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Como la mayoría de las malas ideas, la teoría del orgasmo vaginal surgió de un hombre y de la ausencia total de investigación de campo. Ese hombre era Sigmund Freud y el elemento del que no se realizó ningún estudio, el clítoris. En 1905, Freud concluyó que las mujeres que alcanzaban el orgasmo a través de la estimulación del clítoris eran "inmaduras", y que toda fémina que se preciara debía llegar al clímax mediante la penetración vaginal. Esa diferenciación entre orgasmo vaginal y clitoriano no tenía fundamento anatómico ni empírico alguno. Pese a ello, la idea de que en lo más profundo de la vagina se encuentra el origen del orgasmo de una mujer madura sigue vigente a día de hoy.

Imaginad que de repente a los hombres se les dice que deben dejar de disfrutar con el pene; que a partir de ahora solo pueden y deben obtener el orgasmo mediante la práctica del beso negro y, de no lograrlo, deberían ser ingresados en un centro psiquiátrico. En 1966 todavía había psicoanalistas que dictaminaban que "si una mujer no es capaz de alcanzar el orgasmo a través del coito siempre y cuando su marido sea el compañero adecuado y prefiere la estimulación del clítoris a cualquier otra actividad sexual, puede considerarse que padece frigidez y que, por tanto, requiere atención psiquiátrica". La cita ha sido extraída de The Sexually Adequate Female, una obra de Frank S. Caprio cuya lectura resulta tan empoderadora como el título sugiere.

Solo el 25 por ciento de las mujeres alcanzan el orgasmo con la penetración vaginal. El otro 75 por ciento necesita la estimulación directa del clítoris para llegar al clímax. "El clítoris es la verdadera central eléctrica del orgasmo", afirma Ian Kerner, psicólogo especialista en sexo y relaciones y autor de She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman. Según Kernel, la confusión respecto a los orgasmos vaginales se debe a la consideración del clítoris como un simple apéndice del órgano femenino. "El glande del clítoris no es más que la punta del iceberg".

Lee más: Todo lo que aprendí en un taller sobre el orgasmo femenino

El iceberg del clítoris no fue adecuada y exhaustivamente cartografiado hasta 2009. Consta de una ramificación formada por terminaciones nerviosas y tejido eréctil que abarca el perineo femenino. Al estimularse, el clítoris recibe más sangre y aumenta de volumen, quedando más expuesto. Está compuesto por el mismo tejido que el del pene, por lo que también adquiere rigidez durante la excitación. Así, el equivalente al cuerpo cavernoso del miembro masculino lo encontramos en los bulbos del clítoris, que rodean el orificio vaginal y se llenan de sangre y se tensan con la excitación. El glande del clítoris tiene 8000 terminaciones nerviosas, el doble que las que tiene el pene, que se suman a las 15.000 presentes en la vagina y en el ano. "Las terminaciones nerviosas que se extienden desde clítoris por toda la zona pélvica forman una red nerviosa muy amplia, de la que el clítoris es el centro", explica Kerner.

El glande del clítoris no es más que la punta del iceberg

¿Qué hay del famoso punto g?, quizá te estés preguntando. ¿No es posible correrse estimulando esa zona? Sí, seguramente. Muchas mujeres aseguran obtener placer mediante la estimulación del punto g, aunque muchas otras no. Ello se debe a que probablemente el punto g "sea la propia raíz del clítoris", según Kerner. Los genitales de cada persona son únicos, lo que hace que la obtención de placer varíe enormemente en cada caso.

"Lo que es válido para una persona puede no funcionar para otra", señala Chad Braverman, director de operaciones del imperio de juguetes sexuales Doc Johnson. "No hay una respuesta absoluta a qué es lo que causa placer a todas las mujeres". La empresa de Braverman lleva 40 años vendiendo juguetes sexuales. "Si te fijas en el mercado, los productos más buscados son los que estimulan el clítoris", asegura. El más popular es el Pocket Rocket, un vibrador que "ni siquiera es insertable", añade. Johnson también dispone de estimuladores del punto g, si bien su vibrador más famoso el Conejo, también proporciona estimulación clitoriana.

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¿Por qué nos empeñamos en seguir buscando ese huidizo orgasmo vaginal cuando se nos presentan opciones de orgasmo clitoriano maravillosas por todas partes? "La sociedad considera la penetración vaginal como la única forma de "sexo real" y desprecia todo lo demás. Pero no tienes más que preguntar a cualquier lesbiana y te dirá que el sexo es cualquier cosa que haga que te corras. "Por todas partes se promueve la penetración como la forma principal de interacción sexual", asegura Kerner, que defiende y fomenta una serie de prácticas sexuales más allá de la penetración. "La estimulación del clítoris es el camino más seguro hacia el orgasmo", añade.

A semejanza del portal que separa nuestro mundo de la dimensión tenebrosa en Stranger Things, la vagina es un complejo conjunto de tejidos. No podemos hablar de que solo exista el orgasmo vaginal porque no existe ninguna vagina que funcione de forma independiente al clítoris. "Deberíamos centrarnos en todas las mujeres que obtienen placer", explica Kerner. Aprovecha cualquier oportunidad para llegar al orgasmo. Si además puedes correrte con penetración, genial. Si no, no pasa nada. Al fin y al cabo, todo está en el clítoris.

According to a new study published this month by the Journal of Health Psychology, people who prefer not to spend their time thinking tend to be more physically active than those who do enjoy exercising their brain.

Researchers tracked the physical activity of 60 undergraduate students after dividing them into two groups: those with a high need for cognition (NFC) and those with a low need. The study's authors characterize NFC as "a tendency to engage in and enjoy effortful cognitive endeavors."

