Shared posts

16 May 01:01

TT Culinary Institute: Barbecued Ribs

by concierge@tastingtable.com (Tasting Table)
We've cracked the secret of the perfect rack of ribs

So you're craving tender, flavorful, lip-smacking ribs, but you don't have a spare five or six hours to stand around a fire. You still deserve a righteous rack, no?

Whether you're a sucker for spareribs or crazy for baby backs, crib these smart, simple, fuss-free rib cooking tips and you'll have time to grill and chill all summer long.

Here's how we hacked the rack.


Keep reading on TastingTable.com
 
 
16 May 00:48

Let’s Not Make Such a Big Deal About Genital Herpes

by Elianna Lev

[body_image width='1024' height='681' path='images/content-images/2015/05/14/' crop='images/content-images-crops/2015/05/14/' filename='lets-not-make-such-a-big-deal-about-genital-herpes-body-image-1431631417.jpg' id='56290']

This is not going to happen. Photo via Flickr user Jes.

This article originally appeared on VICE Canada.

Comedian Sarah Silverman has a bit where she tells the audience that one in six people have genital herpes. Then, she asks those in the audience who have the virus to raise their hands. The time I saw her perform, a dead silence fell over the room as Silverman squinted her eyes and raised her hand over her brow in an effort to spot any brave souls. Although statistically improbable, apparently no one in the room had the virus, though it was far more likely that they didn't want to be a punchline at a crowded comedy show. And, if you've ever known a struggling actor who's dragged his or her ass to audition for a herpes commercial, you'll know that being the poster child for the virus is certainly not a sought after position.

That's slowly changing though.

According to ProjectAccept.org, a nonprofit that focuses on being a "voice and vehicle" for those affected by herpes and HPV, before medicine was available for herpes in the late 70s, standard medical textbooks made no mention of it. Stigma started at the tail-end of the 70s and early 80s, around the time when pharmaceutical companies started manufacturing and marketing antiviral drugs to prevent and help speed up recovery of an outbreak. In 1982, Time magazine published a cover story called "The New Scarlet Letter" ("Herpes, an incurable virus, threatens to undo the sexual revolution," was the tagline), which featured a woman with a shameful expression, in mid-conversation with a man, who was not happy to be there. All this seemed incredibly overblown for what is essentially an uncomfortable skin condition that lasts up to two weeks in the nether regions.

While a handful of high profile people have gone on the record as having herpes—like retired porn star Belladonna, actor Anne Heche, and VICE's Tracie Egan Morrissey—it's not exactly a condition that will elicit the same amount of sympathy as, say, Kim Kardashian's psoriasis, or Kate Middleton's eczema.

Recently, though, there's been a noticeable shift in social attitudes, thanks in large part to Ella Dawson, a gleeful 22-year-old who happily took on the role of being the herpes poster girl.

The New York–based social media assistant contracted the virus two years ago. While she experienced the predictable shame and shock—not to mention sore vagina—that comes with such a diagnosis, she's since learned to revel in the misfortune of contracting it. So far, it's worked favorably.

Last month, Dawson published a piece for Women's Health titled, " Why I love telling people I have herpes." It immediately went (excuse me) viral.

"I always knew there needed to be a conversation about herpes and I always suspected I might be one of the people who would lead the conversation," she says. "I always made it a long-term career goal to be the face of herpes. But I never expected the internet to lose its mind immediately."

While there have been predictable troll-y comments surrounding her confession, Dawson says reaction has been overwhelmingly heart-warming. She's even managed to attract a bunch of writing gigs out of it.

"It was clear that people were ready to have this conversation," she says. "There was this collective sigh of relief. I was overjoyed and excited to see how ready people are and how receptive people have been."

Dennis Williams, coordinator for Health Services Peer Education for Planned Parenthood in Toronto says often times, the most traumatic thing about contracting herpes is the diagnosis.

"It tends to be an emotional process for them," he says. "The stigma ends up having more of an impact on their life than the health impact of the actual infection."

Herpes is a tricky virus, which is why it's so easy to spread, but it's mostly harmless. There's herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1) and herpes simplex virus type 2 (HSV-2), which can both be spread by touching, kissing, and skin-to-skin sexual contact between all the orifices. It's most contagious when there's an open, seeping sore, though it can be spread without any symptoms. Some people pick up the virus as children, through sharing drinks, or being kissed by a relative. Symptoms range for everyone, depending on things like stress levels and immune system, which is why some people carry the virus but never know it. Some people will experience sore blisters, while others won't feel a damn thing.

The times that the virus has the potential to be a health issue is when it's contracted during a pregnancy, which can affect gestation. There's also risk of transmitting the virus to the baby if there's an outbreak during birth, though those are rare circumstances.

Having herpes can also increase your risk of contracting HIV, if exposed to the virus. There's also been a study linking cervical cancer to genital herpes, but only among women who are also infected with human papillomavirus (HPV).

Williams says he aims to help those diagnosed with the virus understand that it's an incredibly common condition. That can be challenging to wrap your head around since there's still the pesky impression that it's a shameful thing to contract. He applauds Dawson for speaking out.

"It happens to so many people that it's kind of strange and unnecessary when people think they're alone when it happens to them," he says.

Dawson admits she's still sensitive about herpes humor, which is tough since it's often an easy go-to gag for comedians and sketch shows. She reminds herself that it's simply a result of stigma that's produced by society and not something she experiences daily with friends, co-workers, and family.

"You come to realize how so insignificant it is, in terms of the life you live. It stops being something that bothers you."

By being so frank about something that's not particularly sexy, Dawson hopes she and others can continue to change the way people come to terms with it.

"My goal would be for when people get diagnosed and Google herpes, instead of seeing terrifying WebMD results, they see people like me who've lived normal, awesome lives," she says.

Follow Elianna Lev on Twitter.

16 May 00:43

What Would Your Name Be if You Were Born Today?

by Miss Cellania

Now that the hottest baby names for 2014 have been revealed, it’s time to have some fun with them. Time built a generator that calculates what your name would be if you were born today. For example, if the name you have is the third most popular girl’s name in the year you were born, you’d get the third most popular name now. It also shows you the name of that rank in decades past.



These are the results of one of my many names.  -via Metafilter

16 May 00:31

Denney and The Jets : Mexican Coke (2014) (Burger Records)

by noreply@blogger.com (Me and my shadow)



01. Water To Wine 02. Bye Bye Queenie 03. Broke 04. Darlin' 05. Alabama Man 06. Hooked 07. Mama's Got The Blues 08. Pain Pills 09. Runnin' Through The Woods 10. Charlie's Blues

Premier album de Denney and The Jets chez nos amis de Burger Records. Tout ça fleure bon le rock garage matiné de southern rock. L'album est d'excellente tenue, peu de morceaux faiblards. On nage en pleine euphorie. Z'ont encore une fois eu du nez, ces mecs de chez Burger !
15 May 16:19

Amazing Women Who Prove You Can Watch Whatever Your Want On Netflix

by Kerry McGuire

Some people let society tell them what to do, what to think, and how to live. Not these women! They do what they want! And they prove you really can watch whatever you want on Netflix!

 

Gilda S. – The World Traveler

Gilda goes after what she wants, volunteering at an animal shelter during the day and watching foreign films on Netflix at night (33 features and counting!). “I’m okay with reading subtitles,” she said. “I don’t care that they’re annoying.” Gilda started watching foreign movies as a way of seeming cultured while she attended Penn State, and continued after she graduated because “it just felt right at that point.” According to Gilda, when she has someone over for movie night, “They’re always intimidated by my queue.” But Gilda just don’t care! Thank you, Gilda.

