Every time I learn something new about the residual system within the streaming era I see red. This weekend it’s the fact that Eric Kripke, the man who created Supernatural, the hit show that went on for 15 seasons, at nearly 22 episodes per season, from 2005-2020, has never received residuals from Netflix.
It’s crazy that these strikes are happening given that all the writers and actors are asking for is less than 0.3% of the revenue these studios make.
This is what gets me. The writers and actors aren’t asking for much but these CEOs are digging their heels in
It’s because it sets a precedent that the CEOs are terrified to set. That they will acquiesce to worker demands if the workers are resolute enough.
Because in an ideal world for these rich fucks, the workers give up, and the CEOs win, and its reinforced in the collective public mindset that all a strike does is “disrupt the economy, deprive people of valuable products, and waste people’s time”. The goal is to maintain the assertion that Strikes Don’t Work. I don’t think they genuinely give a shit about 0.15% of their revenue. What they care about is the OPTICS.
They cannot back down, for the exact same reason that WORKERS cannot back down. Because if the workers win, it shows people just that bit more that The Poors have power and ultimately we can make the rich do what we want if we put our fucking minds to it. And that, to the rich, is bad news bears to the highest degree.
I love the Fairphone’s ethos. It’s an Android-powered, modular smartphone that you can repair yourself. The company, same name as its product, launched its fifth-generation flagship, the Fairphone 5, and the device is Fairphone’s most polished product yet, with an OLED display, increased water resistance, and a bigger…
Because I am the sort of nerd who keeps track of these things, I will note that today marks the 20th anniversary of the first time I ever attended a science fiction convention. On August 28, 2003, having sold Old Man’s War to Tor at the beginning of that year, I decided it was time to meet my future audience and headed to Toronto, Canada to attend that year’s Worldcon, Torcon 3. I went to the airport to board a plane, forgot Toronto was in a different country and I would need a passport to travel, raced home for documents and then drove to Toronto, speeding all the way, to arrive just in time for my very first panel ever (“Day Jobs for Writers”). I was the last panelist to arrive so of course they made me be the moderator. And thus, I was unceremoniously tossed into the deep end of the science fiction convention pool, almost literally before I had caught my breath.
I understand that, here in 2023, it might seem implausible to some that I, Hugo winner and noted mega science fiction nerd John Scalzi, would have attended my very first science fiction convention at the relatively advanced age of (checks math) 34. But, remember, and in some cases, know for the first time, that up until I sold Old Man’s War to Tor, the writing sphere I had mostly existed in had been journalism. Yes, I had been reading and enjoying science fiction all my life, among other genres, but my writing focus was elsewhere. Socially I had never been tied into science fiction or what we would generally now understand as “nerd culture.” Yes, I was a nerd — I was a writer, the Venn diagram there has substantial overlap — but being a nerd wasn’t central to my identity, either personally or professionally.
What was my professional identity? Well, in 2003, I was mostly writing freelance journalism and corporate marketing, and occasional non-fiction books, and I was actually pretty happy about that state of affairs. I had sort of fallen backwards into getting a contract for Old Man’s War, and my assumption, even after getting a contract with Tor for that book and another book to be named later (it became The Android’s Dream), was that novel writing and science fiction would be an occasional side gig at best. I mean, that two-book deal was for $13,000, and I would get that money spread out over several years. On the basis of that, 2003 me did not see a whole lot of potential for novels being anything more than a glorified hobby.
Nevertheless, if I was going to write for the science fiction audience, I thought it would be useful to see who the core of that science fiction audience was. I knew Worldcons existed (that’s where they gave out the Hugos), and in 2003, media cons were not what they are now, or at the very least, there was still enough differentiation between comic book conventions and science fiction conventions that I didn’t see the point of going to the former rather than the latter. Worldcons seemed to me to be at the heart of my potential fandom. Off I went.
I have told the story of my immediate reaction to the Worldcon many times: I got there, did my panel, wandered around and then called my wife (on a payphone! 2003 was a different world!) and informed her I was at the Convention of Misfit Toys. I still stand by that initial impression — there’s nothing wrong with being a misfit toy, y’all — but I acknowledge here in the future that in that particular scenario, the actual misfit toy was me. I was coming from outside into a community and culture that had existed for actual decades (Torcon 3 was the 61st World Science Fiction Convention, after all), and one I had almost no context for, and knew almost no one in.
