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I spend roughly half my waking hours thinking about detectives, watching detectives on TV and reading about detectives in books. The other half of my waking hours are spent very specifically thinking about what a detective game might be like. How do you create a mystery which is compelling for players to deduce the answers to themselves, without being handheld and thus making the mystery dull and rote?

Where’s An Egg? has an answer. It was released in 2007, was sort of made by a fictional game developer, and is about deducing the location of an egg. You can play it in your browser and get the measure of it in ten minutes, and you should.
… [visit site to read more]

While incredible, Grim Fandango‘s relationship with the modern era is a complicated one. Foremost, there is no easy way to purchase it digitally, which sadly signals its death knell in the eyes of many more convenience-minded folks. But even if you opt to acquire it and get it up and running, there’s still the issue of, you know, playing your videogame. Rose-tinted glasses might see only Grim Fandango’s sterling personality and solid puzzles, but there is a third suspect in the room: terribly awkward tank controls, you’re under arrest. You have the right to remain silent, you have the right to an attorney, and no just kidding we’re tossing you in a furnace.

… [visit site to read more]

It’s been a very long time coming, first confirmed in 2009, but the new Thief is out this week. Tomorrow in the States, Thursday in Australia, and Friday in Europe. Having just managed to get a copy of the game in time, I’ve done nothing but play Thief for three days in order to be able to tell you wot I think:

… [visit site to read more]

In my travels, I've come to discover that offers given by spectral head of moray eels usually turn out pretty well. It's those damn monkey paws that you have to worry about.



See more: Let’s Make a Deal

I promised myself I wouldn’t write about any more Flappy-Bird-alikes, but damn it, Delirious Bird is actually really good. I know, I know: I make myself sick too. In penance, I will hurl myself at the nearest 12-foot-tall cartoon pipe just as soon as I’m able. I guess that makes this my final act, assuming real cartoon pipes are the silent monoliths of imperceptible violence videogames have taught me they are. But anyway: Delirious Bird is basically Flappy Bird, except exposed to near-fatal dosages of psychedelic rainbow radiation. The end result? Total madness. And a really cool gameplay mechanic.

… [visit site to read more]

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Are you a socially-anxious, overly-neurotic, deeply self-critical individual? If you are, you occasionally run into potentially embarrassing situations that you overthink even though they're likely completely irrelevant and you have no reason to be embarrassed. One of these situations might be buying a videogame with a weird cover. Like, oh I dunno, Bravely Default.

 

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‘Hands-On’ or ‘Hands-In’? Loading Human combines the power of the Oculus Rift and the Razer Hydra to create a virtual reality experience, in which the player’s head and arms are tracked onto a first-person avatar. The game itself has a great deal in common with Gone Home, and point and click adventures, telling a story of memory, love and loss. Everything is tied to the control system though and as I stood in the middle of an office, as confused and vulnerable as a contestant on Knightmare, I was forced to admit that I am very bad at following instructions. And at standing still. I’ve never been quite so excited and exhausted by a single hour with a game.

… [visit site to read more]

One of my wife’s co-workers sent this book home with her, saying “This looks like the sort of thing David would like.” And WOW, was he correct. This book is INCREDIBLE.

It’s The Naughty Victorian Hand Book; or, Furtling: The Rediscovered Art of Erotic Hand Manipulation by New Zealand artists Jeremy Bennett and Burton Silver. Bennett is responsible for the many absolutely wonderful illustrations throughout the book — they’re created with a scratchboard technique that mimics incredibly the Victorian-era woodcut style. Silver is the author of quite a few humor books, including two that I already have on my shelf: Why Cats Paint and its sequel, Why Paint Cats.

(Click any image for a closer look.)

The premise of The Naughty Victorian Hand Book is simple. The introduction describes the lost practice of “furtling”, explaining:

To study the art of erotic hand manipulation is to start out on a wonderful journey of discovery, a journey that leads into a world of secret folds and furrows…

For no matter whether this work was billed as a “medicinal contrivance for the diminished urge” or simply as a harmless parlour-game, the prudish Victorian mind would have intuitively grasped the contagious nature of the underlying message…As you will find, these engravings have lost none of their power to excite and provoke.

They induce powerful statements of tactile value where the reader is encouraged to delight in the sensation of touch — as if the body were in miniature and the finger tip the caressing palm.

Every part of the book includes various cut-out sections, where the reader can place his or her hand physically under the page to fill out the illustration.

