DarendukesAaaaand Conan O'Brien is in Death Stranding. Wtfuck is going on?
At long last, Conan O’Brien is a video game character. Despite spending decades creating a richly detailed Conan universe—filled with a colorful, varied cast of characters that seems perfectly suited to a sprawling role-playing game—we’ve never been graced with a fully interactive take on the late night show host.…
DarendukesWow. Those are fun to watch.
Billionaire technocrat and Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg visited Capitol Hill yesterday to answer questions regarding Project Libra, the social media monolith’s new foray into cryptocurrency, which is a completely normal sentence that doesn’t blur the lines between reality and Neuromancer. And while, yes, technically …
DarendukesThis will be a good one.
In the ‘80s, a retired Ukranian-American autoworker in Cleveland was thrust into the national spotlight when he was accused of being “Ivan The Terrible,” one of the Holocaust’s most violent and notorious SS guards. Per a number of survivors, John Demjanjuk, a grandfather and respected member of his community, had…
DarendukesStill want to check this show out.
The world of HBO’s Watchmen sequel is a bizarre one that is both contemporary and, technologically speaking, trapped a few decades in the past. So in that regard, it makes sense that the fantastic soundtrack for the show, by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross (of Nine Inch Nails fame, of course), is being launched…
We’ve said it plenty of times around these parts, but it really is true that you can’t will a cult classic into being purely through commitment to weirdness. That being said, Bullets Of Justice is apparently the kind of movie that hears that sort of pronouncement, mutters, “Hold my beer,” and proceeds to slap together…
Enlarge (credit: Obsidian Entertainment)
Fallout Worlds is one of the best... ahem, sorry, I keep slipping with the name. This week's The Outer Worlds is a brand-new game, set in a brand-new universe, but in nearly every way that counts, it's a Fallout game.
For one, the team at Outer Worlds creators Obsidian Entertainment includes team members from the original Fallout's development. That team later stretched its "3D Fallout" wings in 2010 by making the revered Fallout: New Vegas. So much pedigree, plus a late-2018 trailer that looked Fallout as all get-out, set serious expectations for this week's game launch on Windows 10, Xbox One, and PlayStation 4.
Even if you were to start playing Outer Worlds oblivious to those facts, you wouldn't need long to feel a sense of déjà vu. The Bethesda series' trappings, for one, are all over this offline, single-player Obsidian game. Create a character with a wide range of combat and non-combat ratings—and make tough decisions on which of those abilities to spend the most points on. Then dive into a first-person RPG where the game teases a ridiculous number of options and strategies to proceed.
Halloween will soon be here, which means there is no better time of year to enjoy some horror movies. Occams recommends watching the entire Friday the 13th saga, especially Part VII where you'll witness one of the greatest deaths in cinematic history. That's just one of the topics on this episode of Podtoid. The entire crew is here to talk Metal Gear Solid V, Doraemon Story of Seasons, PlayStation 5, Hit and Run, and D'Angelo music. All that, plus Christmas Con, on Podtoid Episode 419.
Today in news that will please David Cronenberg and only David Cronenberg, it is now possible to shroud your smart devices in warm, flabby flesh that just loves being pinched and tickled.
DarendukesDamn! Look at that hog! Eric, does yours hang that low?
After three decades of progressive symptoms, a 43-year-old man from Panama was rushed into emergency surgery with a massively swollen scrotum that hung past the level of his knees and had begun to rot and ooze foul-smelling pus, a team of Texas doctors reports.
CT imaging illustrating impressive scrotal edema and massive inguinal hernia. (credit: Dowd et al.)
Fearing the ravages of gangrene and sepsis—a life-threatening response to infection—the doctors quickly wheeled him to an operating room to try to remove the rotting flesh. Pathologists examining tissue from his scrotum found extensive inflammation and that some of his skin had begun to liquify.
Darendukes“It has the behavior of an animal, it is able to learn.”
neat
In a week that’s given us both an Iowa family whose basement was flooded with blood and some exceptional footage of a whale carcass being devoured by “bone-eating worms and octopus swarms,” the debut of a living blob at the Paris Zoological Park is starting to feel like some dread portent. The signs are appearing one…
GREENSBORO, NC—Urging consumers to enter now for their chance to take home the dental jackpot of a lifetime, toothpaste giant Crest announced a new sweepstakes Friday in which entrants have a chance to win up to 10 million teeth. “Shoppers have a one-in-ten chance of winning small prizes such as a full set of baby…
DarendukesI think its a cool concept, but you still would be connecting a controller. And maybe on a tablet the screen size would be ok, but definitely not on a phone.
