Steve Dyer

A video segment from Democracy Now shows deeply disturbing images of Iraqi newborns with extreme birth defects reportedly traced to the use of depleted uranium in weaponry deployed by the US military. According to investigative journalist Dahr Jamail:

Dr. Samira Alani actually visited with doctors in Japan, comparing statistics, and found that the amount of congenital malformations in Fallujah is 14 times greater than the same rate measured in the cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in Japan in the aftermath of the nuclear bombings. These types of birth defects, she said—there are types of congenital malformations that she said they don’t even have medical terms for, that some of the things they’re seeing, they’ve never seen before. They’re not in any of the books or any of the scientific literature that they have access to. She said it’s common now in Fallujah for newborns to come out with massive multiple systemic defects, immune problems, massive central nervous system problems, massive heart problems, skeletal disorders, baby’s being born with two heads, babies being born with half of their internal organs outside of their bodies, cyclops babies literally with one eye—really, really, really horrific nightmarish types of birth defects. And it is ongoing.

itsbeautifulthesymbiosis:

Uwe Schramm

Politico asked anti-equality lawmakers if their views had changed on same-sex marriage given the shift in popular opinion and their colleague Rob Portman's announcement last week that he supports marriage equality.

Said Senator Saxby Chambliss: “I’m not gay. So I’m not going to marry one.”

Nobody else seems to be shifting either:

“I’m still not supportive of it,” said Sen. Mark Pryor (D-Ark.), who is up for reelection in 2014, adding he still backs the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act that the Supreme Court is reviewing.

“I’m with South Carolina,” said GOP Sen. Lindsey Graham, who also faces voters next year. “I believe in traditional marriage — between a man and a woman, without animosity. I don’t mind if people are able to transfer their property, visit their loved ones in hospitals, but marriage to me, I’ve stayed with the concept of traditional marriage.”

Well, maybe one of them:

Missouri Sen. Claire McCaskill, a moderate Democrat from a red state who just won reelection last year, suggested in an interview that her views are evolving even if she doesn’t yet back gay marriage.

“I think there’s a lot of shift going on in the country, and I’m thinking about it,” said McCaskill, who called Portman’s announcement “courageous.”

To celebrate St. Patrick's Day, the President and First Lady hosted Irish Prime Minister Enda Kenny and his wife Fionnuala O'Kelly for a reception at the White House. For the occasion, Mrs. O chose an apropos green sheath dress paired with a single strand of pearls.

A pink horse rests ahead of its appearance in a cavalry event in honour of the Prince of Wales and Duchess’s of Cornwall’s visit on the eighth day of a tour of the Middle East in Muscat, Oman on March 18, 2013. The Royal couple are on the fourth and final leg of a tour, taking in Jordan, Qatar, Saudia Arabia and Oman. By Chris Jackson/Getty Images.

I hope you had a Happy Saint Patrick's Day, if you believe in that sort of thing, and I hope you are not ill from too much alcohol, the official drug of choice of Saint Patrick's Day. I don't judge, I mean, I like to drink and drunk, and if you want to get loaded because it's Saint Patrick's Day, or Tuesday, go for it. I just know what it feels like Later, after too much alcohol, so I'm just saying, I hope you feel OK today and that your liver is not trying to leave your body because you were trying to kill it with fun.

Soon, in The Future, you won't have to worry about your liver, because we will have Cloning, and we'll be able to grow you—but no offense, more importantly, me—a shiny new liver, based on a liver from when you were a young baby, before you were able to do things to make your liver sad. That will be something, eh? We'll be able to do way more of the things that kill us (i.e., way more Fun things like drinking alcohol), and then when our liver is like, "OK, I'm out, you tried to kill me? Well, now I will totally kill you," with a little minor surgery, we can switch it, probably not even at a Hospital like we know them now, more like a Jiffy Lube, where you get the oil and oil filter in your car engine changed into clean ones.

Personally, I understand this is not 100% Natural, this future of plug-and-play organs, and there will be lots of Unforeseen Complications, but eventually we'll get it right so everybody can get a new liver, or at least probably in the beginning so Rich People can get a new liver, but sooner or later, regular-money people will be able to trade in their liver for a new one at Sears or the Price Club or whatever and it won't be any big deal.

