Nate Haduch

Chelyabinsk meteor trace Alex Alishevskikh, via Wikimedia Commons Last week's meteorite impact: cosmic coincidence, or a sign of the Mayan apocalypse? Brush up on the nuttiest theories floating around the Web.

When something as mundane as a birth certificate is major conspiracy-theory fodder, it should be no surprise that the folks in tin foil hats have already concocted some not-so-obvious explanations for last week's meteorite crash in Russia.

Read on for our four favorite space-rock conspiracy theories, in order from least likely to most likely.

1. The Mayan apocalypse conspiracy theory.

Meet Gary C. Daniels, the author of several elaborately argued books about the Mayan prophecies. Using the logic of someone with a vested interested in selling Mayan apocalypse theories, he insists that the fact that the supposed date of the Mayan apocalypse has come and gone isn't a strike against the theory. Instead, any natural disaster since December 21, 2012 is just more proof of his thesis:

...[T]he time period after December 21, 2012 should see an increase in catastrophes such as meteor airburst and impact events like the one that took place in Russia on February 15, 2013. I made this assessment based on my interpretation of the ancient writings and astronomical records of the Maya. I argued that the Maya were aware of multiple cycles of such catastrophes which they encoded into their calendars. Their 250-year calendar tracked smaller events and their 5000-year calendar tracked the larger events. December 21, 2012 marked the end of this 5000-year cycle and far from representing the "end of the world" I argued that it represented the beginning of a new age of disasters and cosmic catastrophes.

2. The "it-was-a-weapons-test" conspiracy theory.

This story by the state-owned Russia Today initially attributed the explosion of the meteorite to a Russian missile, but that was just an explanation for the meteorite breakup. Other theories claim the meteorite itself was evidence of a new weapon.

Not to be outdone, Russian ultranationalist Vladimir Zhirinovsky claimed that the meteorite was actually "the Americans testing new weapons." This theory gained traction on noted conspiracy-theory den Rense.com, where the meteorite crash is believe to have been a test of "Gods Rods, the ultimate bunker busters, which strike with Luciferian power despite their name, which came no doubt from the apocalyptic corps of evangelical graduates of the Air Force Academy."

If apocalyptic military cabals with demon-powered weaponry aren't weird enough, this thread at Godlike Productions dives into missile defense, illuminati, Ronald Reagan, and U.S. nuclear testing above Russia--all apparently revealed by last week's meteorite.

3. The alien invasion conspiracy theory.

51% of Ridus readers think that an alien invasion has begun, according to a poll on the news site's home page.... fb.me/1Vww7p2vU

— russiaSLAM (@russiaSLAM) February 15, 2013

Within an hour of the meteorite impact, English-language Russian news aggregator RussiaSLAM had already reported on poll results suggesting that a tiny majority of Russians believed the meteorite was part of an interstellar attack.

Of course, the Russians weren't the only ones to see aliens in the meteor's massive vapor trail...

4. The "we're-all-in-a-conceptual-video-game" conspiracy theory.

Last October, Firaxis Games released X-Com: Enemy Unknown, a video game that just so happens to begin with a meteorite strike that turns out to be the opening stages of an alien invasion:

Gamers over on Reddit immediately jumped on the coincidence, posting "we know what's coming next" within hours of the impact.

On Twitter, a parody account of high concept game maker Peter Molyneux chimed in:

5 minute game where you play an asteroid that is headed towards Earth. Everyone hates you. All you can do is talk, what would you say?

— petermolydeux (@PeterMolydeux) February 19, 2013

This is hardly the first time an astronomical phenomenon has sparked a plethora of alternate explanations. The 1908 Tunguska Event, which most scientists believe was a meteorite that exploded mid-air, has been called everything from an alien crash-landing to a Nikola Tesla experiment-gone-wrong.

Here is a good debunking of some of these theories, and Popular Science coverage of the science of meteorite strikes continues. None of this will matter to the conspiracy theorists still insisting Tunguska was a cover-up, but whenever possible we like to be on the side of Bill Nye and science.

Today on Toothpaste For Dinner: life hacks bourbon

For anyone who's ever been curious about what it would take to switch to a vegan diet and not hate it, Serious Eats' J. Kenji López-Alt is going vegan for all of February.

Last year, I decided to go vegan for an entire month, chronicling my thoughts, challenges, health, and weight the entire time. I thought it'd be a fun exercise, that perhaps I'd gain some insight into my own diet and into the lives of those who live, well, a little differently than the rest of us.

So by overwhelming demand (mostly by my wife, myself, and a few very vocal readers), I'm doing it all again this year, developing 28 brand new recipes, learning from my mistakes, and surely making a few more in the process.

If you've ever had an inclination to go vegan or just test out the waters, I hope that a few of my thoughts and recipes here will help you do that. To get you started, I've compiled all 23 essays and 28 recipes in one easy-to-navigate spot.

(via waxy)

As part of a thought experiment to reform the electoral college, Neil Freeman redrew the US into 50 new states with equal population. In trying to balance the interests of the popular vote vs the integrity of states, he's split the baby so that no one is likely to be happy. Perfect!

The map began with an algorithm that groups counties based on proximity, urban area, and commuting patterns. The algorithm was seeded with the fifty largest cities. After that, manual changes took into account compact shapes, equal populations, metro areas divided by state lines, and drainage basins. In certain areas, divisions are based on census tract lines.

Keep in mind that this is an art project, not a serious proposal, so take it easy with the emails about the sacred soil of Texas.