Remember the old Xbox "Jump In" ad campaign? Apparently it's back.
Through nearly two decades of Xbox game consoles, Microsoft has never followed Nintendo's and Sony's lead in attempting to create a dedicated portable gaming system. Project Xcloud, which entered a limited public beta test this week, is an interesting end-run attempt at filling in that hole. Instead of downloadable games running locally, you stream games running on powerful remote servers over Wi-Fi. Instead of dedicated hardware, you use the smartphone you probably already own.
After spending a few days playing "portable" Xbox One games at home via Xcloud, we're somewhat warming up to the idea. But there are enough hassles and caveats that we're glad Xcloud isn't serving as a full-on replacement for Microsoft's existing gaming strategy just yet.
After getting approved for the preview, setting up our Xcloud test was as simple as logging in to the free Android app with a Microsoft account and connecting the controller via Bluetooth. There were about 60 seconds of loading when first starting up a game, but much less when switching back to an existing game after briefly moving to another app on the phone.
Darendukeslol
LIVINGSTON, NJ—Warning parents about the dangers of a powerful imagination, RoseArt announced Thursday a recall of all colored pencils after hundreds of children were sucked into magical drawing worlds of their own creation. “We received nearly 800 reports of children being swept up in a vortex of bright colors and…
Darendukeswut
You thought $62,000 in microtransactions was bad? Then you should see what one person spent on a mobile Transformers game.
DarendukesFuck that
Enlarge / "I'm so happy that I didn't hear whatever curse word you just screamed at me during our friendly game of Uno on Xbox Live!" (credit: Future Publishing / Getty Images)
Today, Microsoft announced that it's rolling out filters that will let Xbox Live players automatically limit the text-based messages they receive to four maturity tiers: "Friendly, Medium, Mature, and Unfiltered." That's a long-overdue feature for a major communication platform that's well over a decade old now, but not really anything new in terms of online content moderation writ large.
What's more interesting is a "looking ahead" promise Microsoft made at the end of the announcement (emphasis added):
Ultimately our vision is to supplement our existing efforts and leverage our company efforts in AI and machine learning technology to provide filtration across all types of content on Xbox Live, delivering control to each and every individual player. Your feedback is more important than ever as we continue to evolve this experience and make Xbox a safe, welcome and inclusive place to game.
That's all a bit vague, but The Verge reports on the real thrust of that passage: an effort by the company to "tackle the challenge of voice chat toxicity on Xbox Live." That means leveraging Microsoft's existing efforts in speech-to-text machine-learning algorithms to automatically filter out swear words that might come up in an Xbox Live party chat.
MAPLEWOOD, MN—Touting the product as a revolution in space-saving, 3M released new Command self-adhesive Meat Hooks Friday for the organization-minded serial killers looking to reduce clutter in their lives and workspaces. “Say goodbye to those unsightly piles of corpses and tangles of severed limbs taking up all the…
Darendukeslol
This video of a preacher checking his phone while speaking in tongues is my favorite video on the internet right now pic.twitter.com/I9iqZpCQmF
— deathray 𓁿 (@nuns_on_film) October 1, 2019
People are connecting with this ridiculous video of a preacher checking his phone, and proceeding to groan his ass off. Ever just have those days, where you pull up the phone and can't help but groan endlessly?
Submitted by: (via @nuns_on_film)
DarendukesMake Christianity Great Again
Since the Coachella grounds were blessed with Kanye West’s Easter edition of his Sunday Service, Yeezy Jesus season has been indefinitely approaching. No, Yandhi Jesus is King has yet to come like a thief in the night, but that hasn’t stopped the handful of hypebeasts who found a Bible and a $225 …
Wilford Brimley, bless his heart, decided long ago how diabetes was pronounced and nothing—not even a goddamned medical professional who specializes in the disease—was ever going to change his mind. His Liberty Medical advertisements are immortal works of stubborn word interpretation, showing an actor so confident in…
DarendukesI kinda like that idea.