Read more: Only Stupid People Have Lots of Friends

For example, people who enjoy working through challenging puzzles have a high NFC, explains Todd McElroy, a professor at Florida Gulf Coast University and one of the study's authors. Those who prefer doing mundane tasks that do not stimulate the mind, he tells Broadly, have a low NFC.

For one week, the subjects wore a Fitbit-like device that measured their physical movements every 30 seconds. The study yielded approximately 20,000 points of data for each person, McElroy says. When they compared the activity levels, or lack thereof, in the two groups, researchers found the difference was substantial: The group with the low NFC moved significantly more every day during the week than the high NFC group. The weekend readings, however, revealed less of a difference.

After reading the research, it'd be easy to default to the old stereotypes of "dumb jocks" and "smart people always having their head in a book." But the relationship between cognition and physical activity is more complicated than that. As the Independent points out, the need for cognition is not a measure of intelligence: "People with lower IQs can enjoy a contemplative life and a good cognitive challenge, for instance. Similarly, plenty of people with high IQs dislike using their brain in challenging ways."

McElroy says motivation may also play a role in a person's physical activities. For example, people may be engaging in physical activity for longer periods of time to avoid tackling a challenging mental task. Personally, McElroy says, when he's faced with grading a stack of student papers or working on a difficult statistical model, he often finds himself getting up to do chores or going for a walk.

Beyond that, one of the biggest takeaways of the study is how it addresses the negative perception of sitting around. "Just because you seem to be lazy, or what people would qualify as lazy," he says, "you actually might be engaging in some type of higher motivated thought."

Of course, people who are thoughtful and intelligent are often aware of the health risks of a sedentary lifestyle. "They are cognizant of it," McElroy says, "but by the same token, if you're engaged in thinking and thinking activities, you're normally not moving."

A follow-up study that will go more in-depth in what people are actually doing when they are or aren't moving is in the works, McElroy says.

Since it first launched in 2008, kink-centric social networking site Fetlife has amassed more than 3.5 million users and established itself as the most prominent platform on the Internet for BDSM forums, dating, and local meet-ups. So, when the site closed its doors to new members without explanation on July 7, it sent a ripple through the online kink world.

Rumors flew about the reasoning behind the change, and many kinksters feared it would make the often-stigmatized community even more closed-off to people hoping to explore it. Some speculated the user cap was due to an influx of spam bots, while others believed the site was preparing to close for good.

Many also suggested Fetlife was perhaps finally responding to allegations it does not do enough to crack down on abuse. BDSM blogger Kitty Stryker first mentioned the site's failure to identify and ban users accused of assault and rape in 2011; her accusations set off a domino effect, with dozens complaining on the site's forums about sexual assault and repeated violations of preexisting safe words and boundaries by other users. The uproar exposed a huge problem in the BDSM community, which boasts an unofficial motto of "safe, sane, and consensual" and relies heavily on trust and communication.

Read more: How to Get the Kind of Rough Sex You Want

Weeks after the initial change to the rules, Fetlife founder John Baku sought to clear up some of the gossip, saying in a blog post that the decision to turn off sign-ups was meant "to prioritize the experience of current members over signing up new members." (Fetlife did not respond to multiple requests for comment for this story). Baku noted that the support team previously did not have the capacity to respond to all complaints and that support cases had already dropped by 50 percent. He promised to take users' thoughts into consideration moving forward.

"Barriers to entry don't solve all problems... but they can drastically decrease them," he wrote. "All problems have solutions and all solutions have pros and cons. We are putting one foot in front of the other and we will iterate until we find the right balance that creates the best possible community."

Since then, the site eased up on its complete ban of new adds; It now allows users by invite only. Under the new system, paying members get one invite every two months they subscribe to the site. However, the impact of the new policy is already seeping into the site's user base. Longstanding frustration with the site's dated appearance and regulation issues have boiled over, and many users are taking their online activity elsewhere.

Chaele Davis, a New York kinkster who has had an account on FetLife for three years, says she began to seek out other options when she heard the site was closed to new members. She was frustrated she could no longer invite friends and play partners to the site and says she found Facebook groups and other closed forums that allow similar discussion to be a comparable substitute for FetLife. She used the site more for community and discussion than dating, and says she has found kinky partners just as easily on OKCupid. In fact, after several harassment experiences on FetLife, she found these mainstream forums to even be preferable.

Image via Flickr/Eduardo Santos

Davis isn't convinced the blocking of new users will fix the site's current issues with harassment and abuse. "There have been a lot of situations of harassment where there was no real response from the website," she said. "There doesn't seem to be a response that shows a lot of empathy, caring and concern, and users remember that."

Many "mainstream" dating apps offer ways to indicate interest in BDSM and other fetishes, and while users scatter from FetLife, some are flocking there instead. Feeld, formerly the threesome app known as 3nder, has seen the number of users who list BDSM as a desire grow 13.5 percent in the month since FetLife changed its policies. Founder Dimo Trifonov said the site's open-minded approach could be a draw to users new to the kink scene who were blocked out by FetLife's recent change.

"While some of our members are experienced in BDSM, we have many who are just beginning their exploration––in whatever form that may take," he said. "Our goal is to provide an open, positive space for all curiosities."

While Davis feels fine with using other sites for now, she is mourning the loss of a community she found integral to her entering the kink scene, and believes a site similar to FetLife will pop up in its place.

"I am really bummed out," she said. "I know they want to take care of the community that already exists, but don't think it serves the community well to do this—we were all new at some point. Someone is going to come up with something else, because it is needed."

