Shared posts

20 Nov 03:46

The Thanksgiving Spreadsheet

by Kailee Graves
The Thanksgiving Spreadsheet - Mom

“How my mother plans for Thanksgiving dinner.”

(via source)

“How my mother plans for Thanksgiving dinner.”

(via source)

The post The Thanksgiving Spreadsheet appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.

09 Nov 03:09

What is Your Story of America?

by Nancy LeTourneau

Filmmakers Annabel Park and Eric Byler are making a film that attempts to answer the question about what divides us as Americans. Here is an excerpt:

Park wrote about what she learned from that last scene:

At the end of the video, when James catches himself being unfairly judgmental of people on welfare, when he realizes that he is not so different from the people he'd been judging, you can see the light bulb go on over his head. It took me months longer, but a light bulb went on for me as well when I revisited this experience watching the video: I'm not so different from James...
James' personal need is in terrible conflict with his political beliefs, his sense of self, and a story about America, I'll call it the Confederate South story, that he had being using to make sense of life. The basic story that I had been using, I'll call it the New America story, is different from his, but it operates in the same way in my life.
The basic story gives us a constant framework for understanding most of what happens in the public sphere and where the public and private intersect: these are the good people; these are the bad people; these are our values; these are their values, etc...
Looking back, it's amazing that James opened up to us about his dilemma and the details of his situation. If he hadn't done that, I may not see him as a person with a unique personal story. This conversation challenged the three of us to go outside of our basic story of America to understand each other.

There are actually several layers to these stories. First of all, there is the historical record of dates and events. We create our story of America by giving priority and meaning to the historical record. That is not simply something that some people do - it's the human experience. Finally, there is the interplay of our own personal stories and the story of America that we have created. It is at that intersection that we watch James experience a moment of cognitive dissonance when the two stories come into conflict. An opening is created for the possibility of expanding his story of America.

We can maintain the priorities and meaning we've given to the historical record by refusing to allow the individual stories of others to challenge our story of America. That is how we maintain the divide. The alternative is to recognize that our own story of America is something that can evolve as we listen to how it intersects with the individual stories of others.

I am reminded of what Robert Kennedy said during another moment of great division in our country.

But we can perhaps remember - even if only for a time - that those who live with us are our brothers, that they share with us the same short movement of life, that they seek - as we do - nothing but the chance to live out their lives in purpose and happiness, winning what satisfaction and fulfillment they can.
Surely this bond of common faith, this bond of common goal, can begin to teach us something. Surely we can learn, at least, to look at those around us as fellow men and surely we can begin to work a little harder to bind up the wounds among us and to become in our hearts brothers and countrymen once again.
07 Oct 02:32

The Vase In Question

by Kailee Graves
The Vase In Question - Mom

“My brother and I were having dinner at our mom’s when we spotted this on her collectibles shelf.  She claims it’s a vase.”

(via source)

“My brother and I were having dinner at our mom’s when we spotted this on her collectibles shelf.  She claims it’s a vase.”

(via source)

The post The Vase In Question appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.

10 Sep 21:04

Doug Martsch’s Pedalboard of Built to Spill 2015

by admin

When I first moved to Missoula, MT in 1993, I first saw Treepeople who was a band from Boise, ID that would tour often. I loved Treepeople. I use to listen to Time Whore and Something Vicious for Tomorrow which were great EPs from the band, and featured Doug Martsch on guitar and vocals. In the mid-to-late 90s, I began listening to Built to Spill, specifically, Nothing Wrong With Love. I mean, I listened to that album – all. the. time. Amazing album.

In the late 90s I had to see Built to Spill live for the first time. I got front and center and was in awe of Doug Martsch’s playing. How effortless he made it look, while completely full of emotion, while the person, himself, appeared separate from the moment. It was an amazing show. Doug Martsch goes down easily as one of my guitar heroes. Built to Spill has played multiple times here, yet I didn’t want to go see them in the bigger venues. I wanted to hold on to that show in the late 90s. It was a special show.

