Once again, thank you everyone for reading, enjoying, and sharing this comic. Not just sharing in the sense of re-posting this comic, (which you should totally do) but also sharing your stories with me, letting my know how my comics have touched you. It means so much to me. Love ya!
The epic beach exhibit from the building museum is coming to the potentially epic Dupont Underground and they need your help making it happen:
“You might have heard or read somewhere that the Dupont Underground is taking the 650,000+ plastic balls from the National Building Museum’s blockbuster BEACH installation. It’s true! We’ll be holding a competition for a site-specific installation in our space that will use the balls as both inspiration and artistic/design medium.
FIRST, however, we have to transport the balls from the museum to our space. And that’s where YOU come in. We need people to devote a few hours on SEPTEMBER 7 and SEPTEMBER 8 helping us pack the balls, load them in moving trucks, unload them at the other end, and put the boxes in the Dupont Underground.
Reader Sara told me about some food-shaming dishes. One of the plates says “It’s hard to be around you when you eat like this / Did you really need that second helping? / Please stop eating, we’re worried about you / For the love of God, stop eating.”
Let’s start with my answers in order:
1. See ya.
2. No, but at this point if I stop eating with this fork I’m going to stab you with it so bring on a third helping or get some gauze for compression.
3. I can’t stop you from worrying but I can stop you from talking to me about it.
4. For the love of god mind your own business.
We’ve already talked about the total bullshit that is the “Do you need to eat that” question. But of course it goes beyond that.
I’ve heard people suggest that it’s their moral obligation to tell fat people that we “need to lose weight”, exercise more, or that if someone sees a fat child they need to say something to the caregiver. I’ve been part of any number of conversations where people who had no business or permission to talk to me about my weight did so. I asked some friends on Facebook who had spoken to them about their weight inappropriate. The answers included:
Strangers, Dermatologist, Psychic, Coworker, Father, Sister, Gynecologist, Cop (while giving a speeding ticket), Grocery Store Checker, Dentist, Restaurant Owner, Airport Staffer, MY MOTHER (emphasis by the original author), Grandmother, Girl Scout Leaders, ER Doctor, Coworkers, Waiters/Waitresses, Gym teacher, Nutrition Professor, Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig Employees (when I wasn’t enrolled in services), Softball Coach, Friend’s Parents, ROTC Leaders, Bagel Shop Employee, Other Kids Parents, Palm Reader, Obstetrician, Anesthesiologist, Photography Professor, Dermatologist, Chiropractor, Boss, Boyfriend’s Family, Dress Shop Employee, Massage Therapist.
Whoa. That’s a lot of people who think that it’s their right to say something to us about our bodies.
I won’t speak for anyone but me, but my response to this is No. No no no. World of no. Galaxy of no. Universe of no. No. First of all, how grossly over-exaggerated does your sense of self-importance have to be, and how big of a rock do you have to live under to talk to me as if I’ve never heard the opinion that I should lose weight. Do you think I never see TV commercials? Listen to the radio? Look the hell around? By my count I get about 386,170 messages a year that my body is wrong. So how about you trust me when I tell you that the three hundred eighty six thousand, one hundred seventy first time is NOT the charm.
I think that when someone feels this strong of a need to “save a fatty”, it’s often really much more about their own ego than the person they are supposedly so concerned about. Like an ambitious relief pitcher, they want to get credit for the save. I call this “Pulling a Jillian” as in Jillian Michaels, ego maniac from The Biggest Loser, who can’t stop talking about how she’s saving lives and she’s making people healthy, she’s doing this and she’s doing that blah blah blah. Newsflash Jillian, if you really cared about people we would be hearing a whole lot less about you.
I am a grown ass woman making choices. That is my right. Just like other people get to make choices for themselves. You can decide that you want to eat a raw foods diet or fast food every day or anything in between. I don’t get to decide how you live, it’s not my business. I get to make choices for my body and you have no right to question those choices. (And if you’re even thinking about making a “but my tax dollars pay for fatties” argument, head over here.)
