Shared posts

10 Feb 16:46

Fox Business: Why Does The LEGO Movie Hate America?

by Doktor Zoom
IKEA Monkey

We saw this movie and 1) this guy is a fucking tool 2) the movie is a full-length feature advertisement for Lego, so come on, don't start with this "anti-business" crap and 3) it was a good movie

Fox Business Network’s Charles Payne is very indignant that The LEGO Movie, the weekend’s top-grossing film, is “pushing its anti-business message to our kids” because the villain is an evil businessman. He also remarks that the character “looks a little bit like Mitt Romney,” which is maybe a stretch.

Payne reprises the Fox complaint that 2011′s The Muppets, which grossed $165 million worldwide, was a deeply anti-capitalist movie as well. It’s almost as if Fox anchors are made of felt and have Roger Ailes’s hand up their ass, controlling their every word and movement. There is a word for that, we think.

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10 Feb 15:24

Dirty Mudbloods Allowed to Mingle with Purebred Dogs at Westminster

by Doug Barry
IKEA Monkey

Snowy would win.

Dirty Mudbloods Allowed to Mingle with Purebred Dogs at Westminster

The Westminster Dog Show, a 138-year-old institution dedicated to preserving the once functional deformities produced by humanity's ancient breeding experiments with gray wolves, broke tradition last night and let, for the first time in a century, mixed breed dogs compete next to their purebred counterparts. The result, of course, was utter chaos.

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08 Feb 20:50

Woman Buys Car Just to Ram It Into a Kroger (For the Second Time)

by Mark Shrayber
IKEA Monkey

I honestly thought I was reading an Onion headline/article until I clicked to read the rest of it.

For the second time in 15 years, June Ann Blocker has rammed a car through her local Kroger. This time, she purchased a new one — a four-door Lincoln— hours before she used it to plow through the front of the Elizabethtown, Kentucky store. Blocker's dispute appears to have to do with a long-standing vendetta against the company, of which she was an employee, but it's unclear why she was upset or whether she'd worked in either of the stores she used her cars as a battering ram against. Blocker's complaint, it appears, is against Kroger in general, not any specific employees.

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08 Feb 13:37

Naked, Growling Man Shot Dead by Cops After Biting Teen's Face

by Henry Austin
IKEA Monkey

Florida

A naked, growling man was shot dead by cops after biting a teenager's face and attacking a retired police officer on Wednesday, officials told reporters.






08 Feb 13:32

Sunny spot.

IKEA Monkey

Self-share. Snowy is so damn cute.



Sunny spot.

08 Feb 13:24

Watch Bruno Mars Do One Of The Best Super Bowl Halftime Shows Ever

by Rebecca Rose
IKEA Monkey

so good.

Here's the full performance of Bruno Mars's performance from the Super Bowl last night and let me be perfectly clear about this—it's good. Damn good.

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08 Feb 13:23

Women in Their 70s Say They're Having Way Hotter Sex Than You

by Lindy West
IKEA Monkey

I am OK knowing it only gets better.

Women in Their 70s Say They're Having Way Hotter Sex Than You

This past October, I got the chance to meet Jane Fonda and also stand next to her and hug her and be in close proximity to her shiny, perfect hair. From the moment she walked in the room I had to suppress the urge to scream, "OH MY GOD, YOU ARE SO PRETTY," right in Jane Fonda's 76-year-old face—silently chastising myself that one does not objectify smart, powerful feminists at the fancy feminist cocktail party to which the smart, powerful feminist was kind enough to invite one. ONE SIMPLY DOES NOT.

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08 Feb 00:46

What's Your Favorite Money-Saving Tip?

by Walter Glenn
IKEA Monkey

I used to have a problem with online shopping. I broke the habit by allowing myself to fill up a "shopping cart" online and then going to my bank account and moving the dollar amount I'd racked up on the online store into my savings. Then I'd close the online store and tell myself if I still wanted it, I could go back later and move the money back out of savings. Over half the time I'd just forget about it and in about a year I saved around $2,000. Like I said I had a problem.

