IKEA Monkey

From Chicago

VIEW SLIDESHOW: First Look: Leghorn Chicken Brings 'Socially Conscious' Fried Chicken Sandwiches to Ukrainian Village

[Photographs: Nick Kindelsperger]

When Leghorn Chicken finally opened last Thursday after a few years of speculation and previews, the restaurant had enough chicken for about 600 sandwiches. According to an interview with Eater Chicago, co-owner Chris Dexter hoped that would be enough to cover the lunch and dinner rush. Instead, Leghorn sold out of sandwiches in 90 minutes. What the hell is going on here?

This is the latest project by the Element Collective, the same folks who cure their own sausage at Old Town Social and mill their own flour at Nellcôte. So it makes sense that the restaurant would go the extra mile at Leghorn Chicken. That starts with the chicken itself. As the name suggests, the chickens are sourced (according to website) from "local and sustainable farmers." Those chickens are also butchered daily, and divvied up for various uses. That explains why there are chicken tenders on the menu, and also why they only have a small amount to sell each day.

But make no mistake, this is primarily a fried chicken sandwich joint. You'd think that would make ordering easy, but as I'll try to explain, things get overwhelming very quickly. You start with the choice between breast or thigh. Next, you need to choose whether you want the meat Nashville Hot (which is actually both a specialty of Nashville and spicy) or Pickle Brined (the pickles on each sandwich are also made in house). From there, you need to settle on a soft housemade bun or a buttermilk biscuit. Still with me? Believe it or not, this just the beginning of the decision making process, because now you have to decide how many of the 12 different topping choices (the majority are 25¢ a piece, while three are 50¢). Oh, and there are also sides...

Is it worth all this effort? Because the restaurant just opened last week, it's too soon for a review, but there is no questioning the quality of the locally sourced chicken, which is juicy and full flavored. But if you want to see what the fuss is all about, check out our slideshow of a few of the dishes I tried yesterday.

[Photographs: Sheela Prakash]

It's not always easy get excited about winter vegetables. Yet when you're standing in the field with Paolo Manzan, the owner of a small organic farm just 20 miles north of Venice called Nonno Andrea, as he cradles a head of just-harvested radicchio, you may start to question why you're so eager for spring asparagus and peas in the first place.

Fields of Radicchio Rosso di Treviso

Radicchio, an Italian relative of chicory that's available from late fall through the winter, is rapidly becoming commonplace in the kitchens of chefs and home cooks who have fallen for its bitter, pungent taste. Yet Manzan isn't growing just any radicchio. He's one of the few growing true Radicchio Rosso di Treviso, one of five varieties of radicchio native to Italy that is of protected geographical indication (Indicazione Geografica Protetta or IGP). To obtain this certification the product must originate from a specific region, and its quality, reputation, and characteristics must be able to be traced back to its geographical origin. This vegetable is so highly celebrated by the Italian people that it also has its own consortium of 140 members whose aim is to protect and promote the product while educating consumers. Manzan has been the president of the consortium since 2009.

Paolo Manzan explaining the harvesting process

Nonna Andrea was founded in 1991 when Manzan and his wife Sonia were looking for a a lifestyle change that was more in tune with nature. The farm is located in the small village of Villorba, in the province of Treviso, and composed of roughly 125 acres. While the farm grows a variety of fruits and vegetables—along with maintaining Merlot and Prosecco vineyards, beehives for the production of organic honey, and a small cultivation of hops for beer production in collaboration with a neighboring brewery—the heart of their winter production is radicchio.

The late Tardivo variety ready to be picked

Manzan says there are three ingredients that make Radicchio Rosso di Treviso so unique—"earth, time and knowledge." As an IGP product, it must be cultivated in the countryside of 24 municipalities in the region of Veneto within the provinces of Treviso, Venice, and Padua. Traditional seeds are planted in pots to bloom before the seedlings are planted in the fields at the end of July, where they grow organically without chemical fertilizers. Two harvest times allow for two different varieties of Radicchio Rosso di Treviso. Harvested straight from the ground in September and cleaned, the Precoce variety has deep purple leaves, a mild bitterness, and a shape similar to Belgian endive.