Sara Ashley, another longtime FetLife user, also said the downsizing of the site is a great opportunity for another networking site to come to life. Even before the change, she says she took the majority of her kink-related online activity to Reddit and Facebook after being turned off by FetLife's outdated non-user friendly layout.

"There are many other places that have equal if not better resources," she said. "But at the same time, you cannot message people or see their profiles on Reddit the same way you could on FetLife. It is useful but certainly not a replacement."

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This may be especially true for people in rural and suburban communities. While people like Ashley and Davis are based in NYC and could easily find kink-related events without a dedicated forum for it, in places where the BDSM community is smaller and more obscured, being unable to access resources like FetLife where people can easily find like-minded individuals could make a major difference.

In recent weeks, FetLife announced it would take uninvited adds if people use a cell phone number to verify themselves upon registration. Some say the new measure will turn people hoping for complete anonymity and discretion off the site, with many people preferring not to have their identity connected to the site at all for fear of losing jobs or friends over their sexual preferences. In a post explaining that rule, Baku said it is meant to "strike the right balance between the community's overall health and a new member's privacy concern."

"We will continue to listen to your feedback while watching how these changes affect the health of the community," he wrote.

Where it all began. Photo via Flickr user Photo Giddy

You've probably been there before. In the middle of a verbal spar with someone, you're suddenly standing there, completely blanking on a comeback. You're afraid of saying something unfunny because it will thrust you further into your already deepening hole of embarrassment. So instead, you stay silent and accept that you've lost the argument. If only the fight took place on Twitter, where every comeback is perfect and essential. (This is where sarcasm font would come in handy.)

In an era where a gif can be confused with wit, it's pretty easy to think most people are fairly clever, which is why an actual IRL fight stings so bad when you miss the opportunity for a much-needed burn.

But for some people—mostly professionals—coming up with an appropriate kiss-off line seems to be a lot easier.

So we turned to a comedian, a former NHL player, a defense lawyer, a mixed-martial artist, and others—all of whom have dealt with their share of enemies—to give us the low down on how to tell off our haters IRL.

Photo via Facebook

Dave Merheje, Stand-Up Comedian

Some months I won't run into a heckler, and other months I will. Usually, the heckler is either like, "I just don't like you," so they'll just start saying shit, or other times they think they're helping , and after they'll just be like, "Hey man, sorry about that, but I just thought I was helping." Well, we're not a duo.

Hecklers are like that one person in everybody's circle that thinks they're funny. For example, imagine a saxophonist, or somebody who plays the flute. I don't know anybody who plays the flute, so if I'm at a show, and I see someone playing it, I'm not going to heckle them. But when somebody who thinks they're funny is at a show, it's psychologically easier for them to be like, "I can say shit to this person." But I don't really have a go-to phrase in response. It's usually what's in the moment.

One time we did this show in Ajax, Ontario, back in the day, and this dude was there with some of his employees at a work event—I think he worked at a grocery store. This guy just kept going at me, and I don't remember the exact things I said, but I kind of shut him off. And then after the show, he wanted to fight me. But I was with a bunch of other comics who were on the show, so they protected me.

Then later at his job, he was in a grocery aisle working, and another co-worker came up to him and was just like, "Hey man, way to ruin a comedy show." The dude punched his co-worker, and then he got fired! This guy worked at that grocery store for like eight years, he built a foundation there, and threw it all away on one knockout. We were laughing for years. It was like justice.

Anyway, sometimes someone in the audience will say something charming or witty and you just play with it because I don't think their intention is to derail you. But other times, it is. As you grow as a comic, and as a person, you know how to handle it better in more of a charming way where the audience is with you. Instead of just going, "Shut the fuck up, you piece of shit," just spin it on them and ideally turn everyone against that person. That's what you want to do.

Photo via Facebook

Terry Ryan, Former Montreal Canadien

You deal with a lot of hecklers on the way because usually people who make it that far are good players growing up, and they probably stood out. For me, it started in minor hockey.

Honestly, what I did when I hit major junior, which is the best under 20 in the world, I wrote like 15 or 20 down so I could have them in my head. But it's not like it was bothering me. I just wanted to have a comeback.

Now I just laugh at it.

One night we were playing the Blackhawk,s and I had my first shift in three games, and one of their players looked at me when I was on the ice and said, "Does your coach know you're out here?" shit like that.

But I think it's part of the game, and if they say something funny, I'll chirp back.

For example—and none of this is going to make me look good—but if someone chirped me in Montreal, let's say I was on the ice and a fan said, "Ryan, my rum and coke gets more ice than you do." I might say to them, "Where can I pay to watch you drive your cab?" In other words, more thanks for paying my salary.

Or there's the, "Yeah we're losing the game, but your face is always going to look like that." If they've got a big head: "Hey bud, I don't know if I'd rather win the lotto or have your head full of nickels." It's just second nature at this point.

You could google hockey chirps, and there would be like a thousand of them. They just get reused and recycled, and people laugh.

If you're going up that ladder and you're making money in any sport, you're making a good paycheck. So you expect people to do it because they're paying to come watch you. I don't know many people that would really let it get to them.

Kim Schofield, DefenSe Attorney

I'll never forget this one case, from early in my career: It was a nasty sexual interference case, so sexual assault of a child, and there were some reasons why the kid was lying, and there was a divorce going on. So I'm there, a very young lawyer. I'm against two crown attorneys, and it's in front of the jury. I remember thinking on the way there, if I can get through this, I can get through anything. I was successful, and the client was acquitted. So the crown attorney came up to me, this woman who I still have dealings with, and she just said, as close to me as she could get, "You disgust me." I've carried that with me through my whole career.

