V.w.verweij
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What We Talked About At ISA: ‘Afghan Masculinities’: The Construction of the Taliban as Sexually Deviant
The paper I presented earlier this month at the International Studies Annual Conference held in San Francisco looks at how Afghan masculinities have been represented in and by Anglo-American media. The words ‘Afghan man’ conjure up a certain image, a pathologised figure that is now associated with most males in Afghanistan. The paper analyses this figure of the ‘militant’ Afghan man, most strikingly captured by descriptions of the Taliban and juxtaposes it with the less popular, though still familiar trope of the ‘damned’ Afghan man, embodied in the figure of the Afghan President, Hamid Karzai. But here I focus on a particular construction of the Taliban as sexually deviant, (improperly) homosexual men.
Jasbir Puar, in her trenchant appraisal of today’s war machine and the politics of knowledge that sustains it argues that the depictions of masculinity most widely disseminated in the post 9/11 world are terrorist masculinities:
failed and perverse, these emasculated bodies always have femininity as their reference point of malfunction and are metonymically tied to all sorts of pathologies of the mind and the body – homosexuality, incest, pedophilia, madness and disease.
Whilst representations of al-Qaeda as pathologically perverse have permeated the Western mainstream, the Taliban because of its historically low international profile has escaped that level of media frenzy. The attention it does get, however, is almost always mired in Orientalist fantasies of Eastern men as pathologically disturbed sodomisers. The ‘high jack this fags’ scrawled on a bomb attached to the wing of an attack plane bound for Afghanistan by a USS Enterprise Navy officer, while in no way ubiquitous, is certainly an edifying example of our image of the Taliban as perverse and not quite “normal”.
This perversity of the Taliban has been largely attributed to their madrassa upbringing, an all-male environment and their concomitant attitude towards women. Echoing anthropologist Lionel Tiger’s concerns that “it is in the crucible of all‐male intensity that the bonds of terrorist commitment and self‐denial are formed”, Ahmed Rashid claims that the members of the Taliban had been brought up in a “totally male society”, in the “madrassa milieu”, where “control over women and their virtual exclusion was a powerful symbol of manhood and a reaffirmation of the students’ commitment to Jihad. Indeed, “denying a role for women gave the Taliban a kind of false legitimacy rooted in the political beliefs and ideologies”. Tiger focusing on al Qaeda offers the conventional and over-stated male-bonding thesis as an explanation for their failed masculinity and sexual perversity. In this imaginary, a lethal mix of male homosociality, the segregation of male and female populations and Islamic ideology carves out a space for terrorism, illicit sex and paedophilia. Both al‐Qaeda and Taliban are used as examples of this dangerous concoction.
The Talib is at once “too masculine” and repulsively effeminate. As a Pashtun, he belongs to the “martial races” – a designation invented by the British in the 19th century and is proclaimed to be inherently “warrior‐like”. These qualities once used to extol the virtues of Afghans as a “noble” “fighting-people” are now used to denounce them as products of a culture of nasty fighting. Indeed, as with all discursive regimes, the question of power (as knowledge) is of paramount importance: we see the culturally sanctioned “hegemonic masculinity” of the 20th century Pashtuns morph into a widely-reviled, failed masculinity of the Taliban in the 21st century.
Sensationalist reportage on paedophilia among so-called terrorist populations has become pedestrian after 9/11 and Pashtun Afghans have been painted, on more than one occasion, as queer sodomisers. The collection of photographs that Thomas Dworzak recovered in 2001 from dusty photographic studios in Kandahar capture a different side of the Taliban – dressed in colourful clothes, reading books and often with kohl applied to their eyes. However, as Faisal Devji notes in his introduction to The Poetry of the Taliban “these images are seen and described as ‘foreign’ or ‘other’”. Dworzak’s explicit aim in his work was to portray the Talibs as “human” and perhaps even “normal” in their complexity, not the one-dimensional monstrous figures they are conventionally depicted as, however, the photographs have been appropriated and interpreted as evidence of a pathological Pashtun tendency towards “queerness”.
Although Pashtun men are not authentically “homosexual” they are, so this story goes, “culturally” paedophiles. A Telegraph headline opines rather forcefully: ‘Paedophilia Culturally Accepted in South Afghanistan’ and the sentiments are echoed by the Examiner.com which cites U.S. soldiers and Reuters journalists as saying Paedophilia is a “way of life” in Afghanistan. The New York Times contends that paedophilia is the “curse” of “male-dominated Pashtun culture. Tim Reid of The Times writes of the “Pashtun obsession with sodomy”, “the Taliban’s disdain for women” and “the bizarre penchant of many for eyeliner”. In this environment of degeneracy and deviance, the construal of Pashtun men as not quite homosexual but still engaging sexually with other men (or boys) is a profoundly political act. It lets us, as Western observers, bemoan the “state of affairs” in Afghanistan, but it allows us to hope for a brighter future post- intervention. By “saving Afghan women” from Afghan men, we are therefore, also saving Afghan men from themselves in this liberal humanitarian narrative.
However, with both homosexuality (or its lack thereof) and paedophilia it is almost as though the issue at stake here is solely the discomfort experienced by the foreign troops stationed in Afghanistan. In spite of its tongue-in-cheek tone, an article by The Scotsman published in 2002 gets to the heart of the matter. “In Bagram British marines returning from an operation deep in the Afghan mountains spoke last night of an alarming new threat—being propositioned by swarms of gay local farmers.” The reactions of the marines, even if not entirely serious, are telling: An Arbraoth marine, James Fletcher exclaims: “They were more terrifying than the al-Qaeda [sic]. One bloke who had painted toenails was offering to paint ours. They go about hand in hand, mincing around the village”. In the words of Corporal Paul Richard, the experience was “hell”: “Every village we went into we got a group of men wearing make-up coming up, stroking our hair and cheeks and making kissing noises”.