The whitening process

Treviso's second harvest, the Tardivo variety, is a bit more unique. "It's the only one that doesn't leave the field and come to the table, but it still needs a long manufacturing process," says Manzan. "The cultivation is combined with knowledge about the craft." The second harvest always begins in November after at least two frosts. For the untrained eye the plants actually look overgrown, brown, and dead. Yet the magic happens after harvest, when the plants undergo whitening. The roots of the plants are soaked in 60°F water for 14 to 20 days under a thick tarp to maintain darkness. During this time photosynthesis stops due to lack of sunlight, but because of the warmth of the water, the middle of the plant sprouts and whitens. The outer leaves are stripped and what's left is a radicchio with more pronounced white ribs and deep purple finger-like leaves. This late variety has a stronger flavor and because of the additional labor involved, is considered to be more valuable and thus more expensive.

After whitening, the radicchio is stripped and cleaned

Both varieties of Radicchio Rosso di Treviso add brightness and color to an often drab array of winter vegetables and a bitter kick that is both welcomed and slightly addictive. Look for it at Whole Foods and specialty markets like Dean & Deluca and Eataly, if you're lucky enough to be within distance of one of its two U.S. branches in Chicago or New York. It's at its sharpest raw, in salads such as this bittersweet salad, where it maintains its fierce bite. Yet with a bit of cooking it mellows out to become tame and balanced like in radicchio risotto, sausage and radicchio pizza or farro with radicchio, prosciutto and orange. Or just enjoy it on its on, roasted in the oven with a bit of olive oil, salt and pepper. Maybe winter isn't so bad after all.

About the author: Sheela Prakash is currently getting her master's degree in Food Culture and Communications at the University of Gastronomic Sciences in Pollenzo, Italy. You can follow her at Cucinetta or on Instagram @sheelamp.

Mothers-in-law. ‘Nuff said.

related: Nobody does guilt trips quite like Grandma

extra credit: sixwordmemoirs.com

President Obama is the guest on the latest episode of Between Two Ferns, the faux-community access show hosted by comedian Zach Galifianakis, and he is fantastic.

Read more...

From A Hamburger Today

Editor's note: Grilled is our interview series where we get to know more about our favorite burger makers and burger lovers. The column has been dormant for too long—it's time for us to ramp it up! If there you have any suggestions for people we should grill, drop us a line at burger@seriouseats.com.

[Photograph courtesy of Joshua Spiegelman and Lynn Gorfinkle]

Since we last checked in with Roam Artisan Burgers, owners Joshua Spiegelman and Lynn Gorfinkle opened two more locations, and plan to expand their "fun, family-friendly and eco-conscious" burger concept with additional restaurants in the Bay Area and beyond. Scroll down to learn more about the dynamic duo's burger preferences and get some burger-making tips.

Name: Joshua Spiegelman and Lynn Gorfinkle
Location: Roam Artisan Burgers (Union Street and Fillmore Street in San Francisco, CA; La Fiesta Square in Lafayette, CA)
Occupation: Owners

What makes Roam Artisan Burgers a new different type of burger restaurant?

At Roam, we focus on sourcing the highest quality ingredients from local artisans and purveyors. We are committed to sustainability. Our beef is 100% grass-fed, and all of our meats are pasture-raised. Our produce is sourced locally, and our sodas are house made. Everything we do at Roam is focused on two core principles: 1) Great tasting food that is better for you and the environment, 2) providing a fun, hip and casual environment for families, singles, couples and really everyone to enjoy our food.

Fillmore Street location [Photograph: Roam Artisan Burgers]

How did you first come up with the idea for a restaurant like this?

We met first in 2004 and discussed the idea of a burger place that serves fine-dining quality food in a casual environment. To our surprise, this concept didn't really exist, so we said "Let's do it!"

