Shainaf87

the-absolute-best-posts:

this cat is cooler than i’ll ever be

I was talking with a group of guy friends recently, the sole woman amid a collection of dudes as they stream-of-consciousness workshopped their way to understanding the ongoing storm of sexual harassment accusations. It's not a pleasant position to be in -- I was glad to be able to help them understand things, but thinking about that stuff at that level and having to articulate it that way was exhausting and also made me want to go home and take, like, twelve showers. But they and others have asked what they need to know and what insights they need to have when discussing sexual harassment with women. So here's some.

Read more →

Filthy scary alien monster cyborg goth drag is in the club.

If a tree skirt is too fussy and old fashioned, we have a super chic alternative. READ MORE...

From Bill Clinton to Roy Moore all the way back to Thomas Jefferson.

Tap into the holiday spirit with these podcasts, whether you’re looking for some history, tips, a little existential perspective or simply to be entertained.

Accompanied by harp, Björk's new song captures the innocence, uncertainty and giddiness of new love.

(Image credit: Facebook)

After the news broke about Louis C.K. and sexual misconduct, my mind ran over C.K.’s work, his stand-up, his curmudgeonly late-night appearances, his intimate, formally adventurous TV works, and my thoughts landed on someone else. I thought about Lena Dunham. They’ve been linked in my mind for years, ever since ... More »

I ripped that headline off Kelela’s tweet about her new video “Blue Light,” the latest single off her excellent debut album Take Me Apart. In this Helmi-directed clip, Kelela sways while her locs grow, forcing her clothes off her body and winding their away around her. In terms of existing media, it’s reminiscent of “…

Read more...

Every year, America anoints a “must-have” toy item, which parents must dutifully acquire or accept that they are basically a villain in their child’s own personal fairy tale. Last year, it was the “Hatchimal.” This year, it looks to be something called a “Fingerling.”

Read more...

Another Halloween, another Jimmy Kimmel Live candy prank!

For the seventh year straight, parents submitted recordings of their kids turning into MONSTERS thinking all their Trick or Treat earnings had disappeared because mommy and daddy got hungry.

While Kimmel is off this week, the beloved segment still aired on Thursday with guest host Jennifer Lawrence introducing the "Hey Jimmy Kimmel, I Told My Kids I Ate All Their Halloween Candy!" monster mash-up.

Video: Jennifer Lawrence Interviewed Kim Kardashian On Kimmel!

The reactions included sobbing, screaming, begging, and one very rude gesture from a smirking toddler. If you think that's bad, one outraged tot declared that eating his candy is "why I don't love you." Ouch...

Did any of the children forgive their sneaky parents? Watch the clip (below) to find out!

[Image via YouTube.]

Century Park in Vernon Hills has become the first park district property in Illinois to receive an arboretum accreditation under the Morton Arboretum’s international ArbNet program.

The Vernon Hills Park District’s application was approved this week. Officials at the Morton Arboretum say the north...

the-absolute-best-gifs:

Hahahahaha wait but the little duck literally just shit on the floor

Whether you were taught about it in elementary school, or learned about it in high school art class, you probably have, in your mind, at least a vague picture of the color wheel. Colors that occur opposite each other on the color wheel are called complementary colors, and are said to be especially dynamic together, because they contain the entire spectrum of light. So if you want a color to really zing, pair it with its complement.

READ MORE »

There are some things even your best fart noises can't possibly compete with. I wouldn't read too much into this bit of one-upmanship. Moishe's parents spend most of their time lifting each other up in love and togetherness, so the occasional zinger doesn't hurt too badly. This is the latest from Lunarbaboon.

When I was little, I always imagined building forts out of sticks or rafts with ropes to float down the river like the Boxcar Children or Huck Finn – completely not realizing that probably wouldn't happen in suburban Florida. But I was always drawn to how people could create things with minimal supplies and loads of inventiveness. When it came time for this tutorial I remembered using Japanese square lashing for a no-weave wall hanging and realized, hey, lashings are used all the time to build simple structures! Surely it can support a few blankets. And guess what, friends, it totally can.

READ MORE »

shingojira:

kids in middle school are younger than this powerful image

lordflacko91:

pbh3:

First time experiencing the rain.

I seriously can not wait till I have a daughter to experience things like this with her

Submitted by funnygifs-funnygifs-funnygifs
Click here to submit your own funny post. Please note: submissions must have 1,000 notes to be posted and you must be a follower of the-absolute-funniest-posts.

iraffiruse:

The potatoes have escaped

Submitted by dont-judge-me-punk
Click here to submit your own funny post. Please note: submissions must have 1,000 notes to be posted and you must be a follower of the-absolute-funniest-posts.

October 18–24 by Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21–April 19): "I am my own muse," wrote painter Frida Kahlo. "I am the subject I know best. The subject I want to know better." Would you consider trying out this perspective for a while, Aries? If so, you might generate a few ticklish surprises. You may be led into mysterious areas of your psyche that had previously been off-limits. You could discover secrets you've been hiding from yourself. So what would it mean to be your own muse? What exactly would you do? Here are some examples. Flirt with yourself in the mirror. Ask yourself impertinent, insouciant questions. Have imaginary conversations with the person you were three years ago and the person you'll be in three years.