The inevitable pop-psychologising follows. The author Chris Stephen offers: “The Afghan hill tribes live in some of the most isolated communities in the country”. And one of his interlocutors, a marine Vaz Pickles adds: “I think a lot of the problem is that they don’t have the women around a lot… We only saw about two women in the whole six days. It was all very disconcerting.” In spite of its jocose tone, the deep-seated homophobia and racism of these soldiers is notable – a band of effeminate Afghan men are labelled as “more terrifying than al‐Qaeda”.
The San Francisco Chronicle makes the point patently clear: “Western forces fighting in southern Afghanistan had a problem. Too often, soldiers on patrol passed an older walking hand‐in‐hand with a pretty young boy”. The choice of words is instructive: it is Western forces who “had a problem”.
And so, visibly perturbed and laden with suspicions about the perverse sexual tendencies and inclinations of the Pashtun people, the US military decided to conduct an academic enquiry into the ways of the Afghan people. The result: a Human Terrain report conducted by the US army on “Pashtun Sexuality”. Ostensibly, to help American soldiers fight better and be more culturally sensitive, the report essentially turned out to be an exercise in sensitising Western fighters to the devious ways of the Other. The report written by Anna Maria Cardanalli, a social scientist (of sorts), claims to draw on ethnographic studies and anthropological expertise argues:
Military cultural awareness training for Afghanistan often emphasizes that the effeminate characteristics of male Pashtun interaction are to considered “normal” and no indicator of a prevalence of homosexuality. This training is intended to prevent servicemembers from reacting with typically western shock or aversion to such displays. However, slightly more in‐depth research points to the presence of a culturally-‐dependent homosexuality appearing to affect a far greater population base then [sic] some researchers would argue is attributable to natural inclination.
The source of the discomfort, in line with the report on Pashtun sexuality, is that homosexuality in southern Afghanistan, is a) “culturally-‐dependent” and b) affects a greater number of people than is deemed “natural”. Since the report makes a case for “Pashtun sexuality” as neither “natural” nor “normal”, but as culturally-‐sanctioned debauchery it becomes easy to label their homosexual interactions as “inauthentic”.
The argument is that “statistically” gay men are supposed to be a minority and given the high incidence of homosexuality in Afghanistan, there is something “deviant” and “unnatural” about this. Indeed, numerous commentaries point out that homosexuality is something “they do” and not something “they are”. Inasmuch as gay men are not a minority in Afghanistan, they are not really homosexual, they are merely deprived – of female intimacy. Similarly, paedophilia is a cultural “norm” in Afghanistan because of the lack of “freely available” women. In accordance with this reasoning, most same‐sex relationships have been reduced to a “Pashtun obsession with sodomy”. Not only does this play into a strange identity politics, whereby we decide what they are and how this makes them different from us, it also often functions in accordance with a reductive causation according to which effeminacy is equated with homosexuality. “Hugging doesn’t mean sex locals tell us, and neither does wearing kohl or colourful sandals.”
The tension in Anglophone reporting about Afghanistan surfaces yet again when grappling with the openness with which men enter into relationships with other men. On the one hand, given the ease with which male-male relationships are discussed in Kandahar one may be forgiven for thinking that Kandahar is exceptionally tolerant, on the other hand the language used by the reporters hints that these relationships are not consensual and even if they are, there is always an undertone of coercion. Indeed, while Tim Reid notes that there seems to be no “shame” or “furtiveness” about their conduct, and others are baffled by the forwardness with which marines are being propositioned, he also says that these young boys are “marked for life”. The contradiction and paradoxes are rife; Reid’s piece is titled “Kandahar comes out of the Closet” although Michael Griffins, also of The Times avers: “in Pashtun society, man‐woman love was the one that dared not speak its name: boy courtesans conducted their affairs openly.”
In another instance, faced with estimates from her informants that “between 18% and 45% of men [in Kandahar] engage in homosexual sex,” an LA Times reporter Maura Reynolds observed dryly that this is “significantly higher than the 3% to 7% of American men who, according to studies identify themselves as homosexual”. Indeed this “excess” homosexuality makes Afghans suspect and much more likely to be called queer “paedophiles” and “sodomizers” as opposed to gay men or homosexuals. It is telling that the term “bisexual” is not once used to describe these men who often have wives and themselves admit that they like both men and women. As Reynolds’ local contact, Daud himself tells her: “I like men but I like girls better”.
In the final analysis, the (western) assumption that homosexuality is a “minority identity” and therefore must be connected with secrecy is challenged in the Afghan context. The openness and lack of secrecy surrounding same sex relationships in Afghanistan is what confounds most Western observers. Yet again, it is the desire to make sense of, to make legible, these foreign practices that leads to a series of stereotypes and contradictions. That Afghan men may have polymorphous sexual desires or engage in polyamorous relationships is a possibility that lies beyond the purview of the average Anglophone reporter. The messy complexities of a repressive society with its members participating in fluid sexual relationships are too great to comprehend – they are written off as unnatural aberrations in a culture characterized by (in the words of one reporter) “gynaeophobia”.
Le Caprice's breakfast sandwiches are delicious (and they have lunch ones too)

