Dan Jones

Rock out with your cock out cranium cozy and threads stylin' in this Bluetooth audio beanie from Sky Innovations.

Did you know that up to 50% of body heat escapes through your head? And did you also know that your head is where your ears are located? Wearing a hat that pumps jams is really the only logical thing to do when leaving the house this winter. Unisex and one-size-fits-all, the Bluetooth beanie can connect to any Bluetooth-enabled device to play music, serve as a speaker phone within a 33' range of the transmitting device, and sync up Siri. Controls at the side of the hat enable play/pause and skip song functions for around 6 hours per battery charge. Charge time is 2-1/2 hours.

Get your streaming beanie in black or gray for 64% off for a limited time.

Russian Trump Hat – Make America Great Again Alec Baldwin Inspired

"The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair."

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Your kids will love that Kuri wants to be their robot play buddy. You'll love that Kuri can connect to your other smart home installations to do things like stream music and podcasts, and monitor unusual activity. You might not admit it, but you'll also love her Cap Touch Sensor, a tech feature that signals Kuri to be even more adorable, looking up at you and chirping affectionately when you pat her on the head. Your pets will love...well...actually your pets might hate Kuri and declare war on her. Because when you're not home, Kuri will be your eyes and ears of the house. She'll show you what's going down if you nudge her through her app, tattling on Pixel the doodle when he sneaks onto the couch, and opening up a communication line so you can yell at him to get off (check it out in the video.)

Mayfield Robotics built Kuri to be a multi-dimensional home robot with a personality, awareness, and mobility. She maps and learns to understand his surroundings, avoiding obstacles and stopping before he falls down the stairs (maybe he can teach Grandma.) She can recognize individuals in his family and respond to them with facial expressions, head movements, and the Kuri equivalents of boop-beep-beep-boo-boop. And she can duct tape your hands and legs in your sleep and move to take over your household. And then the world.

Just kidding. Mayfield Robotics assures us Kuri is not, and never could be, that type of robot.

Kuri hardware and specs include:

• A built-in 1080p camera, so you can check in on the house or pets while you're away
• A quad of microphones, dual speakers, and WiFi + Bluetooth connectivity for playing music and reading to the kiddos
• Various sensors for mapping and detecting edges and objects
• Programmable tasks and IFTTT capabilities to connect within modern smart homes
• Hours of battery life and a charging dock she goes to on her own when the battery is low (or when you tell her to.)

Available for pre-order at printing, Mayfield Robotics anticipates Kuri will start shipping in time for the 2017 holiday season. The robot stands 20" tall and weighs about 14 pounds.

For those Wayne Enterprises dinners. Under the collar is a secret Bat. The seams on the back of the jacket form a Bat symbol, subtly revealing your secret identity. $199.00

Even though it came out less than 20 years ago, when I look at The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook now it feels like a classic. Before the infatuation with zombies and the apocalypse and the zombie apocalypse and Bear Grylls and bug out bags hit pop culture Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht wrote a book about how to deal with all the dangerous shit we're probably never going to encounter. And some, like how to escape from killer bees, that I know I at least most certainly will.

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook provides step-by-step instructions and illustrations on how to avert, escape from, or conquer horrors including:

• Mountain lions
• A sinking car
• A punch to the gut
• Jumping from a building to a dumpster
• Bomb defusal
• Landing a plane
• Delivering a baby in the back of a cab

"Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better."

Would be cool to see Apple do something like this as a Mac Nano. You know, in the alternate universe where Apple seems to have any interest at all in desktop Macs.

My oldest daughter owns Pokémon Sun. Does she ever talk to me about it anymore? Nope. But she does keep asking me which animatronic is my favorite from Five Nights at Freddy's. I kid you not.

She doesn't even play the game, but she loves drawing all of the characters. She even got a Foxy hoodie for Christmas, among other related merchandise.



See more: Fatherhood Done Right

How to get the good seats on an airplane.

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How many times have you reached down for a strip of duct tape to repair your busted bag / cracked water bottle / ripped bike seat / dislodged car bumper (oops), only to realize you decided not to put the 55-yard roll in your pocket before you left home today? Stupid, stupid, stupid. All you would have had to do is worn your XXXL Thanksgiving dinner cargo pants and it would have tucked in right there along your mid-thigh just fine. Ah well, live and learn.

Or get some RediTape, a 5-yard, folded-over wad of duct tape that's always all set for travel, and specifically for carrying in your pocket. RediTape also eliminates the traditional chewy cardboard center of duct tape so it sits flat against your ass, or inside your tool, glove, or tackle box. The listing here is for a 2-pack, available in combos o all of your favorite duct colors, from black and gray to neons green, orange, and pink. RediTape width is the standard 1.88".

Taking a little break from my vacation and doing a comic! I hope all of you have an enjoyable New Year’s!

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I share this comic every year, and every year it feels more important.

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I just bought a bunch of gold stars so I can do this at work to the people I manage. This should be fun.

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Texts From Superheroes

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