Do you see your restaurant expanding to even more locations?

Absolutely. We have three locations now (two in San Francisco, and one in Lafayette), and have several that are currently being planned in the Bay Area and beyond.

How often per week do you eat a burger?

Lynn: Sometimes I eat burgers, but more often than not, I will have a Farmer's Market Salad with a trio of turkey patties, or the seasonal veggies with an organic free-range egg. This is about three times per week.

Josh: Probably about three time per week (often more than that). I usually go for a Tejano or create my own burger with a gluten-free bun or lettuce wrap.

Tejano burger [Photograph: Paige Green Photography]

What's the craziest burger you've ever invented?

Josh: Our Tejano is pretty crazy: your choice of patty (beef, turkey, bison, veggie or elk), with house-made jalapeño relish, house-made corn strips, house-made herb ranch, pepper jack, avocado and tomato. It is a cool contrast of flavors and textures. The spicy/sweet jalapeño relish and the mellow herb ranch, then the soft, toasted sesame seed bun and the crunch tortilla strips....people go crazy over this burger and it is one of our favorites as well!

Lynn: Our veggie burger "French & Fries style" is outrageous. We start with our house-made organic veggie patty, add truffle parmesan fries (yes, on top of the burger!), gruyere cheese, Dijon mustard, caramelized onions, watercress, and avocado. There's a lot of flavor going on!

What topping or condiment, in your opinion, should never grace a burger?

Our brûléed marshmallow is delicious, but belongs on one of our Straus Family Creamery shakes, not a burger!

Would you do us the favor of describing your perfect burger?

Josh: A perfect burger begins with the bun, which should be soft and fluffy, yet lightly toasted so that it is crisp on the edges. Also, in each bite there should be a taste of all components of the burger—fresh tomato, lettuce, onions and pickles.

Lynn: My perfect burger has sustainably sourced protein (I usually opt for turkey, which we source from Diestel Family Ranch), locally grown toppings, such as perfectly ripe California avocado and for me, something spicy (such as hot sauce or Dijon) to take it to the next level.

Anything on the side?

Josh: Sometimes I opt for sweet potato fries, but a salad and an iced tea are usually my sides of choice.

Lynn: When I have a burger, I really enjoy eating it with a side of our seasonal veggies (currently, asparagus with lemon, garlic, Manchego cheese and crisp shallots).

The hamburger is a food item with which most Americans have strong childhood associations. Do you remember your earliest encounter with this delicious dish?

Lynn: We used to have burgers while at summer camp in Vermont; eating outdoors with friends by a serene lake left an indelible image in my mind.

Josh: My mom used to make home-made burgers and we could add our own toppings; my brother and I would compete over who could add more bacon.

Shake Shack burger [Photograph: Robyn Lee]

What's your favorite fast-food burger?

Lynn: Shake Shack in NY—it's a classic burger spot that started close to my home town, so they really hit on the nostalgic elements of an old-time burger place.

Josh: In-N-Out. All of the elements are there; crisp, yet soft bun, nicely griddled patty and delicious caramelized onions. I also like the ability to customize even in spite of the small menu.

What are some cooking tips you can offer when preparing a burger?

Josh: We recommend using a flat top griddle for full contact of the patty and maximum caramelization. It is also important, especially when dealing with leaner meats like grass-fed beef, bison and turkey, not to overcook. Really, your first step in making a great burger is purchasing high-quality ingredients.

Lynn: It all starts with the farmer, rancher and baker. Utilizing traditional methods maintains authenticity, maximum nutritional benefits...all translating to awesome flavors!

Thanks, Josh and Lynn! It's been a pleasure.

About the author: Erin Jackson is a food writer and photographer who is obsessed with discovering the best eats in San Diego. You can find all of her discoveries on her San Diego food blog EJeats.com. On Twitter, she's @ErinJax

Love hamburgers? Then you'll Like AHT on Facebook! And go follow us on Twitter while you're at it!

