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25 Sep 00:11

Celine Dion Is Ending Her Reign As Las Vegas Residency Queen

by Rich Juzwiak
IKEA Monkey

"The residency, simply titled Celine, has reportedly grossed over $233 million since opening in 2011. The one that preceded it at Caesars (A New Day...) ran from 2003 to 2007 and reportedly grossed $385 million. "

Holy shit Celine!!

It’s another end of another era: Celine Dion has announced that her current residency at the Caesars Palace Colosseum venue in Las Vegas will come to a close on June 8, 2019.

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23 Sep 14:45

Alaska man given 'pass' after pleading guilty in sexual assault case

by Robert Gearty
IKEA Monkey

Disgusting.

An Alaska man accused of kidnapping, choking and sexually abusing a woman avoided a jail sentence after the prosecutor told the judge he was giving the man a “pass.”
21 Sep 22:25

Man charged in killing of woman who was jogging

IKEA Monkey

Awful. I wonder if Fox News will give her as much coverage as they did Mollie Tibbets. Probably not considering the killer was a white male.

A 23-year-old man has been charged with murder in the stabbing death of a Washington woman who was jogging Tuesday evening, according to DC police.
21 Sep 02:29

Brie Larson Was Told to Smile, So She Put Smiles onto Marvel Dudes

by Nicole Clark
IKEA Monkey

Not all heroes wear capes. But sometimes they do.

The Captain Marvel trailer that dropped Tuesday excited fans not just because it showed a badass Brie Larson showing off the usual suite of superpowers—flying, super strength, shooting energy from her fingertips—but because it's the Marvel Cinematic Universe's first film centered around a woman.

But the trailer also brought out the usual sexist trolls. A stew of mostly male social media users prejudged Larson's performance, calling it "wooden" and claiming she ought to "smile more"—a very common form of harassment that objectifies women by implying their emotions and appearance ought to be controlled and that they're for the pleasure of others.

One totally normal, well-adjusted person went so far as to photoshop a smile onto her face on the movie's promotional materials:

Larson responded with an Instagram story that featured Marvel posters with smiles photoshopped onto the (male) heroes, hilariously highlighting the hypocrisy of her sexist critics. They look incredibly creepy and dumb as hell because superheroes tend to look serious when they're at work saving the world:

Other Twitter users quickly followed suit, showering us with numerous creepily photoshopped male smiling faces:

Captain Marvel is a fighter pilot who gets superpowers and spends her time fighting off a band of shape-shifting aliens and whatever else. She doesn't have time for anyone telling her to smile.

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Follow Nicole Clark on Twitter.

21 Sep 00:50

Airline misspells its own name on plane

IKEA Monkey

Woopsie

Sometimes, a massive typo is right in front of your eyes and you can't see it.
21 Sep 00:28

Texas mayor kills huge alligator she thinks ate her miniature horse

by Karin Brulliard
IKEA Monkey

AVENGE MY MINI HORSE

A miniature horse vanished a few years ago from Judy Cochran's Southeast Texas cattle ranch. On Monday, she fired one shot to kill what she says was the likely perpetrator: a 12-foot, 580-pound alligator in a murky pond on her property.

This act quickly earned Cochran her 15 minutes of fame, and...

20 Sep 14:24

#707 Ripping off the tag and wearing what you just bought out of the store

by Neil Pasricha
IKEA Monkey

OMG I did this last year in Philadelphia. It was rain/snowing and the soles of my shoes finally gave out and my feet began getting soaked and cold. We walked into a Payless, I tried on a pair of shoes, then bought a new pair of socks, changed right there and threw my old shoes in the store trash can. I still have the shoes I bought that day, too.

Sometimes those old, ratty sandals need to get buried. When sidewalk steps rattle your spine and walking to the store gives you severe Blackfoot, it’s time to go shopping.

Next time you slide on that fresh new pair in the store, just pause for a second and look wistfully at the broken, smooth-soled flat ones in your hand. So many rainy nights, so many deck parties, so many quick trips for gas. Fight tears and steady your lip as you stare the teenage cashier square in the eye and say:

“Do you guys have a garbage can?”

AWESOME!

goodbye old friendPhoto from: here

— Listen to my podcast 3 Books with Neil Pasricha

The post #707 Ripping off the tag and wearing what you just bought out of the store appeared first on 1000 Awesome Things.

20 Sep 00:18

Report: President Has Mushroom Dick 

by Megan Reynolds on The Slot, shared by Megan Reynolds to Jezebel
IKEA Monkey

This is the fucking worst timeline

Stormy Daniels’s presidential tell-all Full Disclosure isn’t out yet, but the Guardian snagged a copy, which is why we now have a working description of Donald Trump’s dick.

