IKEA Monkey

Pork shoulder is beloved for good reason: it's cheap, forgiving, and it can feed an army. Those reasons alone make it a winner of a cut in my book. It's also barbecue spice-ready, too, as you'll see here. And when that version is paired with a homemade, garden-fresh condiment, it comes mighty close to being my personal version of heaven on earth. Read More

Oh my God, ohmigod, OMG. Oscar winner Mary Steenburgen is not only joining season 3 of Orange Is the New Black, she'll be taking on the role of George "Pornstache" Mendez's Mommy Dearest!

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Thousands of ducks flood the streets in Thailand.

It's the end of an era! Specifically, an era when you could readily locate and pay full price for pastel terrycloth trackpants with the word "JUICY" emblazoned real big across the butt. Juicy Couture—early-oughts icon and ever-present uniform of girls who were mean to me in college—is shuttering all of its US stores this month.

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It's time, once again, to marvel at some idiots who don't know how to handle the world:

Cry-Baby #1: The Perry Family

Screencaps via CBS Boston

The incident: A family was told they were not allowed to bring knives into an amusement park.

The appropriate response: Nothing. Why on earth would you be allowed to bring a knife into an amusement park?

The actual response: They attacked two cops and started a mini riot.

On Monday, five members of the Perry family attempted to visit the Canobie Lake amusement park in Salem, New Hampshire.

At least two members of the family had hunting knives attached to their belts as they tried to enter the park. Predictably, a member of staff told them they were not allowed to take the knives into the park and would have to leave them in their car. 

This didn't sit too well with the family, who reportedly became "belligerent" and launched a "swear-filled tirade" against the staff member. 

Two police officers who were already at the park tried to intervene. After giving several verbal warnings to the family, an officer told a male member of the family that he was under arrest and attempted to handcuff him. 

As he placed the cuffs on the man, the rest of the family attacked, jumping on the officers' backs, punching them, kicking them, and attempting to grab their weapons. Both officers were injured. One had to be treated for a dislocated shoulder. 

When backup arrived and moved to arrest everyone, the mother of the family faked a seizure. She was examined by paramedics at the scene, who concluded she was a massive fucking liar. 

The family was charged with a range of crimes including felony riot, resisting arrest, and disorderly conduct. 

Cry-Baby #2: Megan Elizabeth Everett

The incident: A woman didn't want her daughter to be vaccinated or taught about black people at school.

The appropriate response: Ceasing to be a moron.

The actual response: She kidnapped her daughter. 

Megan Elizabeth Everett (pictured above, left) and Robert Baumann have a two-year-old daughter named Lily (above, right). Megan and Robert share 50-50 custody of the child. 

Or they did up until May 6, when Megan kidnapped Lily.

The last time Robert saw his daughter was when he dropped her off at Megan's home in Sunrise, Florida, on May 6. As per the terms of their shared-custody agreement, Megan was meant to return the child a week later. 

She never showed up. Instead, she left a note for Robert, which, according to the Sun Sentinel, read:

You are a great dad. If I let them take her and vaccinate her and brainwash her, I wouldn't be doing what's right. I cannot let a judge tell me how my daughter should be raised. We will miss you. But I had to leave.

The word great was underlined.

There is currently a warrant out for the arrest of Megan on charges of interference with custody, kidnapping, and concealing a minor contrary to court order. 

The Sun-Sentinel reports that Megan went off the rails when she became involved with a new boyfriend, whom they describe as a "Confederate-flag-waving gun enthusiast."

"One of the issues we had was, she wanted to homeschool my daughter," Robert, the kidnapped girl's father, told the paper. "She didn't want Lilly to learn about black history. She just wanted her to learn about the Confederacy."

Robert had planned to enroll his daughter in preschool the next time he had her. He also planned to have her vaccinated. "She found this new idea that vaccines are horrible," he said. 

"In the state of mind my daughter is in, Lily would be better off with Robert," Megan's mom, Pam Everett said.