I mentioned as much to my editor Patrick Nielsen Hayden when I saw him in the Royal York Hotel lobby after I had called my wife; he was, literally, the only person I knew at the whole convention. His response to this was to seemingly randomly grab one of the people passing by, say “Cory Doctorow, this is John Scalzi. John Scalzi, this is Cory Doctorow. Cory, John is your con buddy for the rest of Worldcon,” and then leave. Cory sized me up for a second, said, “come on, then,” and then suddenly my problem of not knowing anyone at Torcon 3 was solved.
I should note that Cory did not necessarily have to be stuck with me for the whole convention. He could have just as easily and reasonably ditched me after an hour or so and gone on with his plans for the day. But he didn’t; he let me pad along with him and as a result I met people and began to form friendships that carry on to this day, mine with Cory not the least at all. And it gave me a sense of how a “big name” writer should be to newbies, that I have tried to emulate since. In 2003, Cory was already a Campbell (now Astounding) Award winner and his novel Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom had come out to much acclaim. He was a Pretty Big Deal, and he treated me — whose novel wouldn’t come out for another 18 months — like a peer. I appreciated it then, still do today, and try to pay forward the kindness he showed me with other writers when I can.
Twenty years on I don’t remember many of the details of the convention itself. I vaguely remember opening ceremonies, I remember how clearly happy Rob Sawyer looked to be given the Best Novel award that year, and I remember watching a new pal on a panel get deeply annoyed with another panelist. What I mostly remember, however, are the people I met and became friends with: Sitting in the bar with Justine Larbalestier and Scott Westerfeld, with Walter John Williams over there in the corner; having lunch with Nick Sagan who, like me, was new to all of this and comparing notes; chatting with Lesley Livingston at her booth because she was a sci-fi TV celeb in Toronto; listening to Charlie Stross after my reading, who advised me to slow down and actually, you know, breathe; getting an author autograph — my very first ever! — from Geoffrey Landis; having a long and amusing conversation with Robert Silverberg without actually knowing who he was; getting shushed with Lucienne Diver because our conversation was distracting a hotel room from an amusing Connie Willis story; and meeting Allan Steele and noting to him that he was the first person I ever sent fan mail to. These among many others are memories not lost in time, like tears in rain, but still there in my head, and happily so.
(There is one memory which I think is especially kind of fun, which is me sitting with Cory and Charlie in a coffee shop and me saying to my new friends “Hey, wouldn’t it be cool if, like, one day we were all Hugo nominees together?” and them very kindly agreeing with the excitable new guy whose first novel wasn’t even out yet that, yes, that would be nice. Six years later, again in Canada, and guess what, there we all were on the Best Novel ballot together! We all lost to Neil Gaiman, sure! But that’s not the point.)
Torcon 3 was the only science fiction convention I went to in 2003; likewise the next Worldcon, in Boston, was the only one I went to in 2004. Then Old Man’s War came out, and I started going to more conventions, and then, eventually, I started going to many, often as a Guest of Honor, which is cool, but sometimes just to show up and see friends and colleagues, which is also cool. I go to so many now that it’s really easy to lose track, and the convention scene is much different now – and a much bigger deal – than it was twenty years ago. That’s mostly good, although I do miss some of the intimacy of the smaller universe that conventions were back in the day.
I won’t be at Worldcon this year; it’s in China, which is a jaunt, and it was moved to October when I’m busy here in the US, doing appearances at other conventions and festivals to promote Starter Villain, my upcoming novel. But I’m happy to say I’m on the Hugo slate this year (rather unexpectedly, from my point of view), and I’ll be at the next Worldcon, in Glasgow, next year. Worldcon is still important to me, and I like to attend when I can.
I’m hoping that the new writers and fans who are experiencing the Worldcon for the first time in 2023 will get to have the same experience that I had at my first: the dizzying disorientation followed by an introduction to a new community, and the beginning of friendships and professional acquaintances that can last decades. Everyone gets their first convention once. I hope if Worldcon is their first, like it was for me, that it’s a good one.
