firehose

 
Banksy in NY   ( photo via )

At a recent 24-hour comics challenge at Mission: Comics & Art in San Francisco, artist and yo-yo master Doctor Popular created “The Developer,” a 24-page comic about a radioactive cocktail glass and a villainous property developer. It can be read online on Emanata. You can also watch him make the comic from start to finish in this time-lapse.

Former UC Davis officer John Pike, famous for casually pepper spraying a group of students in the face during a 2011 protest, was awarded a $38,000 settlement for psychiatric injuries for the way he was treated afterwards.

A firestorm ensued after Jorge Cortell, CEO of a healthcare software company called Kanteron Systems, tweeted a photo of a woman’s towering stilettos at an entrepreneur-investment conference in New York on Tuesday with the following commentary: “Event supposed to be for entrepreneurs, VCs, but these heels (I’ve seen several like this)… WTF? #brainsnotrequired” Mr. Cortell was hotly accused of sexism, particularly after the ValleyWag blog ran an item on it. People were shocked, shocked, that anyone might appear to suggest that a woman wearing five-inch-high black stiletto platform heels could be calling attention to something other than her brain. The two-day tweet-convo slid from sublime to ridiculous when Mr. Cortell argued that he wasn’t referring to sex at all. Heel wearers are dumb because heels are unhealthy for their feet and backs, he tweeted, repeatedly, until Twitter briefly suspended his account. “High-heels = bad health choice = dumb,” he tweeted.

A chain of evidence unearthed by Daniel Terdiman of CNET suggests that a massive, four-story structure floating on a barge off Treasure Island in San Francisco Bay is owned by Google and may be a floating data center.

No one knows for sure what the structure contains or who owns it, but the balance of the evidence suggests that it’s a real-world implementation of a floating data center first patented by Google in 2009.

There are a number of reasons Google might want to build a floating data center, including the ability to bring the massive computing power required to power Google’s search and other services as close to the places where it’s used as possible. Ocean water provides a natural source of coolant for a data center, and cooling is such a critical issue in data centers that companies like Facebook have started building them above the arctic circle.

We’ve contacted Google for comment.

"Beer. Dance floor. Shot bar. Food truck. Girls." Nerds. Obliviousness. Poor judgment. Skewed cultural views. Social regression. Bros. MySQL. Crushing it. A party atmosphere combined with everything that makes the rest of the world hate you, Silicon Valley: this party is not smart.

Janelle Monáe's music is crazy and cool, an extraterrestrial brand of live-wire R&B and future-funk that's beamed straight down from outer space. She's a remarkable live performer, and she's coming on Tuesday (October 29) to the Roseland for a show that's not to be missed. And we're giving away two pairs of tickets to the show!

To enter, send an email to this address with "Send me to see Janelle!" in the subject line. Please include your first and last name in the email. We'll select two winners at random and send them on their ways to Monáe's mind-blowing extravaganza. This contest closes at noon on Monday (October 28), so don't delay!

In the meantime, check out Monáe's latest video, for "PrimeTime" featuring Miguel, coming off her new album The Electric Lady. And contest non-winners can head on over here to buy a ticket for Tuesday's show.

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For decades, education reformers in the US have championed the establishment of charter schools, public schools empowered to operate outside the control and union work rules of traditional public school districts. Charters have generated noisy debates and relatively modest results. The latest report from the Center for Research on Education Outcomes found statistically significant benefits for some students, reversing findings from a similar study in 2009. But the gains are nothing to write home about.

Still, the schools are gaining traction. More than 2 million American kids attended them in the 2012-13 school year, that’s 4.6% of the total student population, according to Moody’s analysts. And their growth has real implications outside of the classroom, too.

Municipal finance analysts at Moody’s recently took a look at the impact of charter school growth on public finances, finding “while the vast majority of traditional public districts are managing through the rise of charter schools without a negative credit impact, a small but growing number face financial stress due to the movement of students to charters.”

Moody’s found that charter schools have had particularly painful impacts on aging independent school districts in the midwest and northeast, where shrinking tax bases and population outflow make it tough to absorb the loss of government funding that occurs when enrollment shrinks due to students shifting into charter schools. Cutting costs to match declines in funding can be difficult, as decisions to close schools—even if they are half empty—can result in fierce political fights. And decisions to cut academic programs can actually exacerbate funding problems further by spurring still more students to leave for charter schools.