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20 Sep 00:17

Tesla Stock Plummets After Report of Criminal Probe Into Musk’s Buyout Statements

by Matthew Zeitlin
IKEA Monkey

This dumb-dumb is going to talk his company right into the group. SHUT. UP. ELON.

Tesla shares fell more than 6 percent following a Bloomberg report that the Justice Department is investigating Elon Musk’s claims that he had “funding secured” for a buyout of the electric car company.

20 Sep 00:13

Millie Bobby Brown Says Drake Texts Her Advice About Boys

by Hannah Gold
IKEA Monkey

Maybe he shouldn't?

In an interview with Access Hollywood on the Emmy Awards red carpet on Monday, 14-year-old Stranger Things actor Millie Bobby Brown proudly broadcasted that she is friends with 31-year-old rapper Drake and the two sometime text about boys.

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19 Sep 18:30

Christine and the Queens Isn't Going to Make It Easy for You

by Hazel Cills
IKEA Monkey

I love Christine & the Queens

Last year, Hélöise Letissier began to feel different. The French pop star was coming off her first big major tour as Christine and the Queens, performing her critically acclaimed album Chaleur Humaine. The 2014 record was an admirably complex introduction, a collection of bare-bones synth-pop that playfully…

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18 Sep 16:15

Memes Have Finally Made It to the Museum

by Luke Winkie
IKEA Monkey

Amazing

There is something delightfully uncanny about entering the "Two Decades of Memes" exhibit in Queens' Museum of the Moving Image, and seeing a crisp, supersized print of the famed Expanding Brain hanging on the wall. As citizens of the internet, we exclusively consume memes through ravioli-sized jpegs stretched out on our phones and laptops. But here, on the austere walls of a scholarly repository—one that's also hosting showcases on the evolution of the video camera and the artistry of Jim Henson—you get the first taste of a future where some of the silliest jokes alive will be studied as part of our global story.

The exhibit is curated by the website KnowYourMeme, which has long established itself as the centralized authority for internet humor. As you might expect from the name, "Two Decades of Memes" is a combination of both a timeline, and a gallery, that walks you through some of the most famous, and most viral, artifacts in the history of cyberspace. It begins in 1998, and the famously garbled "All Your Base Are Belong To Us" monologue from the '80s arcade game Zero Wing, which subsequently immortalized in a flash cartoon with the same name. It's a worthy starting point, and dovetails neatly into other all-stars like Rage Comics, Pepe the Frog, the Jealous Girlfriend, etc, until you're given a thorough distillation of how memes have evolved, and diversified with technology. All together, it forces you to consider how this particular slice of web diction originally lived on the pages of prehistoric forums like SomethingAwful, before eventually making their homes in extremely public places, like say, Kim Kardashian's Instagram account.

"I moved to America from Korea after elementary school, and the internet was the way I adjusted to western culture," says Brad Kim, editor-in-chief of KnowYourMeme. "It was so helpful, that I decided to study how those ideas catch on and change. With this exhibit I wanted to present a singular narrative that [tracks memes] that interacts with how the media and IT have developed over the past 20 years."

Alongside the visual part of the exhibit, KnowYourMeme booked a symposium of speakers who were tasked with tackling one of many intellectual angles on the maturation of online humor. Amanda Brennan, who works at Tumblr, gave a slideshow presentation on the history (and prosperity) of cats on the internet. GIPHY's Ari Spool led a discussion on the continued renaissance of the GIF. Kim hosted a conversation about the intersection of meme artists and the overarching art world. And VICE's own Eve Peyser and Peter Slattery, were both featured panelists, examining why millennial humor is so weird/dark and meme analytics, respectively. Essentially, the exhibit argues for people to take memes seriously; that the ephemeral, throwaway jokes that cross your timeline on a daily basis are worth putting under the microscope. "I want to bring [memes] to a level beyond [a joke,]" says Kim. "And how they interact with the social affairs in the world."

This is an audacious challenge. It's hard to know how to archive and analyze memes in a meaningful way in 2018, when the format itself is still so young, and in constant flux. There's not much you can compare it to either. For example, the Museum of the Moving Image does a lot of work in the movie industry, which has its own corresponding tradition of film theory and criticism. That infrastructure doesn't yet exist for, say, an image macro of an expanding brain. No, memes are too new, and too insurgent, to be examined with objective eyes. In that sense, KnowYourMeme's work is on the cultural frontier.