Welcome to the Convention of Misfit Toys, y’all. It’s good to have you here.
For those following the SAG and WGA strikes there’s new shit a-brewing, this time targeting background actors (aka extras).
Some may know that one of the issues SAG is fighting is that studios want to take virtual scans of background actors and use them in perpetuity (meaning forever) without any additional compensation to those background actors. So you would just see a bunch of AI generated humans in future movies based off of a background actor that worked one day.
This is already shitty because working as an extra for 3 days on a union set (if you receive a union voucher each day) is one of the main ways to qualify for SAG eligibility. This means that a lot of actors working background do not yet have union protection and likely do not have an agent or manager to protect them. Disney has already allegedly told background actors to do this on the set of Wanda Vision: https://www.avclub.com/wandavision-background-actors-say-disney-scanned-them-1850709900
There is one main company that supplies background actors for major union and non union productions. Central Casting. They love to brag about their very long influence in the industry - in old movies dating back to the 40s you can hear jokes about hiring extras from Central Casting.
Central Casting has been including an electronic document for all actors in their database to sign as part of onboarding. Signing it gives Central Casting the right to use your images, your videos, and YOUR LIKENESS in perpetuity, forever. They would OWN your likeness. Instead of it being a studio supplying the AI background actors, it would be Central Casting instead.
Receiving any work from Central Casting in the future is conditional upon signing it. No signature = no extra work = no extra income for union actors trying to make health insurance minimums, no union extra work for pre-SAG members.
SAG already reached out to Central Casting to tell them to stop. Central Casting refused.
Edit to say: this is not new. It’s part of actors onboarding and is called the Photo, Image, and Video Release. It’s phrased to sound like you are just giving them permission to use your image and video for CC’s website and promotional purposes. But the actual language is much broader. It’s only recently being brought up as a point for discussion because some casting directors (who are generally supportive of the strike) started pointing it out.
Central Casting is owned by Entertainment Partners which is also a giant software conglomerate and owns a lot of the software used to organize background casting and pay actors. https://www.ep.com/company/about-us/
We will not return to Arrakis in 2023. Warner Bros. has confirmed that Denis Villeneuve’s sequel to the smash hit Frank Herbert adaptationDune will now release March 15, 2024, a four-month delay from its original planned November 2023 release.
Do Not Let HR do this to you. It is not illegal to talk about wages in the work place. I did and got a 12% raise!
True info. Now let me add something: The power of documentation. (I was a long time steward in a nurses union.)
Remember: The “‘E” in email stands for evidence.
That cuts both ways. Be careful what you put into an email. It never really goes away and can be used against you.
But can also be a powerful tool for workplace fairness.
Case 1: Your supervisor asks you to do something you know is either illegal or against company policy. A verbal request. If things go wrong, you can count on them denying that they ever told you to do that. You go back to your desk, or wherever and you send them an email: “I just want to make sure that I understood correctly that you want me to do xxxxx” Quite often, once they see it in writing, they will change their mind about having you do it. If not, you have documentation.
Case 2: You have a schedule you like, you’ve had that schedule for a while, it works for you. Your supervisor comes to you and says “We’re really short-handed now and I need you to change your schedule just for a month until we can get someone else hired. It’s just temporary and you can have your old schedule back after a month.” A month goes by and they forget entirely that they made that promise to you. So, once again, when they make the initial request, you send them an email “I’m happy to help out temporarily, but just want to make sure I understand correctly that I will get my old schedule back after a month as you promised.” Documentation.
[Image ID: Text reading: In the middle of a busy clinic at our practice, I got pulled in by my manager to speak to HR, who must have made a special trip because she lives several states away, and told I was being 'investigated’ for discussing wages with my other employees. She told me it was against company policy to discuss wages.
Me; That’s illegal.
Them: (start italics) three slow, long seconds of staring at me blankly (end italics) Uh…
Me: That’s an illegal policy to have. The right to discuss wages is a right protected by the National Labor Relations board. I used to be in a union. I know this.
HR: Oh, this is news to me! I have been working HR for 18 years and I never knew that. Haha. Well try not do do it anyway, it makes people upset, haha.
Me: people are entitled to their opinions about what their work is worth. Bye.