It's time, once again, to marvel at some chumps who don't know how to handle the world:

Cry-Baby #1: Rachel Canning

Photos via Facebook.

The incident: A girl's parents wouldn't pay her college tuition or buy her a new car.

The appropriate response: Loans/jobs.

The actual response: She sued them.

Earlier this week, 18-year-old honor student Rachel Canning filed a lawsuit against her parents in Morristown, New Jersey.

In her suit, Rachel claims that her parents failed to financially support her since she moved out of their house last October. She is suing them for money to pay for a bunch of stuff, including college. 

In court documents, she wrote, "My parents simply will not help me any longer. They want nothing to do with me and refuse to even help me financially outside the home although they certainly have the ability to do so… I am unable to support myself and provide for my food, shelter, clothing, transportation, and education."

Rachel is asking that her parents pay for her tuition at the private high school she attends, as well as the college course she is due to start in the fall. She also wants them to give her a weekly allowance, cover her "transportation," and reimburse her attorney fees.

There is some dispute over what made Rachel leave the family home last October. Rachel claims that her parents had been abusive and kicked her out when she turned 18. Her parents claim that she moved out voluntarily because she didn't want to follow their rules regarding chores, boyfriends, and curfews.

According to Buzzfeed, a representative for Child Protective Services visited the Canning family home last year after Rachel complained to a teacher that her parents were abusing her. The representative reportedly left three hours later after determining that Rachel was "spoiled."

"Private school, new car, college education: That all comes with living under our roof," her dad, Sean, told WABC-TV.

The case made it to court yesterday. A New Jersey family court judge ruled that Rachel's parents would not have to pay for her high school tuition.

They delayed a ruling in the decision over college fees, asking lawyers to consider whether it's a good idea to "establish precedent where parents live in fear of establishing rules of the house."

The next hearing is scheduled for April 22.

Cry-Baby #2: Matthew Bossard and Leticia Kagele

The incident: A drunk couple were denied service at a pizza place because they were too drunk.

The appropriate response: Maybe some small amount of pleading, before giving up and going home. 

The actual response: They tried to burn down the pizza place with its employees inside.

Which of these guys is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know in this poll down here, K?

 

Who is the bigger cry-baby?

 

 

Previously: A school that suspended a kid for accidentally bringing a beer to class vs. a hotel that banned a customer for making a joke

Winner: The school!

Follow Jamie "Lee Curtis" Taete on Twitter.

House Plant Cupcakes are brought to us by Alana Jones-Mann. The creative spin on the ubiquitous cupcake are made to look like small cacti, which will be a hit with cupcake and house plant enthusiasts alike.

There’s a great tutorial on how to do your own. Deadly spikes are optional.

[link, via Blazenhoff]

From Serious Eats: New York

[Photograph: Max Falkowitz]

I don't need to tell you that Russ and Daughters knows its fish. While the Lower East Side institution is known as the place to get old school smoked seafood, they don't have a problem with trying something different.

You can see that adventurous side in their Fancy Delancy sandwich ($9) on a bagel or new-and-improved Kossar's bialy. The base of the sandwich is smoked tuna, lightly smoky with a delicate tuna richness. A standard schmear is subbed out for rich horseradish dill cream cheese, and bright green wasabi-infused flying fish roe provide a delightful crunch—if not a ton of wasabi flavor.

It sounds at first like the Fancy Delancey might have too much going on, but any fears subside after the first bite. It's fantastic sandwich serving of the Russ & Daughters name.

About the author: Rabi Abonour is an editorial intern at Serious Eats. A Midwest native, he's taken up the challenge of exploring New York one bite at a time. You can find him on his blog, Twitter, and Instagram.

At first, reading words like “oozed with sizzling fat” or “extra-tender meat” conjures up a tempting culinary event. But what if those words were linked with “fish heads”? That kind of dining experience is what many experts say could be a key component to reducing the world’s food waste. Yes, eating fish heads.