TAURUS (April 20–May 20): "Happiness comes from getting what you want," said poet Stephen Levine, whereas joy comes "from being who you really are." According to my analysis of the astrological omens, the coming weeks will bear a higher potential for joy than for happiness. I'm not saying you won't get anything you want. But I do think that focusing on getting what you want would sap energy from the venture that's more likely to thrive: an unprecedented awakening to the truth of who you really are.

GEMINI (May 21–June 20): Sigmund Freud was a medical doctor who laid the groundwork for psychoanalysis. Throughout the 20th century, his radical, often outrageous ideas were a major influence on Western culture. When Freud was 50, he discovered a brilliant psychiatrist who would become his prize pupil: Carl Jung. When the two men first met in Vienna in 1907, they conversed without a break for 13 consecutive hours. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you could experience a comparable immersion sometime soon: a captivating involvement with a new influence, a provocative exchange that enchants you, or an adventure that casts a potent spell.

CANCER (June 21–July 22): In the next 12 months, I hope to help you track down new pleasures and amusements that teach you more about what you want out of life. I will also be subtly reminding you that all the world's a stage, and will advise you on how to raise your self-expression to Oscar-worthy levels. As for romance, here's my prescription between now and October 2018: The more compassion you cultivate, the more personal love you will enjoy. There'll be another perk, too, if you lift your generosity into a higher octave: You will be host to an enhanced flow of creative ideas.

LEO (July 23–Aug 22): Are you interested in diving down to explore the mysterious and evocative depths? Would you be open to spending more time than usual cultivating peace and stillness in a sanctuary? Can you sense the rewards that will become available if you pay reverence to influences that nurture your wild soul? I hope you'll be working on projects like these in the coming weeks, Leo. You'll be in a phase when the single most important gift you can give yourself is to remember what you're made of and how you got made.

VIRGO (Aug 23–Sept 22): Louisa May Alcott wrote a novel that was regarded as too racy to be published until a century after her death. "In the books I read, the sinners are more interesting than the saints," says Alcott's heroine, Rosamund, "and in real life, people are dismally dull." I boldly predict that in the coming months, Virgo, you won't provide evidence to support Rosamund's views. You'll be even more interesting than you usually are, and will also gather more than your usual quota of joy and self-worth—but without having to wake up even once with your clothes torn and your head lying in a gutter after a night of forlorn debauchery.

LIBRA (Sept 23–Oct 22): A woman I know, Caeli La, was thinking about relocating from Denver to Brooklyn. She journeyed across the country and visited a prime neighborhood in her potential new headquarters. Here's what she reported on her Facebook page: "In the last three days, I've seen three different men on separate occasions wearing sundresses. So this is definitely the right place for me." What sort of signs and omens would tell you what you need to do to be in the right place at the right time, Libra? I urge you to be on the lookout for them in the coming weeks. Life will be conspiring to provide you with clues about where you can feel at peace, at home, and in the groove.

SCORPIO (Oct 23–Nov 21): Simon & Garfunkel released their first album in the spring of 1965. It received a modest amount of airplay, but the two musicians were so discouraged by the reception that they stopped working together. Then Bob Dylan's producer Tom Wilson got permission to remix "The Sounds of Silence," a song on the album. He added rock instruments and heavy echo to Simon & Garfunkel's folk arrangement. When the tune was rereleased in September 1965, it became a huge hit. I bring this to your attention, Scorpio, because I suspect you're now at a point comparable to the time just before Wilson discovered the potential of "The Sounds of Silence."

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22–Dec 21): "Consider how hard it is to change yourself," wrote author Jacob M. Braude, "and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others." Ninety-nine percent of the time, I'd advise you and everybody else to surrender to that counsel as if it were an absolute truth. But I think you'll be the exception to the rule in the coming weeks. Far more than usual, you will have the power to change yourself. And if you succeed, your self-transformations will be likely to trigger good changes in people around you. Here's another useful tip for the near future, courtesy of Braude: "Behave like a duck. Keep calm and unruffled on the surface, but paddle like the devil underneath."

CAPRICORN (Dec 22–Jan 19): In 1969, two earthlings walked on the moon for the first time. To ensure that astronauts Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin landed there and returned safely, about 400,000 people labored and cooperated for many years. I suspect that in the coming months, you may be drawn to a collaborative project that's not as ambitious as NASA's, but nevertheless fueled by a grand plan and a big scope. And according to my astrological calculations, you will have even more ability than usual to be a driving force in such a project. Your power to inspire and organize group efforts will be at a peak.