I think the goal of Human Beings is to figure out how to Live Forever, even if it's by ways that seem to be unnatural, like buying a new liver. Pretty much everything we Humans have done as a group has been so we can all live longer individually. There are facts and everything about how much longer people live now compared to Days of Old. We did that, Humans! I haven't done jack squat to advance Humans, but I'm in the group so I'm gonna enjoy the ride, and if I need one, I will totally take advantage of a Cloned liver if I can, if Science is fast enough to get this Cloning stuff going before I croak.

In other Organ News, did you hear about the unfortunate person in Maryland who died because because they had rabies? Yeah, and they didn't get it from a bat or a dog or whatever; they got it from a kidney. An organ-donated kidney-organ that got transplanted into them, and it turns out the previous owner of the kidney had rabies but nobody knew. How much does that suck ? The warehouse or whatever where they got the kidney didn't test it for rabies because it's pretty rare, but still, are you kidding me? If that was me, dying from a rabid kidney, I would be mad at the Pope (and it doesn't matter which one, they're all the same), because guys like him are slowing down the work of the Scientists who will provide me and you with our brand-new liver, or lung, or heart, so we can live forever, like God, and that's the whole problem with these Popes, they don't want people to think they are better than God, and who can blame 'em? Look how excited errbody got with this new smoking out the Pope thing? And now this guy is gonna re-affirm all the regular Pope stuff about how controlling the population is bad and how Cloning is bad, and Stem Cell, and all that stuff, and that's just The Man keeping you down, so don't fall for it. Anyway. Popes just slow things down. Nobody's gonna stop this cloning stuff, so you might as well get behind it for some of the benefits before the Army starts making Clone/Drone flying insects or whatever.

The thing I'm really looking forward to getting Cloned are some eyeballs. I have to wear glasses and I can't stand it, if there's the slightest bit of dirt or a smudge on my glasses, I need to wipe them, because if I have to look through dirty glass it makes me crazy, like there's a dirty film over my eyeballs. And if I don't have the proper non-scratchy cloth to wipewipewipe my glasses with I feel guilty wiping them with my shirt because the lady at the glasses place told me not to do that because it scratches the lenses. Meanwhile, it's like, sometimes for no reason all of a sudden I realize my eyeballs are trapped behind glass and I get claustrophobia of the eye. And when I go to the movies I have to put the stupid 3-D glasses on top of my regular glasses and then all I can think about is how many levels or glass and plastic are between my eyes and Freedom. I can't take it. I want new eyeballs, man, I used to have great vision, but looking at computers has turned my eyes into things that are only good for looking at computers. It's forced Evolution, almost. And you know once they get this figured out, some Pope will totally get in on it for a new liver or whatever and thank God. I would also take a new brain if they can figure that out, because mine is full. I haven't completely thought out the brain thing, cloning-wise, but I think maybe it would be an add-on and they could put it where my appendix was.

Previously: Don't Trust Anyone To Tell You What Time It Is


Mr. Wrong can converse with you via many medias. Photo of liver by Sebastian Kaulitzki, via Shutterstock.

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A far less cynical take than today’s dissenter:

It was a miracle I was with my mom Friday. She’s here in NYC visiting me for the weekend from Cleveland, when the news about Rob Portman came through. My mother had the only response an Ohio mother of a gay son could possible have: “Holy shit.” We were in such shock we had to rewind the DVR and make sure we heard it right.

My mother is a proud Ohio Democrat and phone-banked many times for the reelection of Senator Sherrod Brown this past election. We both disagree with Mr. Portman’s views on a majority of the issues – except for one (as of this morning).   Hearing those words come out of his mouth was astounding. Not because of what it meant about Portman, but because of the change it represented for Ohio.

I still remember my mother calling me the morning after election day 2004 in tears.  Not because George W. Bush had been re-elected for another term (well, maybe a little bit) but because Ohio had passed a constitutional ban on same-sex couples getting married.

It was devastating to her.  Almost like a personal rejection of her son.  She kept apologizing to me, as if it was her responsibility to reach every household in Ohio and tell them that her son was a good person. If they just got to know him they would see that he should have the same rights.  It was heartbreaking to hear this. Suddenly I felt like the parent and tried to console her by promising that things will change and that we have to keep fighting.

That’s why watching a Republican from Ohio support marriage while sitting next to my mother was so meaningful and thrilling.  Who would have thought that in less than nine years, our Ohio would have two senators (yes both!) supporting marriage quality?!