After all, it’s not uncommon in many other countries in the world to eat the parts of a fish we Westerners tend to go for, which is usually a boneless fillet. As NPR’s The Salt explains, with the above tantalizing description, there’s a lot of meat to be had in the head — including the eyeballs and softer pieces of cartilage.

But because so many people shun fish byproducts, a whole lot of heads, tails and other bits are either fed to livestock, made into fertilizer or just tossed out. That practice is wasteful, the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization said recently.

“We must ensure that these byproducts are not wasted,” Audun Lem, chief of FAO’s products, trade and marketing branch, said in a statement.

But… the whole fish? What is there even to eat in there? A lot, a scientist with the FAO tells The Salt — fish bones, brains, cartilage and fat are nutritious, containing extra-high levels of vitamin A, omega-3 fatty acids, iron, zinc and calcium, he says. And if we’re eating that stuff, we’re reducing pollution from processing facilities.

“From the nutritional, environmental and economic points of view, it makes perfect sense to use all parts of the fish,” he explained, except for shark orange roughy, swordfish and some tuna heads, which could contain high levels of mercury and other toxins.

Even if the idea of chowing down on a fish head makes you want to never eat anything ever again because your stomach just couldn’t take it, you could already be eating them anyway. One Alaskan company renders salmon heads into oil, that’s then sold in capsules as a nutritional supplement.

The co-owner of the company says that’s probably the best way to go about it for Americans.

Co-owner Richard Mullins says that seems to be the most effective way to market the nutritional goodness of fish heads to Americans.

“We have a thing in our culture about eating things with eyes,” he says.

Indeed. Thank goodness this wasn’t a lunchtime post.

You can follow MBQ on Twitter but you should know she probably won’t be eating fish heads anytime soon: @marybethquirk

Why We Should Quit Tossing Fish Heads And Eat ‘Em Up Instead. Yum! [The Salt]

Don't wear white, don't get too trashed, don't complain about the food -- and other rules for being a great wedding guest.

Now take this list to your favorite dive bar, enjoy reading it over a shot and a beer and maybe make plans to visit one of the 13 dives we included this year. [ more › ]

Cam Girl Has Ash On Forehead

It's often said that "Chicago is a city of neighborhoods." Where do the names for all these neighborhoods come from?

Entertainment Tonight has released an exclusive first look at that Jay-Z and Will Smith-produced Annie remake that updates the Depression-era original to present-day New York. The new version maintains the musical’s iconic songs while reimagining Annie as a tough foster kid and Daddy Warbucks as Benjamin Stacks, a New York City politician running for mayor. And while Beast Of The Southern Wild’s Quvenzhané Wallis is an inspired bit of casting for the titular role, it’s everyone else who will inspire concern. The teaser shows Jamie Foxx (as Stacks) and Cameron Diaz (as Annie’s mean foster mother Miss Hannigan) at their hammiest. And while Jay-Z’s involvement seemed to suggest the remake would get some hip-hop edge, this trailer makes it look just as corny and heartwarming as the original. Musical theater fans can make more preemptive judgments once the full trailer premieres—appropriately enough—tomorrow ...

Chris Harrison really enjoys speaking in hyperbole, but it was easy to believe him when he said that Monday night's "Women Tell All" episode of The Bachelor was "unlike" any he had ever hosted before. Why? Because for once, all the women had banded together to hate the Bachelor , not each other.

Read more...

Real Housewives of New Jersey star Teresa Giudice and her husband Joe both pled guilty to fraud charges and other charges at Newark Federal Court on Tuesday after striking a plea deal with prosecutors. Teresa is facing 21 to 27 months in prison.

Read more...

[Photographs: Joe Roy]

A few Saturdays back, Toon's Bar & Grill in Lakeview kicked off crawfish season with an all you can eat boil. With Mardi Gras just around the corner and celebrations in NOLA already in full swing, this marked a chance for those of us in frigid Chicago to get in on the action, too.