You are allowed to be concerned about whatever you want, you are not allowed to share your concern with me unless I ask. The bottom line here is very simple: This is not a tree and I am not a kitten, so you can put your ladder away.
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Anthony
Oh is an industrial designer based in Singapore and Malaysia. While
working in a technology company designing personal entertainment devices
and computer peripherals, Oh started creating these tiny upcycled robot sculptures from pieces of waste electronics.
“While projects were in the pre-manufacture stage we received a lot
of sample parts of plastic, metals and electronics for quality checks.
There were lots of rejects that went into trash,” explains Oh.
How did people first figure out that it was cicadas that make this noise? I could see that taking a long time.
Were there just like a thousand years where people were like “yeah, the trees are screaming. They do that in the summer.”
Taking a step away from the dusty yet somehow still humid DC summer and into the cool and calm recesses of a museum is one of the pleasures of living in this city of ours. Getting to spend time decompressing with a glass of wine and a project you don’t necessarily need to do perfectly is another.
At Wine and Design, the affordable monthly event sponsored by the Postal Museum, attendees can (for the price of a drink or two out at a crowded bar) help themselves to drinks and snacks while creating a featured craft with the guidance of the kind and generous staff on hand to give advice. Instead of wrestling for space at a popular bar, sit yourself down with a glass of wine at a table covered in brown butcher paper…look around at the almost unlimited amount of craft supplies, and make friends with the people on either side of you, eager to take a break from their phones…listen to the sound of friends laughing about their inability to get paper beads to stick to each other. The stress of your workday starts to fade away in the spirit of creativity found at these events!
Wine and Design takes a note from Handi Hour and other museum-sponsored events, which host live music by local bands as well as offering different crafts directed by various experts. Previous crafts have been making paper beads with stamps at the Postal Museum and making collages with comic books provided by a local comics shop. And if you’re afraid that you won’t be “good,” having a glass of wine or two on an empty stomach will remedy your worries.
The next Wine and Design from the Postal Museum on September 10th will focus on calligraphy. Do yourself a favor, take a break, and go back to arts and crafts.
“For the first time at the National Zoo, veterinarians detected something new during an ultrasound procedure this morning on giant panda Mei Xiang. They believe it is a developing giant panda fetus. Based on the size of the fetus, which is about four centimeters, veterinarians estimate that Mei Xiang could give birth early next week, or possibly in early September. In past years, veterinarians have only detected changes to Mei Xiang’s uterus, which occurs for both a pregnancy and pseudopregnancy. Historically, and since Aug. 7 of this year, Mei Xiang declined participating in ultrasounds at this stage, so it was a surprise when she responded to the panda keepers’ calls this morning.
There is a substantial possibility that Mei Xiang could resorb or miscarry a fetus. Scientists do not fully understand why some mammals resorb fetuses.
The Zoo’s panda team is monitoring Mei Xiang through the Zoo’s panda cams. She is continuing to spend more time in her den, sleeping more, body licking and cradling objects – all behaviors consistent with a pregnancy or pseudopregnancy.
“Today, we are cautiously optimistic,” said Dennis Kelly, director of the Smithsonian’s National Zoo. “We want a healthy cub for all the right conservation reasons. I am excited, but I have to say that we were prepared for a cub even before this morning’s ultrasound. Our expert team of keepers, scientists and veterinarians are going to do exactly what they are trained to do and I’ll just ask everyone to remain positive with us.”
A brief update on Bardo Riverfront – they’ve applied for a liquor license:
“New outdoor tavern with Summer Garden seating 750 patrons and brewpub. Total occupancy load of 750.”
For those not familiar with the plans:
“Initial plans call for riverfront seating, a sculpture garden, outdoor films over the water, DC’s largest dog park, an on site bicycle shop designed to interface with the location on the metropolitan branch trail, and a large outdoor space designated for activation by the local community in the form of farmers markets, swap meets and assorted community events.”