Some don’t want to celebrate this news. I understand the reservations about Portman receiving any accolades.  He shouldn’t.  This didn’t happen because of political courage. Politicians move with the polls and rarely act with courage.  I say let’s celebrate the polls!  Celebrate those who have been moving those polls steadily in our favor for decades.  Through its relentless activism, the LGBT movement created a friendly enough environment for a Republican to support marriage equality.  Not to mention a world where a senator’s son could even broach the subject of his homosexuality with his father.

That leads me to the other person who deserves accolades for today. At the age of 19, Will Portman came out to his parents.  We all know it is rarely easy. However, I think Will gets some bonus points for coming out to the dad with the anti-gay voting record who is considered presidential material by a party with anti gay rhetoric all over its platform.  Maybe his coming out was a little harder than some.

More importantly, Will’s example shows that Harvey Milk was right when he said “Gay brothers and sisters … You must come out. Come out… to your parents… I know that it is hard and will hurt them but think about how they will hurt you in the voting booth!”  Those words are especially true when your father’s voting booth is located in the United States Senate chamber.  Will has proved once again that the greatest asset the LGBT community has is that we are in everyone’s family. We just need to make sure they know it.

In 1955, the first commonly prescribed tranquilizer, Miltown, burst onto the American scene, and “within a year, a staggering 1 in 20 Americans were regularly prescribed it”:

[Miltown] was a potent and prescription-only tranquilliser, most often used by women. Among American housewives, it became as fashionable as the latest style of dress or car. It was discussed at dinner parties and written about in lifestyle magazines. Miltown was, from its birth, bound up with ideas of glamour, framed as part of an aspirational lifestyle choice which Hollywood starlets and suburban housewives alike could indulge in. Celebrities promoted its benefits, and bowls of Miltown were even rumoured to be passed around like canapés at Hollywood parties.

Such anecdotes spawned a flurry of Miltown cocktail recipes for star-struck housewives to copy. There was the ‘Militini’, a martini with a pill replacing the olive. Or those more daring drinkers could try a ‘Guided Missile’ – a double vodka and two Miltowns. The jewellers Tiffany’s even produced ruby- and diamond-studded pill-cases, while Cartier advertised a silver charm bracelet with a convenient holder designed for a single Miltown pill. This was a medicine like no other – until it was surpassed by its descendant, Valium. By 1974, an astonishing total of 53.4 million Americans were taking Valium – a quarter of the whole population.

(Image: 1959 Miltown ad via Deco Dog)

what is this sorcery? via

Not the most graceful of God’s creatures:

(Hat tip: StuffStoleFromTheInternet)

It’s relatively tiny:

What percentage of Americans watches cable news for 10 minutes or more per day?  Only about 10-15%, if you simply add up the audiences for Fox News, CNN, and MSNBC.  This is based on calculations by political scientist Markus Prior, drawing on detailed data about what people actually watch and not what they report in a survey. Survey reports of news consumption are often highly inaccurate.

siphersaysstuff:

WHY WAS THIS NOT IN THE FINAL CUT.

Or even the Special Editions. This is GREAT.

Announcing his support for marijuana legalization, Josh Marshall claims, “odd as it may sound, gay marriage probably had as much as anything to do with changing my mind”:

A decade or two ago I didn’t support gay marriage. I was one of those civil union folks. It wasn’t that I had any personal objection to gays marrying as such and certainly no issue with gays in themselves. It just seemed like such an outlandish and politically implausible idea that it wasn’t something I supported.

I would suggest that it’s difficult for people under the age of 35 or 40 to grasp just how differently people saw this issue 15 or 20 years ago. But I’m not trying to make excuses. I think I’m simply of the political breed that what I think and my pragmatic sense of what’s possible are difficult to distinguish, often even in my own mind. This meant that I was against the various referenda trying to ban or preemptively outlaw gay marriage while also not being precisely for it either. Civil unions seemed sufficient to address the concrete issues at stake. What I didn’t grasp at the time was how the stigmatization of the LGBT community itself was at the heart of the issue.

But the rapid — not just rapid but mind-bogglingly rapid — rise in public support for gay marriage has made me realize just how quickly our society is changing (on a number of fronts) and made me think I need to learn to flex my own moral imagination a little aggressively.

I just want to say how grateful I am for Josh’s honesty. Very, very few pro-gay liberals in the 1990s backed marriage equality, including the gay pro-gay liberals. Even my good friend E J Dionne reviewed Virtually Normal positively, except to say that he couldn’t buy the marriage argument, which was the crux of the case. For the first ten years, the idea was resisted by the left; for the next ten years, it was brutally exploited and attacked by the right. But with each assault failing to end the argument, the argument continued. And since we had by far the better one, we slowly persuaded people, including Josh.

