Beast

Because Mondays, amirite? This is a video of Minneapolis meteorologist/man whose mother should still dress him Steve Frazier realizing he left the wire hangar in his suit, and pulling it out during a live broadcast. It is arguably one of the worst magic tricks I've ever seen. How he didn't realize he had a hanger in his suit earlier is beyond me. Of course, I accidentally put on a pair of boxers once with my roommate still in them, so I probably shouldn't be talking. Keep going for the video, then go back to bed.

This is 'TIE Fighter', a beautiful seven minute Star Wars short drawn and animated entirely by Youtuber OtaKing77077 in the style of 1980's anime. It is most impressive. You know, I tried making a flip-book once and abandoned the project by the third page. My mom still hung it up on the fridge, but only to to remind me what a failure I continue to be. That was Monday. Keep going for the video, which I borrowed (stole) from our sister video site Hedonistica, which also has a worthwhile compilation of all the different Disney castle animations used at the beginning of their movies.

Ah, the ’90s. A time when animation producers were no longer confined to making the half-hour toy commercials that lined the children’s television landscape of the prior decade, and were free at last to let their imaginations run wild. Including no less a producer than Steven Spielberg — whose Animaniacs offered a host of memorable cartoon characters, including Pinky and the Brain. The lovable genetically-altered lab mice (one a genius, the other most definitely insane) proved popular enough to earn their own Emmy Award-winning spin-off series on Kids WB, where their ill-fated schemes to take over the world lasted sixty-five episodes (and resulted in yet another spin-off, Steven Spielberg Presents Pinky, Elmyra & the Brain).

But beneath the hilarious pop-culture parodies of Pinky and the Brain lurked something… sinister. This is, after all, the tale of two innocent animals poked, prodded, and punctured by scientists into twisted caricatures of humanity. And as such, the show’s a darn sight creepier than anything Tom and Jerry — or even Itchy & Scratchy — could conceive. Don’t believe me? Take a look at this (mostly) scientifically accurate rendition of Pinky and the Brain‘s opening sequence from the folks at Animation Domination, and tell me it’s not the darkest, most disturbing cartoon ever.

Yes, even the people at PETA would be hard-pressed to come up with a more effective vehicle for conveying the apparent cruelty of laboratory testing…But what do you guys think? Does this cast Pinky and the Brain‘s irreverently cute title critters in a whole new light? Let us know what you think below. Narf!

In what many are calling a blatant act of terrorism, somebody took a shit so foul in the lavatory of a British Airways flight from London Heathrow to Dubai that the flight had to turn around and land 30 minutes after takeoff. Wow. First of all, what kind of jerk takes a volatile shit not even 30 minutes into a flight? You should have checked those bags AT THE AIRPORT. Now I know what you're thinking, and yes, it was probably a case of emergency diarrhea. But, just like how pools post those, "Persons having currently active diarrhea or who have had active diarrhea within the previous 14 days shall not be allowed to enter the pool" signs, the same should apply to flights. Maybe not 14 days though, maybe just two or three. Truthfully, I can't remember a time when I've actually gone more than three days without diarrhea. And please, for the love of god, tell your kid to stop punching the screen in the back of my headrest. Thanks to Michael K, who agrees if you're having butt problems, you should stay grounded.

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What is the difference between a cortado and a macchiato?

Acceptable Answers:

A) A macchiato has less milk.
B) There is no discernible difference.
C) Can we move this along? My Trinidadian nanny is double-parked.

Is “Apple” a boy’s name or a girl’s name?

Acceptable Answers:

A) It’s a girl’s name
B) It’s a fruit.
C) Naming a kid Apple, Django, or Kombucha has more to do with a parent’s insecurity about their own individuality than anything else but what the fuck do I know, my name is Hemingway Mandela Frito Lapinsky and I’m only four years old.

Is the recent opening of a Rag and Bone in this neighborhood good or bad?

Acceptable Answers:

A) It’s good for rich people.
B) It’s bad for everybody.
C) Anyone that pays $350 for a shirt that will one day sell for $29.99 at T.J. Maxx is basically getting ragged and boned.

Which is better, Whole Foods or Trader Joes?

Acceptable Answers:

A) Whole Foods.
B) Trader Joes.
C) Sometimes my mommy gets into the bathtub when there is no water in it and she cries.

You throw a fit at brunch and people start shooting your parents dirty looks. What should they do?

Acceptable Answers:

A) They should take me outside.
B) They should refer everyone in the restaurant to the Wikipedia pages for Cognitive Social Learning Theory and Emotional Self Regulation Strategies.
C.) Brunch is for people who don’t understand that a ham and goat cheese frittata is really just an overpriced western omelet.

