IKEA MonkeyDozer, more like BLOWzer, because you blow, because you're dumb.
IKEA MonkeyLily, you are cool. You can stay. Look you guys. A non-crappy puppy. It can be done.
IKEA MonkeyTHIS IS SO AWKWARD WOW
IKEA MonkeyI will *always* LOL at Bill Dance bloopers.
‘Bill Dance Outdoors’ brings together some of my favorite things: fishing bloopers, guys using almost-curse words and dogs magically appearing from off-screen like rocket ships. Bill Dance bloopers are the greatest. Fishing should be this easy for everybody.
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All The GIFs You’ll Ever Need Of Megan’s Mom Channeling Her Inner Lucille Bluth In Sunday’s ‘Mad Men’ |UPROXX|
The 5 Television Man Crushes Every Straight Man Should Have |Warming Glow|
Robert Downey Jr. is a real-life superhero |Film Drunk|
How Not To Comment On A Skydiver’s Death |With Leather|
10 Reasons To Hate The Terrible ‘Iron Man 3′ |Gamma Squad|
12 Legendary Moments In Rap History |Smoking Section|
Local Smoke Shop Welcomes Tyrann Mathieu To Phoenix |Kissing Suzy Kolber|
Rad Fights of Yesteryear – Frye vs Takayama |LegKickTKO|
Secret Algorithm Teaches Hollywood How to Never Lose Money Again |Grantland|
10 Contestants for Earth’s Next Superpower |Mental Floss|
5 Famous People You Won’t Believe Didn’t Exist |Cracked|
Jennifer Lopez In A Swimsuit Causes Gang Violence |The Superficial|
19 Things That Aren’t Lightsabers |HuffPost Comedy|
8 Great Movies That Are Totally Different Now That I’m Older |College Humor|
9 alternate-universe takes on The Great Gatsby |AV Club|
The last known photographs of famous figures before their death |The Chive|
How Insane Cast Chemistry Transforms One of TV’s Worst Dramas Into One of Its Best |Pajiba|
Freaks and Geeks: The Best of Mr. Weir |Clip Nation|
Vintage Rail Posters of WoW Locations |Unreality|
The 5 Most Ridiculous Lies Ever Told to Impress a Woman |Brobible|
The post Dad Gummit, It’s Bill Dance Bloopers (And The Morning Links) appeared first on With Leather.
IKEA MonkeyYou might win some but you just lost one, Lauren.
After pleading guilty to tax evasion, Lauryn Hill was sentenced to three months in prison and an additional three months of "home confinement" today. As you might recall, the singer said she deliberately didn't report more than $1.5 million in income, because she was "opposed to the system."
    
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IKEA MonkeyWay to fuck up the garden, Behr.
IKEA Monkeylove this.
You will watch this animated short featuring a floppy blob of a dog making an omelette for its exhausted, depressed owner, and you will enjoy it. Thank you, Madeline Sharafian (a BFA2 character animator at CalArts) for these two-and-a-half minutes of heartswelling cuteness.
[Video: Madeline Sharafian on Vimeo]
[via Metafilter]
About the author: Robyn Lee is the editor of A Hamburger Today and takes many of the photos for Serious Eats. She'll also doodle cute stuff when necessary. Read more from Robyn at her personal food blog, The Girl Who Ate Everything.
IKEA MonkeyERIN
VIEW SLIDESHOW: Share Your Sweets: Rhubarb
There were days when people were wary of rhubarb and hardly ventured beyond the classic rhubarb-strawberry pie. Well those days are over, at least for SE-ers, who know how to dress up this tart fruit in everything from crumbles to short cake. Click through the slideshow above to see all your best rhubarb creations.
Next week, we're celebrating one of the best places in the world for dessert: Italy. Do you make awesome gelato, panna cotta, biscotti, crostate, or maybe a sweet Sicilian cassata? Shoot us a photo of your best Italian sweet (along with a link to the recipe!) and we'll include it in next week's roundup. Be sure to send it in no later than Tuesday, May 7th so we can include it in the Share Your Sweets on Thursday May 9th.
