Hey, young ladies! Do you regularly exhibit your nipples and/or pudenda on the streets? Young millennial fellas: are you a balls-out kinda guy in general? Good news! While some uptight fools will tell you not to dress like a slanch for your internship, we believe you are more likely to Find Your Unique Path and also to Make It In New York City in general if you just "be yourself." An office is an extension of your lifestyle, after all, and if your lifestyle is nipple-centric or "neo-burlesque" or "embodying James Deen gifs," that is fine, and don't let anyone tell you different. You're only young and pretty once!
Adult-sized diapers and day-glo werewolf-hair arm-gloves are also cool.
BE YOURSELF. It's the only way that we can figure out who you really are, and separate you from the weirdos and losers with their slacks and briefcases and preparedness.
"What about my female employees? They’re awesome! We all bond and hang out after work. But I’m their boss. Is it hug or shake when we run into each other at Whole Foods? The more I think about it, the more I spiral counter-clockwise down the toilet of anxiety. It all adds up to only a few seconds of awkwardness per day—and maybe I read into things more than others would—but I hate the thought that I may be inflicting awkwardness on the women in my work life by greeting them like a deer greets headlights." —Finally someone dares speak about the tyranny of affection under which we all cower.
My brother and I have been standing in line—we are the line—for 10 minutes while the man in front of us sets up his payments for four otter pops and one sucker.
He is paying with Tashlumim. Real old-fashioned credit. There are tons of little stores like this all over the country—single owner, providing a few blocks with 16-, 20- or 24-hour access to fundamental groceries: bread, hummus, milk, cottage cheese. And yes, otter pops and suckers. These stores are neighborhood institutions, neighbors helping neighbors. Hence the Tashlumim.
After it's been settled, with a "Shabbat shalom, hamud," we're up. we pay for our chocolate milk with cash, but we don't have to. Read the rest at The Billfold.
This week’s Arlington Pet of the Week is a long, but lovable Australian Bearded Dragon named “Kirky”.
Here’s what Kirky’s owners had to say about this unique family pet:
When our oldest son was six years old he asked for a lizard for his birthday. Our friends had a bearded dragon that he loved and they told us that it was easy to take care of. Off to the store my son and I went to pick up our baby “beardy” who he named Kirky. Kirky was about 6 inches long and ate only crickets.
When Kirky was about one year old, he was a bit under the weather and we took him to a vet. To our surprise and delight we found out that Kirky was a girl!
As she grew (and grew) Kirky lived in a 10 gallon tank, then a 40 gallon tank and now, 6 years later, she lives in a 70 gallon tank by our picture window where she loves to sun herself. Kirky is about 2 ½ feet long and lucky for us, she is not going to grow any more. She no longer eats crickets but she does love broccoli and celery leaves and her Bearded Dragon Food.
Kirky enjoys sitting on her log under her heat lamp to warm up. When the TV is on, she watches with us. We even tried to take her on walks but that didn’t work out too well. She just sat in the grass and did not move! She is incredibly easy to take care of and is a joy to have around the house! Guests who come into our home are fascinated by her!
The Arlington Pet of the Week is sponsored by Dogma Bakery, which has locations at The Village at Shirlington (2772 S. Arlington Mill Drive) and the Lee Harrison Shopping Center (2445 N. Harrison Street).
Want your pet to be considered to be the Arlington Pet of the Week? Email steph@arlnow.com with a 2-3 paragraph bio and 3-4 photos of your pet. Each week’s winner receives a $25 Dogma gift card.
Your captions in the comments and winners (free PoP t-shirt) picked Friday. If you find a caption particularly funny be sure to let me know in the comments and I will select a reader pick too.
If you have any animal/pet photos you’d like to share please shoot me an email to princeofpetworth(at)gmail(dot)com with ‘Animal Fix’ in the title and say the name of your pet and your neighborhood. Your photos will go into the queue (usually 3-4 weeks wait) and will be posted in the order I receive them. If you’ve already entered your pet and would like to do so again – that’s no problem – just space the entries out a bit.
“This is Fiona, she lives on capitol hill and is hiding from the contractor who is fixing a cracked and stained ceiling. She has been TERRIFIED. ”
“Penny Jones of Logan Circle enjoys sitting on the steps of the Scottish Rite Freemasons Temple at 16th and S.”
“Zelda dreams of Pollo Sabroso in Columbia Heights”
“Fitzgerald, a Columbia Heights resident, in a tuna coma”
When you're digging through the internet and reading essays, articles, or even having an argument with a person, it's often tough to immediately spot where the argument breaks down. Professor of Philosophy Daniel C Dennett suggests that one key word to look for as a sign of a weak argument for is "surely."