What's Your Favorite Money-Saving Tip?

We all like saving a bit of money, especially when we find a clever new way of doing it. We've shared allkindsofways to save money, but now we're curious to hear from you. What's your favorite tip for spending a little less or just for putting more into your savings?

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07 Feb 23:13

Behold French Fry-Stuffed Fat Sandwiches From RU Hungry in New Brunswick, NJ

by Robyn Lee
IKEA Monkey

The Fat Veggie Indian was my jam back in my RU days

From Serious Eats: New York

20140111-ru-hungry-fat-darrell2.jpg

The Fat Darrell from RU Hungry. [Photographs: Robyn Lee]

'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

Lee Greenwood's patriotic crooning doesn't often pop into my head, but when it does, it's probably not for any reason Greenwood had in mind. Unless he wrote those words to behold the majesty of a sub roll stuffed with three different kinds of fried foods. In that case, I totally nailed it.

20140111-ru-hungry-partial-menu.jpg

That fried food-stuffed roll is just one many members of the fat sandwich family. A fat sandwich is what you get when you cross a burger and/or a cheese steak and/or a gyro and/or bacon and/or eggs and/or dump on a sports bar appetizer platter—namely mozzarella sticks, chicken fingers, and fries—and douse it all in a sauce or two. It sounds like a monstrosity from Pawnee, Indiana,* but luckily for us non-fictional folks it hails from New Brunswick, New Jersey, where grease trucks at Rutgers University have been slinging fat sandwiches since the '80s.

* "First in friendship, fourth in obesity."

20140111-ru-hungry-truck.jpg

For about 20 years the grease trucks were located in a parking lot owned by Rutgers, but last August the trucks were forced to relocate to make way for a new development. I'm not familiar enough with the grease truck family to know if they've all reopened elsewhere, but I can tell you the most famous of these trucks, R U Hungry, moved about one and a half miles away from its original spot at 11 Nichol Avenue on Rutger's Douglass Campus.

20140111-ru-hungry-fat-darrell-unwrapped.jpg

With over 30 fat sandwiches to choose from and no patience to wade through the options, I took the easy way out with RU Hungry's most popular sandwich, the Fat Darrell ($6.50)—a sandwich so popular it has its own website, fatdarrell.com, and a trademarked name. What kind of sandwich is worth all that? A sandwich stuffed with chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks, french fries, and marinara sauce, that's what.

As fatdarrell.com explains, the Fat Darrell was invented by Rutgers student Darrell W. Butler back in 1997, borne out of a craving for the golden trio of chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks, and fries, and a lack of funds to buy all these things separately. Darrell convinced RU Hungry's then owner, Abdul Eid, to pile everything into a sandwich for $4.25. And then a bagillion people ordered it after him because it's one of the best combinations ever. Its popularity has been boosted by plenty of media attention, most notably from being dubbed the best sandwich in the country by Maxim magazine in 2004.

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So how does it taste if you're not drunk or high as a kite? As someone who doesn't drink or smoke, I say it tastes damn good. That's what I expected from a sandwich that combines three of my favorite junk foods. I wouldn't say it's better than eating chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks, and fries separately—it's just different. The best, most crucial part was the top layer of super crisp, fresh-from-the-oil-vat french fries. The chicken fingers were satisfactory, standard breaded protein strips, not especially dry or moist. I wouldn't have minded more mozzarella sticks; they got suffocated by the chicken and fries. (Actually, what might be really good is a Fat Darrell Parm blanketed in a layer of melted mozzarella. Or maybe that's overdoing it. Or maybe that's not. [strokes chin])

20140111-ru-hungry-fat-brian.jpg

Does the Fat Darrell deserve the title "Best Sandwich in America"? Come on. No. (Does any one sandwich deserve such a lofty title?) But I would put it on the list of great American sandwiches. And, man, we've got a lot of great sandwiches.