For example, on a given page, there will be a diagram showing exactly how to place your hand — you turn two pages, and place your hand underneath both in the configuration pictured.

Then, you lift up the top page to reveal the illustration that, with the addition of your hand, has become INCREDIBLY NAUGHTY.

This book is amazing. It’s a one-note joke, but it’s so elaborately done and so wonderfully done that it’s absolutely worth it. I’ve never seen a book quite like it.

Anyone who’s read my any of my books knows that I like to include mechanics in them that respect the physicality of the book as artifact — whether it’s having to repeatedly rotate The Annotated Wondermark, or hold pages in Beards of our Forefathers up to the light, or match up pages in Clever Tricks to Stave Off Death to create recipes for medicine — I love the idea of the book as thing, an item that’s not just a sum of words and pictures but actually something that gains power from having physical mass and occupying a specific space in the world.

Also I can’t stop giggling at it.

This book was released in Great Britain and the US in 1989, but is now long out of print. Over the last few months I’ve been keeping an eye out for copies in any used bookstores I visit, and also snapping them up when I come across them online. A few of you have seen me show it off at conventions — it’s the only product I’ve ever sold that’s not my own work! But it fits so well with the Wondermark aesthetic and sense of humor that I almost feel it’s my duty to give this now 25-year-old book whatever second life I can.

If you’re as tickled by this as I am, you can find used copies on Amazon or in other used bookstores (not around me, though!).

Or, right now I’ve got 19 copies of my own that I’m happy to offer. Mine are all used copies (as Amazon’s would be), and as such are slightly worn or may feature strange stickers — but not in any way that impedes the reading experience. UPDATE: All my copies are gone! If I obtain more in the future I will be sure to say so loudly!

Plus, if you order from me you also get a handwritten thank-you from Piranhamoose! YOUR MOVE, AMAZON.

The only difference between the British and American versions of the book is the cover design (I’ve got some of each). If you get a copy from me, I’ll send you one or the other randomly.

With Valentine’s Day coming up (and of course I still have Valentine cards for sale too!) this would make the perfect gift for the weirdo in your life!

The Naughty Victorian Hand Book:
on Amazon or available direct from me. Update: I’ve sold all my copies for now!

…by the way, this whole post is NSFWV (Not Safe For Wilting Victorians)

Firstly: this a tech demo that’s right now is basically just for fun, rather than marking an abrupt change of direction for Sanctum devs Coffee Stain Studios.

Secondly: awwwwww. Hope they wind up doing something with it anyway.

Thirdly: GOAT SIMULATOR.

And also, more goatily, this:

Goats are dicks, man.

Basically it’s Just Cause with a goat. And there is nothing whatsoever unhappy about that sentence.

Things to know:

1) it’s made in Unreal Engine 3
2) “We’re just playing around a bit with programming stuff, this is not our next big IP, calm yourselves journalists”, but “it is a *real* game, we made it. It’s just that it’s not finished and we don’t have any particular plans with it.”
3) Follow this chap if you want regular updates about where this is going.

Please. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease make this, and release it. Otherwise I’ll eat your laundry.

South Park™: The Stick of Truth™ is Now Available for Pre-Purchase on Steam!

From the perilous battlefields of the fourth-grade playground, a young hero will rise, destined to be South Park’s savior. From the creators of South Park, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, comes an epic quest to become… cool. Introducing South Park™: The Stick of Truth™.

All Pre-Purchases also include the "Ultimate Fellowship" Pack with four exclusive Stick of Truth costumes that come equipped with special abilities. Suit up as the Necromancer Sorcerer to increase your fire damage, earn extra gold by equipping the Rogue Assassin outfit, deal extra weapon damage with the Ranger Elf costume, or raise your defense with the Holy Defender outfit. The choice is yours, New Kid. Seize the Kingdom of South Park!

RadioShack did a great job of discarding their outdated image during the Super Bowl commercial, “The 80s Called.” The funny ad featured tons of 80s celebrities — Jason Vorhees, ALF, Hulk Hogan, Cliff Clavin, and more — who kick the door in and invade a RadioShack store to “take back their old stuff.” To show that they mean business, RadioShack is giving away a large collection of “totally rad” prizes from the 80s for the next 24 hours. Out with the old and in with the new!

videos via RadioShack

Octodad: Dadliest Catch is Now Available on Steam and is 20% off to celebrate!