Spotting a weak argument is all about finding the tells in a way a person writes or speaks. In some cases, this is comes about in word choice, and "surely" is a good red flag:
When you’re reading or skimming argumentative essays, especially by philosophers, here is a quick trick that may save you much time and effort, especially in this age of simple searching by computer: look for “surely” in the document, and check each occurrence. Not always, not even most of the time, but often the word “surely” is as good as a blinking light locating a weak point in the argument.
Surely isn't always an indicator for a weak argument, but it's a good sign that you need to start paying attention. While Dennett makes the argument that this is useful in essays, it's just as much of a red flag in conversation as well. If nothing else it makes a good tip to add to your toolbox of ways to productively call people out on their BS.
A recent op-ed in the Wall Street Journal titled In Defense of Carbon Dioxide” suggests climate change isn't a problem because plants need CO2 to grow. Climate writers call it a new low for climate denial.
At the start of 2013, the United States was home to 22 modern public bike-sharing programs. By spring 2014, that number will likely double as a flurry of cities joins the more than 500 bike-sharing communities worldwide.
Heavy Seas Alehouse to Open in Rosslyn — Baltimore brewer Heavy Seas plans to open a restaurant at the newly renovated 1501 Wilson Blvd in Rosslyn. So far, the existing Baltimore location is the only other Heavy Seas Alehouse besides the one planned for Rosslyn. The restaurant is expected to open by the end of this year. [Washington Business Journal]
Army Ten-Miler Registration to Begin — Registration for the Army Ten-Miler opens at midnight on Wednesday, May 15. This year, 35,000 spots will be available for the October 20 race, instead of 30,000. General admission entries sold out within nine hours last year. [Army Ten-Miler]
Local Eighth Grader Named State’s Top Female Orator — Swanson Middle School eighth grader Dorothee Mulumba won the Virginia State Oratorical Contest on May 4. In total, her scholarship winnings from the local, regional and state competitions add up to $3,000. [Sun Gazette]
McDonnell Signs Transportation Bill — On Monday, Gov. Bob McDonnell signed the transportation funding bill into law. The law cuts the state’s 17.5 cents per gallon gas tax and raises the state sales tax from 5 percent to 5.3 percent, in addition to adding a $64 registration fee for hybrid vehicles. [Washington Post]
It seems like all our local bars are getting into the shot-and-beer combo game -- Wonderland, Looking Glass and the Derby have all had cheap ones for awhile -- usually something like Natty Boh or PBR and a shot of some kind of rail whiskey for about $6.
Now the Red Derby at 3718 14th Street NW is stepping it up, with a new menu full of the deals, from cheap ($6) to fancier ($12.) I spent some time there this weekend with some buddies and got a few of the Dealer's Choice, where the bartender picks something. In our case, she picked out some good ones, like solid whiskeys and good beer together.
Pretty fun idea, but keep in mind that they add up, and are certainly more expensive (obviously) than the Derby's usual inexpensive beers.
If you have any animal/pet photos you’d like to share please shoot me an email to princeofpetworth(at)gmail(dot)com with ‘Animal Fix’ in the title and say the name of your pet and your neighborhood. Your photos will go into the queue (usually 3-4 weeks wait) and will be posted in the order I receive them. If you’ve already entered your pet and would like to do so again – that’s no problem – just space the entries out a bit.
“Cora, Adams Morgan.”
“President Preston
DuPont”
“Mao taking his third nap of the day in Lanier Heights.”
The wild Norwegian band Kvelertak will be playing their first ever concert in the Washington DC area when they come to the Rock & Roll Hotel on Sunday, May 19th, 2013. The last time they headlined a US tour the closest they came to the area was Philadelphia so I drove up there to see them. They were totally insane live and well worth all the driving! I want to make sure as many people get to check this band out as possible so this week on DCHeavyMetal.com we’re giving away a pair of tickets to a lucky reader of the site. To enter just tell me why you want to go to this show in the comments section at the end of this post. At 5pm EST on Friday, May 17th, 2013, the contest will close and a winner will be chosen at random (using Random.org) from all valid entries to get the free pair of seated tickets to the show. If I don’t hear from the winner within 24 hours then I’ll randomly pick another person to get the tickets, however please don’t enter if you know you can’t go. Be sure to enter with a valid email address you check regularly so I can contact you if you win. Don’t worry, win or lose I won’t add you to any email lists or anything like that, I hate spam too. If you enter more than once then all of your entries will be disqualified. If you can’t wait to see if you win the tickets, or the contest is already over when you read this, you can buy them for $15 from Ticket Alternative here.