(via ★doingitwrong)

Tags: maps

The Elderly Wikimedia Commons

Researchers at the German Cancer Research Center in Heidelberg have discovered a particular molecule, named Dickkopf-1 or Dkk1, that seems to have a positive effect on cognition in the elderly. Typically, as humans (and rats) age, they produce fewer neurons, which inhibits cognitive abilities. But when Dkk1 is blocked, older rats tested just as well as younger rats on memory and recognition tests.

Interestingly, blocking Dkk1 also decreases depression--it's unclear if that's due to how that molecule interacts with the brain's neuron-producing parts, but Dkk1 and depression certainly seem to be correlated. A researcher from the facility says they are working on possible clinical uses for a Dkk1-blocker.

Hardworking members of the Somerville Fire Department have been shoveling out fire hydrants as fast as they can. But with more than 1,500 hydrants in the City, they need your help. If you are able, here's a map of most (but not all) City hydrants. Senior planner Brad Rawson whipped this up today. Below are links to neighborhood maps. If you're more of list person, we've got a list too. But for now, if you can help, it could save a life. Thanks.

Ward 1 and 2 hydrants
Ward 2 and 3 hydrants
Ward 4 hydrants
Ward 5 hydrants
Ward 6 hydrants
Ward 7 hydrants

It's not easy to reconcile my preferences for the alternative comedy scene that this site represents and my admiration for an eternally mainstream show like SNL. I want a lineup of weird, dark premises and sketches that establish clear games... and then intentionally subvert them. I want sketches to end with Mr. Show-like transitions, with a character leaving the room and walking onto a new set, where a new sketch begins, and throwaway jokes from earlier sketches to reappear later, like Kroll Show is doing. I want an episode where Nick Offerman hosts, Garfunkel and Oates is the musical guest, Danny Pudi sits silently in the background of every sketch, and Lorne Michaels interrupts the cold open by ironically reciting Wes Mendel's rant from Studio 60 and flicking off the camera.

But the SNL isn't that show. SNL is a show for us and the rest of the TV-watching American public. A show that didn't book Zach Galifianakis until he was in The Hangover. A show that repeats sketches, beat-for-beat, three times in half a season. A show that, when its musical guest was caught lip-synching during a live broadcast, did nothing other than a subtle reference in the following week's cold open. SNL once changed culture, but now, 150 years later, it merely adapts to it. Part of that process is, unfortunately, letting Justin Bieber host and musical guest an episode. But despite selling out, it still manages to surprise us, make us laugh, and give us a weird Fred Armisen sketch.

So while I could hold a grudge against SNL for pandering to a demographic its writers despise by unleashing its teen idol host to randomly sing and dance in sketches for no apparent reason, or for doing The Californians for the sixth time in less than a year (sixth!), I will for the time being put aside my animosity for Bieber and that stupid fever of his that led to us having to watch him fumble through sketches and receive giddy squeals nonetheless. Instead, let's talk about an episode that had some fun with some old characters and took a few jabs at the revered pop sensation in the process.

What Hit:

Monologue. Justin Bieber didn't waste any time before diving into this it-must-be-February bit that merged his love for Valentine's Day and black history by serenading girls and in the audience and then telling them inaccurate factoids like "Denzel Washington invented the peanut." Although Bieber seemed a bit nervous whenever he wasn't singing (a recurring problem throughout the night) and the concept wasn't too inventive, the writers made the best use of the singer's charm and hinted at a point they would drive home in later sketches: Bieber's ignorance to black culture, despite his hip persona.

Bieber Body Doubles. I always appreciate sketches that roast the host — it shows that the host isn't afraid to laugh at himself and that the writers are generating fresh material for that week, instead of reheating old sketches from months before (which dominated the rest of the episode, it seemed). Here, the entire cast was dressed up as Bieber body doubles for security protection, mimicking his singing, dance moves, and his love of the word "swaggy." The jab about Bieber pretending to be black was perhaps the highlight, but I also loved Sudeikis's reaction upon learning that Saddam Hussein — a former body double client — had died: "Oh Saddam. ... You just flew too close to the sun, didn't you?" Kate McKinnon's quick Ellen cameo is exactly the kind of character crossover I'd love to see more of. Watch the sketch here.

Bravo Spinoffs. Though I would say Bravo reality show spinoffs have already been effectively covered by Kroll Show, I still enjoyed the ridiculous heights the writers took the concept here, with Bobby Moynihan playing a gay bear limo driver and The Real Houseplants of Beverly Hills.

Weekend Update. Seth Meyers had some great jokes about Honey Boo Boo and the illiterate town of [Pig Symbol], Alabama, and Fred Armisen and Vanessa Bayer's return as the Two Best Friends Growing Up (IV), this time of recently uncovered tyrannical English monarch Richard III, was a welcome third-beat-style return for the gossiping duo. Kenan Thompson shined once again at the update desk as Corey, The One Black Guy In Every Commercial, a hip but non-threatening token black actor who spends his days drumming Pringles cans and placing Dr. Pepper on turntables. Those who still haven't warmed up to Kenan after this — as well as last episode's hilarious Ray Lewis segment — have no excuse. The guy's been killing it on SNL lately, and long gone are the days of Deep House Dish.

Miley Cyrus Show V. I thought we saw the last of Vanessa Bayer's Miley Cyrus, considering it hasn't been on the show in over a year. Bayer's impression is highly effective in small doses, which is why I'm thankful the writers didn't let this run too long. Bieber's Cyrus superfan fell flat, considering it was just a combination of his skater teen voice from The Californians and his Bieber bashing schtick from body doubles. That said, I did enjoy the weed-smoking apology — from both Bieber and Cyrus.

