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11 Apr 14:48

Pearls Before Swine: Saturday, April 11, 2015

Pearls Before Swine
11 Apr 14:31

Attack On Titan 3D Beer Stein

by nayohme

attack on titan 3d beer steinAfter a heavy battle against Titans, it’s nice to relax with a stein of beer!

 

10 Apr 19:21

Comic for 2015.04.10

10 Apr 19:21

Pellet Poppin’ Blues

Pellet Poppin’ Blues

I'd like to think that Mega Man believes he is helping, but all he is really doing is encouraging Pac-Man's gluttonous ways.

See more: Pellet Poppin’ Blues
10 Apr 17:12

Throwback Thursday 



Throwback Thursday 

10 Apr 17:12

Double Hammock Sunbed

Now this is the kind of double-wide I can get on top of. Preferably with my new girlfriend, She-Ra: Princess of Power, all summer long. The canopied sunbed comfortably accommodates two happy loungers, both side-by-side, and with bodies intertwined. Its hammock measures 6'5" x 5'5" and swings gently to and fro on a steel tube frame as we sip margaritas and listen to the Beach Boys featuring John Stamos on drums sing "Kokomo."

The sunbed comes with a polyester canopy to shield those partaking in hammock activities from the sun and also neighbors who should mind their own business, or maybe put a little more effort into finding their own double hammock companion than they are into ogling yours. Hammocks are made of textaline netty fabric and include 2 head rests.

10 Apr 16:14

I Quit: What Really Goes On At Apple

Dan Jones

Wow. I never imagined it could be this bad working for Apple. I doubt that this is the experience of every Apple employee.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

– Steve Jobs, June 12, 2005.

I’ve just escaped the Apple institution. I’ve sent in my resignation, and fled down it’s bright white corridors curated by crass colourful pictures of iPhones past. I handed in my security pass and in return I was able to re-claim my creativity, individuality and free thinking from the secure Apple cloak room.  Finally now, for the first time in two years, I feel light, creative and inspired. I am again an individual with my own creative ideas, perceptions, values and beliefs. It may take me a while, but from what I believe – I’m now able to express such beliefs again. I am no longer part of the collective  iCult machine whose dirty, worn-out, greasy and naive internal mechanisms of bullying, harassment and mind-games push out shiny and polished iPhones every year.

I AM FREE

It is ironic that one of the world’s largest companies and one that prides itself on innovation, creativity and ‘breaking the mould’, operates on such soul limiting entrenched dogma. It’s an organised boys club where perception is valued over substance and tenure over talent. I spent two years in the Apple camp managing customer service improvement for their technical support contact centres and out of the fifteen plus years working in this industry I’ve never witnessed so many bizarre and unprofessional things, only some of which I have time to touch on here.

IMG_2428Apple’s present day mothership

I found Apple to be a sheltered workshop. The common language spoken being passive aggression, sarcasm and Kool-Aid fuelled stories of ‘success’ designed to manipulate and intimidate naive workers who have never experienced corporate life outside the Apple walls.

Like the Chinese emperors believed the forbidden city in Beijing was the centre of the universe and constructed their empire around it, I’m sure that some people at Apple feel the same… Is it a coincidence that the new Apple Campus looks like a giant spaceship? Maybe the plan is for everyone to drink poisoned ‘kool-Aid’ before ascending to the mothership… Sounds like I got out just in time.

cropped-Forbidden-City-1-of-1.jpgThe Forbidden City: The centre of the ‘known’ ancient universe An artist's rendition of the new Apple 'Mothership'An artist’s rendition of the new Apple ‘Mothership’. Centre of the Apple Universe

Even after-work beers were a strange affair. Drinks with colleagues revolved around the same stories told again and again as drunken management spoke of times when Apple executives made ‘strategic’ decisions to cut jobs and shut down Apple sites so swiftly and carelessly. Like boy-scouts around a campfire, employees eyes would glow and twinkle at this notion of power and embrace these stories with awe but with utter disrespect for the actions Apple has on the broader community of contractors, vendors, partners, resellers and business partners they have bent over a barrel of non-profitability. Remarks such as “… to make a decision that affects so many lives and so many jobs so quickly like that shows the sheer level on which they (Apple executive management) operate… Amazing” were common dialogue around Friday beers. In my opinion a monkey can cut jobs, but at Apple the strangest things are revered.