“It’s sort of a negative feedback loop,” said Michael D’Arcy, one of the Moody’s analysts who wrote the report.

It’s important to note that this loop doesn’t happen wherever there are charter schools. In areas such as the south and the west, where overall population and enrollment numbers are on the upswing, school district finances haven’t been badly dented by charter school growth.

But Moody’s analysts say charter schools have played a definite role in some high-profile instances of municipal stress lately. In July, Moody’s cut its ratings on Philadelphia School District bonds, citing—in part—charter school dynamics. (Philadelphia’s school district has been facing its worst financial crisis in memory.) And Detroit Public Schools—separate from the city government that filed for bankruptcy protections back in June—also saw its ratings axed by Moody’s over the summer. It’s an illustrative case. Moody’s analysts wrote:

A 25% population contraction between 2000 and 2010 led to a drop in enrollment from nearly 160,000 students in 2002 to less than 67,000 in 2012, a 58% decline. These losses include a loss of students to charter schools and have resulted in a steady reduction in state aid. The district received $1.2 billion in state aid in 2002, accounting for 75% of General Fund revenues; by 2012, it received $495 million, or 55.4% of revenues. General Fund revenue overall fell by 44% over the same period. Although district management was proactive in reducing annual expenditures, the decline in revenue outpaced the decline in expenditures, resulting in the district running operating deficits for most of the past ten years.

FORT WAYNE, IN—Lamenting that there are only so many hours in the day to devote to his various stresses, local Epione Medical Instruments sales manager and father of two Dale Humphrey told reporters Friday that he continues to have difficulty striki...

Bishop Fox:

Intro reconfigures your iOS device (e.g. iPhone, iPad) so that all of your emails go through LinkedIn’s servers. You read that right. Once you install the Intro app, all of your emails, both sent and received, are transmitted via LinkedIn’s servers. LinkedIn is forcing all your IMAP and SMTP data through their own servers and then analyzing and scraping your emails for data pertaining to…whatever they feel like.

LinkedIn is offering to take control of iOS devices via MDM security profile to set themselves as a rewriting-proxy email server under the guise of a cool new feature that millions of people will probably install. Technically, you could argue that this is opt-in, but it has massive security ramifications beyond what users should be expected to predict or understand.

Apple better already be paying attention to this. While it’s within the technical capability of iOS MDM profiles, it’s almost certainly violating the spirit of any common-sense rules or standards. Apple probably has enough of a relationship with LinkedIn, and enough power with the App Store, to wield a big stick and eliminate Intro without any technical changes to the profile system.

But what happens when using profiles for non-security, non-enterprise features becomes widespread? Won’t Google, Facebook, Twitter, and just about every social or ad-supported service want the same access to make it easier to mine your private data, spam your contacts, and evade App Store restrictions? It won’t be hard for the big services to come up with compelling features and friendly messaging to get millions of people to install their profiles, too.

And isn’t this a huge malware risk?

Apple needs a generalized solution to this problem quickly. The big question is whether they can do anything substantial about the profile system without causing issues for legitimate enterprise use¹ — I don’t know enough about it to say.

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Deadspin We're So Sorry, London | Gawker Shepard Smith's Office Romance: A 26-Year-Old Fox Staffer | Jalopnik You Have To Be Insane To Build Your Own Submarine | Lifehacker 7 Things I Wish I Had Known Before Getting Married

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The designers at OgilvyOne Athens have designed a bra that posts a tweet on Twitter every time it is unhooked. Happily, it's not a tweet to your mom, explaining you're possibly about to fornicate, but rather it sends a message to @TweetingBra, where it reminds its followers to perform monthly breast self-examinations.

Read more...

Based on the current popularity of witches (see: American Horror Story: Coven and Witches Of East End), supernatural and fairy-tale dramas (see: Sleepy Hollow, Grimm, Once Upon A Time), and just remaking old TV shows instead of coming up with new ones (see: approximately the years 2007 to present), CBS is reportedly considering a reboot of Charmed. According to Vulture, the network—which owns the rights to all of Aaron Spelling’s old shows—has ordered a pilot script for an update of the drama that aired for eight seasons on the WB, back when that was still a thing, drafting Party Of Five co-creator Chris Keyser and partner Sydney Sidner to “re-imagine” the series (presumably while they wait for word of an increasingly inevitable Party Of Five reboot).