Valentine's Day Message. As if sending Bieber out to hold girls' hands and show off his abs wasn't enough, here was another appeal to the Beliebers' sexual fantasies... except, with a bunch of random un-sexy stuff. The game here was pretty unclear, but I still enjoyed Bobby Moynihan's Taco character, a bird smacking into the window, and Bieber texting Hillary Clinton a picture of his junk.

Principal Frye IV. Although I'm probably not as big a fan of Principal Frye as Jay Pharoah is, I still enjoy these sketches, if not for Pharoah's microphone gags than for the jokes the writers come up with: "If you get shot with arrow on this holiday, that is not Cupid. There is a hobo with a crossbow in the parking lot." The studio audience was more generous with their laughter at Bieber's nerdy abstinent student than I think he deserved; for me it was Nasim Pedrad's sex-craving girlfriend who stole the scene.

What Missed:

Super Bowl Blackout Cold Open. I had trouble getting behind this overlong parody of CBS's empty-pocketed coverage during the Super Bowl blackout, despite the plugs for Two Broke Girls, Bill Hader's creepy dancing German guy ad, and the cut-to battle between Kenan and Taran. This felt typical of SNL current event parodies: an obligatory, one-note concept buoyed by strong one-liners.

The Californians VI. At this point, it's as if Armisen and Hader's strategy for topping this exhausted premise is pronouncing as few consonants as possible. Sure, there's something fun to that, but good lord, it's time to take a break from the Californians.

50s Romance. This loose parody of "Summer Nights" got stuck far too much in establishing the source material before revealing that the boy Cecily Strong's character was obsessed with was too young and immature for her — "Let's just say he was hanging out with some of the kids I babysit." "Are you saying that?" It's a funny take on the creepy pseudo-pedophilic side to Bieber Fever, but I still prefer Tina Fey's fantasizing teacher from April 2010.

Glice. While this sketch has grown on me since I first saw it, and I admired Taran Killam's performance, I still can't tell you what it was about, or what Killam's character's deal was, other than an obsession with the accidentally uttered word, "glice."

Overall it was a so-so episode. Justin Bieber wasn't any better a host than Adam Levine (who I still think was part of a good episode nonetheless, despite the entire world disagreeing with me). The writers didn't hold back with their material and Bieber seemed game for all of it, but his comedic delivery was amateurish at best and he only looked comfortable when the ladies in the audience were screaming. What an odd turn-on. Still, it was as good an episode as we could have expected from the teen idol, whose turn on SNL was far less about his actual performing ability than his irresistible cult of personality. That may be what millions of Americans wanted, but it wasn't for me.

What did you think? Did Justin Bieber prove himself as a viable comedic talent, or should he stick to his first love of pre-teen seduction? Between Bieber and Adam Levine, will we finally get a reprieve from music stars as hosts? Did Kenan Thompson finally win you over this episode? And is there any end in sight for The Californians, or should we expect a dozen or so more sketches with blond, tanned lovers grunting incomprehensibly about driving routes and avocados?

I'll see you next week, when Christoph Waltz will host with musical guest Alabama Shakes.

Erik Voss is a writer and performer living in Los Angeles. He hosts the Evil Blond Kid podcast and performs improv on the Harold team The Cartel at the iO West Theater.

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This weekend, Party Down cast members Adam Scott, Lizzy Caplan, Ken Marino, Martin Starr and Ryan Hansen reunited for a Q&A moderated by Paul Scheer at Cobb's Comedy Club as part of the San Francisco Sketchfest. It was awesome.

From their interactions with each other, I'm convinced the characters they played are not all that different from their actual personalities; the dry wit of Adam Scott, the goofiness of Ken Marino, Lizzy Caplan's sarcasm, and Martin Starr's “stoner” persona all shone through. But fortunately Ryan Hansen is much more much more likeable than his insufferable character, Kyle.

You can't get a bunch of comedic actors together and expect straightforward answers, so most of the questions were answered with banter and bits — but despite that, some sincere information was revealed as well. Here are some highlights:

• Party Down had one of the lowest budgets on any network show ever. The editors had only three days for post-production after filming, which didn't allow for many improvised takes to make it to the final cut, although the actors tried a lot of things. One of the best bits of improvised footage, according to the cast, was Kyle's response to “can you pop a lock?” in the episode “Joel Munt's Big Deal Party.”
• Many party themes were pitched as potential episodes, but were scrapped because of budget, and perhaps would have been seen if the series continued. One of the party ideas was a pet funeral, but animals are more expensive than extras, so it was deemed too expensive. According to Ken Marino, an idea was pitched where in the cold open, he would announce that he had terminal cancer, and after the credits, the cast would be seen coming from his funeral to their next gig. Ron would leave a posthumous video giving them advice, yet still somehow screwing it up — Ron can't even do things right when dead.
• Jennifer Coolidge was never meant to be a full-time replacement for Jane Lynch; her episodes (the last two of the first season) were still intended for Lynch, thus resulting in her playing the same type of character and the last minute idea of making her Constance's roommate. During the gap between filming the pilot and starting subsequent episodes, Lynch filmed the Glee pilot, which was picked up during the filming of the first season. Jennifer Coolidge was great to work with, according to the cast, but subsequently didn't remember working with any of the actors when asked.
• For the second season, the writers wanted a character different than Jane Lynch. Megan Mullally was suggested by Adam Scott because she was the only famous person he knew who actually watched the show. On the first day of shooting, Mullally broke her wrist, and was thus in a cast and peeking in doorways to hide her injuries for the rest of the season.
• After Jane Lynch wrapped her last episode, many of the cast thought it would be funny to hire a (female) stripper for the party, against Ken Marino's wishes. When it got uncomfortable, they blamed the idea on Marino. In Lynch's recent memoir, she relates the story of how Marino humiliated her. Marino has since been wanting to set the record straight.
• Adam Scott was very welcoming to the guest stars and wanted them to feel included, so he would talk to them at lunch and give them a “Hollywood 45”, asking about the highs and lows of their careers. The cast had high praise for all the guest stars, but named Steve Guttenberg as one of the most memorable and nicest to work with. Subsequently, his birthday episode was one of their favorites.
• Ken Marino's favorite episode is when the group caters his high school reunion because it's one of the darkest stories he's ever been in.
• In the episode in which Casey watches one of Henry's films, the production got the rights to one of Adam Scott's older films. A very young Adam Scott appears in the film, because the original film was about fifteen years old at the time of filming.