When left-liberals proclaim that a majority of Americans are dumb, would never elect a black president, let alone support gay marriage (which was and is the consensus in some smug-suffused cocoons), those of us who still have faith in democracy can point to the marriage equality movement and prove them wrong. We will end Prohibition of marijuana in this country the same way: persistence, persuasion, evidence, and patience.

And other obscure words you probably don’t know:

Relatedly, Carmel Lobello compiled a list of “uncommon or obsolete words that we think may have died early.” For example:

Lunting: Walking while smoking a pipe

Groak: To silently watch someone while they are eating, hoping to be invited to join them

Jirble: To pour out (a liquid) with an unsteady hand: as, he jirbles out a dram

I kid you not. Recall that they covered up the rape of children because of fear of “scandal”. But right in the same building as the Congregation for the Evangelisation of Peoples is the Europa Multiclub – not just any bathhouse, but the alleged Number One in Italy! The Beeb has some fun with a future event:

Also on offer are “bear parties”, which are advertised on its website with a video of a man stripping down before donning clerical attire. Bruno, “a hairy, overweight pastor of souls, is free to the music of his clergyman, remaining in a thong, because he wants to expose body and soul”, the website says.

But they seem a rather responsible joint from this page. And the club’s statement helps unpack why the Vatican would not be that uncomfortable sharing a building (which the Vatican bought for $26 million):

Behind this door an exciting, funny and comfortable world is waiting for you… A place created by males and for males only.

Let the Conclave begin! And after that, we can all go and “evangelize some peoples”.

The new article is “Private traits and attributes are predictable from digital records of human behavior,” by Michal Kosinski, David Stillwell, and Thore Graepel.  Here is the abstract:

We show that easily accessible digital records of behavior, Facebook Likes, can be used to automatically and accurately predict a range of highly sensitive personal attributes including: sexual orientation, ethnicity, religious and political views, personality traits, intelligence, happiness, use of addictive substances, parental separation, age, and gender. The analysis presented is based on a dataset of over 58,000 volunteers who provided their Facebook Likes, detailed demographic profiles, and the results of several psychometric tests. The proposed model uses dimensionality reduction for preprocessing the Likes data, which are then entered into logistic/linear regression to predict individual psychodemographic profiles from Likes. The model correctly discriminates between homosexual and heterosexual men in 88% of cases, African Americans and Caucasian Americans in 95% of cases, and between Democrat and Republican in 85% of cases. For the personality trait “Openness,” prediction accuracy is close to the test–retest accuracy of a standard personality test. We give examples of associations between attributes and Likes and discuss implications for online personalization and privacy.

For the pointer I thank Brandon Robison.

Ryan, my boss, walked into my office with a serious look on his face. I looked up from my monitor as he closed the door behind him. “We need to talk about your behavior!” he said, wagging his finger.

“My behavior?” I was trying to sound calm.

He started laughing. “I’m just kiddin’,” he said. I stretched my face into the most credible smile I could manage. “We’re doing your review tomorrow.” I stopped smiling.

Everybody in my company has a review once a year, around the time of when each employee was hired. Because my department has always been behind on reviews, mine usually happened in May or June (I was hired in early March). Ryan’s been with the company for just over a year now and he’s really diligent about company policy. When he saw my review’s due date approaching at the end of February, he kept reminding me that we needed to schedule a date for it. I kept telling him I’d get to it later because I knew I’d be asking for a raise this year and I wanted time to research similar salaries and prepare a statement that I would present to him during my review. For a couple of weeks, his words were, “We need to schedule your review soon.” On this day, he said, “We’re doing your review tomorrow.”—not, “Can we do your review tomorrow?”—”We’re doing your review tomorrow.” 

I knew I wasn’t going to be able to get out of it, but I tried anyway.

“Can’t we do it next week?” I asked. “I’m still working on January’s reconciliations and I haven’t even had time to do the self-evaluation.”

“Nope.” he said. “I’ve already got Laura and Candace done and I want to get these out of the way.” I was going to have to do all my preparations overnight.

“I’d really rather do it next week.”

“What’s the big deal? All you have to do is the self-eval. It shouldn’t take more than ten minutes.”