What is Kombucha?

Acceptable Answers:

A) A healthy drink my mommy likes.
B) An $8 bottle full of lies.
C) I have a sister named Kombucha.

Should a child under the age of 14 be allowed to sport a Mohawk?

Acceptable Answers:

A) What’s a Mohawk?
B) Ironic hairstyles should be prohibited until a child is old enough to judge for themselves whether or not wearing their hair a certain way will ultimately have an impact on their ability to have sex with people.
C) My daddy watches bad things on my iPad.

How do you feel about organ meats trending on the menus of local restaurants?

Acceptable Answers:

A) I prefer french fries.
B) My great, great grand parents ate liver, spleens, and eyeballs so I wouldn’t have to.
C) I’m sorry, I forgot the question, can I bum an Adderall?

What is 2 + 2?

Acceptable Answers:

A) 4
B) 87
C) Bologna sandwich.

Public potty training, where do you stand on this?

Acceptable Answers:

A) Beats pooping in your $250 Stella McCartney toddler jodhpurs.
B) I will be talking about it in therapy for the next 30 years of my life.
C) (Pointing to his or her own nose) Hey look, a snot bubble!!!

This is a video of Lottie the African Grey impersonating Sean Connery's version of James Bond. Plus whistles a little bit of the James Bond theme. Then sort of clicks and squeaks and coos and whatever the hell else because it's a bird and birds make weird noises. I have a friend with a bird that can do a spot-on impersonation of the text message notification on my phone. That got old real quick. Keep going for the video.

« Transit » est une sculpture de l’artiste Valay Shende, basé à Mumbai, qui a représenté un camion grandeur nature entièrement fait de billes en inox et qui transporte 22 personnes. Il a fallu 18 mois pour rassembler des milliers de billes entre elles et qui sont là pour symboliser un hommage aux drames des suicides dans les fermes indiennes, durant la dernière décennie. Un travail exposé au Mumbai City Museum ce mois-ci.

Images courtesy Sakshi Gallery.

The last time I tried to make a multi-layer cake, I failed miserably. You can imagine my shock and dismay to then do a little wandering around the internet and find that not only are there bakers out there who can make it perfectly every single time, but there are people out there basically stunt cake-making with teeny tiny utensils and teeny tiny cakes. Just this week, Miniature Space released a new video, and while the cake featured is simply white bread (mine was homemade sponge cake, thank you very much), the ability of this person to actually make things decorated and cut-able and beautiful boggles the mind.

Have you ever had really delicious cassata cake? There are a lot of different versions – some with buttercream, some with whipped cream, but all have strawberries. The unifying feature is that they are all absolutely and completely delicious. I can’t lie and say that this tiny little cake of white bread, strawberries and what I can only assume is some kind of very liquidy vanilla icing immediately made me think of all the amazing cassata cakes I had as a kid. A part of me wanted to reach through the screen and snatch that cake up and eat it – even though I know, logically, that white bread, strawberries and icing are not going to live up to the masterpiece that is a real cassata cake.

I also sat here trying to imagine exactly how I would manage to cut up a strawberry and arrange the pieces of it using a teeny tiny knife and a teeny tiny set of tongs. I am just not dexterous enough to manage it. I drop things with full sized tongs and manage to mangle even the most sliceable loaf of bread with a full-sized knife.

So from one chef to another, I salute the normal sized human making tiny sized food. Somewhere out there is a hamster who is very much wishing their human could make them such confectionery marvels.

What’s the most impressive cooking feat you have managed – bite sized or full sized? Tell us in the comments below!

ht Laughing Squid

I was excited to discover the work of Joseph Veazey. A graduate of the Savannah College of Art and Design, he has since moved onto positions at Adult Swim and Azede Jean-Pierre – an upcoming fashion label based in New York. His illustrations have been featured in American Illustration, Creative Quarterly, CMYK Magazine and Print.

 

 

 

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Also worth viewing…
Andy J Miller
Andrew Neyer
Colorcubic

 

 

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These days indie gaming is all the rage, and for good reason. After all, some very talented people have worked their asses off to produce a selection of fantastic titles over the last several years. However, for every great indie that receives critical acclaim and praise, lays a handful of poor, mediocre and failed efforts that didn’t come together as well as their developers had hoped. One such game is LA Cops, from Modern Dream and Team17 Digital.

As offensive as it is bad, LA Cops is full of sexist and boneheaded dialogue that grates on one’s ears. It’s supposed to represent the disco seventies, with its crassness, laid back attitude and lack of political correctness, but still manages to come off terribly. As such, what could have been a funny premise is wasted by unashamedly juvenile execution.