Kvelertak is a rock/punk/metal band from Norway that packs every song with tons of high energy riffs. Hell even their transitions are catchy. They have found the perfect blend of rock, punk, thrash and even black metal and if you don’t get excited listening to these guys you might not have a pulse! They put on a great live show that you won’t want to miss and this show is a perfect chance for us in the DC area to finally see them live. All of their songs are in Norwegian but it doesn’t matter if you know the language or not cause music this great is the universal language! Check out the animated video of their song Blodtørst (which means bloodlust in Norwegian) posted below and watch the blood flow! Also on this tour is the Toronto based punk rock band Cancer Bats and the Savannah, Georgia sludge metal trio Black Tusk. The local support is provided by Black Clouds, a dark and moody rock band with a great light show. Now watch these videos by each band playing this show and give me your reason for wanting to go to this awesome show. It shouldn’t be hard to think of one!
Coral Davenport at National Journal has a well-reported piece on the "coming civil war in the Republican party." Can the moderates turn the fundamentalists around?
While it's safe to say that the kindhearted locals were driven by empathy and compassion, thankfully a video has emerged to ensure that their show of altruism doesn't go unnoticed by the world.
Pulling weeds is nobody's idea of a good time, but if you're going to invest the time to beautify your lawn and get rid of dandelions, it's better to do it the right way so they don't grow back.
Regina Yunghans at Apartment Therapy breaks down her process for digging up dandelions without leaving a trace of root. There's nothing particularly surprising about her approach; she basically digs half a foot into the ground next to the dandelion, turns up the soil slightly, and wiggles the weed carefully out of the dirt, but it's a consistent method that won't leave any roots left over. Simply pulling the weeds by hand, or using a less-precise long tool to avoid bending down will always leave a few stragglers waiting to create more work for you the next weekend. Be sure to check out the source link for some photos of her method, then try it out in your own lawn.
Whether you do drip, French press, AeroPress, pour-over, percolator, or use a pod brewer, there are seriously more ways to make a good cup of coffee than we could ever highlight. Still, some methods are better than others, and you didn't hesitate to let us know. Here are the top five coffee makers, based on your nominations.
Earlier in the week, we asked you which coffee makers you thought were the best. We didn't expect the tidal wave of nominations you gave us, but we were happy to see them. Our only regret is that we can only feature the top five, and we don't have room for a lot of the very specific models and other less well-known products you shared with us. Even so, we know you'll sound off again in the discussions. In the meantime, here are your five favorites:
Ah, the venerable French press. Also known as a coffee plunger or a cafetière, the French press is a tried and true method of making a delicious cup of coffee that extracts an exceptional amount of flavor from coffee beans in a short brewing time. It's not the fastest or the slowest method in the roundup, and it's not the most hands-off, but it's hardly difficult, and for most people who want a pot of coffee big enough for a few cups (but who are also ready to upgrade from drip), it's a great option.
A relatively fresh coarse grind, good, cold water, and the time to both heat and brew, and that's all you need for a great cup. The french press method eschews disposable filters and gives the drinker complete control over the brew time and the end-strength of their coffee. Various models and types exist, from the ever-popular Bodum models to the affordable IKEA Upphetta and the dual-filtered Espro, so prices vary depending on the size and brand you go in for. Even so, those of you who nominated your French presses spoke highly of the control it gave you and the delicious coffee as a result.
The history of the AeroPress is almost as fun to read as the AeroPress itself is to use, especially considering the AeroPress is the only non-sport/toy product Aerobe makes. We love the portable, single-cup maker, and even walked you through getting the best cup with one, and many of you nominated the Aeropress because it's fast, cleanup is a snap, and you get a quick, well-extracted, delicious cup in a matter of minutes (seen in the video above, although clearly it's a bit of an exaggeration).
The shorter brewing time and disposable paper filters may be a cause for concern to some, but filters are widely available in several-hundred packs, and the fact that the AeroPress uses air pressure to extract more flavor from the (relatively) finely ground coffee in the chamber makes for a more well-bodied cup. Best of all, the AeroPress will only set you back about $25 regardless of where you buy one. The AeroPress' shape and size make it absolutely ideal for taking a great cup of coffee with you anywhere you go, which is essential if you don't want to give up a good cup just because you're visiting friends or traveling for work.