20140111-ru-hungry-fat-brian-picking-up.jpg

Because there's no reason vegetarians should be denied the privilege of stuffing themselves with excessively caloric foods, RU Hungry offers a handful of vegetarian fat sandwiches. I tried the Veggie Brian ($6.50) made with a veggie burger patty, not quite enough mozzarella sticks, plenty of french fries, and a few handfuls of shredded lettuce, all well lubricated with ketchup and mayo. Overall it's the fries and sauce you taste the most, and that's perfectly fine by me. The shredded lettuce lent a refreshing, light crunch—never a bad thing in a sandwich full of fries—and helped delude me into thinking I wasn't eating something terribly unhealthy.

20140111-ru-hungry-fat-darrell-bottle.jpg

Fat sandwiches are obviously not an everyday food. Maybe a quad-monthly food. The Fat Darrell has been reported to contain 1,718 calories and 78 grams of fat, and compared to the other fat sandwiches it sounds like one of the tamer choices. If you want to go a somewhat reasonable route, you could split one sandwich with a friend and both emerge feeling satisfied...but if you wanted a reasonable meal, you wouldn't be eating a fat sandwich. On that note, my friend and I completely finished our two sandwiches—I ate 3/4ths of sandwich, he ate the rest—and we felt...kind of ok after. Not terrible. Not filled with regret. We just didn't eat much for dinner.

20140111-ru-hungry-fat-darrell-robyn.jpg

To give you a sense of scale, here's the Fat Darrell next to a 20-ounce bottle, and laid before my gaping maw. It's not a ridiculously huge sandwich, it's just...stuffed with stuff.

What I don't understand is why fat sandwiches aren't more widespread. Lots of restaurants have the basic ingredients; it's just a matter of stuffing them all into a sub roll. Maybe an intrepid eater has to request a specially made sandwich to get the ball rolling at these unenlightened fat sandwich-less eateries. It brings to mind that false Ghandi quote, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." You can be that change. You can be that intrepid eater. (I'm probably not even applying that fake quote correctly, but whatever.)

Or you could refrain from eating fat sandwiches like a respectable human being. Whatever floats your boat. My boat is full of fat, so it's floating really well.

About the author: Robyn Lee is the editor of A Hamburger Today and takes many of the photos for Serious Eats. She'll also doodle cute stuff when necessary. Read more from Robyn at her personal food blog, The Girl Who Ate Everything.

07 Feb 21:45

Newswire: Someone sent death threats to a 5-year-old Disney star after her show featured lesbians

by Sean O'Neal
IKEA Monkey

that is fucked up

On January 26, the Disney Channel made a gentle stride into a more progressive era by featuring its first-ever same-sex couple on an episode of Good Luck Charlie, introducing two lesbian moms who bring their child over for a playdate, then show everyone they’re just like normal parents by not scissoring or establishing a golf pro shop in front of the kids. It was, as you might imagine, a controversial subject among those who spend their entire lives looking for things to be outraged about—such as One Million (Totally Not Gay) Moms, who sent out an urgent call for “conservative families” to raise their voices and decry Disney’s introducing these gay characters for one episode, right before they disappear forever, because Good Luck Charlie’s series finale is Feb. 16. Now police are investigating some voices who have been making death threats aimed at the show’s ...

07 Feb 21:00

You've Almost Got it!

IKEA Monkey

this beagle is a metaphor for all of life

Submitted by: Unknown

Tagged: dogs , table , almost , cute , Video
07 Feb 04:51

Woman Solves Traffic Problems In The Congo With A Giant Robot

by Jason Torchinsky on Jalopnik, shared by Rebecca Rose to Jezebel

Woman Solves Traffic Problems In The Congo With A Giant Robot

Kinshasa, the capital of the Democratic Republic of the Congo, isn't a great destination for orderly-traffic fetishists. Generally, it's chaos. But, if you happen to be a much more exciting giant robot fetishist, it's a great place, all thanks to inventor Isaie Therese and her 8-foot tall traffic control robots.