If you're new to Share Your Sweets, take a peep at the rules here. A few notes: we can only take one submission per person, so pick your favorite (or the most recent shot) and send it in. Also, Share Your Sweets is just for the folks at home; no pros or companies! If you want to really impress us, crop your photo so it's 610 pixels wide and 458 pixels tall.
IKEA MonkeyERIN
Admit it, you've always wanted your own secret bookshelf door to conceal a secret lair (or at least your closet). Now, one brave YouTube user has proven that it's possible for the non-super villains among us.
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IKEA MonkeyERIN
[Photograph: Anna Markow]
For the past month, I've been jealously watching the specialty citrus fruits on the savory side of the kitchen give way to pea shoots, favas, fiddleheads and ramps. It takes a little while longer for spring to come to the pastry kitchen, and those of us who live on the sweeter side tend to be sick to death of citrus, nuts, and hardy wintered apples and pears by the time the snow is melted. In some kitchens, we are allowed to turn to tropical imports like pineapple, mango, and kiwi to keep our spirits up, but it all depends on the cuisine.
For me, spring doesn't truly feel like it's arrived in the pastry kitchen until rhubarb makes an appearance. It's prohibitively expensive on the East Coast for the first month or so of its availability, with the biggest, pinkest specimens coming from the Pacific Northwest. Seeing gorgeous pink desserts showing up on the menus of West Coast restaurants from afar is absolute torture. And when you do get your grubby little pastry mitts on a case, there is always the question of what flavors you want to play with.
Strawberries don't come into season until late spring, and the combination is so played out that I've never actually put strawberry and rhubarb together in a restaurant dessert. I'm a big fan of what I consider to be a kind of farm flavor profile, combining tart rhubarb with sour buttermilk and sweet floral honey. Simple vanilla beans also complement rhubarb perfectly, especially in jam. And any lingering citrus makes a refreshing match for earthy rhubarb.
Lemon, orange, and even kumquat all bring a perky brightness to the pink stalk, but lime also brings a lovely color contrast. What says spring more than pink and green?
I also believe that a spring dessert, especially one with rhubarb, should be light. People have been eating heavy things all winter long, so I steer clear of cheesecakes and thick custards. What could be lighter than meringue?
Pavlovas are a traditional Australian/New Zealand dessert. A shell of crisp, airy meringue encases a pillowy marshmallow center. They are classically served with sour passion fruit or kiwi to offset the sweetness of meringue. Here, pretty pink rhubarb with tart, buttery lime curd makes an excellent substitution and a colorful spring dessert. Making individual servings is a cute way to present just about anything, and pavlovas are no exception.
About the Author: Anna Markow is a pastry chef obsessed with doing things that no one else does and giving unusual ingredients their time to shine. You can follow her sometimes-pastry-related thoughts on Twitter @VerySmallAnna.
Get the Recipe!IKEA MonkeyEvery single thing I've made from Simply Recipes is astonishing and I can't wait to make this.
Chicken, corn tortillas, avocados, lime. These are ingredients that simply love each other. Pretty much anything you make with them is bound to be good. The following soup is a relatively easy version of “Sopa de Lima” or “Lime Soup”, a specialty of the Yucatan peninsula in Mexico. It’s a chicken soup flavored with fiery habanero, cinnamon, clove, and tangy limes. The limes that are used in the Yucatan are a slightly different variety than what is easily available here, but standard Persian limes will work fine. The soup is tangy from limes, smoothed with the buttery richness of avocados, and enjoys a little crunch from fried tortilla strips added for garnish. It’s reminiscent of both pozole and tortilla soup, but with somewhat different spices and a strong hit of lime. ¡Happy Cinco de Mayo!
Continue reading "Mexican Chicken Soup with Lime (Sopa de Lima)" »
IKEA MonkeyNEED
VIEW SLIDESHOW: 10 Essential Mexican Dishes in Chicago for Cinco de Mayo
[Photographs: Nick Kindelsperger]
I'll get this out of the way in the very first sentence: I still have more Mexican restaurants in Chicago to try. So many more. In fact, there are so many more that I sometimes get overwhelmed with all the choices. But after five years in Chicago, I've tried more than my fair share of Mexican restaurants (probably in the hundreds right now). So with Cinco de Mayo coming up on Sunday, I decided to pick out the essential Mexican dishes in Chicago.