Doug Martsch's Pedalboard of Built to Spill 2015Last night, I had the opportunity to see Built to Spill again during their first show of their 2015 Fall Tour. For some reason, the show was in a small venue and was exactly what I was looking for. I again found myself front and center and soaked Doug’s guitar (amp facing directly at my face). Again, he blew my mind. Again, I’m in awe of the man and the way he plays guitar.

My wife was able to get some shots of the pedalboard, so I thought I’d share!

Doug Martsch's Pedalboard of Built to Spill 2015Here is the breakdown of pedals:

Electro-Harmonix Micro POG
Suhr Jack Rabbit Tremolo
Electro-Harmonix Deluxe Memory Boy
Xotic EP Booster
Xotic EP Booster
Xotic SP Compressor
TC Electronic Polytune Noir

The pedalboard was a home made ‘double decker’ board – small and efficient. I thought it was interesting that he’s using 2 Xotic EP Boosters. I double.. and triple checked that. My guess, either internal trim pots are set differently, or simply the levels are set differently. I was unable to view the knobs on that row.

Next to the pedalboard, he had 2 pedals to manage vocal effects:

Doug Martsch's Pedalboard of Built to Spill 2015Eventide Mixing Link Microphone Preamp
Eventide Timefactor Delay

I would like to thank my wife of Amy Donovan Photography for providing these photos! Are you a fan of Dough Martsch and Built to Spill? Let me know what you think!

The post Doug Martsch’s Pedalboard of Built to Spill 2015 appeared first on Effects Bay.

01 Sep 00:13

25 Pets Celebrating Their Birthdays

by Kailee Graves
28 Aug 18:22

after i wrote it, i realized this comic actually works PRETTY WELL for parents to send to non-parent friends too! it is... the universal comic??

archive - contact - sexy exciting merchandise - search - about
← previous August 28th, 2015 next

August 28th, 2015: BABIES, AM I RIGHT?? AM I RIGHT, BABIES??

– Ryan

31 Jul 04:42

20 Safe Baby Handling Tips

by Kailee Graves
20 Safe Baby Handling Tips - Awkward Galleries

Authors Kelly and David Sopp have some advice for you. Their book, Safe Baby Handling Tips, outline all of the tips first-time parents should know when raising their baby.”

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(via source)

Authors Kelly and David Sopp have some advice for you. Their book, Safe Baby Handling Tips, outline all of the tips first-time parents should know when raising their baby.”

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(via source)

The post 20 Safe Baby Handling Tips appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.

31 Jul 04:33

19 Of The Worst Family Feud Answers

by Kailee Graves
19 Of The Worst Family Feud Answers - Random Awkwardness

1. NAME SOMETHING YOU’D DO TONIGHT IF THE WORLD WAS COMING TO AN END TOMORROW.
“Get the kids and pack.”

2. DURING WHAT MONTH OF PREGNANCY DOES A WOMAN BEGIN TO LOOK PREGNANT?
“September.”

3. NAME A REASON FOR KNEELING.
“To be beheaded.”

4. NAME A FAMOUS OR FICTIONAL WILLY.
“Willy the Pooh.”

5. NAME SOMETHING YOU OPEN OTHER THAN A DOOR.
“Bowels.”

6. NAME SOMETHING YOU SQUEEZE.
“Peanut butter.”

7. NAME A FAMOUS DICK.
“Carrot.”

8. NAME A BOY MENTIONED IN NURSERY RHYMES.
“Little Red Riding-Hood.”

9. NAME SOMETHING YOU HIT WHEN IT’S NOT WORKING.
“Your spouse.”

10. NAME SOMETHING ASSOCIATED WITH LIVERPOOL.
“The yellow brick road.”

11. NAME A BODY PART BEGINNING WITH THE LETTER N.
“Name.”

12. NAME A FAMOUS BRIDGE.
“Bridge Over Troubled Water.”

13. NAME A DOMESTICATED ANIMAL.
“Leopard.”

14. NAME A FAMOUS BROTHER AND SISTER.
“Bonnie and Clyde.”

15. NAME SOMETHING YOU DO IN THE BATHROOM.
“Decorate.”

16. NAME SOMETHING THAT COMES IN 7S.
“Fingers.”

17. NAME A CITY NAMED AFTER A PRESIDENT.
“Carson City.”

18. NAME SOMETHING SLIPPERY.
“A con man.”

19. NAME SOMETHING ORANGE.
“A banana.”

(via source)