At Apple HQ - 1 Infinite Loop, Cupertino, California USAMe at Apple HQ – 1 Infinite Loop, Cupertino, California USA

Sixteen hour days are filled with meetings after meetings followed by more meetings. Whilst this is somewhat standard in most organisations, meetings at Apple wreaked of toxic agendas designed to deliberately trip people up, make fools of the less respected and call people out. Team spirit is non existent as ‘internal customers’ attack individuals and push agendas that satisfy their morning egos. Hours upon hours were wasted in meetings to prepare for meetings in preparation for other meetings to the point where little work actually got done. These rehearsals – called ‘dry runs’ (to me it sounds like something you’d pick up from South East Asian street food) – were meetings to refine impressions and push agendas… how to get the impressions right. How to bend, twist and polish data to tell the story you were instructed to tell… Not the reality the data presents. If a story can’t be forged, the data is excluded.

I had organised a day off recently where all my family were visiting me from interstate. Despite this I had agreed to dial in to one conference call as the audience attending was ‘important’. Well it seems Important but disrespectful, as the audience never even turned up, yet I was still made to ‘dry-run’ the whole meeting from start to finish for an hour and a half as if there was full attendance and interest in what I was saying. So, as the food I had prepared for my family went cold, there I was stuck on the phone role-playing a fake menial meeting to satisfy managements ego.

Sickness, family emergencies, and even weddings are given no respect at Apple. When I started my role I missed one business trip as my wife was pregnant, fell down the stairs and had to be hospitalised – this was listed as a ‘performance issue’ on my record and brought up during a one on one with management as a major ‘miss’ on my behalf. Meetings at midnight were also common place where I was always asked to present something menial (again to be seen), however even then I wasn’t allowed to simply speak to my topic but instead I was fed scripts by management though instant message with countdowns included about how long I had left to speak (“1 min 30 secs left”… “too long…”, “wrap it up”…). In recent weeks I contracted a nasty incapacitating mosquito born virus and was hospitalised for a short time. However, rather than receiving support, I was emailed a presentation to my hospital bed with a note that it needed to be completed ‘urgently’. Even on the very morning of my wedding I was still being harassed by phone and email to send a report someone had lost.

Management were inconsistent, moody and erratic. I’d often receive aggressive chats at all hours, and harassing texts every fifteen minutes asking “are you online? Your status shows you as away – are you there?”. I received rude voicemails on my phone when I was one minute late to a meeting and was harassed about my ‘Australian work ethic’ with management out of Singapore even commenting that Australians are ‘unfriendly’ and that we ‘only like to work with other Australians’.

At this point It all got too much and I was at breaking point. So, I reached out in confidence to an Apple executive. This respected senior manager  told me there was nothing to complain about and to “put on my big boy pants”. I was then threatened if I ever raised such issues again, it would be a “very different conversation” Words like ‘pressure’ kept getting thrown at me in the context of I can’t handle the pressure and “you were told at the interview it’s high pressure”.

In reality, Apple is by no means the most pressure I’ve experienced in my career… Not even close. My response was simple. I used to be a police officer. I’ve held a gun aimed at a dangerous offenders head and had to choose whether or not to pull the trigger. For the record – I didn’t – however my point is I think deciding the fate of someone’s life is a little more stressful than call centre customer satisfaction.

Yet after all this, simply raising concerns about management has got me nothing but retaliation from all involved.

Disgusting, Apple…. Disgusting.

Before I resigned they were clutching at straws to find reason to performance manage me. However all they could come up with were some missed reporting deadlines (which had been agreed on and communicated with management) and the fact that I had rescheduled some meetings… Seems a little desperate to me.

Ironically, looking back – none of these items nor any of the stress and pressure were urgent… Not a single instance. All of it was deliberately manufactured mind games… I was told once that management spent a day deliberately dialling in late to all our conference calls for the whole day to ‘test’ who would ‘take the initiative’ to message them that they were late for a meeting?!? Very, very strange indeed but just another day in the life of Apple mind games that goes on behind the shiny, glossy ‘retina’ public display that Apple presents.

For a company that claims to enhance people’s lives through technology – they know nothing about life. Nothing at all.

I’m disheartened as I loved Apple. I loved their products and I’ve been an advocate for what the allegedly stand for. Unfortuntely I’ve seen behind their glossy and polished stainless steel exterior, I’ve walked through their frosted glass doors and seen a toxic culture of manipulation, intimidation, threats and politics that are so incongruent to the values they preach.