Earlier this month, Kevin Smith teased that his long-in-the-works third Clerks movie was back on, with original stars Jeff Anderson and Brian O’Halloran on board and the script being completely rewritten from Smith’s original plan. Now, thanks to The Wrap, we know what the new plan is: After having a heart attack,…
The Hollywood Reporter reports tonight that Sesame Street—which has, from its inception, embraced its role of socializing, teaching, and just generally instilling vital survival skills in all the children it was created to serve—has begun working to help kids who have been affected by America’s opioid crisis, and…
Darendukesneat
Enlarge / With Steam's new upcoming feature, dubbed Remote Play Together, you can turn any "local multiplayer" game into a connected experience. (credit: Valve)
On Wednesday, Steam sent a stealth news update to developers about a surprise new feature coming to Steam as soon as October 21: "Remote Play Together." The feature will transform any "local multiplayer" video game into an online one, and it will work by having the primary player stream their game to up to three other friends—meaning that other players won't have to buy a copy to join in.
As of press time, the emailed update has been posted on a Unity development forum, and it spells out how the feature will work, along with how developers can opt in to its upcoming public beta. The news was later confirmed by Valve developer Alden Kroll as authentic. Valve has yet to otherwise post its own announcement.
Once the beta goes live, players can pull up the Steam Overlay (shift + tab on a keyboard) while playing a Steam game with any form of "local multiplayer" support and load their friends list. Once you send a Remote Play Together invite, "it's just like handing a second controller to a friend," according to the Valve email.
Darendukeswut?
Google Stadia’s vice president of engineering Madj Bakar reportedly told Edge that the company’s upcoming cloud streaming game console will have “negative latency,” predicting player button presses to reduce lag.
DarendukesNot the Onion.
Carefully honed stupidity is a powerful marketing commodity—to the point where a company like Taco Bell can forge entire fast food empires out of slapping leftover junkfood dust together in a drawer and then compelling you to dare your buddies to eat it. But while the science of flavor-blasting continues apace is the…
Cat owners—owners of real pets, not the fake headless kind—understand the unique nightmare that only a litter of kittens can wreak upon your home. It’s one of several good reasons why cat owners and animal control services spay and neuter. Last week, though, a particularly frisky feline offered yet another reason why…
DarendukesI like this.
There aren’t many recorded songs that can’t, in 2019, be identified very quickly. The internet has largely replaced the process of asking friends and record shop owners to pass along the name of artists and titles. Taping songs off the radio and hoping to catch their details in time to scribble them down in a cassette…
DarendukesI highly doubt that. I wish they would cancel this show already. The temptation to watch it is always there for me, but it always disappoints me.
For the first time in a long time, The Walking Dead was good last year. To use an appropriate metaphor, it had become a saggy, bloated corpse, but new showrunner Angela Kang gave it new life—with more consistent characters, faster storytelling, and the ability to surprise audiences again. Last night’s season 10…
DarendukesYou guys remember board games?
Jaws and its components.
Welcome to Ars Cardboard, our weekend look at tabletop games! Check out our complete board gaming coverage at cardboard.arstechnica.com.
If I had predicted a brand-new Jaws tabletop game in 2019—one that would actually be excellent—you might have called me crazy. And yet here we are: Jaws the board game is a marvel.
Leave it to the design studio Prospero Hall to resurrect this 44-year-old film in a new cardboard format. This group of designers has been responsible for recent hits such as Horrified, Jurassic Park: Danger!, and even the Funkoverse Strategy Game. They design mass-market titles that bridge the gap between gaming hobbyist and random Target shopper.
Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart) comes out of retirement in Star Trek: Picard, coming soon to CBS All Access.
Star Trek fans have been eagerly awaiting the new series Star Trek: Picard, slated to debut in January 2020. It was first announced at the Las Vegas Star Trek Convention in August 2018, and a nice long trailer just debuted at this weekend's New York Comic-Con. It's practically a Star Trek: The Next Generation reunion, featuring plenty of familiar faces alongside the new cast.
Rumors began swirling about a Picard-centric spin-off series shortly after Star Trek: Discovery showrunner Alex Kurtzmann signed a five-year development deal with CBS to further expand the franchise for its streaming service. One potential snag was whether Patrick Stewart, who created the character, would reprise his role. Kurtzman envisioned a more contemplative tone, describing the series as "a more psychological show, a character study about this man in his emeritus years." The concept was sufficiently unique that Stewart signed on.
"I truly felt my time with Star Trek had run its course," Stewart said at the 2018 convention. But he professed himself "humbled" by the stories from fans about how much the character of Picard and ST:TNG had comforted them during difficult times in their lives. "I feel I'm ready to return to him for the same reason—to research and experience what comforting and reforming light he might shine on these often very dark times." There are ten episodes in the first season, with plans for two additional seasons if the series succeeds.
