Abetrujillo

(Lunarbaboon)

Pro tip for kids making these contracts: soylent green collection facilities are not nursing homes. Avoid getting specific about final outcomes when discussing long term care with your parents.

Hovertext: From now on, all comics shall be talking eyespots.

Thanks for a glorious run on the monocles :) We can't wait to get these into your hands. The final tally was roughly 20,000 monocles sold. Pretty neat! 

TRANSFORMERS shift, change, and rise to battle in this spectacular interactive pop-up adventure by bestselling paper engineer Matthew Reinhart. Open each page to explore a different part of the vast Transformers universe-then pull the tabs to watch the pop-ups change into entirely new paper creations!

Watch as the planet Cybertron changes into an epic battle on Earth. Then look out for the mighty Autobot Omega Supreme -- Reinhart's tallest pop-up ever -- as he rises off the page to smash Decepticon foes. In this epic pop-up experience unlike any seen before, only you hold the power to make the Autobots and Decepticons turn from vehicles to robots, and back again.

Starring more than 35 iconic Transformers characters, including Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Megatron, Starscream, and more, Transformers: The Ultimate Pop-Up Universe offers fans new and old a pop-up experience they won't ever forget.

When you are preparing your wedding, it’s nice to know exactly how many people will show up, because a lot of your expenses and plans depend on the guest count. That’s why a guest must let the couple know whether they will attend, and why many invitations contain a card to make that easy. But brides would also like to know what kind of nightmares you're going to bring with you. Bob Powers posted this modern version of the wedding RSVP card at Someecards. It contains the most common obnoxious behavior among wedding guests, and it should have a second page for warnings of any disasters not specified on the first page. -via Laughing Squid 

Honesty is always the best policy.

(via source)

Honesty is always the best policy.

(via source)

The post New Kid On the Block appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.

Donuts are delicious and so are cannolis, but the best part of the cannoli is certainly the inside, while the deep-fried dough of the donuts is heavenly. So why not stuff the donut with cannoli filling? The creator at Oh Bite It warns that these are dangerously addicting and you might find they disappear before your very eyes.

Via That's Nerdalicious

If you are looking for a special pound cake to prepare for a holiday gathering, consider this one! It is both dense and light, as all pound cakes should be; it’s rich with the aroma of almonds from the almond paste in the batter, and speckled with orange zest throughout. We’ve included a simple orange glaze though the cake stands perfectly well enough on its own without it.

Continue reading "Almond Pound Cake with Orange Glaze" »

(YouTube link)

The Smithsonian’s National Air and Space Museum in Washington unveiled, with great fanfare, the invisible jet plane that Wonder Woman travels in. They also made a video for this auspicious occasion. The display only lasted one day -April Fools Day. However, we still have the video, and a blog post about the short but important exhibition. -via Geeks Are Sexy

Hovertext: Now, Subma-Plane, that's a different story...

 Do you have yours yet?

A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her small daughter was very sick with a fever.  She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication.  She got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys in the car.

She didn't know what to do, so she called home and told the baby sitter what had happened. The baby sitter told her that the fever was getting worse.  She said, "You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door."

The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been left on the ground, possibly by someone else who at some time had locked their keys in their car. She looked at the hanger and said, "I don't know how to use this." She bowed her head and asked God to send her help.

Within five minutes a beat up old motor cycle pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head.

The woman thought, "This is what you sent to help me?" But, she was desperate, so she was also very thankful.

The man got off of his cycle and asked if he could help.

She said, "Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her.  Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"

He said, "Sure."  He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car was opened.
She hugged the man and through her tears she said, 

"Thank You So Much! You are a very nice man."

The man replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man.  I just got out of prison today. I was in prison for car theft and have only been out for about an hour."

The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out loud,
'Oh, thank you God!   You even sent me a Professional!'

Is GOD GOOD - or what!

TEACHER:   Maria, go to the map and find North America .

MARIA: Here it is.

TEACHER:  Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?

CLASS:         Maria.

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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN:           You told me to do it without using tables.

__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

GLENN:         K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'

TEACHER:  No, that's wrong

GLENN:         Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

                              (I Love this kid)

____________________________________________

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD:     H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER:  What are you talking about?

DONALD:     Yesterday you said it's H to O.

__________________________________

TEACHER:  Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE:       Me!