All in all, the Two Decades of Memes exhibit is a noble attempt to canonize a brief chronicle of internet folklore, but it doesn't address how memes are getting more political, and more meta, as the years pile on. Pepe the Frog has been hijacked by an international community of racists—it's not the first example of that, and it certainly won't be the last, and Kim tells me he'd like to explore a deeper reading into the politicization of internet humor in the future.

There's are of course those who may harbor the idea that memes aren't worthy of academic discourse, an understandable position, and one I put past the Museum of the Motion Image's Executive Director Carl Goodman. He is quick to remind those who feel this way that one of the very first films ever made for the Kinetoscope, a 19th century motion picture device, was of two boxing cats—essentially a Tumblr GIF pushed out during the Grover Cleveland administration. Media, even when it's deemed silly or frivolous, can still be crucial.

"In a way, we have a responsibility to help contribute to the zeitgeist. We're not reacting to these new forms of expression, we're helping people look at them in a more serious way," says Goodman. "We need to fulfill our responsibility as a museum, which is to make sure the kinds of things that we'll look back on as significant, and influential, and inspirational, are made available not just for the public, but for scholars, and to others that want to document the history that we're living through."

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Follow Luke Winkie on Twitter.

18 Sep 14:34

Elon Musk sued for defamation by Thai-cave rescue volunteer he called a 'child rapist'

by Drew Harwell

The Thai-cave rescue volunteer Vernon Unsworth has sued Tesla chief Elon Musk for claiming that Unsworth is a "pedo" and "child rapist," ratcheting up the chaos surrounding one of the most prominent and volatile tech billionaires.

The defamation lawsuit will extend an episode that has made even...

18 Sep 14:31

Instant Pot Egg Bites

by Coco Morante
IKEA Monkey

COREY

In addition to looking darn adorable, these Instant Pot bites are super delicious and easy to make in the pressure cooker! Just like Starbucks egg bites, but better. Easy to make ahead, reheat, and even FREEZE!

Continue reading "Instant Pot Egg Bites" »

18 Sep 02:33

Richard Gere, 69, and expecting

IKEA Monkey

She's expecting, not him. He'll just pay the bills.

Richard Gere has gone from "American Gigolo" to a great American dad.
17 Sep 21:59

Burberry Unveils the Perfect Alternative to the Invisibility Cloak

by Ecleen Caraballo
IKEA Monkey

Its a real-life Lord Helmet hat

London Fashion Week is going strong, and today’s runways included a strong case for making lettuce heads an accessory from Molly Goddard and ruffles as a key part of any look, via David Koma. Most impressive, though, was Riccardo Tisci’s first showing for Burberry, which featured the perfect unison of bucket hat,…

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17 Sep 21:16

Here’s what $500,000 buys in Chicago right now

by Sara Freund
IKEA Monkey

That Rogers Park house is GORGEOUS

See what this price point gets you in Gold Coast, Kenwood, and Lincoln Square

Welcome to Curbed Comparisons, a weekly column that explores what one can buy for a set dollar amount in various Chicago neighborhoods. We’ve found six homes within $25,000 of today’s price: $500,000.

Gold Coast

 Photos courtesy of @properties

Let’s start with this two-bedroom, two-bathroom condo in a boutique elevator building from 1923. The unit at 921 N. LaSalle Drive has 11-foot ceilings, hardwood flooring, custom built-ins, a fireplace, and a walk-in closet with french doors. The home is surrounded by 100-year-old buildings and sits on a tree-lined block near Washington Square Park. Asking price is $500,000.

Kenwood

 Photos courtesy of Keller Williams

Here’s a classic row house in the beautiful historic Kenwood neighborhood. Built in 1887, 1033 E. 49th Street comes with five bedrooms and three bathrooms. You’ll find the original hardwood floors with inlay oak accents and the original wood-burning fireplaces too. In this neighborhood there are beautiful historic homes and a much less competitive market than Lincoln Park or Lakeview. Asking price is $524,900.

Lincoln Square

 Photos courtesy of Dream Town Realty

We’ll admit, the living room here feels quite a bit dated but the backyard is what puts this house on our list. The Georgian-style brick home comes with three bedrooms, one and a half baths, a family room with a skylight, an enclosed sun room, and a nearly finished basement. The property at 2848 W. Rascher Avenue is listed for $500,000.

Lakeview

 Photos by VHT Studios, courtesy of Coldwell Banker Homes

Here’s a condo in a building by Chicago architect Robert DeGolver. Throughout the 1920s he designed a handful of grand lakefront buildings that pull elements from Italian palazzos, Georgian, and Art Deco styles. The unit at 3500 N. Lake Shore Drive has three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a chef’s kitchen, new hardwood floors, and a spa-like master bathroom. The owners have taken advantage of the long hallway and high ceilings by making quite a few gallery walls with antique mirrors, art, and dishes. Asking price is $524,000.