I then left, and sent her several texts and emails saying I would like a copy of their company policy to see where this wage discussion policy was kept. She quickly called me back in to her office.
HR: You know what, there is no policy like that in the handbook! I double check. Sorry about the confusion, my apologies.
Me: You still haven’t given me the paper saying that we had this discussion. I am going to need some protection against retaliation.
HR: Oh haha yes here you go.
I just received a paper with legal letterhead and an apology saying there was no verbal warning or write up. Don’t even take their shit you guys. Keep talking about wages. Know your worth. /End ID]
At one of my old (shit) jobs my boss would continually come have these verbal discussions with me and would never put anything in writing I took to summarizing every discussion we had in email. Like “just to confirm that you asked me to do X by Y date and you understand that means I won’t be able to complete the previous task you gave me until Z date - 2 weeks later than originally scheduled - because you want me to prioritize this new project.
The woman would then storm back into my office screaming at me for putting the discussion in writing and arguing about pushing back the other project or whatever. At which point I would summarize that conversation in email as well. Which would bring her storming back in, rinse and repeat ad nauseum.
Anyway I cannot imagine how badly that job would have gone if I hadn’t put all her wildly unreasonable demands in writing. Bitch still hated me but she could never hang me for “missing deadlines” because I always had in writing that she’d pushed the project back because she wanted something else done first.
Paper your asses babes. Do not let them get away with shit. If they won’t put what they’re asking you to do in writing then write it up yourself and email it to them.
A terrifying new report from the New York Times claims that “near collisions” involving commercial airliners are basically a weekly occurrence in America. The Times report draws on extensive records sourced from the Federal Aviation Administration, as well as a little known NASA database that holds “safety reports”…
I spent the weekend away with friends and then today I did two interviews, one for print and one for radio, and now I’m surfacing to see what’s going on in the world. Want to come along with me? Sure you do!
Trump Has to Shell Out $200,000 For Bail in Georgia: Actually, as I understand it, he really only has to put down 10% of that in cash, which is probably good for him, seeing that his lawyer bills are pushing him in the direction of “broke” these days, which delights me, he deserves every bit of that. Apparently among the terms of the bail is that he can’t make threats, “direct or indirect,” against anyone who is a co-defendant or witness for the trial, which means that soon the Fulton County Jail is going to come into some money, since Trump is (heh) constitutionally unable to not channel his existential panic through either his tongue or his thumbs. It may be the easiest bail money revocation ever, honestly.
Trump still has to surrender to authorities by this Friday, and it’ll be interesting to see if they’re going to make him do a mug shot. They said they would — he’s just like any other citizen! — but we’ll see.
Elon Musk Admits the Former Twitter May Fail: This is after a weekend where apparently someone poured Fresca into the one remaining operating server, severing connections to links and photos posted before 2014, and of course Musk announced the end of blocking on the service, which prompted enough of an exodus to other services that Bluesky found its own server overheating, as everyone who had been banking an invite there suddenly tried to port themselves over. Musk’s phrasing of the possible imminent failure of his $44 billion trash fire was unusually passive and fatalistic, suggesting that he doesn’t want to take responsibility for his part in it, and/or that he was stoned to the gills as wrote it.
Either way, it’s not exactly the most positive spin Musk could have put on the current situation, which is, remember, entirely of his own doing and every little bit of it is his fault.
Hurriquake! California doesn’t disappoint; not content merely to have its first hurricane/tropical storm in 84 years, the Golden State also unleashed a 5.3 earthquake during the downpour, with dozens of smaller aftershocks thereafter. The silver lining on this particular rain cloud is that so far there don’t appear to be any deaths, and while the storm that broke rainfall records across the state created floods and mudslides, which are not good and can be a danger, it could have been much worse, damage-wise. Take your breaks where you can.
Climate change being what it is, it’s a reasonably safe bet it won’t be another 84 years before another tropical storm hits the area.
Mortgage Rates, Oy: They’re up to 7.48%, which is the highest they’ve been since the turn of the century, and by the way, there’s a phrase that makes me feel old. It’s also by some measures the least affordable time to be buying a house in four decades, so if you were thinking of buying recently, maaaaaybe hold off a bit if you can. Apparently overall house prices are down a bit in the last couple of months, but any savings you get from that would be erased by the interest rates. So if you are in the market for a house right now, sympathies.