Pour-Over filtration brewing isn't exactly new, but it has surged in popularity recently, partially due to a whole new group of people discovering the method who had previously known nothing more than push-pot office brew and Mr. Coffee drip pots. Pour-over brewing is fairly simple: a glass or plastic cone is mounted on top of a carafe, and a paper or cloth filter is used to store the coffee in the filter. You then boil good, cold water to the proper temperature, and slowly pour the water over the freshly ground coffee you put in the filter. You have control over the amount of coffee that goes into the filter, and the temperature of the water, but not so much the level of extraction (beyond through the amount of coffee used, of course).
The end result is a stronger extraction than you might expect because of how long the water stays in contact with the coffee as it passes down through the grinds and through the filter into the carafe below. You also get a more well-balanced cup but one that's still smooth, blending the characteristics of drip and pressed coffee. Depending on the model you purchase, you can spend as little as $25 (for the Clever Coffee Dripper, for example) or as much as $40 for a Chemex, not including filters and accessories. Detachable filter models are surprisingly portable, too, and can be used with thermoses, any available carafe, or even right into your coffee cup.
The Technivorm Moccamaster thermal drip coffee maker picked up enough nominations of any individual brewing method that we had to feature it (that, and its competitor and natural alternative, the Bonavita BV1800). The Moccamaster is a handmade thermal pot that represents a significant upgrade to traditional drip models. The Moccamaster (and the Bonavita) both strive to bring the temperature of the water up to the proper level in an independent heating area, away from the coffee and the carafe, and only then introduce the water to the coffee stored in the filter bed above the carafe. The Moccamaster and the Bonavita both have models with thermal carafes on top of their heating elements (if you don't like the idea of a glass carafe on top of the element), and they're built to only allow the water to extract for the proper length of time before exiting the filter bed—all design elements that many more affordable drip makers completely neglect, in favor of features like timers and attached grinders.
The Moka Pot, also known as the Moka Espresso or the Moka Elite, were invented in the early 1930s and have been making killer coffee ever since. It's incredibly popular in Europe and Central and South America, and while it's not as popular in the United States, a few of us here at Lifehacker love them, even if they're not the easiest coffee makers to find in your local department store (although they are $25 at Amazon, so there's that). I've seen them in thrift stores, old and well-loved models available for a few bucks, with people passing by not knowing what they're seeing.
When brewing with the Moka pot, water in the bottom chamber of the pot is heated and steam pressure pushes it up through a central basket that contains the ground coffee, and then finally into the top chamber where the coffee eventually rests, ready to pour. Since steam pressure is important and the water is in the bottom chamber, the pots are usually made of aluminum or stainless steel, and go right on top of the heating element when brewing. Just open the top, clean it out, pour water into the bottom, add coffee to the center basket, and pop it on the stove. The Moka pot's classic gurgle signals that the pot is finished brewing and ready to serve. They're super-easy to use (although they get seriously hot), and while you don't get much control over the nuances of the brew, the final product has an extraction ratio more like espresso than drip, and has a flavor and balance to match.
There you have it, the top five, based on your nominations earlier in the week. Now it's time to vote for the winner:
Honorable mentions this week go out to Keurig Single-Cup Brewers, which came surprisingly close to making the top five (They only missed by one or two nominations). Regardless of your opinion of pod-coffee makers, many of you appreciate the convenience and ease-of-use that Keurig's brewers bring to the mix. Similarly, Nespresso's pod-based brewers came pretty close to the top as well.
Another honorable mention goes out to vacuum pot coffee makers, like the Yama and the Cona, which use a tiny amount of ground coffee to yield a delicious, strong cup of coffee. We also want to highlight the only cold brew method that made the upper echelons of the nominees, the Toddy Cold Brew System, which makes a flavorful, strong cup for hot or iced coffee in no time.
Of course, we would be remiss if we didn't point out that regardless of the coffee maker you use, if you put terrible coffee into it, you're going to get an awful brew out of it. Many of you pointed out starting with quality beans and a good even grinder shouldn't be overlooked in the rush to find a great gadget to make your morning cup. In short, even the best brewing techniques can't turn lead into gold.
Have something to say about one of the contenders? Want to make the case for your personal favorite, even if it wasn't included in the list? Remember, the top five are based on your most popular nominations from the call for contenders thread from earlier in the week. Don't just complain about the top five, let us know what your preferred alternative is—and make your case for it—in the discussions below.
The Hive Five is based on reader nominations. As with most Hive Five posts, if your favorite was left out, it's not because we hate it—it's because it didn't get the nominations required in the call for contenders post to make the top five. We understand it's a bit of a popularity contest, but if you have a favorite, we want to hear about it. Have a suggestion for the Hive Five? Send us an email at tips+hivefive@lifehacker.com!