After Robert reported Lilly's disappearance, Sunrise Police went to Megan's last known address, where they found her new boyfriend. 

He told them that Megan and Lily were gone and "not coming back." According to court documents, "[he] informed detectives that [Megan] knew she would have to live her life as a fugitive... However, in her mind, the time that she spent with her daughter 'free' of Baumann would be 'worth it,' regardless of how brief it was."

Megan and Lilly are currently still missing. 

Which of this lot is the bigger cry-baby? Let us know in this poll, please:

Who is the bigger cry-baby?

Previously: Some women who got mad because they were fined for littering vs. a school that suspended a kid for accidentally bringing in a toy gun.

Winner: The cigarette ladies!!!

Follow Jamie Lee Curtis Taete on Twitter.

Former Illinois congresscritter and forever deadbeat dad Joe Walsh was sent home early from his job as a wingnut talk radio host Thursday, because obviously the management of the radio station has no idea how Free Speach* works. See, all he was doing was making a commentary about the controversy over the Washington Redskins’ team name, and to make his point it was very important to him that he actually say other offensive terms on the air, for demonstration purposes. For some reason, his socialist employers at Chicago station WIND-AM didn’t understand the simple logic of this, and yanked him off the air.

Happily for the world, he live-tweeted his unfolding beatdown by the forces of oppression.

See? He was making a serious point with that thoughtful comparison: “Redskins” is not actually offensive, so shut up you dumb Injuns and go back to drinking your firewater, HAW HAW. Free speach is dead in this country. It has been staked to an anthill and scalped, is what has happened.

We’d just like to take a moment to salute Joe Walsh, censorship victim, for his brave willingness to demonstrate the hypocrisy of political correctness — after all, doesn’t everyone know that all possible insults are exactly equal in their offensiveness, and that “Bible Thumper” and “Nigger” are completely the same, because they’re both disparaging? It is truly a sad day for the 1st Amendment. We’ll let you know whether Mr. Walsh is ever released from the gulag.

* Free Speach is different from free speech; the most basic principle of Free Speach is that you can say whatever you like with no consequences, because AMERICA.

[TPM / RawStory]

If you don’t follow Doktor Zoom on Twitter, you’re a racist.

CNN's George Howell talks to Chicagoans who "sound off" on the Trump Tower's new sign.

Thick, homemade corn tortillas stuffed with melted cheese and refried beans are topped with a quick cabbage slaw. [Photographs: Lauren Rothman]

After covering both Mexican gorditas and sopes, we've come to the third and final installment in our series on how to make great street food with homemade masa dough. Today, we'll talking about Salvadoran pupusas, thick homemade tortillas stuffed with with a variety of fillings and then cooked on a hot griddle. Pupusas have a lot in common with their kissing cousin, the gordita, but the former have the advantage of being stuffed before they're cooked, ensuring that the cheese you'll inevitably want to fold inside will become melted and gooey and pretty much irresistible.

As we discussed in previous installments, homemade masa dough is a breeze to make, coming together in just minutes once you've picked up a bag of widely-available masa harina: just add the masa flour, salt, fat, and baking powder, knead briefly, and you're ready to go. Forming the pupusas is the more labor-intensive part: after rolling out golfball-sized orbs, you use you thumb to press an indentation into the pliable dough, then work it with your fingers to create a small "bowl"—if you've ever taken a ceramics class, you know exactly what I mean.

Once you have that little bowl, it's ready to be filled with all kinds of delectable stuffings. Then it's pinched together, rolled back into a ball, and carefully flattened out, yielding a delicious, stuffed pancake-like situation. To keep things simple, our recipe calls for a layer of Daniel's Perfect Refried Beans, followed by a layer of shredded Oaxacan cheese. Both of these fillings are extremely easy to put together, and because they're not too runny or wet, you won't run the risk of them bursting through as you form and griddle the pupusas. Plus, if you make the beans the day ahead—a good idea anyway since they need to be at room temperature before you proceed with the recipe—you can get the pupusas on the table in about 45 minutes. The finished, piping-hot pupusas get topped with a briny, refreshing cabbage slaw and a dash of hot sauce.