As Steve Jobs said – Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. Thanks Steve, I choose to follow your advice.

tumblr_m2sjhzDfps1qexbmho1_500

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09 Apr 17:24

Never

by Lunarbaboon
Dan Jones

We've got our anatomy scan next week. We'll find out if we're having a wookie!

09 Apr 15:33

Big Big Body Wipes

Big Big Body Wipes are for those who have just taken a giant s...print. Through the mud. Or an enormous d...unk. In slimy water. The supersized wet naps cater to anyone who has messed himself in big, big way. Forget about those paper square singles from the rib shack and back-of-the-toliet dispensers prevalent in households with children and the incontinent. Who wants a wimpy little wipe that barely even covers a wimpy little baby's backside? Big Big Body Wipes are MAN-sized wipes. At a whopping 4' long x 2' wide, they are nearly as large as a bath towel, and packed with a shower's worth of cleanliness and sanitation for times when no shower is handy.

Big Big Body Wipes are sold in packs of 2, and ideal for use in between pickup games and post-pickup game pints, during camping trips, while traveling to locations whose bathing facilities appear to carry a flesh-eating disease, and at summer festivals. One for you, one for the overripe hippy to your left.

09 Apr 13:42

17 Baby Names You Didn't Know Were "Totally Made Up"

by Laura Wattenberg


Want to drive the baby-naming public up the wall? Tell them you're naming your daughter Renesmee. Author Stephenie Meyer invented the name for the half-vampire child in her wildly popular Twilight series. In the story it's simply an homage to the child's two grandmothers, Renee and Esmé. To the traditional-minded, though, Renesmee has become a symbol of everything wrong with modern baby naming: It's not a "real name." The author just made it up, then parents followed in imitation of pop culture.

All undeniably true, yet that history itself is surprisingly traditional.

Writers have always made up names, and thank goodness. Our naming culture is much the richer for their inventions. Shakespeare in particular introduced many names we now consider classics, and centuries of writers have followed in his footsteps. Renesmee may or may not end up joining the name canon, but remember that the names below were all just as "made up" once upon a time.

[Note for sticklers: Each of the writers below is credited with using the name inventively -- as a coinage rather than a recycling of a familiar name -- and with introducing the name to the broader culture. Scattered previous examples of usage may exist, since name creativity isn't limited to writers.]

Wendy. Wendy looks like a nickname, and may have occasionally been used as one. But we know it today entirely via Peter Pan. Author J.M. Barrie named his Wendy after a childhood nickname "fwendy-wendy" ("friend").

read more

08 Apr 18:36

Operating Systems

Dan Jones

It's nice to see that GNU/HURD will eventually happen.

One of the survivors, poking around in the ruins with the point of a spear, uncovers a singed photo of Richard Stallman. They stare in silence. "This," one of them finally says, "This is a man who BELIEVED in something."
08 Apr 18:34

Air Vent Hidden Safe with RFID Lock

Dan Jones

Incredibly clever (and expensive).

Tough tamales if you're looking for air circulation this summer, but here at least your cash, Glock, and Chewbacca bandolier signed by all passengers of the Millennium Falcon will be hidden away and protected. It's Quick Safe's air vent compartment, and in addition to thwarting would-be thieves with its simple HVAC disguise, the safe is also equipped with Radio Frequency ID technology. That means, unlike other covert hideaways that take the form of standard shaving cream cans, or even secret shelving units, only your included RFID card hovered over the vent sensor at the top center of the grille will grant access to it.

Unlocked, the air vent hinges open for valuable access and storage. Quick Safe says the safe is easy to install, and fits between 2 x 16" center studs. Instructions are included.

Muchas danke to Manny for the Dude Product Tip.

08 Apr 16:10

The Brontosaurus is back, baby!

by Jason Kottke
Dan Jones

What?!? I'm so torn. My 12-year-old self can't handle this emotional roller coaster.

Brontosaurus

After years of the Flintstones lying to me, I'd just gotten used to the idea of the Brontosaurus not actually being a dinosaur. But a recent study of the classifications given to various species and genera within the diplodocid group of dinosaurs has determined that the Brontosaurus and the Apatosaurus are different enough to be two separate species.