When asked where they imagined their characters would be now, each of the actors hoped that their characters had found their success, but admitted that it was more likely that were still struggling to find happiness and perhaps, leaving the two seasons to be just a slice of the long struggles of the characters. Adam Scott suggested that Casey would likely find out that she was pregnant with Henry's baby, trapping them in a miserable relationship.

Of course, the most anticipated question of the night is if their was going to be a Party Down movie. “We really don't know,” summarized Adam Scott. Although he said he thinks everyone would be up for a continuation of episodes, as Netflix is doing with Arrested Development, because of the busy schedules and career trajectories of the cast, it really seems unlikely.

If nothing else, the love for Party Down can only help other low-budget, character driven ensemble comedies to be given a chance. And we'll always have those twenty amazing episodes...and maybe (fingers crossed) a movie.

Image via Adam Scott.

Robin Hardwick is a writer based in Oakland, CA.

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melonnickmiller:

New Girl Hipster Style ♀ ♂

Red Dwarf Newest Ally In The Search For Habitable Planets like Earth. David A. Aguilar (CfA) A fresh look at planetary data from the Kepler space telescope provides new leads for Earth-like exo-planets.

In the search for stars that can support Earth-like planets, red dwarfs in our galactic neighborhood may lead the way to discovery. Recent research reveals red dwarf stars might host more habitable planets in close orbits than previously thought--just as long as its exoplanets huddle in close enough for light (but not so close that molten lava blankets the surface).

Researchers at the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics took a second look at planetary data from NASA's Kepler telescope because NASA had overestimated the size and temperature of red dwarf stars. Courtney Dressing, a Harvard astronomer, adjusted the data and started looking for planets similar in size and temperature to Earth. Based on her calculations, 6 percent of the 75 billion red dwarf stars studied could have an Earth-like planet, which may not sound like a lot but it's the first time scientists could pin an actual number on these kind of exoplanets.

Why is this important? Because red dwarfs swarm the Milky Way galaxy, particularly around our solar system (they make up roughly 75 percent of stars in the Milky Way). That means, statistically, the closest Earth-like planets may be as few as 13 light years away. Unlike the recently discovered exoplanet in the Alpha Centauri system, these planets could potentially support life.

Not that a red dwarf star would make for terribly hospitable places, unless other conditions intervened. With a smaller star, planets orbit closer, and when they orbit closely, they stop spinning. That means one side of the planet could be perpetual day, while the other side is perpetual night. Nearby planets could help unlock the gravitational pull, while winds might distribute heat across the surface of a habitable planet. Ultraviolet flares could also pummel the surface of the planet if the atmosphere isn't thick enough, or the ocean deep enough. And unlike our sun, red dwarfs don't shine nearly as much in the visual spectrum. But Dressing told PopSci that the close orbit could mean more star shine for the exoplanet, increasing the habitability.

Still, the search is on, and Dressing has some targets in view that could be added to the short list of best places to live in the universe. Next, Dressing will hone in on three planet candidates, roughly 300 to 600 light years away, just outside our neighborhood.

How music enters the brain, and what it does when it gets there.

We know music can profoundly affect us, whether you're the type who gets weepy at a classical performance or kicks a child at a metal show. But what exactly is going on in our brains when that happens? This cartoony infographic from the University of Florida breaks it down, from the ear to the brain. It also includes some interesting notes about the correlation between brainwaves and emotions. Low beta waves, for example, are associated with concentration and alertness, while alpha waves are associated with relaxation and daydreams.

But maybe take some of this stuff with a grain of salt: Taking a class on music education isn't necessarily going to improve your SAT scores, even if picking up the trombone is correlated with bubbling in the right answers.

The Psychology of Music infographic

[viual.ly via VisualLoop]

In the October 2012 issue of Esquire, there’s a fascinating profile of the magician Teller — the silent half of Penn & Teller — at the center of which is the story of how a magician named Bakardy had studied and discovered the secret behind one of Teller’s signature illusions, called Shadows, and was now performing that illusion and selling that secret to anyone who was willing to pay for it. Bakardy had witnessed something beautiful and otherworldly, then broken it down and stolen it. However, as the article’s author notes, Bakardy’s real crime was not discerning and distributing Teller’s method; what Bakardy had taken was something much greater, much more valuable:

[N]ot the secret, but the magic. In [Bakardy's] hands and in the hands of his desperate customers, Shadows risked becoming … ordinary, remembered for what it was only in eulogies.