Also a hater of Great Lash. I end up with racoon eyes within an hour of application.
Non-pro, aspiring pro, makeup journeyman, makeup novice, etc.:
We are starting a new series of posts from Tania of Makeup To Go — a makeup artist for the entertainment industries, and friend of the Empire. These posts are all about makeup: the basics, advice, and products. I, for one, am super excited, because I know NOTHING about makeup. So think of these as "Megan simple makeup" posts for folks like, well, me.
-Megan, Offbeat Home editor
Without. A. Doubt. the number one product I am asked about is mascara. All the folks who ask about it — laypeople and fellow makeup artists alike — seem to be on the eternal quest for the perfect mascara. It’s kind of a setup of a question, however, because I also find that mascara is an intensely personal choice. So what I might look for in a mascara someone else may hate, and my “Holy Grail” mascaras might end up in someone else’s trash bin.
All I can do is offer my advice as someone who — because of my work as a makeup artist — has tried a lot of different mascara on a lot of different eyes.
Actually I don’t personally wear mascara. However, having used a lot of different products on a lot of different faces, I have some pretty concrete ideas about what I’m looking for. My criteria for The Basic Mascara are:
Volume: Length can be created with just about any modern mascara with the right technique, but what I really like to add to all lashes I work with is Volume. Therefore, I tend to like thicker mascara formulations.
Definition: I like to pick up every single lash. This adds to the illusion of increased volume and gives lashes that “flirty” look I like.
Non-clumpy: Spider eyes — off the runway — are unattractive. I do not want the lashes sticking to one another.
Long-lasting: Needless to say, having to reapply is a non-starter. Adding more if you want more is one thing, but the initial application should be able to go the distance.
Finish: Like any healthy hair, lashes have a natural sheen to them. I prefer mascaras that do not dry too matte and cake-y.
Criteria established, here are some of my top mascara picks, both new and classic. Oh, and another thing: I base my assessment on the formulation, not the brush.
In no particular order, here are my top 10 best mascaras:
RMS Beauty – Mascara
This naturally derived, eco-certified brand constantly delivers. If you’ve been disappointed by the performance of natural mascaras before, look no further than RMS. Rose Marie Swift is a makeup artist, and her line performs like a makeup artist's line. The mascara is available in either a Defining or a Volumizing formula. While I like both, I tend to gravitate to the Volumizing whenever it’s time for a restock.
2. Korres – B5 & Rice Bran Mascara
Korres used to be a fully naturally derived brand as well. Unfortunately because of corporate buy-outs, that’s no longer the case. In fact, I hear they may no longer be cruelty-free, which is unfortunate. Back when these things were not an issue, I used their B5 & Rice Bran Mascara regularly. They describe it as lengthening and defining, but I found it gave nice volume as well. I used to describe it as my “natural Great Lash.”
3. Dior – Diorshow
What can be said about Diorshow that hasn’t been said already? Thirty thousand “Loves” and counting on the Sephora website tells the tale. This mascara creates thick, juicy, velvety lashes even when you do not use their legendary wand (just use a fat disposable wand for similar effect).
4. Benefit – They’re Real Mascara
As the name implies, this mascara is supposed give the illusion that you’re wearing falsies. It doesn’t look like you’re wearing false eyelashes, but it does a very nice job of building up lashes, particularly those on the — shall we say — more puny side.
This formula is lengthening, volumizing, and curling all in one. I have heard, however, people say it caused their lashes to dry out and break off, so they must be using some powerful stuff in the formulation. I’d either save this one for special occasions or use a lash conditioner regularly (vitamin E or jojoba oil works wonders to condition the lash line).
5. Besame – 1932 Cake Mascara
Every now and then I encounter a client who says that any mascara they use just slips off almost immediately. For folks who find this to be the case, I recommend going to a cake mascara.