I was just dumfounded. I was shocked that someone would treat me in that fashion. But I think in retrospect, the best way to deal with that is through time and through building up your own integrity and your own credibility and not to be knee-jerk. Sometimes you have to just take it.

Let's say you're representing someone charged with a murder, and the family members have been known to approach defense councils. Obviously, they treat you with hatred, vitriol, etc. But I would say that in those cases, you have to just take it. You can't respond. Because it's not about you as a person.

I think the only response is a non-response. Haters are haters, they're going to hate you regardless.

Photo via Facebook

Elias "The Spartan" Theodorou, UFC Middleweight

When I was younger, I got into mixed-martial arts because of my love of getting into high school fights. I was never the person that started them, but I always finished them. Anyone with their own insecurities would constantly call me and constantly push me. So I would rightfully beat them up and take their girl or something like that. Many, many people grossly overestimate how capable they are in regards to fighting.

Whether it's haters, naysayers, or just people who are on the opposing team, I've started loving the boos that I get.

With social media, I take it with a grain of salt. Online, some people will maybe not like me as a fighter, not like my style or something. But it doesn't really matter what anyone thinks or says to some extent. People just say horrible things to get your attention.

On my last birthday during my training camp, UFC tweeted out a happy birthday to me and some random dude was basically like, "Hope you enjoy your birthday because this is the last one you're going to have. going to kill you." I was just like, it's my fucking birthday, can you just chill?

So what I did was retweet him and say, "Thank you for these birthday wishes," and then at that point, my little Twitter Spartan Army took him for me.

Also, you can do something called a Twitter audit, so it will take the analytics from and show how many fake users they have. I did that on his, and low and behold, he only had 9 percent real Twitter followers. So I tagged him in it and said something like, "More proof that so and so is living in his mom's basement spewing hate because he's not too fond of his own situation."

That actually had more pushback from my followers, and I don't think he's tweeted too much since. At least that guy, @jerkface69 or whoever he is, is gone.

Photo courtesy of Mirna Eljazovic

Mirna Eljazovic, Former Bouncer

As a bouncer, I used to be hated on a lot just for the fact that I'm a female. Men would be like, "Oh, you guys have the bartender out here doing security? That can't be very serious."

With bouncing, our set of haters is a little different from a lot of other people's set of haters because ours will actually hurt you. It was totally normal that I would deny someone access because they weren't dressed right or were too drunk, and I would have people telling me they would wait for me outside when I'm done my shift.

Threats don't ever mean anything. I laugh at stuff like that. Nobody who warns you about hitting you is ever going to hit you. It's the people who just hit. And I'll hit back, hell yeah. I've been in more fights than I can count over five years. If you hit me first, that's open season.

Winston, Preschooler

I'm nice to people at daycare. Sometimes I get mad, and sometimes I don't.

My friend Ben doesn't annoy me. But Jason pushed me down a lot of times. When Jason's annoying, I say, "No way."

If someone is being annoying or mean to you, say, "Stop, no way." Or at least that's what my Grandma said to do.

Follow Ebony-Renee Baker on Twitter.

1. Would you rather have sex with someone who never showers or someone who never brushes their teeth?

2. Would you rather walk around the supermarket in your lingerie or walk around the mall with a strap-on?

3. Would you rather orgasm loudly whenever you saw your crush or be incapable of orgasming ever again?

4. Would you rather have a threesome with two semi-attractive guys or sex with one super hot guy?

5. Would you rather watch your oldest teacher in a porno or your ex?

6. Would you rather swallow cum that tastes like piss or have your partner actually piss on you?

7. Would you rather date someone with the perfect body or with the perfect moves in the bedroom?

8. Would you rather have weak, little orgasms every time you had sex or have a super strong orgasm every once in a while?

9. Would you rather get kissed on the lips and only the lips or on every part of your body, except for your lips?

10. Would you rather get cum in your hair after you’ve just finished styling it or right in your eye?

11. Would you rather be told you suck at kissing or that you suck at giving blow jobs?

12. Would you rather watch your favorite television couple have sex or recite their wedding vows?

13. Would you rather have your boyfriend laugh uncontrollably whenever he saw you naked or cry uncontrollably?

14. Would you rather watch your dog hump another dog or have him stare you down while you’re having sex?

15. Would you rather cheat on your partner or have your partner think you cheated, even though you didn’t.

16. Would you rather have sex on a bed filled with stains or in a smelly bathroom stall?

17. Would you rather have your parents catch you having sex or catch your parents having sex?

18. Would you rather have sex with your celebrity crush once or have sex with your “real life” crush for the rest of your life?

19. Would you rather date someone who takes five seconds to cum or who takes at least five hours to cum?

20. Would you rather fuck your best friend’s father or your father’s best friend?

21. Would you rather have sex in front of police officers or in front of a live news taping?

22. Would you rather be horny 24/7 or for only one day per year?

23. Would you rather sleep with the first person you see at the bar or the first person who hits on you at the bar?

24. Would you rather find out that your “perfect” Tinder date has a girlfriend or has a foot fetish?

25. Would you rather have sex with a celeb you hate or with your ex?

26. Would you rather be turned on every single time you see a man wearing a fedora or every single time you see a man wearing Crocs?

27. Would you rather fart while getting eaten out or vomit while making out?

28. Would you rather bite your boyfriend on the dick during oral or knee him in the balls during sex?

29. Would you rather make a sex tape for only your grandparents to see or put your nudes on Facebook for everyone else to see?

