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Crack-smoking Toronto Mayor’s Favorability Now Nine Points Above Barack Obama’s. Just goes to prove there’s something about a man that smokes a pipe.

Anti-gun Democrats – this is why we can’t take you seriously. Seriously, can this moron find his ass with both hands?

Nick Santonastasso prepares to scare Norman Reedus.

(Credit: Video screenshot by Amanda Kooser/CNET)

One of the most memorable zombies to ever scare the bejeezus out of audiences on "The Walking Dead" showed up in the very first episode of the series. The decomposing, legless female zombie pulled herself over the ground and forever crawled into the popular zombie imagination.

High school student Nick Santonastasso has just entered the pantheon of great zombies with an assist from cast and crew members of the "The Walking Dead."

Santonastasso was born with one arm and no legs as a result of the rare genetic disorder Hanhart syndrome. He is also a massive fan of "The Walking Dead." He had already parlayed his appearance into a series of extremely effective zombie pranks where he freaked out unsuspecting people in the aisles of a store.

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RUSSIAN NEWS agencies have reported today that the country’s president, Vladimir Putin, had his pet dog put down after it ‘dry humped’ another dog of the same sex.

The leader of the once soviet state was said to be devastated at the death of his 4-year-old pooch, but said it was a necessary evil to stamp out perversion in the canine community.

Stalin, a Bulgarian shepherd, was reported to have been found by Mr. Putin humping a fellow Russian politicians Poodle, while visiting his house yesterday afternoon. It is understood both dogs were humanly put down shortly after the incident.

Mr. Putin has recently come under fire for his homophobic stance towards the gay community, and this will no doubt only further tensions.

In a statement issued this morning, the Russian government defended Mr. Putin’s decision to execute the dogs, claiming both animals were mentally sick and needed to be dealt with before spreading the gay disease.

Sources say Mr. Putin is currently looking to ban the breeding of poodles in Russia, as they were ‘the devils dog’.

“Poodles are known in Russia to seduce other members of the same sex into homosexuality.” said a spokesman for Mr. Putins office. “We urge dog owners to report homosexual behavior to their nearest veterinary clinic, were they will be ‘treated’ immediately for free, under a new state sponsored scheme.”

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The latest PR coup for Pope Francis has seen him hire famous and revered children’s author JK Rowling to rewrite the Bible.

It is hoped the author, most famous for her Harry Potter series, can make it more accessible and believable for a new generation of Catholics and Christians.

While the specifics of the rewrite are not yet known, it is believed Rowling is tasked with producing a compelling tale that young Catholics and Christians can engage with. Figures such as dementors and other popular creations may take the place of less realistic Biblical creatures such as unicorns and the leviathon.

“We are very happy Miss Rowling has agreed to the rewrite, we keenly await the first draft,” a Vatican insider told WWN.

Rowling’s selection has raised some eyebrows but the decision by Pope Francis to select the wildly popular author is mainly due to commercial concerns.

“The sales of the Jesus Christ action figure have dropped by over 200% in the last 10 years, we are in need of new, compelling and toy-friendly characters…like the dinosaur in Toy Story,” a source close to the Pope told WWN.

“Our revenue streams are shrinking so the more Hollywood-esque the better,” the source concluded.

Rowling has thus far remained tight lipped on her vision for the Bible and its merry band of characters but a number of Hollywood producers are in discussions to turn it into a movie.

In the last century many Christian leaders have offered revisions on the interpretations of many of the Bible’s passages but Rowling is expected to take a more drastic approach.

“Judas is probably going to wear a leather jacket and JK is toying with the idea of a nervous twitch or even an eye-patch. Also why have one book when can have more? She is thinking of splitting it up into 9, maybe 10 books” the author’s publicist shared with WWN.

A new dieting craze which has been sweeping the Nation since the 1st of January has come under fresh scrutiny following a number of revelations.

Thousands of people up and down the country have been partaking in the new ‘uber diet’ Gutt Ü after leading magazines claimed a number of celebrities had adopted it in an effort to lose that pesky pre-pregnancy, post-pregnancy weight.

However, despite early positive feedback that 7 in 10 people on the diet managed to remain alive, the diet’s critics have pointed to the fact that 30% of people on the Gutt Ü diet have died.

The Gutt Ü diet was the brainchild of Klaus Von Winderbar who drew inspiration from the lifestyle of famine victims throughout the world. Now 80 years of age and a millionaire many times over M. Von Wunderbar was unavailable for comment when contacted by WWN but we spoke instead to leading dietician Maura S. Lessing.

“While typical diets focus on omitting carbohydrates or diary and so on, Gutt Ü involves cutting out fats, diary, carbohydrates, protein and any other sources of nutrition that could hinder weight loss,” explained Lessing.