So, what is LA Cops? Well, to put it simply, it’s a short and ugly top-down shooter that borrows from better games like Hotline Miami. It thinks it’s the coolest cat at the party, but it’s really just cat litter.

Players choose from one of several unique police officers, all of whom feature stereotypical physical attributes. There’s your black Samuel L. Jackson wannabe, your appropriately named Asian cop, the balding white guy, and the cool-as-steel renegade. Going further, there’s also a new female hire who, in one cutscene, is berated by the chief because he doesn’t want to build a second bathroom for women. I kid you not.

This downloadable PC and Xbox One game’s brief campaign takes place over approximately eight story missions, though there are also several bonus levels to unlock. It isn’t something that you’ll keep playing for hours on end because of its longevity, though. Instead, you’ll be doing so as a result of its difficulty. That is, if you choose to continue playing after the first couple of missions.

LA Cops doesn’t do itself any favours by being as cheap as it is, and its uneven difficulty eventually catches up to it. I’m not too prideful to admit that I got stuck near the end of the campaign, because this is far from an easy game. I played on normal, which is actually the easiest of three available difficulties, but still got my ass handed to me as I approached the end. It’s not because of great game design, or an error on my end, though. In actuality, bad game design is to blame.

An example of a typical mission finds the player’s two selected cops standing outside of a building. On the first interior floor, seven armed guards are on patrol, and above them are even more. In order to move on, one must take out all of those assholes without losing both cops. Otherwise, it’s game over.

As a top-down shooter, LA Cops presents a viewpoint that makes you feel like you’re God staring through a roof. Camera controls allow for things to be rotated, and pressing the d-pad up or down toggles the zoom. However, despite having those options at your disposal, you’ll still struggle to find good angles and properly monitor all of the nearby baddies. It’s a pain in the ass, and isn’t made much better by a shitty radar system that takes up the bottom left corner of the screen if you toggle it on.

What you’re supposed to do is move from room to room, arresting or shooting each enemy you come across, while completing miscellaneous tasks like destroying drug tables. It’s a simple, but poorly executed formula, which results in much more frustration than fun. Even though the developers billed their game as a strategy title, and tell you that both cops need to work together, there’s no follow command and the AI is mixed at best. It’s also very easy to die, and you’ll most often end up doing so in the blink of an eye, after just one or two shots from an enemy. For some reason, they’re generally quicker on the draw than our heroes, too, which adds even more frustration to the mix.

If one cop falls, you can still complete the mission. He can also be revived, so long as you find a health pack and bring it to him. What’s annoying, though, is that the packs cannot be brought from one floor of a building to another. That means that you’ll want to try to find each floor’s med pack so that you’ll have them if need be. Lone hearts are also available, for a quick health boost when you’re injured, but they’re not as important as the med kits are.

When there’s only a sparse amount of enemies (say two per room), things aren’t too difficult, because you can wait for them to turn their backs and take advantage of that. However, later levels drop multiple enemies into rooms and expect you to be able to take them out in a split second, before they’re able to fire on you. It doesn’t work all that well, especially when you consider how bad the twin-stick aiming can be and how limited your ammunition can become. Sure, you can lock onto foes, but it takes a second to toggle from one to another and sometimes selects the wrong dude. Additionally, though you can upgrade each cop, they all share a pool of experience, and it’ll take you a long time before you’ll be a super powerful officer of the law. Expect to have to replay missions over and over and over again in order to build up that type of experience, and go in knowing that said points are also required for buying new starting guns like shotguns and an assault rifle.

Where things really fluctuate is in the enemy AI department. Sometimes, you’ll be able to kill someone steps away from his ally without them noticing at all. Then, there are occasions where killing one foe will cause five to rush towards you at once. It’s a bit of a joke, not to mention a huge annoyance.

Upon completion of a mission, you’ll find yourself in the chief’s office with scores scribbled on a blackboard or something like it. Everything you’ve done will be scrutinized and rated, including deaths, kills and arrests. The latter, non-lethal type of takedown, is worth the most, and can be accomplished by going up to an enemy and hitting the melee button. You’ll want to do it while using only one cop, and make sure that the bad guy’s back is turned to you, otherwise you’ll risk your partner killing him. That, or death itself, when the baddie kills you with a quick shot or two.

On the presentation side of things, LA Cops continues to be a disappointing affair. Its voice acting is cringe-worthy, its dialogue is atrocious, and its visuals are reminiscent of a mediocre Flash game. There’s really little to write home about, unless you love seeing Flash-based blood fly out of characters.