The summer of foldables has started fizzling out, and now we’re moving on to the next batch of flagship phones. Google’s Pixel 8/8 Pro is expected to be the next major Android smartphone release this fall. And it might be Google’s first eSIM-only smartphone. Apple went eSIM-only with the iPhone 14 and iPhone 14 Pro…
Priserna för många toppmodeller har skjutit i höjden senaste åren. Enligt spekulationer kommer framtida flaggskepp kosta ännu mer. Yogesh Brar förutspår prishöjningar på mellan 50–200 dollar för ”alla stora flaggskepp” likt Galaxy S24-serien, Pixel 8 och Pixel 8 Pro, Iphone 15-serien och Xiaomi 14.
Google undvek trenden förra hösten genom att inte ta mer betalt för Pixel 7 och Pixel 7 Pro än för föregångarna, medan Apple höjde svenska priset på Iphone Pro med hela 2700 kronor från år till år.
Ett relaterat rykte hävdade häromdagen att Snapdragon 8 Gen 3 kommer kosta så pass mycket för tillverkare att chippet främst kommer användas för de mest påkostade flaggskeppen. Övriga toppmodeller sägs få föregångaren Snapdragon 8 Gen 2 istället.
Försommaren 2021 svarade bara 14 procent att de är beredda att betala mer än 10 000 kronor för en telefon, så flaggskeppen riktar sig alltmer till en begränsad skara konsumenter. För merparten, 66 procent, låg smärtgränsen vid 7500 kronor eller mindre.
I haven’t had the spoons to write for a few weeks, but today, something was different, and I finished my breakfast with an ambitious, totally realistic plan to do a little work on Project Daffodil.
So I walk into my office, sit down, and realize that my desk is a clusterfuck of notes and magazines and stickers and … batteries? okay, batteries, I guess … and more than enough dust to complete the metaphor.
I stand up, and begin Unfucking my desk. It comes along nicely. I move the pile of New Yorkers I’m totally going to read to the top of the other pile of New Yorkers I’m totally going to read, careful not to disturb the pile of WIREDs I’m absolutely going to read.
I declare magazine bankruptcy; into the recycling they go.
Back to my desk. These sticky notes that fell off my monitor can enjoy their retirement catching up on the New Yorker. And I’ll just pick up this — what the? Okay, who even uses 9 volt batteries and why do I have one on my — oh, the smoke detector. Right. This should have gone into the trash when I put in a new battery on Daylight Saving Time. I glace around, furtively, Commander Hoek with his Beloved Ice Cream Bar. Real quick, before I toss it away, I taste it. Just to be sure.
Hm. These Gym Mats have very little battery zap in them. A surprisingly high number of 90s animation references, though. Into the bin.
I sort the stickers. Most will be added to project Cover This Box With Layer After Layer of Stickers. But one of them victoriously emerges from the rest, as a laptop contender. I place it on the desk where it will be … considered.
That’s when I get a closer look at the dust. I don’t know how thick a single layer of dust is, but this is enough to qualify for a blanket.
PRO TIP FROM UNCLE WIL: Iif you’re super lazy like me and hate dusting, you can put the air filter in your office to maximum, close the door, and use your compressed air thing to blast the dust off your desk, right into the air. The filter will suck it all out and you get to decide if you want that to be a dirty joke or not. This is not recommended for people with allergies. Wearing a mask while you do it is encouraged.
The dust settles. And now my work area is clean and orderly.
Well … except for that cable.
SOME TIME LATER
Fucking cables my god why does everything have to be so hard all I wanted was a Pepsi.
But the desk really does look great. In fact, I can feel the creative energy building around me and flowing…
…right into that stack of boxes in the corner, next to the bags of stuff I brought home from cons last year that I was going to sort through right after I got caught up on the New Yorker. It’s kind of pooling there, sloshing up on that Lego set I’ve been hoping to build since the 1900s.
Shit. Okay. I guess we’re doing this. Having unfucked the desk, I now turn my attention to unfucking the entire office.
I make three piles: recycle. trash. keep.