“Yeah.” I said, “I have some other stuff I have to do also…” He looked at me like I’d just spoken in another language. “… we’ll talk about it tomorrow.”

“OK! Great!” he said. He opened the door and walked out of my office.

I’m an accountant for a non-profit in Portland (the only Portland that matters). I’ve been with this company for four years. Because I’m one of only two accountants there, I see almost all of the financials, including payroll, which means I know exactly how much everyone makes. I know that my boss makes about 50 percent more than I do, and that his boss makes almost double that. I know that the CEO makes more than anybody, but not that much more than the CFO. I know that the “executive assistant” (secretary for the executives) makes more than me and she’s only been here for two years. I know that my co-worker who spends all day on Facebook but is buddies with all the executives also makes more than me. And I know that the medical billing staff makes peanuts.

This was basically my first job out of college. I was working for an accounting firm for about three months until the owner couldn’t afford to pay us any longer, and then I got this job. It’s pretty low-stress and the benefits are decent, but that also means I have to make sacrifices in my salary. I understand that, and it’s a fair trade. I’d rather make a few dollars less and have some decent vacation time than have to work 80-hour weeks. I had to keep my expectations reasonable. It wasn’t about money. I have all that I need, and if I had any more money, it would just go into savings or I would spend it on clothes. It was about respect—respect for my place within the company and my value to the company.

Also, maybe it had something to do with other parts of my life not working out so well and wanting to make a move so that at least one thing in my life would be going ok. When you lose a lot, it’s easier to risk losing a little more because, really, what difference does it make at this point?

I went home and stayed up late writing my statement. It said that I enjoyed working for the company and getting to know all the great people there over the last few years. Then it went into what kind of a mess all of the accounting department was in when I started in 2009, and how much I’ve contributed to getting everything on track and keeping it there. Then it asked for a 30 percent raise. It said I knew it was a lot, but that I was taking into consideration what other people with my skills and qualifications are making in the area as well as what other people within the organization are making. It thanked my boss for his time and mentioned something about “looking forward to many more years with the company.” Simple enough, but professional and direct, right? I was careful not to use the word “raise” in this letter. I called it a request for a “salary increase.” I guess that was my way of just slipping it in there. (Subliminal messages or something.)

I saved that document and my self-evaluation (pretty boilerplate stuff about what you struggled with during the year, what you achieved, and what you can work on next year—you know the drill) and emailed them to myself so I could print them at work in the morning before my review at 9:30 a.m.

Let’s talk real numbers for a second. At the beginning of this story, I was making $41,616 per year. I’m on salary, so it’s that number divided by 52 weeks and then again by 40 hours and I’m paid at an hourly rate for 40 hours every week. I don’t have to clock in or out or anything, but that’s how it works. I was hired at $35K in 2009. That was more than I had been making at the accounting firm and more than I’d ever made in my whole life, so I didn’t balk when it was offered, and was really just happy I was going to be able to make rent again.

During my first review in 2010, I was offered a raise—without having to ask—to $40K. Then I had the standard 2 percent raise each of the last two years. Everybody gets that 2 percent, unless they really fuck up. I was going to ask for $55K in my review this year. I knew that was a big jump, but I wanted to shoot a little bit high in case of negotiation. I figured if I started at $55K, even if they talked me down, I’d still be getting a pretty decent raise. They always say that when it comes to asking for money, you can’t get what you don’t ask for. That said, even if I were making $55K, I’d still be the lowest-paid employee in my department by almost $10,000.

I arrived at work at my usual time of 9 a.m. and logged in to print out my paperwork from the night before. My Internet was down, and, apparently, it was only my problem. So when Ryan came to my office at 9:35 a.m. to ask me why we weren’t getting started, I was frantically trying to get online and had to try to sound like I wasn’t just making it all up. He let me sign into his computer and print out my papers from there, but I had forgotten to email myself the self-evaluation. I’d only sent the statement asking for a raise. I assured him I’d definitely filled it out and remembered what I’d written down so we could just go through it verbally and he was nice enough about that part. Then we got started.

Ryan said lots of really positive things about how my work is really good and much better than what’s expected from someone my age and with my kind of experience. He said that I needed to work on my communication skills with the other departments (I hate answering my phone and sometimes can’t hide my disdain when the person I’m talking to is dumb—what do you want from me?). “Ok, this is good!” I thought. Then it was my turn.