Le Caprice, the nice French bakery at 3460 14th Street NW, has a lot of good (and reasonably priced) baked goods. However, they also have delicious breakfast sandwiches. A lot recently I've been stopping by to get the breakfast combo, of which there are about 4 -- sandwich, coffee and a little cup of fruit for about $7. My favorite is the one with tasty roll -- it's egg, some kind of delicious cheese and a slice of tomato. Simple but good. You can add meat too, but it's not necessary, still delicious.
They've also got a bunch of premade lunch sandwiches on various kinds of bread (see below), which I haven't checked out yet, but based on the breakfast ones are probably pretty delicious.
And considering the nice weather lately (finally) it's a nice spot to get breakfast and sit on the patio.
Here Are The Best Themed Bars In Brooklyn
V.w.verweijStefan would go to none of these.

Brought to you by Jameson Black Barrel. Find out more here.
You know you’re in a theme bar when you walk in the door and immediately sense, a theme—obviously. The decor, the menu, the staff uniforms are all working around one central idea. Irish Pub, for example, is a pretty popular and majorly overplayed theme. Brooklyn has its fair share of theme bars, here are eight of the best, without a leprechaun in sight.
Barcade
Theme: Video Games
388 Union Avenue, Williamsburg
You know how your aunt lets your uncle keep a pinball machine in the garage? This video game themed bar is kind of like that, but probably with more craft beers and definitely with more old school video games. Barcade has concrete floors, tall ceilings and a few tables where you can rest your eyes and eat beef jerky before playing another marathon session of Frogger or Asteroids for 25 cents a game.

Brooklyn Bowl
Theme: Bowling
61 Wythe Avenue, Williamsburg
Brooklyn Bowl hasn’t decided if it’s a performance venue, bowling alley, restaurant, or a bar. So it’s all of those things with a bowling theme and a really excellent policy of allowing only adults 21 and over except for Saturdays and Sundays between noon and six. Plus, you can get pork rinds and frozen margaritas brought to your lane, but that would probably give you a stomachache, so maybe just choose one or the other. DJ ?uestlove has a Thursday night residency where he spins vinyl to throwback SOul Train videos, so there’s that. Photo: flickr: John Gullo

Camp
Theme: Outdoors
179 Smith Street, Cobble Hill
Ok, if you’ve ever actually been to the wilderness then you’ll most likely roll your eyes at Camp’s attempts to “bring Brooklyn urbanites a little taste of the country.” But there’s a real kayak in the corner and they serve s’mores, so maybe you’ll be inspired to get off your barstool and into a zip car and drive upstate this summer. If not, then keep listening to Indie rock and playing Big Buck Hunter and don’t let anyone judge you. Enjoy your Dirty Girl Scout—the drink, obviously. Photo: flickr: laverrue
Zombie Hut
Theme: Tiki
273 Smith Street, Cobble Hill
Four-person Scorpion Bowls are not just for Sorority girls, they are for anyone who wants to share a stiff drink with three of their best friends. If you didn’t come with three of your best friends, you’ll easily make new ones at Zombie Hut. And later, you can make out with them on the couches in the back or the outdoor patio. Because Tiki bars are all about a sexy Polynesian vibe, beaded curtains, and fertility masks.