Rogers Park

 Photos courtesy of @properties

This sunny yellow 1896 Queen Anne Victorian sits on a large corner lot and just came on the market two days ago. The interior is bursting with vintage charm: 10-foot ceilings, original hardwood floors, oak molding, french doors, and elegant beams. The four-bedroom, one-and-a-half bath home has an updated eat-in kitchen which overlooks a huge backyard with mature trees. The house at 2145 W. Greenleaf Avenue listed for $500,000.

17 Sep 17:32

Fugs & Pieces, September 14th, 2018

by Jessica
IKEA Monkey

The missing actress is Fan Bing Bing! She might be in jail?!

Cute boys, terrible men, and one possibly missing actress.
17 Sep 15:48

Vontae Davis is an American hero

by Ryan Van Bibber
IKEA Monkey

This is pretty incredible

Bye.

Knowing when to leave and actually doing it takes some guts.

Buffalo Bills cornerback Vontae Davis retired at halftime during a loss to the Chargers on Sunday. Walked away from the game, right in the middle of one. People on internet suckhole of Twitter divided into two camps on the matter.

  1. He quit on his team. The Team. TEAM!
  2. He just didn’t have it anymore, and that’s fine.

There’s a third consideration here. What Davis did is actually kind of awesome. It’s kind of the American dream for a lot of people, a working class fantasy, the chance to walk off your steady job that makes you miserable ... taking care to not just burn the bridge with your employer, but to napalm the shit out of that bridge on your way out the door, middle fingers waving, while your coworkers applaud.

Davis did not retire at halftime because he was fed up with working for the Bills. That’s what it looked like at the time to everyone but Davis and his coaches. Davis left the game because his body just couldn’t take it anymore.

From his official statement:

But today on the field, reality hit me fast and hard: I shouldn’t be out there anymore.

I meant no disrespect to my teammates and coaches. But I hold myself to a standard. Mentally, I always expect myself to play at a high level. But physically, I know today that isn’t possible, and I had an honest moment with myself. While I was on the field, I just didn’t feel right, and I told the coaches, ‘I’m not feeling like myself.’

Football requires a player to sacrifice his body, his long-term health. Because of that, you can’t fault a player for knowing when to walk away from it, whether that happens at age 41, 25 or at halftime in a one-sided loss to Philip Rivers and the Chargers.

And as awkward as it must have been for the rest of his Bills teammates and coaches, I have to put some respect on Davis’ name for recognizing that fact and being honest about it.

I also wondered: Do I want to keep sacrificing?

And truthfully, I do not because the season is long, and it’s more important for me and my family to walk away healthy than to willfully embrace the warrior mentality and limp away too late.

As the league continues to grapple with the health crisis faced by its players, the lesson from Davis about knowing when to ditch the “warrior mentality” and be honest about your body and the game — no matter what fans, owners, coaches and teammates think — is just as important to players living longer, healthier lives as rule changes aimed at taking the most dangerous hits out of the sport.

But, again, let’s also not overlook the fact that Davis recognized this very thing in the middle of a damn game and made his decision on the spot. That’s impressive as hell.

Health and safety aside, knowing when you have to bail and pulling the ripcord, timing be damned, takes commitment and brutal honesty. Most people will never get the chance to do that. Most people can’t afford to do that, which is what damn near started a riot in a crowded Buckhorn Bar when I watched Johnny Paycheck close with his opus, “Take this job and shove it,” during a show there a long, long time ago.

No experience feels the same as quitting a job, especially when you do it unexpectedly. It’s an act of self determination that comes around only rarely thanks to the constraints of society and cultural norms (and also a lot of bullshit with the Darwinistic programming of American capitalism).

We get trapped in jobs because of that. If it’s not the brutal financial reality most people face, then it’s something the mentality of not quitting whatever the cost ... or a combination of both.

Hence the fantasy of walking into the boss’ office, shouting “WU TANG MOTHER FUCKER!” and walking out the door. We want to do it because we can’t.

My point here isn’t to clamor for more union representation, sharper teeth for OSHA enforcement, a better social safety net or whether or not Davis was right or wrong leaving the game the way he did.

I just want to applaud Vontae Davis for living out the dream.

14 Sep 16:47

Glad marketing stunt at Giant restaurant dinner for social media influencers leads to ethics controversy

by Nick Kindelsperger, Joseph Hernandez
IKEA Monkey

hm. This is kinda shady.