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07 Feb 02:42

Make a DIY TV Stand with an IKEA Expedit and Pallet Boxes

by Walter Glenn
IKEA Monkey

COREY

Make a DIY TV Stand with an IKEA Expedit and Pallet Boxes

The IKEA Expedit Bookshelf has proven pretty versatile. We already knew you could turn them into bed platforms, benches, and storage tables. Turns out, they make pretty great TV stands, as well.

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06 Feb 22:55

The Childfree Life Gets Its Own Commercial

by Kelly Faircloth
IKEA Monkey

ok I laughed when they got to the "side effects"

Does a blizzard of baby announcements have you feeling particularly skeptical of the notion of childrearing? Then you will probably enjoy this (fake) commercial for a groundbreaking new pharmaceutical development: Not Having Kids.

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06 Feb 16:32

NYC Schools to Get Islamic, Lunar Holidays Off

by Nadia Sikander
IKEA Monkey

this is gonna go over well

New York’s progressive new mayor is shunning the St. Patrick's Day Parade but embracing Eid al-Fitr — Bill De Blasio's office announced this week that public school will be soon shuttered for Muslim holidays and the Chinese New Year.






06 Feb 12:40

Cheapie makeup things that really work

by anneofgeekgables on Groupthink, shared by Rebecca Rose to Jezebel
IKEA Monkey

Wet N Wild black pencil eyeliner and Great Lash ultra-black mascara (2 coats). Vaseline or Chap Stick and a few other cheap things. I'm not a big fancy makeup person though I do like wearing makeup especially on my eyes.

Do you have some inexpensive makeup and skincare items that deserve a shout-out? I'm willing to drop some dollars on high-end stuff, but I also use plenty of drugstore brands that are awesome. A few things I highly recommend (I don't know the exact prices but I think these are pretty close):

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05 Feb 23:58

Newswire: Childish Gambino just recorded a pretty excellent P.M. Dawn cover

by Marah Eakin
IKEA Monkey

Oh this is so good

BBC Radio 1 has convinced all sorts of artists to cover tracks for its Live Lounge video series. Haim took on Miley Cyrus, Angel Haze did Beyoncé, and now Donald Glover has taken his turn. The former Community star known as Childish Gambino turned in a solid cover of P.M. Dawn’s 1992 hit “I’d Die Without You.” It’s so good, in fact, it kind of makes you wonder why Glover—if he's off TV comedy now—doesn't pursue more of a straight R&B sound instead of hip-hop. But as always with Glover, the heart wants what the heart wants, we guess.

Gambino's latest record, Because The Internet, is out now. 

[via Consequence Of Sound]

05 Feb 15:52

2014 Olympic Uniforms from Around the World

by Miss Cellania
IKEA Monkey

amazing

Last week we looked at what the U.S. Olympic team will have on in Sochi. Here's what the rest of the world will be wearing.

05 Feb 15:15

Reporters Arriving For Sochi Olympics Are Less Than Pleased With Nonexistent Hotel Rooms

by Chris Morran
IKEA Monkey

this is gonna be good

Yahoo Sports' Greg Wyshynski shared this photo on Twitter of the hotel room toilet that does not accept toilet paper.

Yahoo Sports’ Greg Wyshynski shared this photo on Twitter of the hotel room toilet that does not accept toilet paper.

The Winter Olympics start this week in Sochi, Russia, and you might be jealous of all the reporters getting paid to attend the games watch these events live. One thing you shouldn’t be envious of are the conditions of the hotel rooms these reporters are arriving to find.

The Washington Post has a pretty hilarious roundup of Tweets from numerous reporters who have reached Sochi only to find inadequate, incomplete, or nonexistent hotel rooms.