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HARRISBURG, PA—While checking his phone shortly after arriving at work today, local man Scott Teresi was reportedly gripped by a sudden sense of abject terror upon noticing he had missed a call from his father at 9:09 a.m.

While it’s no news to anyone who has eyes in their head that fast food reality barely ever lives up to those glistening tomatoes, perky lettuce and perfectly chargrilled patties in the ads, what if you simply asked for your food to be remade in its commercial image? Either you’d get a lot of laughing in your face, or heck, maybe you could convince someone to try a little bit harder just for you.

In the below video, one man makes it his mission (with a hidden camera, natch, because the only way to know if someone really wants to do something for you is to keep the unaware that they’re being filmed either way) to see if fast food workers will redo his order to match up more closely with web ads for each item.

Of course, most of his orders are sadly lacking in prettiness, but he does manage to convince some kindhearted employees to redo his food with some more inspiring success.

Though we can’t imagine all restaurants requiring workers to keep with this level of advertised perfection, it does beg the question — Why are we all so used to the fact that often, we’re not getting what companies are selling? I don’t have an answer, it just makes me kind of sad.

Anyway, while we can all probably expect unpretty food, it never hurts to ask. As one worker laughs, “I’ve never heard that before.”

You might fancy yourself as a coffee snob, choosing to only drink from the finest Starbucks K-Cups. However, Wes Johansen is a bona fide coffee expert, having participated in the National Barista Competition.

So, when asked by BuzzFeed Video to taste and rate the type of coffee usually reserved for dead palates, i.e. Folgers, McCafe, 7-11, etc., the results are what you might expect. Please enjoy…

[link]

A major newspaper has kicked George Will to the curb over a recent column wherein the venerable conservative opinionator claimed that being a rape victim is a "coveted status" that comes with "privileges."

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Oprah’s favorite alternative medicine mouthpiece Dr. Oz got little love during Tuesday’s Senate subcommittee hearing on the misleading marketing of diet products, with the TV personality admitting that his use of terms like “miracle” for unproven treatments had provided fodder to scammers out to make a quick buck off people desperate to shed pounds. Last night, the Doc went on Facebook to give his fans his perspective on the issue.

“For years I felt that because I did not sell any products that I could be enthusiastic in my coverage,” wrote Doc Oz, who was chastised — most notably by Missouri Senator Clair McCaskill — for shows where he called certain weight-loss products “the number one miracle in a bottle” or “the magic weight-loss solution for every body type,” in spite of little to no peer-reviewed scientific evidence to back up such claims.

“I believe the research surrounding the products I cover has value,” writes Oz, without naming any particular studies. “I took part in the hearing because I am accountable for my role in the proliferation of these scams and I recognize that my enthusiastic language has made the problem worse at times.”

As he stated during the hearing, Dr. Oz defended his choice to air programs about these unproven products by saying that the discussion is going to happen anyway so it should happen on his show.

“To not have the conversation about supplements at all, however, would be a disservice to the viewer,” he explains. “In addition to exercising an abundance of caution in discussing promising research and products in the future, I look forward to working with all those present yesterday in finding a way to deal with the problems of weight loss scams.”

The problem isn’t that Oz mentions these alternative treatments on his show. It’s that he’s often talked about such products with minimal questioning, and those caveats tend to only come later in the segment after he’s finished talking up a treatment’s purported benefits.

Back when I was a vegetarian, it was not uncommon for people to speculate openly about my excessive self-regard. “You think you're better than me, don't you?” meat-eaters would sometimes ask. “That's a complicated question,” I would answer. “I know that I make better dietary choices than you. Let's just leave it at that.”