You probably know that I have a thing for tacos, but that's just the beginning. I crave chilaquiles, tortas, tamales, huaraches, birria, and, above all else, mole (preferably mole negro, but I love them all). Fortunately, you can find all of those dishes in the city.
Check out my 10 essential Mexican dishes in Chicago by clicking on the slideshow. Of course, I couldn't quite help myself, and included links to a bunch of other amazing options. But if you think I missed some crucially important pick, definitely let me know in the comments. After all, I have so much more to eat.
View Mexican Dishes We Love in Chicago in a larger map
IKEA MonkeyLove her. More Donna, more Retta.
Before the days of Parks and Recreation, most of us had little-to-no idea who Retta was (how deprived we all were!) Even when she signed on to do the show, there was little promise of her breaking out and becoming recognizable. She was only a background actor until one day Amy Poehler decided to engage her in a little improv and Retta ended up hitting the scene out of the fucking park.
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IKEA MonkeyTHERE'S MORE
Last week we debuted the first installment of our weekly and possibly infinite series This Week In Horrible-Looking People, dedicated to the best and worst of pro wrestling 8×10 promotional photos. It featured (among other things) Linda McMahon looking like a U.S. President, the happiest photo Kevin Nash has ever taken and a Triple H/Chyna promo shot that is clearly just two cardboard cutouts propped up side by side.
This week is loosely dedicated to remembering the good old days, back when Kurt Angle was a regular looking dude, Mickie James was a psychotic lesbian stalker and Dolph Ziggler entered the ring via trampoline. I think he was the trampoline one. Anyway, I’ve gathered 51 more random, amazing WWE promo photos from the 1990s, 2000s and today, and I hope you enjoy them.
Except the Michael Hayes one. Nobody could enjoy that.
There should be a midget dressed like Earthquake standing beside Jimmy Hart, wearing a jacket with Jimmy Hart on it.
Poor Debra. Nobody could make a bra to support the weight of her massive boobs, and she had to walk around holding them up like that.
Reminder: there was a year or two between “condescending surfer” and “Rated R Superstar” when Edge did ALL OF THE DRUGS. ALL OF THEM. If you moved the tattoo on his arm to his belly-button, he’d be Batista.
This is the only acceptable response to Eugene:
If you don’t remember, Hornswoggle was once an incredible character. He was a monstrous leprechaun who emerged from beneath the ring solely to be used as a foreign object by his master/father/whatever. Now he just stands next to other freakshow character and claps and dances for the enjoyment of children. It’s pretty bad when you get demoted from “object.”
Flash Funk, the lovechild of Koko B. Ware and The Undertaker. Also, Jeff Jarrett’s hat.
IRS is one of the best and most illogical characters ever. There is a 100% chance that he’s thinking, “I bet that photographer is a TAX CHEAT.”
“All right, Ivory, in this photo we’re gonna focus on how far your nipples have migrated from their natural position. We may have to do it in panorama.”
Pro wrestlers or B.A.P.S. cosplay? You decide.
God, Ariel was glorious. Kevin Thorn was the exact opposite of Ariel. What kind of vampire wears a sleeveless snakeskin trenchcoat?
Oh, that kind.
NNNNOOOPE.
Here is Jillian Hall’s WWE career trajectory:
1. lady with a thing on her face
2. lady who had the thing on her face eaten off by the Boogeyman
3. bad singer
4. Jenna Maroney’s boyfriend on ’30 Rock’
“hi, I’m Johnny Parisi. You may remember me from STEROIDS.”
This picture is great if you imagine Coachman is ripping a megaton fart, and we’re seeing the heat from it. Or he’s propelled by a jet engine from his ass. Either way, congratulations on having promo photos like this forever, ESPN employee!
Cigarettes are always a great wrestling prop. See also: R-Truth’s heel turn and that weird run where The Giant would smoke while beating up jobbers. Also a great wrestling prop: Raven dressed like an idiot.