Beauty Bar
Theme: Beauty Salon
249 5th Avenue, Park Slope
The Beauty Bar has sparkly walls, vintage salon chairs, and four dollar well drinks for happy hour. They used to do manicures in the bar, but now they don’t. So just walk to a shop down the street to get gels and then come to Beauty Bar for a Vidal Sassoon cocktail and make sure to gesture wildly with your hands so everyone can see how fresh they look. Photo: flickr: EdenPictures
Gotham City Lounge
Theme: Comic Books
1293 Myrtle Avenue, Bushwick
I was pretty sure that the only place in Brooklyn to get a beer and a shot for three dollars was in my dreams. Then Gotham City Lounge came along and made my dreams come true. If you’re into comic books, super heroes, glass-encased Wolverine claws, and drinking, then this place is your mecca. Drinks are named after super heroes and I think that might be Comic Book Guy playing pool.

Redhook Bait and Tackle
Theme: Fishing
320 Van Brunt Street, Red Hook
Redhook Bait and Tackle used to be a bait shop for local fisherman. Now the space is a bar with taxidermy and fishing memorabilia on the walls and it smells like my grandpa’s medicine cabinet—not great but kind of musty and comforting. They have live bands fairly regularly and don’t be afraid of the black bear, it’s stuffed.

The Way Station
Theme: Doctor Who
638 Washington Avenue
Crown Heights
Honestly, I have never seen Doctor Who, and I am not an expert on Steampunk (Wikipedia tells me that steampunk “is a sub-genre of science fiction that typically features steam-powered machinery, especially in a setting inspired by industrialized Western civilization during the 19th century), but The Way Station is a nod to both of these pop culture references. I guess that explains the time machine TARDIS bathroom and mechanical curios on the walls. For other non-experts, there are burlesque and comedy shows, plus hand crafted cocktails. Photo: http://waystationbk.blogspot.com/
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See more posts by Megan L. Wood
The 4th Annual Kingman Island Bluegrass and Folk Festival next Sat!
What: The fourth annual Kingman Island Bluegrass and Folk Festival presented by Events DC, featuring seven bluegrass bands including The Hackensaw Boys and more. The festival will celebrate local music, food, and culture as well as the revitalization of the Anacostia River.
The Festival will include seven hours of performances by local bluegrass bands, DC’s favorite food trucks, Sierra Nevada beer, bike giveaways from BicycleSPACE and tours of the island, local music busking stages, and a children’s area with crafts and games.
When: Saturday April 27th 1:00pm – 8:00pm
Where: Kingman Island located on the Anacostia River- 575 Oklahoma Ave NE Washington, DC (at the entrance to RFK Stadium).
Biking and metro are encouraged. A free shuttle will run from Stadium/Armory Metro Station. Free parking is available in RFK Lot 6.
Who: The Kingman Island Bluegrass Festival presented by Events DC, is a collaboration between Living Classrooms, Councilman Tommy Wells’ Office, BicycleSPACE, Listen Local First and media partner WAMU’s Bluegrass Country. All are welcome to attend.
Cost: $10 Suggested Donations. Donations will support Living Classrooms’ environmental education programming for DC youth on Kingman Island. Tickets can be purchases ahead of time at: http://kingmanislandbluegrass.eventbrite.com
The 5pm Post – From the Events Calendar, PoP Picks…
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Comet Ping Pong
5037 Connecticut Avenue, NW
Thursday, April 18th, 2013
8:30pm – 10:00pm | FREE!The Official Film of Record Store Day 2013, LAST SHOP STANDING: THE RISE, FALL AND REBIRTH OF THE INDEPENDENT RECORD SHOP, is based on a book by Graham Jones, and directed by Pip Piper. Free screenings are happening this week in partnership with record stores across the country.
LAST SHOP STANDING should be an essential watch for anyone who grew up going to record shops or for those who want to explore the music world further deeper than what is online. Mark Searby, MTV
Hear from over 20 record shop owners and music industry leaders as well as musicians including Paul Weller, Johnny Marr, Norman Cook, Billy Bragg, Nerina Pallot, Richard Hawley and Clint Boon as they all tell us how the shops became and still are a part of their own musical education, a place to cherish and discover new bands and new music.
Get DCs Record Store Day started early with a free screening of LAST SHOP STANDING, hosted in the back room at Comet Ping Pong (5037 Connecticut Ave NW Washington, DC 20008). No cover. Regular food and drink menu available.
See all of tonight’s and the week’s events here. To add your event, click the events tab up top and then click “add an event”. You can add concerts, museum/gallery exhibits, fundraisers, sporting events, bike rides etc. You can add anything you think will be of interest to PoPville.
Arlington Pet of the Week: Adam Puppy
This week’s Pet of the Week is a young rescue dog named Adam Puppy, who is looking for a family to call his own. Here’s what the the volunteers at Lucky Dog Animal Rescue had to say about him:
Meet our Lucky Dog. He’s a one-year-old Catahoula Leopard/Doxie mix who is very playful and energetic. Adam is a sweet pup that needs time to warm up to new people, dogs, and places.
Adam Puppy will need an experienced dog owner that can help with his socialization and teach him to trust new things. His new owner needs to be committed to training him. Once he has warmed up to you, he is incredibly affectionate and will be your little shadow. Adam is an expert at de-squeaking any plush toy and will happily remove all the stuffing as well. He also enjoys a good game of fetch, curling up on long car rides, and playing with his other doggy friends (as seen in this video).
For more information on Adam Puppy and adopting from Lucky Dog Animal Rescue please visit our website.
The Arlington Pet of the Week is sponsored by Dogma Bakery, which has locations at The Village at Shirlington (2772 S. Arlington Mill Drive) and the Lee Harrison Shopping Center (2445 N. Harrison Street).
Want your pet to be considered to be the Arlington Pet of the Week? Email steph@arlnow.com with a 2-3 paragraph bio and 3-4 photos of your pet. Each week’s winner receives a $25 Dogma gift card.
Mining Atlas: New Gold Discoveries in Eritrea
Chalice Gold is an explorer in the small African country of Eritrea where they have made 2 large gold discoveries. Mining Atlas has built a 3D presentation to guide you through this companies exploration activities and find other gold mines in the region (just click "next" through the presentation).
There are thousands of mines to be found and interesting presentations at: http://mining-atlas.com
Random Reader Rant and/or Revel
V.w.verweijLook at this dog.