Do yourself a favour and don’t buy this. Unless you’re a masochist who finds fun in playing bad games, you won’t be missing anything by skipping LA Cops. It’s an ugly, frustrating, repetitive and insulting mess.

This review is based on the Xbox One version of the game, which we were provided with.

owlindaylight:

vintage children’s book illustrations by kiyo tanaka

Japanese Poster: Hirusagari Yu-utsu Delivery. Hasegawa Shinpei. 2014

This is the massive Star Wars inspired snow sculpture serving as the centerpiece of this year's Sapporo Snow Festival in Japan. The piece measures 15 meters (~49-feet) tall, 22.6 meters (~74-feet) across, 20 meters (~66-feet) deep, and took about a month to complete. Impressive work. Also, I am going to Photoshop myself into the picture to make it look like Vader is cupping my balls in his hand, just so we're clear. Keep going for several more shots to really appreciate the sculpture's size.

And just in time for the most epic St. Patty's Day ever. After being ruled unconstitutional by the Irish Court of Appeal this morning, the 1977 Misuse of Drugs Act is no longer in effect, and, as a result, the drugs it outlawed (including MDMA, ketamine, meth, benzodiazepines, psychedelic mushrooms) are currently legal to buy and possess (but still not sell or distribute). At least until the government passes emergency legislation tonight. *looks up time difference and flight time to Ireland, remembers the legality or illegality of drugs has never affected my use in the past, closes browser window* Well that was a roller coaster of emotion. Now let's grab some cotton candy and hit the carousel. Thanks to MAEM, who informed me all leprechaun sightings are really the result of people drunk or on drugs or not wearing their glasses.

This is a picture of Morpheus from The Matrix offering bathroom users the choice between blue and red pills at the sink. In case you've forgotten, or didn't see the movie, Morpheus offers Neo the choice between a blue pill, which will allow him to continue living in the fabricated world of the Matrix with "the ignorance of illusion", and the red pill will allow him to be unplugged and have to live in harsh reality. Neo takes the red pill. Me? I don't care which pill you take, just as long as you wash your f***ing hands after touching your penis. Keep going for the scene from the movie.

This is a series of photos of contortionist Julia Günthel, who goes by Zlata when she's on stage bending her head backwards between her legs or packing herself into a tiny acrylic box. Doctors have verified after a series of MRI scans that her ligaments are flexible as an infant's. My ligaments? My ligaments are stiff and bring me great pain. When I went to the doctor for my annual checkup he told me I have the body of an octogenarian. That's when I spit out the tongue depressor I'd been chewing on and told him I am NOT some fat sea-witch like Ursula. "GW? An octogenarian just means somebody in their 80's." Well sure, I know that now. Keep going for a bunch more shots, the last two of which WILL BLOW YOUR MIND (or give you the heebie-jeebies) and a clip from the Discovery Channel.

This is a video of a ton of spiders (not actually spiders, actually arachnid Opiloines, or daddy longlegs/harvestmen, previously seen HERE and HERE) falling from the ceiling and walls of an abandoned garage in Mexico. Now I can see understand why it was abandoned. Did I tell you I think a spider bit my face in my sleep the other night? I woke up and my face was all puffy and ugly. "That's just your face." I was afraid of that. Keep going for the Facebook video, as well as a shitty Youtube bootleg version in case that one doesn't work for you.

Mud, a new spa in Chicago, is offering $40 breast milk facials. Apparently breast milk has all sorts of health benefits (you infants know what I'm talking about!) and is perfect for use with sensitive skin. Man, I used to love breast milk. That was probably my favorite thing to eat or drink until I was like, six months old.

I really wanted to come up with something that was quick, effective, that appealed to the urban city girl...There are so many mommy blogs out there that talk about using breast milk to basically help with skin conditions.

Interesting. No word how many men have called to cancel their appointments after learning the milk is acquired from registered breast milk banks beforehand and this was not going to be a motorboating situation. Keep going for a news report about the procedure.

WARNING: Some of the album art is graphic (bare boner at 1:38), and the music, for the most part, is f***ing awful. Proceed with caution. Jk jk, proceed with reckless abandon. This is a 9-minute video featuring some of the worst album covers of all time (as voted by people on the internet, so a bunch of jerks basically), and the music behind them. The majority sound like listening to a train wreck in slow motion. The rest sounds like listening to a train wreck at regular speed, or slightly sped up. Keep going for the video and regret it almost instantly. Definitely by 1:38.

