SamTee

Lucille: You might want to let that fire go out before you stick your face in it.
Lindsay: That’s funny, because I was going to say you might want to lean away from that fire since you’re soaked in alcohol.
Lucille: Mine was better.

Top Banana - 1x02

submission from Jacob Stockton

Haunting.

[Thanks, Sarah!]

(Some spoilers if you haven't seen the show.)

---

See more posts by Edith Zimmerman

10 comments

"... even housewarming gift." (With video.)

***

Highlights from the Zombie of Montclaire Moors Statue Customer Ratings & Review section:

"Everyone who passes by remarkes on the Zombie."

"Thanks, tax refund!"

"I ordered this for my husband's birthday and set it up as a surprise for him."

"We have had a lot of interesting comments about our GLEN ... and he looks very handsome against the red wood chips in the garden."

"Got it to scare the grandkids. And it did. The kids stay clear of it."

"For the holiday season, he is now sporting a jaunty Santa hat!"

"I've been setting it up in unexpected places for my husband to find. So far, having the Zombie crawling out of a gym bag in the closet got the funniest response."

"I'm afraid to put it in my yard because someone will steal it."

"I bought this product as a wedding gift for my son and his wife after they were married by a Grim Reaper impersonator."

"I thought that it moved, like the other skeleton I bought from Sky Mall, but it doesn't."

"... the birds that once made the railing surrounding my terrace their own personal home are now suddenly avoiding it once I put my zombie on my outdoor dining table."

"Unpacked and set up on the dining room table. My son (12) walked by and screamed."

"It never fails."

"My grown daughter covered its face with a towel while I was away and she was cat-sitting so she didn't have to look at it. Great purchase – it will be a mainstay around my house."

---

See more posts by Edith Zimmerman

45 comments

Elaine, how come whenever I misplace my brown paper bag with the number 26 all over it, behind the lamp on my bedside table is always the last place I look?

Deborah Kogan has something epic to say:

Fast-forward to 1988: I am raped by an acquaintance the night before my graduation from college. The next morning, before donning cap and gown, I stumble into the University Health Services building to report the crime. I'm advised not to press charges. "They'll smear you," I'm told by the female psychologist assigned to my case. I don't want to be smeared. I've got a life to live. Twenty-five years later, while watching CNN lament the effects of the Steubenville rape on two promising lives—the rapists', not the victim's—I'll hold two competing thoughts: nothing has changed; I wish I'd been braver. I decide to Google my rapist's name, something I've never done in the quarter-century since the crime. His promise, I note, has been duly fulfilled. He's successful. He's married—to a woman who recently spoke on a "Lean In" panel with Sheryl Sandberg.

Because life's like that.

The whole thing is wow: "The author's 2002 book about her career as a war photographer was titled "Shutterbabe"—against her wishes." Don't miss a word of it. Or a word of this other article, which is mostly about men (and a few women) who are really, really great and righteous.

---

See more posts by Nicole Cliffe

125 comments

“I must not forget, I thought, that I have been happy, that I am being happier than one can be. But I forget, I’ve always forgotten.”
—Clarice Lispector, Near to the Wild Heart