Very broadly, their tree confirmed established ideas about the evolutionary relationships among diplodocids. But the scientists also concluded that Apatosaurus and Brontosaurus were different enough to belong in their own genera. Many of the anatomical differences between the two dinosaurs are obscure, Tschopp says, but Apatosaurus's stouter neck is an obvious one. "Even though both are very robust and massive animals, Apatosaurus is even more so," he adds.

Tschopp and his team thought very carefully about their decision to reinstate Brontosaurus, and they expect some pushback. "We knew it would be a major finding because Brontosaurus is such a popular name," he says. "I'm pretty sure there will be a scientific discussion around this. I hope there will be. That's how science works."

Huzzah! Now reinstate Pluto to full planetary status and we'll be all set. See also The Kindly Brontosaurus. (via @coudal)

Tags: dinosaurs   science
08 Apr 15:25

Photo



08 Apr 13:12

Beautiful song



Beautiful song

08 Apr 13:12

damnthatswhack:Well now all of them are gonna be right...



damnthatswhack:

Well now all of them are gonna be right answers

I’m definitely going to start using the word “Shamecation”

08 Apr 13:10

The Walking Dead Deaths & Kills Infographic

Dan Jones

Some minor spoilers, if you haven't watched the last month.

The Walking Dead Deaths & Kills Infographic

 


Imgur user MorbidMalignant made a ton of detailed Walking Dead infographics which reveal who's alive, dead or unaccounted for, the highest body count of specific episodes and the kill counts of the main characters (zombies and humans). There's even more details here.

The Walking Dead Deaths & Kills Infographic

The Walking Dead Deaths & Kills Infographic

The Walking Dead Deaths & Kills Infographic

By: MorbidMalignant

(via: Geek Tyrant)

Follow us on:
 

April 07 2015
08 Apr 04:37

Jeb Bush Registered As 'Hispanic' On His 2009 Voting Form

Dan Jones

So, by marrying a Mexican, that makes him Hispanic?

Since my wife is half-black, does that mean I'm African-American?

7:14 am ET 7:14 am ET

Alan Rappeport

Photo

In a 2009 voter-registration application, obtained from the Miami-Dade County Elections Department, Jeb Bush said he was Hispanic.

In a 2009 voter-registration application, obtained from the Miami-Dade County Elections Department, Jeb Bush said he was Hispanic.Credit Joe Raedle/Getty Images

There is little doubt that Jeb Bush possesses strong credentials for appealing to Hispanic voters.

He speaks fluent Spanish. His wife, Columba Bush, was born in Mexico. For two years in his 20s, he lived in Venezuela, immersing himself in the country’s culture.

Mr. Bush, a former Florida governor and likely presidential candidate, was born in Texas and hails from one of America’s most prominent political dynasties. But on at least one occasion, it appears he got carried away with his appeal to Spanish-speaking voters and claimed he actually was Hispanic.

In a 2009 voter-registration application, obtained from the Miami-Dade County Elections Department, Mr. Bush marked Hispanic in the field labeled “race/ethnicity.”

A Bush spokeswoman could offer no explanation for the characterization.

Carolina Lopez, deputy supervisor of elections for Miami-Dade, said voters must submit hard copies of applications with a signature before receiving a voter information card confirming their address and polling location. According to the Florida Division of Elections, the application requires an original signature because the voter is swearing or affirming an oath.

Florida law requires that the signature, driver’s license number and social security number be redacted before being publicly released.

While Mr. Bush’s claiming to be Hispanic may have been a careless mistake, confusion over heritage is no laughing matter during a campaign season.

During her Senate campaign in 2012, Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts was accused of misrepresenting herself as Native American. Senator Ted Cruz of Texas has had to explain his birth in Canada.

As for Mr. Bush, whom Univision called a “Hispanic candidate” this year, his outreach to Hispanic voters is unlikely to be deterred. With any luck, it will not go to his head again.

First Draft provides fast-paced and comprehensive coverage of politics and elections by The New York Times. Come back throughout the day for the latest news and analysis, and be part of the political conversation.


Like it? Hate it? Have a tip for us? Send any and all feedback to firstdraft@nytimes.com.

We send out a newsletter around 7 a.m. eastern time each weekday that serves as a look-ahead to the day's political events and expected stories.

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07 Apr 16:07

Pearls Before Swine: Tuesday, April 07, 2015

Pearls Before Swine
07 Apr 02:16

Sports

by tga

sports

06 Apr 22:12

Mindy Kaling's brother: I got into medical school by pretending to be black

Mindy Kaling's brother: I got into medical school by pretending to be black:
He isn’t sorry, and remains a vocal critic of race-based affirmative action.
06 Apr 18:45

The Mobile Bundle makes its return with Humble Mobile Bundle 11!