Kevin Shields spent two years and £250,000 building and perfecting My Bloody Valentine’s sophomore LP, Loveless; the perfectionist auteur finally allowed the record to be released in November 1991, after nearly bankrupting MBV’s label, Creation Records. It was an album full of tricks, secrets, and illusions, the combination of which resulted in some of the most entrancing, powerful sorcery in the history of pop music.

By 1992, 21-year-old Kurt Heasley had unlocked the secrets behind My Bloody Valentine’s magic; in September of that year, his band, Lilys, released their debut album, In The Presence Of Nothing, which stunningly, methodically recreated the majesty of Loveless — maybe not wholly, but convincingly enough that it could have passed for the third MBV album. In a sense, In The Presence Of Nothing made a follow-up to Loveless unnecessary. After all, Loveless was not an album of exceptional songwriting — not in the traditional sense, anyway — it was an album of exceptional sound. And In The Presence Of Nothing proved that sound was not unique to MBV. It could be repeated.

That same month, Bob Mould’s new band, Sugar, released their debut album, Copper Blue — an album that also sprang directly from MBV: Mould described hearing Loveless for the first time as a “religious experience,” and the formation of Sugar was a direct result of his conversion. Ten months later, Smashing Pumpkins released the heavily Loveless-influenced Siamese Dream (which was mixed by Loveless engineer Alan Moulder, who was hired by SP mastermind Billy Corgan precisely due to that connection). Both Copper Blue and Siamese Dream took the sound of Loveless and reshaped it into something much more immediate and accessible; both also stand among the finest albums of their decade.

All of this is to say: At this point, really, Loveless cannot be followed. It has already been recreated; it has already been expanded upon. Its magic has been stolen. It is not merely a classic, it has given birth to classics. It is an icon, no less so than Never Mind The Bollocks or Nevermind itself. Loveless is bigger than the genre that formed around it — shoegazing — but more crucially, it is bigger than My Bloody Valentine. Yes, the album is preceded by some EPs and the Isn’t Anything LP, but those are comparative footnotes: as Tweez is to Spiderland, or On Avery Island is to In The Aeroplane Over The Sea. And like Slint and Neutral Milk Hotel, My Bloody Valentine stopped making new music after dropping the masterpiece, an act (or non-act) that assisted in the album’s ascendance to immortality.

Still, we’ve waited for the return, the second advent. It’s been 22 years, and we’ve had enough sightings to make the wait seem … well, not entirely insane. Shields has been around, here and there; he didn’t disappear. He was working with Primal Scream, Sofia Coppola, Patti Smith, Dinosaur Jr., Yo La Tengo … He toured with MBV in 2008 (and put on one of the most devastating live shows I’ve ever experienced). The follow-up to Loveless always existed in some stage of development. It just never materialized. When noise around the new album got louder and louder late last year, it didn’t feel like a fake-out — we put it on our list of 2013′s Most Anticipated Albums with the earnest expectation that we would indeed receive the album in 2013. Still, even after Shields’s January 27 announcement that the new album could be out in two or three days, we never expected to see it so soon — and when the 29th and 30th passed without incident, we merely assumed the ongoing wait was still ongoing. We couldn’t have been prepared.

And then? It arrived.

I was moving into a new apartment on Saturday, unpacking boxes and arranging furniture all day, and by the time my phone blew up that night with the news, I was nearly unconscious. My computer was in a cardboard box under a pile of cardboard boxes; I couldn’t even attempt to download the thing (and my attempts would likely have been fruitless anyway, it seems). Shut out of the event, I first experienced m b v vicariously, via the rapture and frustration shared by my friends and colleagues on Facebook and Twitter. I was too tired to be jealous. Finally, at 10:43 that night, Amrit posted a stream of the album’s opener, “She Found Now,” which was, at last, something I could listen to on my iPhone. My head clouded by Percocet and Chardonnay — self-medication for back injuries sustained during the move — I fell down on my new couch and pressed play.

I did not know what to expect. I did not know what I wanted, or what would have satisfied me. But immediately, those guitars — instantly recognizable, utterly distinct — lifted me. Around me, the world dissolved. I was in no place to apply critical analysis; I had been transported; I was blissful. Maybe it was the narcotics or the emotional high of finally completing a move after the emotional duress of actually moving, but I felt like I was bearing witness to a miracle.

On Sunday morning, I unpacked the boxes, set up the computer, tracked down the album, and pressed play again. Listening to m b v now, I’m able not only to experience the complete work, but to see it with a bit more clarity.

I can say, for instance, that “Only Tomorrow” has a sweet, poppy crunch around which distortion curls like smoke off the lit tip of a cigarette. Or that “Who Sees You” is a glowing, gliding, mid-tempo, midday dream with a persistent beat slowed to a lull by searing guitars. “Is This And Yes” features a cooing Bilinda Butcher vocal over swelling Stereolab-ish organs and a distant drumbeat. “If I Am” sounds like a summery bossa nova number performed at an undersea cafe, the sounds warped and unevenly distorted by the water. “New You” is a crisp, bass-driven pop ballad with a chiming Bilinda vocal that starts softly, then repeats and multiplies, and eventually becomes a small symphony. “In Another Way” borrows some of the free-jazz elements Shields brought to Primal Scream: The guitars resemble bagpipes or synths — or they maybe become bagpipes or synths — while the steady rhythms almost seem to stretch and contract. “Nothing Is” is a pounding, slow-building cycle of drums and noise. The album’s closer, “Wonder 2,” is a whoosh of organs over skittering beats; Shields’s vocal sounds like it was perhaps recorded backwards. The guitars — guitars? I’m really not sure — introduced at 1:25 sound like air horns, and that sound is reshaped to till it no longer resembles anything at all; eventually, it is lost in the storm that has been building around it.