 

Wendy R. – The Hopeless Rom(Com)-antic

Wendy only watches Rom Coms and she doesn’t care who knows it! Her Recently Watched list is a rundown of all the classic best rom-coms. But she doesn’t stop with the good ones; she’ll watch any rom-com out there—even The Switch! People tell her that she might be viewing unrealistic portrayals of love, but she doesn’t give a hoot! She’s going to keep watching rom-coms and only rom-coms until she dies or is rescued from this mundane life by a real-life prince charming on a razor scooter! You go, Wendy!

 

Gracie G. – The Feminist

Gracie is a dedicated closet feminist and her Netflix watching habits reflect that. “My only category is ‘Strong Female Lead’. I like watching things that I can relate to as a woman so I end up not watching most things,” she said. “I just wanna support the feminist cause in my own small way.” Brave, Gracie. Very brave.

 

 

Ramona P. – The Tomboy

Ramona will watch any superhero movie or TV show she wants to! “When I was younger, people told me Batman was for boys, but I didn’t care!” she said. She’s watched Batman, Batman Returns, Batman Forever, Batman Beyond, and all the Dark Knight movies, too. “I’ve even watched Daredevil. The movie AND the TV show. They’re not always good but I’d rather not think about how far women still have to go in society.” Keep letting that light shine, Ramona!

 

Chelsea W. – The Educationalist

Chelsea proves that education is important to her by watching every documentary on Netflix. From Jiro Dreams of Sushi to Cosmos to Food, Inc., don’t recommend a documentary to her because if it’s on Netflix she’s already seen it. “I don’t think watching Netflix should be fun. That’s just me. That’s what I enjoy.” Chelsea’s favorite doc is Dear Zachary because it is “irredeemably sad” and “hard to watch.” You do you, Chelsea!

 

So take it from these women, you can do whatever you want, as long as it’s watching something on Netflix! What are you waiting for? Go out and press “play!”

Amazing Women Who Prove You Can Watch Whatever Your Want On Netflix is a post from: Reductress

15 May 09:41

Los juegos de mesa son los nuevos videojuegos

by Iago Fernández

[body_image width='960' height='1280' path='images/content-images/2015/05/15/' crop='images/content-images-crops/2015/05/15/' filename='los-juegos-de-mesa-son-los-nuevos-videojuegos-765-body-image-1431676750.jpg' id='56366']

Ya no son solo para pajilleros que viven con sus padres. La cosa ha crecido y en España existen varios casos de éxito a partir de campañas de crowdfunding, como Dracoideas que han montado su propia editorial y un juego de cartas sobre la Segunda Guerra Mundial. Unos chicos de Vitoria han financiado su juego de ciclismo Cycling Partyy la campaña de Skull Tales, para el que pedían 30.000 euros, ya lleva 45.000 en solo doce días. Hablamos con Gonzalo Maldonado, un adicto a los juegos de mesa y creador del blog La Gaceta de los Tableros para entender de dónde viene esta fiebre por pasar las horas entre cartas y dados.

VICE: ¿Cuáles son las muestras más visibles del 'boom' de los juegos de mesa?

Gonzalo: Cada semana hay más novedades de juegos de mesa que películas estrenadas y cada vez asiste más gente a las ferias. Devir, una editorial gorda, vende un 20-30% más que hace tres años. En España la cosa va más lenta que Alemania, Francia o Polonia, pero cada vez hay más tiendas online y físicas. Sigue siendo un mercado pequeño, claro, no es como en Estados Unidos que todos los meses se inaugura un boardgame café nuevo.

¿Qué es un boardgame café?

Es un sitio donde pagas cinco dólares y puedes sentarte a probar cualquier juego mientras los del bar explican cómo se juega y comes algo rico o te bebes una cerveza. Yo mismo estoy pensando en montar una editorial con unos amigos y poder editar un juego algún día. O editar juegos que me gusten y que no se hayan editado aún en España.

¿Tan fácil es editar tu propio juego de mesa?

Bueno, gracias a plataformas de crowdfunding como Verkami o Kickstarter cada vez más gente intenta publicar su propio juego. También es cierto que hay muy poco margen, a no ser que tu juego se convierta en Los Colonos del Catán.

[body_image width='1280' height='871' path='images/content-images/2015/05/15/' crop='images/content-images-crops/2015/05/15/' filename='los-juegos-de-mesa-son-los-nuevos-videojuegos-765-body-image-1431676786.jpg' id='56367']

"Como siga a este ritmo, la siguiente en irse al trastero será mi mujer"

¿En qué momento te enganchaste a los tableros?

Cuando era un adolescente deforme que se frustraba viendo Al salir de clase . Un amigo flipado nos hizo el lío a mí y a otros pajeros. Ya podía haber una fiesta de suecas de Erasmus, que todos los fines de semana quedábamos para jugar al Risk y un juego nos llevaba a otro. Alta tensión, Los Colonos del Catán, El grande... Jugar a juegos de mesa me estimulaba más que salir hasta las 8 de la mañana. Más adelante, como soy periodista de formación, pensé en crear un blog contando mis batallas con los juegos de mesa. Empecé a investigar más a fondo y descubrí todo un mundo oculto de frikazos. A través de foros de intercambio de juegos conocí a un chaval muy majete que me invitó a jugar con su grupo todas las semanas.

Quedar para jugar con desconocidos. Eso es otro nivel.

Me uní a ese grupo, porque mis colegas cada vez tenían menos tiempo (uno por ser padre, otro por amar demasiado la fiesta). Con ellos descubrí muchos más juegos, empecé a informarme sobre el ecosistema español de los juegos de mesa y descubrí que había muchas editoriales, tiendas, autores, ferias y un foro español donde puedes encontrar todo lo que quieras sobre el tema. Con mi experiencia y la regularidad que me daba mi nuevo grupo de jugar todas las semanas empecé a escribir en el blog para que todo el mundo se enterara de lo que se está perdiendo.

¿Conseguiste captar adeptos a tu causa?

Claro. Mucha gente lo asocia al rol, que no es nada malo. Pero en realidad esto es otra cosa. Otra gente solo conoce el Monopoly pero hay mucho más y mucho mejor. La industria ha crecido muchísimo en los últimos años gracias a los móviles, redes sociales y demás. La peña está hasta la polla de interactuar con un móvil y quiere experiencias reales, diversión, pasar un buen rato con colegas...

No te creo.

Créeme. Mis padres se jubilaron y en su vida habían jugado a esto. Un día les llevé cuatro juegos y les obligué a jugar conmigo bajo amenaza de volver a su casa a vivir. Se lo pasaron como enanos y ahora mi madre no para de preguntarme por Whatsapp que cuando jugamos la siguiente. Y lo mismo las amigas de mi mujer, que me miraban raro cuando les hablaba de juegos pero les puse un Camel Up el otro día en casa y se lo pasaron como enanas. Otro colega al que convertí ahora vive en Los Ángeles y que se va a los boardgame cafés de su barrio a echar partidas con su mujer.

[body_image width='960' height='1280' path='images/content-images/2015/05/15/' crop='images/content-images-crops/2015/05/15/' filename='los-juegos-de-mesa-son-los-nuevos-videojuegos-765-body-image-1431676811.jpg' id='56368']

Los juegos que incluyen miniaturas suelen ser los más caros

Ya no es un reducto de palilleros sin novia.

Es que hay juegos para todo tipo de público. Fáciles y divertidos como Camel Up o Colt Express, otros que fomentan la creatividad como Dixit, cooperativos como el Pandemic o el Robinson Crusoe, para echarte unas risas con un grupo grande como el Lobos de Castonegro , Time´s up o Cash and Guns, para echarte dos horas echando humo como el Tzolkin, Agricola o el Terra Mystica, para dos jugadores como el The Hive, Pagoda, Memoir 44, para los amantes del deporte como Formula d, Soccer City, los clásicos de toda la vida como el Hotel, Rummikub, Stratego... Juegan abogados, periodistas, artistas, padres jubilados y funcionarios. Casi todos repiten. Tengo un amigo padre de dos hijos que guarda en su buhardilla 350 juegos.