The keep pile is sorted into categories: Presidential Library, Art, Badges, Books, and so on. They will be put away in due time, but I linger on some of them: dice. drawings. notes from people who didn’t trust themselves to remember the words when they met me (I see you SO HARD, friends). And I remember how fun it was before Covid, how hard we’ve tried since Covid to make it fun again, and how much I’m sincerely excited to see my friends, castmates, and fellow nerds again in Austin next month.
I put the keepers away in their various proper places, handle the rest, and look around my freshly unfucked office. Now! I can get to work!
Into the chair. Okay, shake off the cobwebs, open xed and … oh. Wow.
Wow that’s … wow.
My keyboard is so dirty. Like, I need to write myself up for this. How did I not notice this before? Why is that key sticky? Is that cat fur? And is that … is that fucking barbecue sauce down there between the K and the L?
The keys come right off for easy cleaning. I have a little tool and everything.
No, it's not a coincidence: Eric Kripke was a huge Good Omens fan, and always happy to talk about it. (And a Sandman fan and an American Gods fan.) You'll find bits of each of them in Supernatural.
Disneys vd Bob Iger har under en resultatrapport berättat att företaget aktivt utforskar sätt att förhindra kontodelning. Företagets användaravtal för strömningstjänsterna kommer få nya villkor angående kontodelning senare i år.
Iger valde att inte ge en specifik siffra för hur många kunder som delar konton men sa att det rör sig om ett ”betydande” antal. Enligt Iger har Disney den tekniska förmågan att upptäcka kontodelning och företaget hoppas hinna implementera åtgärder nästa år.
Netflix har aktivt förhindrat kontodelning ända sedan början av 2022. De nya reglerna nådde Sverige i maj. Efter Netflix initiativ har det förekommit spekulationer att övriga strömningstjänster kommer ta efter och börja förbjuda kontodelning för att öka intäkterna.
Disney+ kommer dessutom höja priserna i vissa regioner, men vi vet inte huruvida prishöjningen gäller Sverige. I USA höjs abonnemanget från 11 dollar i månaden till 14 dollar med start 12 oktober. Disney har även berättat att det billigare abonnemanget med reklam kommer introduceras i Kanada och i delar av Europa 1 november.
Getting enough steps in to stay healthy might be easier than expected, a new review of the evidence suggests. The study found that walking just under 4,000 steps a day is associated with a reduced risk of early death, while even less than 2,500 steps a day could cut your risk of dying from cardiovascular disease.…
Zoom updated its Terms of Service on Monday after a controversy over the company’s policies about training AI on user data. Although the policy literally says that Zoom reserves the right to train AI on your calls without your explicit permission, the Terms of Service now include an additional line which says,…
Last week, the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers offered to meet with the striking Writers Guild of America for the first time in nearly 100 days. But almost immediately after leaving the bargaining table, the WGA started receiving calls from trade magazines asking for comments on the negotiations.…
The UK’s Royal Mail today shared images of the eight Special Stamps they are issuing to celebrate Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series, marking the 40th anniversary of The Colour of Magic, first book in the series. The stamps can be pre-ordered now, and will … Continue reading →
Remember if you’re out at a store and someone says “This is a robbery” you can say “no it’s not” and then the robber will leave because theyre a robber and this is no longer a robbery .
You can not just say this without dropping the whole story
Ok so,
My dads coworker is at the front and this man comes Up and hands him a document.
The coworker took a Look at the document and while he couldn’t read the things written by Hand, because he wasn’t wearing his glases, he did notice the Logo of a different Bank so he’s like:
“Oh, sorry sir you can’t do that here! You have to go to the other Bank for this :)”
The man, visibly confused leaves, but dosen’t take the document with him.
The coworker, now just as confused as the Guy actually Takes Out his glases and reads the hand written part:
This is a robbery
Can you imagine trying to rob a god damn bank and the teller just cheerfully tells you to go rob the competition instead
I worked as a bank teller for several years and a few things you should know, bank robberies happen far more frequently than you might think and they come in waves. When a bank gets robbed a notification with photos goes to all banks in the area to be on the lookout. And there are two kinds of robbery, the pass the note and the takeover (what you see in movies).
So our branch had had a big takeover robbery as well as a note one. We also had a teller that had transferred to our branch after having been through a robbery. She was sweet as apple pie, hair up to the ceiling, southern lady who had just been through multiple robberies.