On Monday, Giant hosted an invite-only dinner dubbed Three Moons. Attendees included a few people in the media and some social media influencers over two seatings. At the end of the first one, the final course arrived covered in Glad Press'n Seal. The guests were told that everything they had eaten...

14 Sep 16:22

Chase Sapphire Card Users Can Earn 60,000 Points by Opening a Checking Account

by Alicia Adamczyk on Two Cents, shared by Alicia Adamczyk to Lifehacker
IKEA Monkey

Yeah but you need $75,000 in deposits in order to qualify *makes jerk-off motion with hand*

In a bid to draw in wealthier millennial clients, Chase is offering Sapphire card holders (Reserve or Preferred) who open a bank account 60,000 bonus points, worth up to $900 in travel money reports CNBC.

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14 Sep 16:20

Two K-Pop Stars Came Out As Dating, And Their Label Fired Them 

by Hazel Cills
IKEA Monkey

WHAT?? HyunA! She's awesome!! Let her date!!

Two South Korean pop idols, singer HyunA and rapper E’Dawn who performed together in the group Triple H, are currently dating. But their record label isn’t into that, so they fired them.

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14 Sep 16:04

I Did Not Buy 6,500 Pairs Of Nikes To Send To The Dump, But Thousands Of Idiots Think I Did

by Stefan Heck on Deadspin, shared by Megan Reynolds to Jezebel
IKEA Monkey

The internet was a mistake

First off, let’s get something out of the way: I did not purchase $1.3 million dollars’ worth of Nike Air VaporMaxes (White/Varsity Purple/Metallic Silver/Aqua, size 9.5) with the intent of shipping them to the Glendale city dump.

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14 Sep 14:33

Get $10 Off Your Grubhub Order Next Week When You Pay With Venmo

by Emily Price
IKEA Monkey

I cannot remember the last time we GrubHubbed. We've been doing a lot of home cooking lately. Huh. I miss GrubHub, I'm gonna GrubHub it up later.

We order from Grubhub pretty regularly in my house. But until this week it’s not something I knew could happen using Venmo.

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14 Sep 06:25

'Vampire facial' may have exposed spa clients to HIV

13 Sep 21:07

Subway Is Ending The $5 Footlong And Maybe Introducing Paninis?

by Prachi Gupta

When I think of Subway, my fast food restaurant of choice, here’s what I imagine: Yoga mat bread, Jared Fogle, and the incredible five-dollar footlong deal. Only one of these things is good.

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13 Sep 21:06

What Area of Expertise Do You Never Get to Talk About?

by Nick Douglas
IKEA Monkey

Background checks. I know a lot about them. Same with drug tests. It isn't often I get to flex my expertise but there it is.

Today, Ask Reddit users are telling each other about what areas of expertise that they never get to talk about in normal life. Subjects include rocket science, serial killers, Pokemon Go meta strategy, the NFL (as an expat), and “the R-rated parts” of Roman history. We want to hear the same from Lifehacker readers,…

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13 Sep 17:57

Christian Siriano Gets a Little Funky

by Heather
IKEA Monkey

I really like almost all of it!

Not necessarily to great effect?
13 Sep 14:26

Endless Shrimp is Back at Red Lobster

by Q
IKEA Monkey

SHRIMP! HEAVEN! NOW!

Red Lobster's Endless Shrimp promotion makes its annual return this fall and features the restaurant chain's shrimp-based take on nachos--new Crunchy Fiesta Shrimp.

The dish features crispy-fried, tortilla-crusted shrimp topped with three-cheese sauce and house-made pico de gallo. It is one of five different shrimp preparations that you can get unlimited amounts of when you order the Endless Shrimp special.

Other shrimp dishes available for the promotion include:

- New Sesame-Ginger Grilled Shrimp - Grilled shrimp drizzled with sweet soy-ginger sauce and topped with sesame seasoning.
- Garlic Shrimp Scampi - Garlic shrimp scampi broiled in an oven with garlic butter sauce.
- Shrimp Linguini Alfredo - Shrimp in creamy garlic Parmesan sauce on a bed of linguini.
- Hand-Breaded Shrimp - Crispy-fried breaded shrimp served with cocktail sauce for dipping.

You can mix and match the five shrimp dishes. The meal also includes a choice of salad, side, and unlimited Cheddar Bay Biscuits.

Photo via Red Lobster.
Read more at Brand Eating!
13 Sep 14:07

Key witness in casino fraud case found dead in creek

by Bradford Betz
IKEA Monkey

Sure. "Accidental".

A key witness in a casino fraud case, whose body was found floating in a Pennsylvania creek over the weekend, had apparently died of an accidental drowning, the Luzerne County Coroner’s office said on Tuesday.