Tickets always sell out to these events, but it turns out that those in attendance were doubly lucky this time: thanks to uncharacteristically low temperatures in the Bayou this year, the crawfish yield has been smaller than most. I was lucky enough to snag a ticket and get a behind the scenes look at just what goes into one of these boils. And get really, really full on crawfish.

The boil begins with live crawfish overnighted from Louisiana. It doesn't get any fresher than watching your lunch walk the plank, does it? 

The little guys are welcomed to the big city with three changes of water and a trip to an industrial water boiler, their color transforming from speckled brown and red to various shades of muddy.

When they're mostly cooked through, the crawfish are transferred to one of three "flavor pots" where they're finished with red potatoes, cobbed corn, sliced sausage, hot dog hunks,whole heads of garlic, halved lemons, quartered onions, and Louisiana Crawfish Company brand boil seasoning. All but the crawfish and maybe a hunk or two of potato and corn are filler to be ignored, but the seasoning deserves special mention for being spicy and complex without overpowering.

Everything, including the now vibrantly ruby red crawfish, is  drained, transferred to large beer coolers, and brought inside by one of the affable staff members for serving.

For $30, you're presented with a wristband that's good for your choice of Abita Brewing Company Beer and all you can eat crawfish boil and "muffaletta" sandwiches (more on the quotation marks below). 

New to the mudbug game, my first platter was admittedly intimidating. "Crawfish is like marriage," a friend of my father's once told me. "It's a lot of work for not much meat." I'm smart enough not to touch that with a 10 foot pole (I love you, honey!), but I will say that there is an art to eating these fellas.

heads to the left, tails to the right

Luckily, I sat next to two pros, one hailing from New Orleans, the other from Mississippi, and both longtime attendees at Toon's various boils. Eating crawfish, I learned, is all about compartmentalizing: you yank the Head from the Tail and address them separately. First, look down the barrel of the neck, pucker up, and suck. You'll be rewarded with a briny, spicy liquid that's apparently a delicacy at these functions. It's really good, as long as you don't think about it much. Second, slide your fingernail along the spine of the tail, snap through the eggshell brittle shell, devein as you're able, and enjoy this tiny little lobster tail. Repeat, repeat, repeat, and repeat until you're full. It takes a while, but that's why you have access to beer, too.

And trayfuls of "Muffaletta" Sandwiches. These aren't your Central Grocery wedges, and judging by the look of them, I had pretty low expectations. Man, was I surprised. The sharp provolone and olive salad (despite being chock full of canned black ones) worked in tandem to create a rich, punchy sandwich, righting the wrongs of the ham-heavy, packaged deli meat and so-so hoagie bread. Maybe it was how much they reminded me of the tailgate sandwiches of my youth, but I devoted way more stomach space to these than I intended.

Looking around at the bright bead be-necked patrons filling the room, it was clear that these people were in it for the long haul: platter after platter, table after table. I was not one of those people. One hour in and all by my lonesome, I was bored with crawfish surgery. I washed the ocean from my hands and quietly slipped out the door, not knowing if I'd ever make the trip back. A few days later, though, with the temperature back down in familiar single digits, I'm already longing for another taste of a coast I've never known. I'll be back—and next time, with friends.

Live from the store-closing sale of yet another Kmart, reader Amanda sent us this strange unitasking appliance that we were not previously aware existed.

What if you say to yourself, “that’s good, but I really wish that it had cross-branding for some kind of fizzy sugar water.” You’re in luck!

While checking to make sure this was a real product and Amanda wasn’t just messing with us, we discovered that the company is real. They also make cotton candy and snow-cone makers, and popcorn machines, if you’re into that kind of thing.

Take Our Poll

Amazon reviews on this product are mixed, by the way. “This toaster is poorly made and I’m taking it back! I’ll stick to the microwave or boiling water!” wrote one reviewer. Poor quality is a recurring theme, as is the fact that the hot dogs barely cook. Maybe you’re better off microwaving, after all.