I can also say that, just as Loveless sounded exactly the way its cover art looked — a blurry wash of pink-hued guitars — m b v too feels like it has been paired with ideal visual representation: blue blocks and smudges and purple letters against a black sky, not unlike the explosion of colors and darkness one sees when pressing hard against one’s closed eyelids.

Finally, I can say that m b v does not sound like music that has been worked over for 22 years; it sounds totally organic and intimate. It sounds like My Bloody Valentine. It sounds a lot like Loveless, but more importantly, it sounds like the follow-up to Loveless: The music has evolved with the artist and the technology available to him, while the artistic voice and vision remains clear and unique. I can’t say it was worth the 22-year wait, because I have no basis for comparison: There is no other work of art that has demanded of me this degree of patience. But I’m glad I was here to witness his return, decades after witnessing his arrival.

Well, maybe not his arrival, but close enough: I first heard Loveless in fall 1992, in a dorm room at SUNY Purchase. I was 18 years old, and coming up on a tab of strong LSD. The person in control of the stereo that night told us this album had more or less been created to facilitate this exact experience, and as I became immersed and lost, I understood what he said to be true. The room buzzed and shook with the slow-motion machine-gun drums and sky-bending guitars of “Only Shallow”; by “To Here Knows When,” the walls and ceiling were melting around me.

Children conceived on that night are now 20 years old — older than I was at that moment. They and their peers have grown up in a world where Loveless is an undisputed classic, essential listening for even semi-serious music fans. I can’t imagine what m b v will mean to them, as they claim ownership of it in dorm rooms around the world. I also can’t imagine there will be another artist in their lives who will ask them to wait two decades for more music, at least not one for whom they will bother waiting, and certainly none who will reward their patience with such a generous bounty. Loveless‘s tricks were stolen and sold decades ago, but My Bloody Valentine have again made magic.

Smart Phone

Paperman accompanied Wreck-It Ralph in the theaters last year but was released online yesterday. The short film is nominated for an Oscar in part because of its aesthetic: it's a CGI-animated film from Disney that looks like it's hand drawn.

Director John Kahrs told Cartoon Brew that the origin of Paperman "really came out of working so much with Glen [Keane] on Tangled." After looking at the work of Keane -- a classic Disney animator who worked on The Little Mermaid, Beauty and The Beast and Aladdin, among many other projects -- Kahrs found himself with a new appreciation for traditional animation and drawing techniques. "I thought, Why do we have to leave these drawings behind? Why can't we bring them back up to the front of the image again? Is there a way that CG can kinda carry along the hand drawn line in a way that we haven't done before?"

The answer was yes. It just required a technology that no one had actually created yet.

Reminds me a bit of what Wes Anderson did with th stop motion animation in Fantastic Mr. Fox...he went back to a more traditional look that made the whole thing look less polished than it might have with newer techniques.

Tags: Disney   Paperman   video

Vodka Screwdriver Wikimedia Commons Would you trust the testimony of a witness who admitted to being drunk while observing a crime? You should.

A new study from the psychology department of the University of Gothenburg in Sweden sought to discover whether alcohol consumption really does lessen your ability to observe and remember. There's already an interesting theory about this--it's called alcoholic myopia theory, and it posits that when under the influence of alcohol, people actually pay more attention to environmental cues judged to be salient, and less attention to environmental cues that aren't salient.

But the findings actually contradicted this theory. Three groups of testers were chosen, and given either plain orange juice, orange juice with enough vodka to reach a 0.04 percent blood alcohol concentration, or orange juice with enough vodka to reach a 0.07 percent blood alcohol level (the latter being just under the legal driving limit in the US and UK, which means these are not really drunk people--just tipsy). Then each group was shown a short video, from a witness's perspective, of a kidnapping at a bus station.

After a week, the participants were brought back and asked to look at an eight-person lineup in which, randomly, the kidnapper from the video may or may not be. The participants were then asked if the kidnapper was in the lineup, and if so, to identify him.

Interestingly, the participants with the highest blood alcohol level actually scored higher than either of the other two groups (though not significantly). That said, none of the scores were particularly good; even the best group was only slightly better than chance. Still, it's a really interesting study. Read more about it here.

Fast Company has compiled a list of all the fake TV shows from the past seven seasons of 30 Rock, from Queen of Jordan to Bitch Hunter. Check out the list here, which is a pretty great trip through 30 Rock memory lane, even if they forgot to include the fake hit BET series Black Frasier.

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Follow @drewtoothpaste on Twitter or join the TFD Facebook Page.

(NEW!) Drew's blog is The Worst Things For Sale.

The Fallen Junior Seau's suicide in 2012 heightened the controversy around head trauma in athletes. Colts receiver Austin Collie [above] received three game-ending concussions in 2010 before he was benched for the season. Doug Pensinger/Getty Images UCLA researchers discover brain damage that previously couldn't be seen until after players died--a finding that could help save players' lives.

Researchers at UCLA have announced a major finding that could save the lives of football players and other contact-sports athletes who've suffered countless traumatic brain injuries.

In the war against head trauma in football, one of the most vexing problems has been how to identify and treat a condition known as Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy. CTE is a form of brain damage that's caused by multiple blows to the head and is believed to be the culprit in the high-profile suicides of former players such as Junior Seau, of the San Diego Chargers, and Dave Duerson, of the Chicago Bears. Until now, doctors haven't been able to diagnose CTE in living people; they've had to dissect players' brains postmortem to spot the telltale signs.