1. NAME SOMETHING YOU’D DO TONIGHT IF THE WORLD WAS COMING TO AN END TOMORROW.
“Get the kids and pack.”

2. DURING WHAT MONTH OF PREGNANCY DOES A WOMAN BEGIN TO LOOK PREGNANT?
“September.”

3. NAME A REASON FOR KNEELING.
“To be beheaded.”

4. NAME A FAMOUS OR FICTIONAL WILLY.
“Willy the Pooh.”

5. NAME SOMETHING YOU OPEN OTHER THAN A DOOR.
“Bowels.”

6. NAME SOMETHING YOU SQUEEZE.
“Peanut butter.”

7. NAME A FAMOUS DICK.
“Carrot.”

8. NAME A BOY MENTIONED IN NURSERY RHYMES.
“Little Red Riding-Hood.”

9. NAME SOMETHING YOU HIT WHEN IT’S NOT WORKING.
“Your spouse.”

10. NAME SOMETHING ASSOCIATED WITH LIVERPOOL.
“The yellow brick road.”

11. NAME A BODY PART BEGINNING WITH THE LETTER N.
“Name.”

12. NAME A FAMOUS BRIDGE.
“Bridge Over Troubled Water.”

13. NAME A DOMESTICATED ANIMAL.
“Leopard.”

14. NAME A FAMOUS BROTHER AND SISTER.
“Bonnie and Clyde.”

15. NAME SOMETHING YOU DO IN THE BATHROOM.
“Decorate.”

16. NAME SOMETHING THAT COMES IN 7S.
“Fingers.”

17. NAME A CITY NAMED AFTER A PRESIDENT.
“Carson City.”

18. NAME SOMETHING SLIPPERY.
“A con man.”

19. NAME SOMETHING ORANGE.
“A banana.”

(via source)

The post 19 Of The Worst Family Feud Answers appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.

30 Jul 14:50

Optical manipulation: Temporal tweezers

by Rachel Won

Nature Photonics 9, 481 (2015). doi:10.1038/nphoton.2015.144

Author: Rachel Won

25 Jul 16:54

21 Honest Parenting Cards

by Kailee Graves
21 Honest Parenting Cards - Awkward Galleries

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(via source)

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(via source)

The post 21 Honest Parenting Cards appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.

18 Jul 03:04

I hope a tornado goes right through the middle of it



I hope a tornado goes right through the middle of it

16 Jul 04:54

DIY Moth-Repellent Sachet — Apartment Therapy

by The Kitchn
15 Jul 22:14

PLUTO! CHARON!

by Phil Plait

Today, for the first time, we have received our first looks at Pluto and its moon Charon up close! And the pictures are truly amazing.

First, here’s Charon:

Wow! Charon is 1,207 kilometers (750 miles) in diameter, to give you a sense of scale. That’s roughly the distance from New York City to Atlanta.

The dark region at the north is nicknamed Mordor. If you look closely, there are craters in it that are bright. This means the dark coating is a thin veneer, thin enough that small impacts go right through it to the brighter material beneath.

Scientists have already speculated that the dark region may be a deposit of ice leaked from Pluto’s atmosphere very slowly over time. Pluto’s atmosphere is incredibly thin, but due to its low gravity the atmosphere there is pretty puffy, and easily lost at the top to flow over to Charon.

The southern region of Charon is far smoother, and therefore must be young: Over time, impacts would dot it with craters, so if there are few craters then Charon must have been resurfaced by activity at some recent time. It’s hard to say how old it is; these are still heavily compressed images sent back as a failsafe; higher resolution images are coming soon.

Of note is the gash at the upper right on the moon’s limb; that’s a canyon up to 10 kilometers deep. At the top of the canyon is a notch that is also quite deep.

At the moment there’s not more we can say; it’ll take a while to analyze this, and then we’ll be getting those better images over the next few days as well.

The star of the show, of course, is Pluto. First, the heart-shaped area has been informally renamed Tombaugh Regio, after Clyde Tombaugh who discovered Pluto. That’s nice.