There’s nothing beyond that script order at present, though it’s obvious why CBS would be interested, besides all the ...

Read more

FAIRFAX, VA—In the wake of Monday’s tragic Nevada school shooting in which a 12-year-old student killed a teacher and wounded two classmates, representatives from the National Rifle Association pushed for all teachers around the country to kee...

Realising there is noticeably low numbers of women in all levels of internet governance, and even internet use, a group of altruistic businesses set out to increase women’s participation. How? They added a beauty pageant. Miss Internet 2013.

http://i.imgur.com/2i97ZIH.gif

Original Source

A Buncombe County Republican precinct chairman has been asked to resign after making "offensive" comments on "The Daily Show."

The 2002 film Drumline is a film that doesn't feature a single second of sports (push-ups don't count as a sport), yet it is pretty much the epitome of what you would cobble together if you were building a sports movie from the ground up. Think about the standard sports movie. There's an underdog, or perhaps a maverick who Plays By His Own Rules. There's a big, scary antagonist that the main character -- or that main character's team -- will have to defeat. Along the way, you've got training montages, ups and down, conflicts, a nadir before the final confrontation and you better be damn sure there's at least one inspirational speech.

Now make that movie about some tubas. That's Drumline. Let's explore it together, shall we?

The movie begins with us being introduced to Devon Miles, played by Nick Cannon, who was somewhere between 18 and 20 when the movie was filmed but looks like he's between 10 and 15. The first shot of the film is a crane shot from overhead into a close-up. Basically every third shot in this film is a crane shot. And I'm not even getting into the aspect ratio, which is supposedly 2.35:1 but it looks like it was filmed with Geordi La Forge's visor.

After receiving his high school diploma, Devon is onstage as part of the school orchestra, playing a dirge-like rendition of "I Believe I Can Fly" that the student body looks completely bored with. The band looks even more bored with it.

They're dumb, because slow versions of R. Kelly songs are the best versions. Devon starts puttin' a little mustard on it, because he's a loose (Nick) cannon who Plays By His Own Rules. The orchestra leader is having none of this.

But since Devon is both a loose cannon AND a wild card, he continues to spice that number the heck up and soon enough the entire student body and even the faculty are picking up what he is laying down. The orchestra leader is powerless to stop this hellacious groove, resorting to breaking the fourth wall in a Flintstones-esque "IT'S A LIVING" reaction shot.

After caps are tossed into the air, Devon cuts short congratulations from his mother to ... go to the subway?

He gives a ticket to his graduation to the ticket-taker, who rightfully points out that a ticket of this sort does not grant him admission upon any train, subway or otherwise. It then becomes clear that this is Devon's (estranged) father, whom was specifically NOT invited to said graduation. He then says that, unlike his father, he's doing something with his music. (Burrrrrnnnnn.) He's gotten a full scholarship to "Atlanta A&T." This is our first big-time introduction to Nick Cannon's Face, which will be see-sawing between looking the smuggest anyone has ever looked and making his mouth really small to indicate he's angry.

"YOU SHOULD BE PROUD. I DID IT WITHOUT YOU."

aw man

And now we're on the bus to Fake School Tech! As the new meat makes their way to "Hot Atlanta" as the locals call it, Devon meets a tuba player and a couple other members of the drumline. They also pass the practice field of A&T's hated rivals, Morris Brown College, which, according to this guy driving the bus whom we never see again, is the best band in the land and constantly wins ... I dunno, regionals or whatever. Let's just say "regionals."

"Hi, I'm your bus driver, Exposition Smith. You can call me Expo!"

After the short bus ride, our four new band buddies are now lifelong friends! They get to campus and immediately begin acting supremely creepy, just straight -up full-arm pointing at women trying to walk through the quad. Here's a group shot of the Justice League of Doofuses (doofii?) caught mid-skeev. Note: this was also a crane shot. They're all crane shots. I think they only rented a crane.

Turns out that Devon is pointing at Laila, who will eventually be his love interest! What luck! That almost never happens at actual college! (But it does happen all the time in sports movies. Well played, Drumline. So far you're batting 1.000! (Sports movie term.)) It should be noted that when Devon approaches her, his game is so nonexistent that it goes beyond "douchechill" and into "I should call campus security" territory. Luckily for him, Laila finds it endearing. Like when a puppy gets its head stuck in a box. "Aw, look, he can barely function!"

