Shared posts

29 Mar 13:34

Guy Evades Speeding Ticket With Fart Spray

So, apparently this guy was in a hurry to get someplace special, and ended up getting caught up with a speeding ticket. He proceeded to try out a fart spray that he'd been gifted. The rest is history, and really one for the books. 

1.

Text - JJ @FiretheGm Soooo, I got pulled over this morning after leaving McDonald's.l already knew why he got me (speeding) but of course, I was gonna ask him why he stopped me. I decided to try my luck. I got fart spray as a gag gift on xmas and decided to try it out.

2.

Text - JJ @FiretheGm The bottle says to squirt about 2 sprays. So as the cop walks toward my car, I sprayed about 7 squirts. He stopped dead in his tracks and said, Omfg, what the fuck is that?!! | said I got a situation going on sir! The look on his face was priceless. I said,

3.

Text - JJ @FiretheGm Sir my stomach hurts and I'm trying get home because I...he is at my window and I didn't even finish my sentence...He grabs his face, backs up and says...Oh SHIT!!! I think you need an ambulance!!! I said no (trying not to laugh...he looked worried and sick <>

4.

Text - JJ @FiretheGm Officer: BE CAREFUL AND TRY NOT TO SPEED BUT I UNDERSTAND IT'S AWFUL! HOLD ON...I'LL ESCORT YOU! GOD DAMN!!!

5.

Text - JJ @FiretheGm I did not expect it to go this way, but the Officer followed me back to my house, & waited till I got out my car (he stayed in his). I had to walk all the way to the door, holding my ass cheeks together, and limpin' like I was hurtin'! No ticket written!

Submitted by:

05 Jun 09:36

10% Cat, 90% Paws, 150% Floof

Cheezburger Image 9314082048

Submitted by: (via saharadesert)

25 Jun 20:31

This Cat Totally Looks Like Japanese Lucky Cat

11 Nov 17:18

Happy Halloween!

11 Nov 17:18

Slow Down There

15 Aug 12:21

Distract Them With Shoes

shoes fart jokes classy funny - 7604755200

Submitted by: Unknown

Tagged: shoes , fart jokes , classy , funny
09 Aug 13:14

What's Your Cat's Petting Style?

Tizbanana

cute :-)

Cats have their own set of rules for petting, but there are also those feline friends who are pure petting partiers. Do you know your cat's petting style?

Submitted by: (via Cat Lessons)

Tagged: petting , meow , Cats , Video
09 Aug 13:09

legendary photobomb

Cheezburger Image 8816885760

Submitted by: (via marvintheman)

23 Mar 13:55

Every Wedding Needs a Kitten

cat photobomb kitten wedding funny

Submitted by: (via burkinator325)

Tagged: cat , photobomb , kitten , wedding , funny
16 Mar 11:41

Do Bay Leaves Even Do Anything?

by Claire Lower on Skillet, shared by Andy Orin to Lifehacker

Bay leaves are the dryer sheets of the kitchen. I know that they do something, I’m just not entirely sure what it is, and I don’t really miss them when I run out. Yet I keep buying them, because this what humans that cook do. They buy bay leaves and put them in things.

Read more...

16 Mar 11:36

Dad's Can Ruin Anything With a Joke

16 Mar 11:24

Amtrak Train Collides With Wall of Snow, Instantly Powder-Packing Nearby Commuters

And here I thought it was particularly shitty waiting for the bus this morning. 

Submitted by: (via Nick Colvin)

Tagged: amtrak , slow motion , snow , Video
16 Mar 11:22

Nordstrom's Will Make Shoppers Weak in the Knees With These Stupid New Jeans

Tizbanana

WTAF!?!?!

fashion,shopping

Everyone wears shorts for the same reason, and it's not to stay cool in the summer months. We all just want to show off the most erotic and sexy part of the human anatomy: The knees. 

We all want to show off those knees, which is why rollerblading with kneepads is such a pain the ass. How are we supposed to find a suitable mate if they can't see our knees. 

Thankfully, Nordstrom's stores has heard our cries for more knees. They're selling a new pair of stupid jeans that have plastic windows that show off the joint between your shins and thighs. 

via GIPHY

People are steaming up for these things. Check it out:

Submitted by:

Tagged: fashion , shopping
07 Mar 12:29

Baby Squirrel Plays in Snow for the First Time

Submitted by: (via Billalm56)

Tagged: gifs , snow , squirrel
07 Mar 12:29

Human, You Are Mine Meow

Cats,mine

LoL by: (via upvoteseverytime)

Tagged: Cats , mine
07 Mar 12:22

The Deadpool Sequel Trailer Leaked and It Just Exceeded Expectations

07 Mar 12:18

This Pizza Place Trolls the Shit Out of Customer Who Orders Pineapple on Pizza

pizza,pineapple

We've reached peak pineapple pizza. 

On March 4, Twitter user @Try2ShootUsDown tweeted that she tried to order pineapple on pizza, and the pizza place refused in the best way possible. 

Now, this is probably fake. What kind of self-respecting pizza place puts something on their menu only to shame the customer. That's a Papa John's move, and Papa John's is the worst.

Either way, people are loving this who thing because they hate pineapple on pizza, even though the mix of sweet and savory rules. Like have you ever tried pineapple-jalapeno pizza? It's bomb as hell. What do you think about all this?

Submitted by:

Tagged: pizza , pineapple
01 Mar 21:52

This Amazing Jellyfish Might Actually Be a UFO

Submitted by: (via oceanexplorergov)

Tagged: cute , science , jellyfish , Video
20 Feb 21:24

If You Wave at This Courteous Lizard He Waves Back

Submitted by: (via thehypnoguy1)

Tagged: hello , lizard , funny , Video
17 Jan 15:47

Pardon Me

17 Jan 12:15

When You See It: My Lovely Flowers

animal,Animal Bomb,cat,flowers,when you see it

Submitted by: Unknown

17 Jan 12:13

This T-Rex Snowball Fight Will Have You Rethinking Your Next Snow Day

Perhaps it's their experience in the ice age, but these two dinosaurs know how to have a snowball fight. 

Either that or two people in those weird, full-body T-Rex costumes know how to have a snowball fight: You wear those weird, full-body T-Rex costumes.

This video is everything the internet should be and more. 

Submitted by: (via Nicole Fullmer)

17 Jan 11:05

Clean Burnt Residue Off of Pans With Baking Soda

by Claire Lower

Burnt, stuck-on food may seem like a dishwasher’s worst nightmare but, with the help of baking soda, it can be removed super easily without any scrubbing at all.

Read more...

05 Jan 14:14

A Breath of Fresh Air

23 Dec 14:02

Kitten Refuses to Let Go of a Warm Lamp Even Though She Can't Stay Awake

"I can has a warm?"

Submitted by: (via Storyful News)

Tagged: lamp , kitten , Cats , sleeping , Video , warm
05 Nov 14:11

Crazy Eyes Activated

eyes,Cats

Submitted by: (via istes)

Tagged: eyes , Cats
05 Nov 14:06

You Are Doing it Very Wrong

05 Nov 14:06

Toddler Tail

07 Jun 21:13

Husky Loves to Blow Bubbles in Her Water Bowl

Submitted by: (via Kent Duryee)

Tagged: dogs , husky , bubbles , Video , omg
06 Mar 14:12

Just Pawering Up Before a Midnight Run Through the House

cat touches plasma ball

Submitted by: (via bobileo)

Tagged: Cats , electricity