We got married because we made a good team. We are good at doing things together; in fact, we enjoy doing things together! Then the wedding planning came along and suddenly “things together” often evolved into "wedding things together."
Now that the wedding is over, I am no longer constantly thinking, worrying, stressing, planning, organizing, and doing wedding things. It left a noticeable vacuum in my life. And while it's okay to still think about the wedding, feel about the wedding, and even obsess about the wedding, I feel like I'm ready to move on now.
But some of the things my partner and I learned and implemented while planning the wedding are going to carry over into married life.
Here are three good habits my husband and I have carried over from wedding planning to married life:
- Stir Fridays
- Tasting Tuesdays
- Wedding-Free Wednesdays
One of the things we enjoy doing together is cooking. So on Friday, we make stir fry together. It's an easy meal to make that has a big payoff!
We shop for ingredients together, choosing whatever sounds good this week. Then we chop vegetables together. Then one of us cooks while the other gets the dishes ready. It's an excuse to hang out together, to remind yourself and your partner why you make a good team.
Bonus: Stir Friday can help you practice working as a team if sometimes you struggle with that!
We wanted to try out different rehearsal dinner restaurants, so we made (and keep) a running list of restaurants to try.
We tried going on weekends, but the places were always packed and sometimes the prices were a bit higher. We decided that there was nothing stopping us from going out earlier in the week, so Tasting Tuesdays began! We pick a new restaurant every week and go out for dinner on Tuesday. If we tried a restaurant but were not quite sure if we liked it or not, we add that restaurant back to the list for later. If we find a restaurant we really like, we add that one back to the list too. If the restaurant doesn’t make it back on the list… at least we had an adventure together trying something new!
We both needed a break from the wedding planning. It was nice to have a no-pressure day, where we had permission to focus on other parts of our lives, where we gave ourselves a break from the stress and worry of our To Do Lists. It was nice to be able to forgive each other, even if the wedding leaked into the day, which it often did.
Wedding-Free Wednesday is a free day to just be together and not talk about the most stressful part of your life. While we no longer have to limit wedding talk, we take turns deciding what topic our Wednesdays will be free of each week. Sometimes it's family, sometimes it's friends, sometimes it's work. Work is a bit tough, because we still have to go to work, but at least we don’t have to rehash the problems of the day when we get home.
When your relationship is overshadowed by stress, it can be a pretty miserable experience. When you have islands of time where the stress is brushed aside, overlooked, and perhaps even forgotten while you focus on each other and your relationship without all the guilt or pressure, your relationship in general becomes a lot more fun!
Inspired by wedding planning, work, or whatever: What are some stress-fighting relationship habits you've adopted?
- Jennifer: I read the title of wedding-free Wednesday, and thought maybe it would be a day for you and your husband … [Link]
- Erin: In general, we've found that scheduling things works wonders. We're not married yet (September is fast approaching though), and … [Link]
- KathyRo: What great ideas! [Link]
- KendraD: Our big enlightenment moment came when my husband had to do the Myers-Briggs assessment during his MBA course. In addition … [Link]