Here are some of our favorites from that story, along with some updates from those reporters:

The Globe & Mail’s Mark MacKinnon‘s Sochi hotel isn’t quite finished yet…

Ok, so my hotel doesn't have a lobby yet.—
Mark MacKinnon (@markmackinnon) February 04, 2014

For those of you asking, when there's no lobby in your hotel, you go to the owner's bedroom to check in. #Sochi2014
Mark MacKinnon (@markmackinnon) February 04, 2014

The slogan of the Sochi Olympics is "Hot. Cool. Yours." Only the last two words applied to my shower this morning.—
Mark MacKinnon (@markmackinnon) February 05, 2014

Stacy St. Clair of the Chicago Tribune isn’t drinking the Sochi Kool-Aid just yet… and certainly not with the yellow water coming from her hotel bathroom tap.

My hotel has no water. If restored, the front desk says, "do not use on your face because it contains something very dangerous." #Sochi2014
Stacy St. Clair (@StacyStClair) February 04, 2014

Water restored, sorta. On the bright side, I now know what very dangerous face water looks like. #Sochi #unfiltered http://t.co/sQWM0vYtyz
Stacy St. Clair (@StacyStClair) February 04, 2014

Also on the bright side: I just washed my face with Evian, like I'm a Kardashian or something.—
Stacy St. Clair (@StacyStClair) February 04, 2014

CNN sports producer Harry Reekie and his team arrived to find that months of preparation can go down the drain when the hotel rooms you booked don’t exist.

Over 48 hours after leaving London and still no hotel rooms ready for our team in Sochi. Accommodation situation here shambolic. #cnnsochi
Harry Reekie (@HarryCNN) February 04, 2014

CNN booked 11 rooms in one @Sochi2014 media hotel five months ago. We have been here for a day and only one room is available. #cnnsochi
Harry Reekie (@HarryCNN) February 04, 2014

This is the one hotel room @Sochi2014 have given us so far. Shambles. #cnnsochi http://t.co/RTjEkmyan3
Harry Reekie (@HarryCNN) February 04, 2014

@richard_conway The hotels may be open but the rooms are not ready in our one. Still. From what I hear the problem is widespread.—
Harry Reekie (@HarryCNN) February 04, 2014

Reekie Tweeted the issue to Sochi Organizing Committee President and CEO Dmitry Chernyshenko:

@DChernyshenko Our media hotel is not ready Dmitry….11 rooms booked five months ago, only one ready. Please help.—
Harry Reekie (@HarryCNN) February 04, 2014

For what it’s worth, the CEO’s hotel room isn’t just in good order, it also has an awesome view:

Waiting for interview with @Sochi2014 CEO @DChernyshenko – decent view from the roof of his building. #cnnsochi http://t.co/uSHHk1WS4s
Harry Reekie (@HarryCNN) February 05, 2014

Meanwhile, BBC Moscow bureau chief Kevin Bishop has this lovely decor in his unfinished accommodations:

The reception of our hotel in #Sochi has no floor. But it does have this welcoming picture. http://t.co/8isdoBuytl
Kevin Bishop (@bishopk) February 04, 2014

@OllieW the lack of floor is behind the counter. If there were a receptionist she would have to make her own arrangements for standing—
Kevin Bishop (@bishopk) February 04, 2014

05 Feb 13:45

El Quinto Pino Gets a New Menu and Finally a Place to Sit Down

by Max Falkowitz
IKEA Monkey

Sea anenome?

From Serious Eats: New York

20140131-el-quinto-pino-cabbage.jpg

Arroz brut de conejo. [Photographs: Max Falkowitz]

El Quinto Pino

401 West 24th Street (near 9th Ave.; map); 212-206-6900; elquintopinonyc.com
Service: Warm and professional
Setting: Tiny bar room is cramped but jovial; new dining room recalls mid-century living room design—in a good way
Must-Haves: Scrambled eggs with sea anemone, chickpeas and spinach, pan amb tomaca
Compare To: Txikito, Tia Pol
Grade: Recommended. Rewarding tapas and wine list get the dining room they deserve.