This is a video from Japan of three Olympic fencers taking on fifty amateurs at the same time. Kills are scored by popping the balloon on another fencer's chest. Who do you think wins? SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER: There are only two amateurs remaining when they finally manage to pop the last pro's balloon. Impressive work, pros, but I'm gonna need to see you take out all 50 without losing a man if you want to join my death squad. Keep going for the video. I took fencing in high school but always got disqualified for sweeping the legs.

18-month old Honey-Rae was left with red birthmarks covering the right side of her body after complications during birth. And now her parents have gotten tattoos of her birthmarks on their own bodies so she feels special and not so alone in this cold, harsh world. When my parents saw I was born with part of a tail? They tried selling me to a traveling circus. "We didn't try to SELL you, son, we tried to give you away." My dad, ladies and gentlemen! Keep going for several more shots of the happy family.

This is the photo of a weasel riding/attacking a flying green woodpecker taken by amateur photographer (read: regular person) Martin Le-May in his yard in Essex, England. Personally, if I was a weasel I'd prefer to ride a hawk, but that's just me and I'm at war against the squirrels.

Speaking to BBC News, Mr Le-May said he had managed to capture the moment while he was out walking with his wife Ann. "I think we may have distracted the weasel as when the woodpecker landed it managed to escape and the weasel ran into the grass." Wildlife expert Lucy Cooke told the BBC News Channel: "This is a truly extraordinary image. "The green woodpecker is a ground-feeding bird, but weasels normally attack rabbits. The woodpecker is not its usual prey.

You think the weasel was actually attacking the bird, or you think it just wanted to know what it was like to fly? Because if I was a weasel sitting around watching birds fly all day I'd probably want to know what it was like too. Thankfully, I'm not a weasel, I'm a chipmunk and I'm too busy stuffing my cheeks (mouth and butt) with nuts to think about that stuff. Thanks to Brendan of Hampshire and Ant C, who agree Mother Nature has officially lost her shit.

Drone hobbyist Chris Anderson taught a group of 14-year old boys how to program a drone's movement using the Tower flight control app, and they immediately ran out and drew this penis. I can't say that I'm surprised, I would have done the exact same thing. Except PHOTOREALISTIC. Seriously? That thing looks like the kind of penis you'd imagine a blimp would have and I feel sorry for anybody whose actually looks like that. Mine looks like a bendy straw. Thanks to Sean, who agrees if you're going to draw a wiener, go big or go home.

This is a video of two guys performing a choreographed battle with urumi, or metal whip swords. How they both didn't cut their own legs off is beyond me, but I suspect they're trained professionals and not just two guys they picked up off the street and offered $20 to kill each other. Per Wikipedia:

The urumi is a sword with a flexible whip-like blade from India. Originating in the country's southern states, it is thought to have existed as far back as the Maurya dynasty (~322-185 BC). The urumi is considered one of the most difficult weapons to master due to the risk of injuring oneself. It is treated as a steel whip, and therefore requires prior knowledge of that weapon. For this reason, the urumi is always taught last in the Indian martial arts.

Obviously, I just ordered some urumi online and have every intention of challenging my roommate to a battle to the death. What he doesn't know though is his urumi is actually just going to be a strip of cardboard covered in tin foil. Provided I don't accidentally kill myself, I think I've got this. Keep going for the video, then go grab a metal tape-measure and practice yourself at home.

La série « Cars and Bodies » rassemble 14 photos et une installation vidéo, réalisées à Los Angeles et à Bordeaux par Thomas Cestia, Romain Dussaulx et Yann Rabanier. Sur le thème de la mobilité dans les grandes mégapoles et de la perception du territoire, ils ont voulu rendre compte de l’embouteillage humain qui existe dans des voitures. Ces corps entassés et imbriqués dans de petites voitures font écho aux véhicules qui s’emboitent et se serrent sur la route.

Produit par Caporal Films.

La société spécialisé en tournage avec drone, AeroCine, présente son dernier film intitulé « The Fallout ». La vidéo se passe en Ukraine dans la région de Pripyat, sur la zone de la catastrophe de Tchernobyl. Le drone nous emmène de manière aérienne dans zones sous haut danger. Ce voyage plongé au coeur de lieux devenus sans vie est poignant.

This is a series of album covers designed by illustrator Rocky Davies featuring iconic villains and lyrics from the 80's. The 1980's by the way, not the 1880's. I don't know who the famous villains of the 1880's were, but I suspect they all had amazing mustaches and rode horses. *looks up date for the gunfight at the OK Corral* Haha, October 26, 1881 -- I was right. Keep going for more including Doctor Doom, The Joker, Predator, Freddy Krueger, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, and I forget who else.