My neighbor’s dog was just accidentally let out by a contractor. She is a two year old black and white pitbull wearing a pink collar and answers to Sasha. She is incredibly sweet and loves people and other dogs. She is chipped and their contact info is on her collar.
Last seen at running up NJ avenue, NW. Lives near 4th and N st NW.
The Hate Map is a heat map of offensive messages made on Twitter.
The map shows the rough location of every geocoded tweet in the United States from June 2012 - April 2013 that contained one or more of ten 'hate words'.
Every tweet was read by a human to determine that only messages meant as negative were used on the map. Users of the map can view three different heat maps, one for homophobic tweets, one for racist tweets and one anti-diasabled tweets. The user can also view individual heat maps for any one of the ten offensive words.
At first sight the heat maps appear to be very simialr to a population heat map of America but if you look in more detail you can see that there is more than just population density at work in hate messages on Twitter. For example, relatively densely populated California, seems to be also relatively free of hate speech.
You can find out more about the methodology behind the making of this map at the excellent Floating Sheep blog.
If you have any animal/pet photos you’d like to share please shoot me an email to princeofpetworth(at)gmail(dot)com with ‘Animal Fix’ in the title and say the name of your pet and your neighborhood. Your photos will go into the queue (usually 3-4 weeks wait) and will be posted in the order I receive them. If you’ve already entered your pet and would like to do so again – that’s no problem – just space the entries out a bit.
“Cecilia, a soft coated wheaten terrier trying to enjoy the bottom of an empty icecream tub.”
“Rufio (Black) and Tigerlily (Tabby) still inseparable after 6 years. (Columbia Heights)”
“Charlie in Capitol hill. Testing out a new dog walker.”
Recently I went to Carnegie Hall for, I believe, the second time in my life, to see Gabriel Kahane and Orpheus Chamber Orchestra perform Gabriel's "Guide to the 48 States." I went to college with Gabriel, where our closest contact was probably when I was an assistant stage manager on a musical he co-wrote. Since then he's established himself as a songwriter, singer and composer, one of the polymath hopes of classical music. The New York Times Magazine called him “a one-man cultural Cuisinart.” He's composed concert music for himself, string quartets, and orchestras; he wrote the music and lyrics for a musical at the Public Theater; he first attracted attention for a gorgeous art song cycle called "Craigslistlieder," settings of text from Craigslist posts. But what I have come to love is his, for lack of a better word, pop music. He's put out two albums of beautiful, lush, interesting songs, simultaneously catchy and complicated. The only way I know to explain it is by analogy to books—on the spectrum from literary to commercial, Gabriel's songs are way at the literary end.
The fact that I don't know that musical equivalent, that I'm not sufficiently versed in the context, the terminology, really the field as a whole, reared its head and its implications at Carnegie. I went there to see a musician I love do a different kind of his music, and the difference was an obstacle.
I felt like I was missing something. Like I should like this music. Like I should get it. So I've asked for help.
That night's composition, a commission by Orpheus (for baritone, electric guitar, banjo, and chamber orchestra), is made up of eleven short sections, settings of the WPA's American Guide Series. The Guides were the result of a works project that set unemployed writers to creating travel guides for their states. The piece is described by Gabriel in the program as “a celebration of democracy.” It is a love-song to America, and a eulogy for the idea of America it honors. There are cowboys and California settlers, “A Ballade of Former Tramp-Days,” a spoken and sung history of black Americans in the nation's capitol, and a beautiful and melancholic ode to Manhattan. In a section of text written in the voice of the guides by Gabriel himself, the writers of the Guides are honored, “working as carpenters of language with words as tools.” This section ends, “And the makers of this Guide have faith, too, that their book will survive; in the future, when it no longer fills a current need as a handbook for tourists, it will serve as a reference source well-thumbed by school children and cherished by scholars, as a treasure trove of history, a picture of a period, and as a fadeless film of a civilization.”
I understood that impulse, Gabriel's and the writers', and appreciated what they both were honoring. What I didn't understand was the music. There were moments I loved, but they were either heart-swelling words like those or the musical sections that sounded like Gabriel's songs. (They were the ones that sounded like songs at all.) Other sections of the piece sounded like... orchestral noise.
For help, I got on Gchat with a friend of mine who works in the classical music world and knows contemporary classical music well. Like me, like Gabriel, he is under 35. (Since I am introducing him as knowing contemporary classical music well, I, unfortunately, think his age needs mentioning.) We talked about music, difficult art, and playing fancy dress-up at Carnegie Hall.
Jaime: There were two big questions I was left with after the performance: dissonance vs. lack of melody, and appreciation vs. enjoyment—or vs. effect. The first is sort of a terminology thing, a where-does-this-fit-in-the-world-of-music. The second is more about purpose.