Photo by PoPville flickr user Rukasu1
You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.
georgialobbe: allcreatures: Last weekend three baby Maras...
V.w.verweijHow is this real?


Last weekend three baby Maras were born at Amsterdam’s Artis Royal Zoo. Maras mate for life and usually have one to three babies every year. Newborns are so well developed they can begin to graze within a day.
Maras (Dolichotis patagonum) are the fourth largest rodent in the world, after capybaras, beavers, and porcupines, reaching about 18 inches (45 cm ) tall. In the wild, Maras live in dry, grassy areas in South America. With their long, thin legs and tall ears they seem much like a hare, but the Maras are actually a subfamily of the guinea pig. They can make jumps of 2 meters.
Photo Credit: Artis Royal Zoo (via Trio of Big-Eyed Baby Maras Born at Artis Zoo - ZooBorns)
babiesss
c:
what I can’t even
Antonin Scalia Is Chief Justice Of Trolling
"Justice Antonin Scalia told law students on Monday evening that the Voting Rights Act is now an 'embedded' form of 'racial preferment.'... Scalia criticized Supreme Court precedents that expanded the number of protected minority groups, according to the Law Blog account. There are 'all sorts of minorities,' he said, but minority status alone should not insulate people from majority policy choices. Scalia then gave an example, the Law Blog says. Child abusers are a minority, Scalia said, but they should not receive special protection."
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See more posts by Alex Balk
Our Continuing Series of Council Members Parking in Illegal (for the rest of us) Spaces

A reader sends in this shot from 7pm Sun night at 13th and U St, NW.
Your Afternoon Animal Fix
If you have any animal/pet photos you’d like to share please shoot me an email to princeofpetworth(at)gmail(dot)com with ‘Animal Fix’ in the title and say the name of your pet and your neighborhood. Your photos will go into the queue and will be posted in the order I receive them. If you’ve already entered your pet and would like to do so again – that’s no problem – just space the entries out a bit.