This Sunday is Hollywood’s big night. Everywhere you look, you’ll see bow ties and bangles, diamonds and pearls–and that’s just at the viewing party at my house! If you’re planning an Oscar Party to enjoy the festivities while you pull for your favorite on-screen stars, we’ve put together a menu of healthy recipes inspired by the Oscar nominees to serve at your get-together. And this goes almost without saying: Spoiler Alert!

Fig and Lime Jam, Despicable Me 2
Gru tried to give up the villain life by redirecting his minions to making homemade jellies and jam. In the end, he saves the day by blasting the mutant minions with antidote-filled jelly. Go Gru! Try making your own Fig and Lime Jam, perfect spread on bruschetta with a little goat cheese.

Microwave Sweet Potato Chips, American Hustle
Jennifer Lawrence’s Long Island housewife character, Rosalyn Rosenfeld, gets a new “science oven” and nearly burns down the kitchen. Try our ingenious Microwave Sweet Potato Chips and don’t worry, as Rosalyn did, that you’re destroying an ounce of nutrition. (Note: Leave the metal out of the microwave!) And seriously, David O. Russell, we didn’t think we could love J Law more, but we do, thanks to you!

Bistro Steak with Red Wine Sauce and Texas Sheet Cake, Dallas Buyers Club
Ron Woodruff (Matthew McConaughey) tries to impress Eve (Jen Garner), a doctor at a Houston hospital, by taking her to a steak house and ordering a bottle of their finest cabernet. Impress your own crowd with our super-elegant and superfast Bistro Steak with Red Wine Sauce. And if you need a big dessert to match the big personalities and performances in this movie, our classic Texas Sheet Cake, a fudgy cake topped with a thin, crackly glaze, will be alright, alright, alright with everyone at your gathering.

Sangria Ice, Limoncello Freeze, and Ice Cream Treasures, Frozen
If your darling kids are as Frozen-obsessed as some of the younger ones I know (heck, even some of the adults are positively gaga for this movie), sit back and enjoy (with other adults in the room) our Sangria Ice or Limoncello Freeze while awaiting the results and Idina Menzel’s live performance. Need a kid-friendly frozen treat, too? Of course you do. Pick from our Top-Rated Frozen Desserts. May we suggest the playful Ice Cream Treasures?

And for the true Frozen-fanatics… Carrot Salad with a Hit of Heat and Chocolate Frangelico Foundue, Frozen
If you’re going all out and putting all your Oscar eggs in the Frozen basket, we’ve got a few more ideas for you. Kristoff’s reindeer, Sven, loves carrots, so how about Carrot Salad with a Hit of Heat to warm up the frozen theme? Anna and Prince Hans fall in love over some chocolate fondue—or Chocolate-Frangelico Fondue if you really want to bring on the party.

Lemony Blackberry-Vodka Gelées, Blue Jasmine
Jasmine (Cate Blanchett) clutches a bottle of Stoli in nearly every scene of this Woody Allen film. These boozy bites look like they belong in the upper class world to which she is trying so desperately to return. Try blueberries in place of blackberries for an even more literal touch!

Lemon-Gin Sparkling Cocktail, The Great Gatsby
The party life of Jay Gatsby is filled with pomp and pizzazz, champagne and cognac. It’s a glamorous world to be sure. Our Lemon-Gin Sparkling Cocktail, a French-inspired champagne cocktail, would be all the rage at one of Gatsby’s parties.

Cornmeal-Dusted Catfish with Quinoa Sauté, August: Osage County
A heart-breaking relationship between Violet (Meryl Streep) and her daughter, Barbara (Julia Roberts), is the backdrop of a family drama that is at once captivatingly complex but downright hilarious. The fish scene–you’ll know it if you’ve seen the movie–demands a dish you’d never imagine throwing. If only Violet had been served our delicious Cornmeal-Dusted Catfish with Quinoa Sauté, she might not have resisted eating her fish…

Western Omelet, Philomena
Nothing in this life (or at least in this set of Oscar contenders) is more adorable than Philomena’s fascination with the omelet bar. And don’t worry, Philomenas of the world–while she’s right, portions are out of control in this country, this one is just right.