New Horizons took a close-up shot of Pluto at the lower bit of the heart, just to the left of the cusp. This is what it saw:

WHOA. Those are mountains, and big ones, 3.5 kilometers (11,000 feet) high. Methane and nitrogen are frozen at Pluto’s temperature, but they aren’t stiff enough to support mountains that high. These features must be bedrock—actually, “bedice”—made of water ice, which is harder than rock at these temperatures. The methane and nitrogen detected must be thin coatings on top of the water ice underneath.

Amazingly, there are no craters at all in this image. None. That means the surface must be young, having been resurfaced quite recently. The scientists on New Horizons figure the terrain must be less than 100 million years old, but that’s a guess.

That’s amazingly young! And there is a strong implication here. This is the first time we’ve seen a world that is mostly composed of ice that is not orbiting a planet. In general, tides work to heat icy moons (see my episode of Crash Course Astronomy about tides for details), and that can play into smoothing the surface features.

But Pluto doesn’t have that! Pluto and Charon are tidally locked, spinning at the same rate they orbit each other, so there is no tidal stress. What could be heating Pluto so that its surface is young? Radioactivity from rocks beneath the surface? It’s hard to say just yet. We have a Plutonian mystery on our hands.

Also, if there’s a coating of nitrogen on the mountains, it must be dredged up from underground. What’s doing that? Cryovolcanoes (literally ice volcanoes), or gas vents like geysers? Hopefully the higher resolution images and spectra will gives us the evidence we need to figure that out.

Also, the lower regions are smooth, looking like they were filled in. Perhaps that’s from liquid flow (water laced with ammonia can stay liquid beneath the surface, so if it leaks out it could do this). The surface to the lower right is hummocky, hilly in waves. It almost looks like there’s a line through it too, like a fault line. Again, these are still low-res images. We’ll know more soon.

Note that Charon and Pluto are very different; Pluto is bright, Charon dark. Why? Perhaps atmospheric transport is behind this … or maybe something else. As new data come in we’ll learn more (and come up with even more questions, too).

Finally, here is Hydra, one of Pluto’s smaller moons:

I know, it’s very low-res, but it’s still interesting! It shows that Hydra is 45 x 30 kilometers (28 x 19 miles) in size, and very irregular. Like so many small bodies, it looks lumpy and potato-shaped. It’s very shiny, reflecting about 40 percent of the light that hits it, meaning the surface is probably slightly contaminated water ice.

This is all astounding. Astounding! Remember, Pluto is a staggering 5 billion kilometers (3 billion miles) from Earth. We humans sent New Horizons there a dozen times faster than a rifle bullet, let it travel for more than nine years, flew it past Jupiter to steal a little bit of energy and speed it up even more, and when the piano-size probe got there, its trajectory was accurate to about 70 kilometers! It passed 12,500 kilometers over the surface, and mind you was able to take sharp data at that speed despite sunlight that is weaker than what we see on Earth by a factor of 1,000!

This is what we humans do when we keep our heads up, when we cooperate, when we allow our curiosity to guide ourselves.

I almost wrote, “… when we let our curiosity get the better of us.” But you know what? Our curiosity is the better of us.

Look at what we did! And there is much, much more to come. We’ll be receiving flyby data literally for months, and each new image, each spectrum, each measurement will reveal something new about these worlds at the frontier of the solar system.

Stay tuned. There’s much more to explore.

03 Jul 03:08

Animal Photobombs

by Kailee Graves
Animal Photobombs - Awkward Galleries

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(via source)

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(via source)

The post Animal Photobombs appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.

29 Jun 15:17

All the Colors of the Sun

It is still not known why the Sun's light is missing some colors. It is still not known why the Sun's light is missing some colors.


27 Jun 02:05

America should be very proud.



America should be very proud.

25 Jun 15:45

A Moment of Schadenfreude

by Ed Kilgore

So before moving on from today's SCOTUS decision in King v. Burwell, let's luxuriate for a moment into scalded-cat reactions of those conservatives who have already offered comments.