__________________________________________

TEACHER:  Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN:           Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

_______________________________________

TEACHER:    Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'

MILLIE:           I is..

TEACHER:    No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'

MILLIE:           All right...  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

________________________________

TEACHER:   George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.  Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS:          Because George still had the axe in his hand.

______________________________________

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON:        No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

______________________________

TEACHER:     Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

CLYDE:       No, sir. It's the same dog.

___________________________________

TEACHER:  Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD:   A teacher

Easter is almost here and if you're tired of simple rainbow colored eggs but don't have the skills to turn your own eggs into works of art, then you're in luck. We've rounded up some of the coolest DIY Easter egg directions so you can make something truly unique this holiday no matter what your skill level.

Simple Patterns

These beautiful eggs look like they took forever to color, but in actuality, they just took a short bath in boiling water and vinegar while wrapped up in a silk tie. The tie releases an array of colors that make your eggs look like works of art. Our Best Bites has the full tutorial.

Felted Easter Eggs

Felting eggs isn't particularly easy, but this tutorial by MakeZine shows it is much easier than it looks. In fact, you'll be amazed how quickly you can master the skill and create beautiful decorations you can use year after year.

Shabby Chic

This tutorial on Sylwia Serwin isn't in English, but it has so many images that you could probably replicate the process without even turning on Google translate. Essentially, you use a dremel, 3D paint, sandpaper and Mod Podge to make a simple egg look like an antique Easter decoration.

Chalkboard Eggs

Skip to My Lou used acrylic paint mixed with non-sanded grout to create her own colorful chalkboard eggs. You could also try using commercially sold chalkboard paint although many sellers only offer a few colors. You can even make your own Easter chalk to go with them as mentioned on Homes and Hues.

Embroidered Eggs

Love needlepoint? Then grab your basic tools and a dremel and get stitching. The secret is to cut a small hole in the back of the egg that can't be seen when you put the eggs in a bowl or basket. Design Sponge can show you how.

Lichtenstein-Style

Primary colors, a steady hand and a few paint brushes are all you need to transform your eggs to look like creations from the famous Roy Lichtenstein. Art Club Blog has the details.

Dragon Eggs

You might not be able to actually buy dragon eggs at your local market, but you can at least put your chicken eggs in costume to look like them. As Dzniennik BJ demonstrates, doing so is surprisingly easy as it just takes metal thumbtacks and a little glue. With a little transparent paint you could even make all three colors of Dragon eggs.

LED Eggs

Here's another crafty idea to make incredible-looking eggs with minimal effort. You can find the full Instructable here, but essentially you just need to blow out the filling from your eggs and then drop in a colored LED light.

Adventure Time & Eggvengers

Love Adventure Time but worried you don't have the skills to paint the characters on your own eggs? Then check out the free downloadables from HalloweenCostumes.com that let you simply and easily turn your dyed eggs into Adventure Time characters.

The site also has printouts to make your own team of Avengers which are particularly great for lazy people as you don't even have to dye most of the eggs as long as you buy brown eggs to start. On the other hand, if you want to do Hulk right you'll need to get your hands on an Ostrich egg.

Tattoo Eggs

If Adventure Time and the Avengers aren't your thing and you just happen to have temporary tattoos of your favorite characters, then you won't want to miss this tutorial by Brit.Co, which can show you how to add a temporary tattoo to your eggs. It's a great shortcut to add picture-perfect characters onto your Easter eggs even if you have no real art skills at all.

Looking for ideas that are a little more artistic? Then don't miss our past list of great geeky Easter eggs.

Professional bakers use steam ovens to keep baking bread from losing too much moisture during the initial several minutes of baking. You can get a similar effect at home with a sheet pan and a spray bottle.

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If you're still storing your leftovers in plastic tupperware containers or (like me) repurposed plastic deli meat containers, it's time to upgrade to Pyrex glass. This 14-piece kit is only $15 today on Amazon, an all-time low.

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(Photo: Ben & Jerry’s)

Charoset is a mixture of fruit, wine, and spices. It’s a traditional part of the Seder meal eaten during Passover. The American ice cream company Ben & Jerry’s makes ice cream that is flavored like it. It's kosher, too! The company is rolling it out for this year’s Passover, which begins on April 3.

-via Blazenfluff