I miss this guy so much. There is nothing I want more in wrestling than for this Kurt Angle to come back. NOTHING.
Maybe one thing.
Wrestling pro-tip: If you see a guy with an Asian-sounding name and he’s wearing a mask, he’s not from Asia. Sorry, wrestling fans, but to Vince McMahon, “the Orient” or “the land of the rising sun” mean “New Jersey” and “Puerto Rico” respectively.
I think I just blew my L.O.D.
Best part of this photo: Animal is wearing an In Memory armband for HIMSELF, because he knows his career’s about to die.
“We’ve got a cowboy character, and he looks kinda feminine and non-threatening. What should we do?”
“Give him a jacket that makes him look like the ceiling of a hotel lobby.”
This picture should be handed out to children on their first day of school, labeled “TRY VERY HARD TO BE THIS.”
Woo woo woo, you … know even less than the last time I made this joke.
WHO DO YOU WANT TO HUG, ADORABLE U.S.A. MARK HENRY? IS IT ME, BECAUSE I HOPE IT IS
I love that the difference between heel Mark Henry and face Mark Henry is “colors.” Remember when he was MVP’s smilin’ best friend, and he wore that red singlet that made him look like the Kool-Aid Man? QUICK, SOMEBODY DRAIN HIM OF ALL COLOR
mission accomplished
I can’t decide if he’s trying to eat her, or if he’s a vampire and we’ve just surprised him by turning on the lights.
Their mission: Golden Corral.
Here’s my latest piece, entitled, “Grandpa Discovers Gadzooks.”
Haha, what the hell is she doing here? Assembling monkey bars?
Quick, name somebody with a career worse than Mordecai’s!
Remember when WWE was running Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice angles with Jamie Noble, Nidia, Torrie Wilson and Billy Gunn? When you think about it, the PG era isn’t that bad.
Artists rendering: The Prime Time Players as one guy.
Here’s Owen Hart, being amazing and looking like the bird from Up at the same time. Reminder for any WWE wrestlers in developmental worried about looking stupid: remember, WWE once had OWEN HART and wanted him to look like this.
When the hell was Papa Shango signing autographs for people?
Baby Randy Orton will still go to the papers (if he has to).
I had a great joke lined up for this photo, but I slipped up and dropped it.
Renee Dupree, looking like every male and female character from 1990s teen movies and TV shows at once. Zack Morris, Jason Biggs … uh, Marla Sokoloff (I don’t know how else to explain his massive breasts) …
More wrestlers that look like Repo Man, fewer that look like Renee Dupree, please.
Actually, this is a nice compromise.
nope, too far
He isn’t just good at the ring, he has MASTERED it! Spoiler alert: this guy’s career never takes off.
THIS guy on the other hand … MONEY. Second spoiler alert: his shirt slogan spells out “shit.” Third spoiler: “shit” is supposed to be a joke, I think
Scotty 2 Hotty in his late career gimmick of “rocket pop.”
Shawn Stasiak is here and he is BLOOD RED and SO MAD AT YOU and he’s either pooping or going Super Saiyan, one or the other
My favorite thing about Skinner was his finish, where stabbed you to death with a knife and removed your skin.
Here’s a fun game: find the World Heavyweight Champion in this photo! Second fun game: introducing yourself by screaming your first name.
The post This Week In Horrible-Looking People: 51 More Random, Amazing WWE Promo Photos appeared first on With Leather.
IKEA MonkeyI bet Zelda has bad breath
IKEA MonkeyI will *always* watch doggie/military reunion videos. I will also always cry a little.
IKEA MonkeyDAVID you and I went to Udupi Palace once, its on this list. I remember it being good. I really, really need to get back to Devon Street again.
They're a little less obvious than some of our famous steakhouses, but Chicago has some vegetarian gems scattered throughout the city. [ more › ] 
IKEA MonkeyI really do enjoy this
In Hear This, A.V. Club writers sing the praises of songs they know well—some inspired by a weekly theme and some not, but always songs worth hearing. This week, we asked, “What’s your favorite song that originated on the Internet?”