All mascaras used to come in cake form before mascara tubes. The formulation is drier by nature (to use, you just activate with water) and less prone to slippage. Besame Cosmetics is a relatively new brand with a vintage feel, and I’m digging their cake mascara. The colors (available in black and brown) are rich, the formulation is smooth, you can apply as many layers as you dare to get the depth and fullness you desire, and once applied, it lasted all day. I recently used it on a photo shoot, and it was fabtastic.
6. Tarte – Lights, Camera, Lashes 4-in-1 Mascara
I love Tarte cosmetics, so let’s just get this out of the way: I’m totally biased. Over the years they’ve had a number of mascaras, and they’ve all been excellent in my opinion. What’s nice is Tarte has “greened” their line and become a largely naturally derived brand, yet the performance has remained the same. This 4-in-1 mascara lengthens, curls, volumizes, and conditions for lush and dramatic lashes. I prefer this for private clients versus photographic use (I think the conditioning oils make this mascara break down a bit faster under lights). They also make an extra Volumizing formula and a waterproof formula.
7. Givenchy Phenomen’Eyes Mascara
Okay, remember when I said I was judging these mascaras based on the formula not the wand? Well, this one really IS about the wand. I know some folks who disdain the ball, but it is the secret to picking up every. single. lash. I mean EVERY lash, even those teeny tiny ones in the inner corner. If you prefer to use a traditional wand, you’ll still be happy with the result. The formula itself is creamy, smooth, and non-flaking and leaves you with well-defined, long, and lush lashes with a nice sheen.
8. Maybelline – Great Lash
The legend and with good reason. Thick, gloopy, and crazy pliable, with the change of a wand type, I can create any kind of lash I want. For me, Great Lash is the “winner and still champion” of all mascaras. And at $6-$8 a tube, it isn’t painful to throw it out and get a new one when three months are up.
Honorable mentions:
I have a couple of items I think are worth a mention, even though one I do not use often and one is new to me:
Anastasia Beverly Hills Lash Genius Waterproof Top Coat was a game-changer for me. I do not care for waterproof mascaras, nor do I tend to need to use them often. With this handy-dandy top coat, I can make any mascara I wish to use waterproof. Lash Genius, indeed!
Buxom Custom Mascara Bar. I do not have any insight as to how well it works, but it’s a pretty cool idea. Basically you purchase Buxom’s Vanity Lash mascara and then based on the desired lash (volume, length, definition, etc.), you choose the perfect brush to accomplish the look. I used the Vanity Lash mascara on a private client this past weekend (it was her own mascara), and I did like the way it amplified her lashes which are rather short. So if you’re a fan of Buxom, or if you’re trying to find what brush works best for you, this is worth trying.
Alright, makeup-loving Homies, let's keep the great advice going. What are your favorite mascaras?
Recent Comments
Logan: I LOVE Maybelline Full & Soft. I keep trying to switch to others and ALWAYS end up back there. Not … [Link]
Lena: I am not a fan of Maybelline Great Lash - in my opinion Maybelline The Colossal is the best drugstore … [Link]
Central Saint Martins graduate Anna Goswami repurposes plastic nails from kitsch to couture.
Fresh out of university, the young British designer Anna Goswami is
already making a name for herself with her final undergraduate project –
a collection of dresses made entirely out of false nails. The images
posted on her Instagram account have gone viral as people continue to
share the original fashion designs across social platforms.
This is a really good, comprehensive list of edible flowers. It has a vivid description each plant’s taste and how to use and harvest as well as including which parts of the plant are inedible (x)
Here’s a great free ebook on cooking, brewing and blending herbs (x)
This website has fantastic gardening advice. Just search for a plant and it will tell you how to grow it, what grows indoors, pest, solutions, trivia and much, much more. (x) And it even has an edible gardening section (x) plus an indoor section if you don’t have a garden (x)
If you have any other resources, feel free to add them to this list.
Reader Sara told me about some food-shaming dishes. One of the plates says “It’s hard to be around you when you eat like this / Did you really need that second helping? / Please stop eating, we’re worried about you / For the love of God, stop eating.”