¿Cuál es el juego de mesa más difícil al que has jugado?

Age of industry, Civilization o últimamente el Win Sir Das volk , que solo mirar sus 25 páginas de reglas da miedo, pero el esfuerzo merece la pena.

¿El Laberinto de Mattel y Hundir la flota se consideran juegos de mesa?

Sí, mucho respeto a los oldies. Pero son cortos y te cansas rápido, hay mejores cosas ahora. Los juegos modernos tienen más miga y mecánicas muy pensadas. Y hay versiones de Risk y Monopoly donde la experiencia es más completa. En mi opinión en un buen juego no puede haber jugadores eliminados como en el Monopoly. Lo suyo es que la tensión llegue hasta el final de la partida y todos los jugadores tengas las mismas posibilidades.

¿Cuántos juegos tienes tú?

Más o menos cincuenta. Cuando voy a una tienda me entra ansiedad, porque veo la cantidad de juegos que me quedan por jugar, temáticos, de guerra, party games para todos los jugadores, de estrategia... En la tienda La Comarca venden reliquias difíciles de encontrar. Obras de arte como el Maquiavelo, Kremlin, La Furia de Drácula, juegos descatalogados. Los juegos que incluyen miniaturas suelen ser los más caros, aunque a veces hay ofertones y lo más que me he gastado son 50 euros en un juego. Y si no siempre se puede acudir a foros donde la gente intercambia juegos usados. O ferias mundiales como la de Essen en Alemania. Yo voy este año. Las pelis ya se han tenido que ir al trastero pero como siga a este ritmo la siguiente en irse al trastero será mi mujer.

15 May 02:21

Bloooop, Hissss, Chugga Chugga

by selfnoise
Sometimes you wake up in the morning and you think, "Hey, I wish it sounded like a train station in here". Turns out this mysterious person* recorded a bunch of Japanese stations for your benefit!

If you just want to hear the amazing train jingles from Japan, here's a video with a LOT of them.

When you're all set with Japan, why not try London or Virginia (on Christmas Eve 1957)?. And then for a change of pace, why not listen to a train journey in Norway or Russia?

*Mysterious mainly in that I don't know any Japanese. Sorry.
15 May 00:25

The best hot sauce recipe

by Mark Frauenfelder

I usually avoid hot sauce because I'm afraid it might contain onions and/or cilantro, both of which are loathsome by any objective standard. Here's a hot sauce recipe from my friends Kelly and Erik at Homegrown Evolution that sounds perfect. Read the rest

15 May 00:22

'I'm Special': Jim Parsons Adapting 'Thought Catalog' Writer's Book as a Pilot

by Choire Sicha
by Choire Sicha

ryan-oconnellJim Parsons, of Big Bang Theory fame, and his gay lover, Todd Spiewak, have optioned a book to make a half-hour comedy series, according to Deadline. Here's what's notable about this:

• The book is a memoir by Ryan O'Connell, who was the first writer at Thought Catalog and has penned millions of blog posts explaining what it's like to be a millennial. He literally might be the "voice of his generation" if he's not in the same generation as Tavi.

• The book's about, among other things, being gay and having cerebral palsy — something O'Connell had never even written about before, even as he mined almost any other topic:

I used to justify this by saying it was too personal of a thing to share with trolls on the Internet… But the real reason why I hid it was because, well, I medium-hated myself and wasn’t ready to deal with it.

• The memoir — I’m Special: And Other Lies We Tell Ourselves — isn't even published yet. It'll be out in June.

Parsons has himself done some memoir work in the form of an episode of the TLC show Who Do You Think You Are? On that show he discovered he is a little bit French.

0 Comments
15 May 00:11

Europe according to Italy in 1817

Satirical map of Europe from 19th century

Although the word infographic didn't exist in 1817, this map of Europe might have been its predecessor. The unknown Italian caricaturist of 19th century depicted geopolitical situation in Europe with his sharp pencil and surprisingly the graphic survived till modern days. 

What can we understand from this map? 

Do you recognise some specific events or phenomena on it?

How would such sort of map look nowadays?

Share your ideas with OneEurope!

14 May 16:41

Watch Black Angel, the Lost Fantasy Film That Played With Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back in Theaters

by Dan Van Winkle

In certain locations, a short film called Black Angel—directed by Star Wars art director Roger Christian—ran before theatrical showings of The Empire Strikes Back way back in 1980. Since then, it’s been thought lost to time, but it was discovered again back in 2012 and is now finally online for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy!

…For now. The Hollywood Reporter says the film has played two festivals and will be available online free only for the rest of this month. It’s presented with an exclusive intro from Christian himself, and if you want to learn even more about the movie, you can head over to its website.

(via THR)

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14 May 16:41

Voice Behind Flanders, Smithers, Mr. Burns, and Principal Skinner Leaves The Simpsons After 26 Seasons - Please trap door yourself out.

by Carolyn Cox

goodbye

After 26 years, Simpsons actor Harry Shearer, the voice behind iconic characters like Mr. Burns, Ned Flanders, Principal Skinner, Otto, and Smithers has announced via Twitter that he will not be returning to the show.

Shearer quoted Simpsons producer James L. Brooks’ lawyer as saying the “show will go on, Harry will not be part of it, wish him the best.” Seasons 27 and 28 of the long-running series are slated to enter production soon.

from James L. Brooks’ lawyer: “show will go on, Harry will not be part of it, wish him the best.”. (1/2)

— Harry Shearer (@theharryshearer) May 14, 2015

This because I wanted what we’ve always had: the freedom to do other work. Of course, I wish him the very best. (2/2)

— Harry Shearer (@theharryshearer) May 14, 2015

Shearer says his departure was prompted by a desire to pursue other projects, but considering Simpsons actors have always had thriving careers outside of the series, TMZ‘s report that a contract dispute caused the actor to leave also seems likely.

Ask not for whom the bell toll-a-lee-doll-la-lees, Simpsons. It tolls for thee.

godlesskraven

(via The Verge)

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14 May 14:02

Brainsex: 8 Reasons To Date Someone Who Is Attracted To Intelligence

by Brianna Wiest
nayjimenez
nayjimenez

Being attracted to intelligence doesn’t mean being into people who scored well on standardized exams. “Intelligence” is a dimensional, faceted awareness (psychologically speaking, there’s intrapersonal intelligence, linguistic, mathematical, bodily, and so on). The point is: being attracted to intelligence is being attracted to who someone really is, and how much aware they are of that. It’s taking an interest in the immaterial part of them, and learning to love them for what they most love about themselves.

Your experience of intimacy is more than just sexual.

The word itself actually means “profoundly interior” or “most within,” and that’s exactly what happens when you date someone attracted to intelligence. To know if you’re compatible, you have to be vulnerable and honest and open, and there’s no more beautiful or sustainable groundwork for a relationship than that.

Your relationship strengthens your identity – not the opposite way around.

You end up discovering so much more of who you are because you’re constantly exploring uncharted crevices of your mind. Many relationships grate at one’s sense of self, but not those in which you’re valued for who you are, how you think and what you believe.

It inspires you to want to be better.

Not “better” by society’s standards of thinner or richer or better looking overall. “Better” in terms of smarter. Better in terms of being more self-aware. Better in terms of becoming more interesting and interested. Humans evolve toward what we believe will yield us the most love (it’s unflattering but true.) When we know that our psychological development = attention and affection, we subconsciously focus on improving that as much as we can. (If we’re going to do it regardless, might as well take the healthier route…)

Neither of you have the capacity to entertain petty dramas, so you don’t lose your connection to preventable, daily frustrations.