A guy comes in and hands her a folded note. Her immediate thought was “this guy needs to learn you don’t hand bank tellers notes. I am just not going to read that.” So how the conversation goes:
Her: how can I help you today?
Him: I’m here to get money
Her: great *hands him a withdrawal slip*
Him: all the information is on the paper
Her: to process the transaction I need you to put it on my piece of paper
SO HE FILLS OUT A WITHDRAWAL SLIP. Meanwhile another coworker is looking at her latest robbery notification email thinking the guy at the window looks a lot like him but the teller is calm and seems to be following standard transaction.
Back at the window the teller notices his name on the withdrawal slip doesn’t match the name on the account so she asks for his ID. He once again tells her all the relevant info is on the folded note but also gives her his ID and says it is his dad’s account. She tells him he will need a check from his dad to get cash. He grabs the note and leaves.
ONE HOUR LATER
Two new robbery notifications hit our emails, both branches within a mile. It is our guy. Teller goes over to the manager and sheepishly informs them he was here and the time. Security department is notified as are local police and the FBI. The FBI comes over believing that these poor tellers had been robbed for the 3rd time in a month and take her statement. She is completely embarrassed telling them how everything went down and he kept signaling to the note and telling her to read it but she was just done.
To which this FBI agent of 40 years who has been to the scene of many bank robberies (several at this branch in recent weeks) says: Ok. Let me see if I got this right, he came in fully intending to rob you. He gave you the note and you just…refused to read it? So he left and went to the bank literally across the street, handed them the exact same note, and they just handed him five grand? Do I have that correct?”
Her: I am so embarrassed
FBI: this is best thing I have ever heard. He even handed you his ID! Holy-
Her: I feel so dumb!
FBI: don’t! This is the best thing I have ever heard. This is going to be in training courses. (He sat there giddy for at least 5 more minutes)
I have a similar story from my friend Fred, who is a great human and I like him lots.
He was working at a 7-11 that got robbed a lot, working nights. And he was bored and read though his entire contract and learned if you’re shot at work you get $200,000. Also, he hated his boss and the job.
So when a guy came in to rob him at gunpoint he got excited and was able to hatch the plan he had been pondering while dealing with a Shitty Boring Job.
“Dude. Shoot me in the leg. Right here- it’ll go through and not hit anything vital and I’ll be able to quit this fucking job. I’ll give you fifty fucking grand to shoot me in the leg then you can take everything in the register.”
This ended with him chasing the weeping attempted burglar out of his store screaming “SHOOT ME YOU FUCKING COWARD I WANT THE MONEY”.
One of my uncles was a branch manager at a local bank when I was a kid. His branch had the dubious honor of being one of- if not the- most robbed bank in the area. There was a bullet hole in the wall behind his desk where he’d been shot at once.
One day, this guy came in and announced he was there to rob the place. This man was smoking a cigar with one hand and had a gun in the other.
My uncle pointed at the “No Smoking” sign and told him in no uncertain terms, “Put that cigar out, or finish it outside first.”
This guy, bless his heart, went back outside to finish his cigar.
My uncle locked the door behind him and waited for the cops to show up.
This is what I like to call the Bugs Bunny Deescalation Strategy
The third incarnation of Reddit’s r/Place has come and gone, and now the social media platform has released a timelapse compilation of the project to highlight all of the whimsy—and anger—of its users.
fireflies lighting up a rural Pennsylvania field at dusk
As a european i sometimes forget furefkied are actually real and not american folklore/cryptids. Like you’ve got friendly little bugs that glow in the dark….. b r uh
in case europeans were worried: we love them very much! even tho they’re clumsy and slow and sometimes bump into you, no one swats fireflies here, or takes them for granted. even grownups sometimes reach out in the summer and gently catch a firefly for a minute before letting it go.
By “reach out” that’s meant quite literally–you just kinda. Stick your hand in their flight path and they land on you and will sit on your hand for a bit. Sometimes if you’re just walking or standing outside while they’re active you have to shoo them off you because they’ll just. Sit on you.
They’re harmless and very pretty and it’s always a treat to see because they’re out for a relatively short time each year.