30. Would you rather date someone who refuses to cuddle or who refuses to go down on you?

31. Would you rather cry every time you had sex or burp every time someone kissed you?

32. Would you rather find out that the last guy you fucked was your long lost cousin or that he was a brutal murderer?

33. Would you rather sleep with someone whose hands were always burning hot or freezing cold?

34. Would you rather have sex in a restaurant full of people or masturbate on a bus full of people?

35. Would you rather get caught having sex or kissing a blowup doll?

36. Would you rather be offered a job in the porn industry or a job at a strip club?

37. Would you rather date someone into intense BDSM or someone who likes super bland, vanilla sex?

38. Would you rather have sex in the same position with the same person for the rest of your life or in different positions with a different person every single time?

39. Would you rather get a huge tattoo of your partner’s name across your chest or a tiny tattoo of their face on your arm?

40. Would you rather give Zac Efron a lap dance or get a lap dance from Zach Galifianakis?

41. Would you rather have an intense make-out session with your teddy bear or with a poster?

42. Would you rather be tied to a bed and forgotten or marked with a hickey that your boss will see?

43. Would you rather sprain your ankle during sex or break your partner’s penis?

44. Would you rather have a one-night stand with someone you hate or temporarily get married to them in Vegas?

45. Would you rather bump your head while having shower sex or fall off the bed while having morning sex? 

Imagen promocional de 'Love' de Gaspar Noé. Foto de Benoît Debie

El mes pasado, se publicó un estudio en la revista Archivos del Comportamiento Sexual en el que se explicaba cómo la hierba y el alcohol afectan a las relacione sexuales. Los investigadores tomaron una muestra de 24 adultos (mitad hombres, mitad mujeres) a los que entrevistaron exhaustivamente sobre de sus experiencias sexuales bajo los efectos de cada sustancia.

El doctor Joseph Palamar, profesor adjunto de Salud de la Población e investigador sobre drogas en la Universidad de Nueva York (NYU), fue el investigador principal del estudio, si bien inicialmente no estaba seguro de si podía publicarse. "Una muestra de 24 individuos es muy pequeña", dijo durante una conversación por Skype celebrada a primera hora de la mañana. "Realmente era solo un estudio piloto. Un grupo de la NYU nos financió para que pudiéramos utilizar esto como un estudio piloto, con el objetivo de usar los resultados preliminares para solicitar una subvención mayor".

En el caso del alcohol y el sexo, los resultados fueron bastante predecibles: el alcohol te hace más extrovertido —lo que propicia los encuentros sexuales— y es mucho más probable que conduzca a un comportamiento de riesgo y al arrepentimiento postsexo.

Foto del usuario de Flickr Ricky Beantown

Pero con la hierba, algunos de los hallazgos fueron sorprendentes. "Algunos de los participantes informaron de que el carácter ilegal de la marihuana facilitaba el acto sexual", aclaró el doctor Palamar. "El alcohol lo puedes consumir prácticamente en cualquier lugar si eres mayor de edad, pero no se puede fumar marihuana en público; tiene que ser un espacio privado, o un área "íntima" en la que no te vayan a arrestar. Así que si invitas a alguien que te atrae a tu habitación, o a cualquier otro espacio similar, ya se encuentran en un ambiente íntimo, solos, y están haciendo una actividad prohibida juntos. Los participantes comentaron que eso te puede llevar a tener relaciones sexuales".

El estudio se llevó a cabo en Estados Unidos, que es casi lo mismo que el Reino Unido, pero también es completamente diferente en todos los aspectos posibles. Así que quise hablar con algunos británicos sobre sus experiencias, para ver si un salto al otro lado del Atlántico cambiaba las perspectivas de las personas sobre el sexo cuando se está ebrio o fumado.

Martha, una instructora de equitación de 29 años, dijo que existe "una enorme diferencia" entre tener relaciones sexuales bajo los efectos de una u otra sustancia. "Con el alcohol hay una pérdida de sensibilidad", explicó. "Puedes estar un poco atontado, dependiendo de la cantidad que has consumido. Por eso me parece que el orgasmo parece más intenso cuando has consumido marihuana".

Philipa, una administradora de 26 años, piensa lo mismo: "Sin duda te estimula un poco más —te vuelves más sensible al tacto— cuando estás fumada. La sensación es mucho mejor que cuando has bebido. Creo que es porque existe una mayor probabilidad de que fumes con alguien que conoces bien y con quien tienes una conexión más profunda, lo cual, para mí, equivale a una mejor experiencia sexual. Los polvos entre personas bebidas a menudo son bastante desastrosos.

Estas opiniones se reflejan en los resultados del estudio. "Los participantes alegaron que el sexo 'se sentía' más cuando estaban bajo la influencia de la marihuana", explicó el doctor Palamar. "Se sentían más emotivos con la otra persona y más sensibles físicamente, así que disfrutaban más el sexo. El alcohol, como todos sabemos, tiene el efecto contrario: embota los sentidos".

Carl, un diseñador gráfico de 26 años, coincidía con Philipa, pero señaló que la variedad de hierba escogida podría influir en la experiencia: "El sexo después de haber fumado maría es más agradable. Estás más en sintonía con tu pareja a nivel emocional y espiritual, por lo que te puedes comunicar mejor", aclaró. "Aunque creo que depende de qué tipo de hierba consigas. Una sativa, que sabes que no te aplatanará, por ejemplo, podría funcionar bien para el sexo. Pero si tienes una índica muy fuerte, podrías terminar absorto en tus pensamientos y no rendirías bien. No es que me haya pasado, ojo".