Simply, you both see how unimportant minor, unintentional transgressions are, and more importantly, you’re able to discuss the things that are bothering you before they become huge, relationship-ending issues.

You learn what it means to coexist.

Since even your minor beliefs and feelings and ideas aren’t just going to be swept under the rug, you learn what it means to hold your own, stand your ground while at the same time loving and respecting someone for doing the same.

You bond over your favorite books and deepest beliefs and honest conversations.

Not what beer you both prefer or the mutual “friends” you both happen to run in the same circles with. The whole process of getting to know them is a sexy geek fest of your favorite quotes and the artists nobody else knows.

You learn and you teach one other.

You’re exposed to ideas and philosophies and writing and art that you never before would have come across or maybe even appreciated, and it’s in that communion that you end up giving to one another so much more than just your time and attention… you give them building blocks too.

You’re loved for the person you are, beyond what you appear to be, or the physical space you inhabit.

It’s what everybody claims to want, yet so few people know how to achieve. People attracted to intelligence inherently understand that we are more than our bodies, that they are temporary, both in lifespan and in taut, smooth, young attractiveness. You’re seen, and desired, for who you most genuinely are. TC mark

14 May 12:26

25 Little-Known Facts About Vaginas

by Lorenzo Jensen III
Flickr, Chiara Cremaschi
Flickr, Chiara Cremaschi

1. Fear not—it’s only a hole.

Technically, the "vagina" is a hole surrounded by the rest of the female genitalia, which includes the vaginal muscles, the cervix, the uterus, the labia, and the clitoris. But for the sake of convenience, nearly everyone refers to all of the female genitalia as the "vagina," so we will, too.

2. That hole is only about 3.5 inches deep.

In its resting state, the vagina is barely large enough to contain your house keys.

3. But that hole can become twice as deep during arousal.

Like the male organ, the vagina can double in size when it’s sexually aroused, enabling it to contain at least two sets of house keys.

4. The clitoris contains about 8,000 nerve endings.

By contrast, the much larger penis head boasts a mere 3,500 nerve endings, although the entire penis contains about 24,000 nerve endings.

5. The word "vagina" comes from a Latin term meaning "sword holder."

Goddamned patriarchy, making everying about penises—even vaginas.

6. Vaginas share something special with…a shark’s liver?

A compound known as squalane acts as a vaginal lubricant. It is also found in shark livers. (Cue every man in America asking their butcher if they carry shark livers.)

7. The vagina’s pH level is similar to that of beer, wine, and tomatoes.

The average vagina has a pH level of 4, which qualifies as acidic. Sperm has a pH level of 8, which is basic, but you already knew that most guys are basic.

8. Pubic hair is sexual bait.

Some researchers speculate that pubic hair serves as a pheromone trap that lures the unsuspecting mate toward it much like the scent of pancakes grilling on a sunny summer morn.

9. Pubic hair only grows for three weeks.

Whereas the hair on your head can grow for up to seven years, your pubic hair will never get so long that you can lose your iPhone in it.

10. Only a minority of women get vaginal orgasms.

Only about one quarter of women are able to achieve orgasm strictly through intercourse, which is why youse guys need to pay extra attention to her love button.

11. What you eat affects how it smells.

Go easy on the garlic-and-sardines sandwiches and nibble on some pineapple chunks with strawberries instead.

12. Your discharge will change consistency during ovulation.

During ovulation, cervical mucus becomes clear and rubbery, just like your boyfriend’s brain.

13. Unlike your roommates, your vagina cleans itself.

Therefore, there is no need to douche. Actually, douching can throw off your vagina’s delicate bacterial balance and create a tragic situation between your legs. Only a douche would tell you to douche.

14. It can fall out of your body.

OK, it doesn’t fall entirely out and splat onto the floor, but "vaginal prolapse" is a real condition wherein the vagina plops outside of the vulva and hangs down like a sock.

15. The mysterious "G" spot may actually be the underside of the clitoris.

Although debate persists on whether the "G" spot actually exists, some evidence suggests it’s merely a sensitive area connected to the deep underside of your clitoris.

16. Vaginal farts are common.

Nearly all women get them. Take pride rather than shame in this fact. Hell, you can even form a lady’s chorus where you queef in harmony like individual pipes in a pipe organ.

17. Being morally "loose" will not make your vagina loose.

The vagina is elastic like a rubber band, so no matter how many donkey shows you perform in Tijuana, it will snap back to its regular shape after sex.

18. On the flip side, abstinence will not make the vagina grow tighter.

Now you can take even less comfort in being celibate.

19. Unlike sex, childbirth may make you looser.

This is because there’s never been a penis in history that’s as big as a baby.

20. The average vagina produces up to two teaspoons of discharge a day.

But it happens so gradually, it’s almost impossible to collect enough at any given time to stir it into your coffee.

21. Like a face, a vagina may sag with age.

The ravages of time may weaken the female genital tract’s tautness. To avoid this horrid situation, perform Kegel exercises, don’t get fat, and don’t smoke.

22. Most nerve vaginal nerve endings are located in the first inch or two of the vaginal opening.

This is why an extremely thick two-inch penis may provide more pleasure than a string-bean-shaped eight-inch penis.

23. "Lady boners" are real.

The clitoris swells and increases in size during female arousal.

24. The clitoris is much larger than what you can see with the naked eye.

Although the visible part of the clitoris is only an inch or so, the rest of it extends within the body for up to six inches.

25. Orgasm is more likely right before or during menstruation.

This seems sort of reproductively counterintuitive, for it would have made more sense if Lord Jehovah had given women more orgasmic capacity during ovulation, but the Lord works in mysterious ways. TC mark

14 May 12:22

Municipios (1): Oza-Cesuras

by Carlos Jenal
LPD y Oza-Cesuras hacen los deberes: crónica de las municipales en la España rural
14 May 12:08

Thursday, May 14 @ 7:25:22 am

by tfbrown69
14 May 12:06

Malos tiempos para la cocina en la tele

by Mikel López Iturriaga

   IMG_8594

David de Jorge, defendiendo la noble causa de la banderilla. / TELECINCO.ES

 

Más negro que un chipirón en su tinta: con este símil gastronómico se podría describir el viernes pasado para la cocina en televisión. Telecinco comunicó la próxima defunción de su espacio culinario estrella, Robin Food, que se esfumará a finales de este mes de la programación. Alberto Chicote, el chef televisivo más popular de España con permiso de Karlos Arguiñano, fue objeto de escarnio público a cuenta de su falso viaje a Tailandia en el programa El precio de los alimentos. Por si fueran pocas desgracias, días antes habíamos sabido que algo llamado Chef busca esposa puede asomarse pronto a nuestras pantallas, mientras en cada nueva entrega de Masterchef confirmamos su deriva hacia el reality efectista.

La caída de Robin Food es la noticia más triste: que un programa de cocina en sentido estricto hubiera aguantado sin quemarse en una parrilla como la de Telecinco habría significado que incluso los seguidores de Mujeres y hombres y viceversa se podían interesar por lo que pasa en una cazuela. Sin embargo, el share no subió hasta donde la cadena pretendía, ni siquiera colando en la cocina a presentadoras saltarinas (Tania Llasera), princesas del pueblo (Belén Esteban preparó unos churros en uno de los programas) y otros famosos salidos del endogámico circo de Mediaset.

