfection if you can just give it a chance.

ISFP- Not The Planner Type – Explorer

If you are the type of person who colour coordinates their closet and makes an itinerary for their vacations….you are probably not the type for an ISFP. In true explorer nature ISFP lives for the moments. All this premature planning can leave an ISFP running. An ISFP needs to fall in love naturally. ISFP can struggle with structure, which can make serious relationships difficult.

ISFP can be difficult to read. While they love experiencing everything they are still an introvert. ISFPs are still quite guarded. They prefer to listen over talk. Sometimes it can feel like pulling teeth to ask them what they really want. Not only are ISFPs a natural quiet introvert, but they are also an unorganized Explorer. This combination is a deathly type for making plans.

ISFP stay single until you find someone that intrigues your Explorer self enough to stay interested, and someone interesting enough to make your introvert self open up!

ENTP- Throw Away The Schedule – Analyst

ENTPs are big on self-improvement, which is awesome! Analyst types can be so focused on projects, they can neglect to see the bigger picture. They tend to focus more on planning rather than actually living.

ENTPs like to push their partners to greatness, but sometimes this encouragement can be confused as pressure. We love that you have planned our whole Euro trip 4 months in advance. Not everyone loves planning as much as Analyst types, so you have relieved some of the planning stress….thanks for that. However it might be cool, sometimes to just see where the wind takes us?

ENTPs can focus too greatly on being factually correct, they can overlook their partner’s emotional response. You may be right ENTP, but can you take a second to understand our point of view too? Just for once. We love your thrive, this is one of the reasons we fell for you in the first place. Yet not everyone runs on the same speed. Give us a second to catch up, give us a second to breathe.

ISTJ- Throw Caution To The Wind- Sentinel

ISTJ you are the most devoted of the bunch. When you commit you are instant wifey material. However… you are only young once. Spread your wings a bit and become a social butterfly. As amazing as your dedication is, truth of the matter is not every single person you meet is amazing…. and most of them do not deserve you. Take the time to date, before just settling down with the wrong partner. You are such an amazing support system, just choose to pick up the right people.

ISTJ is a T for thinker over F for feeler. Yes ISTJs are great communicators, but that is when their partner is vocal about their feelings. ISTJ’s are not the best at picking up emotional cues. If you want an answer with an ISTJ, you need to be straight with them. Beating around the bush, will just create a tangled web.

ISTJs are very traditional and value family. They are known to be trustworthy partners. ISTJs you are steady, but stay single if you want to stay boring. ISTJs need to learn how to step out of their comfort zones a bit. Not every date needs to be Netflix and you making dinner…not that we do not love your cooking. Please never stop cooking for us, we take all of this back.

INFJ – I Don’t Want Easy, I Want Crazy – Diplomat

INFJs are a picky bunch! Unlike other people it is not a checklist or a resume they value in a partner, but a feeling. F for feeling over T for thinking. INFJs value emotions over logic with love. While all the facts may not add up if INFJ has a feeling about you, you’re in. They value that “just know” feeling over anything else. You could be thousands of miles apart, but if you are it they will just know.

INFJs crave that connection more than any other personality type. That “in love” high feeling is the most important aspect of their relationship. They’re can be a lot of deal breakers in a relationship, but passion is not one of them for an INFJ.

At the same time INFJ can be a tad too picky! They may write you off too soon if they do not immediately “feel” something with you. Connections can take time INFJ. Do not jump to say no, if it isn’t love at first sight. Sometimes the best loves can slowly grow from friendships. It does not always need to be an epic romance, for it to be romantic. INFJs stay single until you can be patient with forming a proper connection. Not everything happens right away. Just because it isn’t electricity at first, does not mean it can not turn into fire.

ISTP – Stop Using Sex, To Avoid Talking- Explorer

This ain’t what she meant when she said she wanted you to “open up” more. ISTPs can be very unemotional at times. It is quite easy for them to emotional check out, but be physical intimate. Beware these are the bad boys your mother warned you about. ISTPs are poor communicators. They may not be into you anymore, but they will still reap the sexual benefits out of this relationship. ISTPs will also not tell you how they are actually feeling, they will just assume you know. Because we are all psychic? RIGHT.

ISTPs do have feelings, I know they do. You are not a robot, I promise. It is just your feelings are so tightly guarded. No one can breakthrough that great wall of insecurity. Especially anyone who is actively trying…that most likely will push an ISTP further away. ISTP believe in moment by moment living. It must be a natural progression, that is the only way a successful relationship will work with them.

ISTP stay single, until you can emotionally communicate with something more than just sex. We deserve that.

INTJ- Stop Being So Calculated – Analyst

Again the T for thinking over F for feeling problems arise. Thinkers you are extremely logical and rationale, and us Feelers could really use some of that common sense sometimes! However….your social skills could use some work! Not everyone is going to vocalize how they feel about you. There is something about the unsaid in body language. You just feel it, you CAN NOT always explain it.

INTJ are so calculated they excel in almost any goal they set for themselves, but love could be the exception. INTJ you are actually the best when you are not trying too hard! I know this sounds simple INTJ, but stay single until you are ready to just be yourself! When you stop playing games love becomes real.

ESTJ- Hold My Hand – Sentinel

Most Sentinels are known to be the supportive personality type. While ESTJ is helpful in so many ways, they are not the most affectionate. It’s cool if it is not your thing. I also find it super weird when people can not stop smiling. However a little PDA with your partner won’t kill you.

Relationships are about compromise, you are not going to always date someone exactly like you. If you are currently dating someone exactly like you, I am really jealous hold onto to them…. but most of us are not that lucky.

ESTJ even if you think romance or poetry is silly, just humour us okay. Nobody likes someone who laughs at their dreams. We know we can always count on you for a reality check, but life is about more than just being realistic. We are looking for a partner that can make our dreams come true, not someone who just stomps all over them. TC mark

07 Aug 22:45

Exposition Paintings, Bad Hugs, and Missed Opportunity Dominates Thrones

by Jess

With the fourth episode of the seventh season of Game of Thrones, The Spoils of War”, we are officially over half way through the season. This halfway point was definitely the best of the four episodes, but for a season that’s struggling to even hold my attention and is so poorly written, that’s not exactly the hardest of accomplishments to achieve. It was also the quickest paced, and the battle sequence that the world won’t stop talking about went by quite fast. But in terms of actual character moments, complexity, depth, or just plain comprehensiveness, it was up there with the rest of the season in its lack thereof.