Octodad: Dadliest Catch is a game about destruction, deception, and fatherhood. The player controls Octodad, a dapper octopus masquerading as a human, as he goes about his life. Octodad's existence is a constant struggle, as he must master mundane tasks with his unwieldy boneless tentacles while simultaneously keeping his cephalopodan nature a secret from his human family.

In this sequel to the splash hit Octodad, our cephaloprotagonist has gotten himself in a bind between his wife’s mounting mistrust, and a disastrous trip to the local aquarium! Are you dad enough to control the titular octopus father as he strives to hide his nautical nature from his family while keeping his tangled tentacles intact?

American McGee’s Spicy Horse studio has spent a touch more on Akaneiro: Demon Hunter than it raised on Kickstarter. Gathering $204,000 back in February last year, it seems they’ve spent $2 million on the game. I’m not an accountant, but I’m pretty sure that £2m is more than $205,000. McGee has posted on the game’s Kickstarter page that it means they’ll have to “radically alter” the future of the game.

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Ice and Fire, all new content for King's Bounty: Warriors of the North is Now Available on Steam!


A small island lost in the sea is covered by snow and ice. It is inhabited by the clan of Snow Elves. Young Olaf, the son of the Northling King, faces his destiny again as he helps the people of the North in their struggle against the upcoming thaw.

New adventures and challenges, new friends and foes, new items and awards await Olaf on his way to victory. He will set off on a journey to distant parts of Endoria that weren’t visited even by the Royal Bounty Hunters…

Broken Age is Now Available on Steam!
ACT 1 IS NOW AVAILABLE, AND THE ACT 2 CONCLUSION WILL ARRIVE AS A FREE UPDATE LATER THIS YEAR.

The first graphic adventure by Tim Schafer in sixteen years, Broken Age began two years ago in a historic, record-breaking Kickstarter campaign. Now it's here in all its beautiful, 2D, hand-painted glory, with an original orchestral soundtrack and an all-star vocal cast.

Broken Age is a timeless coming-of-age story of barfing trees and talking spoons. Vella Tartine and Shay Volta are two teenagers in strangely similar situations, but radically different worlds. The player can freely switch between their stories, helping them take control of their own lives, and dealing with the unexpected adventures that follow.

They said adventure games were dead, but then Broken Age punched its hand out of the grave and grabbed you by the wrist and you screamed just like in the end of Carrie except what you screamed was "I love adventure games so much!" And sorry I spoiled the end of Carrie.

Key Features:

• Pointing
  
• Clicking
  
• Original soundtrack, composed by Peter McConnell, recorded by the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra
  
• All-star voice cast, including Elijah Wood, Jack Black, Jennifer Hale, Wil Wheaton, and Pendleton Ward
  
• Dialog Trees!
  
• Some jokes. Unless you don't think they're funny, in which case we totally weren't trying to be funny.
  
• A whole bunch of awesome PUZZLES
  
• This one really hard puzzle that you won't get but you'll look it up online and not tell anybody
  
• All your hopes and dreams

One of my favorite elements of Dishonored was its plague-infested whalepunk world. By videogame standards, I thought it was a refreshingly weird place, a rot-tinged breath of fresh air burning in my nostrils. But man, it looks downright tame in comparison to Windforge, in which there are flying whales and you mine them hollow and turn them into desecrated flesh vessels to pilot on your journeys. Well, that’s if you’re a jerk, anyway. These sky whales are on the brink of extinction, so technically you’re trying to find an alternate fuel source. Also, there is crazy Bionic-Commando-style swinging action, shooting ripped straight from Contra’s cold, dead hands, and tons of crafting. It looks like total madness, and it’ll be out in March.

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This seems like a very odd feature for Steam not to have already had, but there we go. If you pre-order a game through Valve’s digital distribution service, you can now cancel that order and be automatically refunded for the cost of the game.

Previously cancelling pre-ordered items required you to contact Steam support in order to receive a refund, but now the funds will instantly appear in your Steam wallet and the game will be removed from your account.
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A sequel to Indy-does-Metroid retroesque platformer La-Mulana was announced last September, so hopefully no-one’s going ‘La-Mulana 2? Whaaaaaaaaaaat?’ in happy disebelief at this point. Today’s news focuses on the fact that devs NIGORO have taken the game to Kickstarter, looking for $200,000 for what they describe as “a direct sequel” to the 2012 PC port of the 2011 WiiWare English remake of the 2005 Japanese-only PC game.
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A while ago I did some animations on Adventure Time: Hey Ice King! Why’d You Steal Our Garbage?! by Wayforward.

Click here for more art by Andy Kluthe.

 

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