El conductor de Robin Food, David de Jorge, afirma que no sabe por qué no se han alcanzado los resultados de audiencia esperados. “Quizá habría que preguntárselo a la cadena. Nosotros hemos echado el resto. Desembarcamos muy a mi manera, muy a la brava, y hemos ido encontrado el punto. Creo que hemos puesto una pica en Flandes: he seguido cocinando, sacando libros o haciendo recomendaciones literarias en Telecinco, algo que podré contar a mis nietos. Hemos llevado recetas históricas de gastronomía clásica a un espectro de público muy grande, y mi balance es muy bueno: tengo la sensación de que hemos calado entre tanto reality con un programa feliz”.

Acontecimiento histórico: Delibes en Telecinco. / MITELE

 

Sin perder el buen hacer con los guisos y el sentido del humor, el cocinero vasco pulió sus maneras para hacerse accesible a todos los públicos, pero algo del desparpajo y la cercanía de su anterior programa en Euskal Telebista se quedó por el camino. “En la primera época de ETB éramos como jabalíes recién bajados del monte, y quien nos haya conocido entonces puede pensar que en Telecinco hemos hecho una historia más pasteurizada”, reconoce. “Quizá yo no tenga la naturalidad del cachalote que era antes, pero he ganado en muchas otras cosas: recetas más comprensibles, mejor realización, mejor vocalización para que me entiendan en Antequera, en Finisterre y en Badalona. He aprendido mucho de los profesionales de la cadena y me he sentido muy a gusto. Es verdad que aquí no he sido palabrotero, pero eso es algo positivo: me gusto mucho más ahora que hace unos años”.

El drama de Chicote no ha venido de los audímetros, que no dejan mal parada su Pesadilla en la cocina, sino de un programa especial en dos entregas que emitió LaSexta, en el que el cocinero viajaba supuestamente por el mundo para explicar el porqué de los precios de la comida. El periodista Luis Garrido-Julve destapó el viernes en su blog Bangkok Bizarro que Chicote jamás había ido a Tailandia, y que las imágenes de aquel país las había tomado él para otro producto de la cadena, Equipo de investigación. Sin embargo, en el reportaje salieron precedidas de tomas en las que el chef aparecía llegando a Barajas, mirando el vuelo a Bangkok, subiendo al avión, durmiendo y bajándose de él, que daban a entender al espectador que había estado en el país asiático.

El vídeo de la vergüenza. / LASEXTA

 

Enésima prueba de la peculiar visión del rigor que parecen tener algunos responsables televisivos, el engaño corrió como la pólvora por medios y redes sociales. Chicote, que no ha respondido a mis mensajes para explicar lo ocurrido, sufrió en silencio su particular calvario hasta el lunes, cuando en un comunicado de tres frases aseguró que “tomaba nota de las críticas” y deslizaba que la responsabilidad era de la dirección del programa. La cadena, por su parte, pasó a la historia de los eufemismos más desvergonzados al explicar que la mentira era un “recurso narrativo”, como si El precio de los alimentos fuera una serie de ficción o un folletín por entregas.

Tercer frente: Mediaset negocia poner en marcha Chef busca esposa, versión patria de The single chef, con la productora La Competencia, según ha revelado la web Vertele! En este frankenstein que une el concurso de cocina, el reality y los rituales de apareamiento, tres cocineros y un montón de chicas lucharán por darse amor entre pruebas de habilidad con los cuchillos. Posible presentadora: Edurne. Posible juez: Carlos Profesor Bacterio Medina. Posibles participantes: Max Colombo, del restaurante Xemei, y Peña, de Top Chef. Personas que si querían taza, recibirán taza y media: los que criticaban a dicho programa y a Masterchef por no ser suficientemente culinarios.

¿Quién quiere chuscarse a mi chef? / VERTELE! 

 

Éste último espacio también presenta alarmantes síntomas de degradación en su tercera serie. El espectáculo que dio el jurado en el caso León come gamba fue sólo un aperitivo de lo que ha venido después. A estas alturas, todo el mundo debería saber a qué se expone cuando va a Masterchef, ¿pero es necesaria esta actitud cuartelera de los jueces hacia los concursantes? ¿A qué viene tanta increpación personal? ¿Es de recibo hacerles pasar por el castigo corporal de probar sus platos más fallidos y repugnantes? ¿Seguro que se eligió a dichos participantes por sus habilidades culinarias?

Cada nueva temporada, el cásting se parece más al de Gran Hermano y menos al del formato original, a la vez que se pone más énfasis en el friquismo, los roces, el sentimentalismo y las lágrimas. Todo aliñado con un constante bombardeo de publicidad encubierta y llamamientos a comprar libros, cursos online, campamentos de verano para niños o botellas de aceite con la marca Masterchef, en un tenderete comercial en el que sólo faltan el muñeco hinchable con la cara de Jordi Cruz o el Omeprazol especial Pepe Rodríguez. Suerte que después se emite Cocina2, donde los hermanos Torres demuestran que un programa gastronómico divertido, informativo y 100% libre de humillaciones y tontunas es posible.

 
O Corín Tellado en Masterchef. / RTVE

 

Está por ver si el final de Robin Food, la crisis de reputación de Chicote, el advenimiento de Chef busca esposa o la evolución de Masterchef marcan un antes y un después en la hasta ahora imparable expansión de los contenidos relacionados con la comida en la televisión. Si ha empezado el declive. Por ahora, lo que dejan claro son los peligros de tan pantanoso medio. Cómo el salto a una cadena grande puede acabar en traspiés. Cómo la aceptación sumisa de prácticas muy televisivas pero nada ejemplares te deja a la altura del betún. Cómo la búsqueda de la fama llevará a algunos profesionales a mostrar sus intimidades de la manera más ridícula. Y cómo un programa digno se puede deslizar fácilmente hacia la patochada.

14 May 02:00

Ways To Not Be Crazy And Listen To Me

by Nicole Silverberg

Hey, babes. Dude Corner Dude here, kindly asking you to shut up about shopping and pay attention to me. I was thinking about all my ex-slampieces yesterday as I was jacking off in a gym shower with the curtain open, and I realized every last one of those bitches was totally crazy. Luckily for you, I’ve put together a list of tips about how to not be so crazy and if you’re a good girl and follow it, I promise to eat your pussy. PSYCH! No homo. Here’s how to not be hardcore mentally ill on my ass:

 

Don’t disagree with me.

This one’s easy. When a chick disagrees with me, she’s straight-up being crazy. Let me try to ride your elderly dog like a pony. Let me get mad at you for not wanting to blow me on a Ferris wheel. When I tell you condoms are gay and I don’t use them, you need to say, “I’m not mad that you called me my sister’s name during sex.” My ideas are always good and perfect and sometimes I punch the wall if the remote is acting weird because I’m chill as fuck. If you’d just agree with me, things wouldn’t be so hard. Heh heh, hard like a dick. My dick. Blow my dick on a Ferris wheel and listen to me.

 

Be polite to me.

Women are supposed to be nice, so why are some of you so loud when I throw food at you AS A JOKE? Just say yes and THANK YOU. Don’t slam the door in my face when I say I’ll pay for 50% of your boob job so you have tits so big they’ll work as an airbag when I total your car. Don’t use curse words with me when I tell you that I wanna boing your sister up her butt so hard it’ll make her pregnant with butt twins. It was a joke, babe. Do a curtsy or something and calm down. You’re literally being so crazy right now.

 

Have sex with me.

This one’s a big one. Just let me sex you. I’m great at sex, and I know this because I almost always can make sure I come, so just give me your body to help me come. Think about it like this: You owe it to me because I want it. Whenever a girl is like, “No,” it’s a huge red flag for me. Like, hello, crazy alert! Luckily I’m a nice guy, so I won’t dump you over it, and I can promise you this: I am absolutely down for a threesome with you and your sister, I will only sometimes come in your eye, and I hate it when chicks get all clingy and spend the night. I am not your boyfriend!

 

 

Stop talking to me.