Their A&T (keep wanting to type "A&M," but that's an actual college) band upperclassmen tell them to go read the rule book and that they'll all be wearing white T-shirts until they make it through training or whatever, trying to dehumanize them by saying they'll be faceless, interchangeable blank slates. Probably would have been a bigger diss if they said it was to make them look like Tim McGraw. "Here, also wear this stupid leather hat."

They also say to get a good night's sleep because it will be an early morning. But Devon says NOPE LET'S GO TO A CLUB ALL NIGHT because Devon is an idiot who Plays By His Own Rules so everyone should definitely listen to him.

Sure enough, the upperclassmen wake up everyone before 5 a.m. by running down the halls of the dorm banging a bass drum. I really, really hope the band is all in one dorm. How pissed would you be if you were a non-band freshman in that dorm at A&T? Pretty pissed, I'd wager!

So they hustle down to the practice field and another crane shot introduces us to the "coach" of this sports movie, the band director Dr. Lee, who is played by ... Orlando Jones?!?!

Yes, the "Up Yours" guy is the straightlaced by-the-book coach in this sports movie. The guy who was comic relief in an actual sports comedy. But anyway, Dr. Lee LOVES music. Loves it! Look at that rapturous look on his face while that sextet behind him plays "When the Saints Go Marching In!" He says they're all here because they love Coltrane, Miles Davis and Earth, Wind & Fire. Which is weird, because later, the band clearly hates all that stuff, but we're getting off track here.

Dr. Lee delivers his first inspirational speech, which is important in a sports movie. He says this is "one band, one sound." Devon's roommate is late to the practice field, which means Devon is also responsible, because teammatesmanship. Everyone has to run a lap (yes, one lap) and then the training begins. MONTAGE TIME.

The leader of the drumline is Sean Taylor, who immediately acts like an insane creep.

"We are the pulse. And without a pulse, you're dead." Oh, okay. I thought you were just doing kung fu upon me. Trainings happen. Drums are drummed. Horns are tootled upon. Devon and Sean butt heads because Devon is a loose cannon haven't you been paying attention?

Uh-oh, there's a lady on the drumline! Hope she doesn't challenge the new guys' preconceived notions about strength and gender!

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Sean takes the freshmen to where the drums are stored.

"Enjoy it now, because this may be the last time you see a drum." Is ... is he threatening to kill them? Because even if they don't make the -- team? -- they're still musicians, so. You know. They'll probably see a drum again. If you're gonna make hyperbolic threats, at least make that shit sound vaguely realistically threatening.

Devon tries to take a WHITE drum, but white drums are for closers and dammit Devon you're dangerously close to insubordination. Devon Plays By His Own Rules to such an extent that I think he's an honorary police officer. With sexy results? Well, we'll have to wait and see.

The new kids in the band have to run up and down all the steps in the stadium holding their instruments so that we can go ahead and mark that square in our Sports Movie Bingo. Other squares to check off?

- All the kids have to do drills in the rain. For some reason.

- The totes besties forevs ice their aching knees and necks and whatever in the dorm room.

- There's also a convoluted thing where the members of the band are divided into groups P1 through P4, with the supposed criteria that only P1 band peeps get to go on the field, although at the end of the film there are clearly also P2s on the field. There's also a subplot involving Devon's white best friend and how he loses his P2 spot to a P4 challenge, then regains it late in the second act. None of that stuff is really worth going into, although when the guy he challenges at the end drops his mallet, it's presented like the god damn Zapruder film.

- There is a POLITICS CLASH among the higher-ups! Dr. Lee believes in MUSICIANSHIP and the BAND and MUSIC. He thinks Morris Brown College and their well-dressed coach relies on gimmicks like HIP-HOP and SONGS THE CROWD LIKES when it should be about MUSIC THAT MEANS THINGS, like "Flight of the Bumblebee" and "September."

His reliance on NOT PANDERING TO THE CROWDS understandably has him running afoul of the school president or whomever, who is threatening to CUT THE FUNDING to the band next year if Dr. Lee doesn't fall in line. Just gonna put this out there: the president or whomever is probably correct here because probably the main point of a college band is to get the crowd pumped during games. This band is clearly big-time failing at that and it's a direct result of Dr. Lee's song selections. Just gonna suggest to this school president or whomever: firing Dr. Lee is probably a way easier fix than cutting funding to the band. I mean consider the money you've already sunk into the uniforms alone.