El doctor Palamar coincidió en que una variedad específica de hierba podría afectar a la experiencia. "Escribimos al respecto cuando solicitamos una subvención mayor; necesitábamos una muestra de gran tamaño para llevarlo a cabo", explicó. "Esa fue una de las limitaciones que no pudimos analizar: diferentes variedades de hierba, y también diferentes tipos de alcohol".

María, una agente inmobiliaria de 26 años, señaló que el sexo después de fumar marihuana casi siempre es mejor, ya que, según su experiencia, la gente rara vez tiene dificultades para rendir como es debido. "Cuando estoy borracha, simplemente no consigo lubricar, y a veces a los hombres no se les pone dura", comentó. "Estas cosas nunca suceden con la hierba".

Pero no todos se apresuraron a hablar de los efectos mágicos de la marihuana. Roy, un cuidador de 22 años, señaló que "siempre y cuando no hayas bebido tanto que no puedas tener una erección", un poco de alcohol puede ser un incentivo útil para buscar a alguien con quien follar: "Nunca has oído a nadie decir, 'Voy a ver a esta chica hoy, así que me fumaré un par de porros antes de salir porque estoy un poco nervioso'".

Y tiene parte de razón: para mucha gente, la hierba te hace un introvertido a la hora de buscar un encuentro sexual con un desconocido. Beber lo suficiente, sin embargo, suele hacer que las personas quieran follar con quien tengan a su lado.

"Varios hombres dijeron que sentían más confianza con el alcohol, y algunas de las mujeres dijeron que se sentían más atractivas estando ebrias", dijo el doctor Palamar. "Con la marihuana es distinto; los sujetos dijeron que se sentían un poco más conscientes de sí mismas. Otra limitación principal del estudio, aparte del hecho de que todos los participantes eran heterosexuales, es que no tuvimos una muestra suficiente como para controlar el nivel de consumo. Si alguien no está acostumbrado a fumar marihuana, puede mostrar una actitud precavida o paranoide, entonces puedes entender esta situación".

Ahí lo tenemos: los resultados del estudio estaban casi en sintonía con las experiencias de todas las personas con las que hablé. Sin embargo, como señalaron Roy y el doctor Palamar, para entender completamente los efectos de cada sustancia durante el sexo, los investigadores tendrán que hablar con muchas más personas.

@oldspeak1

"He soportado humillaciones; me ha restregado a muchas en la cara y yo sigo ahí, como la más tonta de todas".

"Yo le rogaba que me diera una oportunidad de quererlo..."

"Es muy difícil lograrlo, pero tengo que dejarlo".

Estos testimonios pertenecen a mujeres que encontraron en internet un sitio para expresar lo que viven con sus parejas. Las confesiones no terminan. Una vuelta por foros femeninos muestra historias como estas y muchas más.

Pero internet no es la única salida para estas mujeres que quieren compartir sus historias. Un lugar muy diferente al psicólogo o a "el café con las amigas" busca ayudar a aquellas que no pueden sobrellevar lo que viven con sus parejas. Basándose en los 12 pasos de Alcohólicos Anónimos, se formó en 1995 Adictas a un Hombre Anónimas (AHA).

Karina* es la fundadora del grupo. La paradoja de su creación se encuentra en la historia misma de su necesidad de amar. Después de separarse de su primer esposo porque le pegaba, Karina creía que algo faltaba en su vida. "Sentía tristeza, soledad, y una sensación de orfandad a pesar de estar rodeada de personas que me querían. Y como esta sensación cada vez era más dolorosa, llegué a la conclusión de que me faltaba una pareja". Fue entonces cuando se dedicó a buscar lo que le faltaba —y lo encontró— en un grupo de Alcohólicos Anónimos.

"Llegué a ese grupo y me autonombré alcohólica —aunque no lo era— y ahí conocí al hombre por el cual casi pierdo la vida y la cordura: maltratador, agresivo y violento, pero que yo decía amar. Él era inaccesible, frío y rígido, pero yo creía que con mi amor y tolerancia cambiaría... y no fue así".

Su pareja no quería estar a su lado. Siempre quería irse, así que Karina no veía otra opción más que suplicarle. "Le rogaba, me abrazaba de sus piernas pidiéndole que no me abandonara. Finalmente se fue y yo empecé a morir día a día".

No tardó en tocar fondo. Sentía cómo poco a poco "perdía la razón" hasta que descuidó a sus dos hijos, su trabajo y su salud.

"Hoy sé que no fue la casualidad, sino que fue Dios el que me llevó allí, pues me estaba preparando para que un día fundara esta asociación. Y como en mi localidad no había, tomé los principios de Alcohólicos Anónimos y así nació Adictas a un Hombre Anónimas".

Pero, ¿de verdad una mujer adicta a un hombre podría recuperarse a través de un programa basado en los 12 pasos de Alcohólicos Anónimos?

La respuesta parece ser que sí. Después de que Gabrielle Glaser, autora del libro Her Best-Kept Secret: Why Women Drink—And How They Can Regain Control, asegurara casi categóricamente que el programa no funciona en un artículo en The Atlantic, la réplica no se hizo esperar.

New York Magazine contestó. Según John Kelly, especialista en psicología clínica en el Hospital General de Massachusetts, y Lee Ann Kaskutas, investigadora del Grupo de Investigación del Alcohol en Estados Unidos, aquellos que están comprometidos con algún programa basado en esos 12 pasos tienen de 30 a 50 por ciento más posibilidades de continuar en abstinencia.

El secreto para ambos investigadores radica en que el programa es un tratamiento basado en una red que proporciona apoyo, confianza y motivación suficientes como para cambiar conductas.