The sound of your voice is a real boner-killer because you always say something crazy. Things like, “I can’t orgasm from penetration alone,” and “Are you trying to put your dick in my toaster?” and “Leave my sister alone, you shitbag.” When girls talk about stuff, it’s RIP for my constant chub. Why don’t you let me be the idea man? I’m good at it. For example, how about we become astronauts so we can smash crotches in space? I’m getting pretty hard thinking about shooting my load on a satellite. That’s fucking science, babe. Guys love science and we hate when girls talk.

 

Stop blaming me.

I’m a pretty good guy and if something is wrong, I guarantee it has way more to do with your insane standards for me to be some kind of pussy who’s obsessed with not insulting you during sex than my normal standards for you to be a tiny sex athlete whose dreams are my dreams. So what if I didn’t answer your calls or texts for three weeks after you told me you had a missed period? It was a false alarm anyway, so I wasn’t wrong. You gotta think about things from my perspective! For example, it’s a compliment when I say I want to bang your sister because she’s related to you. Duh! Don’t be the Mayor of Crazytown. Be the Mayor of my Kitchen and jerk me off with one hand while you grill me a hot sandwich with the other. Fuck yeah! But bring pans cuz I don’t own that girly shit.

 

So there you have it: an easy list to follow so you won’t be so crazy. Follow it step by step and I will get bored of you less quickly. Lucky you!

Ways To Not Be Crazy And Listen To Me is a post from: Reductress

14 May 01:49

24 Kids’ Show That Parents Won’t Hate, and 8 They Will

by Miss Cellania

The A.V. Club has a series on children’s television, with three posts of suggestions for shows that parents can enjoy along with children, for Pre-kindergarteners, kindergarten through first grade, and 2nd-3rd grade, with eight shows on each list. And then there’s the big finale: 8 kids’ shows to avoid at all costs. I can’t say I disagree with their rankings. The Disney Channel in particular.

If your previously polite child suddenly turns into a disrespectful smart aleck, check your Disney level. Studies have shown (based on an informal survey among The A.V. Club’s immediate circle of parent friends) that Disney-sitcom viewings can result in a rise in attitudinal behavior as your kids mimic what they see on the screen. An overarching element of all these shows is an idiot adult figure that the kids feel free to make fun of, usually in a servile or authority position like doorman or manager. We pin the start of this juvenile downfall to The Suite Life Of Zack And Cody, a grating pair of twins who ran roughshod over an entire luxury hotel (and later a cruise ship with The Suite Life On Deck).

What shows did you most enjoy watching with your children? Which ones rubbed you the wrong way?  -via Metafilter

14 May 01:46

This map shows all the countries Google Maps' Street View missed

by Margarita Noriega

What if you could only see the world through the eyes of Google's Street View car?

Google Maps Street View cannot show you (all) the world. (Compilation: Disney/Google)

Google has almost every city and town on Earth exquisitely surveyed from a bird's eye perspective, including suggestions powered by the company's search engine.

But Street View is a different program. Google's goal is to take pictures of what things look like, and not just where they are. The photos are taken by a compact car with a very powerful volleyball:

Just kidding, it's a camera. The car's photo maps have showered netizens with some of the most visually iconic experiences on the Web, such as the lot-dwelling Norwegian snorkelbros of Hordaland:

Street View is great way to take in daily life in the United States, Europe, and larger Latin American cities. Want to find yourself with Christ the Redeemer? Boom:

But Street View can only show you the world it has itself discovered, and it's missed a good half of the inhabited planet:

There are vast sections of Africa, the Middle East, and Asia yet to documented by the Street View surveyor.

How many countries and people has Google missed? It's difficult to count heads, but we can start to answer that question by looking at global population density and comparing it with coverage areas.

Below is a rough slider map tool that compares coverage area (a sum of what's covered above, officially, in blue and light blue) with population density. The map on the left shows you global Street View coverage in blue. The image on the right shows global population density in red.

Oh, the places you won't go with Street View!

14 May 01:44

Global War on Rats

by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates
Enemy at the Grates: On the front lines of humanity's high-tech, global war on rats.
14 May 01:33

Mom posts photo of cool smoking baby to Instagram

by Jamie Peck
smoking-babyYou wish you were as cool as this smoking baby. More »
14 May 01:32

This Is How Lesbians Have Sex

Because lesbian sex in porn is just weird.

Step 1: Take off your lesbian attire.

Step 1: Take off your lesbian attire.

Flo Perry / BuzzFeed

Step 2: Talk about your feelings.

Step 2: Talk about your feelings.

Flo Perry / BuzzFeed

Step 3: Get yourself some scissors.

Step 3: Get yourself some scissors.

The bigger the better.

Flo Perry / BuzzFeed

Step 4: Cut your bra right off.

Step 4: Cut your bra right off.

This is known as "scissoring".

Flo Perry / BuzzFeed


View Entire List ›

14 May 01:31

Is This Article Harming Your Eyes?

by Joel Golby

[body_image width='1280' height='1152' path='images/content-images/2015/05/12/' crop='images/content-images-crops/2015/05/12/' filename='myopia-among-cool-young-people-on-the-rise-technology-and-education-maybe-to-blame-503-body-image-1431430471.jpg' id='55161']Photo via Mo Riza

This article originally appeared on VICE UK.

Short-sightedness among groovy young people is on the rise across Europe , according to a new meta-analysis from the European Eye Epidemiology Consortium (EEEC). And, worse, technology could be to blame, meaning—and don't freak out—that every single one of these words you are reading here on your computer or your phone or your tablet is currently hurting your eyes.

Zoom out. Think about your eyes. These words are hurting them. You're on your death bed, blind as a bat, swinging around in the darkness as your family sobs around you, sad wet faces that you have never seen. "My... one... regret," you are saying—you are short of breath, now, as the tiny glimmer of life you once held eases slowly out of your body—my... one... regret... is... I read... too many... VICE... articles... by... noted shitshow... Joel... Golby... and... then... went... hella... bliiiiiiiind." That's you, dying, there. The nurse closes your eyelids as the final beep of the heart monitor spools out, but it's pointless. They haven't seen anything for years. Just stumps. Moist black lumps of clotted jelly, rolling around in their dead sockets.

Anyway, back to the going-short-sighted thing. Because, as the Kings College London study confirmed, a quarter or so of the general population in Europe is short-sighted, but that number rises in young adults—almost half (47 percent) of those between the ages of 25 and 29 have been diagnosed with some strain of near-sightedness. Which is bad, isn't it? The youth are meant to rise up. How are we meant to stage a bloody revolution if we're faffing about in a public toilet with a tiny beaker of contact lens solution, desperately buffing stains off our glasses with an old T-shirt? We can't. The guns will lace through our blind and unprepared bodies like hot knives through butter.

"We knew myopia was becoming more common in certain parts of the world—almost eight in ten young people are affected in urban East Asia—but it is very interesting to find that the same pattern is being seen here in Europe," lead study author Katie Williams said.

The study also found a link between short-sightedness and higher education, finding myopia to be twice as prevalent among those who went on to HE studies than those who left school at 16, so yes: Science just proved that nerds wear glasses. It's not clear what the defining factor is in that correlation, but sitting indoors all day reading books in gloomy libraries (or, more likely, staying up late and copying and pasting your dissertation from various Google Books quotes on a high-contrast laptop screen) has been identified as one among many potential reasons.

So why are young people blinder than the general population? Well, there's a chance that formative years spent staring dully at technology could do it. Squinting at junk pictures on our Snapchats and our Facebooks and our iPads and our selfies, you know. Doing our tweets that we do. FarmVille, all that. Imagine if it turns out FarmVille degraded your eyes every single second you played it. What a shit way to go blind.