WINTERFELL

Robot Bran is back with a vengeance as Littlefinger tries to…I actually don’t know what Littlefinger is trying to do here. He’s sitting with Bran, who is not responsive to Littlefinger, who is telling the young robot about how much he loved his mother. As a present (maybe? Fuck it, I don’t know), he gives Bran the dagger that the cutthroat tried to kill him with in season one. Yes, we are picking up that thread again several seasons too late, but when you’re wheel spinning and running out of material, why not pull from the past? For one, I don’t really know how Littlefinger got in possession of the knife because I’m pretty sure Ned had it last, but I guess we can just assume after Ned’s death he could have easily taken it. But, sense cannot be made as to why he’s doing it.

“You’re wheeling him. I’ve got a strict ten feet away rule I’m enforcing after last week.”

If he knows Bran is all-seeing, which he doesn’t seem to until Bran delivers the infamous “Chaos is a ladder,” line to him to shock him, then surely he wouldn’t want to give him a piece of information that would spark him to look back into the past. Is he under the impression Bran would appreciate his would-be-murder weapon? Not to mention these two had no interaction last week. Where is this coming from? Littlefinger soliloquizes that “In a way, that dagger made you what you are today,” as he presents him with this Valyrian steel blade full of bad memories. But Littlefinger is mistaken! That dagger did not lead to Robot Bran! Nothing led to Robot Bran. He just came out of nowhere.

Also Jaime’s push and Lysa’s letter after the death of Jon Arryn actually started it all, the dagger just prompted them looking into all of that. So my dude, you started this bullshit and you want to point this all-seeing exposition robot to specifically revisit that time? Why?

Meera interrupts this weird session still in the same clothes she arrived in and announces she’s ditching this weird mean robot kid to be with her family when the world ends instead. Robot Bran just continues to be an asshole by simply thanking her for helping him with no emotion, leaving all she had done and sacrificed for him to a five word sentence. Meera is hurt and astounded at this inconsiderate kid who seemingly appeared out of nowhere because he’s not the Bran she remembers, or was with less than one season ago, and tells him Bran Stark died in that cave. Robot Bran has no reaction, as per the new usual, and Meera leaves.

That line would have really had a hard impact if it even had the least bit of effect upon Bran, the person who it undercuts. We could have had a nuanced disconnect where he can still interact with people, show some emotion, but is no longer fully present. Then that could have been the line that cuts at him where he starts to feel the impact of his disengagement and the negatives of his all powerful visions. If Robot Bran even had an inkling of an arc being laid out this season, that could have been his starting point as he starts to feel internally guilty for this isolation as it bubbles up when he even feels separated from his sisters, watching them in pain, and feeling helpless. It furthers Bran’s feeling of isolation and frustration that run rampant throughout the books and would have actually led to a fleshed out B-storyline rather than the robot bullshit we are getting.

it’s almost like the two Stark sisters back in their home, united in front of Ned’s tomb should make me feel something…

We get the second Stark returning home this season (Wow, typing that out made the emptiness in these return journeys hit so hard. They should mean everything) with Arya. Those two dumb soldiers from Pirates of the Caribbean who are always outsmarted by Jack Sparrow are guarding the door, and they refuse to let her in. Why? Why would they let a little girl just freeze to death? Even if she’s not Arya Stark, the gates shouldn’t be shut to everyone who isn’t. Plus, the fact that they even assume she could be dangerous or trouble is just another instance of the disappearing patriarchy. The patriarchal system would dictate that this little girl would be simply that: a little girl. The thought that she could or would do any more than that wouldn’t cross their mind, but this bending and twisting of setting seems to happen whenever Arya is around.

Arya also has no emotion while talking to these guards at the door, and we just see her walk inside and eventually look around while the idiot guards argue about who will tell Sansa. I just…as a filmmaker I cannot believe we didn’t get a tracking shot from the front of the momentous second when she enters Winterfell for the first time with a pan around following her eyes and some emotional music. This moment should mean everything to her. She’s home. Instead we hold off on that moment till she sits on a cart and we get some random shots of nothing significant. Nothing as significant as that walk thought the entrance covered with Stark banners would have been. But I guess we get one or two sad ones strewn across the wall behind her. That’s the same right?

The two guards lose track of her because they were arguing. (No really…am I in Pirates of the Caribbean?) They go to tell Sansa but she already knows where Arya is: the crypts. They’re standing near a statue of Ned by his tomb (who had time to carve that during the war?) and from there we get an incredibly awkward reunion moment where it almost feels like both actors are playing different characters or have been in different shows and are now having a crossover episode, so their tone doesn’t really jive together.

Sansa is forced to give another one sided emotional hug as Arya fails to fully reciprocate, and the two reminisce as if they were old work colleagues. Arya asks if Sansa really killed Joffrey but Sansa sets her straight, saying she simply wishes she had. This is one of those things that just makes me so angry. I know we are so far off from book Sansa, they have shit on her since season one, and we’re never going to get anything close to a truthful representation of this girl because she represents the opposite of the nihilistic hopelessness of the television show. However, when they do something that is so blatantly a huge “fuck you” to her character and the two sisters bond over this shared wish to have personally killed Joffrey, I can’t help but get ticked off. This is not the “If I am queen I will make them love me” Sansa.  This is not the girl whose reaction to the Purple wedding was to cry and feel pity for the boy who abused her.

I know we’re never going to get that girl but this just kind of felt like a massive middle finger, a la Jaime pushing the White Book off the table to fuck Cersei in the tower of the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.

Arya lets slip that she has a list and Sansa thinks she is joking so the two share an awkward laugh together, but it’s not awkward in the powerful way it was in Arya’s chapters during A Storm of Swords, first when she’s with the Brotherhood and they tell her they’re ransoming her to Robb. She’s worried that she wasn’t important enough to pay the ransom for, but then begins fearing that her brother and her mother might not want her back at all after what she has done. She feels genuine fear about her return to her family, the lives she had taken to survive, and the the blood on her hands that she fears she will never wash clean.

“And her lady mother, what would she say? Would she still want her back, after all the things she’d done? Arya chewed her lip and wondered.” (ASOS Arya IV)

And, further to that point, and the whole point of the fear in general— Book Arya is not proud of her kills. She doesn’t flaunt them about, and in this moment of anxiety in general, she’s ashamed of them and what she has had to do. She feels the weight of death that Show Arya never faces. The smirk of empowerment doesn’t have the same impact.