I handed him my statement and then basically re-told the same story, but without all the professional language in it. Ryan said he agreed that I should be making more but we were in a tight financial spot lately so he’d have to talk to his boss and the CFO before he could give me an answer. Nevermind that both of them are getting paid enough to drive a BMW SUV—we have to look out for my 30 percent.

“Well, why don’t you send me an email with some bullet points that summarize this letter for me?” he asked. “I’ll take that to Jack [the Director of Finance] and see what we can do.”

He wrapped up the review, and I went back to my office and waited.

And here’s where I started getting upset. I understand a fairly substantial raise has to be cleared with management before it can be approved. But I know all of these guys. I work with them. I talk to the CFO and the Director of Finance every single day. For a long time, before Ryan’s position was created, the Director of Finance was my boss. Why did they all have to discuss my future in a room that didn’t have me in it? This is a non-profit after all. Surely, they wouldn’t so easily fall back on the corporate structure.

That was a Friday. Ryan came into my office on Monday and closed the door behind him again (I hate when he does that).

“So I talked to everybody else,” he said. “Jack says you’re not getting 55. And I agree with him. I did some preliminary research [on the same site I'd used] and it looks like other people in the area with your experience are making around 47 or 48. So I’m going to push for that with everyone. We just have to wait to hear an answer from the CFO and HR. It should take about a week.”

“Ok,” I said, smiling. “Let me know how that goes!”

What was I supposed to say? This wasn’t a flea market deal. I couldn’t come back like, “Ehhh, how ‘bout you give me $50K?” It wasn’t an actual answer, anyway. I couldn’t be upset for something that, so far, was just an idea. I decided to wait. Still, I wasn’t getting what I asked for, and I felt stupid for not only thinking I could get $55K but for going far enough to ask for it. Who did I think I was, anyway? So, I mentioned these problems I’d been having with the entire process.

“I don’t know, I just feel… weird about this being decided in a room I don’t get to be in,” I said. “Especially when I know all of the people in that room.”

Ryan looked me directly in the eye. “Well, that’s just how it works.”

A week later, Ryan came to talk to me again. He closed the door.

“Alright, I got with some people at a company I’ve consulted with before and did some research on your position and similar salaries in the area,” he said. “And … you’re right at the median.”

He handed me some papers with graphs that said the same thing.

“I think we need to get you cross training with Laura [the other accountant] and then we’ll be able to revisit your salary,” he said. “But you two will have to work that process out. I’m a little busy with my responsibilities at the moment. K?”

“Ok,” I said. I didn’t smile. Ryan switched into his higher-pitched voice.

“How’s everything else goin’!?”

“Fine. Just fine.”

Look, I understand. This is what some people would call a “first world problem”. Lots of people get denied for a raise every single day, and most of them deserve it much more than I do. Most of them work really hard and don’t comment on blogs all day. And I still have the exact same job I had three weeks ago. But now I have to move. You don’t just tell someone you’re going to shoot and then not shoot. Now I have to start interviewing again and see if I can get a better offer. If I’m lucky, I’ll get a better offer and be able to use that as leverage to get my current employer to actually give me a raise. Or I’ll just have to go work somewhere else. I don’t want to do that, though. Who knows what kind of mess I’d be walking into? The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know.

The whole thing kept bothering me, though. I had this nagging suspicion that I wasn’t fairly represented with the management when Ryan presented my case. I know Jack. He’s always been a nice guy. He’s gotta agree with me that I deserve more money. Ryan couldn’t have fought for me enough. I never liked him anyway.

This past Friday, Ryan was out of the office. I walked into Jack’s office (which is directly across from mine).

“Hey! Do you have a second to talk?” I asked. I closed the door behind me.

“Sure, what’s up!?” he said.

“I just wanted to ask you about my review,” I said. “I’m sure Ryan told you that I asked for a raise. And I just wanted to make sure you agreed with his decision.”

“Ahhhh, what was his decision again?” Jack asked.

“He decided not to give me a raise.”

“Oh, alright. I didn’t know that much,” he said. “Well… I don’t know. I think for your age and level of experience, you’re doing pret-ty well. If we get some more cross-training in ya, I’m sure we can see about getting you some more money. Besides, you know what our financial situation is like. We can’t really afford any raises right now.”

On his desk, between us, were the keys to his X5.

“Alright,” I said. “I just… wanted to make sure everybody is on the same page. Thanks!” I smiled, opened the door, and walked out.

Reginal T. Squirge is a man for all seasons. He has a podcast.