But Dr. Lee's clash with whomever is a good time to demonstrate how every person-to-person conflict in this movie is shot. It's a strict back-and-forth shot-matching but DIG THIS MISE-EN-SCENE:

whooooaaaaaa each guy is on a different side of the argument and also a different side of the frame that is like a metaphor of pictures

I mess with director Charles Stone III, because of crane shots and weirdo aspect ratio and one million THIS GUY IS TALKING NOW THIS GUY IS TALKING shot-for-shot scenes. But this movie really does look fantastic most of the time. I mean look at this shot:

That's just pretty. Anyway, back to the movie!

- The non-tuba, non-white BFF (who is wrapped up in another barely-thought-out subplot that should not even exist so I'm not going to discuss it) takes a moment at practice to scope out lady-drummer's rack.

Nice, dude. Real nice. Way to be 18 all over the place. Spoiler: this move ends up working.

Devon is still hitting on Laila, who is part of the dance squad. (Convenient.) He even volunteers to help with some dance moves.

Ha ha oh Devon, you idiot.

Devon keeps showing off, making Sean angry. He neglects to read the rule book, but the last rule in the rule book is "if you don't read this rule book, your head will be shaved." Whoops! Hubris, thy name is Devon. He threatens to walk off the team band, but then decides to OWN THAT SHIT.

Laila is totally smitten with Devon for absolutely no reason, to the extent that she busts out a bad Rosie Perez impression to flirt with him:

And even lends him her VW Bug so he can learn to drive. LAILA NO YOU JUST MET THIS MAN.

Devon aces his official tryout for the team, being flashy as always. He even ends up being a P1, much to the chagrin and opposition of Sean. No freshman has ever made P1 before! Sure he Plays By His Own Rules, but he gets results, you stupid chief!

So like a million years into this movie, there's finally the first game of the season! (Note: no football is shown. Not a play. There are some glimpses of people wearing football uniforms in the foreground of some shots of the band, but the closest this movie comes to showing sports is the scoreboard saying "HALFTIME.") Anyway, Sean and Devon keep getting into it and Sean challenges Devon to play the big solo in the first game, thinking he'll choke and it will humble him. But the main takeaway here is that every sports movie should have a lot of dick-waving smack-talk while wearing this:

Anyway, Devon doesn't choke OR learn his lesson, showing up Sean, making Sean and Dr. Lee super angry and THRILLING AND DELIGHTING both the student body and the president or whomever, who insists Devon play his in-your-face solo at every game forever.

Meanwhile, Devon and Laila's relationship is really heating up. He dance troupe dances at a sorority house party and then, while some other dudes stomp around, they share a super hot and not at all grody kiss.

Sean, who is scrambling for ANYTHING to bring this smug asshole down even the slightest peg, finally figures out that Devon -- gasp -- CAN'T READ MUSIC.

But that's a requirement for playing in the band! He lied to Dr. Lee! He lied to everyone! SOMEONE GET BILL HANCOCK ON THE LINE. Dr. Lee bumps Devon down to a P4 and requires him to take a rudimentary percussion class until he learns to read music. Devon of course considers quitting the team band over this, because Devon is an idiot.

Meanwhile, at Devon's face:

A&T plays against Morris Brown -- literally plays against them, because there sure isn't any footage of the football game. The Morris Brown band plays a bunch of hip-hop favorites that even the A&T band is dancing along to, including possibly the best song of all time to have a marching band play, "Let Me Clear My Throat." Note to everyone in all sports ever: please have "Let Me Clear My Throat" replace "Seven Nation Army." Throw "Seven Nation Army" down the well. Drumline existed in a world before "Seven Nation Army" and god help me, that was a better world.

But the director of Morris Brown knows he's killin' it.

The president or whomever is livid that Devon is not playing the drums and is also livid that Dr. Lee combated the Ed Lover Dance with "Flight of the Bumblebee." Admittedly, Dr. Lee, that was super weak. So Dr. Lee is being pressured into bringing Devon back, is still conflicted about it and finally comes to a decision while watching tape. Yes, in a non-sports movie, the "coach" is watching tape of the band before the next game.

So he brings Devon back and during the next week's drum-off with the opposing team/band/teamband (which they try to establish here is a thing that happens), Devon goes TOO FAR when he strolls up to the other drumline (which is totally rocking the cliche "wear m'bandhat strap under m'nose") and PLAYS THEIR DRUMS.