“You may have a 3 in 10 chance of dying but on the plus side if you survive you have that oft-desired look of malnutrition chic which is of course worth its weight in gold,” concluded Lessing.

Gutt Ü classes continue to pop up around Ireland and elsewhere in the world with the focus being on a quick solution that requires next to no effort from the participant.

“We actually don’t encourage exercise,” Gutt Ü group leader Steve Harding told WWN, “when you get a body to die for through Gutt Ü your bones would be too brittle for any exercise so it’s best not to risk it.”

A newly released document obtained via a Freedom of Information Act request confirms that the State Department ordered the Department of Homeland Security to spare members of the Muslim Brotherhood traveling to the US in 2012 a TSA pat down … Continue reading →

The post DHS Gave Muslim Brotherhood VIP Treatment, No TSA Pat Downs appeared first on .

The residents of New York City can all rest a little easier now. Eyewitnesses said that it took numerous cops to do it, but a dastardly criminal was finally subdued. When an officer saw 84 year old Kang Wong cut … Continue reading →

The post NYC’s Finest Protect and Serve an 84 Year Old Man by Beating Him Bloody for Jaywalking appeared first on .

California State Senator Kevin de Leon made a dramatic presentation during a press conference the other day, displaying an AR-15 that was carefully zip-tied to highlight its “deadly nature”. Judging from de Leon’s speech, it’s probably a good thing it was mercifully … Continue reading →

The post Sh*t Liberals Say: Gun Advice from Someone Who Doesn’t Know the Difference Between a Magazine and a Clip appeared first on .

	ION Audio has this week revealed a new addition to their range of speaker system with the unveiling of the ION Audio Road Warrior Bluetooth speaker that will be launching in August for around $400. The ION Audio Road Warrior speaker is equipped with 200 W of music power from a Class-D amplifier driving two […] (Read more...)

The post ION Road Warrior Bluetooth Speaker Unveiled For $400 (C) Copyright 2013 Geeky Gadgets. Republishing of this feed is forbidden without our written permission.

	There’s no end to the Samsung Galaxy S5 rumors until it’s officially unveiled by the folks at Samsung. Earlier today, we heard that the upcoming Samsung Galaxy S5 will come with a fingerprint sensor, and the addition of an iris scanning technology is unlikely. There’s a new rumor in town that sheds some light on […] (Read more...)

The post Samsung Galaxy S5 To Feature 20MP Camera, Other Specs Leaked As Well (Rumor) (C) Copyright 2013 Geeky Gadgets. Republishing of this feed is forbidden without our written permission.

You'd think that, by this point, people would start being a little more discerning with their passwords. You would be wrong. And here are the 25 most common (i.e. worst) passwords of 2013 to prove it.

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Do you want to avoid burglars and nosy neighbors? And pets and small children? And possibly all other human beings? But do you also have a refined aesthetic sense—none of that ugly concrete, please—and a green thumb? No worries! These anti-personnel plants are as effective as any moat.

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It's usually over in an instant, but when you capture macro footage of a match head igniting at 4,000 frames per second, suddenly that almost instantaneous event becomes a fascinating look into the science of fire and ignition. And believe it or not, YouTuber UltraSlo had to throw an additional 2,000 watts of light on this match head to capture this mesmerizing footage—that's a lot of birthday candles.

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When you're working near your toolbox, keeping an assortment of snips within easy reach for various tasks is a great way to stay productive. But when you're working someplace your toolbox can't go, like at the top of a ladder, Crescent's new Switchblade snips are a better option letting you carry a single handle with swappable cutting heads for multiple tasks.

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After Intel very publicly announced some huge and ambitious plans for its internet TV service, it's just announced that it's... selling the project to Verizon.

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If you're a smoker who's always got a disposable Bic lighter on hand, it's time to ask more of that small accessory taking up space in your pocket. The LighterBro is basically designed to serve as a case for your Bic lighter that also happens to give it amazing slicing, repairing, and bottle opening powers.

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It’s only been two weeks since marijuana for recreational use became legal in Colorado, but it appears that authorities are worried citizens will already forget pretty common norms. For example: Pot does not belong at the airport, and you most definitely can’t bring it on a plane. The Colorado Springs Airport is ready to help, however, with new “pot amnesty boxes.”

Let’s be clear: Amnesty is for people who’ve done something wrong, so if you remember on your way to your aunt’s house in Ohio that you left a dime bag in your pocket and you put it in one of those boxes, you are surrendering your drugs. Meaning, you’re not getting it back but you won’t get in trouble for having it.

As KKTV reports, the boxes are for whoever accidentally brought their pot with them or didn’t know it’s illegal to have it at the airport. The boxes are on their way to the airport now and could be installed as soon as today.

If you remember in time to get back to your car, however, you can always leave the marijuana there, because it’s legal to do so. Airport officials just really don’t want you to remember when you’ve already made it into the airport.