With the millions of Twitter feeds, Facebook profiles, and various other websites, it can be hard for government organizations to know if the people they are spying upon are making them LOL or LMFAO. Luckily the FBI has gone to great lengths (and spending millions of dollars) to track all of these various uses of acronyms, 1337 speak, and other Internet slang — compiling their results in an 83 page glossary that is both incredibly expansive and woefully outdated. The glossary’s existence has become public knowledge thanks to a Freedom Of Information Act request by the group Muckrock, and has since become the subject of much ridicule. The guide was compiled to help agents better understand terms used in “instant messages, Facebook and Myspace” — with that last reference showing the glossary’s antiquated nature and reminding everyone of their old, abandoned friend Tom. Many of the terms have only been ...

Oh, remember the Situation? He's still a person! And as fascinating as ever: Today he was arrested for fisticuffing with his brother in the tanning salon they own together. OOH, TELL ME MORE.

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Since he started appearing on pal Oprah Winfrey’s show a decade ago, and especially since he launched his own inexplicably popular daytime talk show in 2009, Dr. Mehmet Oz has had a history of being a bit overly enthusiastic about some of the alternative and nontraditional treatments he’s highlighted, resulting in countless scammers cashing in on the questionable weight-loss treatments he’s described as “miracles,” like the green coffee extract that is the subject of an ongoing federal action. This morning, Dr. Oz is appearing before a Senate subcommittee and admitting that his “cheerleading” for products that he admits are just “crutches” has caused trouble for himself and for the Federal Trade Commission.

Missouri Senator Clair McCaskill, Chair of the Senate Committee on Commerce, Science, and Transportation’s Subcommittee on Consumer Protection, went straight for Dr. Oz’s jugular in her opening remarks on this morning’s hearing about the false and deceptive advertising of weight-loss products.

“When you feature a product on your show, it creates what has become known as ‘Oz Effect,’ dramatically boosting sales and driving scam artists to pop up overnight using false and deceptive ads to sell questionable products,” the Senator explained. “I’m concerned that you are melding medical advice, news and entertainment in a way that harms consumers.”

In his prepared opening comments, Dr. Oz says that even though he never mentions specific products or tells his millions of viewers what to buy, unscrupulous scammers use his words and likeness to peddle their often questionable products.

“It’s a problem I have spent immeasurable time, effort, resources and money to combat,” said the doctor. “I’m chagrined to say the problem has only increased exponentially… I am forced to depend my reputation every single day.”

Dr. Oz openly admitted that the weight-loss treatments he mentions on the show are frequently “crutches… You won’t get there without diet and exercise,” and that while he believes in the research he’s done, the research done on these treatments would probably not pass FDA muster.

“If the only message I gave was to eat less and move more — which is the most important thing people need to do — we wouldn’t be very effectively tackling this complex challenge because viewers know these tips and they still struggle,” said the doctor. “So we search for tools and crutches; short-term supports so that people can jumpstart their programs.”

Sen. McCaskill quoted three statements that the great and doctorful Oz had made about different weight-loss treatments on his show:

•(On green coffee extract) — “You may think magic is make-believe, but this little bean has scientists saying they found the magic weight-loss for every body type.”

•(On raspberry ketone) — “I’ve got the number one miracle in a bottle to burn your fat” (raspberry ketone)

•(On garcinia cambogia) — “It may be the simple solution you’ve been looking for to bust your body fat for good.”

“I don’t get why you say this stuff, because you know it’s not true,” said McCaskill. “So why, when you have this amazing megaphone, and this amazing ability to communicate, why would you cheapen your show by saying things like that?”

Oz took great issue with the Senator’s assertion that he doesn’t believe in the treatments he endorses.

“I don’t think this ought to be a referendum on the use of alternative medical therapies,” said the doctor. “I’ve been criticized for having people coming on my show to talk about the power of prayer. As a practitioner, I can’t prove that prayer helps people survive an illness.”

Countered McCaskill, “It’s hard to buy prayer… prayer’s free.”