But the authors of a new study published in The American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry claim they've been able to spot CTE in living players for the first time. The researchers used a special kind of PET (positron emission tomography) scan to spot signs of the disease in five former players whose ages ranged from 45 to 73, and who played five different positions: quarterback, linebacker, guard, defensive lineman, and center.

The brain images showed heavy deposits of a protein called tau, which accumulates along neural pathways that get damaged as a result of repetitive blows. As the tau builds up over time in a player's brain, it essentially creates road blocks that prevent brain signals from traveling where they need to. The result is memory loss, lack of impulse control, aggression, and depression. And ultimately, doctors believe, those symptoms can lead a man to suicide.

The implications of the finding are big: Robert Cantu, an adviser to the NFL and co-director of the Center for the Study of Traumatic Encephelopathy at Boston University, called the finding a "Holy Grail." Cantu's lab has been at the forefront of CTE research thus far, but much of its work has been limited to studying brains donated by the families of deceased former players. One of the biggest frustrations for people in Cantu's field has been the guesswork of diagnosis. That could all change if the UCLA study holds true. Being able to spot the disease before it's too late could open up treatment options. If the disease were spotted in an active player, it could inform a decision about retiring. A negative screening for CTE could even be a prerequisite for playing a contact sport: If you have enough signs the disease, you're out.

The UCLA researchers caution that their findings are based on an extremely small sample size--five players--and that further research will have to corroborate their work. In the meantime, another question lingers: How to mitigate the force of those hits in the first place and stop the brain damage before it starts.

If you missed SNL this weekend or aren't one of the 3 million+ people who already caught it on YouTube, here's The Lonely Island's digital short "YOLO" from Saturday, featuring Adam Levine, Kendrick Lamar, and the silent acting talents of Danny McBride. Please help spread the word about this video so that more people see it.

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NBC just ordered up a pilot for a multi-camera sitcom written by and starring stand-up John Mulaney, according to The Hollywood Reporter. The untitled show is a loosely based on Mulaney's life as a stand-up comedian and has been described as "a young ensemble vehicle." Mulaney serves as a writer on Saturday Night Live and has appeared twice on the show to do commentary at the Weekend Update desk. His SNL boss Lorne Michaels is producing the sitcom via his company Broadway Video, which also produces 30 Rock, Portlandia, Up All Night, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, SNL, and the YouTube channel Above Average. Michaels has one other show in development for the fall, an untitled sitcom written by and starring SNL's Kenan Thompson for NBC, but it hasn't been ordered to pilot yet. This John Mulaney show seems like a safe bet with Mulaney's experience as a longtime SNL writer and a popular stand-up coming in handy for his writing and acting duties. It'll be hard for a multi-camera sitcom about a stand-up comedian and his friends not to remind people of Seinfeld, but if anybody can make something super cool to break free of those Seinfeld comparisons, it's John Mulaney.

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By now, you've seen a billion instances of people taking daily pictures of themselves and editing them into time lapse movies set to music. Well, this one is a bit different. It features an unhappy young man who, over the course of three years, transitions into a more confident and happy young woman.

This video makes me happy. And there are dozens of other examples and tutorials on YouTube of people switching sexes. What a boon for those who struggle with their sex/gender to be able to see other people who are going through and have gone through similar situations.

Tags: gender   time lapse   video

This year, the first day of Hanukkah coincides with Thanksgiving Day. Amazingly, this is the first time it's happened since President Lincoln established Thanksgiving in 1863 and it is also the last time it'll happen until the year 79,811. I'll say that again: after this year, Hanukkah and Thanksgiving Day won't overlap for another 77,798 years.

The reason is because the Jewish calendar is very slowly getting out of sync with the solar calendar, at a rate of 4 days per 1000 years (not bad for a many centuries old calendar!) This means that while presently Hanukkah can be as early as 11/28, over the years the calendar will drift forward, such that the earliest Hanukkah can be is 11/29. The last time Hanukkah falls on 11/28 is 2146 (which happens to be a Monday).

(via @hchamp)

Tags: Hanukkah   holidays   religion   Thanksgiving

wenbysocki:

via: nprmusic via: subpoprecords

ABC began airing its low-rated Tuesday night comedies Happy Endings and Don't Trust the B—- in an additional slot Sunday nights earlier this month, but both shows scored series lows (being on without any promotion and up against the Golden Globes doesn't help) on Sundays these past two weeks and they've been pulled from their last Sunday airing, which was supposed to occur this coming week. Happy Endings and Don't Trust the B—- will continue to air in their normal Tuesday slots, until they're cleared out to make room for the Dancing with the Stars results show on March 19th. This will leave a handful of episodes of each show without a planned airdate, but ABC may find somewhere else on the schedule for them later in spring. While the futures of Happy Endings and Don't Trust the B—-both look grim, the network is still fond of both shows. Speaking to the press last week, ABC boss Paul Lee said, "We love those two shows. They're incredibly distinctive, and they’re water-cooler shows...We haven’t made any decisions, but I can tell you that these are shows that we love." If he cancels both those shows, Paul Lee had better greenlight something else he can talk about at the ABC water cooler.

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I had no idea that laundry detergent could be so interesting. Procter & Gamble has done such a good job positioning Tide as a luxury laundry detergent that they can charge a premium for it and people will still buy.