For years, El Quinto Pino has been my little place in Chelsea. I've lost count of how many dates I've taken there, or meetings I've had leaning against its walls, or casual meals of tapas I've eaten at the bar. Its only problem? It's not just mine.

When a bar runs all of 400 square feet, every body counts, and owners Alex Raij and Eder Montero know how to pack them in there. With its winning Spanish wine list (don't forget about the boozy horchata slushie), rewarding tapas, and "oh isn't this cute" tininess, the seven-year-old El Quinto Pino keeps a steady crowd of loyal customers, and it's a tight squeeze inside, even for contortionists trained on the 6 train at rush hour.

That all changed a few months ago when the bar annexed a dining room next door. For the first time in El Quinto Pino's history, cooks didn't need to step outside to reach the walk-in fridge. And the extra space, a whole lot bigger than the original bar, allowed for real tables and chairs and, glory be!, a chance to sit down for a proper meal. Oh, and did I mention they take reservations?

20140131-el-quinto-pino-eggs.jpg

There's an expanded menu, too, which maintains Raij's and Montero's mission of going above and beyond the cookie cutter tapas of New York's other Spanish joints. Old hits like the uni panino are joined by the likes of Scrambled Eggs with Sea Anemone, with soft, dense curds, still molten in pockets. At $14 it's one of New York's priciest plates of scrambled, but don't discount the anemone within, a crackly crust on its unfurled edges that gives way to meat as tender and sweet as a fried oyster's.

20140131-el-quinto-pino-room-composite.jpg

Those eggs tell you what you need to know about El Quinto Pino and its tendency to turn ordinary food into enthralling things. There's assiduous technique aided by uncommon ingredients, but in wee New York tapas sizes and for lofty New York tapas prices. With new real estate at the ready, the kitchen would do well to add some entrées to the menu for those seeking a a fuller meal.

20140131-el-quinto-pino-bread.jpg

In the meantime I'll happily scarf down more Pan amb Tomaca ($6) like so many Olive Garden breadsticks. Three batons of bread come rubbed with olive oil, garlic, and minced tomatoes, juicy and sweet even in February, a more glorious take on the humble Spanish pan con tomate. An extra $6 adds anchovies which whisper their fishiness just enough to make the tomatoes blush.

20140131-el-quinto-pino-chickpeas.jpg

I'll also accept paying $10 for El Quinto Pino's Spinach and Chickpeas because of the earthy musk the beans exude, a depth of flavor that veers towards smoke and a texture that manages to be completely tender but not at all mushy.

20140131-el-quinto-pino-lamb.jpg

But sometimes dishes' small size comes back to bite them. There's nothing wrong with Pinchos Morunos, richly spiced skewers of gamey lamb, except their $9 price tag for what amounts to an hors d'oeuvre. (The normal portion is two skewers, not the three pictured here.) And a dish like Arroz Brut de Conejo ($12) calls out the need for an entrée-sized portion. A fistful of jambalaya-esque rice with shreds of pulled rabbit needs more room to develop than allowed by its handball-sized wrapping of cabbage leaves. There's a subtle beauty in the accompanying saffron broth, but it wants for something more to do.

20140131-el-quinto-pino-pringa.jpg

Fortunately the selection of Bocadillos (toasted sandwiches) scales up. A Pringa Cubano ($15) for instance, is stuffed with cool, funky morcilla, ham, chilies, cheese, and pickles, familiar flavors with a few extras for good measure, plus a wide saucer of white sauce on the side that you'll want to spread over most of your meal.

20140131-el-quinto-pino-crema.jpg

Dessert ($8) also doesn't let you down; Crema Catalana starts with silky crème brûlée, caramelized crust and all, then adds a jolt of lemon zest. It'll make you wonder why other renditions of the dessert are so dull and slow-moving.

Among all of El Quinto Pino's changes, one thing hasn't: the crowds are still there, and the new dining room only seems to have encouraged them. I'm glad, for as long as they remain, my little place in Chelsea should stay put just fine. And now I have a place to put my coat.