“This is Max. He’s a fifth-generation Washingtonian from Glover Park with a penchant for french cuffs and scotch…and belly rubs.”

“Eppy (short for Epsilon) in Takoma Park”

“Charlie, 4 yrs old, lives in Trinidad. He is clearly ready to live in a two-dog household.”
Flying Fish Coffee & Tea Applying for a Liquor License in Mt. Pleasant

3064 Mt. Pleasant Street, NW
Looks like Each Peach won’t be the only place to grab some wine and beer on the 3000 block of Mt. Pleasant Street. Flying Fish has applied for a liquor license. They hope to be able to serve:
Sunday: 10:00 am – 9:00 pm; Monday through Thursday: 11:00 am – 9:00 p.m.; Friday: 11:00 am – 10:00 pm; Saturday: 10:00 am – 10:00 pm.
Blue Banana Closes on Georgia Ave near Petworth Metro
V.w.verweijIt's because it's called the Blue Banana and it's NOT a gay bar.

3632 Georgia Ave, NW
Blue Banana sports bar turned rock club opened up back in Dec. 2010. Thanks to all who sent word about their closing. I hear that a new management team is being brought in and they plan on reopening with a new concept. I also hear the patio will be expanded and a roof deck could be added. It is not clear how long renovations will take but I’ll be sure to update as more info becomes available.
It seems naming a sports bar, Blue Banana, from the film Pretty Woman wasn’t the best idea after all…
Looking forward to learning more about the new concept – and very excited about the potential for an expanded outdoor patio and roof deck!

Vote the Pug for Capitol Hill’s Favorite Bar

The Titan is a fan of the Pug.
Our favorite barman, Billy over at the Pug, reminds us that H Street’s The Pug is in the running for Cap Hill’s favorite bar.
Click here to go vote for the Pug.
Also, tonight is Taco Tuesday at the Pug around 7ish.
Sweet City Ride – Painted Bug
V.w.verweijAmazing in so many ways