Shoppers have surprisingly strong feelings about laundry detergent. In a 2009 survey, Tide ranked in the top three brand names that consumers at all income levels were least likely to give up regardless of the recession, alongside Kraft and Coca-Cola. That loyalty has enabled its manufacturer, Procter & Gamble, to position the product in a way that defies economic trends. At upwards of $20 per 150-ounce bottle, Tide costs about 50 percent more than the average liquid detergent yet outsells Gain, the closest competitor by market share (and another P&G product), by more than two to one. According to research firm SymphonyIRI Group, Tide is now a $1.7 billion business representing more than 30 percent of the liquid-detergent market.

Because of this premium status and because laundry detergent is not usually well-guarded in grocery stores, Tide has become a large target for theft and subsequent resale, either for cash or crack on street corners across the nation.

What did thieves want with so much laundry soap? To find out, he and his unit pored over security recordings to identify prolific perpetrators, whom officers then tracked down and detained for questioning. "We never promised to go easy on them, but they were willing to talk about it," Thompson says. "I guess they were bragging." It turned out the detergent wasn't being used as an ingredient in some new recipe for getting high, but instead to buy drugs themselves. Tide bottles have become ad hoc street currency, with a 150-ounce bottle going for either $5 cash or $10 worth of weed or crack cocaine. On certain corners, the detergent has earned a new nickname: "Liquid gold." The Tide people would never sanction that tag line, of course. But this unlikely black market would not have formed if they weren't so good at pushing their product.

Please don't let this be a hoax, it's almost too good to be true. (via @mulegirl)

Tags: crime   drugs   economics   Procter and Gamble

Death Star YouTube "This Isn't the Petition Response You're Looking For" There has been a great disturbance in the internet, as if millions of geeky voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. The White House has denied a petition to build a Death Star.

Alas, it would've been a boon to our military defense and national pride. But at least they made a good joke about it. Here's the full response:

This Isn't the Petition Response You're Looking For
By Paul Shawcross

The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn't on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:

• The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
• The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
• Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

However, look carefully (here's how) and you'll notice something already floating in the sky -- that's no Moon, it's a Space Station! Yes, we already have a giant, football field-sized International Space Station in orbit around the Earth that's helping us learn how humans can live and thrive in space for long durations. The Space Station has six astronauts -- American, Russian, and Canadian -- living in it right now, conducting research, learning how to live and work in space over long periods of time, routinely welcoming visiting spacecraft and repairing onboard garbage mashers, etc. We've also got two robot science labs -- one wielding a laser -- roving around Mars, looking at whether life ever existed on the Red Planet.

Keep in mind, space is no longer just government-only. Private American companies, through NASA's Commercial Crew and Cargo Program Office (C3PO), are ferrying cargo -- and soon, crew -- to space for NASA, and are pursuing human missions to the Moon this decade.

Even though the United States doesn't have anything that can do the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs, we've got two spacecraft leaving the Solar System and we're building a probe that will fly to the exterior layers of the Sun. We are discovering hundreds of new planets in other star systems and building a much more powerful successor to the Hubble Space Telescope that will see back to the early days of the universe.

We don't have a Death Star, but we do have floating robot assistants on the Space Station, a President who knows his way around a light saber and advanced (marshmallow) cannon, and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, which is supporting research on building Luke's arm, floating droids, and quadruped walkers.

We are living in the future! Enjoy it. Or better yet, help build it by pursuing a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field. The President has held the first-ever White House science fairs and Astronomy Night on the South Lawn because he knows these domains are critical to our country's future, and to ensuring the United States continues leading the world in doing big things.

If you do pursue a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field, the Force will be with us! Remember, the Death Star's power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force.

Paul Shawcross is Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget

Wow, what an incredible week we’ve had! Al Roker pooped his pants at the white house, Courtney Cox talked about how she peed on the grass to show her dogs how they should pee on the grass which is definitely something that you should keep to yourself even if you think it’s a charming story, I feel like you should have someone in your circle who tells you not to tell that story, the Oscar nominations were announced, the People’s Choice Awards happened, Zooey Deschanel FINALLY explained her name. Jesus Christ! And now all we can do is sit back, relax, and look at GIFs that are about or at least vaguely reference some of those things. Perfect. #dance (Also, ATTENTION ANYONE WHO LIKES BEAUTIFUL MEN: There are a bunch of Ryan Lochte GIFs in here, and holy moly that guy.)

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Here's a brand new clip from Nick Kroll's Comedy Central series Kroll Show in which he and SNL writer John Mulaney reprise their "Oh, Hello" characters, George St Geegland (Mulaney) and Gil Faizon (Kroll). Kroll and Mulaney created the characters, a pair of Alan Alda-obsessed, Upper West Side, middle-aged divorcees, whom they've  played onstage and in viral videos since 2008. In this clip, George and Gil are hosting a prank show called Too Much Tuna, pulling a fun joke on Gil's stepson Elon (played by Kroll Show writer Joe Mande). Kroll Show premieres next Wednesday at 10:30, but is it too soon to start hoping for an "Oh, Hello" spin-off?

And if you're a Nick Kroll fan, be sure to check out his character "Bobby Bottleservice's top 10 most awesomeist moviez of 2012" on Tumblr.

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30 Rock has just three weeks left before it ends its run, and Jimmy Fallon had the core cast – Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin, Tracy Morgan, Jane Krakowski, and Jack McBrayer – on his show last night to discuss the show and to say goodbye. Fallon ditched his desk to just sit around with the gang and chat like Oprah, and you can watch the rest of the show after the jump, which also includes Tracy Morgan covering a Boyz II Men song.

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