Anonymous Under-35 Friend Who Knows Contemporary Classical Music: Can I presumptuously assume that they're related in that there were sections that you enjoyed more and realized that there was a technical common ground to your enjoyment?
Jaime: Definitely. They almost perfectly correlated to the sections that had melody. Because first I was thinking about dissonance. If I can make you my musical therapist for a second. And I was thinking, I'm fine with dissonance! I should be getting this. I like my Stravinsky, the piece [Schoenberg's Verklärte Nacht] that was played before Gabriel's. But a complete lack of melody is something else.
AUFWKCCM: Well it's funny you mention Stravinsky in that context, because one of the things that every good music student discusses about the Rite of Spring is that the melody is pretty.
Jaime: Okay when I said Stravinsky I basically meant the music to the one ballet we saw like five years ago. But this need to posture and pretend to "get" stuff is another thing going on here. I wanted to *get* Gabriel's stuff.
AUFWKCCM: Let's leave the "getting it" for a second, because I think that's a huge issue that plays out differently for listeners depending on where exactly they're coming from. So forgive me for treating you really like a therapy patient, but I'm going to quiz you a little: did you sense a different connection to the piece when Gabriel was singing vs when he wasn't, regardless of what was going on harmonically?
Jaime: No, because there were two modes of singing: some of it was melodic, some of it was jumpy and jangly and all over the place. (Melodic not necessarily meaning pretty and tonal, but just, like, had a line to it, if that makes sense.)
AUFWKCCM: It does. So for you, it's not necessarily about having Words to listen to that makes it more enjoyable, it's a more musical question?
Jaime: Definitely. As in: this music sounds so unmusical that I don't enjoy it/it doesn't have an effect on me. But first, I want to understand what's going on musically then. I don't want to be the asshole looking at abstract art and saying "my kid could do that!"
AUFWKCCM: Exactly. I'm really interested in that, not just in this piece, but in general. Especially for listeners like yourself who, in other non-musical artistic pursuits, are eyeball-deep in that sort of Challenging Art or whatever. Because there's certainly nothing in Gabriel's piece that is thornier than the Stravinsky Violin Concerto from the ballet, for instance. But he moves back and forth between harmonic languages.
Jaime: The Stravinsky ballet is also probably a cheat, too, because there's pretty dancing the whole time. But there were sections of Gabriel's piece that sounded like noise to me. I think it was a different thing than just dissonance.
AUFWKCCM: You're right—there are a lot of elements besides just crunchy notes that contribute to the noise effect. But I hesitate to go down the road of "if you understood these technical aspects, you would enjoy this music", because I definitely don't think that's true.
Jaime: Okay. So then what is it that I'm missing?
AUFWKCCM: First of all, you're not. It's not a failing to not enjoy certain pieces or pieces of pieces. Like when you look at abstract art, what goes through your head when you don't like something?
Jaime: "Eh, that's ugly." or "Eh. That doesn't make me feel anything." or "Eh. I don't find that interesting to look at." (I have been known to sit in front of Clyfford Still canvasses for very long times.) But also I have been seeing—in media, in museums, in my grandmother's house—abstract art for my whole life.
AUFWKCCM: Exactly. And I think for several reasons contemporary classical music hasn't allowed listeners, or maybe invited listeners, to have that same sort of context that allows them to approach pieces with some confidence in their personal viewpoint. Do you think being in Carnegie Hall made a difference in your experience of Gabriel's piece?
Jaime: Maybe. I think liking his singer/songwriter/"pop" albums did. Because I know I like some of what he does. And I feel like I like him as an artist because of that. So I felt I *should* like this, because Carnegie + that. It had the stamp of institutional approval, and the prior track record. But that raises another question. The audience at Carnegie was relatively young. For a thing like that. I assume I wasn't the only person there coming in liking Gabriel's albums and seeing this largely because of that. His albums aren't unchallenging. But they're accessible. Now I'm not sure what the question is. "How was I supposed to move from Gabriel's albums to this?" How can it be accessed, I guess.
AUFWKCCM: That to me is The Question. Or is related to it. Because we have this conversation all the time about "indie classical" or "genre-crossing music" that is supposed to define this group of artists who do different things in different parts of the musical world, and the Business seems to want to make that into a commercial trend (young people at Carnegie Hall!). But what it really is, to me, is artists who are working with a lot of interests and influences and saying to listeners: All of this is me, you don't have to like it all but it's all genuine and it all has something I want to convey to you. So the access for someone who knows and likes Gabriel's pop music, for instance, is seeing something familiar in sections of the piece (the cowboy song, the Chicago and NY songs, all of which could basically be on his albums) and experiencing them in a different context.