Photo by PoPville flickr user evegophotos
evegophotos spots this sweet ride in Capitol Hill.
If you spot a sweet ride please upload to the PoPville flickr pool or send an email with an attachment to princeofpetworth(at)gmail.
When I Win The Lottery I Am Going To Save All The Manatees
I know it's Springtime and it's supposed to be renewal and flowers and budding trees and things like that, but I'm tired of stuff right now, you know? Among certain other things that happened this week, there is also like this thing with the goofball in Korea who is gonna launch a nuclear missile on his grandfather's birthday or something? It's depressing!
We (as in U.S.) might set fire to the sky over this guy's country because he says he has a nuke missile and he wants to use it, you know? Doesn't this guy know how dangerous We The People are? Look what we did to a country that didn't even have any good weapons, it turned out. We crazy!
Plus I thought all these Dictators liked movies? We know he likes Sports because of that ridiculous thing with the basketball that happened, but doesn't this guy like movies? I refuse to Google this shit. I don't want to learn about this fool. Didn't he see Dr. Strangelove? Once this thing gets rolling there ain't no stopping it! I wonder how many spies were in that group that went over for the basketball, huh? Seriously, I bet there was at least one spy. I hope there was a spy, I mean we gotta do something about this kook, I guess, but why is it our job, World Policewise? Can't we just give him some money? Can't China handle this one? They want to be Number One now, so why don't they fix this guy's wagon, hah? C'mon, China, it's your century, everybody keeps saying, plus, you're closer, right?
And what happened with this Drone Army we were building over in Africa, did we do anything with that? Are we getting anything out of these Drones, like, are we gonna attack Syria or something? Is it a secret? Also, how many sides are there, in Syria? Which side are we on? And since when is Hosni Mubarak still alive over in Egypt? I thought that was all done? He's still on trial for being President? Are you kidding me?
Also, there are robots taking all the clicks out of my computer or something. I'm not Googling any of this shit because it just makes it worse.
Birds around my house are tweeting their natural analogue tweets now every morning before I get outta bed. They wake me up out of my vital Beauty Sleep and I don't even get mad. They are back from being good birds someplace else, so I should have Joy and stuff because it is the Season of Life, with plants, and li'l baby birds to continue singing and get that early worm breakfast, and no more winter coats and whatever, but all I can think about is Hurricane Season will be back at some point and a whole bunch more people are gonna get washed out to sea because their house is too close to the melted polar icecaps and the Carbon Dioxide dissolved into the sea or the air or however it works with the science because of the pollution and there was a whole iceberg or glacier or something in South America that melted in like 20 minutes after freezing for a thousand years or something and now it's melted and everything's fucked up, man.
But it's Springtime! You don't have to dress in layers now, that's Good Times, right? More Daylight, even if you don't believe in Daylight Savings or whatever, you don't have to lift a finger and there are more hours of Daylight because of what, the angle of the Earth, or the Earth is closer to the Sun or something? I can't remember, but all I know is I heard somebody say maybe the Earth was a little wobbly or something or there's a bulge and that could be also melting everything and there's Fracking, to get more oil, and it's causing earthquakes because of how you have to shoot water into the ground or something and so of course there are other guys saying no, Fracking doesn't cause Earthquakes, people do, or something?
And also a whole buncha Manatees got killed? The Manatee is one of my favorite animals because it is mellow. It doesn't attack people, it just cruises around and eats seaweed or something. If I was a millionaire I would have a Manatee ranch where they could come and hang out and not get hit by boats or killed, but I don't, even though I play the lottery all the time, so now I feel bad because of the Red Tide, which chokes out all the oxygen or something, and kills the plants the Manatees eat, and so the Manatees get killed and this is all because of soap or phosphates in the water or maybe it's chicken shit or some sorta waste product from farms going into the water? We still do this, we still dump stuff out that kills things? Can we maybe reassess the whole Chicken thing, because meanwhile, back in China, they have the "Bird Flu," but they say they don't have any big problem with "Bird Flu," which is up to H7N9 now, and counting. I don't know, is it important when the serial number of the Flu changes? It's bad, right? Everything is bad? You know what, China? You need to fix this also. You guys are in charge of your own damn chickens, right? What good is having a Totalitarian Society if you can't handle stuff like this? Meanwhile you are gonna get everybody in China a car? Haven't you been paying attention? That's not a good idea, man. Everybody has admired you for a long time because of all the bicycles.
You know, I'm usually pretty upbeat, I'm a Positive Person, for real, but every once in a while it just all sorta piles up and I have a lot of questions. I'll get over it. Maybe it's just the pollen from all the fucking trees.
Previously: Beer With Baseball On The Radio Is Great, You Should Try This Delightful Combo
Mr. Wrong can converse with you via many medias. Brian Garrett took that photo of manatee rescue.
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See more posts by Joe MacLeod
Letter From A Birmingham Jail
"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly."
—One of the greatest documents in the history of this nation was released 50 years ago. Take some time to read it.
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See more posts by Alex Balk
What Would Jesus Do About Gentrification?
Every year on Good Friday Catholics around the world celebrate the Stations of the Cross, a ritual which traces back to early pilgrimages to Jerusalem. Usually the "stations" are a series of small plaques, reliefs, or statues inside a church, but in many parts of Europe networks of small shrines were set up around various cities to allow the faithful to make their own mini-pilgrimages without the expense or danger of traveling to the Holy Land.
My local Catholic church in Washington, D.C., however, has taken a more radical approach, using the story of Christ's betrayal and crucifixion as an allegory for the changes gentrification has wrought on our neighborhood. Usually, this is done at holy sites, but in this case, the church stops at food banks, AIDS clinics and other local establishments in our rapidly gentrifying neighborhood and talk about the need to preserve social services and provide more affordable housing.
Saint Augustine Catholic Church, now located at the corner of NW 15th and V Streets, is itself a product of the city's tumultuous history of racism, white flight, and economic revival. As "the Mother Church of African-American Catholics" it has long been a home to people who felt shut out by Washington's white establishment.
Read the rest at The Billfold.
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motherjones: wnycradiolab: And now I have a new unattainable...






