By Jared Jones
In the 9 seasons that It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia has been on the air, the gang (Charlie, Dennis, Mac, Dee, Frank) has downed 2,317 beers on camera, as well as 140 shots, 18 jugs of riot punch, and at least 8 soda cans full of wine. That’s enough alcohol to kill 750 of even the most alcohol-tolerant preteens and enough liquid to drown the entire population of Glover, Vermont. Pretty impressive, those numbers I just made up.
The gang likes to drink is what I’m getting at, and tonight’s 10th season premiere will see them attempt to break Wade Boggs’ infamous 107 beer record while on a cross-country flight. I can think of no group of fictional alcoholics more up to the task than the Always Sunny crew, and to prove that, here are seven episodes of Charlie, Dennis, Mac, Frank, and Big Bird at their finest drunkest.
“Chardee MacDennis: Game of Games” — Season 7

Obviously, one cannot begin a countdown of the gang’s drunkest moments without first mentioning the incredibly intricate, incredibly debaucherous drinking game they invented: CharDee MacDennis. It’s a game that not only challenges the mind, body, and spirit, but perhaps most importantly, the ability to consume the ingredients necessary to make to a cake while locked in a dog cage. It’s also a game that gets you absolutely shitfaced in less than 15 minutes. Suck on that efficiency rate, Esurance!
“Hundred Dollar Baby” — Season 2

There are only two ways to become a successful underground street fighter. The first is alcohol. The second is black market steroids. When combined, they can turn even a loveable dope like Charlie Kelly into a vicious manbeast hellbent on destroying everything and everyone around him in a fit of blackout rage.
“Who Got Sweet Dee Pregnant?” — Season 6

After Dee reveals that she got pregnant at the Paddy’s Pub Halloween party and that one of the gang is the father, Mac, Dennis, and Charlie set out on a Hangover-style quest to figure out who did the dirty deed. Being that they were all “browned out” at the party in question, they enlist the help of Artemis and the McPoyle brothers to replay the night back to them. The lesson here is one as old as time itself: Dedicate one member of your group as the sober guy or risk banging your sister.
“Mac’s Banging the Waitress” — Season 4

No matter how hard I try, I have yet to convince my local pizzeria that “The Charlie Kelly Challenge” is a great idea.
“If they fail to drink 24 beers *and* eat an entire pizza in one sitting, they have to pay for all of it,” I’ve said. “And if they die trying, it’s free publicity!”
How the folks and Ginero’s Fun Time Pizza Parlor have failed to understand this win-win scenario continues to boggle my mind.
“The Gang Gets Invincible” — Season 3

For all the crap marijuana gets, “The Gang Gets Invincible” proves outright that alcohol is truly *the* gateway drug that can lead to far worse things — specifically, LSD and football-related concussions.
“The Gang Gives Frank an Intervention” — Season 5

Of course, alcohol can also lead to the invention of great things, like wine in a can. If you ask me, that’s worth the risk.
“The High School Reunion, Part 2: The Gang’s Revenge” — Season 7

It’s sometimes easy to forget how often It’s Always Sunny relies on an unreliable narrator to construct its increasingly insane storylines. The show is less an objective tale of 5 misanthropic alcoholics and more a fantasy as viewed through the beer goggles of the alcoholics themselves. That is to say, even when the gang doesn’t appear drunk, they are almost positively hammered at the time and oblivious to how the real world actually views them. It’s like that scene in Beerfest where Barry Badrinath picks up what he believes to be a smoking hot woman with his smooth dance moves, only to realize the next day that he drunkenly hooked up with Monique pre-her massive weight loss.
Drunk confidence is the driving force of Always Sunny, and no episode demonstrated this better than the season 7 finale, which was capped off by a hilariously unaware dance number set to the tune of George Michael’s “Freedom! ’90.”
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