Jaime: The question I'm left with, then, is what sort of access a person needs to have a chance of appreciating/being moved by the really weird parts that just sounded weird to me.
AUFWKCCM: Here's something to chew on: What either from the experience of that concert or from your life in general has a chance of spurring you on to go to more concerts of stuff you don't know that you might like or might not?
Jaime: Hmm. If I came to this without any sort of personal investment, I might've left thinking, "That was weird. I'm probably not gonna do that again." I mean, Carnegie itself is a pretty lovely place to see a thing. And this made me want to learn more about the WPA Guides to the States. But the one moment that inspired a "more like that, please" response in me was when the entire orchestra—all these adult people, seeming like serious musicians (Gabriel didn't seem unskilled or unserious but he was there with his shaggy hair and young self and wide-lapelled blazer and jeans)—the one moment was when the whole orchestra set down their instruments and stood up and sang in a chorus. I had no idea what was going on, but I knew that I liked it.
AUFWKCCM: So do you think that the formality of the rest of the experience, besides the prettiness of Carnegie, is sort of a turn-off?
Jaime: No, I like that. It's fun, like playing dress-up. I liked going to the bar beforehand and seeing all the old people in their fancy clothes, and me wearing Converse with my dress-up clothes.
AUFWKCCM: A-ha! That's really interesting to me, because it comes up a lot when I'm talking to people about how to create an experience that "young people" or "cool people" will be excited about. The problem, of course, is that it's not as simple as like putting serious music in casual spaces, because people like the dress-up experience, too. BUT, I think it creates a situation that doesn't foster a lot of interest in experiencing more of that Difficult Music. I think it creates a situation where even smart listeners are looking for that moment that you mentioned, when the performance breaks out of the formality. And that's maybe not the best thing for creating access to the difficult art part of the experience.
Jaime: I think the formality of the space mostly inclined me to like it more... or to feel like I should. It legitimized it. It's what told me, "This is Quality Music. This is Important." And so I was left feeling that I'd missed something. Whereas if I heard weird shit in a warehouse in DUMBO, I'd think, "This is some weird shit."
AUFWKCCM: Fair enough. But if you only do it once a year or less, I don't think you'll ever be in a position to get beyond the point of feeling like it's important but not liking it, as opposed to actually having some context for enjoying it. That context comes from hearing a lot of music of various types and being able to compare them, so a very occasional fun dress-up date, though totally valid as an experience as I said before, will not give you that.
Jaime: But what about the plenty of people who were at Carnegie because they (we) like Gabriel's other work. And have no aural context for the—weird? challenging? a-melodic?—music? I mean, I went to a Philip Glass opera thinking I hated listening to Philip Glass, and I LOVED it. I loved the music. So that found an access route that didn't require copious knowledge.
AUFWKCCM: That is an excellent example, because Philip Glass and other minimalists are tried and true gateway drugs into the world of "weird / challenging / a-melodic" contemporary classical music. I think Gabriel is a tricky example because the bridge between his pop music and his classical music is not quite so sturdy, but when I went to "Einstein on the Beach" at BAM, which is a serious challenge by many standards, it was packed with people who probably don't spend a lot of time listening to really harmonically or melodically thorny contemporaries of Glass. So for me, the question becomes, should those people want to walk down the path and experience other contemporary classical music, or is it OK that they don't? And more specifically a parallel for your line of questioning, should you want or need to understand and like the tricky parts of Gabriel's piece, or is it OK that you take away a mix of enjoyment and bafflement?
Jaime: Well am I missing something that would let me enjoy the tricky parts? Or are they just unpleasant to listen to?
AUFWKCCM: That's my point: tricky is in the eyes of the beholder. There were probably Orpheus subscribers in the audience for Gabriel's show that hated the orchestra singing and the cowboy song, and probably felt it was unpleasant in the same way you felt the thorny art music bits were. So that's why I'm more interested in what gets people intrigued enough to come to something else. Like having gone to "Satyagraha" and knowing Gabriel's music both pop and not, would you come to like a Steve Reich or David Lang concert (probably not knowing much or anything about those people) if I told you it's sort of a triangulation with these things you've experienced?
Jaime: (Here I go opening another can of worms): I'd go if it were cheap or free. I'd risk a few hours, but not fifty bucks.
AUFWKCCM: Amen. I mean, I feel the same way in many cases. Would you need me to personally recommend it?