I can’t say that I’m crazy about many Internet-specific songs, but the person who decided to mix a song from the kid show LazyTown with the filthiest parts of Lil Jon’s “Step Yo Game Up” deserves some high praise. (Though I don’t think I’d want to meet him.) The LazyTown part is an insanely catchy number called “Cooking By The Book,” and the video features a pink-haired girl in a chef’s hat singing about making sure you follow recipes. When Lil Jon comes in to request that someone “grind on his dick make it get a little bigger,” things get thoroughly ...
Read moreIKEA MonkeyWHY. Stop it Paul Ryan you are dumb.
Rep. Paul Ryan says he now supports the right of same-sex couples to adopt children, but he still opposes the right of same-sex couples to marry. [ more › ]
IKEA Monkeyderp
How dumb is the WHCD? This dumb. You're looking at The Politico's White House Correspondents Dinner memo, left behind at a party last night and obtained by Gawker.
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IKEA MonkeyFor once, I kind of get it. It's incredibly violent and graphic for a show on network TV.
Salt Lake City’s Church of Latter-day Saints-owned NBC affiliate, KSL, has previously banished shows like The Playboy Club and The New Normal, only to be met with cries of hypocrisy for allowing violent, sexual assault-filled crime procedurals to continue promoting a life of chastity. But if there’s one thing the Mormon Church can definitely not be accused of, it’s making arbitrary rules based on questionable dogma, and so it has also now banned Hannibal. The station says it made its decision “due to the extensive graphic nature of this show”—a quibble with which one can’t really argue, given the series’ propensity toward frequent gore and coffee drinking—and after receiving “numerous complaints” from viewers who long ago cast their remote control into the fire, deeming it “the Devil’s wand.” (Presumably Hannibal's practice of using every part of his kills also hewed too closely ...
Read moreIKEA MonkeyTurtle? More like TURD-le right?
IKEA Monkeyprime butt
[Photograph: Nick Kindelsperger]
You don't have to be a White Sox fan to appreciate Schaller's Pump in Bridgeport, but it sure helps. Hours before a game begins, patrons pack the Bridgeport staple, even if said game happens to be at 1 p.m. on a Wednesday afternoon. The menu is blessedly short and very old school. Sure, that means no nachos or wings, but Schaller's Pump is also literally old, having been in continuous operation since 1881. When you're open that long, and also happen to be located across the street from the 11th Ward Democratic headquarters, you pile up more stories than I have time to recap here. But perhaps you remember chef Kevin Hickey's neighborhood guide, where he reminisced about eating prime rib and kicking former White Sox owner, Bill Veeck's, wooden leg. It's that kind of place.
What Schaller's Pump does serve is beef. I missed out on the prime rib special (which I'll need to go back for) and have heard that the corned beef sandwich is good, but I felt no remorse with the prime butt ($9.95). Though located on the sandwich side of the menu, it's not so much a steak sandwich as a slab of steak on a piece of toast. Cut from the sirloin, prime butt isn't the most tender slab of beef, so you'll need to slice it against the grain with a steak knife—not very sandwich-like, if you ask me. As for the toast, by the time you're done slicing, it disintegrates under the weight of the beef. But if it's not a sandwich, why is it served with lettuce, tomato, and pickle on the side? So many questions.
It may be hard to call this thing a sandwich, but if you're in the mood for a big slab of beef for under $10, all served in one of Chicago's most distinctive restaurants with one of the friendliest waitstaffs I've ever encountered, Schaller's Pump is your place. Of course, as a White Sox fan, I have to admit that I'm biased and shouldn't be trusted.
3714 South Halsted Street, Chicago, IL 60609 (map)
773-376-6332
IKEA MonkeyMy mom used to desiccate steaks and chops whenever she cooked them. It would be almost impossible to eat, and the only tender part left was the ring of fat ensconcing the cheap steaks they'd buy because that's what you could afford when you have five kids. I'd cut the fat off the steaks, dip it in A1 sauce, and then dip that in mashed potatoes, if we had them. Otherwise it was just fat + A1. I learned it from my father and we'd steal the fat from everyone else's plates as well, which disgusted everyone but made us happy. Now I know how to cook meat so it tastes good, but I still like a bite of fat sometimes.