The ban applies to both recreational and medical marijuana, and it’s a stiff fine if either is discovered: Up to $2,500 and possible jail time. So say goodbye to your stash and use those boxes.

Springs Airport Installing Amnesty Boxes For Pot Surrender [KKTV.com]

With more and more options in premium television popping up, consumer subscription habits are evolving. So it comes as no surprise that subscription video-on-demand services are on the rise, while premium TV channel subscriptions have declined.

Premium TV subscriptions, such as HBO and Showtime, have declined by 6% over the past two years, while consumers flock to SVOD products such as Netflix and Hulu Plus, a survey by The NPD Group found.

However, premium TV still has the upper hand when it comes to consumers. In August 2013, U.S. households with premium TV subscriptions were down to 32%, while those with SVOD subscriptions rose to 27%.

“As SVOD services have gained momentum, it’s clear that some consumers are trimming their premium-TV subscriptions,” Russ Crupnick, senior vice president of industry analysis for The NPD Group said in a news release. “As SVOD increasingly strives to become a channel itself, viewers might consider it to be an adequate substitution for other premium channels, or perhaps they are switching to economize on their time and money spent.”

The NPD Group report comes on the heels of HBO CEO Richard Plepler’s declaration last week that sharing HBO Go accounts isn’t such a big deal for the company. 

Plepler claimed password sharing could have a positive effect on HBO’s bottom-line, theorizing that students who share their parents’ account are more likely to subscribe to HBO later in life.

The future of SVOD services – namely Netflix – come under question recently with the end of net neutrality.  A ruling by a federal appeals court last week gives Internet service providers the ability to charge premium rates, additional fees, or block access to any content provider the ISP wants.

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Cord Shaving? SVOD Subscribers Increase, as Premium TV Subscribers Decline, According to The NPD Group [The NPD Group]

No one likes junk mail. It’s annoying, we agree. We never imagined one simple piece of mail could cause a family pain and trauma, but it did last week. An Illinois man received what at first appeared to be an ordinary mailing from OfficeMax, except under his name was the line “daughter killed in car crash”.

While it might seem like a shot in the dark, it wasn’t. The man and his family are still dealing with the aftermath of his 17-year-old daughter’s death in a car accident last year, the Los Angeles Times reports.

How did OfficeMax get ahold of this very personal information? The man says he’s not a regular customer and would never tell anyone from OfficeMax about the crash.

OfficeMax officials said in a statement that the mailing is the result of a list rented through a third-party provider and offered their apologies to the man and his family.

Recently, consumers and privacy groups have become more concerned over what personal data is available to the world.

Earlier this month a report by the U.S. Government Accountability Office looked at how GPS devices track consumers’ private information. The report found that most companies delete personal information but they don’t always tell consumers how it’s used.

In November, millions of consumers’ private information was at risk after Target’s in-store credit and debit card systems were hacked. Just last week non-Target customers were left wondering how the company got their contact information after receiving emails about the hack.

While the OfficeMax mailing blunder isn’t the result of a hack, it still raises questions of how such personal information is available to companies.

OfficeMax has not revealed who they received the mailing list from.

Dad gets OfficeMax mail addressed ‘Daughter Killed in Car Crash’ [Los Angeles Times]

While most ID thieves are wisely staying away from the more than 100 million credit and debit card numbers compromised by the recent data breach of Target’s in-store payment processing system, two Mexican citizens apparently thought they could get away with using some of these leaked numbers to make illegal purchases.

The AP reports that the two men from Monterrey, 27 and 28 years old, were arrested at the border crossing near McAllen, TX, over the long weekend. They had used card information taken from the Target breach to buy several thousand dollars’ worth of items at stores like Best Buy, Walmart, and Toys R Us.

Police say the Target customers’ whose card information was used to make these purchases were from the same area of Texas that the two suspects did their shopping in.

“They’re obviously selling the data sets by region,” said the police chief in McAllen.

The bogus purchases began on Jan. 12, say the police, who confirmed with the Secret Service that the cards used during this shopping spree were from the Target hack.

Police looked through retailers’ security footage to identify the pair using the fake cards and eventually identified their vehicle. When the twosome attempted to cross the U.S./Mexico border, via the Anzalduas International Bridge, in that same car on Sunday, they were arrested. Authorities say the men had 96 fake credit cards on them at the time.

It’s not known if this is the first arrest made related to the Target data breach, but officials tell the AP that these two men appear to be unrelated to the actual hack.

Target referred questions about the arrest to local authorities.

Playing chess is fun (although we do concede that Space Invader Chess is even more fun). All tabletop games, however, get infinitely even more fun when more people can play. We're guessing that's the idea behind the Three Man Chess, a twist on the classic strategy game that pits three players against one another. It uses the same 16 chess pieces as the traditional game, so there's no wonky new characters to get acquainted with. Each piece also has the [...]