I really think this scene could have worked if the writers had so much as suggested that she feels anything for the mass murder she’s been committing. Wasn’t that supposed to be the point of her arc in Braavos in the show where she couldn’t kill her bff Lady Crane?

“Oh hey…San-Sandra! It’s been so long since I’ve seen you! It was Jim’s holiday party right? How have you been?”

Anyway Sansa tells Arya that Bran is back too, but little does Arya know, Robot Bran is not very fun or nice, and is pretty creepy. They visit him in his resting spot by the heart tree and Arya gives him his second emotional hug that he does not reciprocate. Sansa gives her a look as if to say “See, I told you he’s pure robot. Try all you like, you’ll get nothing out of him except asshole answers to questions you never asked.”

Robot Bran confirms Arya does indeed have a list of names she wants to kill, and Sansa just smirks about it because killing is cool? #womenontop. No, but is this plot line supposed to be Sansa’s built up worry about what her siblings have become: namely Arya’s disengaged violence? Because if so they are not weaving a through line here…

Robot Bran randomly takes out his new sweet dagger and Sansa questions why Littlefinger would give him present like that. I don’t know Sansa, I really don’t know. Robot Bran isn’t interested in his potential murder weapon dagger though so he gives it to Arya since she’s all into stabbing. Aw.

As the three Stark kids walk through Winterfell together, Pod and Brienne look on as Pod says Catelyn would have been proud of her for keeping her oath. Brienne reminds Pod that she “did nothing” and we all start having flashbacks to when she was forced to spend an entire season standing by a window waiting for a candle light.

This looks like a grown adult parrying with a young pupil right? Brienne looks totally controlled and not overtly aggressive when fighting a child

Later on, Brienne and Pod are having a sick training session where Pod gets beat up some more, (at least she’s giving him some instruction this time? But only after she demolishes him) and Arya interrupts it to ask to train with Brienne too. Brienne obliges and they start sparring, but Arya is as good or if not better than Brienne of Tarth. Where/when did she learn all this sword fighting? Off-screen? Between seasons? Surely this is not a product of that stick fighting with the Waif, right?

Sansa is having a chat about grain stores with Littlefinger but stops mid-sentence because her sibling jealousy radar is tingling! I think? Is that what I’m supposed to be reading from that scene? Sansa is jealous of Arya bonding with Brienne? Because that’s what I’m getting from Sophie Turner, not worry that her little sister is a weapon, no longer a child.

KINGS LANDING

We’re only blessed with one scene in Kings Landing this week and it’s a totally needless one. Tycho Nestoris and Cersei are having a chat about his incoming payments, praising Cersei’s efficiency. (It’s called teleportation, Tycho!) All we learn is that Qyburn is getting support from the Golden Company and the Iron Bank is looking to throw themselves into this new war effort venture, annoyed to no longer be receiving Lannister interested payments. But seriously Tycho? You finally got the debt money you’ve been owed from the crown for years and you’re already ready to reinvest?

DRAGONSTONE

Back on Dragonstone Dany and Missandei are chatting and Dany wants that hot gossip about Missandei and Grey Worm’s sexy times the other week. Missandei starts to give the details but Jon interrupts them, Dany giving Missandei a “we’ll finish this conversation later” look. Jon leads her into the cave full of dragonglass to show her everything before they start hacking away at it and Dany looks up in awe. Apparently the dragonglass is pretty enough to make her care now, but I can’t tell because the scene is so dark.

Jon has more to show her than the dragonglass though (this is not an innuendo), and takes her to see some juvenile and badly designed cave paintings apparently made by the Children of the Forest thousands of years ago. She’s into these spiral scribble that look like notebook corner doodles, but Jon has something else to show her. There’s more paintings! These ones, bearing no resemblance to the style of the others, are depictions of the First Men and Children teaming up to fight the White Walkers. I’m not sure the timeline works for the Children being on Dragonstone, but whatever.

I’m convinced Jon totally just drew this before she came in there

Anyway the childish drawings of this mega intelligent race of beings convinces Dany more than Jon ever could (because why give him character development or positive, active, qualities?). Now had Jon actively described Hardhome last week and what the White Walkers looked like, then showed her this painting to confirm his tale, maybe that would have been a more logical leap to seal the deal for her?

But it’s okay, she’s apparently feeling all hot and bothered according to the Inside the Episode, so she agrees to help Jon and fight for both him and the North should he bend the knee. Jon insists that his people will never agree to a Southron leader but she chides him, asking him “isn’t their survival more important than your pride?” If it’s supposed to be a parallel between Jon and Mance in season 5 it really doesn’t work, because Jon doesn’t lose everything he’s worked for by bending the knee. If Mance bent, all his work would be undone. Or so he said. I still don’t understand that conversation.

Outside, Tyrion, and Varys wait as the bearers of bad news and let Dany know about the fuckups that were Casterly Rock and Highgarden. She’s pissed her armies have been taken from her (it’s not fair!!) and dismisses Tyrion saying “Enough with the clever plans. I have three large dragons. I’m going to fly them over to the Red Keep.” Yes! Just do it girl! You should have done it three episodes ago but we needed the dramatic tension of a more even sided group of foes, so logic is thrown out the window. And the garbage that starving a city out is less harmful or would be more popular than targeted dragon fire is ridiculous.

“You tell her” “No you tell her, I told her last time!”

Dany decides to go to a different man for advice instead of Tyrion because his plans haven’t worked out (god forbid she ever make a decision for herself,) and Jon tells her that the people who follow her do so because she’s gonna build a better world. (Yes…this sounds like someone who needs to be constantly talked down from burning people alive).

This sentiment is continued after Davos talks to Jon about his penis tingles for Dany and the two run into Missandei. She also confirms Dany’s “goodness” and her belief in her—this is starting to sound like a cult—and who shows up?! Theon! He and Jon share some uneasy glances where Jon attacks him and says that Sansa is the only reason he’s not killing him. Theon says they came back to ask Dany for help to free Yara, but the crew informs her that she isn’t there. “Where did she go?” You might be asking? Cut to…

THE REACH

The Lannister army is bringing their “spoils” (get it? It’s the episode title!) back to King’s Landing on foot, meaning they fucking walked to Casterly Rock, then to Highgarden, and back to King’s Landing in what is supposedly a fortnight. On their way, they are taking more “spoils” by relieving the local farmers of all of their crops and grains….you know, the best way to gain loyal (totally not angry) subjects!