"Las personas que acuden a un programa de 12 pasos se involucran en una red social que apoya su abstinencia", aseguró Kaskutas. "Cuando piensas en un mecanismo inspirado en redes sociales o en el beneficio psicológico de ayudar a otros, nada tienen que ver la fe o Dios, sino la realidad de personas que conocen a otras en su misma situación".

De acuerdo con Karina, existen algunas señales que pueden poner sobre aviso a cualquier mujer en esta situación, desde aumento o pérdida de peso y depresión hasta pensamientos recurrentes sobre la muerte. Sin embargo, es una enfermedad que presenta diversas fases, según se describe en su página de internet.

"Quienes somos adictas a un hombre tenemos la extraña creencia de que encontraremos la manera de que nuestra relación cambie".

Casi todas las razones de la dependencia emocional hacia una persona "se derivan de la infancia", una etapa en la que puede que la persona no haya tenido un apego con la madre o con el cuidador, según Aleida Ballesteros, directora de la Licenciatura en Psicología Organizacional del Tecnológico de Monterrey Campus Estado de México.

"Si no existe cercanía", explicó, "surge una ambivalencia en la que la niña está con su mamá o cuidador y lo pasa mal, pero si se separa de esa persona, su ansiedad aumenta. Así es como nace una personalidad dependiente".

Luego, en la etapa adulta, surge una especie de "bebé-madre", es decir, "una mujer que soporta golpes, abusos o indiferencia, pero que no puede alejarse del hombre que le proporciona la 'seguridad que necesita'".

Karina parece aceptar esta afirmación, pues ella cree que cuando una mujer intenta cambiar, educar y controlar a un hombre, y sobre todo cuando cree que es "normal" lo que vive, "asume la culpa y permite la violencia de su pareja".

AHA nació en Ecatepec, Estado de México, y a día de hoy la asociación cuenta con 12 grupos en total: diez en el Estado de México, uno en Chihuahua, uno en Querétaro y un grupo virtual en construcción para quienes se encuentran en diferentes lugares.

"Nuestro objetivo es alcanzar a la adicta que está sufriendo en el último rincón del mundo".

Eso sí: aunque AHA se basa en los 12 pasos de AA, al igual que otras fraternidades como Neuróticos Anónimos, lo mejor es acudir al grupo que corresponda. La razón está en la empatía: "Para que una terapia de ayuda mutua funcione, necesitamos estar con las personas que tengan la misma adicción, porque de esta manera se forma un puente de comprensión y de reflejo", aseguró Karina.

Muchas mujeres creen que lo suyo es amor, cuando en ocasiones puede tratarse de una idea obsesiva. A veces esa ilusión las despoja de su voluntad y pierden la capacidad de razonar y actuar de forma adecuada. La realidad es que la mayoría de las veces es sólo un síntoma de problemas más profundos, como explicó Ballesteros. Si es así, el primer paso para sanar, como en todas las adicciones, está en el sincero deseo de librarse de esa obsesión y contar, por fin, una historia de supervivencia.

*El nombre de la fundadora fue cambiado para proteger su anonimato.

@nohagollamadas

Documentary filmmaker Michael Moore posted an essay on his blog titled, "Is Trump Purposely Sabotaging His Campaign?" He says he knows for a fact that Trump only ran for President as a way to get a higher paycheck for his NBC "Apprentice" shows. When he actually got the nomination, he started to have second thoughts.

And then… you can see the moment it finally dawned on him… that “Oh shit!” revelation: “I’m actually going to be the Republican nominee — and my rich beautiful life is f#*@ing over!” It was the night he won the New Jersey primary. The headline on TIME.com was, “Donald Trump’s Subdued Victory Speech After Winning New Jersey.” Instead of it being one of his loud, brash speeches, it was downright depressing. No energy, no happiness, just the realization that now he was going to have to go through with this stunt that he started. It was no longer going to be performance art. He was going to have to go to work.

Soon, though, his karma caught up with him. Calling Mexicans “rapists” should have disqualified him on Day One (or for saying Obama wasn’t born here, as he did in 2011). No, it took 13 months of racist, sexist, stupid comments before he finally undid himself with the trifecta of attacking the family of a slain soldier, ridiculing the Purple Heart and suggesting that the pro-gun crowd assassinate Hillary Clinton. By this past weekend, the look on his face said it all — “I hate this! I want my show back!” But it was too late. He was damaged goods, his brand beyond repair, a worldwide laughing stock — and worse, a soon-to-be loser.

Recently, I went to Outside Lands 2016, where bands such as Radiohead, Lionel Richie, LCD Soundsystem, Duran Duran and many more were playing. But my favorite was Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem (The Muppets Band). The day after, I looked up the video for "Once in a Lifetime," by Talking Heads, and happened to find this obscure gem!

On CNN, host Brianna Keilar asked Trump spokesman Michael Cohen about his candidate's sinking poll numbers. "Says who?" he demands. (more…)

My Facebook feed has been flooded with chicks talking about stuff like catcalling and assaults and rape, and I'm like, why complain when you can do something about it? When a man comes at you, you need to be able to defend yourself—which is why you should consider shelling out $300 for a self-defense class.

As my chest tattoo says, "boys will be boys," and so you need to be prepared, even if in this case, the test is a crime, and doing the homework costs you close to half a month's rent. This is your responsibility!

We've all had that classic uh-oh moment: Someone's been accused of rape and you're friends with both the rapist and his victim! What a disaster! You may be feeling cursed and alone, wondering, "How can I possibly support both of them?" It's only natural to feel this way. Luckily, there's no need for you to complicate your life just because one of your friends has destroyed the life of another friend. Here's how to be a caring and attentive ally to both a rapist and his victim.