At National Review's The Corner, Quin Hilyer had this to say about the Chief Justice:

With today’s Obamacare decision, John Roberts confirms that he has completely jettisoned all pretense of textualism. He is a results-oriented judge, period, ruling on big cases based on what he thinks the policy result should be or what the political stakes are for the court itself. He is a disgrace. That is all.

The headline was: "Chief Justice Roberts Has Officially Gone Native in Washington."

This theme of personal, deliberate betrayal by Roberts was ratcheted up a few notches at Red State by frequent diarist Leon Wolf, who after an extensive and unintentionally hilarious series of assertions that not one person who ever went to law school could honestly agree with the majority opinion, delivered this anathema:

One wonders how many decades of electing Republicans to the Presidency are needed before the Supreme Court finds itself reformed in all the many ways we are continually promised by Republican candidates. One further wonders how long we will continue deluding ourselves into believing that it will ever actually happen.
More importantly, John Roberts has now been fully exposed for what he is - a craven, unprincipled hack, determined to protect the interests of his own power and his institution’s prestige over and above the interests of doing his job well and honestly. In other words, he’s basically the Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) of the Supreme Court.

Ouchy ouchy.

At the Federalist, Ben Domenech took the "heightening the contradictions" approach:

[T]his SCOTUScare ruling presents an accurate reflection of the reality in Washington: that American politics no longer has real checks and balances. The rules no longer apply. Words mean whatever we say they mean at the time that we say them, neither more nor less. Welcome to the Cartman presidency, where the executive does whatever he wants, up to and including making IRS bureaucrats decide a multi-billion dollar issue. Think the text means exactly what it says? Judicial fiat says lol, jk.
In the context of a nation governed by men and not laws, arguments from the establishment about process, restraint, and the normal give and take of what used to be the American political system for most of the Twentieth Century are going to become weaker and weaker. For the faction that demands dramatic change, the gradualist approach favored by Republican leaders who yearn for the status quo politics of the before time - before the bailouts, before Obama, before the Tea Party - is revealed as a myth.

Both Domenech and Hot Air's Ed Morrisey observed that the decision did keep congressional Republicans from "caving" on the subsidies and and keeping Obamacare alive with their own hands (I suspect Ramesh Ponnuru's prediction earlier this week that this would happen is achieving the status of instant impossible-to-disprove CW).

And now the 335 Republican presidential candidates are starting to weigh in, with Mike Huckabee first out of the box (per TPM's Ahiza Garcia):

"Today's King v. Burwell decision, which protects and expands ObamaCare, is an out-of-control act of judicial tyranny,” Huckabee said in his statement. “Our Founding Fathers didn't create a 'do-over' provision in our Constitution that allows unelected, Supreme Court justices the power to circumvent Congress and rewrite bad laws.”

I can only begin to imagine what Bobby (Nobody Can Get to the Right of Me) Jindal will have to say.

22 Jun 18:52

Fools!



Fools!

22 May 15:22

Vodka

Or whatever's handy! I'm pretty much pure alcohol and water, so it doesn't really matter!
26 Apr 03:16

Beats by Barack.

22 Apr 15:30

The Development of High-Performance Alkali-Hybrid Polarized $^3\mathrm{He}$ Targets for Electron Scattering. (arXiv:1309.4004v2 [physics.atom-ph] UPDATED)

by Jaideep T. Singh, P. A. M. Dolph, W. A. Tobias, T. D. Averett, A. Kelleher, K. E. Mooney, V. V. Nelyubin, Yunxiao Wang, Yuan Zheng, G. D. Cates

We present the development of high-performance polarized $^3\mathrm{He}$ targets for use in electron scattering experiments that utilize the technique of alkali-hybrid spin-exchange optical pumping. We include data obtained during the characterization of 24 separate target cells, each of which was constructed while preparing for one of four experiments at Jefferson Laboratory in Newport News, Virginia. The results presented here document dramatic improvement in the performance of polarized $^3\mathrm{He}$ targets, as well as the target properties and operating parameters that made those improvements possible. Included in our measurements were determinations of the so-called $X$-factors that quantify a temperature-dependent and as-yet poorly understood spin-relaxation mechanism that limits the maximum achievable $^3\mathrm{He}$ polarization to well under 100%. The presence of this spin-relaxation mechanism was clearly evident in our data. We also present results from a simulation of the alkali-hydrid spin-exchange optical pumping process that was developed to provide guidance in the design of these targets. Good agreement with actual performance was obtained by including details such as off-resonant optical pumping. Now benchmarked against experimental data, the simulation is useful for the design of future targets. Included in our results is a measurement of the $\mathrm{K}$-$^3\mathrm{He}$ spin-exchange rate coefficient $k^\mathrm{K}_\mathrm{se} = \left ( 7.46 \pm 0.62 \right )\!\times\!10^{-20}\ \mathrm{cm^3/s}$ over the temperature range 503 K to 563 K.