About the author: Max Falkowitz is the New York editor and ice cream maker in residence at Serious Eats. You can follow him on Twitter at @maxfalkowitz.

04 Feb 22:48

BREAKING: Scotland has legalized marriage equality!

by Dodai Stewart

BREAKING: Scotland has legalized marriage equality! http://t.co/Bm16Y4s3oY pic.twitter.com/2jzXbIcr2y

— BuzzFeed LGBT (@BuzzFeedLGBT) February 4, 2014

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04 Feb 21:09

CNBC Is Running Ads for What Might Be an Escort Service

by Tracie Egan Morrissey
IKEA Monkey

Its so much weirder than that

There is a commercial for something called Super Model, Inc.—a luxury "VIP membership service"—that has been running during CNBC's primetime block that's so weirdly vague and cheaply made that it has to be advertising an escort service. Right?

Read more...


    






04 Feb 17:31

New York Times Now Holding Up Poor NYU Juniors For Terrible Ridicule, Mockery (By Us)

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

we think you'll agree this nyu dorm room is completely unacceptable
Why are you doing this, New York Times? Why are you taking what we’re sure is a very nice young woman, and forcing us to mock her horribly, and unkindly — as horribly and unkindly as if she’d put up a terrible Thought Catalog — when all she wanted was to find a reasonably nice apartment near NYU? NYT, are you actually evil?

We are not even going to name the young dummy in question; she will have enough following her around with the NEW YORK TIMES STORY with HER NAME ON IT that makes her sound LIKE A HUGE ASSHOLE. Suffice it to say she is a 21-year-old junior from San Diego, and she was a mite particular with her living situation. She did not care for her shared NYU dorm (been there!) but in her case, unlike in ours, she and her five dormmates had a six-”bedroom” suite for like $1000 each per month. (Twenty years ago, if you care at all, which why on earth would you, it was about $600 per month each to share three bedrooms and a kitchen with five other women at the Third Avenue North dorm. So, not bad, NYU! You may have gotten even a little less greedy!) Anyway, it was too loud for our heroine, and noise came in from the living room, and she has trouble sleeping, so her parents said, oh darling, of course we will give you $1850 a month to have a place of your own. So far, so not the worst thing we’ve ever heard in the world. BUT WAIT.

READ MORE

04 Feb 17:23

Brooklyn Decker’s ‘Girly Guide to the Super Bowl’ Is a Headache

by Doug Barry
IKEA Monkey

"Don't bleed your menstruation all over the football" #girlsguidetofootball

Brooklyn Decker’s ‘Girly Guide to the Super Bowl’ Is a Headache

To be absolutely honest, the mouth-sounds "Brooklyn Decker" seem like they should be the name of a Brooklyn-inspired sandwich with, like, four pounds of corned beef and eight slices of rye. They are instead the name of actress and former model Brooklyn Decker, a human woman with very shiny hair and an impressive series of "tips" to help all the football-ignorant laaaaaayyyyydeeeezzzz of 'Merica get through the spectacle of concussive consumerism called the "Super Bowl." Step 1: Prepare yourself for trite "advice" that only underscores the huge interest gap that is supposed to exist between the genders when it comes to pro sports.

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04 Feb 17:20

America Is Turning into a Nation of Puppy Fetishists

by Doug Barry
IKEA Monkey

shut up, jezebel

America Is Turning into a Nation of Puppy Fetishists

There will have been 10 — TEN — puppy bowls on Animal Planet after this year's Puppy Bowl X, a spectacle of unabashed puppy objectification, is in the books. Last year's Puppy Bowl attracted 12.4 million viewers, and proved itself to be a reliable alternative televised event for people who don't want to watch the Super Bowl, and though watching puppies gambol about a playpen littered with new toys sounds wholesome, our nation's growing culture of puppy worship raises some serious questions.

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04 Feb 02:57

Hug Your Birth Control: American Abortion Rate Hits A Historic Low

by Erin Gloria Ryan
IKEA Monkey

Turns out safe and readily available birth control is a proven way to stop abortions. Turns. Out.