Later on their journey, with the Iron Bank payment up in the front of the line and already through the gates of King’s Landing, Randyll Tarly insists on reminding us he’s a dick by recommending that stragglers get flogged, but good old Jaime insists they get a warning first. New-Dickon also has a conversion with Jaime where we see that this was apparently this first battle and it terrifies him. Uh…this dude looks to be about thirty and is from a highborn house but never fought or squired for someone in a battle? Were you guys not fighting on the Blackwater?

Bronn however, quiets everyone down because he hears the Dothraki screamers steadfastly approaching from over the hill. I have so many questions. Like, how did they get there? And also, how did Jaimie’s big as fuck army have no outriders to check what’s coming at them from all direction? But maybe you also win invisibility with the use of a teleportation jetpack.

Tyrion’s there for some reason to watch because we couldn’t possibly have a Dany scene without him!

It’s not just the Dothraki however, it’s also Dany on Drogon’s back! Jaime kicks his army into gear, but the whole field is soon aflame. Although Drogon seems to have pretty good aim. The troops try to fire regular arrows but they just bounce off of Drogon’s tummy and Jaime sends Bronn to go look for Qyburn’s scorpion that they apparently packed. (Why?) Bronn runs through the turmoil, smoke, and flame to find their one hope of not being super roasted. (Not after being chased by a super determined Dothraki that literally gets off his horse to follow him, though). Bronn wastes an arrow on this Dothraki and gets the next one ready to hit Drogon. On his third try he manages to get Drogon in his side. (Kickass job with those dragon noises Paula Fairfield, who does all the creature sound effects! I really felt Drogo’s pain even more than I saw it.) Now I’m not going to get into the fact that unless Drogon was hit in the eye or mouth, I don’t know why these spears actually hurt him, but they do.

 On his way down he burns the scorpion, so I guess that’s that. Dany dismounts and tries to help him pull the spear out. It’s essentially that moment of Dany’s with Drogon in the fighting pits in the book were her leap to him and onto his back is such a personal choice. Here we get nothing other than he’s hurt…and Dany’s vulnerable so Jaime charges toward her, lance in hand, right towards a dragon. Of course, Drogon steps in and just as Jaime is about to get roasted, someone pushes him into the water.

Okay so see here shallow water along the shore for Jaime’s horse to gallop in…

Deep enough water for Jaime to start to full on sink several feet below the surface. They can’t even keep their fucking shorelines consistent!

The battle was kind of fun to watch, but completely unemotional for both perspectives. D&D insist in the “Inside the Episode” interview that “this is the fight she has been waiting for her whole life.” But it’s not. It was the fight Viserys wanted. Little Dany dreamt of her Red Door, not of Westeros. Teen Dany questioned its validity in the first place. She was never dreaming of this war. It’s an active choice for Dany because she never thought that destiny was hers. She chooses to pursue it, not because she wants to see her enemies burn, but because she feels pressure as the last true dragon as well as a true care for the people she is starting to govern over. Her want isn’t purely selfish and certainly isn’t battle motivated. The fighting is just an inevitable byproduct of her claiming a throne someone already sits upon and contending the reputation her father left behind.

To see her fear and reluctance before jumping on the back of Drogon would have been a thousand times more interesting than seeing her fly through the ashes she’s created.

Jaime is in the same boat. His actual history and character is never given any regard. Jaime would be triggered by watching Aerys 2.0 burn all of his men on the battlefield, raining down waves of fire and ash. This is also his worst nightmare realized as men run around engulfed in flames, and it’s exactly what he feared under the last Targaryen. However, that’s not highlighted, anymore than it was when Cersei blew up the sept. His greatest and hardest choice where he had to actively disobey his duties and oaths because the thought of people burning was too unbearable is never in play when literally his worst nightmare has struck Westeros. He should be hightailing it against both Cersei and Dany, but instead I’m sure we’ll have another few episodes of glorified incest. 

Drogon’s fire looks pretty controlled as he roasts the food that she specifically says they are doomed without…fuck the smallfolk right?

Overall this episode was better paced than the previous ones and I could shut my brain off to enjoy the dragon battle bits, but any character beats and moments for the protagonist to grow or feel were once again sacrificed to spectacle or plot contrivances. There were so many threads that, if focused upon, could have been truly something, but instead were cut before they could go more than a centimeter and are left dangling…

On a positive note, we’re over halfway through!


Images courtesy of HBO

The post Exposition Paintings, Bad Hugs, and Missed Opportunity Dominates Thrones appeared first on The Fandomentals.

07 Aug 22:06

How to Contain Your Feelings Like a Bomb and Then Safely Blow Them Up

by Taryn Englehart

Sometimes feelings are nice, but sometimes they’re a threat. Whenever you get a feeling that makes you think, “Oh no, oh no!” make sure to approach it with the extreme caution you would also approach an improvised explosive device planted beneath the ground. Here’s how to reduce the damage of a feeling by containing it like a bomb and then safely blowing it up.

 

Attempt to Defuse the Feeling

If a feeling has landed in your vicinity and you have nowhere to escape, attempt to defuse the feeling first. Find which wires inside you made the feeling happen, then try to snip them with extreme caution, since this can be incredibly tricky. Snipping the wrong wire can actually make the feeling blow up 10 times as hard with yourself in its wake, so if you’re not sure which one to cut, better move onto the next step. Feelings are scary, but you definitely don’t want to die disarming them!

 

Put the Feeling in a Steel Box

If you cannot defuse the feeling that’s happening to you, put the feeling in a steel box. This is the safest place to let it detonate because a steel box is unbreakable, unmeltable and makes it impossible for anyone to see or hear the feeling going off. This means no one gets hurt, or points at you and asks, “Why are there flames coming out of your head?” The feeling will live and die where minimal damage can be done: inside a hard square no one can open.

 

 

Let the Feeling Go Off

Now that the feeling inside you has been contained, let the feeling go off. You cannot stop this from happening, because all feelings aside from either “complain” or “work” are literal bombs that will try to kill you no matter what. Once you hear the ticking of an emotion about to happen, you can only wait. When the time comes simply allow the feeling to do the explosion it so clearly wants, then move on and be grateful you survived. Whew – that could’ve turned out way worse!