Jeff, a yet-to-be-convicted serial date rapist, offered to share his secret on how to end rape culture. How generous! Here's his advice:

"Rape culture doesn't exist."

Wow! Jeff admits that rapes "do happen" but that culture is "not even a thing." "There are individuals who make decisions, and that's it," Jeff says. "It's like, why can't you use logic?" Good point! We should just drop it. Be the change you wish to see in the world!

Revelatory statements from 31-year-old Todd Ratner have been made public today just minutes after several women came forward with allegations accusing him of sexual assault.

"This is a true stat, I'm not making this up—99 percent of women are lying about rape," Ratner said, blatantly lying about rape. According to reports, Ratner wrote this across several Facebook comment threads and also shared it aloud to anyone who would listen.

Ready to be inspired?

Faced with the difficult decision of having to either listen to women or talk over them, one man spoke above the crowd in his brave yet endearing attempt to make somebody else's rape about himself. 29-year-old Dave Harrison was sick of seeing public attacks on an alleged rapist, and so he asked for that energy to be put elsewhere.

"I hate this society we live in where social media dictates how we should discuss things," Harrison tweeted this morning to his thirty thousand followers. "These witch hunts started by @AmandaNewman, @KatieLeGuin and @BethanyDiaz cannot be tolerated."

Harrison then encouraged his followers to tweet at these women in order to put an end to what he calls "social media lynch mobs."

Hello, it's me, Hagatha. Yes, Hagatha the Witch. It seems that a lot of people have been calling rape accusations across social media a "witch hunt," and while I'm not usually one get involved in other people's business, this one in particular has really given me pause.

Would you like to know what an actual witch hunt looks like? Cut me down from this burning stake and I'll tell you. Seriously, pull me down, I am about to burn.

Hm, okay, so: You've been raped or abused or harassed by someone and the police won't help you and he's well-liked and you're traumatized and you have to do work for work but everything is currently shattered and you'd sort of rather just die than try to answer even one email. Yeee-ikes! You could start down the painful road of recovery, but that's more work for you to do. Plus it makes everyone uncomfortable, so ... have you considered just sort of burying it down deep, deep, deep where no one can find it? Here's how to pack your trauma in a lil' bindle and keep on keepin' on.

Here's Jacques Pépin showing how to chop garlic, and how to make garlic puree with just a knife. An important step is to remove the stem before peeling, because it makes it easy to remove the skin.

Researchers at the University of Missouri have found that people with restless, fidgety legs may have an advantage in one key area of their health. A triumph for those of us who feel constantly judged for our jittery tendencies.

Según un estudio llevado a cabo por un equipo de investigadores de la Escuela de Medicina de la Universidad de Yale, y que ha sido publicado en la revista Social Science & Medicine, leer libros podría incrementar tu esperanza de vida (lo cual, desde el punto de vista poético, significa vivir más vidas y, además, más tiempo).

La correlación no hace distinción entre libros físicos y libros electrónicos: los investigadores descubrieron que los que leían libros viven un promedio de dos años más que aquellos que no leen libros tras analizar datos de un estudio de salud en el que intervinieron 3.635 personas.

Concretamente, los que leían hasta 3,5 horas a la semana tenían un 17% menos de probabilidades de morir durante los 12 años de seguimiento del estudio que los que no leían absolutamente ninguna obra. Los que leían aún más, eran un 23% menos propensos a morir, en comparación con los no lectores. Según Becca R. Levy, coautora del trabajo:

Las personas que informaron de una media hora diaria de lectura de libros tenía una ventaja de supervivencia significativa con respecto a los que no leían.

La edad, la raza, la salud, la depresión, el empleo o el estado civil se tuvieron en cuenta para establecer esta correlación. Pero no hemos de olvidar que solo es una correlación, así que no podemos afirmar que una cosa sea consecuencia de la otra: quizá los que suelen leer libros tienen otros hábitos que refuerzan su esperanza de vida. Sea como fuere, leer libros siempre es un buen consejo (a ser posible si no están entre los más vendidos).

Vía | La Vanguardia
Imagen | pedrosimoes7

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La carne fresca procedente de las vacas y bueyes de Galicia contará con una Indicación Geográfica Protegida (IGP) propia

Esta iniciativa servirá para preservar y poner en valor estar producciones. El pasado 8 de agosto se publicó en el Boletín Oficial del Estado (BOE) la resolución de la Xunta por la que se da publicidad a la solicitud de registro desta IGP.

La titular de Medio Rural, Ángeles Vázquez, recordó que el pasado 22 de julio se publicó en el Diario Oficial de Galicia la solicitud de inscripción en el registro comunitario de esta IGP, que surge a iniciativa de Ternera Gallega. Este producto se obtiene de las principales razas, que son la Rubia Galega, Morena Galega, Asturiana de los Valles, Limusina, Rubia de Aquitania e Frisona.

En cuanto a sus características técnicas, esta carne deberá presentarse refrigerada, sin que pueda ser congelada en ningún momento a lo largo del proceso de obtención y comercialización. La vaca se caracteriza por ser una hembre con al menos una gestación antes del sacrificio. El buey debe ser un macho castrado antes del año de vida y superar los 48 meses de edad antes del sacrificio.

Esta IGP abarcará la totalidad del territorio gallego. Los animales deben nacer, criarse, engordarse, sacrificarse y despiezarse en la comunidad gallega, con el objetivo de preservar la especificidad y controlar las condiciones de obtención del producto. Cada fase constará de un etiquetado concreto. Además, se establecerá un consejo regulador único para las indicaciones geográficas protegidas de ternera gallega y de la carne de vaca y buey, con el fin de mantener una relación entre estos dos sellos de calidad.

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