“I do personally believe in the items that I talk about on the show,” responded Dr. Oz, who acknowledged that statements he’s made in the past have encouraged scam artists and others looking to make a quick buck on people looking for an easy way to lose weight.

“I do think I’ve made it more difficult for the FTC,” he continued. “In the intent to engage viewers, I use flowery language. I used language that was very passionate that ended up being not very helpful but incendiary and it provided fodder for unscrupulous advertisers.”

The doctor says his show has curbed the use of such language in recent years. He also says there are products that he believes in but that he’s yet to discuss on the show, “because I know what will happen.”

But the Senator wasn’t going to let him off the hook.

“The scientific community is almost monolithic against you in terms of the efficacy of the three products that you called miracles,” she told the doctor. “And when you call a product a miracle and it’s something that you can buy and it’s something that gives people false hope, I just don’t understand why you need to go there.”

McCaskill pointed to the FTC’s “Gut Check” list of seven warning signs that a weight-loss product is likely going to only make your wallet lighter.

She urged Dr. Oz to, instead of dumping half-researched “miracles” on viewers looking for quick answers, he instead educate his audience about the items on that list — “that there isn’t magic in a bottle, that there isn’t a magic pill, that there isn’t some kind of magic root or acai berry or raspberry ketone that is going to all of a sudden make it not matter that you’re not moving an eating a lot of sugar and carbohydrates.”

In response, the doctor said he tells his audience that information all the time.

“Then why would you say that something is a miracle in a bottle?” asked the Senator.

“My job, I feel, on the show is to be a cheerleader for the audience and when they don’t think they have hope, when they don’t think they can make it happen, I wanna look — and I do look — everywhere… for any evidence that might be supportive to them,” explained Oz, who believes that products like green coffee extract jumpstart someone’s weight loss program and “gives you the confidence to keep going, and then you start to follow the things that we talk about every single day — including those seven items [on the FTC Gut Check list].”

Throughout his testimony, Dr. Oz repeatedly reminded the subcommittee that he has to do constant damage reputation — along with taking legal action against some scammers — because of the people who abuse his enthusiastic statements for their own ends. However, the Senator was not exactly moved to tears.

“I know you feel that you’re a victim, but sometimes conduct invites being a victim,” concluded McCaskill. “I think that if you would be more careful, maybe you wouldn’t be victimized quite as frequently.”

A recipe this good shouldn't be this easy. [Photographs: Yasmin Fahr]

Whoever first thought of cracking an egg into the center of a halved avocado and baking it is a genius in my book. This recipe, which features the egg-avocado creation set atop naan bread with feta and mint, is one of the most simple I've ever created for Serious Eats, and it may just be one of my favorites, too.

I love avocados in just about every form (except when fried—I just don't get the appeal). And putting an egg with a runny yolk on top of anything, no matter how clichéd the trick may be, is one of the best ways to create an instantly indulgent, perfectly textured sauce. It practically goes without saying that the two make for one happy marriage.

In most of the baked avocado recipes that I've seen, they're left in the skin and served that way. This makes it a bit of a nuisance to eat, since you have to either scoop out the egg and avocado flesh and then attempt to spread it on toast, or you have to hold it in your hands as you try to eat it out of the skin. If you're anything like me, that means you're pretty much guaranteed to be covered in egg yolk and avocado by the time you're done. To solve this particular challenge, I decided to scoop the avocado out of the skin before setting the egg in it and baking. That way, you can serve the whole thing directly on the naan and cut right into it; anything that spills out is immediately soaked up by the bread beneath.

The recipe itself is straightforward: First, the naan is lightly oiled on both sides and arranged on a baking sheet. Then the avocado halves are set on top and drizzled with oil, cumin, chili flakes, and pepitas. Finally, the eggs are slipped into the avocado halves and the whole thing is baked until the whites are just set and the yolks still runny (kind of like eggs en cocotte, with the avocado acting as the small cooking vessel)

There are a few tips to remember to ensure that this simple recipe remains, well, simple. First, there are very few occasions when you want an avocado that's still a little bit firm, but this is one of them, since the avocado will soften as it bakes. Second, when arranging the avocados on the naan, be careful to keep them level, because uneven ones may allow the eggs to slip out, leading to shouts of "Man down! Man down," which may have happened once in my kitchen...