21 Apr 18:15

Mind officialy blown



Mind officialy blown

10 Apr 04:02

17 Pet Products That Are Totally Necessary

by Charlie Mattingly
02 Apr 18:40

What the hell



What the hell

21 Mar 16:51

11 Unfortunate Name Marriages

by Charlie Mattingly
11 Unfortunate Name Marriages - Awkward Galleries

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16 Mar 18:28

Lunch Buffet

by Ed Kilgore
Nate P

shared for the video.

So for the first time in a while I have a rooting interest in March Madness, though my Georgia Bulldogs (seeded 10th in the East) got a scary first round opponent in Michigan State, a team that seems to make it into at least the Sweet Sixteen, and usually beyond that, every year. They play early on Friday, so at least I'll be into the tourney through the first day-and-a-half.

Here are some non-sporting news/views treats:

* The Mark Sanford of Russia, Vladimir Putin, reappears; still no clear answer on where he was or what he was doing the last ten days.

* Amanda Marcotte discusses the song that will be playing over the title credits if Mike Huckabee's God, Guns, Grits and Gravy is ever made into a movie: "Pissed Off Rednecks Like Me."

* Ezra Klein makes the case for an extremely unlikely Al Gore 2016 presidential candidacy.

* Revolutionary claims being made by RCP's Caitlin HueyBurns for Meerkat, an app that makes it easy to live-stream political events.

* First conservative article I've seen arguing Scott Walker's already "inevitable" as GOP nominee. So don't Republicans need some new candidates to get in?

And in non-political news:

* 90% of buildings in Port Vila, capital of Venautu, reportedly destroyed by Cyclone Pam.

As we break for lunch, here's Heart performing "Crazy On You," on the occasion of their induction into the Rock-and-Roll Hall of Fame in 2013."


16 Mar 03:39

Humor and Sanity

by Nancy LeTourneau

As Republicans continue to lose their ever-lovin' minds, it's important to remember that humor can be a great tool for maintaining one's sanity when all about you are abandoning theirs. Leonard Pitt's expressed it well in response to the news that John Stewart was retiring from The Daily Show.

We tend to underestimate humor, but it has this way of clarifying that which is difficult and opaque. You can often make a more trenchant point with a joke than with a 10,000-word treatise, something Stewart proved night in and night out.

Nowhere was that done more powerfully and adeptly than when Stephen Colbert challenged both the Bush/Cheney administration and the media at the 2006 White House Correspondent's Dinner.

Much has been written about how President Obama can be professorial. Not so much about his use of humor. Beyond appearances between two ferns, late night shows and Comedy Central, he has used it quite effectively on the campaign trail. Anyone remember Romnesia in 2012? When he delivered those lines for the first time I knew - beyond a shadow of a doubt - that he would be re-elected.

Here's another example that is not as well known. It was 2010 and the President was in Nevada stumping with Harry Reid - whose opponent was Sharon Angle. To talk about Angle seriously is to give her more credit than she deserves. Hence...

Last night at the Gridiron Dinner, President Obama provided us with some humor to combat the current crazy.