Discover whether you are guilty of maleficium and/or would have been accused of practicing witchcraft according to the laws and evidence used during the 1692 Salem Witch Trials.

We’ve all had a heaping bowl of noodles. But unless you’ve been to Kyoto-based, Tawaraya, you have probably never had a bowl of noodle.

The noodle shop makes this one particular form of udon where, rather than a series of noodles intermingling in a pool of broth, Tawaraya fills the bowl with one long continuous noodle. Good luck trying to slurp that thing.

[via Rocket News and Laughing Squid]

In a series of bizarre events that read like a half-baked plot arc from a dystopian novel, Kim Kardashian was forced to leave a Viennese ball early — abandoning the 81-year-old Austrian man who had paid her and her mother, Kris Jenner, $500,000 to attend the event with him.

Read more...

It's time, once again, to marvel at some idiots who don't know how to handle the world:

Cry-Baby #1: Livingston High School 

Video via @niallkenny

The incident: A kid confessed to his teacher that he'd accidentally brought a can of beer to school.

The appropriate response: Thanking him for his honesty. 

The actual response: He was suspended.

Last week, 17-year-old Chaz Seale was hurriedly packing his school lunch at home in Livingston, Texas. When trying to grab a soda, he accidentally took a can of Coors Light instead.  "He was in a hurry, running late. We were talking about school, and he put it all together and took off," his mother Christi told ABC Eyewitness News. 

During his third period, Chaz discovered the beer while looking for something in his bag. 

He took the unopened can to his teacher and explained what had happened. 

The teacher reported Chaz to the school's principal, who responded by suspending him for three days. He was then told he would be sent to an alternative school for an additional two months. 

"I gave it to the teacher thinking I wouldn't get in trouble, and I got in trouble," Chaz said.

In a statement, Livingston Independent School DIstrict said, "The principal of Livingston High School followed approriate LISD administrative procedures and protocol."

Chaz's mom is currently appealing the punishment. 

Cry-Baby #2: The Hilton Basingstoke

Image via Twitter user @xtreemx

The incident: A man made a terrible joke while checking into a hotel.

The appropriate response: Groaning.

The actual response: The hotel banned him for life. 

Earlier this month, 35-year-old Jason Payne (pictured above with an ecstatic Liam Gallagher) booked a room at the Hilton in Basingstoke, UK.

While making the booking, he wrote a joke in the online booking form's "additional comments" section. It read, "There's a large snake in my trousers. Hope that's OK."

When he was checking into the hotel a few days later, the receptionist saw the joke and laughed. "It was a joke, and I had no idea that staff would read it," Jason said. "The woman at the reception just suddenly burst out laughing hysterically and appeared very amused. I had no idea why, and then she read the comments to me... Her colleague then also laughed."

According to Jason, neither staff member seemed offended by the joke. 

Jason stayed at the hotel for one night before checking out. When he got home, he received an email from one of the managers of the hotel, informing him that he was banned from the premises. "We are not willing to accept that our team members are ever put into an uncomfortable situation, due to the abusive language a guest uses talking to them, writing them, or even on the booking form they fill in online," the email read. 

In a statement, a representative for Hilton confirmed that the incident had taken place, and said the decision to ban Jason was made "at the discretion of the hotel team." 

Meanwhile, Jason says that the banning will not make him stop joking around. "I find there's a universal sense of humor when the context is just a bit of a laugh," he said. "The comment was a bit of Austin Powers–style sophomoric banter, which regularly draws laughs."

*SHUDDER*

Which of these organizations is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know in this poll down here:

Who is the bigger cry-baby?

Previoulsy: A guy who murdered two people over dog poop vs. a woman who bought out a store's entire stock of shirts because she was offended by them

Winner: The murderer!

Follow Jamie on Twitter.