AQUARIUS (Jan 20–Feb 18): I predict your ambitions will burn more steadily in the coming months, and will produce more heat and light than ever before. You'll have a clearer conception of exactly what it is you want to accomplish, as well as a growing certainty of the resources and help you'll need to accomplish it. Hooray and hallelujah! But keep this in mind, Aquarius: As you acquire greater access to meaningful success—not just the kind of success that merely impresses other people—you'll be required to take on more responsibility. Can you handle that? I think you can.

PISCES (Feb 19–March 20): What's your top conspiracy theory? Does it revolve around the Illuminati, the occult group that is supposedly plotting to abolish all nations and create a world government? Or does it involve the stealthy invasion by extraterrestrials that are allegedly seizing mental control over human political leaders and influencing them to wage endless war and wreck the environment? Or is your pet conspiracy theory more personal? Maybe you secretly believe that the difficult events you experienced in the past are so painful and debilitating that they will forever prevent you from fulfilling your fondest dream. Well, Pisces. I'm here to tell you that whatever conspiracy theory you most tightly embrace is ready to be disproven once and for all. Are you willing to be relieved of your delusions?

Homework: Imagine that one of your heroes comes to you and says, "Teach me the most important things you know." What would you say? Testify at freewillastrology.com.

A school in Cork, Ireland captured some pretty eerie footage on its security cameras. In the wee hours of the morning of October 1, the cameras caught a flurry of activity and noise with out a soul in sight. Whether the havoc wrecked was the work of a ghost with a super strong brand (the first of October? masterful) or a frightfully good school AV team has yet to be determined, but if you feel like giving yourself the heebie-jeebies, check it out.

READ MORE »

ateabadhotdoganddied:

but seriously wtf is this

boogersplooge:

how to walk like a queen

This is the best acting lesson I have ever seen in my life

There are plenty of organizations doing good work in Texas. But do not trust Red Cross. by Katie Herzog

In the wake of the ongoing disaster in Houston, politicians, news organizations, celebrities—and even our own Dan Savage—have urged people to donate to Red Cross. DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM. Despite being the go-to charity whenever disaster strikes, the truth is, Red Cross is incompetent at best, evil at worst.

Take Hurricane Sandy. An investigation by ProPublica and NPR found that in the aftermath of Sandy, Red Cross was unable to provide even basic aid to those in need. Instead, they used 40 percent of available disaster relief trucks as backdrops for news conferences. From ProPublica:

According to interviews and documents, the Red Cross lacked basic supplies like food, blankets and batteries to distribute to victims in the days just after the storms. Sometimes, even when supplies were plentiful, they went to waste. In one case, the Red Cross had to throw out tens of thousands of meals because it couldn’t find the people who needed them.

Their mismanagement after the Haitian earthquake of 2010 was even more egregious: After Red Cross received a half billion dollars in donations, that money largely disappeared. In 2015, Red Cross said it used the funds to provide housing for over 130,000 Haitians, but in reality, they built all of six permanent homes. Yes, six. As for the rest of the money, 25 percent—or $125 million—was used for internal expenses.

So, don't fucking donate to Red Cross. There are plenty of actual charitable organizations on the ground in Texas doing good work. NPR has a list, or check out Global Giving, a group that vets local nonprofits and distributes funds to those that actually work.

And, for the record, Red Cross isn't the only bullshit "charity" scooping up your money and using it to line their executives' pockets. Always, always, always do your research before you give. Charity Navigator is a good place to start. If a big national organization doesn't have 4 stars, give your money to someone else.

[ Comment on this story ]

[ Subscribe to the comments on this story ]

behindthegrooves:

On this day in music history: August 17, 1983 - “Delirious” by Prince is released. Written and produced by Prince, it is thirteenth single release for the singer, songwriter and musician from Minneapolis, MN. Prince records the basic track (playing all of the instruments himself) for “Delirious” at Sunset Sound Recorders in Hollywood on May 9, 1982, with additional overdubs recorded at Prince’s home studio outside of Minneapolis, MN. The song is a substitution for “Turn It Up” which was recorded earlier during the “1999” sessions. Prince feels that “Delirious” is a much stronger track than “Turn it Up” which is bumped from the final running order of the album and to this day remains unofficially released, but has surfaced in bootleg form. The US pressing of the single is issued with a limited edition poster sleeve that unfolds into a calendar that becomes a collector’s item. The single also includes the non-LP B-side “Horny Toad”. Issued as the third single from the “1999” album, “Delirious” becomes Prince’s second top 10 pop single in the US, peaking at #8 on the Hot 100 on October 22, 1983 and #18 on the R&B singles chart. Originally clocking in at 3:56 on the album, the single is released with some pressings containing the album version, and another edited down by over one full minute to 2:36. In recent years, a significantly longer version of the master take running just over six minutes surfaces, circulating as a high quality bootleg among fans.

Early in Whitney: Can I Be Me, a new Showtime documentary that explores the issues that led to the demise of Whitney Houston, one of the most purely talented pop singers in music history, Houston is shown onstage in 1999, preparing to kick into the climactic, vocally daunting final chorus ... More »

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

oh shit wasn’t expecting that at all