Devon gets HIT IN THE FACE with a drum and then there is a BAND RUMBLE.

That, finally, mercifully, is the last straw. Laila even chickens out on having her parents meet Devon. THE ULTIMATE INSULT. The band meets in secret, including this like 62-year-old dude we're expected to believe is in college:

And Devon is 86ed. DAMMIT DEVON YOU'RE A LOOSE CANNON. YOU'RE OFF THE BAND. TURN IN YOUR DRUM AND YOUR INABILITY TO READ SHEET MUSIC.

Since this is the most sports movie ever, Devon meets with the band director at Morris Brown, who offers him a scholarship, a spot on the team and a JOB. (SERIOUSLY, HAS SOMEONE GOT THE NCAA ON THE LINE?) And all Devon has to do is give him the top-secret plans that Dr. Lee has for A&T at the BET Big Southern Classic (which is apparently this movie's version of regionals). Devon tells Morris Brown to go screw and he heads back to A&T, where someone has sent him a mysterious package.

Okay, so it's a box from his dad. And it's full of tapes!

You may remember tapes from such things as the 1980s and good lord when were you born? No, shut up, you're making me feel sad and old. Moreso, I mean. Anyway, one of the tapes is his dad's old band, The Ray Miles Funk Connection. (The fact that "Funk Connection" is the funkiest name his dad could come up with should tell you how funky his band was; not very.)

Anyway, the tapes get his drumming juices flowing again (gross) and he heads to the drum lab (not even joking) to lay down these sweet, sweet cadences. While there, he runs into Sean and SMACK TALK IS UTTERED, leading to a final, severe DRUM LAB DRUM-OFF, which ends in DEATH STICK STANDOFF.

/explosion sounds

Sean has finally reached the end of his rope but it turns out that the recorder/printout thing was on both of their drums during the drumoff and starts printing out a transcription of Devon's sweet, sweet, ultra-sweet cadences.

You can't fool me, dude. Those are all Bs and B-flats.

They have finally earned one another's respect. (No, really. They have. Even though Devon hasn't really changed. Go with them on this.) Sean offers to help Devon refine his gift. or whatever. I don't know. I've written like three thousand words at this point and do you know how much time is left in this movie? Wait for it ...

Sean and Devon convince Dr. Lee to let Devon help with the cadences, while not actually technically joining the band again. Dr. Lee finally realizes they've all lost sight of what's important: having fun. THAT IS THE MOST SPORTS MOVIE THING OF ALL. And look how much fun he's having now!

And Devon and Laila make up! Awww, I think those crazy kids are gonna be all right.

Do you know how much time is left in this movie at this point? HALF AN HOUR. 30 minutes. Deep breath, though, because we're in the home stretch.

The BET Big Southern Classic! Stuart Scott is there! THIS IS A SPORTS MOVIE.

Other marching bands play! They are all very good! One of them does this, for some reason:

One of the bands has a dance troupe dressed like this:

Which immediately cuts to this reaction from the horndog judges:

But all these other bands are filler, because we know it's coming down to A&T vs. Robert Morris. But Robert Morris has a ringer! They've brought in a super-successful and huge name rapper to perform with them. Can you guess who it is? It's only the most 2002 name in all of hip-hop. None other than PETEY PABLOOOOOOO

You don't know who Petey Pablo is? He was the one who taught America that shirts can be made to resemble helicopters. He is a national hero and I'll near nothing ill spoken of the man.

Dr. Lee has one last pep talk for his band, which ends with him telling them to "get crunk." Oh, 2002, how were you so long ago? A&T's big secret plan is to merge the past with the present. Heck, Laila's squad is even dressed up like Solid Gold dancers.

And in case the crowd doesn't get it  ....

OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH. BUT WAIT!

OH MAN IT IS LIKE TWO THINGS AT THE SAME TIME WAAAAOOOOOOWWWW.

Let's go to the judges' decision! For the first time ever, it's a TWO-WAY TIE between Morris Brown and A&T! Wow, think of what would have happened to Morris Brown WITHOUT Petey Pablo! But of course, since a tie is UNACCEPTABLE in any American sport, it is time for a sudden-death DRUMLINE-OFF! Which, remember, is totally a thing that happens. They say each band will play two cadences and then the judges will decide. I don't know why they say that, because each band ends up playing like four cadences, but whatever! We are so close to the end.