[Image: Shutterstock]
For all our fancy food and restaurant talk, we were kids once. And we did some pretty gross stuff with our food. A casual conversation in the office suddenly had us sharing the stunts from our school lunch days, so we figured we'd share them with you as well.
"Oh, we would eat whole bags of Cheetos and not lick our fingers until the very, very end, when our fingers would have orange dust on them half an inch thick." —Carey Jones
"Remember Listerine pocket packs? We'd have contests to see who could dissolve more in their mouth at once. I think after 15 we started to feel faint. —Carey
"Oh yeah, and we did the same with Warheads. I think I got to 10 once." —Max Falkowitz
"The cool thing to do at the Moulton Elementary lunch tables was wrap your finger in Fruit Roll-Up, then suck on it like a lollypop. It could take hours until you actually saw your finger again, and it was guaranteed to be all sticky and stained a deep red shade of imitation strawberry." —Erin Zimmer
"During long car rides, my parents would get us the individual creamers from diners. We'd sit in the back of the car shaking them for a loooooong time until they turned into butter. Then we'd eat the butter." —J. Kenji López-Alt
"My parents claim I went through a phase where I'd eat those little packets of butter at restaurants* plain. I don't remember this." —Carrie Vasios
"Um, I totally did that butter pat thing. And I do remember. Ungh." —Niki Achitoff-Gray
"I'd see the greatest distance from which you could successfully suction a pea up off the table with your mouth (not a choking hazard at all, mom and dad!). I also used to save all the chocolate chunks in my ice cream for 'the end' by spitting them back out into the bowl like a crumbly chocolate bar. Jesus. I'm disgusting." —Niki
"I feel like I must've been the most boring kid. I really can't think of anything to add. :C" —Robyn Lee
What food stunts did you pull in your childhood? And how about your kids now?
IKEA Monkeyuhhh whoa
An intrepid tipster, as intrepid tipsters are liable to do, has sent us a pretty cool link to a cartoon created by animator Scott Benson. It’s called “But I’m a Nice Guy,” and sums up the fallacy lurking behind MRA screeds about rampant misandry and feminist conspiracies with a simple ice cream analogy that even the most deluded, self-loathing Nice Guy can (hopefully) understand.
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IKEA MonkeyGood!
Have you been aching for that one taste-bud tantalizing pancetta you had while visiting Italy ten years ago, but which you couldn’t get because of FDA restrictions on the import of Italian cured meats? If so, here’s some good news. Reports indicate that the ban –which had previously been eased but still severely limited imports — will be lifted starting May 28. [via L.A. Times]
IKEA MonkeyI love when the AV Club hate-reviews something.
It’s almost impressive how the moronic new ensemble comedy The Big Wedding manages to cram three hours’ worth of nonsensical subplots, extraneous characters, and implausible plot points into 90 minutes of streamlined idiocy. The film suffers rather than benefits from an all-star cast, which must be serviced with story arcs that run the gamut from passable to insulting. The Big Wedding’s most ridiculous plot-strand involves doctor Topher Grace holding onto his virginity as he approaches 30, out of an exceedingly fuzzy desire to lose it in a meaningful way, possibly on a beach at sunset. But when a character’s defining characteristic is his unconvincing, inexplicable virginity, he probably shouldn’t saunter through the film in what looks like a post-coital haze, as Grace’s handsome, confident, wisecracking professional does here. Still, it’s almost unfair to single him out, since nothing in The Big Wedding rings remotely ...
Read moreIKEA MonkeyAmateurs
IKEA MonkeyAs you do
Finally, Jonah Falcon's penis is solidified in song.
The man famous for his 13.5-inch, record-setting penis released a song, and it's bound to impress even the most hardened of pop fans.
"It's Too Big," released on iTunes and CDbaby.com on April 16, features Falcon's penetrating voice singing about his own member, which was again thrown into the limelight after HuffPost Weird News covered Falcon getting frisked by the TSA.