Hug Your Birth Control: American Abortion Rate Hits A Historic Low

New research shows that the abortion rate in America is at its lowest level since the 1970's, and we have widely available, reliable birth control to thank. This data, in the face of other numbers that suggest the American birth rate is also at historic lows, suggests that women are simply exerting greater control over their own pregnancies. So hug your pills extra tight today. Look them in their pill-eyes. Tell them you love them.

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04 Feb 02:25

What the Northern Lights Really Look Like

by Chris Higgins
IKEA Monkey

So beautiful

We often see the aurora borealis (northern lights) in timelapse videos—but they can look pretty amazing in realtime too. In this video, photographer Kwon O Chul shows us realtime images of the lights above Yellowknife, Canada. If you're snowed in today, just remember that you could be seeing this—if you lived in the right place.

My favorite part, aside from the lights themselves, is the "ooh"s and "aah"s of people looking on. As Liz Lemon said, "I want to go to there."

(Via the always-wonderful The Kid Should See This.)

04 Feb 01:57

Music Video Of The Day: Janelle Monáe Ft. Erykah Badu 'Q.U.E.E.N.'

by Lisa White
IKEA Monkey

music video of my life

Music Video Of The Day: Janelle Monáe Ft. Erykah Badu 'Q.U.E.E.N.' February is Black History Month and while there are numerous events to celebrate in Chicago, we are going to take a daily moment to recognize some of our favorite exceptional black artists in music with our 'Music Video Of The Day' column this month. [ more › ]
    






04 Feb 01:38

The Real Super Bowl Winner Was Bruno Mars

by Rebecca Rose
IKEA Monkey

ERIN AND I WATCHED THIS TOGETHER AND IT WAS SO GOOD WE DANCED, IT WAS BEAUTIFUL

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EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ - FEBRUARY 02: Bruno Mars performs during the Pepsi Super Bowl XLVIII Halftime Show at MetLife Stadium on February 2, 2014 in East Rutherford, New Jersey. (Photo by Larry Busacca/Getty Images)

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04 Feb 01:36

Poll: Which Standard Burger Toppings Do You Secretly Despise?

by Erin Jackson
IKEA Monkey

Ketchup and mealy tomato slices. Fresh tomato slices are good, but winter mealy tomatoes are just mush.

From A Hamburger Today

The Capital Burger from Smashburger (AHT Review) [Photograph: Brian Oh]

Burgers generally come with the same veggies and condiments by default, but one thing I've learned by eating burgers with lots of different people is that it's totally normal to have a mild to intense dislike of at least one of the standard toppings. For me, it's ketchup (*shudder*) and onions (*gag*). How about you? Let us know which vegetables and condiments are permanently banned from your burgers in this week's poll.

Note: multiple selections are allowed, just in case there's more than one topping you can't stand.


Which of These Standard Burger Toppings Do You Secretly Despise?

Results of last week's poll

20140124-burger-king-rodeo-sandwich-open.jpg

Rodeo Burger from Burger King (AHT Review) [Photograph: Lee Movic]

Last week's poll revealed that 72 percent of AHT'ers like onion rings on their burgers (while 28 percent do not). Here are some of your thoughts on the subject:

We were only given two choices, so I had to say 'no way'. I don't mind onion rings on a burger, but I like 'em thin, crispy and salty. I've never had a good burger that had thick rings in it.

mavtheswine

Onion rings are okay on a burger, but onion straws are much better. A lot more crunch per bite than onion rings.

bevenson

Bacon, cheese, bbq sauce and onion rings is pretty much the standard burger special here in the UK. Its a yay from me!

Aharps

Note: the poll remains open, so these numbers may shift slightly in the future.

About the author: Erin Jackson is a food writer and photographer who is obsessed with discovering the best eats in San Diego. You can find all of her discoveries on her San Diego food blog EJeats.com. On Twitter, she's @ErinJax

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