...getting older changes you. For example, coffee really disagrees with me these days — which is why John Boehner just invited coffee to address the joint House...
Despite a great performance tonight, Scott has had a few recent stumbles. The other week he said he didn’t know whether or not I was a Christian. And I was taken aback, but fortunately my faith teaches us forgiveness. So, Governor Walker, as-salamu alaykum...
And, finally, Governor Walker got some heat for staying silent when Rudy Giuliani said I don’t love America — which I also think is a problem. Think about it, Scott — if I did not love America, I wouldn’t have moved here from Kenya...
And we can’t just focus on 2016, people. We just had an election. This new Congress is just getting started, which is why I want to acknowledge the leader of the House Republicans — as soon as I figure out who that is.
The fact is, I really genuinely like John Boehner. But from your press reports, I gather he may be in real trouble. Over the past several weeks, many of you have been writing about a possible conservative coup — or as Bill O’Reilly calls it, “reporting from the war zone.”...
And then I got flak for appearing on a video for BuzzFeed, trying to reach younger voters. What nonsense. You know, you don’t diminish your office by taking a selfie. You do it by sending a poorly written letter to Iran. Really, that wasn’t a joke.

Ahhhh...I can feel my sanity quotient rising even as we speak.

14 Mar 15:12

No food, no farts, no drama

by Kerry

Spotted by Heather in P-town, Mass:

If you are crazy, stay out!

related: The snotty video store clerk lives!

13 Mar 04:10

25 Wrong Test Answers That Deserve an A+

by Charlie Mattingly
12 Mar 19:00

Brothers-in-Arms

by Ed Kilgore

Okay, I just cannot resist recommending William Saletan's snarky but acute "open letter" to the Republican senators who signed Tom Cotton's infamous epistle from its recipients, the Iranian mullahs.

[Y]our letter has prompted us to undertake a broader study of the American political system. What we have learned has opened our eyes. For 35 years, we have treated you as an adversary. Our intelligence agencies told us that your culture and your political system were radically different from ours. We now understand that we were misled. Your country is much like ours. Indeed, your Republican Congress is much like our revolutionary Islamic councils. We are brothers.
Your letter explains that our discussions with your president have been in vain because “anything not approved by Congress is a mere executive agreement,” which can easily be cast aside by a future president or Congress. Under your Constitution, as you point out, “the president may serve only two 4-year terms, whereas senators may serve an unlimited number of 6-year terms.” Therefore, the ultimate authority to make and interpret your country’s policies resides with you, not with your president. As you note, “President Obama will leave office in January 2017, while most of us will remain in office well beyond then—perhaps decades.”
We were delighted to read this sentence. What you have described—a circle of overseers who work in perpetuity to restrain the president—is very familiar to us. Our president, like yours, is limited to two consecutive four-year terms. His powers are also severely circumscribed. He has a national security council, but he and his council do not establish our nation’s policies.
In our system, true power lies with the chamber that oversees the president. For you, this chamber is the Senate, controlled by your Republican caucus. For us, it is the Council of Guardians. Members of our council, like members of your Senate, serve six-year terms. The council may veto any legislation, which, in its judgment, violates our republic’s guiding body of law. For us, that body of law is Sharia.

Wait, it gets even better, with a nice skewering of "constitutional conservatism" with its divinely ordained founding documents that trump democracy:

Our intelligence agencies told us that in your country, the guiding document is your Constitution. Recently, however, we watched videos from your “Conservative Political Action Conference.” Several of your senators spoke there about the abomination of homosexual marriage and the importance of protecting religion. Our assessment is that your senators interpret your Constitution in accordance with the Christian Bible, just as our council applies our Constitution in the light of the Holy Quran. We particularly enjoyed the speech of your senator from Texas, Ted Cruz, who called on your government to fight for Christians abroad. This is in agreement with our own policy of coming to the aid of faithful Muslims everywhere.
We are in great admiration of Sen. Cruz. In our republic, he would be an Ayatollah Uzma. We appreciate his signature on your letter and his steadfastness in correcting your president. Many of us were dismayed to learn that Sen. Cruz was criticized in your country for withholding the government’s operating funds in order to block the implementation of a health care law. Some Americans even called the senator a hostage taker.

After some more amusing talk about Tom Cotton reminding the mullahs of the audacious young Revolutionary Guards of 1979, Saletan's "letter" concludes:

Prompted by your letter, our council has decided to end the talks with your secretary of state and dismiss nuclear inspectors from our country. We look forward to working with you in the future on other matters of common interest, such as prayer, capital punishment, and troops in Iraq.

Yeah, life does sometimes imitate parody.