 

Laugh and Laugh

Now that you watched the feeling explode, you may laugh and laugh. Haha! You were so close to dying, but you remained alive despite the threat of feelings against your life. You feel nothing.

 

It can be terrifying when you’re just living your life and then all of a sudden a feeling you did not want gets thrown at you. Follow this guide to remain safe from all threats internal and external.

07 Aug 22:03

Meirás: a punta do iceberg do macroespolio do que se lucran os Franco

by Miguel Pardo

O Pazo é a propiedade máis destacada das moitas coas que o ditador se fixo durante a ditadura na área da Coruña. A súa familia vendeu e sacou importantes beneficios de boa parte dun patrimonio que inclúe terreos, inmobles e numerosas obras de arte usurpadas á poboación

07 Aug 22:03

Los que nunca abandonarán su pueblo

by Álvaro Corazón Rural

Sinforosa.

Comiendo mierda. En sentido literal, caca cogida del suelo. Así quiso ridiculizar el franquismo las fotografías de Eugene Smith en la revista Life del pueblo de Deleitosa, en Cáceres. La intención del fotógrafo era denunciar con un fotorreportaje el estado de España tras la Guerra Civil, su sometimiento. E impedir que se la incluyera en el Plan Marshall sin antes derribar su dictadura. Una de sus fotos, la de un niño recogiendo excrementos, fue publicada en la prensa española atribuyéndole al autor la frase en su reportaje de que el crío lo que iba a hacer era comérselos.

El pie de foto real no tenía nada que ver con eso, me explica Virginia Mendoza, autora de Quién te cerrará los ojos (Libros del KO, 2017), pero, tantos años después como han pasado, aún sigue doliendo en ese pueblo. Se publicó en 1951 con el título de «Spanish Village». La escritora ha ido a la localidad y ha comprobado cómo aún hoy algunos allí no quieren «ni oír hablar del tema de Smith». Es una vergüenza, es un escarnio. Parece mentira que perdure la emoción de aquello, pero hay una paradoja en todo esto que subraya la autora que da idea de la dimensión de la despoblación rural. Las fotos que sacó ese americano para denunciar la decadencia de España fueron tomadas en el mejor momento demográfico de la localidad.

Virginia comenzó este trabajo antes de la aparición de La España vacía, de Sergio del Molino. Pero su enfoque es diferente y complementario. Similar al que ofreciera con su anterior obra, Heridas del viento, sobre Armenia. Ha recorrido el terreno y ha sabido mezclarse entre las gentes, las pocas que quedan. Para comentar con ellas, ganándose su cariño y confianza, lo que hay o lo que no hay. La soledad y la llegada inmisericorde del fin definitivo de los pueblos que habitan. Es un retrato de primer orden de la España rural en crisis. Ha accedido a los testimonios in situ y lo ha hecho con una especial sensibilidad, la misma que exhibiera en aquellos textos sobre el Cáucaso. Es curioso. Lo que recoge su obra en esencia, en comparación con la anterior, es que no hace falta irse lejos para encontrar lugares esculpidos por exotismos de la historia. A pocos kilómetros de nuestras ciudades residen estos personajes en sitios marcados por el abandono, cargados de historias y relatos de tiempos pretéritos. Leyendas que bien sabemos que son verosímiles, porque los españoles nos conocemos, y que se van perdiendo junto con estos pueblos y aldeas y sus naturales. Por eso ha ido en búsqueda de pueblos en los que no queden más de media docena de habitantes, a veces solo uno. Virginia no cree ni mucho menos que la España rural esté muerta, es algo en lo que insiste sin cesar. De quien se ha ido en búsqueda es de los que mantienen el arraigo contra viento y marea. Los inarrancables. Los que nunca abandonarán su pueblo.

Hablo con ella y le voy deslizando las ideas que ha expuesto. La primera y fundamental, el sentimiento de traición que experimentan los que se quedan solos en los pueblos por parte de los que se van. Existe una indiferencia muy reaccionaria de los que viven en territorios poblados sobre los que no. La misma que siente la felicidad por la desgracia, como dijo el filósofo. Para Virginia: «No es tanto que se sientan traicionados porque todos se hayan ido, como que vuelvan para preguntarles por qué no se van. Ellos son conscientes de que los que se han ido tienen unas necesidades que el pueblo ya no puede cubrir, les duele que solo la ciudad pueda satisfacerlas y no ese lugar que han cuidado toda su vida con tanto cariño».

En internet proliferan las webs que se dedican a la compraventa de aldeas, iglesias o monasterios. A veces se venden en packs. Un artículo en El País de 2015 calculaba que había mil quinientas aldeas a la venta. Los restos de poco menos que una civilización extinguida están de saldo. Sin embargo, mientras queda alguien, los últimos vecinos, este mercadeo no consigue penetrar. Escribe Virginia que viven en una especie de sistema al margen del capitalismo. «Ellos se han librado de ciertas necesidades que a otros se nos han impuesto», subraya la autora, «quedarse en lugares que se iban vaciando les ha permitido salirse de la rueda capitalista, aunque no fuera de manera intencionada. Tienen la vida que tienen, con sus cosas buenas y sus cosas malas, pero están tranquilos. Por ese acapitalismo ni siquiera necesitan ser felices, les basta con eso, con estar tranquilos». Una cita de Delibes que encabeza un capítulo dice así: «La insolidaridad de la vida moderna les ha pillado desprevenidos».

Han aprendido a no necesitar y, además, algunos recelan de las bondades de los inventos modernos. Cita la autora a Sinforosa, una de las personas que entrevista en su viaje por estos lugares, que ha tenido una cocina encerrada en una habitación durante una década porque le parecía un invento del demonio que podría explotar en cualquier momento. También se niega a usar una lavadora porque dice que para eso ya tiene el lavadero.

En la soledad, estas personas que llevan tantos años sin un contacto humano frecuente —reflexiona la obra— puede que a veces acaben perdiendo parte de su lengua materna. Se les va olvidando a fuerza de no usarla. No hay con quién. Uno de los personajes que aparecen abrevia el lenguaje más de lo normal cortando las frases con «el ese». Virginia sospechó que quizá le costaba recordar las palabras. La misma sensación tuvo con Jesús, otro hombre solo en un pueblo, que llevaba treinta años sin querer saber nada de nadie. El libro cita el caso de un estadounidense que estuvo cinco años prisionero de los talibanes en Afganistán, aprendió su lengua y, a su regreso, hablaba mal en inglés, la suya.