Lastly, keep in mind that all avocados are not created equal, some with larger pits and some with smaller ones. To avoid the egg overflowing from a too-shallow pit hole, use a spoon to scoop out a little bit of the flesh to create a deeper recess. You don't have to retain every last drop of white (any white that spills over will set on the bread, so there's no need to worry about that), but you do want to make sure that the yolk stays put.

For a recipe with almost no prep work that comes together in less than 20 minutes, this is one that I will be making over and over again.

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Jimmy Kimmel infused his “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets” gag with some NBA flavor on Sunday night, giving players not involved in the NBA Finals a chance to shine one last time before the offseason. Stars including Paul George, Dwight Howard, Steph Curry, Boogie Cousins, and the unstoppable comedy force that is Dikembe Mutombo all read the worst things being said about them on the internet.

The burns aren’t as hot — and the reactions aren’t nearly as entertaining — as your typical celebrity version. (And of course ABC had to shoehorn Jalen Rose and Bill Simmons into the segment.) But then again, we may never see anyone top Sofia Vergara’s spicy hot comeback from last month.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Filed under: Sports, TV, Uncategorized Tagged: CELEBRITIES READ MEAN TWEETS, jimmy kimmel, jimmy kimmel live, MEAN TWEETS, NBA

Paleontologists are excavating an ancient stegomastodon skull in New Mexico after a bachelor party stumbled upon it.

Before last week, I'd never met a doomsday prepper in person. My entire knowledge of them was culled from stuff like Tremors, Louis Theroux documentaries, and that one show on National Geographic on which the guy cried.

I'd learned that preppers are, without exception, a bunch of fat racists playing with guns in the woods and throwing money down the drain to buy underground shelters and dehydrated foods to survive an event that's never going to happen. Also, probably, they have at some point posted in the same internet forums as someone who went on to be a spree killer.

Last weekend, I attended the Arizona Survivalist/Prepper Expo in Prescott Valley, Arizona—an event featuring more than 75 vendors selling everything to get you "prepared and ready for any natural, man-made, or economic disaster."

Entry was $10, which also got me a pocket-size copy of the Constitution of the United States for me to keep on my person at all times.

Stalls sold pretty much everything you'd expect to need to survive any kind of apocalypse scenario. Everything from live rabbits ("the other other white meat") to women's jewelry that doubles up as firelighters. Other stalls sold things that I'm not totally sure would be neccesary in a survival situation—like accupuncture needles and ear plugs—but people seemed interested in them nonetheless.

As I went from stall to stall, I asked people what they thought was going to happen in the future that might lead to them requiring all this stuff.

People were, without exception, very defensive when I asked them this. 

I suppose for anyone that belongs to a group that is universally LOL'd at, being defensive becomes a way of life. They were very keen to point out that they were buying this shit because it's best to be prepared, not because they think the world is going to end next week.

What they felt they needed to prepare for varied. People told me they were worried about socialism, about terrorists, about earthquakes and hurricanes, about Obama taking away their guns. The only common factor was a strong desire to point out to me that they weren't insane.

It was while I was chatting to two men who run an emergency broadcasting network that I got to thinking about how massively unprepared I am to deal with a crisis.

They began to ask me questions about what I would do in an emergency. "And I don't mean the apocalypse," one of the men said. "We deal with personal disasters every day. What would you do in an earthquake? What would you do if you lost your job? What would you do if your house burned down?"

Like most people, when I'm watching The Walking Dead or playing Fallout I like to imagine I'd fare pretty well in an apocalypse scenario. This is, however, quite obviously bullshit.