And now I have a new unattainable goal in life: playing in sawdust with elephants.
Mental health break.
Arlington to Hold Girls’ Firefighting Camp
An innovative summer camp could spark new career ambitions among high school-aged girls in Arlington who feel up for a challenge. Long term, it could also help the Arlington County Fire Department meet its goal of recruiting more female firefighters.
The Girls’ Fire Camp, a free overnight camp scheduled for July 12-14, is designed to give girls aged 13 to 16 a taste of the firefighter’s life. Participants will work out, run drills and learn skills — all under the close supervision of ACFD staff. The department’s recruiting officer, Capt. Brandon D. Jones, described the camp as a “fun-filled weekend” in which high school students will “learn how to stay in great shape” while performing basic firefighting and emergency medical tasks.
“The department hopes to make a long-term connection with the participants,” Jones said. “After they attend this camp, some may be inspired to continue their ambition to become a Firefighter/EMT in the future.”
Though Arlington was the first fire department in the country to hire a female professional firefighter, in 1974, it has struggled like other departments nationwide to recruit women for the traditionally male profession. Currently, females comprise about 9 percent of the 300-plus member Arlington department. Nationwide, only about 6 percent of firefighters are women.
As recruiters get more creative in their quest for diversity, fire camps for high school girls have proliferated. Since the Tucson Fire Department joined with the neighboring Northwest Fire/Rescue District to open its inaugural Camp Fury for girls in 2009, other jurisdictions have followed suit. The Ashland Fire Department in Massachusetts runs a Camp Bailout, the New Hampshire State Fire Academy runs a Camp Fully Involved and the Utica Fire Academy in New York offers the Phoenix Firecamp.
“The camp is a really great idea,” said Capt. Anne Marsh, an EMS supervisor and 15-year veteran of the Arlington department. “We want our department to represent the general population. So many people come into the fire department as part of a family legacy, and women have simply not had as many role models to follow.”
Campers will spend the two nights, with chaperones, at Marymount University. During the days, they will participate in activities that include physical training, a fire extinguisher class, hose drills and an aerial ladder demonstration. They will tour the Arlington fire stations and, treat of treats, dine with the on-duty crews.
“The idea is to put the possibility of becoming a firefighter on the front burner for them,” said Arlington firefighter/paramedic Jennifer Slade, a seven-year veteran of the department, “but we’re also trying to incorporate fun into it, so it’s not just learning.”
“Even if they don’t go into the field,” Slade added, “hopefully they will talk to their friends about how much fun they had.”
The camp is limited to 16 participants, who must fill out an application that includes an essay. Those interested can call 703-228-0098 or visit the camp’s web page for more information.
Photos via Arlington County. Michael Doyle is a journalist and Arlington resident. He is a member of the Cherrydale Volunteer Fire Department.
Council Candidate Zuckerberg Hosting “4/20″ Event on the Mall Saturday
V.w.verweijThis is the guy with the derpiest face. Vote for Derp
DC Council candidate Paul Zuckerberg, “DC’s top marijuana defense lawyer”, is holding a 4/20 rally event right in view of the Capitol from 11am – 4pm this Saturday:
The Committee to Elect Paul Zukerberg to the DC Council in the April 23, 2013 Special Election has announced that it will host a free rally and concert at the Capitol on Saturday, 4/20/13. Acts include the Originators (reggae), Daryl Davis (boogie woogie), the Unfortunate Sons (rock) and headlining will be Congo Sanchez of the Thievery Corporation. Music kicks off at 11:00 a.m. at 3rd and Constitution, NW, right in front of the Capitol and all events are absolutely free. DC voters can take a short walk to DC only early voting polling station next to the concert.
Afterwards, you’ll have time to attend a local Trinidad event: the Twerk and Rumble from 4pm-11pm.
Toilet Soap: How evil women trick men into thinking they’re not old hags
We were talking the other day about an especially popular Manosphere fairy tale — you know, the one in which evil women in their “prime” years in their twenties have lots of sex with charming assholes (and none with hard-working decent nice guys), only to panic when they hit the age of thirty or so and suddenly become ugly monsters.
Well, apparently the evil women have come up with a technical solution to that whole “getting old and ugly” problem. I have uncovered secret evidence in the form of a pamphlet or leaflet that the women of the world evidently circulate amongst themselves.
Very clever of these sneaky women to call this magical age-defying balm “Toilet Soap,” to make us men think it’s a product only used for cleaning toilets, which is something women apparently do on a regular basis. But no, they put this so-called “Toilet Soap” on their faces!
I have been unable to find any of this “Lux Toilet Soap” at the local grocery store. So I’ve been trying out other toilet cleaners to see if they have the same age-retarding effects. So far I have had little luck. The Clorox Toilet Wand is harsh and awkward to use. Lime-A-Way Toilet Bowl Cleaner gave me a rash. The less said about my experience with the Scrubbing Bubbles Toilet Cleaning Gel, the better. I have not yet tried Lysol’s Power Toilet Bowl Cleaner, as I am pretty sure Lysol is intended only for vaginas.
Also, fellas, I don’t want to alarm you, but I have been doing reasearch on yet another way women try to trick us into thinking that they’re hotter than they really are. It’s apparently called “make-up.” I will fill you in on the details as I learn more about it.
Blend Your Old Food Scraps For Instant Compost
Composting your leftovers is a great way to generate rich nutrients for your garden, but a real compost bin isn't a viable option for everyone. If you don't have the space or can't stomach the smell, creating cold compost in your blender is a great alternative. More »
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