Una situación distinta es que con la pérdida de estas personas vayan desapareciendo idiomas. En el caso en el que se detiene la autora es en el del beltesán, dialecto del aragonés. A día de hoy no más de treinta personas deben hablarlo. Ángel Luis, el pastor que entrevista Virginia en Huesca, está tratando de apuntar todas las palabras que recuerda de la lengua de sus padres para que quede algo de ella. Mientras, se queja de la inacción del Gobierno de Aragón en este aspecto y de que, encima, todos los servicios y dotaciones que llegan a su zona son para los veraneantes de la ciudad, no para ellos. Señala con fastidio los helicópteros de rescate. Se siente como un indio.

Virginia me cuenta que este es un fenómeno universal: «Tiene que enfrentarse a una burocracia que le complica su trabajo y que le agota, mientras ve que, por ejemplo, la PAC va a parar siempre a los bolsillos de los que no trabajan la tierra como él. El sentimiento de Ángel Luis es el de cualquier campesino, no solo en España. En el cómic Rural, de Etiène Davodeau, que parte de entrevistas con campesinos franceses, uno de los protagonistas se queja exactamente de lo mismo, casi con las mismas palabras».

Ángel Luis.

En estas conversaciones con los lugareños, por la obra también va asomando la historia de España. Recuerdos de guardias civiles disfrazados de maquis para combatir a la guerrilla. Tal y como lo cuenta, parece la visión más impactante en toda la vida del que la recuerda. Pueblos cuya población había emigrado en masa a Guinea Ecuatorial cuando aún era colonia española. En una pequeña localidad, cuyo nombre no figura en el libro, el Gobierno de Franco intentó con su plan de repoblación forestal crear pastizales mejorados para evitar la despoblación. En realidad, acabó con la agricultura y ganadería de esas zonas, prohibía a las ovejas entrar en las nuevas zonas de pinos, y consiguió lo contrario, aumentar el fenómeno migratorio. Los propietarios de montes se los tuvieron que vender a Patrimonio Forestal del Estado. Los que no lo hicieron, fueron expropiados. El 27 de agosto de 1968 le tocó al pueblo de Victoria en las Tierras Altas de Soria. Una de las zonas más despobladas de Europa actualmente. A la mujer todavía la persigue la expropiación forzosa. Siempre se acercan en su búsqueda periodistas para que recuerde el episodio. Ella se niega. Fue algo tan sumamente traumático que no quiere ni revivirlo. Sus vecinos de otros pueblos cercanos se encargan de disuadir a los plumillas. En una ocasión, se ausentó para ir al médico y le robaron en casa. Parece como si hubiera sobre ella una especie de maldición bíblica: lo perderás todo. Desde entonces no tiene radio. No escucha nada. No sabe nada de nadie, pero hace poco vio un bebé por casualidad y se echó a llorar, dijo que creía que nunca jamás iba a volver a ver uno.

Son testigos del fin de los tiempos. En Vea, en las paredes de su derruida iglesia se puede leer una pintada: «Día 21 de octubre de 1962, se ba terminando el pueblo». Ahora, la mayoría de los protagonistas de este libro quieren morir en el lugar donde nacieron, tienen un vínculo emocional muy fuerte con la tierra, señala la autora. «Se sienten responsables de algo cuya vida ahora mismo creen que va a desaparecer con ellos. Sinforosa es quien cuida la ermita y la hospedería para cuando vienen los antiguos vecinos (un día al año), Ángel Luis escribe un diccionario de un dialecto que está a punto de desaparecer, Antonio recupera con sus manos la aldea en la que su madre aprendió a leer y a escribir, María se subió a un campanario y se enfrentó a la Guardia Civil y al cura porque no había nadie más para defender las campanas. Mi abuelo, y esto no aparece en el libro pero lo he recordado después, limpiaba la maleza de caminos por los que ya nadie pasaba, y lo hacía por si algún día los necesitaba alguien… Hay mucho de responsabilidad, de solidaridad (por si acaso vienen), de nostalgia y, con el tiempo, de rebeldía».

El mayor drama es ver cómo van desapareciendo los bares. Hay pueblos que luchan encarecidamente por mantener abierto el único que les queda. Pero desde hace años la realidad es muy tozuda, como documenta Virginia en Quién te cerrará los ojos, son todos conscientes de que los jóvenes se van a por trabajo a otra parte y los viejos ya solo pueden irse al cementerio. La situación de estas gentes se puede mirar desde diferentes ópticas. La fácil es el melodrama, la sentimental; Virginia Mendoza ha optado por la de la dignidad y, por qué no, la rebeldía. Escribe en estas páginas: «Quedarse, mientras la sociedad sigue promoviendo su alegato a favor del movimiento incesante, de la prisa, es su pequeña revolución. Que los llamen tozudos o tontos puede que les reporte cierto orgullo en ese viaje a contracorriente que es su vida».

Tierras Altas de Soria, cerca de Sarnago.

La entrada Los que nunca abandonarán su pueblo aparece primero en Jot Down Cultural Magazine.

07 Aug 21:55

La pesadilla inmobiliaria del mes: Alquílate un pasillo por 1.000 euros

by Juan López

'La pesadilla inmobiliaria del mes' es una sección en la que denunciamos los abusos más flagrantes y los pisos más sorprendentes del mercado inmobiliario en España. Si te has topado con algún palacio similar, escríbenos a esredaccion@vice.com.

Habíamos visto zulos, pisos-escalera, suelo industrial reconvertido, pero hasta ahora no habíamos afrontado ningún pata negra madrileño. En la capital tenemos el chotis, los chulapos, el bocata de calamares, los callos, pero ninguna de estas cosas es más típica que un buen bajo interior.

El reto de desplegar la mesa con sus sillas sin encender la lavadora

El bajo interior madrileño tiene un origen más o menos reciente y su terminología podría considerarse un neologismo. Ahora se le llama así pero toda la vida ha sido 'la garita del portero' o en algunos casos 'el hueco de la escalera'. En el último medio siglo han proliferado muchísimo en el centro de Madrid ante la desaparición paulatina de la figura del portero. Hoy toca uno de estos lugares tan castizos.

