A federal judge sentenced former U.S. intelligence contractor Reality Winner on Thursday to more than five years in prison after she admitted leaking to a media outlet a top secret report on Russian interference in U.S. elections, her attorney said.

If the Cavaliers win in five games, it’s at least partially the fault of this Warriors fan for calling LeBron James a “pussy-ass bitch” after Game 2.

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Writer discovers harmless tweet from ESPN production assistant. Writer gets production assistant in trouble by tattling to ESPN. Writer is being a bit of a penis, frankly.

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Time is no longer an excuse for skipping the most important meal of the day.

Simple Chia Pudding

The chia seed, milk, and maple syrup combination is healthy and delicious on its own, but the real moneymakers are the three suggested variations. (Honey, orange, and pistachio FTW.) Recipe here.

simplebites.net

Breakfast Popsicles

Just yogurt and fruit and a stick to hold onto. Recipe here.

caramelpotatoes.com

Freezer-Friendly Greens & Tofu Scramble Wrap

Spend thirty minutes to make these on Sunday, stick them in the freezer, and eat well all week. Recipe here.

ohmyveggies.com

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* Another interpretation of the Shelby County decision posits that the Roberts Court is a lot like the Walking Dead, just less entertaining. [Huffington Post]

* Dean David Schizer is leaving. [The Faculty Lounge]

* Missouri tried to “save Christmas” from heathens, but had its efforts stymied when the governor realized it could literally set the state on fire. [Volokh Conspiracy]

* Cardinal Dolan, America’s most prominent Catholic bishop, apparently shifted Church assets to keep them from falling into the hands of abuse victims. Perhaps he could have exerted the same effort keeping abuse victims out of the hands of abusers? [NY Times]

* It looks like a Paul Weiss associate, Molissa Farber, is still alive in the $1,000 No-Limit event at the World Series of Poker. Maybe she’ll be able to pay off her loans sooner rather than later. [Poker News]

* Did you enjoy Milli Vanilli? Perhaps you’d like watching air guitar? The national semifinals are in New York tonight. [Bowery Ballroom]

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Tags: Air Guitar, Cardinal Timothy Dolan, Catholic Church, Columbia Law School, David Schizer, Dean David Schizer, John Roberts, Law School Deans, Law Schools, Missouri, Molissa Farber, Music, Non-Sequiturs, Paul Weiss, Poker, Religion, SCOTUS, Shelby County, Supreme Court, Voting Rights, World Series of Poker