"We do not fully understand the reasons for this shift, given that this study shows the rising levels of education are not solely to blame," study co-author and ophthalmology professor Chris Hammond added. "More research is required to see if changing trends in childhood outdoor exposure, reading, and educational practices are affecting myopia development.

"While this study was on adults, we do not yet know the impact of the recent rapid rise in use of computers, tablets, and mobile phones on visual development in children," he said. But what is for sure is staring at a computer all day and then your phone on the way home and then a one-two combination of your phone and a TV when you get there is a sure recipe for eye-strain, dry eye, and exacerbated pre-existing eye conditions.

Anyway, it requires more research, so this is going to change precisely nobody's day-to-day behavior, but just think: Next time you roll over in bed and check Facebook before you've even had a piss yet, maybe you're going blinder. Next time you screenshot someone's Instagram and post and zoom in on it to see if you can detect a faint soft outline of their junk: Your eyes are possibly dying . Every time you flick your eyes away from the Eurovision Song Contest back to the hashtag for the Eurovision Song Contest and then back again to the Eurovision Song Contest, just think: Every joke about these Romanian popstars is slowly depleting your organs . Anyway, happy Wednesday!

Follow Joel on Twitter.

14 May 01:25

Check for monsters.

by Ryan
14 May 01:10

Marie Kondo, Tidying, and Behavioral Economics

by matildaben
14 May 01:02

Marijuana

by Jarret_Noir
14 May 00:28

Ewan MacColl - Scots Drinking Songs (1956)

by zero
EWAN MacCOLL is the Scots-born son of a Gaelic-speaking mother and Lowland father from whom he inherited more than a hundred songs. He has worked as a garage hand, builder's laborer, organizer, journalist, radio scriptwriter, actor and dramatist. MacColl has written and broadcast extensively about folk music, was general editor of the British Broadcasting Corporation folk music series, "Ballads and Blues," and frequently took part in Alan Lomax's radio and television shows for B.B.C.
 
Of the songs he has included in this album, MacColl writes: "I can remember as a child being allowed to stay up at Hogmanay parties when a dozen Scots iron-moulders and their wives would settle down to serious drinking. A Wee Drappie O't would be sung with everyone joining in the chorus with maybe a few English friends looking a bit embarrassed at this display of Celtic emotion and the beer jugs would be circulating freely and whiskey bottles would empty at an alarming rate. In between the songs the company would argue the merits of Edward Clod's 'History of Creation' and Volny's 'Ruins of Empires' and then as the singing became more and more rough I would be sent off to bed. As these junketings often lasted for a whole week I had plenty of opportunities to learn the songs."
 
Sleeve Notes:
 
"It has been observed that the pattern of social drinking in Scotland corresponds roughly to the three movements which comprise a pibroch [1]. First, there is the leisurely philosophical discussion, argument or monologue during which the theme of the evening is stated. The second movement consists of a set of variations in the form of repeated patriotic utterances and the last movement is a scherzo in which amorousness and bawdiness are combined to show the national prowess in a sport which, as far as we are concerned, has all the competitive features of international football.
 
The first movement is non-melodic; being confined to pure talk. The second movement is a synthesis of talk and patriotic song and the third and longest movement is wholly song.
 
Scots licensing laws have done their best to destroy this ancient pattern by making singing in pubs an offence and, wherever possible, by segregating the sexes. The legislators appear to have operated on the basis of the good old Calvinistic maxims that women are the root of all evil and that singing and licentiousness are interchangeable words. However, what is lost in the pubs is gained in the family circle and many a child who might otherwise have grown to ignorant maturity has learned some of the more interesting and pleasurable facts of life from listening to songs sung by Auntie Mag and Uncle Alec at a Hogmanay (New Year) party.
 
As in Italy, love is the great theme of Scots folk song but, unlike Italy, it is the act of love rather than the emotion which is celebrated. John Knox might rave against the sins of the flesh and numerous Holy Willies might rant against evildoers but the commons of Scotland had a healthy, realistic attitude on love which no amount of Calvinistic preaching could pervert. True, there were the prying elders and the cutty stool to be faced after the act but the joys of love and the body's needs outweighed all such considerations.
 
The frank expression of physical desire in Scots folk song has been a subject for dismay with collectors and anthologists for more than two hundred years. Only David Herd's collection ("The Ancient and Modern Scots Songs," 1769) escaped the embalmer's knife of polite hypocrisy. Bishop Thomas Percy, famed for the "Reliques of Ancient English Poetry," offered to clean up Herd's collection but Herd, being an honest man, refused and published the songs as he had found them.
Since that time, the majority of Scots collectors, apparently unaware of the fact that babies are not found under cabbage leaves, have divided their time between attempting to castrate the muse and apologizing for Herd and the lower classes' capacity for lovemaking.
 
The fig leaf of Calvinism cannot disguise the virility and appetite of the Scots muse and under the influence of a few drinks the fig leaf disappears through the window and the muse, with a smacking of lips and a bellow of laughter, proceeds to celebrate the most universal of man's pastimes."
 
Tracklist:
A1 We're A' Jolly Fu'
A2 The Calton Weaver
A3 When She Came Ben She Bobbit
A4 The Laird Of The Dainty Doon Bye
A5 Blow The Candle Out
A6 Donald Blue
A7 The Brewer Laddie
A8 We're Gayly Yet
A9 A Wee Drappie O't
A10 The Cuckoo's Nest
B1 Green Grow The Rashes, O
B2 The Day We Went To Rothesay
B3 The Bonnie Lassie Who Never Said No
B4 The Muckin' O' Geordie's Byre
B5 Jock Hawk's Adventures In Glasgow
B6 The Brisk Young Lad
B7 I Wish That You Were Dead Guidman
B8 The Wind Blew The Bonnie Lassie's Plaidie Awa'
B9 Andro And His Cutty Gun
 
(320 kbps, front cover included)
13 May 19:34

Dead Moon – In the Graveyard / Unknown Passage / Defiance (2014 Remasters)

by exy

Folks often like to laud the most remarkably enduring of rock music’s veterans by dubbing them ‘immortal’, and if you generate enough money that people are willing to pay for your blood to be changed in a private Swiss clinic, that illusion is more likely to be prolonged. At some point, though, cold reality is going to kick in. In the case of Fred Cole, singer and guitarist of Oregon’s Dead Moon, his fifty years of writing and releasing music – all the more astonishing for never having a bloated paycheck as motivation – were put on ice in March this year, when he needed emergency open heart surgery. A diagnosis of 80-100% arterial blockage sounds a bit hairy, to say the least, but true to form, Fred recovered faster than expected; the business of being a brilliant, singular and…

320 kbps | 220 MB  UL | HF | MC ** FLAC

…enormously admirable totem of underground rock can continue from its paused position.

Formed in the late Eighties by Fred and his wife Toody, who married in 1967 and have played in bands together since the early Seventies, Dead Moon are no longer a going concern, although the couple’s current band Pierced Arrows is along similarly anthemic, stripped-to-a-skeleton lines. They maintained a fierce release rate in their time, however, starting in 1988, ’89 and ‘90 with the three albums tackled here, on account of their CD reissue on Portland punk label M’lady’s (they’re also available on esteemed archive imprint Mississippi, should you prefer vinyl). Fred and Toody, plus Dead Moon drummer Andrew Loomis, would never have claimed to have invented a new rock’n’roll language – time-honoured imagery, which some might call clichés, are embraced here with passion – but at no point on these albums does it feel like a superfluous Xerox of the past.