Un zulo alargado sin luz natural y con muchas —muchísimas— velitas

¿Qué es?: Un pasillo un pelín más ancho de lo habitual con una superficie de 30 metros cuadrados.
¿Dónde está?: En Malasaña, la zona de 'moderneo' por antonomasia en Madrid, el barrio que está eternamente de moda.
¿Qué se puede hacer por ahí?: De todo. Hay incluso librerías de estas en las que te puedes tomar un café mientras te arreglan la bici plegable que le compraste a un malabarista de Surinam en un mercadillo itinerante de Berlín.
¿Cuánto cuesta?: 1.000 eurazos al mes, aunque tiene dos camas y, por lo tanto, se podría compartir.

Ser guay, vivir en un barrio alternativo y poder tener el Instagram a pleno rendimiento puede tener costes elevados. Es el precio de molar. Cualquier persona de provincias que llega a Madrid tiene dos metas en la vida. La primera es llevar a su pareja a ver el musical de El Rey León; la segunda es que el típico amigo que vive en Madrid o ha estudiado aquí le lleve a Malasaña. Mucha de esta gente se enamora del barrio y termina intentando vivir en él cueste lo que cueste.

El piso es un desfiladero de unos diez o doce metros de largo por algo más de dos de ancho. En ese espacio aparece una habitación, el salón, la cocina, la entrada y el baño, todo a lo largo, como si fuesen los camarotes de un velero pero rollo diáfano. Se parece a un barco hasta en la mesa plegable, que quieres comer, pues la sacas, que quieres poder salir de casa, pues la pliegas. Hay una segunda habitación, pero por las fotos es imposible saber por dónde se accede a ella.

Podrás apoyarte en la pared mientras cocinas

Mención especial requiere el baño. Al fondo del pequeño cañón de Malasaña está la gran joya de la corona, algo que llama la atención por encima de todo lo demás. Es la ducha, una mole oscura y resplandeciente que preside el piso desde el extremo. La gran pregunta es cómo narices lograron encajar eso ahí, seguramente lo haría alguien especialista en meter barcos en botellas de cristal. Y ahora lo mejor de la foto, tienes esa nave espacial de ducha y justo al lado un termo de agua de 20 litros, difícil que no termines catando el agua fría en el último enjuague.

De camino a la ducha tienes un obstáculo en forma de váter

¿Cómo reconocer un buen bajo interior 100% madrileño?

Saber a ciencia cierta si te has topado con un bajo interior madrileño con pedigrí no es fácil, requiere de mucha experiencia y observación. El detalle más característico es la ventana translucida, sí, esa ventana con cristal rugoso o en el peor de los casos con un vinilo que impide que te vean desde el exterior. El problema es que en estos casos el principal motivo es el contrario, que tú no veas el horror que hay fuera, normalmente un patio interior (casi siempre con algún saco de cemento sobrante de alguna obra). Es posible que también haya palomas, bien regordetas y de las que hacen ruido.

Un segundo motivo característico de este tipo de antro es 'la habitación ciega', algo que los propietarios suelen intentar esconder hasta que vas a verla. "Es más tranquila, no hay ruido y le hemos puesto estas lucecitas que le dan ambiente muy chulo", sí pero ¿no tiene ventana?. No, no tiene. Dormir con dos copas de más o una mala digestión nocturna y tu habitación es una cámara de gas.

El colmo son las sábanas noventeras de colores

El tercer rasgo del bajo madrileño y el más glamuroso es el arco. El arco convierte un buen bajo en un bajo de premio, casi cum laude. Le resta luminosidad (si ya tenía poca) y le da ese toque de cueva que enamora. El arco no es ningún adorno del dueño ni un homenaje a la mezquita de Córdoba. El arco es la mejor manera de perforar un muro de carga y así poder juntar dos trasteros y dos zonas de un mismo edificio que estaban separadas en un inicio.

07 Aug 21:46

‘Sunstone’, BDSM, amor y humor en un cómic ma-ra-vi-llo-so

by Paula Plath

Decir Sunstone es un comedia erótica y romántica sobre BDSM lésbico sería acertado, pero también sería simplificarlo mucho, quedarse sólo en la superficie y no hacerle justicia, porque por encima de todas las cosas y de esos maravillosos dibujos de Stjepan Sejic que podrían derretir enterito el castillo de hielo de Elsa, es una historia […]

La entrada ‘Sunstone’, BDSM, amor y humor en un cómic ma-ra-vi-llo-so aparece primero en Hay una lesbiana en mi sopa.

07 Aug 21:45

No, los británicos no se están haciendo tatuajes ofensivos sobre Madeleine McCann en Magaluf

by Jaime Rubio Hancock

“Británicos borrachos están pagando por tatuajes ofensivos sobre Madeleine McCann en Magaluf”. El titular que publicó el tabloide inglés The Daily Star el 3 de agosto está en plural, pero en el interior de la noticia solo se habla de un tatuaje: la foto muestra un muslo con la frase “I stole Madeleine McCann” (“yo robé a Madeleine McCann"), en referencia a la niña británica que desapareció en Portugal en 2007. A pesar de esto, varios medios británicos y españoles han publicado también la noticia, hablando de una "moda" o de una "tendencia" en sus titulares. Pero solo se trata de un caso aislado de mal gusto.

De hecho, solo hay tres fotos de lo que parece el mismo tatuaje. La mayoría de medios publican alguna de las imágenes que aparecen en dos tuits del 25 y el 28 de julio. El primero dice que un tatuaje así solo se podría ver en esta localidad mallorquina. En el segundo, que es el que recogió The Daily Star, la tuitera afirma haber conocido a un tipo en el aeropuerto: "Mirad el tatuaje que se hizo en Magaluf”. Ninguno de los dos tuits tuvo mucha repercusión en Twitter ni siquiera después de aparecer en los medios.

Al segundo mensaje contestaba Jack Martin el 3 de agosto, cuando The Daily Star publicó la noticia: “Lo mejor que me he comprado jamás”, contestaba Martin. De hecho, el 25 de julio él había publicado otra foto del mismo tatuaje, pero sin hacer mención a Magaluf: “Lo que pasa en Portugal se queda en Portugal”. El tuit apenas se ha compartido. Aun así, varios medios le preguntaron en los comentarios si podían hablar con él, a lo que solo contestó: “Enseñadme el dinero”. El diario Evening Times asegura que este joven de Glasgow es el dueño del tatuaje, sin más prueba que estos tuits.