In my apartment, I have maybe, like, three things that would come in handy in a survival situation: a box of Cliff Bars, a promotional Nalgene bottle, and a knife that I bought because it looks cool. I also live in a major city. If something big were to go down, it would take about 20 minutes for me to get robbed to death. 

Even at the lower end of disasters, like getting fired or my apartment flooding, I would be fucked. I could last maybe a week on my box of Cliff Bars, but then I would have no choice but to go find somewhere to quietly die. 

Like you, I have been pampered and privileged by the modern world. And it's not like it's completely out of the question that I will be in a survival situation some day.

America is a scary place, one that's always doing something to try to kill its inhabitants. There are earthquakes and hurricanes and mass shootings and mudslides and SWAT raids over weed. On my daily drive to work, I pass tsunami warning signs and buildings that had to be rebuilt after the 1994 Northridge earthquake. That's not to say that I'm 100 percent sure I will one day be in some sort of post-apocalyptic Mad Max survival battle, but I doubt the residents of the Ninth Ward ever seriously thought they might one day have to swim out of their attic windows, either.

Briefly, I toyed with the idea of becoming more prepared, which wouldn't be easy. Surviving disasters that might not ever happen is expensive business. As the threat could come from anything from ice storms to wildfires, there's a lot to stock up on. A basic survival pack costs $300. Modifying your windows to become unbreakable costs $100 per window. Body armor is $195. A non-electrical flashlight is $20. Etc., etc., etc.

I got talking to a woman who was working at a stall selling water purifiers and camping stoves, and I asked her if she thought she was going to require any of the stuff she was selling in her lifetime. She told me, "I don't know. But If there was an apocalypse, I'd be running for the flash. I don't wanna be a cockroach."

And she has a point. Why would you want to survive the apocalypse?

Even though there was everything you could possibly need to make it after the world ends (up to and including DIY gunshot-treatment kits, Hello Kitty–branded knives, and a terrifying-looking concoction called "Worm Wine,"), there was not one single form of post-apocalyptic entertainment on sale. No card games, no books, no portable DVD players. Nothing. 

I don't know what to do with myself in the ten minutes I don't have a cell phone signal on the subway. I once hiked ten miles to get to a Wi-Fi signal. I can't imagine spending the rest of my life solely surviving, living in an underground box, with nothing to do but stare at the wall and shit in bags to save as fertilizer.

And I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who is too pampered by the modern world for survival to be an appealing option. I counted four people at the expo rolling around on Rascal scooters. I can't imagine all the guns and solar panels in the world are gonna save you in a The Road–type situation if you need a scooter to get you around an air-conditioned expo hall.

I intend to get just as much as I need to survive a small-scale disaster, but not enough to survive the apocalypse. Fuck surviving the apocalypse. Maybe I'll buy a couple of extra boxes of Cliff Bars, IDK.

Follow Jamie Lee Curtis Taete on Twitter.

As the clock ticks over to 12:11am (EDT) tonight, the world will experience the first full honey moon on Friday the 13th in almost 100 years. It will appear golden and huge in the sky, so pay attention because it will not happen again until June 2098.http://sploid.gizmodo.com/oh-my-god-chec...

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Just days after the Food and Drug Administration announced a ban on wooden boards for ageing cheese, they've completely reversed their stance.

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Your first question is likely "Does she do Red?" And I say to you, YES! Yes she does. Her Taystee's pretty great, too.

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The World Cup kicks off (GET IT?) next week. In preparation, this pup has been practicing all her slickest soccer moves.

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It seems that everywhere I look these days, I see a rabbit. That's because I spend a lot of time working from home and my pet bunny enjoys nothing more than sitting next to my bed and eating her own poop while staring me directly in the eye, but also because buns are trending cosmically. (Or, like, they're having a good few months, at least.)

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 “HOLA LOVERS.” “This is Wax Lopez. Do you want to go see it? You must. And lovers, I believe in you, but I also believe in accidents. How many of us, lovers, have been walking around so innocent and then BOOM we drop a cup of gasoline and then sneeze flames at it? I cannot Read More ...