A Dead Moon song, typically between two and three minutes long, might call back to blues, country, rockabilly, the mid-Sixties garage explosion that kickstarted Fred’s career in 1964, and the autonomous DIY punk scene (which the band managed to be a glowing example of, while largely existing outside of it). Greg Sage, of Portland’s occasionally brilliant Wipers, heartily endorsed Dead Moon early on, and the band’s debut LP In The Graveyard has a Wipers-y feel at times. Less instrumentally deft and lower of fidelity, sure, but ‘Graveyard’ and ‘Don’t Burn The Fires’ combine a yearning sweetness and a punky forward momentum with a determination to present electric guitars, bass and drums in as un-manipulated a fashion as possible.

Additionally, there’s a couple of moments of mooning balladry: ‘Where Did I Go Wrong’, in which Toody and Fred harmonise on the chorus, and a cover of Elvis’ ‘Can’t Help Falling In Love’, which Toody sings on her own. (The wide-eyed jangle which results has overtones, likely accidental, of another band of iconic Pacific Northwesteners of the time, Beat Happening.) Two more covers of blues standards, Mose Allison’s ‘Parchment Farm’ and the muddy-of-origin ‘Hey Joe’, belie Fred’s assertion on In The Graveyard’s closer, ‘I Hate The Blues’. He’s talking about the state of mind, of course: “I’ve tried to put ‘em in a bottle / Some people put ‘em in their arm.

While Dead Moon’s efficacious methods resulted in there being very little to choose between these three albums, if you must limit yourself to one, make it Unknown Passage, their sophomore non-slump. This is mainly because it begins with ‘Dead Moon Night’, the group’s de facto anthem and guaranteed entry in the rock canon of every universe but this one. Unusually drawn out at almost five minutes and making vast amounts of hay from its one primary riff, its evocation of outsiderdom is entirely the equal of ‘Roadrunner’, ‘Ace Of Spades’ or Black Flag’s ‘Nervous Breakdown’.

Plenty of great shakes on the other nine tracks, mind you. Featuring only one cover this time (an energetic run through the Chambers Brothers’ ‘Time Has Come Today’), production values are raised slightly, albeit still unencumbered by studio trickery. ‘My Escape’ and ‘I’m Wise’ fall into a gap between Paisley Underground and proto-grunge; The Wipers are recalled again with Unknown Passage’s second best number, the ulcerous snarl of ‘54/40’. The melodic jaunt of ‘Demona’ is borderline powerpop, while ‘On My Own’ locates the precise point where garage rock began to turn into proto-metal.

‘Milk Cow Blues’, another out-of-copyright staple of the eponymous genre, kicks off Defiance, Dead Moon album number three. It proves to be a red herring of sorts: Fred’s outlook starts to become grumpier here, his imagery darker and more gothic. “Born from the seeds of anger and hatred / Do it to them like they do / It’s only revenge and the worst of it all / It all comes back to you” he yowls on ‘Revenge’, countrified garage at the end of its tether. ‘Walking On My Grave’ has a DM hall of fame riff, a rejection of party political grandstanding and the claim – ad-libbed, I think – that “the New Kids On The Block are taking my place!” Toody’s sole lead vocal performance, on ‘Johnny’s Got A Gun’, has a kind of rebel song cadence to it, and warns the ill-defined powers that be of a popular uprising. (The sentiment of this song has distinct echoes in the rhetoric of America’s anti-gun control/survivalist militia loon faction; I’d like to think it’s not to be taken literally, although I’m unsure if the question’s ever been put to Dead Moon, or Cat Power, who covered it.)

It was, however, during ‘Kicked Out – Kicked In’, Defiance’s penultimate song, when I figured out who Dead Moon most closely resemble: the previously-invoked Mötorhead. Their production values are rather different, likewise their career record sales and, you’d assume, treatment of their own bodies (both Fred and Lemmy have had heart scares in the last 12 months, but Lemmy didn’t, to my knowledge, run a marathon aged 60). Both bands, though, are quintessential power trios who shun effects pedals, unofficially endorse Jack Daniels and are utterly dedicated to capturing the transcendental outlaw spirit of rock’n’roll, then heavily amplifying it. “When I was 16 I was kicked out of school / They couldn’t dig my antisocial attitude / When I was 20 looking for a job / They told me, ‘kid, you got hair too long’…” is the kind of glorious nonsense that sounds like, well, nonsense unless you immerse yourself in its spirit. Fred Cole, like Lemmy, has been doing just this for five decades, and while his ability to continue on this path remains in the balance, readers are urged to busy themselves with a few of the choicest cuts of an extraordinary band.

13 May 18:53

Retrato del roquero decadente

by Carlos Benito

 

Hacía tiempo que quería profundizar un poquito en la figura de Peter Perrett, el líder de The Only Ones, así que me puse muy contento al saber que se reeditaba en versión actualizada The One & Only, la biografía publicada en 1996 por Nina Antonia. Los tienen a los dos juntos en la foto de arriba, de ese mismo año. Acabé de leer el libro el pasado fin de semana y he terminado sabiendo bastante más, pero también reafirmando el conocimiento basado en cuatro tópicos que tenía antes, porque Perrett es una de esas figuras que sirven como modelos casi arquetípicos de una manera de entender y vivir el rock. Su perfil químico, de hecho, excede la idea previa que suele manejarse sobre él: todos damos por hecho que es uno de los grandes consumidores de drogas de la historia del rock (y el guitarrista John Perry, con ese hueco abierto en su Stratocaster para transportar sus provisiones, le secundaba gustoso), pero el libro muestra cómo Perrett estaba metido de lleno en el lado delictivo del asunto y era un traficante que iba mucho más allá del trapicheo circunstancial y callejero. También se confirma su proverbial tendencia a lo letárgico, con esos retrasos de varias horas que sus compañeros de banda daban por hechos: Antonia cuenta con detalle el caso de una Peel Session a la que todos fueron llegando con demora calculada, para desesperación del ingeniero de sonido, pero aun así sus estimaciones se quedaron cortas y Perrett se presentó el último, cuatro horas y media tarde. Y John Perry relata aquella vez que hizo dos visitas a su casa, separadas por un plazo de seis semanas, y se lo encontró sentado en el mismo rincón del suelo: no se había afeitado, llevaba la misma ropa y no parecía haberse movido, pero había crecido el montón de papel de plata a su alrededor.

Me ha sorprendido la cantidad de nombres de la aristocracia del rock que tuvieron contacto directo con The Only Ones, un grupo que parecía destinado a comérselo todo y se disolvió en una nebulosa opiácea. Por el libro asoma de pronto gente como David Bowie, Marc Bolan, Robert Plant, Freddie Mercury, Keith Richards (iba a producirles, y resulta tragicómico el encuentro de Perrett y el stone para tocar juntos, que degeneró en un festín de drogas), los Who, Malcolm McLaren o, por supuesto, Johnny Thunders, hermano espiritual de nuestro protagonista en sus hábitos, en su estética decadente y también en cierto planteamiento anacrónico para aquellos tiempos de punk. Y, hablando del punk, en cierto momento sale Sid Vicious, que daba la lata a Thunders para que le dejase tocar con él y Perrett en The Living Dead: lo consiguió en un concierto, pero, como en realidad no tenía ni idea de manejar debidamente un bajo, se lo desconectaron del ampli. No se dio cuenta de que no sonaba nada hasta la cuarta canción.

Llama mucho la atención la singular organización doméstica de Peter Perrett, que durante un tiempo convivió en la misma casa con su esposa, la paciente y eterna Zena, y su amante, la posesiva y tempestuosa Lucinda. A la segunda está dedicada esta canción que les cuelgo, una de mis favoritas de los Only Ones. El libro, por cierto, reivindica las versiones que grabaron para las Peel Sessions, menos frágiles que las oficiales, y creo que tiene toda la razón. Escuchemos la maravillosa música de Perrett, Perry y compañía.

 


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Post tags: biografías, Johnny Thunders, libros, Nina Antonia, Peter Perrett, Sid Vicious, The Only Ones

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