Sin más rastro del tatuaje

"Nos piden tatuajes muy raros -explica a Verne un responsable de Enigma Tattoo Studios, que está en Magaluf-. Como en todo el mundo, pero aquí más. Pero ese en concreto, no, ni idea". Tampoco les han pedido ni han visto un tatuaje similar en Magaluf Ink y en In Spirit Tattoo, donde conocían la polémica solo por la prensa.

Cuando se habla de una moda de este tipo, a menudo es útil hacer una búsqueda en Twitter y en Instagram para comprobar si de verdad se ha extendido o estamos hablando de casos excepcionales. Es cierto que no pocos veraneantes de la conocida localidad de Mallorca se hacen un tatuaje durante sus vacaciones y muchos de ellos comparten las fotos en redes. Sin embargo, no hemos encontrado ningún otro ejemplo similar, aparte de las tres fotos citadas.

Es decir, lo único que tenemos son tres imágenes de lo que todo indica que es el mismo tatuaje. Es posible que sí se hiciera en Magaluf, pero los tatuadores con los que hemos hablado no tienen noticia de su existencia ni les han pedido nada similar. Es decir, no hay ninguna moda ni se trata de una nueva tendencia veraniega.

07 Aug 21:26

Artist secretly shares 'Meals For Thieves'

by Rusty Blazenhoff

Bay Area artist Richie Rhombus has been leaving hot meals on the front seat of his unlocked mini-van and quietly hiding in the back. When a food "thief" comes around to eat the home-cooked dinner, Rhombus eats with him, but secretly.

He explains:

Now here’s the fun part: So since this is a meal that doesn’t stay good long in open air, I wanted to have an experience that could happen within a couple hrs. So I sealed the dish in plastic wrap & left the side-door open. I also wanted to share the meal with the person without them knowing I was there, so I made a trap-door hidden area in the van, where I hid, with an identical meal, waiting for them to arrive.

...One set of footsteps stopped at the van, and after about a minute someone entered inside the vehicle at around 3:50 am... When I heard the sound of their fork hit the dish, I began eating my meal as well, together with the person. I was careful to not make any sounds, and just listened carefully while we both ate. They hit the fork against their teeth with ever bite, though no smacking sounds, chewed with their mouth closed, but several deep sniffing sounds, and deep breathing. They ate quickly, but were patient between bites. After a few minutes they sat up, and left the van.

I’m aware that I'm an artist with the creative luxury to design an experience. And this person is unknowingly involved in that experience. And through these conditions of my desire to feed and their desire to eat, we share this meal, and this space, together.

Rhombus calls his covert meal-sharing experiment, "Meals For Thieves."

07 Aug 21:21

Beautiful chart displays native speakers of world's languages

by Andrea James

Spanish designer Alberto Lucas López created this gorgeous infographic that shows the proportion of native speakers of each major language. (more…)

07 Aug 21:06

Hay una cosa que mata a más gente que la obesidad: la soledad

by Sergio Parra

La obesidad ha alcanzado proporciones epidémicas a nivel mundial, y cada año mueren, como mínimo, 2,8 millones de personas a causa de la obesidad o sobrepeso. Irónicamente, incluso muere más gente por obesidad que por hambre.

Sin embargo, estas cifras no son tan altas como otro factor que aún mata a más gente, aunque ni siquiera se considera una patología: la soledad.

El problema de la soledad

Según un estudio realizado por la Universidad Brigham Young en Utah, las dos grandes amenazas para la supervivencia de las personas, por encima de la obesidad, es la soledad y el aislamiento social. Y es que dos metaanálisis revelaron que la soledad y el aislamiento social pueden aumentar el riesgo de muerte prematura hasta en un 50%. El primer metanálisis incluyó a más de 300.000 adultos en 148 estudios, mientras que el segundo incluyó 70 estudios con más de 3,4 millones de adultos. Según explica Julianne Holt-Lunstad, líder del trabajo:

Hay evidencia sólida de que el aislamiento social y la soledad aumentan significativamente el riesgo de mortalidad prematura y la magnitud del riesgo supera la de muchos indicadores de salud líderes.

Según la experta, estos resultados son particularmente preocupantes dado que el envejecimiento de la población está aumentando.
Imagen | My name is Randy3676482176_92f79ee432_o.jpg

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La noticia Hay una cosa que mata a más gente que la obesidad: la soledad fue publicada originalmente en Xataka Ciencia por Sergio Parra .

07 Aug 19:24

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07 Aug 19:23

Kelly Stafford vuelve al porno diez años después

by Pinjed
Kelly Stafford vuelve al porno diez años después

El otro día hablábamos del regreso de Madison Ivy como el comback del año 2017 por razones más que justificadas: estuvo a punto de morir en un...

07 Aug 10:27

Éstas son las razones por las que discutes con tu pareja en el coche

by GQ
Un estudio revela que más del 79% de las parejas ha discutido alguna vez al volante. Te explicamos cómo detectarlas (y evitarlas).
06 Aug 10:11

“A cuestión da homosexualidade está presente nos inicios do amor cortés”

by R. Castro
Carlos Callón regresa á investigación sobre a homosexualidade na Idade Media con importantes achados de novos textos no trobadorismo galego que falan de homosexualidade e lesbianismo. Publicouno na súa tese de...
06 Aug 10:10

A metade das explotacións leiteiras que fechan no Estado son galegas

by Xabier P. Igrexas
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05 Aug 18:14

Have Smartphones Destroyed a Generation?

by mareli
What effects has the widespread use of smartphones had on kids? "The arrival of the smartphone has radically changed every aspect of teenagers' lives, from the nature of their social interactions to their mental health. These changes have affected young people in every corner of the nation and in every type of household. The trends appear among teens poor and rich; of every ethnic background; in cities, suburbs, and small towns."

"Teens who spend more time than average on screen activities are more likely to be unhappy, and those who spend more time than average on nonscreen activities are more likely to be happy.

There's not a single exception. All screen activities are linked to less happiness, and all nonscreen activities are linked to more happiness. Eighth-graders who spend 10 or more hours a week on social media are 56 percent more likely to say they're unhappy than those who devote less time to social media."

One big issue for teens is FOMO, or fear of missing out.

On the positive side they're apparently not getting high as much as kids in previous generations.