The Humble Mobile Bundle 11 runs for two weeks before losing its signal on Monday, April 20, 2015 at 11 a.m. Pacific time.

06 Apr 16:56

Coloring books for adults

by Jason Kottke

The two top-selling books on Amazon right now are a pair of coloring books for adults by Johanna Basford: Enchanted Forest and Secret Garden.

Basford Coloring Book

Basford Coloring Book

Basford Coloring Book

Fans of the books have been posting examples of their coloring-in online; this one is from occasionalartist:

Basford Coloring Book

What This Says™ about contemporary culture is left as an exercise to the reader. Right after you finish coloring your flowers, of course.

Tags: Amazon   books   Johanna Basford
06 Apr 15:26

Comic for 2015.04.06

06 Apr 12:58

An Easter CLASSIC



An Easter CLASSIC

06 Apr 12:58

How To Enable Chrome’s Hidden Tab Mute Feature

by Joey-Elijah Sneddon

tab muteThe tab audio indicator in Chrome can do more than simply show you which tab is playing sound. A hidden option turns the icon into a clickable mute button.

The article How To Enable Chrome’s Hidden Tab Mute Feature was first published on OMG! Chrome!

06 Apr 12:56

Tentsile Trillium Hammock

You might have previously seen another of Tentsile's hanging dens, the Stingray tree tent, around here. The Trillium hammock shares the Stingray's dangling disposition, with more portability, more variable usage options, and a much lower price point.

Take the Trillium hammock along for overnight camping in the summer, or just strap it to trees in your back yard or at the beach for a lazy day of being lazy under the sun. Its unique triangular shape can accommodate up to 3 grown ass men (as pictured), plus can be stacked up to 3 times underneath a Stingray to create what will surely become the answer to the growing camping density problem: tent high-rises.

Trillium hammocks are also useful in extending the space of an existing tree tent since they can store extra gear, shoes, dogs, or wet items.

Available in green fabric or black mesh the Trillium hammock is reinforced by over 20 meters of seatbelt and secured via heavy duty ratchets and webbing. It measures 15' x 15' x 15', providing 80 square feet of surface space. Weight is 13 pounds.

05 Apr 12:26

Photo



05 Apr 11:54

Photo

Dan Jones

They've done this one before, but it always makes me laugh.



05 Apr 11:53

WTF Prank Candles

WTF does using the term "WTF" in reference to a candle mean? In a nutshell: "Mmmm, this smells incredible! Just like the apple pie my grandma used to make with the shortbread crust and the....gaaaaasssspppp!. W...T...F...is that smell?! Is that...is that...dirty farts?!" Yessir, it is. I mean, unless it's sweaty gym socks or stank breath, one of WTF Candles' other n-ass-ty scents that suddenly ass-aults your nasal p-ass-ageways.

Like many women (my She-Ra: Princess of Power excluded), WTF Candles start out sweet, and then 25% into your relationship with them, turn unbearably suffocating and rank for the remaining 75% of their burn time. Commonly called layered or switch scent candles, some companies produce these lovely and sensual gift items as a way to give yourself, a friend, or a loved one multiple delightful aromas in one. But not WTF Candles. WTF Candles stirs shit up a little, craft their candles especially for use in pranks or, even better, revenge.

Select one of 5 sweet-to-stank candles and you'll be able to have it shipped to yourself for appropriate distribution, or...or!...send it anonymously to your arch nemesis. Such as, for example, She-Ra: Princess of Power's evil ex-boyfriend. He comes from France. WTF Candles promises they won't ever reveal the source of the special delivery, though as an option, 60 days after your purchase they will send your victim a postcard that reads, "WTF was in that candle?"

They selected 60 days as the posting date because each candle should burn for about 30 hours, and 25% of the burn time emits the good-smelling stuff. Still, since when candles burn the middle sinks first (with the sides still layered with a good:stank ratio), in 3 to 4 hours the WTF should make an appearance, and by 8 to 10 hours, it's reigning supreme.

WTF Candle flavors include: Baby Powder to Dirty Baby Diaper; Apple Pie to Dirty Fart; Clean Laundry to Sweaty Gym Socks; Coffee to Stank Breath; and Fresh Forest Pine to Skunk Ass.