Jaime: But I'd also need someone like you to tell me what to go to. I wouldn't seek it out nor know how.
AUFWKCCM: JINX. I understand that, but it makes me sort of sad that people who are totally game for weird shit and seek it out in other artistic areas need an adult who actually likes that stuff.
Jaime: Well I just don't know where to find it. I know where to find it in theatre because I worked in that world for a while and, honestly, still rely on trusted friends to tell me what good weird stuff is out there that I might not know about. For music I just don't have a dozen knowledgeable friends, I have one. (Hi, it's you.)
AUFWKCCM: The problem from my perspective is that I'm conscious of liking stuff that is not obviously enjoyable, so it's a little hard to judge what to endorse and invite.
Jaime: Okay, so you liked the parts that I keep calling jangly weird a-melodic stuff, right? (And please what should it properly be called?)
AUFWKCCM: Yes. And lots of stuff that's "weirder" than that, too. And again without going into a boring technical rant, it's not BECAUSE of any particular feature that I like it. For me it's the way that the music, in Gabriel's piece or any other, interacts with other music that I've heard. Which is why I keep harping on context.
Jaime: Could you go a little into the technical? What was I hearing?
AUFWKCCM: There are a bunch of different things on a technical level. I think the things you were reacting to as weird were one of a few different things in the piece—a lot of it was rhythmic activity where the meter doesn't stay the same long enough for there to be a real followable beat, which can be very disorienting (and feel related to melody and harmony at times). And then there are parts where the orchestra is just playing sort of textural sounds under Gabriel talking, which do not sound like pleasant music at all. That's partly a texture thing and partly plain ol' crunchy harmonies that sound like “noise.”
Jaime: Do you think the fact that you can recognize them is part of why you (can) like them?
AUFWKCCM: It's related, but as I said before, the recognition of specific techniques is really a sidebar to just listening to a lot of different music and getting enjoyment out of how different composers and pieces explore different ideas and how they relate to each other. Occasionally, I'll have an "Ooh, fancy!" moment, but that's not the core of it. And I think many composers working today would be terrified at the thought of their music being enjoyed only by people who understand the nuts and bolts of it.
Jaime: So it's an acclimation thing.
AUFWKCCM: It is. But I really hope it is or can be an acclimation thing that is not also a medicinal thing.
Jaime: Maybe I was hoping that the weirdnesses in Gabriel's "pop" music would have acclimated me more for the other weirdnesses in his orchestral music. Maybe that was part of the disappointment. But, shit, is wine the metaphor? That I'm like ten years old. I'm like, ew. But if I try a little more, I'll figure out what I like. And be able to appreciate the subtleties. But I can still always hate chardonnay. NOT THAT THIS SHOULD ALL HAPPEN WHEN I'M TEN. IN THE WINE METAPHOR.
AUFWKCCM: It's not my favorite metaphor because it reveals your extremely inappropriate childhood but also it implies the same Need For Knowledge that allows wine experts to detect hints of balsa wood or whatever the hell, but you're not off base. The point is that what you learn you learn from trying shit out and being like, yes/no, and some nos are going to stay nos, and that doesn't mean you're just not ready for it.
Jaime: So if I didn't hate the whole thing, and I like music and being the youngest person in an audience in a fancy hall, I should keep trying. Are you just trying to save the entire classical music industry through my complete lack of ticket-buying power?
AUFWKCCM: It's a long game.
Jaime Green is the managing editor of Columbia Journal. Photo of the ensemble singing by Matt Dine. Photo of Gabriel Kehane by Josh Goleman.
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My brother and I have been standing in line—we are the line—for 10 minutes while the man in front of us sets up his payments for four otter pops and one sucker.
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Bialetti Moka Pot
Recently I went to Carnegie Hall for, I believe, the second time in my life, to see Gabriel Kahane and Orpheus Chamber Orchestra perform Gabriel's "Guide to the 48 States." I went to college with Gabriel, where our closest contact was probably when I was an assistant stage manager on a musical he co-wrote. Since then he's established himself as a songwriter, singer and composer, one of the polymath hopes of classical music. The New York Times Magazine called him “a one-man cultural Cuisinart.” He's composed concert music for himself, string quartets, and orchestras; he wrote the music and lyrics for a musical at the Public Theater; he first attracted attention for a gorgeous art song cycle called "Craigslistlieder," settings of text from Craigslist posts. But what I have come to love is his, for lack of a better word, pop music. He's put out two albums of beautiful, lush, interesting songs, simultaneously catchy and complicated. The only way I know to explain it is by analogy to books—on the spectrum from literary to commercial, Gabriel's songs are way at the literary end.