Dr. Lee reinstates Devon to the band! Whew. The bands face off like it's about to be Shaolin Soccer or something.

And indeed, the Robert Morris cymbalists (no relation to Efrain) start WHIPPING THEIR CYMBALS AROUND LIKE THEY ARE NUNCHAKU.

I'm just going to assume that this drum-off is a dream sequence, because no part of it makes sense. This is something that we've never even caught a WHIFF of ANYONE practicing, yet the bands are doing stuff like this

and this

and this

... out of nowhere. For their last cadence, Robert Morris steps all the way up to A&T's line and -- as we learned before is the most unforgivable breach of drumline etiquette -- plays their drums.

They then step back to their own space and DROP THEIR STICKS.

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

So A&T busts out a spectacular coup-de-grace and THEY step up to Robert Morris' line and ...

drop their sticks ON THE OTHER BAND'S DRUMS.

Game. Set. Drumline.

A&T wins, of course. Sean and Devon are now best friends forever and the movie ends with a freeze frame of them celebrating, but I was 100% expecting, all the way up to the freeze frame:

Sean: You can be my wingman any time.

Devon: Bullshit. You can be mine.

/LOGGINS

So that's that! I guess everything works out for everyone! We'll never know, because the movie then goes to like a five-minute end credits that features a bunch of cool band performances. Did Devon ever learn to stop being a butthole? Did he ever gain greater control of his face? Do he and Laila go out for more than six months? Do they get married? Does Sean graduate?

I guess we'll never know until Charles Stone III and Nick Cannon team back up for Drumline 2: Drum Harder. And then I'll review that one for you. At any rate, if you're wondering how to make the perfect sports movie, you should study Drumline. It is the most sports movie that has ever been made. And there are no sports anywhere near it!

You can't swing an IUD around the U.S. Capitol rotunda without hitting at least one politician who claims Americans are Taxed Enough Already! and in the same breath claim that both birth control and abortion are abominations. Turns out, that stance doesn't just smell stupid; it is stupid. It's $12.5 billion per year's worth of stupid.

Original Source

http://imgur.com/a/4L1FW

Original Source

Colleges all around the country are having problems keeping their students at football games until the final whistle is blown. To combat fans leaving early, the University of Alabama has revoked seating privileges from some students for this weekend's game with Tennessee.

After reviewing tape of last weekend's game against Arkansas, Alabama officials have decided to suspend 20 of their 36 reserved sections for student organizations, primarily fraternities. Students not involved with these organizations will be free to sit in their section this week when the Volunteers come to town.

Nick Saban was not too pleased with students leaving early. An empty stadium does not leave a good impression on recruits and it really takes away from the game day atmosphere.

"Maybe if you're not interested in doing that, you should let someone else go who would really like to go because I have a lot of people who want to go," Saban said.

Alabama is the first major school to take this kind of action in 2013, though they may not be the last. Schools across the country struggle to keep their student sections full and now some athletic departments are running cash contests or special post-game opportunities for those who remain in their seats through the fourth quarter.

More from SB Nation college football:

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• Big games: Can ‘Cocks stop Mizzou? | Ducks to trample UCLA

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carryonmywaywardgabriel:

Martin Freeman is an angry hobbit.

St. Albertus

St. Valerius in Weyarn

Hand of St. Valentin

St. Benedictus

Skull of St. Getreu in Ursberg

St. Friedrich at the Benedictine abbey in Melk

St. Valentinus in Waldsassen

Relic of St. Deodatus in Rheinau

In 1578 word spread of the discovery in Rome of a network of underground tombs containing the remains of thousands of early Christian martyrs. Many skeletons of these supposed saints were soon removed from their resting place and sent to Catholic churches in Europe to replace holy relics that were destroyed during the Protestant Reformation. Once in place the skeletons were then carefully reassembled and enshrined in costumes, wigs, jewels, crowns, gold lace, and armor as a physical reminder of the heavenly treasures that awaited in the afterlife.

Over the past few years photographer Paul Koudounaris who specializes in the photography of skeletal reliquaries, mummies and other aspects of death, managed to gain unprecendented access to various religious institutions to photograph many of these beautifully macabre shrines for the first time in history. The photos have been collected into a book titled Heavenly Bodies released by Thames & Hudson early next month. (via Hyperallergic)